


Cloudburst

by dracoangelica



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Abigail - Freeform, Addiction, Alcohol, Alzheimer's Disease, Anal Sex, Anti-Capitalism, Anxiety, Childhood Trauma, Coming Out, Death, Depression, Ellliott, Explicit Language, Festival Shenanigans, Homosexuality, Jodi - Freeform, Lewis - Freeform, M/M, Magic, Male Farmer/Sebastian, Male Homosexuality, Maru - Freeform, Non-canon world building, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Outdoor Sex, POV Original Character, POV Sebastian, Past Drug Addiction, Pelican Town - Freeform, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Realistic Depiction Of Depression, Realistic depiction of anxiety, Religion, Robin - Freeform, Sam - Freeform, Sex, Sex Addiction, Shane - Freeform, Smoking, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Violence, Wakes & Funerals, War, William Sticks his foot in the hornet's nest, mild breathplay, possibly badly expressed programming, war death, world building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2018-12-12 01:16:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 193,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11726481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracoangelica/pseuds/dracoangelica
Summary: When Sebastian has a one night stand in Zuzu City, he doesn't expect the man to move into Pelican Town. Now what was a private rendezvous is public knowledge for the whole community and his fairy tale memory has been ruined by the gossip mill of Pelican Town. Worse yet, the man he thought he knew is more complicated than he thought.William had no idea what he would be stepping into when he inherits his grandpa's broken down farm, nor that he'll have to face a past lover. Can he find peace of mind after the chaos of city life or will he re-make the same mistakes that broke him the last time.





	1. Eyeliner Drip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to what was supposed to be a _quick_ little writing project.
> 
> Instead...William Bauer was born, ready to seduce the fuck out of Sebastian.
> 
> This chapter contains drinking, violence, one-night stands, foul language, and unfortunate nicknames.
> 
> As this project is ongoing and my writing schedule is slightly batshit, there will be errors of the grammatical and proofreading variety because until October I didn't have a beta. Thank you for your perseverance and patience. Please enjoy.

_Zuzu City was a land of vice,_  William thought as he sipped watery beer from a pint glass.  _A city that slowly covered you with a drip-drip-drip of sludge and grey, one that wouldn’t allow you to feel a single shred of emotion, even if you bought and injected it yourself._  

He would know, having the track marks to prove it. Yet here he was, once again in the Mirage, looking for a partner that had something – anything – to make him care tonight. Someone who would be trying to connect too. Someone to keep him from reaching for the chemical that he’d quit two years ago. His eyes skimmed the men of the club and he took a long swallow of beer. No one he didn’t know. No one he hadn’t either had or rejected. Because this city, just like his entire life, was a soulless drip-drip-drip of apathy.

Just when he was about to approach an old fling, Thomas or Brian or Somefuck, he saw Chad in the corner and scowled. Because against the wall, definitely looking for an out, was some poor youngblood who didn’t look like he was from around this block.

It wasn’t his business, he told himself as he neared them. They were near the bathroom, William reasoned. He couldn’t help that Chad was picking a victim near the bathrooms. It wasn’t his fault that they were in his sightline. He wasn’t at all influenced by the low-key panic on the young man’s face. Nope. Not one bit.

The victim in question had dark hair and a black hoodie, his face clean-shaven and his back tense. Chad, the bastard, was looming over him, his right hand planted on the wall next to Youngblood’s head, a shit-eating grin on his smarmy face. William felt the three shots of jack in his belly giving him really good advice about how easy a kidney punch would be. He hated when that asshole cornered new guys, breathing on them all hot and sweaty, thinking just because he was a thick bastard that they had to take what he wanted to give. Dom? More like bomb. A ticking bomb of abuse pretending to be someone’s kink. Chad had a nose for vulnerable people, a nose for people who came into the city looking for adventure and wanted to pay them back with pain.

“You get in a fight again, Bill, and Julio is going to ban you,” Trixie, the pierced barmaid hissed. She was holding an empty tray and watching the interaction with worried eyes. William raised an eyebrow at the woman, all pink spiky Mohawk and fifty odd tattoos over her shoulders and neck, but didn’t bother answering. He didn’t tell good people to fuck off, and despite her fear, Trixie was good people. He rolled his head, swallowed the rest of the pisswater, and wiped his arm over his chin to get rid of the foam stuck to his beard. Then with a wink, he laid the empty glass on Trixie’s tray and finished his walk across the room, his steps solid.

As he got closer he could hear the trash Chad was spitting.

“—and you know, new guys like you are always welcome over at Chad’s booth. I’d pay you extra special attention, twinkie.”

William clamped a hand down on Chad’s shoulder and squeezed. Chad gasped and whipped around, eyes furious, then wary. Youngblood’s face was pale but relieved. He side-stepped, putting space between him and the confrontation.

“Evening Chad,” William said, hands at his side. “You bothering Julio’s customers?”

“Fuck off Bill.”

William ignored the curse and turned his head to check the new guy over. His eyes were striking, lined black, his hair half covering his smooth face. William nodded an acknowledgment to him and he was rewarded with flushed cheeks.

 _Well_.

“He bothering you?”

Most people might’ve missed it. If he hadn’t been tuned for it, hunting for his own partner tonight, he might not have noticed the attraction – the slight widening of eyes and relaxation of jaw muscles. But William’s instincts on a hookup were finely tuned. Could see the compulsive movement of the dark-eyed man’s Adam’s apple as he gave a reflexive swallow. Yup. He could turn this to his advantage.

“He’s with me, Chad.”

Chad gave back a laugh, full of scorn. “With you? The man looks like he has standards, not like he wants to be picking curly bear fur out of his bed for the next week. Fuck off Bill.”

William grabbed Chad by his collar and lifted him up, slamming him against the wall. Chad struggled but the movement had been too smooth, too unexpected for the wannabe tough guy. His tight pants, so nice on the dance floor, restricted his movements. His silk shirt was good quality and didn’t rip, instead acting as a good handhold while William dangled him. A few guys cursed and vacated the area. One man at the table stood up quickly, eyes wide at the display of strength.

“I’m done asking nice,” William told him, squeezing the fabric over Chad’s throat. The man choked and gagged, his flimsy hands on William’s thick wrists. “So let’s just try this the old-fashioned way. I’m a traditionalist.”

And with that William slammed a fist into the side of Chad’s head.

It was a satisfying sound, the sound of bone hitting flesh. Chad’s eyes rolled back and he stumbled, William letting him. Gasps and shouts sounded around him and he grinned, the fight making his blood hot.

“Damn it, William!” a voice shouted from the other side of the bar. The music stopped and patrons moved out of the way as a short and round man in bright colors came over with a bat. “How many god-damned times do I have to tell you to take that shit outside?”

William smirked and flipped Julio off. Fuck him and fuck his lack of bouncers. The bastard acted like men didn’t need help when jumped. God, he hated bullies. The fight had jumped his blood up, started to chase out the grey, colors starting to form around him. He turned and winked at the youngblood he’d just rescued and walked back towards his bar stool. But Julio, the fat little diva, wasn’t done with him.

The older man slammed a hand on William’s chest and glared up. He held a baseball bat in the other hand, a heavy cudgel meant to knock sense into drunken heads. Too bad he never used it to stop the predators that oozed out of the woodwork.

“Out,” Julio barked at him, pointing the bat at the door.

William raised a brow but the older man wasn’t playing games. The high of the fight was starting to fade, and after all, Julio would forgive him eventually. William nodded over at Trixie who had tried to warn him and pulled some gold out of his pocket. He dropped it on the table closest to him and nodded at Julio to cover his tab, then started towards the exit. Still, he decided as he stepped out and glanced back to see that the sexy young guy was following him, not a total bust tonight.

*

The entire outing had been an exercise of bad judgment. Sebastian’s drive into Zuzu City was supposed to be a short day trip for some tools for his bike. But the mechanic said he wouldn’t have a part until tomorrow and Sebastian had said ‘fuck it’, gotten a cheap hotel room, and had turned the day into a dream-walking fantasy quest. First, he’d looked at apartments, but after three hours felt the despair that nothing was affordable with what he was making at his new consulting job. It was late then when he’d seen the sign for the bar and realized with a certain amount of thrill that it wasn’t a regular pub like he had back home. This was a bar for gay men. It intrigued him. He’d heard of the gay scene before, of course. He was always online, always on forums and in chats. He’d spent money on cam-boys and had his own preferences of porn that featured these kinds of hookups.

But tonight would be the first time to see it in person. To be where the action was.

Normally this wasn’t Sebastian’s thing at all. Normally he’d rather just sit and wait and watch it come to him. People were, in a word, exhausting. But he was on an adventure, and normal was for back home.

The city was different than the small town he’d grown up in. At home, everyone was in your business and expected you to know and say and do things like everyone else. This? This was total anonymity. He’d been enjoying the solitude, content to just watch people, not willing to go out onto the dance floor and actually speak to anyone…when the slimy jerk had come to his table. He’d tried to escape him by retreating to the bathroom, only to get cornered.

And then? Bill.

The man had appeared like a golden hero, and Sebastian’s heart pounded when he saw him lift Chad up by his collar. His savior had muscles that bulged under a t-shirt. His fists were thick and scarred with old fights, and his body was cut with sharp definition. Tattoos peaked around his shoulders and arms. Sebastian could see some scars on the side of his neck and head – though if he hadn’t shaved the sides, it wouldn’t have been as noticeable.

He was like an avenging god, blue eyes with thick brows that furrowed and threatened.

When he followed him out into the street, Sebastian wasn’t sure what had gotten into him. His heart pounded. He wanted to thank him, he decided – but what to say?

Then the man paused and looked at him sideways.

“Looking for trouble?”

Was he? He hadn’t felt so alive in a long time, this spontaneous trip, the bar…and now a stranger in a dark alley. It was like he was a different person.

“I’m Sebastian,” he blurted, shoving his hands in the pocket of his black jacket. “Thanks…for that.”

The man looked him up and down, then nodded.

“William.”

William, not Bill. It fit him better, Sebastian decided. He swallowed, trying to think of what to say, what to offer, when William turned his head towards the street.

“You wants some coffee, Sebastian?”

He did. He nodded. William nodded back then turned.

“I know a place.”

Sebastian hesitated, then fell into step beside him. Whatever this was? He was ready to see where it led.

*

He was older than he looked, William decided as he held the door open for him. The diner was small and full of bright lights. It was Sebastian’s eyes that made him think that, because underneath the eyeliner he had shadows. Eyes that had seen more than they needed to. It eased something in his chest to know that. Even though he wanted him, he didn’t want to feel guilty for taking someone too young. Nothing fun about breaking a vulnerable heart.

“So,” William said after they ordered. “Haven’t seen you at Mirage before.”

Sebastian shrugged, leaning back against his booth seat, his hands buried in the pockets of his hoodie. “I hadn’t been there before. Just passing through.”

William watched him, admiring the way his jawline was sharp, the way his hair was styled, and when the coffee came he leaned forward. “You’re a good-looking guy,” he said without preamble. He sipped his coffee while Sebastian’s cheeks warmed, his long fingers wrapping around the thick mug.

“Thanks.” He sipped his coffee too, lowering his eyes.

William smirked. “Shy too. Fuck Chad. Assholes like that are always all over guys like you.”

Sebastian glared at him from under his shock of hair, the black curtain falling over one eye.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Guys like me?”

William met his eyes, then smirked again and shook his head. “Never mind.”

Sebastian smirked back. “Chicken shit.”

William’s grin faded and he leaned forward, his lips nearly touching Sebastian’s ear. “Guys in eyeliner. Makes me want to do things that would leave that liner streaking down your cheeks, babe.” He leaned back and enjoyed the breathless expression on Sebastian’s face. He coughed and rubbed the back of his neck. William felt himself getting hard thinking about it and didn’t speak while Sebastian swallowed down some of his own coffee.

“So is that what you were looking for tonight?” His voice was a bit hoarse, as if the image William put into his head had dried his throat out.

William cocked his head and made a bet with himself. 50% chance this guy was going to rabbit and he’d be going home alone – 50% chance that he’d give him a short-term break from the grey drip-drip-drip.

“Looking for something to break up the grey, Sebastian. Why? You wanna help me color up the night?”

Sebastian’s brow narrowed. “Will it make my eyeliner run?” The amusement was barely detected, layered with disbelief, as if the challenge was more than he could believe.

William never dropped his gaze, and his own voice getting rough said, “Yeah, I think I could manage that.”

There was a moment of weighing the options, then Sebastian’s eyes fell onto the reddened skin on William’s knuckles. Something there seemed to decide for him, and he dared meet his gaze again.

“Then let’s get out of here.”

*

Sebastian didn’t know what he had been thinking when he walked into the apartment building. There was nothing like this back at Pelican Town. His mind raced. This was so different than every previous hookup…hurried hand jobs or drunken make-out sessions with guys who later insisted they were straight. They passed walls that were marked with graffiti, mystery stains on faded carpet in the hall. He felt high, he realized, on the thrill and danger of this all. The man next to him was bigger than he was. He didn’t know him. Was he really going to live out this fantasy? With a real breathing human?

He’d shot a quick text to Sam as he’d stepped out with William, a location that he was going to with a warning to come check on him if he didn’t text back in the morning. Sam, asshole that he was, just sent thumbs up and eggplant emojis. Crude bastard.

Yet as soon as they came into William’s darkened apartment, he couldn’t help the flutter of nervousness.

“You okay?” William asked him, holding the door open.

Sebastian looked up into the blue eyes of his soon-to-be one night stand and then nodded, pretending confidence he didn’t feel. Fake it until you make it, right?

He stepped into the small hall and without much warning, William had him against the wall, his thicker arms holding him still as he began to kiss up Sebastian’s neck. He gasped, closing his eyes. He’d expected the beard to be scratchy…itchy even, but William’s chin was soft and the sensation of it on his neck made him pant.

“I’m clean,” William told him. “Got condoms too. You?”

The question scrambled Sebastian’s brain as he tried to remember the last time he was with a physical person, not just his fist and a computer screen. “Clean too,” he gasped, feeling William’s hands rub down his shoulders and back…then the thumbs underneath his hoodie.

William stripped him that way, slowly, exploring him with his mouth and hands, stripping him of his hoodie and shirt, his tongue and mouth working a trail down his collar and shoulder.

“That feel good, Sebastian?”

Sebastian groaned, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the door.

“More,” he groaned. “I need more.”

“Yeah, I bet you do,” William groaned, roaming his hands over Sebastian’s chest. “C’mon.”

Sebastian felt William’s hand on his and then followed him into another room, a small closet with a precisely made bed. He sat and looked up. There was a window on the side of the room, the streetlights and billboards the only illumination in the apartment.

William loomed over him and pulled off his t-shirt, tattoos barely hinted out as shadowy pictures on his pale skin. Sebastian swallowed and reached down, pulling off his shoes as William pulled his belt off, tossing it to the side. His heart began to beat faster as his partner dropped trousers and then let out a small swallow when he saw the bulge in William’s shorts, simple black shorts that outlined narrow hips and muscles…and scars.

Before he could think too much about it, William was on him, pinning him underneath, his mouth on his shoulders again.

Sebastian realized with a bit of relief that William hadn’t kissed his mouth. He wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t think he wanted him to. That would have changed this somehow. He groaned as William’s hand reached down and pulled him out, his fingers gentle as he worked his cock hard. It wasn’t difficult. He was already feeling his heart slam into his chest as the bigger man’s fingers rubbed and pulled his flesh.

“That feel good?”

Sebastian realized he’d been quiet, so used to keeping his moans quiet at home when he got off.

“Yeah,” he panted, biting his lip as William’s fist let him go. Then he arched, another cock rubbing against his now.

“Hey, look at me, Sebastian,” William said, nipping his ear and then pulling his head back to stare down into his eyes as he pumped their cocks together, matching the stroke. Sebastian couldn’t help it, he reached down and put his fist with Williams, then slid his hand over to the other man’s hip. William groaned, rubbing harder.

“You got oil?” Sebastian panted. William nodded, his eyes locked on Sebastian’s as they rubbed. A grin spread on his face and he leaned close.

“You wanna take it?”

Sebastian’s cock jerked at the intimate question. He swallowed and felt sweat break out on his forehead. It was surreal, this moment. If he thought about it too hard he might back out, but before he could change his mind, he felt William’s other hand lifting his hips and arched as his thumb rubbed his puckered hole.

“Oh holy shit,” he cursed, panting.

“Yeah,” William growled, “yeah, you want it.” There was a moment where their rubbing paused and Sebastian caught his breath, looking up at William’s broad chest, covered in tattoos too intricate to decipher in the dim room. William reached into a drawer near the bed and Sebastian swallowed as he looked up at the broad chest. He closed his eyes, feeling nervous again, but closing his eyes just made the pounding in his chest louder. He could hear the tell-tale squirt and then the tear of a wrapper with William’s teeth. He took a deep breath and wondered if just maybe…he’d gone too far.

*

William wanted to drive into the man underneath him so badly, but that would ruin it. He wanted it to be good, this night. He needed it to be good; needed to have the knowledge that they were both satisfied to get that high he was chasing. He had to keep his brain on the task at hand or he was likely to blow his load all over Sebastian’s chest. And he wasn’t ready for that yet.

Though.

The image of Sebastian sweating and messy with his cum didn’t do a lot to keep him from wanting to stop.

Hot man? Check.

Willing body? Double check.

But it was his responses to touch that was driving William to distraction. Each moan was like a burst of color against the gray of his day. Each move, each toss of his head was like a paintbrush, a firework of brightness against that gray. Against the cold. Around them, it was all around them, but William had the cure right here in his bed, if he could just work them to exhaustion, tomorrow wouldn’t be such a hard day.

He coated his fingers in oil, and then with gentle pressure began to work them in, preparing his partner. His lover’s body was tight, but after a few soothing movements he felt him relax. Soon instead of the stiff hips and whimpers, Sebastian began to moan, the sound musical to William’s hungry ears, then with each move Sebastian writhed, eagerly taking the invasion. William felt himself sweating, could feel his heart pounding but he didn’t care. With each delve, with each exploratory thrust, the man underneath him cried out, and soon tears of pleasure were streaming. William took the chance. He removed his slick fingers and set himself close, his rock hard, latex-covered cock pressing against Sebastian’s entrance and then leaned down, sucking on his ear as he held his knees high, before thrusting in.

“Stroke yourself,” he growled, working himself in. Sebastian’s eyeliner was streaked now, but his arm shot down and he worked it. William adjusted, propping himself up over him, a hand down cupping his chin.

Sebastian stared up at him, panting, and William stared down, his cock plowing them closer and closer. Then, in a move that shook him down to his bones, Sebastian leaned his head up and pressed his lips against William’s. He groaned and let the kiss happen. He crushed Sebastian against him, opening his mouth, letting him in, tongues mingling. For a precious moment, he could touch it…happiness.

With a spasm, he felt hot seed hit his chest as his balls seized up and then poured the same thing out into Sebastian.

He pulled back but kept Sebastian’s head pressed against his. Sebastian’s previously perfectly styled hair was a stringy mess against his pillow. He gasped and reached up, wrapping his arms around William’s neck. William slipped his cock out, and with a practiced movement removed the condom and tied it off, tossing it into a basket near the bed. Sebastian had little spasms and sputters running through his body as he straightened his legs.

It was starting to fade, the color, and with a panicked swallow, William pulled him close, clinging. Sebastian chuckled and in that dark nest, with no light to reveal the truth that they were two sweaty strangers just in a bed, he turned into his chest.

William relaxed, inch by inch and then, finally, sleep came.

*

Sebastian woke up feeling delicious and sore. He inhaled, smelling…stale sweat and sex-stained sheets. He blinked bleary eyes and reached up to rub them. They came back smeared and he chuckled, remembering William’s throaty promise. He looked down and saw that William’s arm was over him, tattoos fading down his elbow. He swallowed, suddenly hitting a spike of anxiety. He had really fucking done it. He’d gone to a gay bar and gone home with a stranger. Sweat of a different kind broke out over his forehead. It had been cataclysmic, the sex. He’d fucked himself with toys before, trying to get the feeling of it…but it had been so different with another person. He shivered, remembering the feeling of William’s hand on his chin as he took him, the feeling of safety and belonging.

“Hmmm.”

Sebastian felt William loosen his arm, and with a wriggle, he got out of bed and found his boxers in the tangle of clothes on the floor.

“Hey,” William said from the bed, eyes still closed. Sebastian turned to look at him and realized that maybe that was a bad idea.

Awake, William was a composed mountain of a man, calm eyes and sexy shoulders. Asleep, he was heartbreaking. His hair, previously gelled into a spiky strip over shaved sides had dropped into thick strands that fell around his head. His beard had been combed and trimmed last night. First thing in the morning, he was ruddy-faced with beard strands poking every which way. It was endearing and unexpected.

“Hey,” Sebastian said back, a bit nervous. William opened his eyes and he felt pierced by their blue gaze. For a moment, they were both still. Then William rolled over, pressing his palms against his face. Sebastian buckled his jeans and found his shirt, pulling it on.

“Morning. Where did you say you were staying?”

Sebastian shrugged, pulling his hoodie on and looking around the apartment. It was Spartan, bare. There was a sink but it was clean of dishes. No real kitchen to speak of. Just a toaster oven on a table next to a microwave with a box of pantry goods. No refrigerator. It looked like the dumps that he’d seen when he was apartment hunting yesterday.

“Um, not staying. Just passing through, actually.”

William sat up and Sebastian swallowed. He really was stacked, and it was hard to remember how they’d fit together the night before.

William stood and stretched and Sebastian turned his face away, embarrassed at how bold he was.

“Coffee?”

Sebastian opened his mouth to say, ‘yes, actually coffee would be amazing,’ when his phone vibrated in his jeans. He looked down and clicked the text. It was the automatic notification from the parts place that he’d come into town for in the first place. A polite query for signs of life from Sam was behind it. He shot off a ‘thumbs up’ to Sam and then looked up.

“Actually, I gotta go,” he said, feeling regret.

William had put a pair of sweatpants on and was fiddling with a small pot. He turned, then nodded as if he wasn’t bothered.

Of course, he wouldn’t be, Sebastian reasoned as he stood up. After all, he probably did this sort of thing all the time.

“Hey,” William said, reaching out one hand and catching his shoulder before Sebastian could slip towards the door. “Last night? That was fun. If you’re in Zuzu again, look me up.”

Sebastian blinked at the invite and blushed. “You…you had a good time?”

William gave him a sexy grin. “Yeah. And uh, Sebastian? Your eyeliner is smeared.”

  
  


 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 3rd version of this chapter as of November 09, 2017.  
> I recently got some betas for this project (Thank You Ginger, you are the best!) and have been going back as I have time over the chapters and fixing as I can.
> 
> I posted the first 15 chapters daily during the beginning of this fic so quality suffered due to quantity. However, we're still rocking along and I appreciate all the love and support!
> 
> Even though this project is long and months old, every comment, kudo, bookmark, and recommendation still encourages me. Feedback is food for this lil' author so if you like it, I don't know unless you tell me. ;)
> 
> You can always hit me up at Tumblr and leave an ask! I'm very social and love to talk. 
> 
> Enjoy the rest! <3


	2. Melting Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a funeral, cigarette smoking, self-loathing, parental support, and the urge to say 'Fuck This Shit I'm Out'.

Later, William would remember that night as the best night he’d had for a long time. Because after Sebastian left and after the coffee was drunk and after the sheets were changed with military precision and the floor was swept and the trash was taken out, William checked the mail.

And found out his Pops had died.

*

It was a dreary day with a light, misting rain. Clouds of cigarette smoke hovered under the big pavilion that the funeral home had erected over the gravesite. Almost all the family had left, but his dad had lingered and William couldn’t leave him alone. They didn’t speak, but that wasn’t necessary. He’d always understood his dad without words, something that drove his mother to exasperation. He’d been the first one he’d come out to, expecting rejection. Only his dad had looked at the dirty magazine with ripped and toned men instead of sexy ladies and shrugged.

“Whatever rings your bell, boy.” And that was that.

Today the words were tight, and William jonesed, just a bit, for a high to take away the pain of loss. His dad seemed to sense it, and without much of a movement shifted an extra cigarette over. William took a quick glance around for his mom and accepted it, lighting it off his dad’s dying smoke.

“He always wanted more than one grandchild,” his dad said with a sigh. “But me and your mom were the only ones who’d had kids.”

William exhaled a cloud of smoke, relaxing, then tensed all over again as he looked down at the fresh grave, Grandpa Joe’s name and year on it. It was next to his Grandma’s resting place; the cemetery a peaceful park near the center of the city.

“He still has that farm out in Stardew Valley, you know.” His dad’s lighter flicked and William tracked the cherry on the end. He could pretend that the burning in his eyes was from smoke instead of emotion. Inhale pain. Exhale pain.

“Gonna sell it?”

His dad shook his head. “Nah. Can’t. He deeded it to someone but his estate manager, the attorney, won’t tell me who got it.”

William nodded, eyes still locked on the grave. His Pops was gone.

That look gutted him. Before, all of their silences made sense. But now there was emptiness in it. And it made it real, how short all this was. How meaningless his own existence felt right now. How much he was going to miss his Dad one day. He inhaled and exhaled smoke, unsure he’d manage to be even half the man his dad was by the time David Bauer took his own dirtnap.

Not to mention how much it sucked that Pops was gone. Pops had always understood him. William vaguely remembered a few years ago after checking into rehab that his Pops had simultaneously been checked into the nursing home. He’d gotten some letters about it, jokes about how they were both being put away by the family. But when he’d finally gotten clean enough to visit, the old man didn’t recognize him. Didn’t even know his name.

His left arm ached in an echo of past highs. His old dealer’s face flashed for a moment and he squashed the urge.

He needed a fuck or something. He hit the cigarette instead and it didn’t help.

*

The reception after the funeral was terrible. The food was cold, the talk stilted, and he and his dad were like two puppets around his extended family. Everyone had a word about how great Pops had been as a person, about what a giving member of the community he was. Bullshit. Pops had hated most of the city after Grandma died and had fucked off to his farm where he could be away from these fake people. It was understandable, he reflected, sitting on the funeral home couch and watching the vultures circle. His vicious aunt and her beady-eyed husband kept sharking around his dad, asking pointed questions about what would happen to the company. What would happen to Joe’s car? Had they determined what would happen to the land? Had Joe kept any of his wife’s jewelry?

One smart thing Pops had done, William reflected as he scowled at the old biddy, was to make sure a decision like that was outside the hands of anyone in their money-grubbing family. In a moment of diplomacy that he figured he owed his mom, he stepped outside, intending to light up another cigarette. But his mom followed, snatching the lighter out of his hand.

“I could kill your father for starting you back up on that nasty habit,” she snapped, tossing the small bic in her purse. William groaned but didn’t argue with her. She looked strained enough. She and Dad had been completely responsible for all of Pop’s senior care. He knew that she’d loved him, her own parents having gone before he was ten.

“Well,” she said, hugging herself on the back patio. “At least he’s at peace.”

Peace. He was dead. Sure, that was peace if that’s what she meant. William didn’t bother to agree with her, instead just opening an arm and wrapping it around her. His mom was small, a foil to her beefsteak husband and son. He leaned down and smelled her hair as she leaned into him. It was nice, gardenia or something.

“You and Dad did the best you could, Ma,” he said, giving her a squeeze. She shivered, and then for the first time that week began to cry into his shoulder. William closed his eyes and held her, letting his bulk shield her from the eyes of her vulture in-laws.

No cousins on his dad’s side. No grandchildren but him, the drug-addicted war vet with bloody hands. Some legacy for his grandfather to have. It wasn’t good enough for the old man.

“He loved you, Will,” his mom whispered, after she’d gotten over the worst of her tears. He reached into his back pocket and handed her a handkerchief. She gave a cough and laugh when she took it, wiping her face. “Your father carries these too, you know?”

“Yup,” William said, rubbing her back. “Pops did too.”

“You’re a lot like him, son,” she whispered, blowing her nose and folding the cotton. “He’d be really proud of you.”

William snorted. “Proud of what? Proud that I do data entry in the basement of Joja? Proud that I’m living in that shithole on Southside? Just because you’re sad, doesn’t mean you gotta lie Ma.”

She slapped his shoulder. “Language, William, goodness sakes.”

He smiled at her, knowing if she had the energy to scowl, she’d have the energy to get her footing back. Then he sighed, craving that cigarette that she’d taken away.

“Your grandpa left this for you,” she said, handing him a creamy envelope. He swallowed but cocked his head at the note scribbled on the outside: ‘Open When Despair Knocks’.

“Melodramatic,” he said, slipping it into his coat. It was cool and the paper was dry. His mom shook her head.

“That was Pops. Always a bit mysterious. Save it for a rainy day.”

“Promise, Ma.”

“Promise you’ll quit smoking,” she ordered, pulling a compact out and checking her face. He grinned at her then, unable to help it. If she was scolding and ordering then she definitely would be okay.

“Promise, Ma.”

“Promise you’ll find someone nice and bring them home so I don’t have zero grandchildren.”

He coughed.

“Sort of hard to promise that, Ma.”

She rolled her eyes and snapped the compact shut. “Don’t be naïve William, you and your future husband can adopt. But I mean it.” She turned her head and looked back at the gathering. “Life is too short to waste. Make use of yours.”

*

Her words haunted him all the next week.

As he stepped into work and squeezed into his tiny cube, he stared at the numbers that skimmed on his screen. Shipping orders for Joja contracts. He was supposed to enter them into the back-up servers in case of a data loss.

It was boring and terrible and left too much time to think.

Friday night he went back to Mirage, but Julio was still pissed off and he couldn’t get in.

Still, Trixie met him at the back door.

“That um, guy I left with last week,” he said, handing her his last pack of cigarettes for her break. “You haven’t seen him around, have you?”

She shook her head, slipping it back into her back pocket.

“No, Bill. Sorry. Want me to call you if he comes by?”

William hesitated, then smirked. “Nah girl. Greener pastures and more fish in the sea, right?”

She beamed at him and he headed out to another bar, Masquerade. It was a campier place, more floral than he usually liked. He tried to hook up with another guy in the bathroom but before they could get down to business, the man’s cell rang and his face fell.

“Jeez, sorry man. That’s my wife. I’ll see you later.”

And just like that. The Grey dripped back in.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

William went home alone to a house with no one. With nothing important.

It would be a lie to say he didn’t think about eating a bullet that night. He’d been out of support groups for six months and never felt this spiral before. Yet, his mom had asked him to bring someone nice home. He closed his eyes, laying on his bed, and for a moment all he could see was Sebastian’s face, eyeliner streaking…heartbeats and breathing matching his own…

He opened his eyes and cursed.

300 pushups later, William was exhausted enough to stay clean and to sleep.

*

Work bled into grey. The days were grey. The ride was grey. The clack of keyboards and the numbers scrolling on the screen were grey.

The only thing he focused on that day was finishing the pile of shreds. He had to enter the date and shred the pile. He had a good clip going that afternoon and with a tiny plan of hope he realized, maybe he’d get out a few minute early. It was enough of something to look forward to that he picked up speed on his entry. 50 pages of entries turned into 30 and then 10.

The break came then.

He had four pages left. Four more pages to enter, and he could step out an entire thirty minutes early. He could get to the bus first, not miss it like the last three days. It was close to raining and if he could go home dry…

Then Donna dropped 400 new pages into his basket. He froze in place. He leaned back, pulled his hair and groaned.

He slammed his fist on the desk, scaring the four people around him, eyes wide at his sudden outburst. His supervisor looked up over and scowled. William clenched his fists then opened his drawer, intending to grab his lunch box and to get the hell out anyway, to just walk out for the day…when he put his hand in his pocket. The letter mom had given him.

It was the letter from Pops.

Despair? That asshole was pounding at the door today. His heart began to pound and he swallowed, tears rising up.

He opened it, heedless of the fact that he was supposed to be on Joja’s clock.

“My Dear William.” William’s eyes began to burn. “If you’re reading this, you must be in dire need of a change. The same thing happened to me, long ago. I’d lost sight of what mattered most in life… real connection with other people and nature. So I dropped everything and moved to the place I truly belonged.”

William scrubbed his eyes and then flipped it over.

The deed to Cloudburst Farm, his property, and enough seed money for a new fucking start.

His Pops had known. His Pops had left it to him. The fuck if he was going to waste one more moment.

William quit that day.

  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated this chapter with some line edits on August 26th.
> 
> This is the 3rd version of this chapter as of November 09, 2017.  
> I recently got some betas for this project (Thank You Ginger, you are the best!) and have been going back as I have time over the chapters and fixing as I can.
> 
> I posted the first 15 chapters daily during the beginning of this fic so quality suffered due to quantity. However, we're still rocking along and I appreciate all the love and support!
> 
> Even though this project is long and months old, every comment, kudo, bookmark, and recommendation still encourages me. Feedback is food for this lil' author so if you like it, I don't know unless you tell me. ;)
> 
> You can always hit me up at Tumblr and leave an ask! I'm very social and love to talk. 
> 
> Enjoy the rest! <3


	3. Shrunken Sweater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian gets home. After all, what happens in Zuzu City stays in Zuzu City.  
> ...Right?

It was mid-afternoon when Sebastian rode his bike back into Stardew Valley. The motorcycle part that he’d gotten in the city was perfect. It upgraded the horsepower and the new stabilizers made the ride home smooth. His encounter in the city? Magical. His night felt like it had been scripted out of his fantasies, the best ones that he could sink himself into for hours while waiting for code to compile.

Yet as he neared his home he almost questioned if it had really happened at all. Coming home was like putting on a sweater that had shrunk in the wash.

He parked his bike and shivered, his body still sore, almost as if it was trying to reinforce that not only had he had one of the best and most intimate nights of his life with another man, but that it was something only he knew about. He locked down his helmet and pulled his saddle bag over his shoulder. His stepdad was in the lab when he came in, his dark face knit in concentration, eyes skimming over a tablet with squiggles and graphs.

“Hey Demetrius,” he said, quietly closing the door.

“Welcome back,” he said, distracted, looking between his tablet and the vials of different colored liquid on the table. Sebastian didn’t wait around for more. He and Demetrius tolerated each other out of mutual respect for his mom, but weren’t in the habit of pretending that it was more than toleration.

He was almost to the stairs of his basement when Robin caught sight of him.

“Sebby!”

Busted.

He rolled his eyes and turned, face neutral. She was covered in sawdust from the workshop and grinning, ear to ear.

“You’re home!”

He nodded, shifting the bag. She gave him a dusty hug and he awkwardly patted her back, hoping she didn’t smell anything weird on him.

“Did you get your part?”

He nodded again and jerked a thumb towards the back.“Yup. She runs like a dream now.”

His mom chuckled. “One of these days you’ll get a real girlfriend instead of that bike.” She turned, then paused. “Oh! And Maru got accepted into the remote program at Zuzu University! Isn’t that great?”

His step-sister, Maru, only three years younger than he was, was of course a young genius. Unlike him. He’d been to university for one semester before becoming dissatisfied with the requirements and barriers to what he’d really wanted to do. So, like any entrepreneur loser, he’d moved back into his mom’s basement and started his consulting business. Demetrius had bitched about his dropout for three months before he’d slammed his first paycheck – twice of what they’d spent in shitty college tuition for a semester – down on the kitchen table and ended that nonsense.

“Good for her,” he said, feeling exhausted all over again. The bike had, unsurprisingly, not made his body any less sore after his extracurricular activities. “I’m tired. Didn’t get much sleep in the uh, unfamiliar city. Night.”

Robin gave a tight smile, swallowing her disappointment that he wasn’t going to join the rest of them for dinner. At least she didn’t point out that it was only four o’clock and not anywhere close to night. He felt the pinprick of guilt, but the overwhelming need to shower and bury himself in his bed was stronger than his desire to please his mom. He slipped into his sanctuary of cool darkness and dropped his stuff on his couch.

*

Hours later, Sebastian woke up out of habit at nine pm. He scowled and rolled over in bed, laying his arm over his eyes. William’s shadowy face was etched behind his eyelids.

_Look at me, Sebastian….You wanna take it?_

He squeezed his lids and bit his lip, his cock growing hard just remembering the way William had touched him. William’s hands had been more perfect than he’d dared to imagine them. All his other encounters, hurried mutual hand jobs behind the school bleachers…the one disastrous time he’d tried to kiss Sam…the uncomfortable loss of his virginity in college…none of them compared in intensity to what he’d experienced last night.

It was only last night.

And he hadn’t even gotten William’s number.

Sebastian grit his teeth and rolled out of bed, marching into the shower and turning the water on cold. He wasn’t going to play spank bank memory games with himself tonight. After all, what happened in Zuzu City, stayed in Zuzu. He was home and had a ton of work to get back to – work that would eventually pay for an overpriced apartment. Then, he mused as he dried his hair and brushed it back to his preferred style, he could afford to return to the Mirage and be the one to buy William’s drink.

The thought was enough to calm his racing pulse; that maybe he could go back, go back as more than a weakling who needed help against some creep. Maybe when he went back, he’d actually impress William. Yeah. That was the plan.

Refreshed, he turned on his compilers and began to work. If he was awake, he might as well get some progress on the newest contracts.

*

It was three weeks later and Sebastian knew one thing for certain.

He didn’t want to go to the bar.

He wanted to stay in his room and finish the last of the project changes on the new contract he had gotten last week. But changing Sam’s mind would have taken more than logical and practical reasoning. To stay home would mean his best friend lounging on his basement couch and singing about all the fun they were supposed to be having while bouncing something noisy off the ceiling. If he was doubly unfortunate, Abigail would join them and no work would get done at all.

So, despite his new goals, his nicely laid plans just waiting for his finances to catch the hell up with them, he was stuck on a Friday night in the Stardrop Saloon – as far away from the thumping Mirage as a wooden broom was from a solar powered vacuum. He closed his eyes as someone put the same song on the jukebox for the third time that hour.

“—I said are you even listening?”

He glanced up, guilty. Sam, his best friend since his mom had moved him into the purgatory that was Pelican Town, was glaring at him. Abigail giggled on the couch in the lounge. They both shot her a glance and snorted at her amusement.

“Sorry man, what?” Sebastian asked.

Sam rolled his eyes and nudged him.

“I SAID, you dumbass, that the new farmer is staring at you.”

Sebastian turned to look where Sam had jerked his head, but Sam got in front of him before he could get a look.

“DUDE. Don’t just look, jeez.”

The urge to crack the pool stick over Sam’s head was strong, but due to his own logical and practical nature, he resisted.

“You’re crazy. What new farmer?” He tried to turn his body sideways but Sam was blocking his view.

Abigail bounced off the couch, suddenly enthusiastic.

“You didn’t hear??? Jeez, it’s all Dad can talk about.” She hopped onto the pool table her eyes sparkling.

Sam nudged him. “Dude, c’mon, he’s had to have been by your Mom’s shop. She’s the only carpenter for like, sixty miles.”

Sebastian shrugged. “Been working a lot. Why is he looking over here?”

Abigail rolled her eyes. “Who knows why Sasquatch does anything? He’s been coming into Dad’s to get seeds, and sweet guts, that beard. You’d think that we didn’t have razors.”

Sebastian frowned. “Nothing wrong with beards.”

She snorted and he took the moment of distraction to lean past Sam.

And dropped his pool stick.

Because sitting at the bar, drinking a pint of Gus’s finest was William, his one night stand from a month ago.

  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I did not have a beta for this fic when I first began it and periodically will fix small typos and sentence fragments when I have time. Some light editing was done on 09/14/2017.
> 
> 2nd Note:  
> This is the 3rd version of this chapter as of November 09, 2017.  
> I recently got some betas for this project (Thank You Ginger, you are the best!) and have been going back as I have time over the chapters and fixing as I can.
> 
> I posted the first 15 chapters daily during the beginning of this fic so quality suffered due to quantity. However, we're still rocking along and I appreciate all the love and support!
> 
> Even though this project is long and months old, every comment, kudo, bookmark, and recommendation still encourages me. Feedback is food for this lil' author so if you like it, I don't know unless you tell me. ;)
> 
> You can always hit me up at Tumblr and leave an ask! I'm very social and love to talk. 
> 
> Enjoy the rest! <3


	4. Water under the Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which what happened in Zuzu city waltzes over and makes girlfriend jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recommend Adele's "Water Under the Bridge" when reading this chapter.

The last week had been a blur, but a good one – like when you got on a merry-go-round at the park and your buddy spun you too fast.

It hadn’t been hard to clear out of his apartment, and his parents had enthusiastically bought his bus ticket, thrilled the farm was going to stay in the family instead of sold off to pay possible debts. William had spent the last week in a frenzy of work and exploration of the big plot of land. He’d been a kid when he and his dad visited, but after joining the army out of high school he’d not been back in almost ten years. Now, here he was, twenty-eight and finally feeling like he was truly on his own.

That morning when he walked into the general store, Pierre had mentioned that Gus was in dire need of some of the parsnips he’d just managed to coax out of the ground. Shrugging and figuring that it was always better to be friends with the closest source of intoxication, he’d washed up and changed into a clean shirt, figuring he’d try and trade veggies for liquid bread.

The Stardrop Saloon was quaint and homey, so different than the industrial holes he usually sharked for partners in. William skimmed the clientele when he stepped in, nodding at Robin, the carpenter who’d been part of Mayor Lewis’s welcoming committee, then turning his attention to the bar.

Gus, a good and upstanding-looking fellow grinned a toothy smile when he saw the dozen parsnips he presented.

“A present and a greeting, my good sir,” William said, planting the box down between them on the bar.

Gus rubbed his hands together. “Well,” he breathed, picking one and squeezing it gently. It wasn’t huge, just about hand’s length. “This is perfect, m’boy. Alright. Excellent. I’ll buy the box.”

William waved a hand. “Nah, just put it on a tab and let me drink off of it. We’ll even up just fine that way.”

Gus huffed with pleasure and nodded. “Emily, get my favorite farmer some of that pale ale I’ve got on the top shelf. Welcome to Pelican Town…” He hesitated.

“William,” he supplied.

“Too long. You go by Bill?”

William chuckled and accepted the drink, then turned his head and began to look around. He frowned, a face skimming past his view. He rubbed his eyes, a bit confused. No way he’d just seen…but there he was, jaw open and eyes wide, sans eye-liner: Sebastian.

The last man he’d been with…who was still living and breathing in his nightly fantasies.

Self-consciously, William glanced over at the mirror behind Gus. He closed his eyes and let out a breath.

The sides of his head were in need of a touch-up shave. His shirt was long-sleeved and fresh and, thank Yoba, he’d taken a shower to get most of the farm off of his body, but the errand to the pub had just been to get the lay of the land. Shit, he hadn’t even put on cologne. _Sloppy_ , he chided himself. He took another breath to control his pounding heart and glanced back towards where the man stood. Eyes wide, Sebastian fumbled with his pool stick and spun around, giving William his back.

William frowned, and used the mirror to get the lay of the land. Sebastian’s weirdness had been noticed. Lewis, the mayor raised an eyebrow at him and Marnie, William’s southern neighbor – who’d dropped off a scraggly kitten the other day – was chuckling into her beer. Demetrius nodded over at his wife towards the bar.

Well. Wasn’t this a small town.

He took a long draw on his ale and tapped the bar. “Another, Em? If you please doll?”

She giggled, then poured him another, handing it over with a big smile before turning back to wash the empty. William tried to wait, figuring Sebastian would come over, but after more avoidance, he rolled his eyes. No time like the present to face a problem head-on.

He stood up and took himself and his ale to the game room at the back of the pub, where an ancient Arcade cabinet sat next to a couch covered in duct tape patches. There was only one pool table but it was in good shape with minimum rubbing on the felt. The balls were in less pristine condition, looking like they’d been wacked around for decades. He nodded at the others there – a girl in black and a blonde guy, both of whom were staring at him like he was an alien – then ignored them as he approached. Sebastian had his back to him, his body leaned against the pool table, eyes locked on the wall. William stepped in front of his vision then casually leaned against the wall, crossing an ankle and sticking a hand in his pocket.

“Hey Sebastian,” he said, using his beer to hide the expression on his face.

Sebastian shut his eyes then slowly opened them, his shoulders hunched at his name.

He looked younger today than he had the last time he’d seen him. Less confident. His hair was limper, as if it hadn’t been washed in a couple of days, falling heavier on the left side of his face. He swallowed then stuck one hand into his hoodie, the other still clinging to the pool stick.

“William. Didn’t uh, didn’t think I’d see you in a place like this.”

William cocked his head at him. If body language were a neon sign, Sebastian’s would be saying, “Dear Earth, Please Eat Me Right Now.”

The silence between them stretched until Sebastian shot a pleading look at the man next to him. William frowned.

“Hey Man,” the guy said, immediately offering a hand out. “I’m Sam. That’s Abigail.” He nodded back to the purple-haired girl wearing a choker and low-cut black t-shirt. She was edgy for this small town, but didn’t have tattoos or piercings. He held his hand out and nodded.

“Hey. I’m William.”

He raised an eyebrow at Sebastian but the guy’s face was tighter than a clam’s ass at high tide. The hand holding the pool stick had white knuckles. William finally dropped his gaze to his ale.

So.

It was going to be like that.

He glanced curiously at the three of them.

“So Abigail,” he said, testing the waters. “You and Sam…? Y’all dating?”

Sam barked out a laugh and Abigail’s face turned red. That got an expression; a glare at him. Good. Anger was at least a shared feeling. William had spent too many months of stationary drills to let his own feeling show right now. So Sebastian wanted them to be just ho-hum acquaintances? Sure. Because he came to the stars with all his acquaintances. He took a long swallow of beer, a particularly good microbrew that Gus had made last season – better than the pisswater Julio served. Too bad the guys weren’t what he thought they were.

“Naw man,” Sam chuckled. “Just friends.”

William nodded, and when he spoke his tone was light but his words were sharp. “Ah. Sorry Sebastian, didn’t mean to get your girlfriend mixed up.”

Pay dirt.

Sebastian slammed his pool stick down on the table and started to speed-walk towards the exit. Abigail and Sam’s laughter died and they both looked at each other uncomfortably. They stared at William. He raised an eyebrow.

“Guess he was ready to go.”

Sebastian was in the fucking closet. Welp. There went _that_ particular hope that he had no right to nurture.  _Goodbye little dream. Enjoy your bullet._

“Right,” Abigail said, after another moment of awkward and painful silence. “Well, Um. Sam. Wanna go to your place?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, skirting around William like he was a bomb. William leaned against the pool table as they left then turned back towards the bar. He put down his empty and crooked a finger at Emily.

“Em. Shot of whisky please. Neat.”

*

Sebastian sped-walked toward the mountain road that was going to take him home, knowing he looked freaked out. Everyone had seen. Everyone had been staring and had Seen William talking to him. And William, just as gorgeous and powerful as he’d remembered, had Looked at him, looked at him with absolute recall. And for a moment, just a second he  _remembered_ too – could feel himself getting fucking hard with the memory, while standing next to Sam of all the people. His look, his eyes, pinning him in place, as if drawing out everything they’d done together. The walls had started to close in and then…instead of that perfect gentleman who had punched out a creep for him…William had begun to make fucking girlfriend jokes with Abigail.

As if he hadn’t had to avoid those rumors for the last six years. As if his mom wasn’t always asking why he didn’t just Ask Abby Out Already.

He reached up and scrubbed his hand through his hair, his feet taking him home. The road was so familiar here, he barely needed to look where he was going.

“Yo! Seb!”

He closed his eyes tightly.

Fuck.  _FUCK._

Sam and Abigail caught up to him, both running as fast as they could.

Before he could think – all logic centers scrambled at control-panel Sebastian – he snapped. “Did he tell you?”

Silence.

What did that mean?

He whipped around, eyes wide, and looked at them both.

“Did he TELL you?”

Abigail took a step back, her face hard to read in the dark of the woods.

“Seb, jeez. Tell us what?”

He pulled on his hair.

Sam stepped up, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Dude, haven’t ever seen you this upset. Calm down.”

Calming down seemed like an excellent fucking idea. Sebastian pulled his pack of smokes out of his pocket and within a few seconds had one lit and took a long drag. They both fell into step beside him as he turned to keep walking towards home. Abigail threw her hands up.

“You’re acting weird Seb! Wanna clue us in why Sasquatch made you run off?”

Sam was watching him and suddenly got it, sucking in a breath. “Oh shit.”

Abigail groaned, throwing her head back. “Well fuck, now Sam has figured it out and I haven’t. Um, guys?”

Sam waved a hand at her. “Shut up Abby, just shut up. Seb, it wasn’t him, was it?”

He felt like he’d been gut-punched. He took another drag of his cigarette.“The whole fucking town knows now, don’t they?”

“Knows what?!”

Sebastian whipped around and yelled, “That I’m GAY Abigail, fuck!”

She stopped, his announcement freezing her in place.

“Dude, relax. Hey, Seb!” Sam snagged his shoulder and squeezed. Sebastian wanted to hyperventilate. He was gay, and his big, hairy, gay lover was wandering town and introducing himself to every single person who’d known him since he was in diapers. His mom and step-dad had been in there. His mom’s customers. Every single person would know by tomorrow morning what had happened.

“Sebastian,” Abigail said softly, coming over on his other side. “Seb, really, it’s okay. It doesn’t matter.”

He shut his eyes and tapped the ash off his cigarette, exhaling.

“No one knows you’re gay dude,” Sam said softly, rubbing his back. “No one knows anything. They just think that William guy is a dick, okay?”

Sebastian latched onto the words like a lifeline.

“Why would people think you’re gay because William spoke to you?” Abigail said, confused. “I mean, he doesn’t really exude ‘Fagness’ you know.”

“Fuck off Abby,” Sam snapped. “And don’t say that, rudeass.”

She rolled her eyes and Sebastian felt like he was finally getting air to come into his lungs.

“When I was in Zuzu City,” Sebastian mostly whispered. “I hooked up with someone. That someone was…William.”

Sam clicked his teeth, his hand still steady on Sebastian’s shoulder.

Abigail coughed, and then in a low tone said, “Wait. Are you telling me…that the one guy in all of that big-ass city that you decide to sleep with…is the same one who moves _here_ ….to a town that hasn’t had a new person since Shane and Jas rolled in three years ago?”

The summary made him decide that yes, it was an excellent idea to have a second cigarette.

As he lit it she shook her head.

“Well shit.”

“That about sums it up,” Sam said. He slowed as they got to the lake. Turning up the hill ahead would put them in sight of Sebastian’s house. As if mutually agreed, they all stayed near the wooden bridge at the lake.

“No one knows, you think?” Sebastian asked, burying his free hand into the hoodie.

“Nope. Like, jeez Seb. It’s not like he came up and hugged you or something. Or tried to kiss you.” She giggled. “I can’t believe you’d want to kiss that big ugly beard.”

Irritation flickered through him. He put out the butt of his cigarette against his shoe and put it in his pocket, then pulled up the hood of his jacket.

“It’s not ugly.” He turned away from them and headed towards his house. “Thanks guys. See you tomorrow.”

Abigail and Sam stared at his back as he disappeared into the dark, neither of them quite sure what to say.

*

The walk home from the Pub was quiet. The city itself was quaint. Everything was so closely placed that he could walk all the way from his new property to the town center.

It had been a week of body-breaking hard work. He hadn’t been this sore since Boot Camp. Still, it was so much better than the last two years of slaving away at Joja. His first day in, he’d walked into a rocky and wood-covered stretch of land. His grandpa’s house had a sagging porch, and he’d had to patch a hole in the roof first thing his second day after waking up to a bed full of rain.

Still, he could relax.

Back in Zuzu, he never walked home relaxed. He always kept an eye out on the people. Wondering who would come at him with a smile and a gun. Who was going to jump him. Here in the deep dark of the wilderness night, he didn’t fear. Because this darkness was honest. It was real and present and other people felt it too. It wasn’t like feeling strangled. Out here in the country, on his own land that had his name on it, the air was sweet and clean.

There wasn’t the noise of cars and construction equipment. He didn’t hear sirens every night. Instead he had loud cicadas and owls hooting their joy at the darkness.

He looked up and could see the moon and so many beautiful stars.

He was alone because there was no one else here. Not alone in a sea of strangers who wouldn’t notice if he never showed up again.

He got to his porch, kicked the dirt off his boots and stepped inside.

Pop’s old tools were stacked in a box he’d drug out of a broken shed on the corner of the property. He’d meant to find Clint, the blacksmith, to see if he could trade them in for something better, but seeing Sebastian had scrambled his brains right the hell up.

He pulled his shirt out of his jeans and unbuttoned it. It was one of Pop’s old ones that he’d pulled out of mothball storage. Probably old-fashioned with buttons on the pockets and a collar, but he’d needed something. The spring mornings were too chilly for t-shirts and besides, it was all that had been clean. He uncuffed the long sleeves and pulled it off, tossing it with the other clothes he had to figure out how to wash.

There had been one more advantage to wearing the long sleeved relic: he’d been keeping his track marks covered.

William looked at the old scars as he grabbed his razor and hesitated. Then he grabbed the razor strop and pulled it back and forth, the movement soothing; the sound rhythmic. He remembered when he’d been a boy and Grandpa had stropped an almost identical straight razor, his dad giving him dramatic eyebrows. Dad had always been clean, but William liked a beard. Liked the way it hid the burn marks from when his unit had nearly been blown up by a Gotoro ambush.

William was really good at hiding scars. He was a fucking expert.

And that snub by Sebastian had, somehow, left a mark.

Fuck Sebastian.

William glared at the strop and then finished, putting it to the side as he began to mix the lather in a bowl.

Asshole.

It was stupid to care, of course. He’d had dozens of nights like that one. Nights where he’d been looking for someone easy. Nights where he’d been out trawling the club waters and come up with a hot boy. If Sebastian wanted to avoid it, that was his damage.

Dick weasel.

He began to lather up the sides of his head, focusing on the line he was making. He wanted to keep some hair long after all – couldn’t have a proper undercut if he shaved himself bald. And really, in the end, it didn’t bother him.

He didn’t care that Sebastian had pretended like they hadn’t even known each other.

_Chicken shit._

He turned his head left and right then put the blade against his skin, cleaning up the shag and fuzz that had started to grow on his head.

He wasn’t ashamed of who _he_ was. William was gay. He liked men and he didn’t have a problem with it. And if anyone in this pissant town had a kink up their ass about it, they could come deal with him face to face.

_Eyeliner streaks down his cheeks._

He tossed the hair-coated shaving cream on the sink and glared back at his reflection, then turned and started on the other size of his head.

He was over that noise. He had too much damn work to do on the farm anyway to play fuck-fuck games with a scared little queer in the closet. If he wanted to make himself white-faced and pale just because he’d run into a past mistake, that was his business. William had plenty of things to clean up on his own land and wasn’t concerned with whatever Sebastian’s deal was. It was all water under the leaky bridge.

Finishing the shave, he dropped the razor in the sink before turning and punching the wall. It hurt his fist. It hurt good. He jerked the towel down and rinsed his head.

He didn’t care at all.

  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not have a beta for this fic and the first 15 chapters or so were written pretty quickly- about a day apart or multiple chapters in one day. Due to this there can be some typos, grammatical errors and small instances of missing words. I have tried to fix this as I go.
> 
> -Edited on 09/14/2017-
> 
> This is the 3rd version of this chapter as of November 20, 2017.  
> I recently some betas for this project (Thank You Ginger, you are the best!) and have been going back as I have time over the chapters and fixing as I can.
> 
> I posted the first 15 chapters daily during the beginning of this fic so quality suffered due to quantity. However, we're still rocking along and I appreciate all the love and support!
> 
> Even though this project is long and months old, every comment, kudo, bookmark, and recommendation still encourages me. Feedback is food for this lil' author so if you like it, I don't know unless you tell me. ;)
> 
> You can always hit me up at Tumblr and leave an ask! I'm very social and love to talk. 
> 
> Enjoy the rest! <3


	5. Input William

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes capitalism meets a fist.

Sebastian’s house was silent at two a.m., his sister and parental-units asleep.

As this was a natural and healthy thing, Sebastian’s brain rejected it as unacceptable, and popped the solution to the directory issue his client kept running into right into his cerebral cortex to wake him up. It was so blindingly obvious, he wondered why he hadn’t realized it before. All he had to do was fix the data organization. He sat up, yawning and his brain continued to chug through the problem. Considering the amount of clean up he’d done in the coding over the last several days – and the worthless tech who had been over the server before getting fired – it was really no wonder he hadn’t seen it right away.

His clock glowed the time, bright red numbers that chided him for his poor sleeping habits. He closed his eyes but then another logical thought inserted itself, reminding him this would be a good time to go ahead and make the changes. No one from the user base on the server would be awake. Business hours were 9-5 at this client’s main work base. He could slip in, test the changes and if they weren’t working – hey, it wouldn’t slow down any daily work from his client’s staff. If he wanted he could go back to sleep after he finished. Maybe after this fix, he could turn in the final billable hours and mark the server set-up project off his list.

That decided him and he stood up, stretching. He turned on his main machine, a mammoth workhorse rig that was networked to a mini-server he’d built to maintain all of the different storage he used to back up major projects, and trudged to his bathroom to splash some water on his face.

He had a small counter, a stand-up glass door-style shower, and a blanket of styling products over all available surfaces. In one corner were cosmetics that Abigail had helped him pick out for their band gigs. Bleeding over into it was hair dye and gel. There were combs and brushes, as well as a few cans of hair wax that he’d used to keep his hair under control. He dug around in the pile until he’d fished out his tube of toothpaste. He lathered up a toothbrush and paused when he saw his eyeliner, knocked out from under the cosmetic detritus.

Goddamn it.

Everything from last night flooded back, for once superseding the solution to his coding dilemma.

Input William. Error Message.

He tossed the tube of eyeliner in the trash then brushed his teeth.

Logic rose up in the peace of his room as he scrubbed.

His mom hadn’t bothered him when she’d gotten home – a sign that she’d not thought anything major was happening. Everyone had just come in after their evening and gone to bed. If they all thought something had changed, he didn’t think they’d just ignore it.

That soothed his heartrate. He spit, rinsed and tossed the toothbrush into a cup.

He stepped out and put on a shirt, went upstairs and slipped up the hall. Dark silence greeted him. He was alone at least. His stomach growled and he padded down the hall on quiet feet to the kitchen.

He made coffee, raided the fridge and retreated, a shadow stealing sustenance.

He sat down, arranged his bounty, took a sip of coffee and remembered the smell of it being ground before he’d left William’s apartment, a month ago.

 William lived in Pelican Town.

It wasn’t something that was going to just go away. Which meant for better or for worse, it was only a matter of time before the whole sordid tale was so much fodder for the village gossip machine. He leaned back in his chair and blew a strand of hair out of his eyes.

Then he turned on music: electric rock and a keening vocalist to flood his mind and drown the irritating and distracting thoughts. He tried to focus on the solution that had woken him up but it was like grasping sand. Helpfully, his memory reminded him of useless and stressful stimuli instead.

William from the city. William, larger than life with a sexy undercut and shoulders big enough to lift a man off the ground, was now in his world. Was now stomping around Pelican Town with his tattoos and his muscles and his sharp gaze that could remind him of sordid deeds without any words.

A wrecking ball, careening right towards the little bubble he’d erected around his life. Around his family and his privacy.

Still. William had saved him that day.

If he could just find the nerve to talk to him,  _privately_ , maybe it would be okay.

Maybe.

He squeezed his eyes, let out a breath, took a sip of coffee and then got to work.

It wasn’t hard to tune it out then. He had processed the new information so now all he had to do was focus on his fingers and the keys. He dug up the directories and within a few moments had hit that treasured work zone that he could stay in for hours while he determined what the hell had gone wrong with the organization of the client’s server.

It was a relief, because computers were so much easier to deal with than people.

*

William woke up at the alarm at six and stepped outside into a dim and beautiful morning. He inhaled sweet air and stretched, yawning.

His eyes skimmed the fields that he’d planted and the area he’d cleared the day before. According to the journal that Pops had left behind, he had just enough time left in the season to get some green beans in the ground. He hadn’t made it to Pierre’s in time to see if he had any in stock the day before, so the sooner the better.

And when he dressed, he wasn’t at all concerned about running into Sebastian, and didn’t make sure his beard was groomed in case he saw him. Nope. After all, if he was right, half the town was around at any given time, so he might as well make a good impression on his neighbors. It had nothing to do with Sebastian. He glanced at the dent he’d put in the wall.

Yep. Not one bit.

“How do I look?” he asked Ingrid, the orange kitten Marnie had dropped off the other day.

Ingrid paused in her grooming, met his eyes and went back to licking her paw.

“Good enough,” William declared.

As many times as he’d recently been talking to himself, it was good that he had the cat around to keep him from sounding crazy. Though, he reflected as he grabbed a bag for seeds and shoved his wallet in his back pocket, it wasn’t like there was anyone close enough to judge. That thought cheered him. He could wander around his property singing at the top of his lungs and there wouldn’t be anyone to hear or call the police. Did this town even have police?

The walk to the village was a good exercise in recognizing the local flora. According to Pop’s journal, the different plants could be made into seeds and the domesticated varieties were in high demand in the area.

He already had a few different varieties of things when he finally made it to the general store. His legs were warm from the walk and he stepped into Pierre’s feeling cheerful.

Behind the counter a sandy-haired, bespeckled man looked up then waved.

“Morning Pierre.”

“William! Welcome. You’re up bright and early.”

William grinned back and shrugged, putting his backpack on the counter. “Early bird. Something something something worm.”

Pierre laughed. The shop was busy this morning, William noticed. Good. Places like this had a lot of character. Not all of the shelving matched; some was wood and some was metal. The produce section was small but changed daily. William figured he wasn’t the only farmer in the area, but he was definitely the closest. He pulled out his notes of which seeds he needed. Just as he opened his mouth to ask Pierre what he could get, the bell behind him jingled and the door creaked. Pierre’s face went from relaxed to tense and William turned his head, curious to see who would get the generally cheerful man’s hackles up.

The man who shambled in didn’t look like much. He had oily black hair and was thick around the waist. His frame was squat and he wore a hideous red bow tie. He had a jowly face with a pocked nose, thick with pores.

“Morris,” Pierre muttered.

William cocked his head. “He trouble?”

“The worst kind,” Pierre said softly before coming out from behind the counter.

Curious, William followed him, taller than the slender retail owner. Morris scowled, looking around at the bustling shop.

“I was wondering where all the business had gone this morning.”

“What are you doing here, Morris?” Pierre said, his body stretching up and growing bigger in the open space around them. Morris sneered, looking him up and down before dismissing him.

“Still hanging on, Pierre? Last I checked, you were only a few missed mortgage payments away from closing.” He looked around and his scowl deepened. “And all my customers are here too? Now, now Pierre. Greed doesn’t become you.”

He pulled some papers out of a pocket and called, “Excuse me! Attention everyone!”

Pierre closed his fists and growled softly but just stared, eyes hard. William frowned looking back and forth between them.

Shoppers around them slowed and turned their heads, blinking in surprise and murmuring at Morris’s call.

“I have 50% off coupons with me for Joja’s stock today! Exclusive sale, folks!”

Eyes shined, and within a few minutes he was surrounded.

“What bullshit,” William hissed.

Pierre looked sick.

“Fifty percent off?” He closed his eyes, his shoulders slumping. “I can’t take that kind of hit, damn his eyes.”

William felt the rage building and let go of his pack, dropping it next to him. This wouldn’t do. Not at all.

“You!” he barked, digging down into his gut and pulling out the drill sergeant voice from a pit he thought it had died in after he’d left the service.

Morris turned and people jumped out of the way as William stalked over to him and grabbed him by the collar of that stupid looking bowtie.

“Hey!” Morris protested, trying to jerk away.

William narrowed his eyes at the pudgy little slime ball. “What the hell is your problem, man?”

Morris threw his hands up and coupons flew around them like bizarre, brightly colored confetti. “Unhand me you, you…punk!” he squeaked.

“What the hell” –he shook him again— “is your problem? You can’t just come into a man’s shop and do this shit.”

Morris’s ridiculous round glasses slipped when William shook him. He struggled, pushing his chubby fingers against William’s wrist.

“Did you hire this punk, huh Pierre?” Morris sputtered, still struggling. William jerked him back as Pierre came closer.

“William, um, maybe you shouldn’t—”

“Shouldn’t what?” William growled, furious at the little shit. He looked up and realized most of the customers, frightened of the confrontation, had gathered up the scattered coupons and left, leaving the store empty.

“It’s not worth it,” Pierre said, his hand on William’s shoulder now.

With a muttered, ‘fuck’, William let the asshole go, letting him drop on his butt. Morris scrambled to his feet and brushed himself off, straightened his glasses and then stiffened his spine.

“You just wait,” he spit. “Joja is going to  _destroy_  this stupid little store. You just wait. You’ll be begging me on your knees to sell this shitty little hole in the wall.”

Rage burned in William, hot and fast.

Just as fast as the impulse ran through him, he lunged, throwing his fist with a focused power that hit Morris hard right in the sternum. As the man coughed, losing his air, William grabbed him by his greasy comb-over and slammed his porous little nose onto his knee, then threw him back on the ground. Morris’s glasses had broken into two pieces and he had a blood stain on his jeans, but William didn’t care.

“If you EVER,” he said, his tone calm, even as the blood beat in his ears from adrenaline, “darken my friend Pierre’s door again, I’ll do more than break your nose. Now get the hell out of here you pencil-dicked weasel.”

Morris was choking and coughing, but he half-scrambled, half-crawled out of the store, the door slamming behind him.

Silence.

Then Pierre let out a low whistle.

“That’s – that’s some temper you got there, William,” he said carefully, keeping his distance.

William’s high at the burst of violence slowly drained out, replaced by logic. Logic had, of course, been there the whole time, but his inner he-man had kicked that motherfucker into a closet so that business could be settled.

He rubbed the back of his neck, which was currently burning, and turned to face Pierre squarely prepared for the hammer of lawful order to kick him in the nuts.

Pierre had his hands in his pockets and was looking grim.

“You gonna call the law?” William asked, dropping his hands down by his side.

Pierre snorted and shook his head.

“Nah. And if Morris is smart, he won’t either. C’mon kid. I’ll buy you a beer.”

  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 3rd version of this chapter as of November 20, 2017.  
> I recently some betas for this project (Thank You Ginger, you are the best!) and have been going back as I have time over the chapters and fixing as I can.
> 
> I posted the first 15 chapters daily during the beginning of this fic so quality suffered due to quantity. However, we're still rocking along and I appreciate all the love and support!
> 
> Even though this project is long and months old, every comment, kudo, bookmark, and recommendation still encourages me. Feedback is food for this lil' author so if you like it, I don't know unless you tell me. ;)
> 
> You can always hit me up at Tumblr and leave an ask! I'm very social and love to talk. 
> 
> Enjoy the rest! <3


	6. Country Walkways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Country road...take me home.

9:30 a.m. Sebastian’s alarm began to beep and he pushed his headphones off, rubbing his eyes.

He wanted a cigarette. The traffic had begun to pick up on the server, and from what he could tell of the three bug tests he’d been running and the increased stress, the solution was working. He shot off an email to the office admin, logged the time stamps on his tracking program and sent those to his billable hours file, then shut down, yawning. Not by for six hours of coding.

He grabbed his dishes and went upstairs, bee-lining to the kitchen.

“Well, look who woke up this morning. Nice to see that you live, Sebastian.”

His step-dad was sitting at the table, an open paper in front of him. Sebastian rolled his eyes and flipped his hair out of his face. Three steps to the sink. Two squirts of soap. One twist of a sink handle and he had created some white noise. If Demetrius had any more sniper comments, he could pretend he didn’t hear them.

The paper rattled and when he turned off the faucet, Demetrius tried again.

“You left the bar in a hurry yesterday. Everything okay?”

Sebastian was proud of himself for not dropping the cup he was drying.

“Things are fine. Where’s Mom?”

Demetrius nodded his head outside. “Went to go get some more lumber from the southern forest. Probably won’t be home until lunch.”

Sebastian finished the last dish and stuck his damp hands in his hoodie pockets, starting towards the door. He needed a smoke.

“So what did that new farmer say to you yesterday, huh?” Demetrius asked again. “Your mom and I were trying to figure it out.”

Sweat broke out on the back of Sebastian’s neck. Shit. Would he just let it go? This was exactly the problem with living at home. Both the older adults of the house thought they had some sort of right to his business. He’d known they were watching, but hadn’t bothered coming up with an explanation to stave it off. Poor planning on his part.

“Nothing. It was nothing.” He tried to skirt around Demetrius, the craving running down the back of his neck. He wanted out of this room, away from the questions he wasn’t ready to answer.

Demetrius held up a hand, his face focused. “He’s a stranger, you know. Sort of rough. If he wasn’t polite to you, I can talk to Mayor Lewis about it.”

His stomach dropped. Of all the times for Demetrius to take an interest in his well-being, it was just his luck it was about exactly what he wanted him to leave alone.

He played out that conversation in his mind. Mayor Lewis would mosey over to William’s farm to ask if everything was alright with ‘Robin’s boy’ and William would… well. He actually had no clue what William would do. He was a wild card in this equation.

Still, the last thing Sebastian wanted was the freaking Mayor finding out that the town’s resident recluse was out playing hide the pickle with strange men from Zuzu City. He averted his eyes from Demetrius’s probing gaze and sidestepped the hand blocking his exit.

“Nah. Nothing like that.” He tossed his hair, something he knew irritated his step-dad to an illogical level. “See you, Demetrius. I’m going to Sam’s.”

He didn’t run because that would have drawn attention, but he did walk quickly, making good on his escape.

*

Pierre was a strange cookie, William decided. He’d closed his shop up in the middle of the day and dragged him across the town square to go invade Gus’s bar. They’d sat while the husky bartender belly-laughed at Pierre’s creative retelling of the event.

“I hate that Joja Mart,” Gus groused as Pierre settled into a pint. “They came in here a couple of years ago and bulldozed that northern part of the city, but they don’t maintain anything. They don’t do much of anything but try and destroy the local businesses.”

William shrugged. “Tell me about it. I used to work in their databases in the city. Entering shipping numbers, backing up their sales data. It sucks. Still, small communities like this are where they tend to thrive the best.”

Pierre’s face grew gloomy.

“Sales at my store have dropped since they came in. I don’t know what we’ll do if I end up closing. I have everything invested in that place.”

Gus grimaced and poured another shot into his whiskey glass. William tapped the bar next to his own. Only a dick would make the poor guy drink alone.

“It’s okay man,” William said, patting Pierre on his back. “They can’t get seasonal stuff as fresh as you can. I’ve got a bunch of crops going to be ready in a couple of days for harvest.”

“See, Pierre?” Gus said, topping off William’s glass. “Ole Bill over here is going to help you out.”

William chuckled and shook his head. “Where’d you get Bill from? It’s William, Gus.”

He smirked. “Farmer Bill fits you much better than a long name like  _William_. C’mon, we never called your grandpa,  _Farmer Joseph_.”

William sighed, shook his head then drained the shot and put his glass rim-down on the bar.

“Alright! Well. Pierre.” He stood, and it was a credit to his near decade of poor decisions that he didn’t even sway on his feet. “You send that girl…” He snapped his fingers, trying to recall her name.

“Abigail,” Pierre supplied.

“Yup. Abigail. You send Abigail to fetch me if that sniveling dick-nugget” –Gus coughed out a wheezing laugh— “comes back around to cause more trouble.”

Pierre cackled then drained his own glass. “No problem Bill. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Same seed time. Same seed place.” He unbuttoned the top button of his shirt as he stepped out, feeling flushed from the good whiskey Gus had broken out.

One of the advantages to country life, William decided as he meandered home in broad daylight, was that he could be publicly intoxicated without any real consequence. The boonies had their pros. And at least he had no risk of driving drunk, what with not having a car. Hell, he’d only seen two vehicles in the whole damn town. As he neared his farm, he unbuttoned his cuffs and rolled them up to his elbows. He’d just have to get more tattoos to cover up the marks that had bothered him so much. Maybe he’d get a mural of farm crops to paint his arms with. A sign of his new life. A tribute to his grandpa.

He lost some of his joviality as his feet hit dirt.

It was a pretty serious problem that Pierre was facing. Joja’s bottom line was always their most important goal. The online stores and call centers all had harsh quotas, and he didn’t doubt that the big wigs back at the home office had some similar bullshit going on at the retail stores.

No one that he’d known of had ever successfully taken down a supercenter like the one Pierre had described, but as he stepped into the haven of his property he decided that perhaps it was time that there was a first.

*

“You okay man?” Sam asked him when he walked into his room. Sebastian groaned then flopped dramatically onto his friend’s bed.

“I’m tired,” he confessed into Sam’s pillow.

“It’s gotta be exhausting to be so conflicted, dude.”

Sebastian fished his hand out of the blankets and lifted a middle finger. Sam laughed, because he was an asshole who enjoyed Sebastian’s pain.

“C’mon. It’s gonna be okay. We can do band practice and whatever junk you got going on in your head can get dealt with. Abby should be here any–”

The door burst open and Abigail came in giggling.

Sebastian rolled up and cocked his head as she closed the door, grinning so wide her face was likely to cramp.

“Sam – hey Seb! Guys! You’re never going to believe this.”

Sebastian stood up and came around, shoulder to shoulder with Sam as they came to her side.

“Believe what?” Sam asked.

“This!” She pulled out her phone and turned it sideways so they could see whatever she’d recorded.

At first it seemed like it was just a side-shot view of her dad’s shop. Sam’s manager, Morris was in the middle of a crowd of people, handing out coupons. Sebastian’s back shot with tension as he saw William enter on the side of the screen, hollering. He flashed back to the fury and power that William had dealt out against Chad back at Mirage. He brought his hand to cover his mouth as William lifted Morris up by his necktie.

“Holy shit,” Sam breathed, eyes big. “He’s only using one hand.”

“Just wait!” Abby giggled, her hand shaking a bit from whatever anticipation it was that William was about to do. Sebastian was nailed to the spot.

A few minutes later and all three of them gave out low, “Oooohs,” as William delivered his gut punch and followed up with the knee to Morris’s nose.

“Shit, that’s gonna leave a mark,” Sam said with absolute glee. “Wonder if he’ll be at work Monday.”

“Fuck me,” Sebastian whispered, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Right!?” Abby said, sinking down onto her heels and sitting cross-legged. “Mom is all in a tizzy about how violence doesn’t solve anything, but Dad went and practically gave the guy a medal.”

Sam shook his head and chuckled. They both glanced over at Sebastian but he wasn’t paying attention to them.

Was William okay? Was Morris going to call the cops and put him in jail for that?

“That was assault, guys,” he said softly.

Abby snorted. “Maybe, but it’s about time that someone put that asshole in his place.”

“They ain’t gonna do shit,” Sam declared, waving an arm as if to erase the words. “William is old man Joe’s grandson. He and Mayor Lewis were tight. No way have they arrested him.”

“C’mon, Sebastian, you’re city Sasquatch is AWESOME!” Abby said, bouncing up.

Sam grabbed his guitar and nodded over at the keyboard. “Sebastian, dude. Chill. Get on the keys and let’s get some practice in. It’s cool.”

Sebastian frowned. Couldn’t they see the bigger picture here? William was like, a loose cannon or something; wandering around and punching people he didn’t like. That kind of thing was cool in the movies but in real life… it was dangerous.

“Sebastian,” Abigail said, her eyes amused. “If everyone is talking about what a studly beefcake Mr. Smackdown is and how he beat up Morris, they’re not going to think he’s batting for the other team. No one is going to even remember that weirdness yesterday. This is a good thing.”

“Why? Because guys like William don’t like guys?” He knew that she was trying to help, that it wasn’t what she meant, but the words snapped out anyway. He felt prickly, like his skin was sandpaper and everything that brushed against him was painful and chafing.

Sam’s face grew cautious, glancing between the two of them. Abigail rolled her eyes and sat on the drum stool.

“Um, it’s not the first thought I have when I look at a guy like that, yeah.”

“So,” he said softly, glaring. “When you look at guys like _me_ it’s not so hard to see.”

“Hey, dude,” Sam said, getting between them, eyes wide. “No one said you looked gay or anything, Sebastian.”

“I dunno, do I exude fagness, Abigail?”

She flinched, then glared. “Wow. Ever since you came out, you’ve been kind of an asshole, Sebastian,” she snapped. “I didn’t mean you. I’m sorry. Don’t be so sensitive, okay?”

“How about you—” he began, fists clenching.

“Enough,” Sam snapped, slapping a hand on his chest and pushing him back, keeping Abigail and her drum set behind him. Without looking at her he said, “Abigail, shut your word-hole. Sebastian? Go take a walk man. We can’t practice music with all that pissed-off going on, okay? Just. We’re on your side buddy. Try and remember that.”

“Fine,” Sebastian snapped back, crossing the room and slamming the door behind him. He pulled his hood up as he stepped outside and stalked towards the right, walking along the river. He’d go get his head clear in the southern forest where he wouldn’t have to worry about people hearing him. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it in a smooth motion, shoving his fist back into his hoodie.

Damn it.

Of all the shit towns in all the areas of Ferngill, how the hell did William wind up being in Pelican Town? It made no freaking sense. If he had never come here, then Sam would still be the only person who  _knew_  and no one else. Abigail wouldn’t be giving him looks like he’d grown another head. His stepfather would be ignoring him as was proper. He’d be playing music right now and not caring one bit about the potential for Joja to drive down in black vans and throw William’s stupid face into the back.

He paced and smoked and paced and walked, passing Leah’s house. Then he wandered past Marnie’s ranch and finally, in an effort to avoid the weird woods past the big fallen log, found himself stumbling onto a path…onto William’s property.

He froze when he realized it. Fuck, he did not mean to do that. He wasn’t ready to see him. Wasn’t even sure what he would say.

Still…it was a big farm. And if he cut straight up and through, he’d be able to get home no problem. He’d come through here tons of times when he and Sam were out camping. He could skirt the edge away from that house. No way would William be all the way back here. Yeah. He’d take the chance.

He put the cigarette out and stuck the butt in his pocket, let out the last of his therapeutic smoke and started up the way.

About ten minutes into his hike, he heard the rhythmic pounding of axe against wood. He’d grown up with that steady ‘chop chop chop’ and knew it intimately. He froze and glanced around, looking for a good place to turn around. Nope. Nope. Abort.

He turned too quickly though and the hood of his jacket snarled onto a particularly overgrown tree. He jerked too hard, too fast and then tripped, falling ass-first onto the ground. He tried to twist but only succeeded in getting his foot stuck underneath a rock that he’d rolled into with his flailing.

The chopping stopped.

“Hello?”

Fuuuuuuuuuck.

Sebastian didn’t answer, covering his mouth with his arm, trying to remain still. He closed his eyes, his heart pounding in his ears. Was he coming over here? He couldn’t hear past the blood pounding in his head. He tried to slow his breathing. Still nothing. He listened harder but William wasn’t chopping wood.

A cloud covered the sun and Sebastian let his arm fall, peeking.

Peeking right up into William’s sweaty face.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 3rd version of this chapter as of November 20, 2017.  
> I recently some betas for this project (Thank You Ginger, you are the best!) and have been going back as I have time over the chapters and fixing as I can.
> 
> I posted the first 15 chapters daily during the beginning of this fic so quality suffered due to quantity. However, we're still rocking along and I appreciate all the love and support!
> 
> Even though this project is long and months old, every comment, kudo, bookmark, and recommendation still encourages me. Feedback is food for this lil' author so if you like it, I don't know unless you tell me. ;)
> 
> You can always hit me up at Tumblr and leave an ask! I'm very social and love to talk. 
> 
> Enjoy the rest! <3


	7. Chemical Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which mistakes are made and beds are broken

Why did this keep happening to him?

Had what he’d done over in Gotoro just been too terrible to let stand?

Was this revenge for surviving when others hadn’t?

Unsure of what fresh hell he was in for, William looked down, baffled, at Sebastian. Who was on his back, eyes wide and face flushed. On the ground of William’s property. He’d gotten his leg trapped like a proverbial rabbit underneath one of the many rocks that William had spent hours trying to clear. He wondered if he was being punished for something.

“I take it trespassing is a pastime for you yokels out here,” he said, squatting down over the rock. As he reached for it, Sebastian jerked and then gasped, the panic on his face replaced with pain. William moved swiftly, shoving the bolder over, but it was too late. In Sebastian’s spazzing, something had popped in his ankle.

“ _Damn_  it, Sebastian!” William snapped, shoving the rock aside. Sebastian had already pulled himself against a tree, his face an open book to all the conflicted mess going on in his head. William remained still, eyes focused on him. Panic. Pain. Fear. All of it laid out like a novel.

“I didn’t think I’d see  _you_ ,” he said weakly. He bit his knee and looked at his ankle, rubbing it.

William leaned back on his heels and ignored the way that particular word hand-slapped him.

“It is my land dude. You’re a bad gambler.” He skimmed the man over – noted the mussed hair, the dirt-stained clothes and muddy shoes – then rolled his eyes, crab-walking to crouch next to him. “Let me look at your ankle, you dumbass.”

“Calling me names now?” Sebastian bit out, face red. He did, grudgingly, shift himself so that William could examine him.

“I have a few collected, yeah,” William said, his fingers gentle as he rolled the jeans up. “Fuck, man, you gotta wear your pants so tight?”

Sebastian tossed his head, freeing his face from that long bang of hair that always seemed to fall over his left eye. “You weren’t complaining about how tight my jeans were last month.” He bit his lip after, as if the words had shocked him. William raised a brow and smirked in spite of his irritation with himself. Their eyes met and for a heartbeat, William sensed it again, that energy that had attracted him to Sebastian in the first place. It was a heat that went from his chest to his groin, something primal and natural…but just as quickly as the feeling had kindled, Sebastian’s face flinched into a pain spasm when William’s fingers gently palpated the ankle.

“Yup. Your dumbass sprained it,” he said, feeling the swelling already starting around the joint. He leaned back on his heels again and skimmed his eyes around the area. He’d cleared a path from the southern forest as best as possible, but it was still going to be a bit of a trek to get them back to his house.

“Just let me catch my breath and I’ll head home,” Sebastian said, starting to get up. William crossed his arms and leaned back, a skeptical look on his face. He watched as Sebastian managed to put his weight on his good leg and start to rise, then lose his balance and fall back on his ass.

“Yeah, just checked with the court of Me and that shit isn’t going to fly. Or” –he cocked his head at the man— “in your case, walk. Stop being a girl about this and relax already.” He knelt down and scooped Sebastian up.

“A girl!?” Sebastian gave a combined groan and gasp as William plucked him up like a weed.

“Yeah, a fucking girl, you asshole,” William said back, adjusting his arm underneath Sebastian’s knees. Sebastian clutched his shoulders to keep his balance.

“That’s sexist,” he groaned as William began to march back towards his house. “And you’re a maniac.”

“Congratulations for reaching this level of the exciting new game, ‘William is a Fuckwad.’ Please insert fifty gold to continue to the DLC, ‘Sticks and Stoners – a new beginning’.”

Sebastian choked out a laugh, and then the ridiculousness of the last hour seemed to crash into him with full force. The disbelieving chuckle turned into a belly laugh. William rolled his eyes at the cackling young man in his arms but soldiered on when he got within sight of his house.

“Alright, alright, yuck it up Chucklefuck. I’m putting you down and I want you to stay still, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Sebastian nodded, wheezing and wiping his eyes. William gently put him down on the steps then dipped inside to grab his first-aid kit.

He cursed his lack of a freezer for the first time. He’d been living off packs of MREs that he’d brought with him as a temporary fix, because again – no kitchen here either. Pops had been a ‘sleep here and eat at the pub’ type of guy and the total disrepair of his house was not conducive to giving aid and comfort. He’d have to get Sebastian to the clinic. He was pretty sure the ankle wasn’t broken, but no reason not to get it checked out. He came back outside and raised an eyebrow. Sebastian had followed orders at least, sitting still on the steps with his foot stretched out in front of him. He also had just lit a cigarette.

Interesting. The closeted country mouse had more hidden vices.

“Oh, uh,” he said, self-consciously looking over at William. “You mind?”

“Only if you don’t share,” William said, squatting down on the dirt. Sebastian nodded and pulled one out. William leaned forward and he lit it for him. They were inches away, and their eyes met as the cigarette was lit. The chemistry that had driven him nuts last time was trying to bubble up once more. Sebastian was a beautiful fucker, William admitted with a tinge of despair. His face, his slender neck with the masculine touches that only added to his attraction – sharp lines and skin that William  _knew_  tasted like heaven. 

_He’s hurt_ , the responsible part of his brain injected.

William broke their gaze, closing his eyes as he inhaled. Then, because he was a thoughtful bastard, he redirected his exhale and clinched the stick in his mouth so he could get a better look at his ex-lover’s stupidity.

He removed the shoe and sock – black, because of course it was—and began to wrap an ace bandage around the joint, adding compression to the swelling. Sebastian leaned on his elbows, watching William work from underneath his bangs.

“Where did you learn how to do this?” he asked, biting down a wince as William began tightening his wrap.

“Army,” he replied, focusing on the bandaging and not how soft the hairs were on Sebastian’s legs. His logical side throat-kicked his horny animal side into the same room that it’d been locked in when making decisions about Morris. He was going to be an adult about this, damn his dick. Satisfied that the bandage would work in the short term, he fit Sebastian’s shoe back over the wrap.

“Alright Sebastian, we gotta get you to an x-ray. I don’t think you broke—”

“Fuck no,” he gasped, pulling the foot out of William’s hand. “My sister works at the clinic.”

Exasperated, William took the cigarette out of his mouth and ashed it to the side.

“Dude. Joint injuries aren’t a joke. Lots of little bones and shit down there. Mess up your foot and don’t handle it? You could be limping a long time.”

“It was just a stupid fall. I’ll go home and rest it and it’ll be fine.”

“Already told you, that shit ain’t gonna fly.”

“Fuck you, William. You think you can just bully people who don’t do what you want? What, you going to hit me if I don’t agree?”

William’s brows furrowed. “The fuck you say?”

“You like to beat the fuck out of people! Or did you think I hadn’t figured that out with all those scars on your fist?”

William looked down at his hand, at the old track scars from when he used to shove needles between his fingers for a high, and choked on the smoke. He turned his head and coughed, standing up to better breathe. He let out a few breaths and contained himself.  _Ignorant, backwoods dumbass_. He turned back and saw that Sebastian was trying to hobble up on his good foot. He got in front of him and with a gentle push, knocked him back on his butt.

“Ain’t punch scars,” he said softly, sitting next to him on the steps. Sebastian gave him a suspicious look. William stuck his shrinking cigarette between his teeth.

“Got these from my heroin habit.” He held his hand out so Sebastian could get a better look at them. Sebastian’s eyes, previously franticly searching for an exit, froze at the confession. William didn’t meet his eyes, just stared off and examined the tree line. He’d been making progress on at least clearing what was around the house. There had been some plans inside grandpa’s chest with some sketches, but the old man had never done more than piddle on the land, content with the vegetables that he’d been able to pull from the soil and to wander around in town, shooting the breeze with the different citizens of Pelican Town.

He closed his eyes when Sebastian picked up the hand, running his fingers over the marks between William’s knuckles.

“Heroin? You…you were an addict?”

William didn’t pull his hand away. It felt too nice to have someone touch one of the worst parts of him with tenderness. He finished off the cigarette and rubbed it out on the porch, finally letting out the smoke and looking over at Sebastian’s face. He expected pity. Instead, he got a tender gaze of compassion.

“Am an Addict,” William said. “I’ve just been clean from heroin for two years. It’s nothing to be impressed by.”

“It must have been hard. And I am impressed.”

Two years, four months and twelve days. It was amazing how much positive attention a guy could get by just not fucking up his life.

“It’s been a bit. Now. I’m not going to hit you.” He met his eyes.  “I don’t hit the guys I want to fuck.”

“Wanted to fuck,” Sebastian corrected, letting go of his hand now. William didn’t let the gaze drop and leaned forward, too tuned into that chemistry, that sizzle that he felt when Sebastian had stroked his hand.

“Want. Lie to yourself, Sebastian. Don’t you dare lie to me.”

*

Sebastian felt like he would drown in those blue eyes.

He was always questioning his interactions with people. Always wondering if he’d say or do the wrong thing. Hell, he practically always did the wrong thing anyway. He was a social disaster who’d only made it this far in life by shielding himself with outgoing friends who were too used to his presence to question if it was actually necessary. And after today, who knew if he still had them.

But with Will…

Right now, he knew that he might as well go twist his other ankle if he was going to give up on the chance presented in front of him.

He leaned forward and they kissed. It was electric and better than he remembered. Will groaned at the meeting of lips, and then his rough hand was on the back of Sebastian’s neck, thumb brushing his cheek, deepening the kiss to include tongues. It was moving fast again, just like it had in Will’s apartment last month. Too fast. Like a rollercoaster on shaking rails. Like his bike when he was feeling reckless on hairpin mountain turns. He wanted  _more_. Sebastian moved his hands up and gripped William’s shoulders, pressing himself against him, clinging for dear life.

Will’s arm wrapped around him and Sebastian’s heart pounded with the thrill of it. He pulled back to breathe and Will pressed his forehead against Sebastian’s, panting.

“Let me stay here and see if it gets better,” Sebastian whispered, his fingers rubbing the freshly shaved stubble on Will’s skin. “I…”

Will was quiet, clearly weighing something. Sebastian decided that he owed him  _something_ , especially as he figured the addict admission couldn’t have been easy, no matter the bravado Will exuded every second he took in air.

“I was… really angry when I came down here,” he said.

What kind of confession was that?

Will raised an eyebrow, waiting. Sebastian swallowed and dropped his gaze.

“I uh, have been living life here a certain kind of way, you know,” he pressed on, talking quickly so he wouldn’t lose the thread. “And…you’re sort of like an earthquake to all that.”

Will gave a soft chuckle, now smiling and Sebastian’s heart began to melt. Will the avenging angel? Mouthwatering. Will giving him a self-deprecating smile? Earth-shattering.

“Yeah,” Will muttered, looking to the side and then rubbing his nose. “I’ve been told something like that before.”

Sebastian shifted, careful of his hurt foot as Will adjusted himself, letting him lean into his chest. He didn’t consider himself short; he was above average actually, tall enough to reach things for Abigail, and had never before had a complex about his size. But William was as big as any gridball player he’d ever encountered, and as solid as rock.

“Anyway, I uh. I really didn’t mean to just barge into your place. It’s been abandoned for a while, you know? I’ve cut through old man Joe’s land tons of times to go home. I wasn’t thinking because I was all worked up about stuff.” He glanced around. “Didn’t expect you to have cleared this much of it, actually.”

“What were you mad about Sebastian?”

He rolled his eyes. Of course, Will would go straight to the heart of the matter.

“Give a guy a chance to explain. Jeez, Will.”

“Oh,” William said, and he flexed his arm a bit, holding Sebastian tighter for a second. “I’m Will now?”

Oh shit, when had that happened?

“I uh…”

“You were mad,” Will said, waving him on, taking a drag on his cigarette. “Mad that I’d talked to you in front of people, hmm? Why? It wasn’t like I came onto you. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

This wasn’t coming out right, Sebastian realized. He ashed his smoke but didn’t hit it, just held it, trying to get his thoughts together. He leaned back and to his surprise Will let him, didn’t even stop him from putting space between them. He told himself he was glad about that.

“No, I was mad because you punched Morris.”

Will’s eyebrows climbed.

“Damn,” he said, impressed. “Word travels fast.”

Sebastian grit his teeth. “No shit. That’s what I mean. That’s why I was mad.”

“Mad that I punched that fucker in the gut? Don’t waste the energy Sebastian. That guy had it coming.”

“No! I mean, yeah, but no!”

Will jumped to his feet and threw his hands up. “Then why are you mad?” He shook his head and began to pace, waving his cigarette around. “I don’t get you, Sebastian. You’re a little trouble-chaser and yet the moment someone wants more of what you got to offer—”

“This TOWN!” Sebastian shouted over Will’s rampage of words, slamming his hand down on the old porch in time with the last word. Will’s teeth clicked shut over what he was saying and he faced him, finally still. “It will look at EVERYTHING you do and never let you forget it. Ever.”

Did he get it? What he was agonizing over?

William put his fists on his hips, exasperated.

“Yeah well, fuck them, Sebastian.”

“That is so easy for you to say,” he snapped.

William narrowed his eyes, and then leaned forward. The lunge shocked Sebastian and he leaned back, nearly on his back. William had his arms on either side of him, his body tense above him. He looked up into fierce pools of blue.

“I have seen too much of this world to waste one single fucking second of my life giving a drop of sweat to what it thinks about anything I do, Bastian.”

Then they were kissing again and Sebastian groaned, tossing his cigarette to the side and arching as William’s hands slipped under his hoodie.

“But—”

“Tell me to stop,” Will said, running his hands over Sebastian’s chest. He groaned at the caress, closing his eyes in pleasure.

That seemed, he thought foggily, like a really stupid thing to say.

“I mean it, Sebastian,” Will groaned, and Sebastian shivered as his hand began to caress him through his jeans. “Tell me to stop right now and I will. Tell me to back off.” He squeezed him. “Because if you don’t…”

Rationale. Logic. Reason. Something needed to come to his aid right now or…

“Call me Bastian again,” he said and groaned louder when Will’s hand squeezed him, rubbing him through his pants. Reckless. The whole thing was reckless and wild and totally unlike him. But that was the effect of being around Will. Careful bubble of distance and safety? Shattered. Cautious avoidance of any stimuli painful or uncomfortable? Ignored. Just like when they’d first met, Sebastian chased after him, too entranced to stay away from the fire that would probably burn him.

Then Will’s hands were under his shirt, and he was bare-chested on the porch, his knees nudged apart as Will kissed him, his thumbs rubbing down his hips. His kisses scorched a trail of need down his neck.

“I want to taste you,” Will said, eyes half-closed. Sebastian groaned and threw his head back, the wood underneath them creaking. Will loomed over him, blocking out the sun, which was high in the sky. This was insane. It was near noon and here he was on Will’s front porch, sans shirt, with a hard-on that was doing its best to tent his skinny jeans. He swallowed and Will leaned over, kissing his ear.

“Let me suck that cock, Bastian. Let me make you feel good.”

“Here?”

“Yes. Because I don’t care who sees. Because it’s my land and I can do whatever the hell I want on it.”

He had to be going crazy, he thought fuzzily, but just like when he’d left the bar with him a month ago, his body reacted to Will’s touch. And the suggestion was mind-scrambling. Sebastian was going crazy right along with him.

“Yes,” he whispered.

Will’s mouth crossed his again and this time their tongues met. Will didn’t give him a chance to change his mind and Sebastian sucked in air as Will pulled his jeans down to his knees. His ankle throbbed but not as much as his cock when Will freed it. He shivered and squeezed his eyes shut when he began to massage it.

“Oh, my god…” he whimpered as Will gave it a lick. He looked down and his entire body throbbed when he saw the possessive look that Will gave him, his tongue on his dick as if it was his new favorite toy. Was this what they meant by ‘topping from the bottom’? He couldn’t remember where he’d heard that phrase, but it seemed accurate.

“How does it feel, Bastian?” Will asked, his fist pumping him between licks. “If you like it, you better let me know.”

Sebastian groaned louder, his face flushing. A tiny, sane, kernel of his mind realized how this had to look to anyone walking by. Will was on his knees in the dirt, Sebastian stretched across the steps of the porch, his body on display like a damn XXX-rated video ad. But before he could think too much, Will was sucking on the tip, his tongue doing amazing things. And then, then he was bobbing his head and Sebastian lost his ability to do anything but scream.

It was fast; he’d never cum so fast in his memory. One minute he was trapped in the ecstasy of Will’s mouth, the next he was choking out a warning and hot spurts of cum were splattering his stomach and his thighs and Will’s beard.

He shuddered and gasped, whimpered and then laid back, laying an arm over his eyes.

“Bastian,” Will said, pulling him into his arms. “C’mere, babe.” And then he had him, and everything was better. “Bastian, babe you’re okay.”

He wrapped his arms around Will’s neck and kissed him again.

“I’ve got you, boy. I’ve got you.”

The shaking subsided and Sebastian kissed him again, feeling everything stir once more, not caring that he tasted like salt. Will groaned and kissed him back. Somehow he’d turned them and Sebastian was straddling his hips now, his shoes and jeans and everything else across the porch.

“Will, take me inside, please.”

Later, he decided after Will scooped him up and dragged them both inside his tiny cabin. 

Later, he thought, after they were both naked and Will was kissing him again.

Later, maybe, after he wasn’t screaming into Will’s pillows, their sweat mingling together. 

Maybe later after Will wasn’t shuddering around him, whispering, “Bastian,” over and over again – later he would remember why this had been a terrible fucking idea.

  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 3rd version of this chapter as of November 20, 2017.  
> I recently some betas for this project (Thank You Ginger, you are the best!) and have been going back as I have time over the chapters and fixing as I can.
> 
> I posted the first 15 chapters daily during the beginning of this fic so quality suffered due to quantity. However, we're still rocking along and I appreciate all the love and support!
> 
> Even though this project is long and months old, every comment, kudo, bookmark, and recommendation still encourages me. Feedback is food for this lil' author so if you like it, I don't know unless you tell me. ;)
> 
> You can always hit me up at Tumblr and leave an ask! I'm very social and love to talk. 
> 
> Enjoy the rest! <3


	8. Flashbacks and Whiplash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they did not live happily ever after.

The heat was like being cooked from the outside in. Their hole was in the shade and the sun was going down, but within a few hours they’d all be huddled together, waiting the long, freezing hours through this bullshit posting. Around them in the twilight darkness of the Gotoro jungle unfamiliar animals screamed and cried. His men were restless, which meant he was lounging as if this were a picnic.

Staff Sergeant William Bauer was just as miserable as the rest of them, but a commanding officer never looked anything but relaxed. His squad had been parked in this hole after reports of enemy movement on the border. The Gotoro detachments had shelled three Ferngill bases last month leading to over fifty casualties. Intelligence had insisted that another attack was coming through This Pass, damn it.

He and his men had spent a week humping their gear and mortars down here, to secure the border.

Nine other teams were stretched over the line of jungle insanity, as if the natives somehow were going to be stopped by their small strategic placements. He didn’t know. He wasn’t a commissioned officer and wasn’t paid enough to know.

The last twenty-two days had been as quiet as a silk whisper. There had been no further orders, so here they were – waiting for attack.

Four men played blackjack on one side of their hole. William’s communication officer and second-in-command, Max, was smoking and reading a letter from his kid. The paper was faded where he’d folded and unfolded it; he had to have had it memorized by now. The rest of his men were catching sleep; they’d have the later watch, and all wore masks over their eyes to keep out the dreary sun.

“This assignment is bullshit,” Max muttered, closing the letter up and slipping it into his shirt. “Has command updated orders yet, Sarge?”

 _Are we there yet, Sarge?_  Like damn children on a road trip.

William ignored the question. Griping was the god-given right of any soldier, and any officer that gave two shits about it was doomed to a life of misery. His boyfriend, a sarcastic medic back at base, had teased him about being part rock when it came to caring about job-related discomfort.

_“I swear, Bauer,” Cameron had said, rubbing his shoulders. “You are a peach. You pretend to be soft but your heart is as hard as a fruit pit.”_

“We keep to orders,” William told Max, trying to remember exactly how Cameron’s face had looked when he’d left him last month.

Max rolled his eyes then went back to cleaning his equipment. It was spotless and dry, but there wasn’t much else to do.

William’s eyes skimmed the area, alert in body but mentally he was reliving moments with Cameron. Whatever info Intelligence had claimed, the land around them made no sense for a border crossing. Their position was defensible and unless the Gotoros knew how to tunnel underneath them – something that seemed impossible in the swampy jungle – they’d be seen. He figured the guys parked near the Mines were going to see most of the action. They just had to hold out until Command got tired of waiting on them and needed them to come back. It was almost a month of field work, so relief had to be coming soon. Then maybe he could go somewhere  _nice_ , show Cam a good time instead of frenzied hours between assignments.

One of the card-playing men scowled and threw his cards on the table. Across him his buddy cackled, raking over the MRE-issued candies into his helmet. William watched as the cursing player pulled out a cigarette pack and a match. They broke up their card game, and William got a crawling feeling in his gut as he watched the private light the match. He lit one, two, and then three cigarettes off the flame before it petered out.

Three on a match.

Bad luck that.

He’d no sooner had the thought when he saw a flicker of movement above him. He looked up to see a Gotoro assassin squad glaring down at them from an inhumanly high tree branch, and heard a ‘thump’.  
  
“BOMB!”

But it wasn’t enough time.

The explosion was the end of life as he knew it.

William had thought, as he burned in the hole with his men, that he’d have known  _it_  was coming. Would have seen death and given her the finger as he went down, guns blazing.

 After all, they’d been positioned to see it all, positioned to act at the first sign of movement, but he’d been wrong and hadn’t seen shit. Corporal Justin’s leg flew across his torso. Mud plopped around them and his face felt like it was on fire. He turned his head in time to see the corporal’s blank eyes staring back at him.

Everything hurt.

Everything was blurry.

He wanted to vomit.

When he was able to focus his ringing thoughts, their foxhole was blown into a crater. Their equipment, their belongings, all of it was on fire or shattered into pieces. He pushed himself up to his elbows and his body screamed in agony, the first true encounter he’d ever had with pain.

William gritted his teeth and pushed through it. Max was trapped underneath a pile of rock and dirt, and as if the hateful jungle had known how to make the world worse, it began to rain.

Max was trying to crawl out, his face muddy and screwed up in pain, his fingers digging into mud that only curled underneath his hands, giving him no purchase. William’s internal gibbering idiot was drop-kicked in a hole and that cold core of his willpower took over – discipline and training stepping over the human side to ensure survival.

With a curse at moving his aching body, he leaned over, gripped Max by hands that clutched back at him, and pulled him inch by inch out of the mud pit. His body screamed. Max screamed louder. William’s face screwed up in agony as he dug his heels into the mud, reclaiming his comrade. The rain was disorienting, mingling the shadows of the jungle with shadows of troop movements above them. He was probably breaking Max’s fingers, but he wasn’t going to let him go.

Around him some of his command was starting to get up. Some were still alive! There was a chance.

“RETREAT,” William ordered, his Sergeant’s voice shooting through his men like the finger of God, pushing them into action in this moment of absolute chaos.

“RETREAT. MOVE. MOVE. MOVE.” There was no panic in the barked words, and his boys stumbled and helped each other. William hauled up Max and tried to put him over his shoulder but there was something wrong with his collar bone. He hissed. Max’s legs were limp and the communications officer moaned.

“Don’t fucking check out, Liccandi,” he snapped, as he backed step-by-step out of their bombed out shelter.

“Yes sir,” Max slurred, head lolling about on his neck. He was definitely concussed. Shit.

Just as they’d begun to retreat out of the hole, the rat-a-tat of gunfire began to pop off and as a unit they all hit the dirt.

“Stay with me, Max!” William yelled into the man’s ear. Max was a heavy sack of dead weight but William had gotten his feet to move, adrenaline pumping through him. He was going to get Max back to his kid. He was going to get his men back home.

If he wanted it hard enough, he wouldn’t fail.

There was another thump behind him, and with a shattering ‘boom’ the world went black.

*

Sebastian shifted in his sleep as Will groaned next to him. He was stretched out next to him in his too-small bed, naked and feeling… _glorious_. He glanced around and propped himself up on his elbows, yawning. He must have napped after their tryst, he realized, his mind hazy. He smiled and covered his face for a moment, feeling absolutely stupid by how good he felt right now.

And William had wanted him to say no? He turned his head. Will’s face was grim, his arms crossed in his sleep, small twitches on his cheeks and lips. Sebastian cocked his head and really  _looked_  at him.

The last time they’d been like this it had been dark, and the next morning Sebastian had been so freaked out and nervous he hadn’t really explored Will’s body.

Across his collarbone was a tattooed eagle in the colors of the Ferngill Republic’s flag, talons clutching broken swords and cracked guns, all of them Gotoro make. Its beak was bloody, and in scrollwork underneath he could read, “This We’ll Defend.” On his right shoulder was an artistically rendered peach, rotting with bugs crawling from it. It was grotesquely beautiful, as if the peach were bleeding out pink juice all the way to the core. Skulls on one side, nine of them, all with hideous smiles and army ranks and initials next to their names.

He frowned and shifted, straightening his leg out. He experimentally wiggled his injured ankle. Only a twinge of pain. Yup, not too badly hurt.

He leaned forward and gripped Will’s right shoulder, intending to wake him with a gentle shake when the man came out of the bed like a shot, eyes rolling like dice, face locked in a grimace of panic.

Sebastian jerked back, frightened by the sudden movement. Will’s teeth were clenched and his nostrils flared. He looked wild-eyed around the room for a moment, and then inhaled, calming himself with rhythmic breathing.

Sebastian swallowed, carefully waving a hand at him.

“Will?”

Will scrubbed his face with one hand and nodded at him, then turned away and walked into the bathroom.

Sebastian felt abandoned. He pulled the sheets around himself, covering up some of the exposure. The sink was going in the bathroom, then after a few seconds it cut off. William came back in, face and beard dripping with water. Sebastian’s stomach knotted. Had it been that bad?

“So,” he said, unsure of what they were going to do from here.

Will’s eyes were distant, as if they were someplace else. At Sebastian’s words he squeezed them shut, then refocused on him. Sebastian felt locked in place and Will’s intensity made his heart race. His gaze remained steady, as if he were trying to find purchase on shifting sands. Then Will smirked, that familiar amusement that always seemed to shadow him, as if the whole world were a private joke that only he could enjoy. Like it was a mask he was pulling on.

“Hey yourself.”

*

It took a few minutes to re-ground himself. He wasn’t back there. He was here. He was on safe land, in his grandfather’s cabin with Sebastian. Who, only a few hours ago, had become his Bastian. On the bed his lover was looking forlorn, confused with the blankets wrapped around him like a shield. Guilt pricked him and he locked down his baggage. He could deal with it later.

 _Smooth move, shithead_ , William chided himself as he crossed the room and sat down on the bed next to Sebastian. He hadn’t had a flashback that intense in a few years was all… not even when he’d been going through rehab. He wondered absently what had triggered it as he threw an arm around Sebastian’s shoulders, pulling him back close.

“You okay?” Sebastian kept the blanket around him like a cape, hiding his pale skin and slender shoulders. Well, not _that_ slender. William sidestepped the question and grinned, rubbing one of Sebastian’s arms.

“You hiding these guns from me?” He squeezed the bicep, running his hand up the shoulder. He leaned forward and kissed the bare skin there. At the feel of his beard against his collarbone Sebastian shivered, then pulled away, sputtering.

“Guns? Please. If these are guns, you’re carrying around tanks.”

William tossed his head back, laughing. Sebastian blushed and turned away, slipping out of his arms and experimentally putting weight on his ankle. He wore his sheet like a toga. He tested the leg, but even as his face grimaced he said, “Sore, but holding me up.”

He turned and stuck his tongue out at Will, then gave a ‘told-you-so’ smirk. Confidence was a sexy look on his Bastian.

“Looks like I didn’t need the doctor after all,” he said, fishing his clothes off the floor. William vaguely remembered rescuing Sebastian’s clothes from the porch during a breather between their sexual explorations. William was still bare-ass naked, unconcerned by proprieties such as clothing. Just as Sebastian reached his underwear, William reached over and pulled on the sheet, making him pinwheel his arms as he fell back into the bed. He cackled as he rolled them both into a burrito in the narrow bed.

“I don’t recall asking you to leave,” he teased.

Sebastian shifted, flushing and panting. “Will,” he whispered, blushing harder.

How the man could blush after the things they’d been doing to one another, William wasn’t sure he understood. He liked it though. He’d make him blush again if he could.

“What? Tired of me already?”

“It’s not that. C’mon you big lug, let me up.”

“Fine,” William said, grumpy, loosening his grip. As if he’d been burned, Sebastian scrambled back out. William focused on his injured foot, but it held his weight without any visible pain. Sebastian coughed and William snapped his eyes back up to his face.

Sebastian was hyper-focused on getting dressed and wouldn’t look at him. “Look,” he said. “About this…”

William’s eyebrows raised. “About what?”

Sebastian waved between the two of them as he settled his shorts.

William’s eyebrows raised more when he didn’t elaborate. “About fucking each other? About that, Bastian?”

Sebastian’s back tensed and he glared over his shoulder.

“Do you have a secret ability to cheapen every conversation by being as crude as possible?”

“Not really a secret, babe,” William said, cocking his head, eyes roaming over Sebastian’s body. “And I call a spade a spade.”

“Fucking? That’s all this was?” The muscles in Sebastian’s neck were visible. His tone was soft, like velvet over a dagger.

William straightened, instincts screaming that he was on fragile ground. His breathless lover was giving off the same calming body language as a pinless-grenade.

“Um. Yeah? I mean, don’t get me wrong – it’s really great fucking.”

“So,” Sebastian snapped, pulling on his jeans – such tight jeans. “That’s it? We hook up and no strings?”

William relaxed, grinning. Was Sebastian afraid that he couldn’t commit? Well, he could nip that shit in the bud.

“I’m cool with strings.”

Sebastian froze, the words clearly not what he was expecting.

William swung his legs out of the bed, getting frustrated. It was like trying to walk a minefield with no signs of the buried motherfuckers. He tried again.

“Unless you don’t want strings?”

“I didn’t say that!” he snapped, putting his shirt on inside-out and sitting on the bed to put his shoes on.

William sighed. His greedy lover had gone from purring pet to angry hedgehog.

“Bastion, babe, you’re not saying much of anything.”

“I’m thinking okay! Just. I’m thinking.”

Will shook his head and stood, figuring he might as well be dressed if they were going to quarrel. “Okay. Okay. Look, I’m not trying to pick a fight.”

“Aren’t you though? You didn’t even think about what it would mean to have strings.”

“It would mean,” William said, pulling on jeans and scanning the floor for his shirt, “what it means. We date. We hang out.” He gave him a smoky look. “And we do more of what we did this afternoon.” He reached over to rub Sebastian’s shoulder. “Sounds great.”

Sebastian was quick, sidestepping. Yup, that ankle was working just fucking great.

“And what will the town say, huh?”

“That…wait, what?” William felt like he had whiplash.

“Exactly!” Sebastian said, pointing at him. “You don’t know. They will churn us through the gossip mill.”

“Dude, why do you care?” William scratched the back of his head, trying to follow the bizarre trail this beautiful man seemed intent on blazing.

“Because!” Sebastian cried, slapping the back of his hand into his palm, “Because in a place like this, everything is fodder. They’re going to take one look at the two of us together and then we’ll be the town freaks.” He found his hoodie and jerked it over his head, but William could hear the rest of it. “The town emo hermit and the violent sasquatch. Makes me sick.”

He felt like he’d been slapped. The blows just kept coming with this guy.

“So, you don’t want anyone to know.” Because he was ashamed.

Sebastian frowned and looked at the ground. “Basically.”

It was all such petty bullshit. Hide who they were because of  _appearances_. They were alive today. They were healthy and had the potential for something amazing, and he wanted to hide because of fear. William shook his head, fists balling. This milk-faced moron had no idea what true fear was. Some small town neighbor’s stupid opinions had no chance of changing their lives. For a moment, mud was in his nose, screams in his ears. That was replaced by the blood pounding through his chest and head. He glared at Sebastian and with vitriol spit out, “Well,  _fuck you then_.”

Sebastian’s head snapped up. William had smoothed his shirt down and was fishing his belt through the loops of his jeans, but never let up his glare. He wanted Sebastian to see how mad he’d made him.

“What?”

William’s movements were sharp and correct, belt straightened, sleeves rolled down and cuffed at his wrists. “You don’t get to come over to my house, use me for a good roll, then be ashamed of me right after.”

Sebastian’s face drained of color. “I never said that.”

“You might as well have!” William shouted. “Because would it be SO BAD for them to know you’re dating me?!”

Sebastian flinched. William opened and closed his fists, frustrated. How did they get from that frenzied intimacy to this...distance?

“I should go.”

“Yeah,” William snapped, opening the door into the darkening world. “You really fucking should.”

Sebastian pulled his hood up over his head and slinked out. William slammed the door shut. He stared at the house with its sparse décor and wrinkled bed. Sheets that were going to smell just like him and Sebastian. He stalked over, reaching and ripping his mattress off the bed, scattering it and the bedding across the room. It shifted the bed frame and made a satisfying crash.

But it didn’t make him feel any better.

  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the 3rd version of this chapter as of November 20, 2017.  
> I recently some betas for this project (Thank You Ginger, you are the best!) and have been going back as I have time over the chapters and fixing as I can.
> 
> I posted the first 15 chapters daily during the beginning of this fic so quality suffered due to quantity. However, we're still rocking along and I appreciate all the love and support!
> 
> Even though this project is long and months old, every comment, kudo, bookmark, and recommendation still encourages me. Feedback is food for this lil' author so if you like it, I don't know unless you tell me. ;)
> 
> You can always hit me up at Tumblr and leave an ask! I'm very social and love to talk. 
> 
> Enjoy the rest! <3


	9. (Seb)mentation Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for anxiety attacks, panic attacks and depression
> 
>  
> 
> In which Sebastian has a Bad Time.

Sebastian.exe was not running at full optimization.

His ankle was throbbing, sending sharp pain with every step.

The pain was good, he decided. It gave him something to interrupt the rolling chaotic spin of anguish/lust/anxiety/fury that was running through his brain. Nothing made sense.

_I slept with him again_  was a prevalent thought.  _It had been so good._  But that was chased and blocked by _He has no respect for our privacy_. Which was then written over by  _He doesn’t just shut up and LISTEN_ , which was chased through once more by  _I can’t believe I did that._ Segmentation Fault. Brain logic centers crashing.

Each step was punctuated by a throb from his foot. Each inhale of air was blocked by jittery spasms his throat was making.

Crying. He was sucking in air, staring straight along the path home and crying like a stupid fucking kid.

He stood still for a moment and tried to calm down, rubbing his face. He was twenty-four fucking years old. He was a goddamned adult and he was running home,  _crying_ , like it was elementary school again.

He stopped at the entrance to the old spa, blocked off from a rockslide weeks ago.

He shuddered as flickers of old mistakes tried to mingle with his current mess and turned away, standing behind a tree and holding himself. He laid his face on the rough bark and took in a breath.

He ordered himself to stop right now. He had to find the anger again, the anger that usually burned out any crying. Crying was a useless and futile activity that only let his enemies know when he was weak. It didn’t make anything better.

Crying hadn’t brought his dad back.

He shoved that unwelcome memory file right back to the recycle bin he’d buried it in and began to just focus on breathing. And pain.

Yes. He could focus on those two things and walk into his house like a normal, non-crying, non-homosexually active grown-up.

First step – straighten out what he was allowed to think about until he got home safe.

He could think about the fact that William was a naïve moron, who thought that just because the world he’d been a part of didn’t pay attention to his activities that he could apply the same rules everywhere else.

He could think about how quickly William had snapped to judgment when he’d tried to explain.

He could think about what a horny, stupid, bonehead he’d been to Not Say No. That thought was good. Self-directed hatred was familiar and comforting.

Sebastian inhaled and was rewarded with a full breath sans throat hitching. Excellent Progress.

Second step – lock down the thoughts he was marking as Forbidden.

He would NOT think or remember anything to do with how good they’d been together. His carefully won control slipped and he swallowed back a rebellious sob. Nope. And he wouldn’t think of how William had called him  _Bastian_. He wouldn’t think about all the ways he’d felt cherished underneath him. And he refused to think about how safe and accepted he’d felt in those heavy arms.

Tears burned but he banished them, blotting up the excess moisture with his sleeve. Rubbing would make his face red and therefore noticeable. Another deep breath, lungs and diaphragm supplying oxygen, and then, he encrypted all those Forbidden thoughts in his mental hard drive.  Accessible, but only if you knew the public key.

He waited a few more minutes until he was _sure_ if someone spoke to him that he could keep it together.

Third step – Sebastian moved his feet and finished his walk home. By the time he’d gotten through the door, he could smell food; parsnip soup. His mom must have been cooking. He tried to make the turn towards his room, in absolutely no mood to socialize, but Maru caught sight of him from the lab and waved.

“Sebastian! Hey! You’re home in time for dinner.”

His head was scrambled. He was raw outside and in; not ideal company for anyone. Yet his mental exercises held. He counted backwards from pi.

Maru smiled, hope tingeing her face. Maybe his self-control was working too well.

“Mom got me a cake to celebrate the acceptance letter.”

Fuck. That was right. She’d gotten into that exclusive online college. He let out a breath and an Abigail-sound bite flashed through his brain.

_You’ve been such an asshole_.

It was a guilt trap, sprung right at the worst possible time. Could he make it? Could he do one non-fucked up thing today?

“Sure. Yeah.” He held onto his brave face. “Dinner. C’mon.”

Maru looked surprised then grinned, her nose wrinkling around her glasses. His sister had his mom’s smile, all wide and contagious. Too bad her dad sucked.

“Great!” She gushed. “C’mon!” She turned towards the kitchen, calling, “Dad! Set another plate! Sebastian just got home.”

He let her get her distance. He grit his teeth and let out the breath through his nose. Nope. William wasn’t going to win tonight. He was not going to let the events of this afternoon, as fucked as they were, chase him downstairs. Not yet.

He focused on strong and even steps. Maru was a medical assistant and would have spotted any strange limp in his gait. He’d do dinner for 30 minutes then retreat. The family would be satisfied, and he’d have bought himself days of good will to get back into his own routine.

His mom beamed at him, red hair frizzy from the spring humidity.

“Welcome home, Sebby,” she said, her eyes shining. “We’re really glad you got home so soon! How are Sam and Abigail?”

“Yeah, didn’t you have band practice today?” Demetrius offered, putting a plate down in front of him.

Sebastian nodded and began passing food around as everyone settled. “Yup. Went fine. How was work Maru?”

Her eyes widened as if remembering something interesting.

“Oh, I’m glad you asked! We had Morris in the office today. Broken nose and cracked rib.”

His mom gasped and Sebastian felt ice run down his neck. His precious mental blocks buckled.

Fuck. In the tumult of his own love life, he’d completely forgotten that of course Maru would have seen the results of William’s temper. The ice solidified into the pit of his stomach, souring the first bite of soup.

“Oh my goodness,” his mom said, concern lacing her voice as she spooned parsnip chunks into her bowl. “What in the world happened?”

Maru grinned, excited to be the center of attention.

“Well,” she said, her voice dropping a bit to a conspiratorial level. “According to Morris, Pierre hired that farmer guy to come beat him up.”

His mom and Demetrius exchanged a look across the table and then both, as if reading the same script, glanced over at Sebastian. The broth in his throat stuck and nearly choked him. He kept his face neutral, like a mask of indifference.

“What?”

“Didn’t he talk to you last night at the bar?” she asked, brows knit. “Sebastian, did that guy threaten you?”

“You talked to him?” Maru interrupted, excited. “Oh my gosh, is he as big as everyone says he is? I heard he has a beard longer than that homeless guy’s.”

Sebastian’s stomach gave a warning roll at the sudden third degree line of questioning. The parsnips tasted like chalk and he wondered if his ankle could handle it if he rushed from the table to go lock himself downstairs.

“Ladies,” Demetrius chided. “He’s got his mouth full, goodness.”

Maru looked sheepish, then took a big bite of her bread and soup. His mom was still locked onto him though – had to be her weird mom sense knowing that there was something up. His mind whirled furiously. Finally he swallowed and gave the best excuse he could think of.

“Um, he smelled like fertilizer was all. That’s why I left so quickly.”

Maru let out a laugh, and immediately Sebastian’s ears burned with the lie.

His mom rolled her eyes. “Oh dear, he’s a farmer. Of course he smelled like...” She hesitated, unwilling to say ‘shit’. “Well, like manure. It makes the plants grow after all.” She shook her head and went back to her dinner. “Old man Joe lived like a bachelor over at that farm. That house is ancient, and the walls? The bathroom must be over twenty years old, and don’t even get me started on the piping situation that far out. If it weren’t for the springs, I don’t know how we’d even get running water up there.”

Demetrius, damn it, didn’t look like he bought the story, but after a moment of heart-stopping scrutiny, shrugged and let it go.

“Well. So you’re sure Maru? You’re sure it was William who broke Morris’s nose?”

“Oh, definitely,” she said. “Penny and I were hanging out after work and according to Vincent, Abigail had a video of the whole thing.”

“Goodness. Video proof? Do you think someone should go tell the Mayor?” his mom asked, her spoon frozen. Sebastian’s heart stopped at the question.

“Won’t do any good, Robin,” Demetrius said with a scoff. “Lewis and Joseph Bauer were close. No way has he hit his grandson with the law.”

The cardiac muscle resumed beating and Sebastian took another nauseating bite of his dinner.

“Well,” Maru said, “I’m going to be avoiding him, that’s for sure. Just attacking people because they are passing out coupons? A little dangerous.”

He should say something, he thought as he stirred his spoon through his soup. He should tell them that they were wrong. He should say that while rough around the edges, Will wasn’t like that. He even opened his mouth, inhaled, and then closed it, a wave of nausea hitting even harder. His previously dry mouth began to fill with that awful too-wet feeling, the sign that this was actually not a drill.

“Good plan, sweetheart,” Demetrius said, and Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed.

“I’m full,” he muttered, standing.

They all looked surprised.

“But Sebby, you hardly touched your dinner.”

His stomach cramped, as if it wanted to prove that he had indeed eaten.

“Nah mom, it was great.” Then he had to go, because otherwise he was going to make a huge scene and he didn’t want that.

Sheer force of will got him downstairs and into his bathroom before he made a mess on everything. He heaved and shook, all the emotions he’d repressed earlier surging up, as if by rejecting his dinner, he would somehow be able to process the feelings too.

He kicked his bathroom door shut and heaved and sobbed. Will’s face, previously banished to the Forbidden Zone, was etched behind his eyes.

_Get the fuck out._

Will had been furious and hurt when he said that.

Sebastian had done that; had fucked up the first person he’d ever had  _that_  sort of connection with. He felt empty and shuddery – his ankle helpfully throbbing in reminder of how many bad decisions he’d made, all in one day. He was a fucking overachiever of fuck-ups.

After what felt like a hundred years, he got up and turned off all the lights in his room. He fell into bed fully clothed and completely soaked in misery.

  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In computer coding there is a specific type of error called a Segmentation Fault that occurs when a compiler is trying to run too many variables at once. I thought it apt.
> 
> This is the 2rd version of this chapter as of November 20, 2017.  
> I recently some betas for this project (Thank You Ginger, you are the best!) and have been going back as I have time over the chapters and fixing as I can.
> 
> I posted the first 15 chapters daily during the beginning of this fic so quality suffered due to quantity. However, we're still rocking along and I appreciate all the love and support!
> 
> Even though this project is long and months old, every comment, kudo, bookmark, and recommendation still encourages me. Feedback is food for this lil' author so if you like it, I don't know unless you tell me. ;)
> 
> You can always hit me up at Tumblr and leave an ask! I'm very social and love to talk. 
> 
> Enjoy the rest! <3


	10. AA is for Quitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Healthy coping mechanisms are so overrated.

It was an unfortunate side-effect of William’s lofty sobriety goals that there was no beer, no wine, and no liquor in his house. He had grimly dug through all the boxes in the storage shed and come up empty. Mantras from his last 12-step program echoed through his head:  _“I am powerless over heroin and my life has become unmanageable.”_

Well. He wasn’t trying to find heroin, now was he?

Still, he was fucking powerless to make any decent human connections based on shared intimacy, because apparently he was an embarrassment. Not just an embarrassment, but a  _sickening_  embarrassment. Sebastian was probably at home throwing up out of William-induced-mortification.

 He kicked another empty box, furious with himself.

This was probably his fault. He’d gone too hard. Too fast. Too intense. He should have taken it slow. He shouldn’t have jumped Sebastian’s bones like he was a pogo stick. He was such an utter fuck-up.

He paced, claustrophobic in the storage room. He stomped outside into the dark farm and started walking.

There was a pond not far away. He could just walk straight there and step in. He’d only been here a week and no one would go looking for him. No one would give a shit. His parents would just…

_Have to bury their only son_.

He slowed and let out a breath.

“Yoba grant me the serenity,” he murmured, slowing and focusing. “To accept the things I cannot change.”

This was utter bullshit. To be this messed up over a guy. To be an utter pansy-ass over having his dick wet. He’d had plenty of one-night stands turn into repeat affairs that hadn’t left him feeling like a carcass of a man.

_Call me Bastian again…_

He groaned, wishing he could get a drill and remove that voice from his ears. He kept walking, eyes on the trees. So maybe, just maybe, he’d try and live another day – but he wasn’t ready to go back to his house and face the bed he’d stupidly made love to Sebastian in.

And it had been making love. One-sided, frenzied, reckless love.

Step 4 of the 12 Steps:  _Make a searching and fearless moral inventory._  Or, in his own words, don’t lie to yourself about your actions, Fuckwit.

And the truth was, he’d known what he was doing. He’d thought, for some reason, that Sebastian had known too. That maybe he’d realized their connection, that their weird mutual hard-ons were not normal. Most guys…it felt like a hygienic function. Go forth young gay and suck dick. Move on with your day after you have both scratched your itch.

But Sebastian wasn’t like the other lays. He didn’t wipe himself clean and slap William on the back like they’d just completed a competitive grid ball game. Instead he’d clung and whimpered, like he’d fall apart without it.

At least, that’s how it felt.

He stopped when he got down to the southern pond, right at the top of the dock. Someone else was sitting at the edge, feet dangling. William frowned, not really wanting to socialize, but he heard the magical sound of a beer tab.

His sponsors hadn’t believed him when he’d said he wasn’t an alcoholic. An addict is an addict, no matter their substance. But William was pragmatic. A drunken hour or two had nowhere near the life-destroying effects that his opioid use had damaged him with. He decided to try and make a new buddy. If nothing else, there would be no beer and he’d go home.

“Who’s there?”

He waved a hand, stepping closer.

“Hey man, it’s William. I live up at the farm now.”

The man turned his head and William thought that he’d seen him at the bar the other day, nursing a cold one in the corner. They regarded each other.

“You look like shit, dude.”

“And you look like dogfuck.”

They stared at one another, neither of them changing facial expression until William gave a snort-laugh. Then the man couldn’t hold it in and started laughing too. He waved him to have a seat. “Okay, fine. Public dock. You want one?”

“More than anything. Thanks.”

William caught the can of Blue Ribbon Jojabrew and copped a squat next to Mr. Dogfuck. They didn’t meet eyes, just gazing at the lake. William didn’t bother breaking the silence, his mind too busy chewing over all the ways he’d fucked things up with Sebastian. He kept rolling back to initiating sex. He shouldn’t have tried to get intimate again. Getting dicks involved had been the source of all the anger. All the messed up feelings. If he could have done it over, he’d have thrown the emo little twink over his shoulder and dropped him off at the clinic, whether he’d wanted him to or not.

“Bad day,” his drinking buddy said into the silence. William grunted. His buddy nodded, drinking again.

“You?” William asked.

“Just another day of being a fuck-up.”

William reached over and tapped his can to the man’s. “I’ll drink to that.”

They drank and stared at the sky together. Finally, they were both holding empties and with a toss, Shane threw his can out into the pond. It splashed at least six feet away.

“Bet you that next beer I can throw it harder,” William offered. His buddy smirked then nodded his head out. William squinted. “I’ll make it to that log.”

“The fuck you will.”

“Bet me.”

“Okay, if you win, I buy the next six-pack. If you lose, you do.”

“Fair a deal as I’ve ever heard.”

William aimed, narrowed his eyes, reared his arm back and threw.

He missed by four feet. They both broke out laughing at the clumsy toss. His drinking buddy was guffawing at the failure so hard, he started to lean over the side of the dock. William snatched the man’s hoodie to keep him from falling into the pond, and with a quick pinch pulled him upright. They stopped laughing for a minute and stared at each other, wide-eyed at the close call – then burst into chortles again.

After a few minutes, the man wiped his eyes and nodded. “You’re alright, Farmer dude.”

William turned and offered his hand. “William.”

The man hesitated then shrugged, shaking back. “Shane. Town fuck-up.”

“I don’t know man, I might be fighting you for that title.” William popped two beers off the six-pack ring that was sitting next to him and offered one to Shane. They popped them together then went back to stoic, manly silence.

Halfway through his beer, Shane let out a breath.

“My job sucks.”

“Yeah?” William leaned back on his elbow, feet dangling from the dock. “Where you stuck at, bro?”

“Fucking Joja Mart. Hate that place.”

“So quit.”

Shane shook his head, leaning forward, his elbow on his knees. “Can’t. Gotta take care of my goddaughter. Her dad and mom…they’re gone, so poor kid just has me.” He let out a belch that William rewarded with a slow clap.

Shane play-punched him in the shoulder and William grinned at him.

They drank some more.

“Fucking rough roll of the dice, dude.”

Shane nodded, finishing his beer. “Feel bad for her man. She’s the one dealing with my fucked-up ass.”

“Yeah? Well. At least she’s got someone. Better than having no one, even if all she’s got is you.”

Shane didn’t argue with him, but he didn’t agree either. William sucked more cheap beer down until he began to get the beginnings of a buzz. Emboldened by his liquid champion, he decided to share – it was only sportsmanlike.

“I keep trying to stick my dick in crazy. So you know, nothing as bad.”

Shane choked on his beer and laughed. William turned his head and grinned with him.  _It’s all just a joke. William doesn’t take anything seriously guys. It’s all hilarious, really._

“Dude, where did you even come from?”

“Zuzu City. Land of fake everything.”

Shane grinned then looked back up at the sky. In a musing tone he said, “At least stuff happens there.”

“If by stuff you mean useless shit, then sure.” Now it was William’s turn to belch. “It’s a happening place.”

More silence. More empties. More thrown cans. Two more popped tops and they toasted again. Finally, halfway through the last of the cans, Shane said, “You know, tomorrow is a new day n’ shit. New mistakes and all.”

“Yeah? Thanks. Same to you.”

Shane nodded, eyes off on the distance. “And maybe it won’t suck so bad.”

William grunted and they both sipped the beers, both thinking their own thoughts in the springtime night. Finally, he crumpled his empty can and skipped it like a stone out on the lake. Shane raised an eyebrow, then skipped his for six hops longer.

“Show off.”

“City-slicker.”

William shook his head, stretched, and clapped Shane on the back.

“Next round is on me, man.”

Shane got up too, letting William haul him up. “Good, cuz, you drank half my beer.”

William grinned. “Like I said. Givin’ you a run for your money for that badge of Town Fuck-Up. Gimme time to catch up.”

Shane nodded. “Keep sticking your dick in weird places and you’ll get it.”

William cackled and they walked off the dock together, not touching, not doing more than just nodding to one another as William went north to the farm.

He was pleasantly drunk. All the sharp edges that had cut so deep had fuzzed out enough that he could get his mind around them.

He walked through the woods and into the house. He waited as Ingrid trotted inside in front of him, already the fuzzy queen of his farm. He turned on the light and sighed.

His mattress, pillows and bed frame were akimbo. He’d knocked over a table, but somehow his TV was, miraculously, not broken. He made unsteady progress cleaning up the chaos but eventually managed to get the furniture straightened out. TV back on table. Bed back in corner. Mattress off of floor.

He left the sheets bunched underneath the table. Ingrid, not bothered by the mingled smell of Sebastian and William, purred as she curled up into the pile.

He collapsed on the bare mattress and put an arm over his eyes, too tired to shut off the light.

Tomorrow was a new day, huh?

Looked like he was going to see it after all.

  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thank you to EVERYONE who has commented! I have been cheered and buoyed by your support as I dig my way through my weird ass obsession with these two.
> 
> This is the 2rd version of this chapter as of November 20, 2017.  
> I recently some betas for this project (Thank You Ginger, you are the best!) and have been going back as I have time over the chapters and fixing as I can.
> 
> I posted the first 15 chapters daily during the beginning of this fic so quality suffered due to quantity. However, we're still rocking along and I appreciate all the love and support!
> 
> Even though this project is long and months old, every comment, kudo, bookmark, and recommendation still encourages me. Feedback is food for this lil' author so if you like it, I don't know unless you tell me. ;)
> 
> You can always hit me up at Tumblr and leave an ask! I'm very social and love to talk. 
> 
> Enjoy the rest! <3


	11. Three out of Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> William reaches for a higher power. Sebastian knows Sam is the highest power he'll ever get.

Sebastian woke up on Sunday feeling like he’d been hit by a truck. His head throbbed and his mouth tasted like ass. Dehydration, his logical mind pointed out. Exhaustion.

How long had he slept?

He sat up, fished his phone out from his jeans, and scowled. It was dead. He plugged it in and got up – then nearly hit the floor when his ankle Noped right the hell out, weak underneath the strain of his weight. He sat down with a groan, then shoved himself onto his good foot, balanced, and limped to his bathroom.

An ugly asshole stared back at him. He avoided contact with his own eyes and turned on the sink. He didn’t need to see the proof of how bad his night had been. Visuals only overloaded what the body was telling him.

He didn’t have to see that he had red eyes and a pale face. He could feel that his hair was greasy and that it hung in strings over his eyes. Forget hit by a truck; it felt like he’d stepped in front of the city bus.

 _Probably deserve to be run over,_ he thought.

He brushed his teeth, rinsed his mouth, washed his face and went back into his bedroom, turning on a light. His phone was blinking on the other side of the room, finally juiced enough to come on.

On the screen, Sam and Abby made a stupid pose while holding wooden swords. It was from a gaming convention they’d gone to last year: Abby cosplaying her Solorian character, complete with healer’s robes and a staff his mom had helped her carve. Over their faces were alerts dinging him through the messaging apps.

Sam.  
Abby.  
Sam.  
Sam.  
Abby.  
Sam. Sam. Sam.

He rolled his eyes and opened the messaging app.

He skimmed through the text wall, then hit “see most recent message”. It was a diatribe from Sam on how he never answered his texts. He hobbled over to his chair and sat heavily onto the stool. He ran his thumbs over the screen and hit send.

“You awake?”

No response. He waited another second, then put it down to turn on his computer. Just as his monitor showed the boot screen, his phone dinged.

“Where the hell were you last night? We called and you never picked up.”

He rubbed his face, then resolutely texted back.

“I’m in trouble dude. Had a bad time last night.”

He looked down at his foot and tried to think of how he could pass off the swelling.

_Joint injuries aren’t a joke._

It wasn’t fair for Will to be right about this, he thought, scowling. Then his phone buzzed again.

“I’m on my way over.”

Sebastian swallowed, feeling like shit all over again. It was so sad that Sam had been tricked into being his friend, because quite honestly he didn’t feel like he deserved it.

*

Sunday morning came and William was still breathing. His routine was normal: get up. Water plants. Chop wood and break up more of the rocks. Sweep up debris. It was only during this activity that he froze, his time with Sebastian crashing into his imposed responsibilities.

There was a pinched cigarette butt on his porch. He stared at the offensive reminder of Sebastian’s lips. This was what he got for shitting where he ate.

He swept the butt up and threw it away, then headed into town.

The forest was a giving and generous host and he cleaned up a good deal of valuable herbs he’d seen Pierre looking for. The store itself was a bit quiet when he walked in, which, based on his mood, was probably for the best.

“Morning Pierre,” he called, laying out the day’s bounty onto the counter. Pierre pulled out his scales and calculator.

“Bill! Good to see you. How’s it going on the farm?”

William shrugged and crossed his arms, leaning against the counter. The bell tinkled and he turned to see a woman and little boy stepping in, both dressed nicer than he expected to see for shopping. Pierre waved at them.

“Morning Jodi, Vincent. Caroline has already got the chapel open.”

William glanced back over at Pierre.

“Chapel?”

Pierre blinked. “Of course. To Yoba. Nothing fancy, but we have services on Sundays.”

William nodded slowly. “Yeah, sounds like a good thing. Real peaceful.” He turned his head. “It’s that way?”

Pierre nodded. “Sure is. Jodi comes every week. Praying for her husband Kent, I suspect.”

“Something wrong with him?” William shifted his gaze but Jodi and her son were already out of earshot.

“Just that he’s at war. I think he’ll be coming home next year, but for now she comes every week.”

Damned personal information Pierre was giving out, William thought as he accepted the gold for his produce. He took stock of himself as he pocketed the coins. His shirt needed a scrub and he probably smelled like woodchips and sweat, but he was still curious to see what sort of services the small village offered.

Step 1 of the 12 steps had been to acknowledge a higher force. Might as well go show his face; it couldn’t hurt and he definitely needed the peace.

There was soft music playing when he stepped in. Vincent, the little boy was sitting next to his mom at a pew, hands folded. His heart flipped when he saw it, and he felt like he was intruding on a private moment.  Still, it was beautiful to see a family sending prayers for their soldier’s safe return. He thought of his own parents with head bowed in desperate hope for his return. He moved quietly and sat in the back, looking up at the shrine. He tried to iron his thoughts into a semblance of order.

What couldn’t he change?

He couldn’t change Sebastian, that was for damn sure. Thinking about what had happened yesterday hurt. Not just because of their fight. Not because he’d lost his temper. Not even Sebastian being ashamed of him. It hurt because  _before_  had been perfect.

But he couldn’t change Sebastian. So he had to accept it. Accept that what William wanted – to be out and public and live his life without secrets – was not what Sebastian wanted.

_Yoba give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change._

But what could he change?

He looked around the room and saw that the boy had crawled into his mom’s lap, his little arms around her neck. His throat closed and his arm burned: his arm where he had inked in memorials to the nine other men who didn’t make it out of his mission. Max had a kid too. Would have been around the boy’s age. He was shamed to be the commander and be the one who survived. He closed his eyes and the words of his sponsors rang in his ears.

_Not your fault._

Didn’t matter though. They were still dead and he was still alive.

But that was unchangeable too.

All at once, the colors seemed to bleed out of the shrine around him. William leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. Black and white and grey, bleeding out all the golden browns and warm reds of the room. He was alive and for what? How had he earned the right?

It had been seven months since he’d been to a meeting. Maybe it was time to find one again, because lately, he was starting to lose it. He closed his eyes tight against the crowding darkness. He had thought starting over in Pelican Town was the answer, but was it? He was living alone, disgusted the man he wanted to be with, and hadn’t even finished clearing Pop’s lands.

He inhaled and his brain reached out for anything that could remind him of good things…for a lifeline against the sea of grey.

“Excuse me, but are you Farmer Bill?”

He blinked and looked up to see that Jodi was standing next to him, the boy shy behind her knee. For a moment she was covered in that dripping grey, that hateful haze. Then he could see her hair was red. His heartrate slowed and he nodded. He rubbed a sweating palm on his leg before standing, holding his hand out.

“Yes, um. William. Nice to meet you.”

She shook his hand and smiled. Her fingers were soft. “Jodi. Hi! I’m Sam and Vincent’s mom.”

Sam? That had been the blond man that Sebastian had been playing pool with the other day. He nodded. “Ah yeah. Sam is friends with—”

“Abigail and Sebastian, haha, yes.” She smiled brightly at him. “Listen, I hope this isn’t presumptuous, but… do you have any cauliflowers growing yet?”

The change of subject brought more color in to the room. He locked on it, the lifeline.

“Yeah, they’re planted. Won’t be ready for a couple of more days though.”

She clasped her hands in front of her. “I wanted to offer a trade.”

He smiled now, fascinated to find out exactly how this would go. With every word the woman was unknowingly saving him from that despair. Something he could do for the family of a brother-in-arms? Sign him up.

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“I don’t think that Old Man Joe had a washer and dryer at his place. And I would love to get some farm fresh produce. If you’ll bring me a box of things once a week, I’ll do your laundry for you.”

William flushed and rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling grubby in front of the lady. He must have looked pretty rough for her to offer.

“Um, yeah actually,” he said, smiling, “I’ve just been doing sink scrubbing. A washing would be handy.”

She beamed. “Then it’s settled. Come over with those cauliflowers on Tuesday and I’ll do all your laundry.”

“Jodi, it would be much appreciated ma’am.”

She gave him a wave then nudged her boy, leaving him alone in front of the shrine.

He looked at the symbol and chuckled.

“Alright, alright. So,” he said, hands at his side. “Maybe there is a reason to stick around.” He saluted the symbol then headed home.

*

Sebastian tensed when he heard footsteps pound down to his basement.

Sam poked his head in and glanced around before closing the door behind him.

“Well?” he asked, arms crossed.

“It’s my fucking ankle,” Sebastian groused, rolling over on his chair, sticking out the swollen foot.

Sam’s eyebrows climbed to his hairline.

“Well, shit dude! You fucked yourself up good.” He narrowed his eyes, looking him over. “But that doesn’t explain the hickey on your neck. Or why your shirt is inside out.”

Sebastian looked down, alarmed. Sure enough, he was right. He groaned and pulled on his hair, doubling over. His face was now the same shade as a tomato.

“So!” Sam said, popping a squat down on Sebastian’s bed. “Based on the lack of gossip surrounding William leaving your house last night, I’m assuming you went over THERE and hooked up?”

“Something like that,” Sebastian said into his knees.

Sam was patient. He’d always been patient.

“I’m surprised that you came, to be honest,” Sebastian finally muttered. “I’ve been… difficult.”

“You’ve been a fuckwit,” Sam corrected. “But in light of our long friendship, I can forgive it.” He waved a hand. “Start from the beginning.”

So, despite his internal agony and external leg pain, he told him the whole sordid tale.

He had to stop and wait for Sam to collect himself from laughing on the ground when he told him about getting caught in the underbrush of William’s property. He sobered up as Sebastian glossed over all the things he and William had done to each other, and was downright grim as Sebastian repeated the argument with a robotic tone. When he was done he waited. Sam blew his bangs out of his eyes and then looked down at the swollen joint.

“You walked all the way home on it?”

“It didn’t hurt until I got halfway home!” he said defensively. “And now? Ugh. Everything is all fucked up.”

Sam shook his head and went upstairs. When he came back down, he tossed some frozen peas at him. Sebastian took them and wrapped them around his leg, feeling some relief.

“Here’s the deal. You need to decide what’s important.”

“It’s not that—”

“Oh no. I listened,” Sam interrupted, crossing his arms. “Dude. Your turn. Let’s prioritize.”

Sebastian sulked but didn’t argue.

“First, are you still mad that he talked to you in front of the whole town?”

Sebastian blinked. “I… I guess not. I mean…it seems sort of silly now that everything else has gone down.”

“Good deal.” Sam paced, ticking off another finger. “Are you ready to bury the hatchet with Abigail?”

He waved a hand. “That stuff isn’t important either.”

Sam faced him, his face hard. “Well I hate to break it to you Brohemian Rhapsody, but is IS important.”

Sebastian threw his hands up. “She was mad. I was mad. We both said things we didn’t mean. It’s done. It’s over.”

Sam shook his head. “Not to her, man. She was really torn up when you left. She’s been staying in her room pouting, just like you. After all, it’s not like we ever told her about your um… tastes.”

“That I’m a big gay loser,” Sebastian muttered, glaring at the floor.

“Knock that shit off,” Sam said, waving a hand. “Sometimes I wonder if the only reason I know is because—”

Panic ripped through Sebastian and he blurted, “The VAULT, Sam. We put it in the VAULT.”

Sam threw his hands up. “I WAS THERE. IT’S JUST US. We’re going to talk about it man.”

Sebastian covered his face with a groan. Sam sat down on his bed and reached over, pulling the chair closer.

“You kissed me,” he said gently. “I never forgot dude.”

Sebastian idly wondered if he could just die right here on the spot.

“I apologized,” he mumbled, pressing his palms against his eyes.

Sam rolled his eyes. “It was over five years ago, Seb. I’m not like, mad. I’m over the weirdness. But we should have told Abby.”

“Why!” Sebastian cried, throwing his hands up. “Why do we have to talk to everyone about every little embarrassing, terrible mistake we make?”

“Because,” he said. “She’s our friend. We lied to her—”

“I,” Sebastian interjected, “lied to her.”

“WE,” Sam disagreed, “lied to her. I went along with it man. And whenever you wanted your dirty little hookups, I’d hang out with her while you did who knows what under the bleachers. Lying.”

“It wasn’t – they were never like – I just don’t get why it’s anyone’s business.”

“Because, you big idiot,” Sam growled. “People care about you. They want you to be happy.”

Sebastian snorted, “Are they also waiting for Santa?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Are you done being a drama queen?”

“That’s homophobic.”

“I’m getting homicidal so like, take your pick which kind of discrimination you wanna deal with buddy.”

Sebastian blew his hair out of his face. “Fine. Agreed. Whatever. Talk to Abigail.”

Sam nodded then ticked his next finger. “Third.”

“Wait, there’s more?”

“For someone so good at equations, you’re sure shitty at keeping count of all the people you’ve pissed off.”

Sebastian scowled.

“Third,” Sam said, nodding down at his leg. “We go get your ankle fixed up.”

“And say what?”

“We blame it on me. I hit you in the leg with my skateboard. I wiped out on grass but it pitched your way hard.” He imitated his mom. _“‘Damn it, Sam! Always doing dangerous tricks_.’” He gave him a sheepish grin, then in a mocking voice said, “Sebastian, I’m such a poor influence. Dunno why you hang out with my ass.”

Relief to have an excuse – a believable and valid one – eased a cramp Sebastian had.

“Cool,” he said. “Now are we done?”

“Well, just one more issue. What are you going to do about William?”

“Oh, that one is easy,” Sebastian said gloomily. “I’m just going to avoid him at all costs and pretend to be a tree every time I see him.”

Sam slapped himself on the forehead but Sebastian was done, too exhausted by the prospect to even consider doing more. Sam stared at him and he returned the look, feeling his lips tighten. He’d fight him over this, no matter what he wanted. Sam sensed it and shook his head, then shrugged.

“You know what? Three out of four ain’t bad. C’mon. Let’s get you to Harvey’s and see about getting an X-ray.”

Grumbling, Sebastian finally agreed.

“Thanks man.”

Sam hesitated then squeezed his shoulder. “I’ve got your back, Seb. Always.”

Yup. Definitely a shame to have tricked Sam into being his best friend.  

  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for your continued encouragement! For now, daily updates are going to continue, however I think around Labor Day Weekend there will be a break. I'm going to Dragon*Con and based on previous year's experiences, there will be limited time for posting and um...sobriety. So! Expect a short gap between the update on August 30th and September 5th with normal update resuming on September 6th.
> 
> -  
> This is the 2rd version of this chapter as of November 20, 2017.  
> I recently some betas for this project (Thank You Ginger, you are the best!) and have been going back as I have time over the chapters and fixing as I can.
> 
> I posted the first 15 chapters daily during the beginning of this fic so quality suffered due to quantity. However, we're still rocking along and I appreciate all the love and support!
> 
> Even though this project is long and months old, every comment, kudo, bookmark, and recommendation still encourages me. Feedback is food for this lil' author so if you like it, I don't know unless you tell me. ;)
> 
> You can always hit me up at Tumblr and leave an ask! I'm very social and love to talk. 
> 
> Enjoy the rest! <3


	12. Foolish Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All is fair in love and war.

It was easy to avoid someone if you always stayed home. And while William didn’t consider himself the type of person who ran away from problems, he was pretty good at hiding from them for awhile. If he’d been anti-social with his neighbors? Well, the work on his land was abundant, and since he was intent on clearing out the trees and stone he could make excuses for a lack of time.

Still, the way he’d been pushing himself had begun to make his body hurt more and more. The effort of daily chopping had pulled on his shoulders and back. His arms, always decently muscled from his workouts, were harder and thicker than he remembered. It was making his shirts too tight around the sleeves. Despite the twinges of pain flaring up, he had managed to push himself, daily, to the limits his body could take. It made sleep easy. He even managed not to think about Sebastian during a few seconds here and there.

The only exception to his toils was when his cauliflowers finally matured on Tuesday. He gathered up the veg, waved goodbye to Ingrid, who didn’t seem to care at all, and went to Jodi’s place, dirty laundry in tow.

It was a gift from the god of all things perverse to nearly walk right into Sam as he came through Jodi’s front door. William leaned back, both baskets in his arms, and reveled in the shock on Sam’s face. Stutter-step, wide eyes…yeah. The man hadn’t expected his mug to show up on his door.

“Mom? Um.” He looked William over. “Farmer Wil—”

“Bill!” Jodi said, coming out of the kitchen while drying her hands. “I am so glad! Did you bring them?”

William nodded. “Yes Ma’am, Mrs. Jodi. Picked them this morning. Thought I’d let you get first crack before I went by Pierre’s.”

Sam was watching him warily, his arms crossed.

“Good! Sam, stop standing around, get that basket and bring it to the laundry room. Bill, do you have time for a cup of coffee?”

“Why,” he said, making eye contact with Sam, “that would be fantastic.”

Sam squinted at him then looked at the dirty laundry. He raised an eyebrow before looking back over to Will. Finally, as if it held toxic waste, he held it in front of him, walking gingerly to the back.

“Careful not to drop it.” William said mildly. “Wouldn’t want my dirty laundry all over your mom’s floor.”

Sam hesitated, shook his head in bafflement, and slipped out. The interaction was lost on Jodi.

William wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or relieved that Sam left the house after that. It was probably for the best.

“Oh, I’m sure he’s off to Sebastian or Abigail’s house,” Jodi said, weighing cauliflowers in her hands.

“I take it they’re close?” William leaned back in his chair, eyes skimming the kitchen. It was a fact universally acknowledged that a woman in possession of a good husband was in want of a Gay Best Friend. He just needed Jodi to recognize his potential.

“Oh lord, yes,” she said setting a few heads to the side. “Since elementary school at least. Ever since he and Robin moved to town.” She cocked her head to the side. “Considering Sam knocked poor Seb down with his skateboard the other day, I’m sure he’s going over to see him, actually.”

“Oh?”

Knocked Sebastian down?

Jody put a few of the cauliflowers to the side and nodded. “Yup. Those boys, I swear.”

William’s mind flashed back to the ankle-incident. So Sebastian had needed to go to the clinic after all. Stubborn ass. “He doing okay?”

She waved a hand, laughing. “It was a little sprained ankle. I’m sure he’ll be moping around in no time. Now, I’ll take these three.”

William squeezed his cup but didn’t push it. Keeping his voice light he said, “Fair trade ma’am.”

“Listen,” she said, suddenly inspired. “Have you met my neighbors? Two young women about your age. Haley is a very pretty girl, a photographer of some sort. And her sister is, very…” She hesitated, as if trying to find something complimentary to say about her.

Time to nip that particular line of matchmaking in the bud.

“Yeah, no dice Jodi. My tastes don’t run in that direction.”

Jodi blinked. “Pardon?”

“I’m gay, so, not really interested in dating women,” he said, sipping the coffee. “Hmm! This is pretty good.”

Jodi flushed and put her hands to her cheeks. “Oh my, I am so sorry that I assumed! It’s just, you’re so…” William took another sip of his coffee, waiting for that particular sentence to finish. Jodi groped for words before she settled on, “Well, there are so many types of people in the world, aren’t there?”

He smiled. Yup, Jodi was good people. “Indeed there are. Well, I hope you like the produce. I’m going down to the beach to get some fishing in. Any requests?”

Jodi hesitated, then relaxed. “If you catch any Halibut, I’d be interested.”

He knocked his knuckles on the table and stood. “Done. Have a good day.”

*

Sebastian’s gaze was locked on the code he was writing. He had music. He was comfortable in his chair and the swelling in his ankle had gone away.

Just like the hickey that had been left on his neck.

In fact, three days after the disastrous encounter with Will had almost completely erased all signs that he’d even been around the man. It was really easy to avoid someone when you didn’t leave your room.

His instant messenger beeped on his non-dominant monitor. He skimmed it.

**SamTheMan: Dude, Sasquatch sighting at my place.**

He froze.

Damn it.

He paused his music and rubbed his head before typing back.

**SebStormChaser: Not Interested. Working.**

He muted the conversation and scowled. What rotten luck. So much for going over to Sam’s that afternoon.

Less than an hour later he heard the front door bang open, then the tell-tale sound of steps down to his basement. Fuck.

“So I know you said you were – whoa!” Sam ducked the book that Sebastian lobbed across the room at him.

“Dude,” he groused, pulling on his hair. “I am WORKING.”

Sam shook his head and closed the door.

“If your aim at pool was as bad as it is with everything, man, I’d never lose.”

“Go away. I am working.”

“Nah man, I’m hiding out here until Sasquatch has vacated the premises.” Sam flopped down on Seb’s couch and snatched up his radio.

Sebastian groaned and then put his headphones back on, trying to tune him out. Moments later a pillow sailed perfectly over the stack of computer monitors to land on his head.

“What the fuck, Sam?” He jerked the pillow off his head.

Sam was peeking over his wall of monitors. “Let’s look William up on social media.”

Sebastian narrowed his eyes.

“You want to die? Because that’s how you die.”

Sam dragged a chair over and sat down next to him. “I can’t believe you haven’t done it yet.”

“Samuel,” he said between clenched teeth. “I want to define the word ‘ignore’ for you. It means to not pay attention to something. You pretend it doesn’t exist. Cyber-snooping is the opposite of that.”

“Well I wasn’t  _gonna_  until he started getting buddy-buddy with my mom. So let’s just take a look at what we can find.”

Sebastian buried his face in his hands and groaned. “You are bad for productivity, you know that?”

“So we’re doing it?”

Sebastian grumbled, wrapped up his headphones, and then pulled up a browser.

“We don’t even know his last name.”

“Bauer,” Sam supplied.

“How in the—”

“Dude has mom doing his laundry at my place. He has a few army t-shirts with his name on the tag.” Sebastian blinked at him, shocked. Sam rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “C’mon dude. Some credit.”

Sebastian shifted in his seat but dutifully began to run searches.

The first hits were social media pages with a man who looked a lot like Will. Except, instead of the undercut and sexy beard, he was clean-cut. His cheeks looked smooth and he had a sharp jawline. The eyes were the same though. Blue ice that drilled right through whoever he was looking at.

Sam let out a low whistle. “So. He’s a Staff Sergeant. That’s a pretty good rank.”

Sebastian blew out a breath as they skimmed through the site.

“Local Zuzu High School Students joining the Army…” he read out loud. “This is ten years old.”

Sam shrugged. “I can see it. But look, he was a big guy back then too.”

Sebastian scrolled through the pictures and froze when he saw what looked like a collection of yearbook photos. William had a regular haircut, golden-brown hair in a loose shag around a young face. He had his arms wrapped around another guy. The photo had caught them in the middle of some sort of horseplay or joke.

Sam read the article while Sebastian was focused on the picture.

“Looks like they were doing some community service. Troublemaker even back then I guess.”

“I guess,” Sebastian muttered, backing out and clicking over to another page. They scrolled through social media posts, friends, and lots of good wishes for luck and his safety. Then there was a gap in updates.

It was the second page of results when Sebastian found the announcement: _Local Zuzu man returns from war under revolutionary new medical procedure._

“Dang,” Sam whistled, reading through the write up with Sebastian. “Look at his face and neck.”

Sebastian’s stomach flopped. But he couldn’t look away. William’s face was pocked with red cuts, specifically around his cheeks and throat. On his shoulders were deep burns, the skin looking like it was melting in some places. The article detailed a bombing and the new procedures that they were using to increase skin growth for scarred patients. Each photo was more terrible than the last and the worse of it was… the look of hopeless despair the photographer had captured in William’s eyes as he lay in the hospital bed, a pair of older adults holding his hands.

Sam’s voice was hushed.“If I was all scarred up, I’d probably wear a beard too.” His eyes were as big as saucers.

Sebastian’s paralysis broke and he hurriedly closed the window.

“This isn’t okay,” he said, his heart hammering. “This is none of our business.”

Sam shrugged and leaned back. “Dude, it’s not like it was a secret. It was in the news.”

_I was a heroin addict…I’ve been clean for 2 years._

“Maybe, but it’s still not right,” Sebastian muttered, shutting down his computer, as if by disconnecting from the internet he could disconnect the image.

Sam hopped up, stretching. “Hey, it’s not like we knew that he was an injured vet. Look at him! He doesn’t look all melty or anything. That medical procedure must have been pretty good.”

“Yeah, well, he also is covered in tattoos and facial hair. How would we know? If it didn’t bother him, he probably wouldn’t be covering it all up.”

Sam put his hands up in the air. “Fine, Fine.” Then his phone dinged and he pulled it out, looking at it. “You wanna go hang out with Abby?”

“Go on ahead,” Sebastian said, sitting on the couch. “My ankle isn’t quite better.”

Sam shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

After he’d walked out, Sebastian let his head fall back on the couch.

_I’ve seen too much of this world_

That’s what he’d said. No wonder he didn’t care.

After coming back from that kind of thing, why would he?

*

It was a small town and on a Friday night, anyone who was anyone was at the Stardrop Saloon. All week long William had avoided most people, save for Shane, his new best friend and drinking buddy, and Jodi, his laundress.

As he stood in front of his mirror, grooming, he decided that avoiding the bar in an effort to give Sebastian space would be too much like caring what people thought. Because if he came right down to it, it was cowardly to hide. Time to bury the hatchet.

He’d said he was ready for strings. He’d told him the truth. Time for him to follow his own advice. If Sebastian still wanted nothing to do with him, was sickened by his presence? Well. He’d burn that bridge when he crossed it.

The Saloon was busy for once, music playing and dancing happening between the oldsters – yet his eyes skimmed and locked onto the dark-haired man near the pool table. He couldn’t help it. As much as he wanted to get over him, to lose himself in the work of the farm, Sebastian was on his mind all the time. He dropped his gaze and kept moving. Wouldn’t want the good people of Pelican Town thinking that Sebastian had an admirer, since that was apparently enough to send the little trouble-chaser underground.

He took a seat at the bar near Shane and in the mirror behind it, could see Sebastian staring, jaw open in shock.

Now who would attract attention?

Shane misinterpreted his gaze towards the back. “Good luck getting the table with that crew there,” he said as Emily brought them beer.

“Yeah?”

“Oh, they hog that table right the hell up.”

William liked pool well enough. He turned in his seat and frowned. Sebastian’s head jerked away, and the frown turned to a grin. Little trouble-chasing rabbit was trying to run. Well, he was done avoiding this confrontation.

“Why don’t we go see if they want to play some two-on-two?”

Shane snorted. “Hell no. I hate these people. I come here to drink, not to play games.”

William put some coins down. “Keep the beer flowing for my buddy Shane, Em. And a round for the crew in the back.”

“Sure thing, Bill,” she chirped, spinning off.

“I bet I can beat the emo-kid,” William said to Shane. “At that pool game.”

Shane chortled. “As you have lost every bet you’ve made with me, I will take it because of the assured victory.” They bumped fists and then William sauntered towards the pool room.

For a moment, he questioned himself. Questioned what he was doing. Why keep reaching for a flame that had burned him already? Yet as he approached, he could see how defiant Sebastian looked, pool stick held like a weapon, body tense. His own body tensed in response. No, they weren’t done. This connection was fragile, but it wasn’t dead. And besides, he’d always been too stupid to know when to quit.

Unlike the first time he’d come in the game room, Sebastian didn’t bother trying to avoid him. Though, he did put Sam, Abigail, and the pool table between them.

“A peace offering,” William said, waving a hand at Emily who’d followed him with the drinks. “And a challenge.”

Sam raised an eyebrow.

“A game of pool.”

Abigail and Sam exchanged a look. Sebastian spoke up.

“Okay, so we play. If I win, you don’t come to the bar for the next eight Fridays. One for every ball I sink.”

William frowned. Aggressive. Damned if that wasn’t sexy. He hadn’t planned on betting, but if that was the way Sebastian wanted to play things… after all, risk nothing, win nothing.

“And if I win,” William said, reaching over and taking up a pool stick, “you have to spend eight minutes with me in that backroom.”

Abigail coughed and Sam patted her back.

Sebastian’s jaw tightened and William could see he was pissed. Good. He was getting pissed too, as all their undealt-with baggage bubbled under the surface, and spreading the anger made things feel more even.

“Deal.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated on 01/16/2018


	13. Circa A. W.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billiards is the coolest game for manly men. It teaches them how to play with different balls and concentrate on many holes... all with just one stick.

It was so frustrating to see William march into the Stardrop like he owned the damn place.

This guy had been here for what, less than a month? And already he’d turned everything in Sebastian’s world into a quagmire of anxiety. Most days were full of stress of social interactions, but he had a routine. He had buffers. He had coping mechanisms. Except not any more. Because like a storm crashing into a power plant, William had blown out all his circuits.

There were the days of B.W., or Before William. Those were the halcyon days of peace, easily demarked from the current Era, A.W., by the manageable level of stress. Now? He had hit the limit. He had reached the wall and snapped.

Oh, he’d fought it, he thought grimly, glaring at William. Sebastian had struggled against the inevitable clash at the billiards table by trying to stay home. But Sam and Abigail didn’t seem to recognize the new epochs of his life, and had dragged him huffing and groaning out of his safe, solitary cave of seclusion into their Friday night routine.

For the first hour he’d been fine. He’d been just fine. He’d even gotten a few games of pool in against Sam, kicking his ass as usual. Abigail had cheered them like she had all the weeks before, and somehow things were cool between them again, even though he hadn’t quite managed to approach her on his asshattery. Bonding over teasing Sam: a comforting and routine progression of social interaction. Familiar. Safe.

But like a bad penny, in William walked, talking to Shane, the town drunk, as if they were best friends. Yet another sign that he knew nothing about staying out of the town gossip mill.

The bet? Fucking inspired. Finally, Sebastian could show William he wasn’t good at everything. Sebastian had been playing billiard games at this table since he was fourteen years old and could hold the cue stick. William might have been everywhere and done everyone, but in this arena, Sebastian was king.

_Bow down, Bitch._

“You sure about this, man?” Sam asked, looking over at him. “He’s—”

“He’s going down,” Sebastian said flatly, nodding over at Abby. “Rack ‘em up Abby. Let’s bounce this punk from our place.”

“Ooooh, I’m skerd,” William snarked, choosing a cue stick from a rack. Abigail hopped up and began to collect the balls into a triangle, 8 ball in the middle, solids and stripes scattered.

“You, um, probably don’t want to antagonize him,” Abigail said to William, glancing over at Sebastian’s frosty eyes. “He’s really good at this.”

“Why does it not surprise me that you know your way around a set of balls, Sebastian?”

Sam covered his mouth with a swallowed choking sound and stepped back.

“I’mma…” He coughed, and then gained control of himself. He slapped Sebastian on the back and took a big step backwards. “Hey…Abby and I are just gonna stand back, right, Abby?”

“Definitely,” she said, finishing her task and hanging the ball rack to the side. “Hand me my beer…and maybe go get some popcorn.”

Sebastian put the cue ball down and gestured at the table.

“Oh no,” William said, resting his chin on his cue stick, eyes taunting. “House goes first. Home field advantage, Babe.”

Sebastian shot him a glare, and then, never breaking eye contact, slammed his cue stick into the ball, shattering the perfect triangle and sinking the 10 ball.

“Don’t. Call. Me. Babe.” He straightened and stalked around the table, fist clenched.

Abigail let out a low whistle, and Sebastian heard her whisper, “William is toast.”

William never lost that sardonic tilt to his head and it was infuriating.

“Alright, Sebastian. My bad.” He stepped back as Sebastian tuned him out to look at the table. He has one cluster of colored and stripes that would be tricky to clear but he was pretty sure he could do it if he could just focus. A few 30 degree angle shots could clear them, and with a left-handed English he’d have the table under his control. His cue rested in the middle of the diamonds…perfect placement.

“You know,” William said, interrupting his silence. “I was thinking about some things this week.”

“Must have hurt your head,” Sebastian muttered, deciding on stripes after all. He leaned over the table to set up his shot.

“I was thinking about how much I hate strings.”

He fouled it. He’d aimed too high on the ball, spinning it uselessly against the rail. A rookie mistake.

He hadn’t missed a shot that obvious since he was eighteen.

Sam’s eyebrows climbed and Abby leaned back on her heels. Sebastian took a deep breath and let it out slowly, straightening his back.

“Your move,” was all he could hiss out between clenched teeth.

“Why, thank you,” William said, teeth white against his beard.

He paced the table and looked down at it, yet didn’t seem to be paying attention to the balls, his tone friendly. “Do you know why I hate strings, Sebastian?”

Sebastian, in the name of being a good sport, stalked over to the last beer that lay unclaimed on the tray and took it. He glared over the rim at William’s stupid, handsome face.

“Because they hold you back?”

“Not quite.” Will lined up the stick and with an even stroke, sank a solid. Mistake number one, Sebastian realized, his mind calculating angles. If Will continued that line of play, he was going to get bungled up on the three striped balls in a cluster near the front of the table. Anticipation thrummed down his back. He was still in this game. He looked up to see if Will had caught his error and his brain did a stutter-step.

William was staring at him with those bedroom eyes while he polished the tip of his stick. Sebastian took another swallow of beer, breaking the contact.

Did he always have to be so damn obvious?

“I don’t like strings because they can tangle and trip a guy up.” Will placed the chalk down on the table, right side up as god intended. Sebastian’s heart pounded as Will looked at the ball placement, all shifting shoulders and burly muscle. He tossed his hair out of his eyes.

“Doesn’t look like you’ve been tripping much lately,” he said. “Unless you have some new  _marks_  I don’t know about.”

Bingo. Finally a hit. William’s eyes narrowed and with a smooth motion he put one scar-marked fist into his pocket.

“So,” he said, leaning back over the table to take a shot that Sebastian knew was going to go wild. “How do you feel about strings?”

Sebastian cocked his head as William pulled the cue stick back and forth, angling.

“I feel nothing.”

William hit the ball too hard and as predicted, it kicked too low of the diamond, slamming into the cluster but not giving the cues enough spin to sink. William frowned, perturbed.

Sebastian took another long swallow of beer and handed it to Abby to hold. She nodded at him and he took the chalk, giving a swift rub over the tip of his stick as he plotted William’s defeat. All he had to do was get a kick shot into the first object ball and he could begin the cascade to victory.

“It’s a shame, you know,” William said, interrupting his calculations.

Sebastian looked up at him, irritated. William was taking a wide stance, his pool stick in front of him.

“What is?” Sebastian said, looking back down and leaning forward, setting up the cue, eyes on the purple number 12. His dad’s voice echoed,  _the ball goes where your eyes go._

“That your pants are so tight. Must make all that bending difficult.”

Sebastian didn’t let it get to him this time and cracked the white cue against the 12, setting off a chain reaction that sank the 9, 14 and 13. It was a trick, but William’s bumbling earlier had laid the balls perfectly to perform the three-in one. He raised his eyes to see William’s amazed gaping and said, “I don’t find bending difficult.”

Damn it, he realized, he was flirting back. Something he had never, in the entire history of B.W. ever done.

He let his hair fall over his face and risked a glance over at the main bar. No one was paying attention to their game. He let out a breath. Just a normal Friday night with nothing too odd. Everyone having a good time and all. No tension laced gambling. Not over here. Just a couple of bros. Being bros.

“Nice shot, man.” Sam said, reminding Sebastian that they still had an audience, even if it was just his friends.

“You know your way around a rod,” Will agreed.

Sebastian grit his teeth. “It’s gonna be awful quiet here without you to liven things up on Fridays.”

Will shrugged. “You never said anything about Saturdays. Or Sundays. Or all the other days that end in ‘y.’ Besides, I’m so busy I don’t always have time to come hang. Maybe it will make me more focused.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes and tossed his hair again. He leaned forward to take the shot but was distracted by a small ‘mmhmm’ of approval that William made behind him. He hit high on the cue again and  _scratched_. He stared in disgust as the white cue sank into the pocket instead of the object ball he’d been aiming for. Furious, he whirled around.

“Are you ogling me?”

“Yup.”

His face turned crimson. “Well,” he sputtered, turning his back to the main bar and shoving a hand in his hoodie. “Stop.”

“Strike me blind.” Will stepped forward, leaning over to retrieve the cue ball. “Because that’s what it would take for me to stop looking at you.”

*

Sebastian was, William decided, probably going to win.

Which hadn’t been in his plan.

But it was damned distracting to see him lean over, back straight and eyes focused, his hips bent just so. His fingers were long and confident against the pool stick, and he seemed to be completely confident with what he was doing. And the way he slammed that stick? Pure, sexual magic.

Which, again, hadn’t been the plan.

He frowned down at the table, then placed the cue ball.

Who was Sebastian tonight? How had William wound up on the back foot when it came to pool, of all games?

“This is  _my_  game, Will,” Sebastian said, his color returning to normal. He leaned against Sam, an arm resting on the blonde man’s shoulder. “You’ve gotten lucky a few times because I’m having an off night. But I always win.”

“Makes sense,” William offered, looking back down at the placement of the balls. “Since you’re such a ball buster, it’s within your skill set.”

“Are you going to shoot off your mouth or take your shot?” Sebastian snapped back.

William squinted at the board. Waited. Then broke the silence with a cheerful clap, letting his stick rest in the corner of his arm.

“Side wager time.”

“Oh please,” Sebastian scoffed. “You’ve sunk one ball and you think you can make a side wager?”

“You scratched, ba—” He smirked, then with heavy sarcasm replaced the endearment. “ _Bro_. If I lose, then you have nothing but gains.”

Sebastian glanced over at his friends. “Can you believe this guy?”

“He’s pretty mouthy,” Abigail said, swirling her beer in her mug. “I’m surprised the Sasquatch knows how to speak.”

“That’s Sergeant Sasquatch to you, little lady,” William drawled.

Sam coughed, and both Abigail and Sebastian glared at him. He held his hands up.

“What? He’s funny.”

“Funny looking,” Abigail deadpanned, still giving William the evil eye.

“Wager or no wager?” He waited a beat before adding, “Unless you’re chicken shit.”

Sam winced and Sebastian’s eyes became slits.

“Keep digging your hole, Will. If you work hard enough, maybe you can bury yourself.”

It sounded mean, and to the untrained eye perhaps one might come to the mistaken conclusion that Sebastian currently despised William, and wanted him to  _actually_  go away and never speak to him again. But he’d called him Will. Twice. Just like he had last week when begging for release. There was still hope on the S. S. Boyfriend.

William glared back down at the balls. He couldn’t lose.

“If I sink that green ball,” he said, and pointed to a corner ball that had four different obstacles between the cue ball and the pocket. “Then you hang out with me tomorrow at the Egg Festival.”

Sebastian’s jaw dropped. Then he tossed his head back and laughed scornfully.

“And if you miss it?”

William scowled, his brain reaching for something equally terrible, then nodded. “Then I’ll shave off my beard.”

Now it was Abigail’s turn to cough. Sebastian’s mouth opened, but he didn’t say anything. He swallowed and the muscles in his neck became more defined. There was a silent battle between them. A conversation only they were having.

_You wouldn’t._

_Oh, but I’m crazy. I would._

“Fine,” Sebastian snapped. “Hope you have a sharp razor.”

“Oh, Bastian,” he replied, unable to help how husky his voice got when he said his name. “Your man always keeps his knife sharp.”

William angled the pool cue, adjusting the rise to 80 degrees, then just like when Sebastian had made the break, he met his eyes.

Electric shocks ran down his back as he slammed the tip into the white ball. It jumped up, bounced off the side of the table and in a perfect 30 degree curve, slammed the green ball into the indicated pocket.

Sam let out a low whistle.

Sebastian’s face flushed and he nodded, sipping his beer, doing everything possible not to show the relief in his face.

“Fine. Festival tomorrow. A bet’s a bet.”

William grinned, then went back to his next shot. He missed it by a mile and scowled.

He only really knew the trick shots he and his buddies had practiced back at the barracks. If something wasn’t set up wonky on the table, he rarely could manage to sink anything.

Could he bounce a cueball into a beer cup? Absolutely. He’d bet the farm on it.

Could he hit a regular spin? Hell no. He was fucked.

Sebastian moved, jaw still tight. William held his ground, forcing him to cross past him. When Sebastian was close enough, he lowered his voice. “Admit you’re relieved.”

“Relieved about what?” Sebastian was whispering too.

“That I’m keeping the beard.” He winked at him.

“You are insane.” He said this loud enough so his friends could hear.

“Common knowledge, Bastian.”

Sebastian ignored that and leaned forward, slamming his stick harder than necessary into the 15, sinking into the corner pocket. Then, as if he were flipping switches on a wall, the rest of the stripes went into pockets.

12 followed 11, leaving only the 8.

William frowned. He’d never seen anyone make a pool game his bitch before, but if it had been a naughty child, Sebastian would be slapping its ass over his skinny knee.

“Damn.”

Sebastian turned his head to look at him as he leaned over the table.

“Don’t underestimate me, Will. This is my town. This is my bar.” He looked across the stick down at the 8 ball. “And this is my game. Back corner pocket.” He snapped the pool stick forward and as if it were magic, the ball rolled towards the 8, hit it….and just before it could fall into the pocket, it slowed, balancing at the edge.

William held his breath. Was he about to get lucky?

Just as he had the thought, it tipped and sank into the pocket, rolling down to the end of the ball collection in the table.

William let all the air out of his lungs and narrowed his eyes. Fine then.

“Good game,” he said, holding a hand out.

Sebastian looked at him, then at the hand.

“C’mon, duuuuude,” William drawled. “Don’t want the people of Pelican Town saying you’re a poor winner.”

He frowned then reached over.

Touching.

Sebastian’s fingers were long and warm, slightly damp from sweat. So he’d been nervous.

“See you tomorrow at the Egg Fest,” he said softly, letting go after a longer-than-heterosexually necessary squeeze. “Sweet dreams.”

Sebastian didn’t jerk away, just let his hand fall to his side.

*

When Will left, Sebastian felt as though all the light in the room had left with him.

“Dude, that was the most badass thing I’ve ever seen you do,” Sam said, coming around the side and clapping him on the back.

“It was pretty damn impressive,” Abigail agreed. “I knew you could kick the crap out of Sam—”

“Hey!”

“—but you are badass against other people too. And hey! Fridays will be Sasquatch-free. So you’re the winner.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, picking up his warming beer. “Go team.” He put the pool stick down. “But I’m done for the night. Going home.”

Abby opened her mouth then closed it. “Sure. Of course. We’ll see you tomorrow at the egg festival.”

He waved at them and made a beeline home, suddenly hit with a crash of adrenaline from going head to head with Will…and winning.

Hours later, when Sebastian had gotten home and gotten into bed, he played the game over again. Each word. Each ball sink. And that masse shot out of nowhere? Who had taught him a jump shot? An old boyfriend? He shoved that particular jealousy monster back to wherever it had crawled from.

William was a hasty and reckless pool player. He took shots without thinking ahead, just busting forward with his entire being, as if he could over power a person by sheer will.

Will.

Willpower.

But that wasn’t going to win him any favors in anything that required planning.

Sebastian had been terrified when Mr. Macho bet that he’d shave off his beard. He didn’t know that Will – that clean faced and normal looking guy who could have been anyone in a crowd.

He let out a breath and then slipped his hand into his pants.

Semi-hard just thinking about the guy.

He pulled his hand out, shivering.

He’d been trying to forget him, not waiting to beat off to him in bed.

_Your man._

Asshole was so confusing.

_Strike me blind…because that’s what it would take to keep me from looking at you._

Will had kicked him out mere days ago, but then called himself his man.

And talking about strings?

Whatever. Sebastian pushed it back focusing on breathing. He covered his head with his pillow. He just had to get through tomorrow and figure out whatever the hell was going on so he could get back to normal.

Or at least, what now passed as normal in a life after William.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of my favorite chapters to write so far. If you are an expert billiards person, I am so sorry for mangling this game. XD
> 
> Just a reminder, my updates are daily! So thanks for sticking around for this ride. There is nothing like the joy of seeing reactions to what I'm pumping out so thank you for all your love and support. :D
> 
> (edits for typos and formatting updated on 01/16/2018)


	14. The Magical Squatch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which plot happens and feelings are revealed.

Pops had told him, years ago – before the Alzheimer’s took him completely – about the festivals Pelican Town hosted.

There were two per season, all with the focus on bringing the community together. His favorite had  been the Harvest Festival where he’d kept a first place win for three years straight.  Carrying on in his Pop’s tradition, he had plans for this year’s fall festival and so far, all his crops had been following along with his plans. Farming was, he decided, the most relaxing part of his new life. Relationships though? Much more challenging.

William arrived at the festival and immediately had to dodge two children chasing one another. They were running in circles, squealing and laughing, trying to whack each other with the empty wicker baskets. There were tables set up overflowing with a buffet spread of food. He cocked his head at the gathering. Had everyone in town shown up for this shindig? Pops had been right about community togetherness.

He circled the crowded courtyard, his eyes seeking Sebastian. No dice. He snagged a glass of punch, feeling at a loss. Had Sebastian chickened out? No…not after he’d put on such a fight at the bar the night before.

“Well, if it isn’t our newest farmer!”

William turned to see the spry little mayor, beaming at him from under his flat cap. He nodded and exchanged grips with Mayor Lewis, who then stuck his thumbs in his suspenders, gazing around the crowd.

“The Egg Festival was my favorite when I was a little boy,” he mused. “Now I’m just amazed to see how much energy these kids have.”

“Well, sugar them up and let ‘em go, Lewis.”

The mayor barked out a laugh. “Have you gotten to meet everyone in town?”

“I’ve met a lot of people,” William said, his eye catching a tell-tale dark hoodie in the corner. Sebastian was standing next to his buddy Sam, fists buried in his hoodie, petulant frown on his face. William had fantasized about how he could change Sebastian’s face last night. Had thought about what he would have done, had the pool game ended in his favor. Had thought all about the way Sebastian might look against the wall of Gus’s storage room, biting his own arm to keep quiet with so many people just feet away…

Lewis was oblivious to his dirty daydreams. “What about the buildings?” he said. “Have you seen our town’s community center yet?”

William pulled his gaze away from the object of his pursuit and zeroed back in on Lewis. “Pardon?”

“Yes! Ah, how exciting. Come with me, I’ll show you. It’s a good time. See? They’re not done setting up the dessert table.”

William hesitated. Then shrugged. “As long as it doesn’t take too long,” he agreed, following Lewis past the barricades to the northern part of the hamlet. Apparently the town thought it was important to delineate the Festival zone from the rest of the town.

As they made space between themselves and the population, Lewis cast him a raised brow.

“You know son, I heard about your little altercation with Mr. Morris.”

 _Shit._ Had the mayor brought him out into the country to shoot him like the proverbial bad dog? Gulp.

“Yup,” William said in as neutral a tone as he could muster. “We had a disagreement in ideology.”

“Nonsense. You knocked his lights out, William.”

Well, at least the mayor was a straight shooter. “Tomayto, Tamahto.”

“See you control that temper going forward, my lad. Once can be smoothed over, but if it becomes a habit?” The mayor shook his head. “I’d hate to see you in trouble, Will. Your Pops would too.” He waved a hand, as if he could pull a door closed on the subject. “Still, I understand the sentiment to sock it to those Joja creeps. It’s why I wanted to show you this.”

The mayor stepped up to an old, rotting building. William cocked his head.

“What in the world happened to it?”

“Lightning storm a few years back,” he said, his tone resigned. “Coincidently, the same summer your parents came and moved your grandpa back up into the city. Ever since, the place has been abandoned. We called it the Community Center back then. Not much of it left.”

He pulled out an iron key and William was intrigued. They stepped into the broken building and he looked around it, fascinated by the craftsmanship in the walls and door.

“Joja has been pressuring me to sell it.” There was a scowl in his voice. “They want to bulldoze it and turn it into another warehouse.” He hesitated and then his shoulders sank a bit. “But the money would do the town a lot of good,” he murmured, before sneezing at some dust motes.

As he did, behind him William could have sworn he saw a green blob crawl into a hole. He froze, eyes locked onto it.

“Did you see that, Lewis?”

The mayor turned around to look at where the green creature had retreated. “See what?”

“That…that thing.”

“What thing?”

Just as the Mayor peered at the hole, above his head another of the little apple-sized creatures appeared, little spindling arms waving out of a neon-colored body. Then it bounced up and…for the love of all things holy, blinked little beady eyes.

He was struck, in is disbelief, with a sense of extraordinary déjà vu. The eerie familiarity shifted to horror as the creature waved at him, then disappeared from sight. The mayor shook his head, oblivious to the WhatEverItWas that had been floating over his head.

“Must be rats. Sometimes Jas and Vincent break in here to play.”

William swallowed and skimmed his gaze around the walls. Weirdest fucking rats he’d ever seen. Could it be magic? He’d heard rumors of magic when he was overseas – old magic that still lived in the backwoods of the country. But the wizard wars were ancient history and he’d seen so many things debunked as he’d gotten older….but how else would something just disappear like that?

“What if,” he said, testing his voice, “I wanted to come back and check this place out again?”

Lewis blinked, then looked gratified. “Oh? So you’re interested?”

“Yeah, uh. Interested. Definitely.”

The old man smiled again, his face lighting up like the sun coming emerging from a cloud.

“Why, if that’s the case, then I’ll just leave it unlocked. Come on by whenever you want.” He shoved the old key into his pocket. “Enough of this old place though. Let’s go back. I want to go have a big helping of Marnie’s egg salad.”

*

Sebastian had psyched himself up for today. And if he’d taken extra care with his hair and actually put on a clean hoodie…well it was the festival after all. It had nothing to do with Will’s bet forcing him— _forcing_ , mind you— to spend the day with him.

“Dude, if you adjust your bangs one more time, I’m going to tie your hand behind your back,” Sam muttered, leaning against a tree.

Sebastian shoved his offending hand into his hoodie pocket.

“Why would he kick me out and then want to hang out a week later?”

“If you hadn’t been avoiding him, maybe he could have talked to you like a normal person.”

Sebastian itched for a cigarette.

“There is nothing normal about William Bauer,” he muttered. Then a fission of recognition ran down his spine when he caught sight of Will’s trademarked hair, standing next to the Mayor.

“There he is,” he hissed. “Look cool.”

Sam rolled his eyes and glanced over at Abigail. “He just told me to look cool, Abby.”

“Shut up, you just ruined my count of how many times he twitched out of nerves.”

“I hate you both,” Sebastian muttered, shoulders straightening as William bee-lined over.

“He’s so obviously ready to do unspeakable things to you, Seb,” Abigail said. “How were you going to hide the homoerotic subtext of this date—”

“It’s NOT a date.”

“It’s totally a date.”

“Would you two chill? C’mon Abby. We’re gonna back up our boy. He doesn’t have to face the woolly Sasquatch alone.”

“I still can’t believe you asked us to cockblock.”

“Say the word cock one more time Abigail, and I swear to Joba I will—”

But Sebastian couldn’t finish the threat because William had gotten into earshot, his head high.

“Hey Sam. Abigail.” Then Will looked at him. “Sebastian.”

He was paranoid. He had to be. No way had William’s voice deepened. Damn it, he knew he was blushing.

“S’up, William,” Sam said, buffering like a heavenly warrior of all things social.

“What were you doing with the mayor, Sergeant Squatch?” Abigail asked.

“None of your beeswax, Spooky,” William said, giving Sam a brief back slap with his hand shake. He, mercifully, didn’t try to touch Sebastian. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if he’d tried to grab his hand or, heaven forbid, put an arm around him.

“Show me around,” he said, waving a hand over the courtyard. “You guys must know all the fun stuff to do around this festival thing.”

Abigail looked at him sideways. “So. You know…”

“Abby,” Sebastian warned. He knew that look she had in her eyes. It wasn’t to be trusted at all.

She ignored him and there were too many people around them to risk making a scene.

“We are hanging out with you and Seb, here. Because—” she narrowed her eyes and stepped forward, poking him in the chest.“We don’t  _trust_  you yet.”

Sam gave a firm nod and put his hand possessively on Sebastian’s shoulder.

Had William’s eyes narrowed in displeasure? Probably just his imagination.

“Yup,” Sam said. “You have to treat our son good, you know.”

“Son?!” Sebastian was going to destroy them both.

“That’s right,” Abigail said crossing her arms and leaning on Sebastian’s other side. “Our little basement goblin is a precious creature and you are not Approved yet.”

William, damn his sexy face, was clearly taking their challenge way too seriously. Then he smirked, as if it was all just another joke.

“I see. Well.” He winked –he fucking winked – at Sebastian, then wrapped an arm around Abigail’s shoulders. “Mother dear, why don’t we take a little walk? I have to discuss my intentions.”  And just like that, he started to stroll, as if they were old friends, leaving Sebastian and Sam standing under the tree with their mouths open.

Abigail rolled her eyes and called, “I’ll be right back. If you’re good, I’ll bring some food.”

“The balls on that guy,” Sam whispered, eyebrows to his hairline.

Sebastian slapped his hand over his face and groaned. “He makes everything he touches a shit storm.”

“Something like that.”

Sebastian peeked over at Sam and saw that his face was…pinched. The bravado of earlier was gone and replaced with…jealousy?

“Sam…?” Sebastian asked. His brain was whirling though, recalculating 100 little bits of data that he’d been too self-obsessed to notice.

Abby had stopped knocking when she came into Sam’s room. Abby always healed Sam first when they played Knights of Solara. Sam standing between them at his house during that stupid fight, his back to Abby…pushing Sebastian away. Like a program that had finally begun to boot, it clicked into place. He turned back to glance over at Abby, who looked to be hissing something at Will. He faced Sam.

“Holy shit,” he breathed. “How long?”

Sam whipped his head over to Sebastian, face rising with color.

“How long what?”

Sebastian couldn’t let the moment pass, and hooked a hand under his elbow, dragging him back, further away from the crowd. He could see that Abigail was play-pushing William and laughing at something he’d said. A knife of his own jealousy twisted for a moment – seeing William with someone socially acceptable –but he shooed it away to be agonized over later.

“How. Long.”

Sam groaned. “Dude, I don—”

“How long have you been in love with Abigail, you asshole?”

Sam’s previously rosy cheeks deepened to a crimson.

“Uhhh…”

“Does she know?”

Sam hung his head and groaned.

“Oh my god. She doesn’t.”

Click. Click. Click. Sam had kept this in for how long? Listening to Sebastian’s angst-fueled rants about being gay. Dealing with Sebastian as he’d gotten over his one sided crush in high school. Playing wingman for him so he could bust a nut with some strange rando at a football game…and he hadn’t said one word about this.

Sam wouldn’t look at him. “Don’t be a chick about this, Seb.”

Sebastian punched his arm. “Why didn’t you tell me!?”

Sam threw his hands up. “Tell you what? That I was crushing on Abby? What would that have proved? We all hang out together. It would be weird to couple up and leave you out.”

Sebastian felt oddly touched and also mildly annoyed.

“Besides,” Sam muttered, rubbing his arm. “She’s kind of always had a thing for you, so…”

More puzzle pieces fell into place. Abby had a crush on _him_? Holy disaster movie batman, that was so the wrong place for her affections.

“Shit, bro.”

“Yeah. Shit.”

Sam turned and scowled over at where William was now holding an egg high over Abigail’s head, her face screwed up trying to reach it.

“And now the Flaming Squash is being all flirty in front of Caroline and Granny, so, you know, the whole town will think they’re an item by the end of the day.”

Sebastian swallowed, sick to realize Sam was right.

“At least it would look normal,” he muttered.

Sam glared at him now. “Fuck you dude, Abby and I look just fine together.”

“I didn’t mean you two!”

“No, no you didn’t,” he said, frustrated. “You meant you. Because you think that’s what the whole world revolves around. Sit on the sidelines if you want, but I’m not going to let this bullshit stand.”

And with that Sebastian was standing alone under a tree, baffled by how quickly William had once again turned his day upside down.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear people who have Abby/Sam as their NoTP. I am sorry.  
> It seemed to me in this particular story to be the natural progression though sooooo please forgive me.
> 
> Alternative titles for Cloudburst:  
> Sasquatch loves his Basement Goblin
> 
> (Edited on 1/18/2018 for typos and formating.)


	15. Gossip Salad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.

Abigail didn’t trust him, but William just took that to mean she was smart.

“Don’t think you can butter me up, dude. I am not a piece of bread.”

“I’m not trying to butter you up,” William said, his arm still draped over her shoulder. “I’m trying to  _charm_  you, girl. There is a difference.”

“Semantics.”

Abigail turned her head to glance back at the boys they’d left standing under the trees. He followed her gaze to see Sebastian was hauling Sam deep into the shadows.

Well shit. If his angry little basement goblin wasn’t going to watch him pretend heteronormativity, he’d drop the act. He let go of Abigail’s shoulder and she put some distance between them. She tossed her purple hair to the side and crossed her arms, glaring up.

“Here’s the deal, Abby,” William said, lacing his fingers behind his head, looking up at the clouds, then down at her. “I had plans with my boy Sebastian today, and I wanna see what it would take for you and Sam to go find something else to be interested in for a while.”

She looked him up and down then gave a derisive sniff.

“You’re not his type, you know.”

That caught him on the wrong foot. He scowled.

“What?”

“I said,” Abigail said, reaching over to the table and swiping a cupcake. “You’re not his type. Sebastian likes clean-cut, rock star types. Not this mountain man thing you’ve got going. And he likes funny, nice, outgoing types that everyone is into.” She took a lick of the icing before saying, “And you’re a controversial and polarizing force, Sergeant Squatch.”

William scowled, irritated. “I am not. I am a fucking delight.”

She shrugged and began to meander towards a bench. William glanced back over at Sam and Sebastian, who were still deep in conversation and not looking at them. Well, so much for trying to get under Sebastian’s skin that way.

Abigail sprawled on the bench, looking absolutely comfortable, chewing her cupcake. He perched next to her, resting his elbows on his knees. She nodded her head towards a cluster of women.

“See her? That’s Sam’s mom, Jodi. She likes you fine, so good job getting her on your side. And there is my mom, Caroline, who is Jodi’s best friend. Mom thinks you’re going to bring trouble and they had some sort of argument about it last week. So, no William, you are not a fucking delight.”

“It’s not my faul—”

“Yes,” she snapped. “It is. Because they were fighting about you.”

William steepled his fingers but didn’t say anything. Abigail licked icing off of the paper and continued.

“You didn’t make any friends by pissing off Joja Corp, you know,” she said, looking at him from the side. “The whole store has been on a mega-sale and Morris has been going to Mayor Lewis’s house almost daily trying to pressure him to sell that old community center.”

To turn that beautiful building into some sort of warehouse.

She nodded over towards a redheaded girl who was talking to a dark-skinned girl. “That’s Maru, Sebastian’s half-sister. She works with Dr. Harvey. She told Penny about how bad Morris’s injuries were, so now Penny thinks you’re a psycho. The fact that her mom, Pam, likes you? Just makes it worse.”

“What’s wrong with Pam?”

“She’s always drunk and can’t hold down a job. Penny is constantly hauling her drunk ass home.”

William’s brows knit. “None of the people you’ve told me about have even met me, Abigail. Once they do—”

“Don’t you get it, William? It doesn’t matter if they know you or not. You have set up your reputation. Town Tough guy.” She finished the cupcake as he contemplated this. “Sebastian on the other hand? He’s a quiet dude. I’ve known him since elementary school. Any time there was a task that made you stand in front of people, he’d go find a way to hide. You’re hot gossip, big guy.” Her tone hardened. “The bad kind.”

William looked around and began, with a sinking feeling, to see she was right.

Over by the punch a grizzled old man in a wheelchair was staring at him while grumbling to his white-haired wife. Across the way, a pretty blonde girl was clutching an athletic type’s arm, covering the side of her mouth while she looked at him. The athletic guy was laughing at whatever joke she was making. He narrowed his brows.

What utter bullshit.

“That girl over there…”

“Haley,” Abigail supplied.

“Yeah, her. Why is she laughing?”

Abigail shrugged. “She’s the Stardew Valley beauty queen. Pelican Town got a big playground built from the county community work she did two years ago, so if I had a hazard to guess, I’d say that she was  _judging_  you.”

He made a kissy face at Haley when she glanced over at him, and he saw her face redden as she ducked her head.

Abigail punched his shoulder. “Damn it, Squatch. That’s the kind of thing you need to knock off.”

He glared at the cobblestones. “Sebastian thinks this stuff is important?”

“You should think it’s important too,” Abigail said, balling the cupcake wrapper up in her hand. “Also, next time you go drinking at the docks, don’t throw your trash in the lake.”

Now he did a doubletake.

“How…? No one even saw that.”

“You’re an idiot. Everyone knows everything that happens. Shane works at Joja with Sam. He told Sam he’d met you and bragged about how bad you were at skipping cans. Sam then came by and told me, the other day when we were hanging out. Then Leah, whose house is down there, well, she also heard you two drunk morons carousing. She told her friend Elliott while they were at the bar and Emily overheard. She probably told Haley – who is her sister by the way – and Gus, her boss. If Gus knows, well buddy, then a news flyer might as well have been sent out.”

“Sweet baby peaches,” he muttered, looking at the people in his new safe haven for the first time.

Oh sure, they were nice. Had been kind to him even. But now, he remembered Jodi sitting in her kitchen, telling him all about Sebastian. Pierre’s sly comments about who or what came into his shop.

William let out a breath.

Pelican Town was a little more complicated than he thought.

*

Sam had left him in the trees and Sebastian wondered if the world would ever return to its proper alignment. After several minutes of watching from the sidelines though, he couldn’t stand it anymore and moseyed over where the rest of his people were standing around.

When he reappeared, William seemed to brighten.

“Well hello there, Sebastian. Glad you came to join us.”

“This stuff is lame,” he muttered, not meeting William’s eyes.

“Uh, yeah it is,” Abigail scoffed. “Cuz the egg hunt hasn’t started yet.”

“Aren’t you a little old for that Abigail?”

She crossed her arms. “I will never be too old for the egg hunt. I hold the current first place with eight entire eggs found.” She looked William up and down. “I own this game.”

William frowned and looked around. “So. If you were to lose…”

“Haven’t you already learned your lesson about challenging masters of their craft?”

“That was pool. Pool takes skill. Hunting eggs? That’s just luck.”

Abigail glared daggers at William.

“Alright, Sergeant Sasquatch. How about a little side bet?”

Now he looked interested, damn his handsome face.

“I’m listening, missy.”

“If I win, you have to put up with Sam and me being all up in your business while you hang out with Sebastian.”

“And if you lose, you have to buzz off.”

“What is your game, Will?” Sebastian asked with frustration, “I thought you didn’t want anything else to do with me.” He wave a hand around, hissing, “Yet here you are, crashing my normal survival corner for big holidays.”

William snorted. “Well I don’t know how else to get you to talk to me! You’re not getting off the hook that easily, babe.”

The word shot him through the heart.

Babe?

Still?

After…

William leaned forward, and Sebastian could feel the uncomfortable weight of the neighbor’s gaze. “And you’ll see that I’m not an embarrassment,” William hissed, eyes locked on him.

Sebastian felt like he had been rocked.

“Okay, fine.” Abigail said, irritated. “Sebastian, I shall vanquish this mythical beast for you and then  _maybe_  things can get back to normal.”

Normal? Nothing would ever be normal as long as William lived here.

William held out a hand. “You’re on, sister.”

They shook on it and then stalked off towards the Mayor, bumping each other’s shoulders as they did. Except William wasn’t using any force when he jostled Abigail, as if he knew how hard he could bounce her if he really wanted to try.

“What the hell did I just witness?” Sam wondered aloud.

“Hurricane William and his aftermath,” Sebastian said grimly.

“Abby is going to wipe the floor with him.”

“Maybe,” Sebastian said. “He’s sober this time though.”

“Nuh uh,” Sam said. “Abby knows every nook and cranny of the town. She’ll find more eggs than anyone else, just like always.”

“Will is hard to predict though,” Sebastian countered.

Sam got a mischievous look. “Side bet.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“If Abigail wins, then you have to let her play the wizard in Solora chronicles.”

“What!? But she’s the healer.”

“She wants to be the magician sometimes! Just say you will.”

“Yeah? Well if Will wins, he gets to play the Warrior.”

Sam smirked then turned back to watch the lineup.

“So. You want him to play games with us, huh?”

Sebastian felt caught.

Then he shrugged. “Is it a bet?”

They shook hands as the whistle to start the hunt ripped through the air.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading lovelies!
> 
> I don't know how long this fic is going to be. Right now, I am tentatively guessing 50 chapters but there is a lot of different elements of this story that I am enjoying exploring.
> 
> Shout out to all the fantastic readers out there who leave kudos. I see y'all and appreciate the love. Thank you for your time and appreciation. :3
> 
> (edited on 01/16/18)


	16. Eggs in One Basket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasquatch v. Spooky - The Stage Play

William took the lay of the land.

He’d been up and down the town square in his daily jaunts to Pierre’s, the beach, and his weekly walks to Jodi’s. He had a good mind for terrain and if one considered that all of the objects for this particular hunt would be intended for small bodies with short eyes, all he had to do was think like a small person.

Because at the end of the day, the egg hunt was about more than beating Abigail. It was about more than just being accepted into Sebastian’s group of friend’s too. He had to prove that he was capable of being a part of Sebastian’s world. Had to prove himself not just to Sebastian, but to the whole town.

A mountain that he was willing to climb.

He walked up to the starting line where Lewis had everyone gathered. He stood between Abigail and a few other citizens of the town. Then frowned. There were kids here. Small kids. A little girl in a purple dress with her black hair pulled back in a ribbon. Shane was watching from the back, his face hung over. Jas then, William decided. His goddaughter. And there was Vincent, Jodi’s kid.

Shit.

He shouldn’t have taken this bet.

Abby was oblivious to the other competitors against her. Instead, she was staring off into space, her body couched and ready to launch at the first available egg. A plan formed into William’s head and he nodded, waiting for Lewis’s whistle.

They’d have five minutes to find as many eggs as possible. He just had to find more eggs than Abby.

Yeah, he’d do this.

The whistle rent the air and he dashed right, snatching up an egg.

Abby had gone in the opposite direction.

He began grabbing eggs as they crossed his path, remembering what she’d said. Her record was eight eggs. He just had to beat that and he’d be the undeniable victor.

 _Just get nine eggs in five minutes, William,_ he told himself.

There was one, under a bush. Another in the lowest branches of the trees. He followed the trail of eggs, darting between the fences and houses that were used as barriers.

It was like being in a game zone. Ding, egg. Ding. Egg.

He glanced down at his basket. Seven. He was close.

Abigail was a beast at this though, he could see her running and snatching eggs, jumping. He frowned suddenly at a loss. He looked left, then right and… and then caught a look at Sebastian. He was…pointing? William followed his finger and he could see it. A line of several eggs in a row…if he could just hurry.

He tore towards them, hair flying and he skidded, snatching one, two and _three_ more eggs. Just as he tossed it into his basket, the whistle blew again.

He let out a breath and stood, cocking his head quizzically to look at Sebastian – who had turned away, hands laced behind his head, following Sam and the other townspeople to the square for the count. As if he hadn’t just helped him out.

Who was giving mixed signals now?

Before he could make it to the circle though, he scooped five eggs out of his basket and dropped them into Vincent’s. Then he did the same with the remaining eggs into Jas’s.

They both looked up at him, wide-eyed.

“G’on,” he said, winking. “Go show Lewis.”

They had nine each when the counts came, and both kids won to a tie.

Abigail’s jaw dropped as the prize money was split between the two of them.

*

“That clever bastard,” Sam marveled, as Abigail stood, absolutely frozen in shock. “How did he do it?”

“Hurricane William, man. You can’t ever predict him.”

William had clapped Abigail on the back and they were turning towards them. He was giving Sebastian a quizzical look and Sebastian ducked his head, hiding behind that long bang of hair. As they got closer, Abigail spoke up.

“You didn’t win, you know.”

“Yeah Spooky, but neither did you.”

“Stop calling me Spooky.”

“Stop calling me Sasquatch.”

She crossed her arms, irritated. “Well that still doesn’t mean that you won the bet.”

“Actually, Spookerella, I didn’t bet that I would win. I bet that you would lose.”

She opened her mouth then closed it. Then opened it again.

“Um, Sam,” Sebastian said, suddenly feeling embarrassed, but having to blurt out what he wanted before he changed his mind. “Why don’t you go…hang out with Abby and make her feel better?”

Sam raised his brow. “You going to be okay?”

“Not much of a bet if I don’t spend some time with him. After all, he’s pretty much perma-banned from the bar for the next two months.”

Sam shrugged and they fist bumped in absent agreement before Abigail and William got to their side.

“C’mon loser. Let’s go get some food”

“Shut up, Sam.”

Abigail and Sam wandered towards the table, and if Sam was letting his hand linger a bit on her back, she didn’t shrug it off. Sebastian felt that he and Sam were okay now, at least a little bit. He glanced over and Will was looking at him with those Too Intense blue eyes again.

He stuffed both hands in his hoodie pocket then started towards the bank of the river. “C’mon, Will.”

William mirrored his stance, shoving his hands in his pockets and following him, waiting until they were close enough that the sound of the river would muffle their words before speaking.

“Games like that should go to kids. Abigail and me? We’re old enough not to win stuff.”

Sebastian chuckled and sat down on the bank, stretching his legs out. Will sat next to him and they stared out at the river.

“Didn’t expect to see you last night,” Sebastian ventured, staring at the water so he didn’t lose his nerve.

“I missed you.”

Sebastian felt his heart pound at the bald admission. How did he just blurt it all out like that?

“You told me to go fuck myself the last time we saw each other,” he pointed out, pulling his knees up, curling up defensively.

William shrugged. “Changed my mind.”

“Sort of random how quickly that happened.”

“Well, Sebastian, it’s like this.” William laid back on the grass, an arm curled around the back of his head. “I live in this tiny-ass town now. And so do you. We’re gonna run into each other. And when we do, as much as I might be all pissed off about your little freak out rant, ruining our good time—”

Sebastian felt his eyebrows hit his hair and his back imitated a steel rod.

“ _I_  ruined it?”

“Yeah, man.” William said, eyes closed and sardonic smile on his face. “I was all ready to snug in for the rest of the night, but then you were all like, ‘ _now what_ _?’_ So it got heated. But look, if you don’t want all your neighbors and stuff to know who you’re laying pipe with, well, I’ve been considering it. Maybe, just maybe we try this closet thing for a little bit.”

Sebastian, who had been compiling a sharp accusation, felt it die in his throat. “What?”

“Well, thank Abby. She got me thinking. If this town is as petty and small minded as you think it is, maybe it’s time to do a strategic readjustment of tactics.”

Military language, Sebastian noted, looking back towards the river. He pulled his knees up closer to hide the bottom half of his face.

“Re-adjustment, how?” He was not going to hope for anything.

“Well, instead of being normal people who hang out at the saloon for a good time, why don’t you come to the farm sometime this week and hook up my internet? You can build me a network-thing. I’ll even pay you for it. But then,” he said, and gave him a sideways look, “if it takes a long time because of…entanglements, well. That’s just something you and I would know about.”

Sebastian’s heart began to pound.

“Think about it,” William said, turning his head at a sound that Sebastian hadn’t noticed. He turned too, and could spot Sam and Abby making their way over with plates loaded with food and drinks. But William wasn’t done.

“And if you decide to do it, let me know when I go to your mom’s shop later this week. I’m hiring her to help me fix the house. After those renovations are done, you can come help me out with rejoining the cyber world.”

Sebastian felt lightheaded, and knew he had to be blushing.

 _Entanglements_  huh? Like how their limbs had entangled?

He glanced back at his friends. They’d been stopped by Jas and Vincent, who were talking to Abigail. He did a visual skim around the area before reaching his hand out and tentatively squeezing William’s hand.

Will responded with a hard squeeze back, possessive and acknowledging even as he laid back, for all the world looking as though he wasn’t touching him. The tall grass hid their fingers.

“You’re only doing this because I’m the only tail in Pelican Town,” Sebastian accused.

William didn’t let go of the fingers.

“Guys like you, Bastian, are worth chasing.”

Sebastian curled up tighter, letting his hair fall forward. His back was to the city and their fingers were mostly buried in the grass. But it felt…dangerous and thrilling, to be holding hands in semipublic.

“A guy like you, Will? I might even let you catch me.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright friends.  
> We knew it couldn't last forever.  
> Updates are now going to be every other day. So the next chapter will go up on Wednesday the 21st and we will keep that pattern until I can get more of a buffer going again. Thank you for your continued support!


	17. Does Not Compute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magical revelations and machine failure

William got up the next day feeling pretty motivated. It was bright out and he intended to get the mess of strawberry seeds he’d bought yesterday into the ground.

Yesterday, Sebastian had suggested he check out the Prize Booth that the kids were hanging around. He’d said it might have some things useful around the farm. That’s when he’d found them: strawberry seeds. According to Pierre, most people bought a packet or two to add to their spring gardens. William had dumped out his entire pouch of gold and shoved it over. He had a recipe for a jam his grandfather used to make, but it called for a lot of strawberries. He only had half the growing season left if he wanted to get these into the ground in time.

Sebastian hadn’t run away after their handholding, but instead had lingered near his side. He hadn’t let William touch him yet, nothing beyond those simple grazes when no one could see. It was a novel experience, from start to finish.

With every other boyfriend William had, they’d begun hard and then ended just as hard. Even when he and Cameron had been together, their stressful life and death surroundings had brought them into a constant frenzy. And then after the aftermath of the bombing…

William shied away from those thoughts, too painful to approach.

His fields were rich and fertile. He had green bean poles with climbing vines, a feast of cauliflower, and a waving field of blooming kale. To the side, he’d put up some blue jazz, a flower that was unique to the valley. He was starting to get attached to the little puffballs.

Sebastian hadn’t let him do much of anything yesterday, he reflected. Yet he couldn’t stop thinking about their time together. They’d rejoined his friends as it started to get dark, and he’d walked with them all as they went home.

It was awkward, he realized, how many in-jokes there were. They’d known each other for so long, he felt like they had their own language. One he was still learning the words to.

He closed his eyes and let out a slow breath as he was suddenly and absolutely hit with the memory of how good it felt to be high, instead of a ball of anxiety and concern. He inhaled then put the watering can to the side, picked up his axe and began to get to work on the next level of trees between himself and the back of his property.

With each swing he replayed their last interaction, their last words.

He’d been walking Sebastian back to the farm. Creeping closer and closer to the shyer man, before finally, hidden in the overreaching trees that lined the path away from town, slipping his hand into one of Sebastian’s too-tight back pockets, squeezing his ass.

Sebastian’s face, so red and embarrassed.

Swing.

His weak protests as William had leaned against a tree, hidden from sight from anyone who would pass by.

Swing.

His panting breaths and little whimpers when William had cupped his neck and explored his mouth.

Swing.

Wood chips flew as he began to sweat, heavily. He had to focus on the good stuff. Because if he didn’t…if he didn’t, he’d ruin everything. And William couldn’t go back to where he’d been.

He slammed the axe down one last time and the small sapling he’d been attacking fell over, several old branches snapping off as he did. He let out a long breath and leaned the axe to the side, dragging the wood over to his pile.

Sebastian hadn’t stayed after they’d cooled down enough to stop.

“I want to slow down, Will,” he’d said, in that spring-cool night. Around them the crickets and night bugs had sung a chorus of cheerful celebration.

“We’re not moving at all, Babe,” he’d pointed out.

“Maybe, but I just…more of this. Less of…things that leave us screaming at each other. I’ve…I’ve never had a boyfriend before.”

The confession had rocked him.

“So. Slow?”

William wondered if his heart would melt when Sebastian looked up at him underneath that shock of black hair, vulnerable and hopeful. His face flushed from his kisses, a flush he had put there. He swallowed back inadequate words and crushed him against his chest, resting his whiskered chin on top of Sebastian’s hair. After a few seconds, William had felt him wrap him up back. They stayed like that in the shadows of the tree near the path, Sebastian leaning into him while he calmed his racing heart. Finally, he felt confident in his voice not warbling like a teenage girl’s.

“If that’s what you want.”

William blinked away the replay. But for a moment, he could still feel Sebastian’s arms wrapping him up tight, breath on his chest. It hurt. It felt too raw. Too much pressure and too much room for absolute disappointment.

He went inside, showered off the dirt, fertilizer, and sawdust, then got his basket of produce for the daily sojourn to Pierre’s.

As he went up the town square, he passed that path that Lewis had taken him up yesterday. He frowned. He was sure he’d seen something weird up there…he turned and looked back at the open courtyard. It was still early and not a lot of the people in town were moving around. He readjusted his basket and then turned, walking up the steps towards the old community center building. He hesitated, then pushed the door open.

The room was eerie, empty and dark. Weak sunlight filtered through cracks in the roof and William swore he heard something crawling in the walls. He let out a breath and stepped all the way in, his feet creaking through the boards. There was a bizarre looking hut in the corner of the main room, as if someone had built a fort out of bricks and leaves. Huge chunks of the wooden floor were missing, patches of dirt with weeds growing from the dark earth demonstrating neglect and decay. In the right corner a large fish tank with questionably algae-infested water bubbled and burbled, a rotting straw mat in front of it. On the same wall was a broken down chimney, no logs in the fire.

William heard skittering and turned. To his left he saw a shadow move and nearly jumped out of his skin, his heart racing. Then he narrowed his eyes. Rats? Not big enough. He wasn't going to run away from a damn mouse, even if there was no way that the green apple-looking creature was any type of rodent he'd ever seen. He shouldered the basket of goods and followed the hallway down.

Once, this place had been quite beautiful, he realized. There was a huge kitchen that was covered in cobwebs and dust. He stepped into an empty pantry with a few cans that were undoubtedly full of botulism. He wrinkled his nose and heard the skittering behind him, then turned and saw something running towards the final room.

He let out a breath, then followed it. Into…some sort of play room? An old school room? There was a ruined set of chairs in one corner, the floor ripped and battered like the rest of the building. He frowned, because in the middle of the room was a glowing, golden table.

He got closer and put the basket to the side.

Unlike the rest of the room, this didn't have a speck of dust on it and the script was in a language he'd never read before. He reached over to touch the table and realized with amazement that it was solid gold.

He heard the skittering again and looked straight ahead into the blinking eyes of a little apple-looking creature with stringy arms and a leaf for a hat – that disappeared like a ghost.

William knew. KNEW. He wasn't high.

He was sober, damn it.

He rubbed his eyes then neared the wall, touching the wood. Solid, flaking over in his hand.

He blew out a breath.

Then – deciding that perhaps, just perhaps, he was in over his head – he scooped up his basket.

Only, where were his horseradishes? He frowned and turned his head, only to see a large and gnarled root of horseradish being dragged around by one of the little creatures.

"Hey!" he snapped, dropping the basket to lunge for the creature.

It squealed and tossed the root – to another of the little apple-monsters with stringy arms that appeared on the other side, snatching the root on its arms and skittering towards the golden table. He froze and watched as the table glowed when the root touched it...then sank in. He dropped the creature, startled by the clear impossibility that he was witnessing.

Three more of the little beings reached into his basket, jerking out the dandelion leaves he'd gotten the day before, wrapped into individual tea-sachets for Pierre. He frowned. They were digging out more things too...

A bundle of leeks were being dragged, and finally some of the daffodils that he'd bundled into little 3-blossom nosegays. Each one got dragged to the altar and each one sank into the golden words.

Then. The little creatures cheered and did a small dance. Before melting away. The tabled brightened and a packet of...seeds...lay on the golden surface.

He swallowed and stepped forward. That weird, hair-raising ‘eyes on him’ feeling had dissipated, and for some reason, he felt like it was okay to pick up the packet on the table.

It was a bundle of thirty different seeds, all in a little cloth pouch. He frowned and turned them over in his hand. No nursery's stamp on the back. No greenhouse logo to declare where they'd come from like the ones he got from Pierre's shop. He swallowed, then put them in his pocket.

This was...going to require some greater investigation. Definitely.

*

Sebastian woke up that afternoon and for the first time in weeks _didn’t_ feel like the world was crashing down around his ears.

But as the world didn't want such optimism to exist for him, it of course threw him for a loop as soon as it was physically able. He'd just turned on his computer when Maru came banging on his door.

"Sebastian! My computer isn't connecting!"

He groaned but got up, opening the door. Maru was biting her nails on one hand and was holding a new text book in the other.

"Every time I turn it on, after like, three minutes, it goes all blue. And I NEED to get into my homework program."

Sebastian nodded and walked all the way back to Maru's room. She fretted as she followed him.

Her computer was...old.

He'd tried to get Demetrius to replace it when she graduated high school, but he'd bought her a tablet instead. Which was fine, except the mobile pc didn't run the online classes she needed. Plus, it only had so much battery. And games? Forget it. That thing could play Angee Birbz and that was about it.

He cocked his head.

"When was the last time you blew the dust out of this thing, Maru?" he asked, squatting next to the case.

She frowned. "It's not like you can wash it, Sebastian."

He counted backwards from Pi and turned it on its side. Chunks of dust peeled off the filter and he shook his head.

"Be right back."

Fifteen minutes later and he had the poor PC opened up and was blowing leaves of dust out off of the fins of the fans, off the heat sinks, squinting. Her boards were old, the overall structure sound but faded. He thought back to when she'd gotten it.

"This was your dad's old work machine, right?"

Maru was perched on a stool, looking over his shoulder. "Yup. When he got that new monster thing in the lab he gave me Trusty here." She leaned back, staying quiet while he worked. He was okay with that. It was sort of nice.

Sebastian started to put it back together, then turned it on.

The hard drive was humming smoothly and the fans came on, so that was a good thing. He waited three whole minutes, watching all her icons appear. It was slow, he decided, but that was probably nothing more than a RAM issue.

Just as he was thinking about scavenging RAM from his box of extras, it blue-screened. He groaned. He closed his eyes, running the time table. This could take an hour. Better to have some solitude so he could get it figured out.

"Okay, Maru. I've got an extra machine downstairs. Just boot it and do your school stuff. I'll figure out what is screwing you up here."

She nearly wilted in relief. "You are a lifesaver, Seb."

He was turning it on again, pulling her keyboard into his lap, squinting at the boot menu, ready to tap the keys in time to pull up the BIOS. "There is a black-zipped pouch in the bottom drawer of my desk. Grab it and bring it to me, please. "

She zoomed back in a few minutes later, handed him the tool kit, and then scooped her books up, stalking towards his room with the determination of someone wanting to sack Rome.

An hour later, after some aggravated cursing and ruling out all the cheapest of broken parts, he'd narrowed it down to the Motherboard or the CPU. He was trying to figure out exactly what dinosaur birthday the motherboard had when Demetrius appeared in Maru's doorway.

"What happened?"

"Not working," he muttered, while trying to carefully untangle the frayed and worn ribbon clip on the board from the main hard drive. It figured that the serial numbers he could look up on the board were faded and in the very back of the machine.

"Obviously. What's wrong with it? It should work fine. I built it."

Well. That explained why everything was cheap and old, he thought cynically.

"It's old, Demetrius," he said, but his stomach tightened as Demetrius loomed over his back shoulder.

"Careful," Demetrius chided, staring at him.

His back stiffened, his fingers beginning to shake. What had been a routine, frustrating bit of problem solving, was now stretching into anxiety. He could hear Demetrius breathing. Could feel his eyes on him like laser beams. Sebastian pulled away from the board before he accidentally shorted something out and turned his head, offering the screwdriver.

"You wanna do this?"

Demetrius scowled and leaned back. "I just wanted to watch."

"Well either you back off and let me work or you do it yourself. I don't come and bump your elbow when you're making plants have sex."

"Sebastian.” His voice was rough, warning. "That's my daughter's only computer. I don't need you messing it up. Learn to take a little advice from someone who actually built it."

He pulled his tool kit over and put the screwdriver back in its place.

"You know what? You're right. Your build? Your problem. Have fun." He stood up, stalking out of the room. And if he brushed Demetrius aggressively on the way out? Well. Oops. His bad.

"You always do this, Sebastian," Demetrius sputtered.

Sebastian whirled, throwing his arms up. "What? I always do what, Demetrius?"

"Run away. You can't stand to finish something to the end, can you kid? Just like college. Just like that gridball team you were on in high school."

He clenched his fists, the tools in one hand cutting through the neoprene sleeve. He suspected, deep down, that most people saw failure when they looked at him. How lucky for him that his stepfather was such a validating source. He continued to hold Demetrius’s gaze, letting him see that his words had hit. Letting him see how they hurt. Finally, Demetrius broke first, scowling at the machine.

"Well I'm not going to let Maru down. At least one kid in this house should get a degree." He turned and sat down, fumbling around with big fingers over the board.

And just like that it was over. Sebastian felt like he'd been doused in ice. He wasn't sure if he wanted to break the case over Demetrius's head or go crawl into a ball and not come out for a week, his emotions a war of fury and anxiety. He let out a breath and settled on leaving. Demetrius was always right, even when he wasn't. Fighting him was like swimming against the tide.

Maru's head popped up from his back up PC and cast him a hopeful look. He let out a breath and put the tools down on a side table, sinking onto his couch, hand rubbing his eyes.

"Alright." He wasn't going to lie to her. "The good news is your hard drive is safe. So I can back up and restore any of your data."

She sank in relief, then frowned. "The bad news?"

"It's either the motherboard or the CPU. But. Your dad decided to take over, so you know, testing one or the other will have to wait until he decides that he's done his best to fix it."

She groaned and rubbed her temples. "Sorry, Sebastian. I know how he is."

He wanted a cigarette. He shrugged, standing up and putting the tools away.

"It's gonna be okay, Maru. Once he's done, I'll go back in and see what I can try. Still, hope you've got some gold squirrelled away fro—"

Maru's face became stricken.

He cocked his head.

"What?"

"I just spent over 3,500 gold on books, codes and a new telescope."

He winced.

"How much?" she asked. "If I have to replace it?”

He told her.

She groaned.

Sebastian rubbed his forehead then stood up, walking over to his computer. He sat down and waved her over as he began to type. Within a few seconds he pulled up his bank account.

“Alright,” he said, blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes. “It’s like this. If I do this for you…”

“Do what?”

“Fix this computer. If I do this, it’s because you and I have a mom that I think is pretty cool. Your dad still sucks.”

Maru crossed her arms. “Sebastian, I don’t understand.”

He opened up the account balance. Maru blinked, then pushed her glasses over her head and blinked.

“Holy shit Seb. That...that’s…”

“That’s a year’s worth of savings,” he confirmed. “I pay mom and Demetrius rent. I paid them back for that ill-fated semester, and I blow a little on my bike every now and then. In another year, I should be able to move out and find a place in ZuZu. But,” he looked over at her. “I will dip into it and fix that POS machine for you if you promise not to tell them how close I am to moving out.”

Maru sat down. “Seb, if you spend that kind of money…that’s going to put you back.”

He shrugged. “What’s a few more months?”

She bit her lip.

“Only condition?” he said. “You can’t tell them I bought the part.”

“What! Why? It’s the coolest thing you’ve ever done for me!”

He groaned. “I don’t want everyone knowing my business. Can’t you just do that? You can get a working computer. All you have to do is keep quiet on how it got that way.”

Maru rubbed her toe on the floor.

“You know Seb,” she said, settling back into the chair on the other computer. “You are actually not that bad of a brother.”

“Yeah? Don’t tell anyone. It’d ruin my reputation.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note guys, the next chapter will be uploaded every other day from now on. So that means you can expect chapter 18 on Friday, August the 25th, between 8-10 CST. 
> 
> Thank you for your continued support! I appreciate the kudos, the comments and all the sharing y'all do to help make my little hobby story fueled.
> 
> (edited on 01/16/2018)


	18. Ask wisely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More explanations and some private musings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> Thanks as always for the support. It really means the world to me when you leave kudos and comments. I am lucky that I have such great readers. ,3
> 
> Updates will be every other day so expect chapter 19 on Sunday August the 27th. Also, I will be taking a longer break around Labor Day because I'm going to dragon*con in atlanta. If you're going to be around, hit me up on Twitter at @WriterHolec
> 
> Enjoy!

The puzzle of the magical building bothered William when he went into town. But, when he opened his mouth to ask Pierre about it, in the bright and clean lights of the general store, he hesitated.

Had he really seen that? It seemed so fantastical.

Still, his count was short for the foraged goods he usually brought in. That was proof in its own way that he wasn’t totally crazy.

He pondered the building on his way home, intentionally passing by Jodi’s place in case Sebastian was hanging out with Sam there. No dice.

He got home near noon, ate an MRE, then started making more progress against the tree line that was constantly trying to take over his garden. He took his shirt off half way through the task, content to burn through the questions as he broke down trees, cracked branches and collected wood.

Could it have been magic? Was there such a thing as magic?

He finally buried the axe into a stump and began hauling the wood back towards his house. The winters here were bitter and his Pops had instilled a deep respect for the fierceness of the season. The only answer in such an occasion was to prepare and prepare a lot. He was focused on gathering the wood. Focused on the back and forth of wood from tree line to wood pile. It was exhausting.

He told himself it was because he was tired that he didn’t notice the man standing on the most recently cleared plot of land.

But there he was, with no warning. One moment the spot had been empty and the next, Bam. Strange fucking weirdass with a black western hat on. He wore a black duster and black slacks and a black shirt. His eyes were fierce and he held a staff.

“Well,” he said when William dropped his wood stack and stumbled backwards, panic ripping through his chest, “I didn’t expect the old man to actually send someone.”

William reached backwards and wrapped his fingers around his hoe. It was worn and not as good as a gun would have been, but it was better than standing half naked in front of a stranger.

“Who the fuck are you and why are you on my property?”

“No need to swear, m’boy,” the stranger said, amused. “I am trying to introduce myself. Goodness, the youth of today are impatient.”

William gripped his hoe tighter but waited, because after all, Lewis was already cross with him for a public beat down. Appearing at the mayor’s house to report that he’d killed an intruder probably wouldn’t fix that reputation problem he had.

“I am Rasmodius, wizard of Stardew Valley. At your service.”

The self-proclaimed wizard removed his hat and gave a sweeping bow at the introduction. William’s jaw dropped and he stared at this strange and mysterious man.

“I wouldn’t have bothered you, only I heard the spirits of the forest talking this morning about a new visitor to the old shrines."

"Shrines?"

What was this crazy guy nannering on about?

"Yes! You met the juminos."

William blinked. "Bless you."

Rasmodius slapped himself on the forehead and groaned. "Everyone is a smart ass."

"Yeah well," William snapped back, "Apparently everyone here is a TRESPASSER. Private property, wizard-guy. You can't just bibbity-bobbity-boo out of thin fucking air and expect me to be a calm and accepting motherfucker about shit."

The wizard leaned on his staff.

"Are you done, boy?"

William scowled and pointed his hoe at the wizard. "Call me boy. Call me boy one more fucking time you magical asshole."

Rasmodius shook his head. "Listen, Mr. Stranger. I don't know how you do things, but here in Pelican Town, when someone introduces themselves, it's polite to return the favor."

William narrowed his eyes but then nodded. "Fine then, Rasmodius. I'm William. And you're on my property."

"If you didn't want to play with Magic, Sir William, perhaps you shouldn't have begun your pact with the juminos."

"I didn't make no pact with any JooSneezos!"

Rasmodius looked skywards then rubbed his neck. "Your grandfather never was so obtuse."

WIlliam's body tightened.

"What did you say?"

"I said," Rasmodius said, "Your grandfather was a much smarter person that you are."

"You knew Pops?"

"Yes. I even built him a small memorial after he left us. The Juminos and I were sorry to lose a friend to the land."

William swallowed.

"A shrine?"

Rasmodius muttered something. William thought he heard ' _ignorant kids these days'_ before he turned.

"Come. I'll show you."

William hesitated but then followed the Wizard to the back of the land. It was up against the cliff in an area that he hadn't cleared yet, but it was clear to him that there was a little stone shrine against the wall. William swallowed, feeling his throat tighten up at the little stone relief. His grandfather's face was staring back at him, kind eyes and wrinkled face, just the way he remembered.

There was a small indention where a bowl or cluster of flowers could be placed.

Sudden, burning tears filled his eyes.

He hadn't cried at the funeral.

But here? In the gloaming of a spring night, his body sore from working the land that his grandpa had loved? He was hit with the sudden crash of emotions.

"He was a good man," Rasmodius said softly. "The spirits of the forest mourned his loss the day your parents came and took him."

"He had Alzheimer's Disease," William said, his voice thin as he looked at the portrait of Pop's weathered face. "He wasn't good by himself. Lewis had uh," he coughed and rubbed the moisture from his eyes. "Lewis," he said, clearing his throat, "Said that he would get lost around town, talking to thin air. Asking where Grams was."

"Yes. Age is...age is a terrible thing to endure."

William felt like he had control of himself for now. Later maybe, when he wasn't in front of a total stranger, maybe then he'd be comfortable enough to mourn his Pops properly. Even thought this wasn't the grave that he'd lowered him in a few weeks ago, it was as good a place as any to reconnect with the good times. He took a deep breath and then turned towards Rasmodius.

"So. You know Pops. You also can appear out of nowhere." he narrowed his eyes. "Like a silent, deadly fart of magic."

Rasmodius threw his head back and laughed. "Well. You have a way about you Sir William. Yes. As I was saying, I came by because the spirits of the forest came to me, saying you'd brought them offerings. Tomorrow, come to my tower and I will help you commune with the little spirits."

William frowned but then shrugged. "You know, Wizard," he said, "You could have just sent me a note to swing by."

Rasmodius shrugged. "It was a whim. Besides. It gets lonely in that old tower. And your grandfather had some of the best food in the valley. Good night, Sir William."

William opened his mouth, he wasn't sure what he would have said as thinking before speaking was not a strong suit, but before he could get out a syllable, the wizard had disappear with a high pitched zoom sound, sparks trailing and disappearing from his black cloak.

*

Sebastian opened the garage door with one hand, the other clutching his helmet. He’d made it through the day without screaming and that deserved a reward.

Maru had been a quiet work companion, finishing her school work with efficiency. He'd checked on her PC after Demetrius had quit for the night and was relieved to see that the man hadn't cracked anything major, but he'd definitely not been gentle when disconnecting the main board from parts.

His mom had come home and when everyone else had started to gather for dinner he'd gotten his helmet and slipped outside.

Spring was a good time of the year to ride and it had been a dry couple of days. He didn't bother telling his family where he was going. If he did go speak with them, he was at risk for actually having a scene with Demetrius in front of his mom and she didn't deserve to come home to that.

His bike purred with the first crank and with a shift of balance, he was off, the trees and mountains of home zooming past him in a blur as he let his bike accelerate, the whine of the engine almost like a shout of joy. Sebastian waiting until he was out of Pelican Town Limits before kicking it in the guts and raced towards his favorite spot.

It was like flying and he adjusted, unable to think of anything but when to brake, when to release the clutch. His body thrummed with the power of the motor between his knees. Once he found his pace, he relaxed and began to cruise.

Riding shifted from that immediate need for speed and the wind to block out his thoughts to a causal and familiar trip to his favorite spot.

It took an hour to get there, an hour of casual cruising, his heart rate evening out as he let the miles roll underneath him. It had been weeks since he'd taken the bike out. He was over due. His mom's house. The town. Everything was closing in on him and he was going to suffocate underneath the weight of it all.

He turned off on a dirt mountain road and made his way up to the isolated cliff that he loved so much.

He pulled up just as the moon was starting to rise in the distance. Sebastian pulled his helmet off and inhaled. Cool spring air rolled up his nose and filled his chest, clearing away some of the rage that he'd been stifling all day.

He stood and stretched out legs that were sore and rolled his head on his shoulder. He put the helmet down and pulled out the package of cigarettes. He checked them and sighed. Four left. He'd have to get more. He pulled one out, lit it and then relaxed as the smoke worked its way through him.

He was going to have to quit. His mom hated that he smoked. Sam never let him do it at his place and Abby had made monkey noises at him the last time he'd been tamping a pack down.

He looked at the glowing cherry then stepped closer to the edge of his favorite spot. In the distance, like a glowing promise, sprawled Zuzu City. The promised land.

He sat down at the edge of the cliff, looking over at it. It made him sad, because now there was at least, by his calculations, another 6-8 weeks added to his potential move out date. He took a drag and ashed the smoke, blowing it out.

Zuzu City.

With the Mirage.

With William.

Who was now in Pelican Town.

He inhaled. For a moment, he felt lightheaded, and he exhaled. Just as the taste of the tobacco lingered on his tongue, he took another hit, focusing on the lights below.

He'd wanted to be apart of that beautiful light show. A place where you could meet a man in a dark club, eyes meeting...hands trailing.

Sebastian closed his eyes, for a moment reliving that first moment. William, all power and focused determination. He leaned back and let himself relax into the grass. He looked up into stars, their bright spots barely hidden by the cloud of smoke that he was puffing out into the cool night. Around him the woods sang a song of cheer and peace. He closed his eyes again, finally letting all that frustration ease out.

He couldn't keep antagonizing Demetrius. He couldn't keep putting his mom through their fights.

And it hadn't been a bad fight, he reflected, as he took another puff on his dying little cigarette. No one had thrown a punch this time. No one had called the other terrible names....other than implying that he was a loser and a suck on resources.

He lit another cigarette when the one he was smoking died.

His mouth taste burnt but he didn't care.

He pushed himself up off of the grass and looked back at the glowing lights of the city. They had always memorized him. The city that had taken his dad and swallowed him up.

He normally shied away from thinking about his dad. It hurt too much. Too many missed birthdays. Too many missed science fairs. His mom's grim face while she revitalized her woodworking hobby into a fullfledged business.

Long hours looking for frogs while she argued with contractors about time frames and proper framing.

Inhale memories.

Exhale pain.

He'd never told his mom that he was looking for his Dad. It would have hurt her too much. And after Demetrius had fallen head over heels, so focused on the beautiful carpenter...well, no one had thought much about him now had they.

He scowled and rubbed his face, pulling at his hair. Then looked up through his fingers at the city.

He'd looked for his dad.

He'd found him.

Sometimes you shouldn't ask questions you weren't ready to have answered.

 


	19. Lightning Strike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stormy days bring back stormy feelings.

It was raining when William woke up the next day and he felt a blend of relief- no more torturous watering of the forever thirsty strawberries- and gloom at the dreary day.

He waited around, gathering laundry. He made the bed. He cleaned his bathroom. Still, the rain poured. He groaned. No getting around it. He put on an old pair of BDU pants that he shoved into a pair of sand colored boots. He pulled his hair into a topknot and rolled his head over his shoulders. The boots were water tight and between the bloused boots, the extra pair of socks and his old BDU jacket, he felt like he’d keep most of the yuck off.

He stepped out into the day and popped his collar up, buttoning the jacket. He was going to the beach. It was too wet to forage for wood and he figured that in this sort of mess, the sea would spit out something worth selling. He shivered and grit his teeth as water began to drip down his neck, soaking the back of his t-shirt. The rain was steady and soft, soaking into everything as it trickled from the grey skies.

He hated it.

It was quiet in the town, the rain keeping people indoors. He wondered about them as he walked on water-slick cobblestones, trying to distract himself. No birds sang in the wet morning. He could see lights shining from behind curtains but those were tucked tightly against the chill. It was dreary and humid, the rain warm and slow.

Eerie. He felt eyes on the back of his neck and let out a breath, looking around. Didn’t it bother anyone else about all the weird shit that happened around here?

 _After all, they have magic beasties right up in their community center_ , he thought, avoiding a puddle. _And no one even talks about it?_

How did they function with that sort of bizarre mojo within their city limits?

William crossed the bridge from the town limits to the trail down to the beach, his boots squeaked and the sky cracked with a bit of thunder. He shuddered, the sound too similar to mortars from the field.

He trudged on, determined that he wasn’t going to let the storm chase him home. Times like this when he felt like every sounds was a gateway to Flashback Land, the only answer was to exhaust his body to the point of not caring about anything.

He was in luck when he got to the sandy shores. Shells lined the coast, water lapping over the beach, crashing noisily. The sound almost drowned out the hateful rain. He began to scour the beach, the valuable shells that old Willy payed decent gold for plentiful. He started on the far end and knelt, beginning the chore. He picked through a handful of shells and dusted off the biggest one, letting the rain rinse it before chunking it into his bucket.

After the third shell, it was routine. Find a shell, dust off sand. Inspect. Drop into bucket.

Bend. Look. Drop.

Look. Drop.

Drop.

Drop.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

William froze as the hateful grey seeped around him. His heart began to pound and he froze, eyes locked on the sandy shore. The pink shell in his hand bled out color, taking on the greyscale haze from around him.

This wasn’t happening. He squeezed his eyes shut but it just made the rain louder, the sounds of the ocean bleeding out of focus. He sucked air through his nose but it didn’t help fill his lungs. He puffed then sucked air in again, breathing too fast, too caught up in the sudden onslaught of despair. The waves on the shore crashed and broke, just like the despair he was suddenly consumed with. It made no sense, he tried to tell himself. It was just rain. It was just weather, no different from snow or a breeze. Just weather. He was okay.

He was safe.

He was alive.

When he risked opening his eyes he could see into his bucket, a collection of what should be bright shells. But he couldn’t see the color on them, couldn’t feel the bucket handle underneath his fingers. His heart slammed and spots began to form over his eyes.

“Will?”

The name broke through the panic. The sound was sharp. A stripe of color that hit like lightening, searing him through. It was enough to crack the haze he was currently trapped in. He snagged onto it like a life line.

He turned and saw Bastian staring at him across the beach, a dark umbrella clutched in his right hand. His black hair was plastered against his head despite the cover, as if he’d been standing out in the storm for a while. His hoodie was wet and he didn’t even have the hood up. He wore his skinny jeans bunched around his shoes, which, William noticed, were also black. A sharp, deep black that cut through the greyline of his vision.

“Hey,” William said, standing, pulling from long practice of pretending to be normal.

“Didn’t expect you to be all the way out here on a day like this,” Bastian said, amused. The grim motherfucker was actually smiling. William felt some of the tightness leave his chest at the slash of white teeth.

“Well,” he said, shrugging, “Working that hustle, you know? Strawberries wiped out my savings this week and I wanted to make some cash from Willy.”

Bastian moved closer and after a second the rain stopped beating on his head.

“Well,” he said, looking around, “We’re alone. Want me to show you my favorite thing?”

“Sure,” William said, that noose of panic easing completely, all the grey fading back out to the normal muted colors from the overcast. “Lead on.”

*

Sebastian felt Will’s hand in his own and thrilled at the danger in it. Well, semi-danger. In the entirety of his life in Pelican Town, he’d never known anyone willing to brave the beach when it was raining. His mom had often fretted that he’d fall off the wet boardwalk and drown in the wild ocean, but the frogs had only come out when it was wet. As a kid, that’s all he’d wanted was a pet frog, so he’d gotten used to the rain. As he’d gotten older, he appreciated it even more because it was guaranteed solitude.

Yet, as was his normal, Will defied the expectations he had for most people.

“Everyone likes to watch the sea,” he told him. Will was squeezing his hand tightly, as if hanging on in the storm. It made his heart race. He rushed his words, “You know, they always come when the sun is out and the sky is blue.” He felt his cheeks getting red but was too thrilled to see his reaction to let it fluster him too badly. “But the sea isn’t really interesting unless she has a storm to play with.”

He slowed when they got to the edge of the boardwalk, the wet boards squeaking as they stood. He gestured out to the rolling waves.

“Behold,” he said, smiling over at him, “My favorite sight in this entire backwoods town.”

Will leaned over and set the bucket of shells down on the wood then, without a word, pulled Sebastian’s back against his chest, squeezing him close as the water crashed against the posts of the dock.

He was…shivering.

“Will?”

“Shhh, just,” Will rested his head on his own, demonstrating that once more he was taller than a man had a right to be, “please, let me hold you a while, okay?”

It was so out of character that Sebastian had nothing to say to it. He nodded and then after a moment, reached up to hold onto Wills’ forearm, crossed like a band over his own chest. Will’s body was still, his fingers firm on his shoulder as he held him, the other hand closed around Sebastian’s and then they were holding the umbrella together. In front of them, the waves crashed and played, racing forwards and then peaking into white spray, their colors a myriad of slate, midnight blue capped with bright white froth. He raised his eyes and focused on the clouds, smears of grey and cream that almost blended into the sea right at the edge of the horizon.

“You know,” he said, running his hands over the hair on William’s arm, “Most people don’t like the stormy weather.”

“Understandable.”

“But to me? It’s my favorite type of sky.”

William was silent.

Sebastian sank into the quiet, sank into it like a blanket. It covered him up and wrapped him tight, this intimacy. Will, standing like a stone, immobile even against the wind and spray of the ocean. He gave a small chuckle.

“Most people,” he said, “Make me anxious. I don’t want to talk when they’re around.” He leaned his head back, rubbing his hair into Will’s beard. “But with you? I feel like I can.”

Will didn’t answer, just flexed the arm. It reassured him. Sebastian went on.

“No one looks out at the sea when she’s all crazy and wild with wind and rain. But I think that’s when she’s the most beautiful.”

“No one likes to deal with crazy, Bastian,” William said gruffly. “Freaks them out.”

Sebastian frowned. They weren’t talking about the sea any more. He focused on the horizon.

“Maybe they can’t understand it. Can’t see its beauty.”

“Crazy isn’t beautiful, babe.”

Sebastian shrugged. “Maybe crazy is just different.”

“No, I don’t mean quirky. I mean bat-shit, gibbering, life destroying crazy. You don’t want to see that, Bastian. No one does. It’s not romantic. It’s not pretty.”

“The sea in the storm is awe-inspiring and something that makes me feel more alive than any other time that I’m breathing,” Sebastian murmured, starting to push the arm off. “I thought you’d get that.”

Will dropped the arm and Sebastian could finally look at him. And was instantly frightened.

Will’s face wasn’t its normal quirky smirk. Instead he looked anguished, like he was intensely hurting, his jaw muscles tight and his eyes focused beyond them both, locked on that horizon.

Just like they’d been when he’d talked about his Heroin usage, looking off at something else.

“Will?”

Will shut his eyes then smiled, the motion not meeting those eyes. “Yeah?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Liar.

Sebastian hesitated and then, moving on instinct, reached up, tugging on the end of his beard, turning his head down. William moved forward, his free arm snaking around him. Sebastian had offered the kiss as an experiment, but was immediately flooded with that same sparking passion that Will had given him their first night, his body trying to devour him, trying to pull him close, locking onto him like he was drowning and Sebastian was the life preserver.

“Let’s go back to my house,” Will groaned. “I need you, Bastian, say yes.”

Sebastian shivered, the raw ache in Will’s voice rocking him down to his toes.

“Will I— ”

William’s face was locked into someplace far away, his fingers tight on his shoulders. Sebastian swallowed and then, as lightening snapped above his head, nodded.

“Yeah. C’mon, Will. Let’s go.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> Thanks for reading this far. :D
> 
> I update every other day so please expect the next chapter on Tuesday, August 29th. Then there will be a gap because I'll be away at DragonCon. Chapter 21 will go up on Wednesday September 6th.


	20. Lighthouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is your official NSFW warning y'all.

William wasn’t sure if they managed to make it back to his house without being seen, but if they had he’d deal with it on another day.

Sebastian had been quiet, his hand dropping William’s as soon as they’d left the privacy of the beach. That wasn’t a good sign, but William’s starvation for company was so severe at the moment that he figured he’d take what he could get.

William snagged the mail as they got onto the property, three letters, and tucked them under his arm. A few moments later they were in the dark house out of the rain. He squinted around, the dimness only relieved by the banked coals in this fireplace. Before he could offer Sebastian a seat, the lean man had crossed the room and begun prodding the banked coals in William’s little hearth to life.

William sank down into the single wooden chair that creaked on his table. Sebastian wasn’t speaking or looking at him, and now that they were in the safety of his house William questioned if this had been the best idea. He studied Sebastian. His movements were jerky and he looked entirely too focused on building the fire back up. William decided not to push his luck and instead focused on his boots, unlacing them and taking them off to put to the side. He loosened the legs of his pants, putting the blousing bands on his table next to the mail. He peeled off wet socks and stood up, crossing to hang them on a hook Pops had probably added to the mantle for this exact purpose.

He cast a look sideways at Sebastian and appreciated the way the light played off the angles of his face. His cheeks, his nose…it all was so symmetrical and striking. He looked like he’d stepped out a daydream, all shadowy and mysterious.

Sebastian noticed him looking and blushed.

“What?”

“Nothing,” William assured, memorizing the way Sebastian’s eyes reflected the flames. Sebastian shifted away, crossing his arms and leaned against the wall. The shadow he cast was long and angular.

“Does this place even have electricity?”

William blinked distracted from his fantasizing.  Sebastian was looking around the single room as if he didn’t notice William undressing him with his eyes. William coughed and rubbed the back of his neck, firmly kicking his libido in the nuts.

“Uh, not yet. I’ve got to talk to your mom about helping me expand it.”

Sebastian turned and leaned against the opposite wall and for a moment, William tried to see the room from his eyes.

One bed in the right corner, near the door. The fire place on the opposite wall. An old battery-powered 3-inch emergency tv sat on his table. One wooden chair that he was sitting in. Threadbare rug under the bed. A crate half full of MREs. A kettle hanging from a hook on the hearth and a single chipped bowl on the table full of wilting spring flowers.

It wasn’t much at all.

“I’d say so. You’d have to wire up some power if you want to have internet after the house expansion,” Sebastian turned and pulled his hoodie over his head, the black t-shirt underneath clinging to his pecs. The side of the shirt had a stretch of white fractal lightening that climbed from the hem to stretch over his shoulder. William was entranced. Sebastian was oblivious, hanging the sweatshirt on another one of Pop’s hooks so it could dry out.

“I do have hot water,” he offered. He nodded towards the fireplace. “Pops set up some type of thermal thing.”

Sebastian cocked his head to the side. “Yeah, Mom mentioned something about it. It’s connected to the old spa.”

“There is a spa in town?”

“Oh yeah, but there was a rockslide last month, so no one in town can get to it through the mountain path. It sucks because the train station is up there too. Joja’s people working on the old quarry and it caused a chain reaction. Who knows when they’ll get it fixed.”

William ticked that as yet another reason to hate his old employer.

They remained silent for another long stretch, the only sound the crackling logs in the fire. William didn’t know why he hesitated. Sebastian had asked to go slow, asked for him to be patient, but that kiss at the dock had rocked the color back into his world. Sebastian’s lips were a meteor of feeling and warmth in the cold wasteland of his brain. He wanted to feel him again, wanted to get back to that place where they were inside each other. Yet between them was all this…distance.

“What’s that?”

Sebastian was looking over at the bundle of mail that he’d dropped on the table. He bit his lip but then turned away, giving Sebastian the space he wanted, giving into the excuse to talk about something else other than finishing what they’d started on the dock.

“Let’s see,” he said, sitting back in the chair and pulling out his multitool, snapping the knife accessory out with a ‘click’. Sebastian came over and stood over his shoulder, his hands resting on his back, rubbing gently. He relaxed as Sebastian’s long fingers find tight muscles and stroked them. So this was the way to coax his Bastian into affection? He tried to focus on the letter, letting his relief at the touch show in his body and turned the paper so that the glow of the fire illuminated the text.

“Looks like this one is from Lewis. Apparently there is something called the Flower Dance comin- ow, Bastian, didn’t realize you had such a grip.”

Sebastian flinched back, throwing his hands up, “Sorry!”

William turned his head and raised a brow.

“You know anything about this Flower Dance?”

*

Red alert. All hands on deck. Abort this line of questioning….

“Oh, Uh,” he replied, fully cognizant of the fact that he was stammering.

Will raised one thick eyebrow, waited, but when all he got was Sebastian’s panicked silence, he rolled his eyes then looked back down at the letter from Lewis.

“Mhm. Lewis says that I can join this dance if I can find a partner.” He turned back to Sebastian and grinned. “Wanna dance with me?”

Sebastian felt all the color drain from his face before blurting, “I already told Abigail I’d dance with her.”

Will smirked then shook his head. “I see. So. No public displays of affection at a public dance, huh?”

“You…” he tried, “You said—”

“Relax Bastian,” Will said, turning towards the second letter. “If you don’t want to cut a rug with me I’ll leave it be. I’d probably step on both of your feet.”

Sebastian felt like he could breathe again and rubbed the back of his neck. Will was already moving onto the next letter and frowning.

“Well shit.”

“What?”

He scowled, then handed it over and standing up to cross the room, snatching up the kettle and moving towards a sink in his bathroom.

Sebastian stepped closer to the fire and read, “ _Dear_ Mr. Bauer _, It has come to the attention of Joja that you are a local grower of produce. Joja prides itself on its relationships with all the members of the community. We invite you to visit our local office and discuss the methods that we could employ to better serve the community of_ Pelican Town. _Our local agent_ Morris _would be more than happy to assist you in joining the Joja Family. – Sincerely yours, Joja Producing Sourcing Department_.”

Sebastian looked up as Will put the kettle on a swinging hook and turned it over the fire place.

“Joja wants to buy your produce?”

“It’s another method of trying to undercut Pierre,” he grumbled, “damn company tries to take over everything it touches. Sebastian handed the letter back to him and he tossed it in the fire, scowling into the flames.

Will’s face was pensive as he watched the paper blacken and curl. Shadows danced over the room and his gruff farmer looked less like a peaceable man who grew strawberries and more like the warrior he’d once been. Sebastian reached a hand out, placing it on his shoulder.

Will turned his head and again, those blue eyes were searching, hoping for something. It warmed him faster than the fire did.

“You know,” Sebastian said, “Just because I’m not ready to dance with you in front of other people doesn’t mean that I won’t be one day.”

Will’s smile softened his entire face. His reached for him then and Sebastian went to him, eager for the embrace, eager for the following kiss and quiet sighs.

Will turned and then pulled Sebastian to straddle his lap, sitting at the end of his bed. His hands roamed over Sebastian’s chest and then slid around, pulling his t-shirt out of his jeans. Sebastian gasped as Will began to trail kisses up his neck and to his ear, his hands like hot brands over his back and hips. Will didn’t push things, moving with deliberate and self-restrained heat. Sebastian began to get lost in the soothing ritual of kissing and touching, their motions fanning the flames of his arousal, the build slow and steady. He was considering pulling Will’s shirt off when he heard a hiss and sizzle.

“Your kettle,” he managed to warn as he saw the top of the spout bubble with water. Will let out a small curse then shifted Sebastian to the side and rose, chest heaving. Sebastian felt a thrill. He’d been the one to do that. He’d been the one to cause someone as strong and intimidating as William Bauer to have a shaking hand as he pulled the kettle off the flames.

“Tea?” He asked, his voice gruff.

Sebastian’s body thrummed as he watched him. Will turned his head towards him and their eyes met. The slow building heat flared as they met gazes and in the fire born shadows with the rain pounding on the roof, Sebastian wondered if he’d ever seen something so world rocking. Will didn’t speak as he crossed the distance between them and Sebastian didn’t want him to. They came together again, this time harder, meeting as a tangle lips and limbs.

Will’s hands were in his hair and Sebastian felt himself pinned down on the bed, felt his belt loosen and heard the buckle fall back with a jingle, and they both groaned as Will dipped his hand into his pants.

“You’re already hard for me Bastion?” he sounded like he was amazed. Sebastian turned his face away chagrined but then Will stroked him and he bowed his back up at the motion.

“You’re enjoying my mortification,” he mumbled before biting back another embarrassing moan

“Why is it,” Will rasped in his ear, “that when you look at me, all of the grey in my life just drains away?”

Sebastian turned his face and caught Will’s lips, fingers intertwining in his top knot, and pulled the elastic band free. Soft hair fell down like a curtain. He met Will’s eyes, knowing he must look desperate and foolish but unable to stop himself from speaking.

“It seems only fair, considering how you’ve taken my world and turned it upside down.” Then, with more bravado than he felt, he pulled off Will’s shirt and surged up to meet his chest with his own, digging his fingers into Will’s bare back.

Will groaned and leaned so that Sebastian had room to explore. He barked out a gasp as Sebastian sank his teeth into Will’s collarbone, marking the spot over the flying eagle with his bite. Sebastian grinned and their foreplay became rougher, Will’s clothes joining his own on the floor. He was on his back with Will tickling him. Then, a hip shift later, Will was on his back cackling in sexy abandon as Sebastian tickled him back. The wrestling became more than a game as they began to shift grips, and then, he was kissing Will again, the movements hungry and desperate. Will threw an arm to the side and fumbled with the drawer next to his bed. Sebastian heard the bottle of oil was open with a snap.

Sebastian clung to Will’s shoulders as he felt Will’s thumbs spread him, gasping out the pleasure/pain of the invasion. There was a foil wrapper and Will’s whispered, “Are you ready? You feel ready, babe…let me in….”And then they were together, and Will had him, arms locked, lips and hands and breaths mingled and the ride was more exhilarating than the last time they were together.

It was fast this time, fast as they both scrambled for purchase, mussing the previously tight sheets. Will’s aggressive thrust made Sebastian cry out, his voice thready and airy as Will’s powerful thighs flexed with purpose.

The bed creaked as they chased each other to completion. At one point, he was sure he was digging his fingers into the tight muscles of Will’s ass, Will’s fist pumping him with every plunge.

He knew he came first, felt his balls tighten and before he could warn Will of the oncoming explosion, it was too late. He panted, wide eyed and stared up, locked on Will’s face. Will smirked, a victorious, before he locked both hands on Sebastian’s hips and pistoned. Sebastian arched and gripped Will’s wrists, clinging on for dear life as Will pounded him. He groaned and then, Will’s body tightened, his face straining.

And just like that it was over. Will lost his tension and shifted, holding himself up by his arms as he gasped and cried, his body shuddering.

He was crying, Sebastian realized, shocked. Instinctively he reached up, pulling Will down, cradling him against his leaner frame.

Will clung, too tight, a little too hot, his body racked with spasms and shudders.

“Shhhh,” he whispered into the shadows of the room. “Shh, Will. Will, you’re okay. It’s okay.”

Will nodded, gasping and sobbing into his shoulder, as if he’d held back for so long that he had nothing left to pull from. Sebastian weathered the storm, holding still and taking shallow breaths as Will’s grip gradually loosened, his breathing going from hitched hiccups to smoother inhales.

Despite their closeness, he was starting to get cold. Sebastian shifted them, coaxing the big man inch by inch until he could get them under the blankets. Will reached down between them and he felt the latex brush his leg before Will gave it a twist and tossed it into a can near the bed. Then they were a burrito of blankets and limbs. Will’s breathing was calming more and more and soon Sebastian had Will’s head nestled on his shoulder, his arm protectively covering his neck.

Sebastian was starting to doze off when Will’s rasping voice, gruff and deep pulled him back to alertness.

“Sorry.”

“Why?”

“Freaked you out. Acted…crazy.”

“You’re not crazy. It was just intense.”

More silence. Sebastian wondered if Will was falling asleep and started to close his eyes.

“It’s never that intense with anyone else, Bastian. Not even with…” he swallowed, “…well, not with anyone.”

Sebastian’s mind seized upon the slip and stored it away for later. “Then I’ve been having the wrong kind of sex until now.”

Will snorted then snuggled him closer.

“Any sex with you is the right kind of sex, Bastian.”

“There you go,” Sebastian said, fingers trailing through his hair, “saying ridiculous greeting card mottos.”

Will propped up on an elbow with a quirked brow. “What sort of cards have you been getting? Hmm?”

Sebastian shook his head and pulled him back down.

“Stay still and let me nap, you giant mountain man. I’m exhausted.”

“Oh,” Will said, not sounding apologetic at all, “I’m sorry. Did I do that?”

“Shut up.”

“Only because you asked nicely, Bastian.”

Sebastian closed his eyes lulled to sleep by rain and the crackling of the logs on Will’s fire.

*

Will didn’t sleep while Sebastian napped. In fact, he didn’t know if he was capable of something as soothing and normal as sleep as he replayed his breakdown. It made no sense. Sex had always been a release and then a shift of pain to euphoria. He’d never felt like he was breaking apart. He’d never just exploded on someone like that…been so out of control

He waited until Sebastian was giving small snores before slipping out of his bed, shifting the blankets to make up for his lack of warmth. Sebastian didn’t stir and he was satisfied that he’d be okay for a bit.

He pulled on his shorts, pulled his BDU pants and crossed over to the table. He felt raw. Sebastian had thought the storm across the sea was beautiful, had admired the way the lightning danced with the waves.

But he’d never been drowned by the waves that came from the overwhelming wind. He’d never been electrocuted. He picked up the last letter that he hadn’t wanted Sebastian to pay attention and stepped over to the fire.

He skimmed the envelope. His lips tightened as he felt the fine paper, saw the beautiful handwriting. He looked at name on top of the return address.

Cameron Baker.

He closed his eyes and then, with a toss of his hand, let the fire eat it, unopened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading!
> 
> I'm going to be in Atlanta for DragonCon this Labor Day weekend so Chapter 21 will be posted when I get back. I'm tentatively aiming for Wednesday September 6th, but we'll see how I'm feeling after getting back to work. At the latest it will be up on Friday September 8th around 8-10 CST.
> 
> As always, if you liked this, comments are the best thanks. ;)  
> You can find me at dracoangelicawritesfanfiction.tumblr.com or @WriterHolec on Twitter. <3 <3 <3


	21. Flower Dance Follies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who did the ghost take to the dance?
> 
> HER BOO!
> 
> (snicker)
> 
> In which Sebastian tries to play it straight and William is bent out of shape.

Sebastian woke up alone in Will’s bed. He blinked into the shadowed room. The fire that they’d built up had begun to die, and he shivered as the cold creeped in. Pulling the blankets around himself he sat up. He cocked his head to the side and heard the shower from Will’s tiny bathroom, its steady water pulse a different frequency from the rain beating on the roof. He took the moment of privacy to stand up and stretch before locating his discarded clothes.

Will emerged just as he was checking his hoodie for dryness. Sebastian felt his mouth go dry. Will stood in the bathroom doorframe, a towel tucked low on his hips, muscles and tattoos on display. There was a pattern of spent bullet shells that went down his left side, their shells outlined in grey and black lines.

“Hey,” Will said, rubbing his head with the other towel. “You heading out?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian said, hurriedly pulling the hooding on and keeping his body turned to the side to hide any residual arousal that had inconveniently made itself known by seeing Will again.

“Need me to walk you back?”

Sebastian snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. I go home alone all the time. My family is used to me wandering around on rainy days.”

He checked his pockets and found his packet of cigarettes. He’d bought a fresh pack on his way down to the beach and the craving hit him like a whip. He held out the pack and shook it in an offering to share with Will.

Will nodded then tossed his head towards the doorway.

“Porch should be pretty dry,” he said, just as he dropped the towel next to his table, squatting to pull a crate out that had tightly folded clothes in it.

Sebastian sucked in a breath at the ass that towel revealed.

“Hmmmm….”he said, unable to help the appreciation.

Will looked over his shoulder and the asshole was smirking.

“Why,” he said, waggling thick eyebrows at him, “are you ogling me?”

“I’ll be outside,” he muttered, feeling exposed at how easily Will could play him. He’d done it on purpose, damn it. Sebastian felt his face flood with color and he turned away, quickly shot towards the door. William’s laugh chased him.

He stepped underneath the shelter of the porch and with a few movements lit a cigarette, the soothing nicotine giving him a buzz of relaxation. He squatted on the bare porch, his back against the house as he smoked. He couldn’t see very far in front of him, but based on the shadows that the house was throwing out, it looked as though Will had created a clear pathway from the his place to the northern path that he would take to go home. That would make the hike home that much easier.

Halfway through his cigarette, William stepped out, faded jeans and no shirt. He scowled at him.

“Will,” he chided, “It’s raining. You’re going to be cold.”

Will popped a squat next him and produced a flat plate to use as an ashtray. Just as Sebastian took it, he swooped in for a surprise kiss, laying a noisy smack on his cheek. Sebastian about fell over and Will grinned, triumphant. “I know how to fix cold, Bastian.” He sat too close for anyone who might come by to think they were just a couple of buddies sharing a smoke. Sebastian glanced over at the entrance to the farm but the little dirt road was empty. He sighed and then pulled a cig out, handing it over. Will lit it with Sebastian’s lighter and then threw an arm around him. And like that they were snuggled up on the porch, backs to the house with the rain a curtain against the world, smoke flaring out of their mouths and noses. He began to relax. Maybe, just maybe this wasn’t so bad.

“So,” Will ventured, “this Flower Dance thing. Tell me about it.”

Sebastian tapped ash onto the plate, scowling. “Ugh, it’s the worst festival of the year. But Pelican Town is a bunch of dirty traditionalists.”

Will made a smoke ring and Sebastian raised an eyebrow, impressed. “Go on,” Will urged. He ashed his own cigarette.

Sebastian lit another off of his current then rubbed it out against their ashtray.

“So apparently a long time ago, there was a forest spirt.”

“Wait,” Will interrupted, “you mean like magic?”

Sebastian shrugged. “I guess. You wanna hear the story or not?”

Will waved his fingers in a ‘go on’ gesture, the red cherry glowing against the dimness.

Sebastian pensively stared out into the woods. “So this spirit guy, he falls in love with a human girl. And one day he lures this girl that he fell for out into the woods and dances for her. That year, the flowers bloomed so big and so plentifully that the village was able to sell more than ever. Some people even had huge cauliflowers that were as big as people.”

William grunted in disbelief and Sebastian raised and dropped a shoulder. He took a drag and exhaled. “It brought prosperity and wealth to the town. The next year, the girl went out to meet the spirit and they danced again. Another bumper crop.”

“Huh,” Will said, his fingers beginning to rub gentle and unconscious circles against Sebastian’s shoulder.

“Anyway,” Sebastian continued, “One day the girl died and the prosperity ends. No more big flowers and no big bumper crops. So in remembrance to those dances that she used to preform with the spirit, her friends and neighbors started to go out on her day and dance for the forest. Apparently it worked. Since then the village has been making their young people do it forever and ever after.”

Will cocked his head. “That’s a pretty cool story, Bastian. So why do you hate it so much?”

“Because it’s bullshit,” Sebastian groused. “There are no such thing as spirits and they certainly don’t care about a bunch of kids dancing weird dances in the woods.”

“I dunno. Yoba created the world from a seed. He cared about growing things.”

“Yoba is a myth people created to feel better about things,” Sebastian said.

“Maybe.” After a moment, William looked into the distance. “You sure you don’t want to dance with me tomorrow?”

“Honestly, Will, I don’t want to dance with anyone. But if I don’t dance, then Mom will be upset and I’ll have to hear about it for, oh, 100 years. So I’ll go but I won’t be happy about it.”

“You could be happy if you danced with me….” Will offered.

Sebastian looked down, tense. “Don’t push me on it, okay? I’m… I’m not ready for us to be public.”

Will leaned his head back and sighed. Sebastian felt irritation flare, “You said you were willing to try things my way! It’s only been a couple of weeks, Will.”

Will nodded, “Yeah. A couple of weeks of stolen moments and cataclysmic sex when you relax enough to be with me.” He scowled. “I don’t think people would freak out about you being gay as much as you think they would.”

Sebastian shrugged out from under his arm and ground out the dying butt into the ashtray. “I’m not going to have another fight with you after you fucked me sideways,” he said, keeping his voice cool.

Will opened and closed his fists , banging his head softly against the wall. He puffed out a flare of smoke from his nose, looking for all the world like a frustrated bull. “Fine,” he said after a third and final bang. “Fine. We don’t fight.” He stood, putting the plate to the side.

“Just act cool tomorrow,” Sebastian suggested, “me and you and Abby and Sam, we can go hang out somewhere after. Somewhere private, okay?”

Will opened his arms and Sebastian accepted, feeling like, maybe he’d actually won this time. Will’s chest was warm, the skin hot to the touch, the skin smoothed. He had to shave himself, he decided. He could hear a deep echo in his chest as he spoke.

“Fine. But I won’t like watching you with Abby. Makes me jealous.”

Sebastian leaned back, giving him an incredulous look, “You cannot be serious.”

But Will was glaring, clearly very serious. Sebastian ducked his head and let him go, pulling up his hood.

“Right,” he muttered, “Well, you’ll see. It’s not a big deal. See you tomorrow.”

Will grunted, which was just so mature. Sebastian didn’t look back as he made his way home, but he could feel Will’s eyes on his back until he left the property.

*

It was sunny and bright when William stepped out the next morning. Ingrid ran out between his legs as soon as the door opened, eager to meet the day. William wasn’t as enthused. Straight dances had been the bane of his childhood school days. He’d taken scores of family friends to events and finally, out of frustration after a particularly bad experience had asked out his date’s brother.

He’d never looked back.

His military career hadn’t eased the pressure of formal occasions. If anything it made him hate them more. Still, he was going to the shindig, if nothing else than to trade barbs with Abigail as Sebastian wore his beard out in front of the fellow citizens of Pelican Town. He finished watering the forever thirsty berries and checked the soil, weeding here and there. Then he went and showered, pulled out his dress Blues from underneath his bed and got to work.

He groomed and shaved the sides of his head, pinning his hair into a proper top knot that would be hidden underneath his hat. With the hat on he looked a bit more clean cut, his faded sides mimicking the high and tight he’s kept up while on active duty. His beard was against regulation-couldn’t get a good seal on a gas mask with that giant bush- but his days of gas masks and war zones were over and the whiskers did their job of projecting power and wisdom. They also did a damn fine job of hiding the shrapnel scars that he couldn’t tattoo over.

He brushed and pressed the uniform, his iron an old metal paperweight that he’s heated through on the hearth. After he was pleased, he spit shined his dress shoes and cleaned up his house. Once he had procrastinated to the last minute he gave up putting off the inevitable and dressed.

The walk to the western field past Cindersap’s big branches took him almost an hour, but the weather was remarkably good with very little humidity, despite the recent rain. Strange that, he puzzled. He stored it away for examination on a later date. He still had to go meet up with that trespassing wizard at some point and figure out the word things going on in this place. The dance had a legend steeped in mysticism and magic after all. Maybe he’s learn something important to the overall scheme of how things worked.

When he crossed the makeshift bridge into the field he was surprised to see such a turnout. Like the egg festival, this party was packed. There was a big clearing in the middle and the townsfolk all were scattered out around it, chatting and catching up.

“Bill!”

He turned his head and saw Jodi waving. She looked radiant in a flower print dress, her eyes sparkling. “Bill, I’m so glad you came! There is someone I want to introduce you to!”

William smiled and nodded, stepping up closer so she didn’t have to shout across the field. A few people had turned their heads but went back to conversations. He didn’t see Sebastian or Robin around. Demetrius and Maru weren’t there yet either. He shrugged. It wasn’t like Sebastian was going to want to spend time with him at a thing like this anyway.

Which was fucking annoying considering he’s practically shattered into a million pieces the day before all because of being with the fucker. So totally unfair.

Jodi grabbed his hand and beamed.

“I’ve been thinking about our talks over the last couple of weeks,” she explained. “And I had a wonderful solution!”

“You’re keeping me in the dark here, Jodi,” he said, “What’s this big introduction?”

She led him over to a man he’s seen in passing at the bar and at the egg festival. Both times he’s been too focused on Sebastian to pay much attention but as they neared he couldn’t help but wonder which Mediterranean coastline he’d popped up from. His hair was luxuriously long. It was a waterfall of golden brown silk and framed his face in effeminate waves. He wore a long formal blue coat and dressed with more care than any straight man William had ever known.

“Elliott,” Jodi greeted, “This is the new farmer that I was telling you about.”

Jodi looked left and right then dropped her voice so that only the two men could hear her, “Elliott is ALSO gay Bill.” She leaned back, proud of herself for her introduction.

Bill raised an eyebrow at the words. Jodi beamed, proud.

Elliott, to his credit, mostly looked amused by the statement and for a moment, they shared a look of understanding.

_Straight women._

William decided that he might as well welcome the attempt at friendship regardless of Jodi’s intentions towards matchmaking. He stretched out a hand.

“Hi. People around here call me Bill.”

“An honor to finally meet the new farmer that everyone has been talking about.” Elliott said, trading grips, his voice elegant and tinged with a proper accent that was a blend of upper crust and art amusement. His fingers were soft and gentle.

Jodi clasped her hands under her chin and said, “You two should partner for the Flower Dance, Elliott! I’m sure that it would be a relief to finally have the opportunity to be yourself.”

William’s eyebrows shot up in amazement at the audacity of the suggestion. He knew he loved fast hook ups when he was single, but he’d never in his life had a friend shove him towards another man and practically hiss “now kiss” as they did so.

Elliott laughed, “We’ll consider it Jodi. I think I see Caroline looking for you though.”

Jodi flushed. “Well, that’s just great! I can’t wait to see you two be perfect during the ceremonial dance!”

William nodded slowly, not trusting himself to speak. He wasn’t convinced that Jodi had been broken in enough as a friend to survive exactly what he thought of her highhanded initiative…but if she remained in front of him for much longer he might be out a laundress and a weekly cup of coffee.

Elliott diplomatically let him her get out of earshot before looking back at him.

As if connected by a psychic wavelength both men blurted out at the same time,

“Please take no offense—”

“No offense, dude—”

_“But you’re not my type.”_

The both froze at the mutual realization then chuckled. Elliott rubbed the back of his neck, shifting the hits on his head into careless waves. William just smirked.

“Don’t get me wrong, man,” William said, giving him a once over one more time, “You’re a good looking guy but I uh, am already seeing someone.”

Elliott’s eyebrows climbed. “I see. Well, I AM single but, as appealing as a man in uniform is, I have taken a vow of celibacy until I finish the first chapter of my novel.”

“Just the first chapter?”

Elliott scowled into his cup. “You jest, but I promise, it’s been harder than I expected.”

Will shrugged, waving a hand. “No pressure,” He turned his head and the laughter died in his throat.

Because Sebastian was coming down the path with his family and wore a blue suit that made him resemble a costumed cat.  Just as he was debating what he should do, (hide? Stare? Ignore him?) Abigail made a beeline and threw her arms around Sebastian’s arm, her face shining with some secret smile or joke that she couldn’t wait to share. His chest hurt at the touch, his fists clenched and he narrowed his eyes.

Because Sebastian had wrapped an arm over her waist and was following where she was leading.

“Elliott,” William said, “in the name of helping a guy out, how would you feel about playing a small…game?”

Elliott followed his gaze and then, in a pleasant voice replied, “Why, I do so adore a good folly. Please, dear sir. Do. Tell.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! Did you miss me?
> 
> Next update will be on Friday September 8, 2017 around 8-10 CST. 
> 
> As always any comments and kudos are appreciated. I can be found over on tumblr @dracoangelicawritesfanfiction
> 
> All chapters are un-beta'd so please forgive any mistakes or errors in grammar.


	22. Lurve and other Sparkly Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Flower Dance, Sparkly shit and other escalatory actions

Sebastian felt strangled in the ridiculous blue suit that his mom had pulled out of storage. He hated every aspect of the tight shirt and slightly too small jacket that he’d been wearing since he graduated from high school. But it was traditional. And Maru was stuck in the white spring dress so he didn’t want to whine about it. At least he got pants.

He trailed behind his family as they headed out towards the field. Maru was walking between his mom and Demetrius and he couldn’t help but wistfully think of how good they looked as a family. Maru had inherited a lighter brown complexion from her dad and her hair resembled a burst of burnt red curls reminiscent of his mom’s bright red waves. He didn’t fit into their happy picture at all. Unlike them, he was a remainder of previous mistakes. Too pale and disconnected. He kicked a rock out of the way as he sank into the depressed rut. As if she could feel him thinking about her, Robin turned her head and smiled.

“Sebby, we were just talking about the egg festival a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Abigail lose the egg hunt. Those kids are getting good!”

Sure, he thought, the kids and their big, hairy, egg-daddy who had secured victory. No one had noticed William slipping eggs into their baskets and the little ankle biters hadn’t narced on him yet.

Demetrius smirked. “She might need some comforting at the dance, Seb. Maybe you could see if she wants to come have dinner tonight?”

Sebastian looked at the ground, focusing on his steps. He shrugged.

“Maybe. Maru, you going to invite Doc Harvey?”

Her cheeks colored at that, eyes shooting over to her dad who frowned.

“Haha! Sebastian you joker. Hey! I think I see Penny, be back!” She turned and raced forward towards the bridge.

Demetrius frowned. “Doctor Harvey is too old for Maru.”

Robin rested a hand on Demetrius’s arm lightly, “Oh Demetrius. You know Sebby was just kidding.”

Like an angel of social mercy, Abigail appeared out of thin air, snagging his arm as soon as she saw him.

“Sebastian! Hey!”

Sebastian took the lifeline, wrapping an arm over her waist. She grinned at his mom and step-dad. “Sam just got us punch. I think Pam’s already spiked it.” Before they could drag him back into the conversation, Sebastian spotted Sam and turned. “Bye guys.”

They escaped, Abigail’s head bobbing with her hidden giggles. Sebastian relaxed, seeing that Sam had ALSO been put in the ridiculous suit. As soon as it was safe, away from his family, he let go of Abigail. Sam handed him a glass of punch and Sebastian took a long swallow. Good ole’ Pam had infused the too-sweet fruit beverage with the brace of a strong spirit- probably vodka or whiskey.

“Jeez I hate this holiday.”

Abigail rolled her eyes. “You hate all the holidays, Seb.”

“Not All Hallows’ Night.” He protested.

“Remember the year he managed to win the golden pumpkin?” Sam said.

Abby crossed her arms, the white dress that she wore crinkling and bunching. “Okay, fair. So,” She skimmed her eyes over the field, “there is your boyfriend over there, hanging out with Elliott. You going to let him dance with you today? Finally come out to the world?”

Sebastian swallowed down the panic that the question brought up.

“You know I couldn’t leave you out to sit on the sidelines, Abby,” he said, trying to keep his tone light. “If I don’t dance with you, who will?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Sebastian knew he’d fucked up. Sam stiffened next to him, eyes cutting at him before shoving his hands into his pockets. Abby grew still then said, voice soft, “Oh.” She was blushing. Shit.

“Besides,” Sebastian said, trying to keep his voice light, “No one really knows Will. It’s not like he’ll have a part-” just as he was speaking the words he glanced over at Will. He was wearing the Ferngill Army dress uniform, blue and gold trim over his arms. The sight of him in the official uniform was like a shot of sex to his brain. Will's usual look was scruffy and unkempt. But now the shaved sides of his head looked neat, his hair hidden underneath the sharp cover of his hat. His broad chest was covered with tightly ironed folds...and his medals. He had several really shiny ones.

But the most alarming thing about seeing William was that he was touching Elliott’s back.

It was a shock to the system to see him this way, all properly cleaned up, his beard shaped and was leaning forward with a conspiratorial and intimate look. It wasn't casual. It was too reminiscent of the men he'd seen huddled together months ago at the Mirage bar. William was smirking that sexy smirk he always had when he'd said something inappropriate and scandalizing. Elliott threw his head back, letting out a laugh so loud that Sebastian could see other people noticing and then he reached over and tugged on the end of William’s beard, his tough light and flirty.

Rage roiled through his chest like a fiery ball of pain.

“What the hell,” he hissed.

“What man,” Sam said, his tone mild, “Didn’t you know that Elliott was gay?”

*

William was very satisfied with his antics when he saw Sebastian lose the bored and petulant stare that he wore like a mask. Now, the man was looking at him with absolute fury. He smirked at Elliott and took the other man’s hand…mostly because having his beard tugged on was irritating.

“Alright, I think that pretty much got the effect I was looking for,” he said, tone casual. Then raised a brow because Elliott hadn’t let go of his hand.

“You know,” Elliot said, “This is the most interesting thing I’ve been a part of since I moved to this Podunk nowhere armpit of a town. If you want, I would be willing to push the fiction a bit farther.”

William raised an eyebrow and noted that Elliott was serious.

"Well," he said, glancing over to see that Sebastian was, amazingly enough, still glaring over at them, "I don't want to draw you into anything you didn't sign up for," he said, smoothing out his face. No need for Sebastian to guess what they were talking about over here.

"It's what Jodi said earlier," Elliott said, finally dropping William's hand. "About being ourselves."

William snorted. "Sorry dude, because I know you just met me and all, but I am ALWAYS myself."

Elliott shrugged. "Same. Just, it would be nice to have someone attractive to cut the rug with, as it were. Last year, Leah took pity on me, but I think that she has been hoping to get a break this year."

William could see that Sebastian wasn't looking anymore and instead was focusing on something, stupid probably, that Abigail was saying.

"I'm not that great of a dancer," he said.

"The country dance here isn't anything to write home about, just between the two of us. A lot of bouncing and swinging. Very much a line-style dance."

William weighed it out.

He'd wanted Sebastian to see him flirting. Nothing serious, just something to try and point out to the dense little twink that, maybe, just perhaps, he wasn't the only tail in town like he thought. That maybe, William, was someone he'd have to actually pay attention to instead of to visit in the secret of night and then moodily stomp away from after crushing a man's heart while it still beat inside his chest.

Whoa.

That was an unexpected anger.

It was probably a bad idea, he realized as he looked at Elliott's eyes. The man was of a height with him, if by nothing more than the volume in his luxurious hair. It would be wrong to use him. Wrong to play stupid high school games with a guy like Sebastian, who was-- currently walking over to the center of the field with an arm around Abigail's waist, his fingers curled around her hip as though he didn't care who saw them touching.

"Let's do it," he said, eyes locked on that hand. "Let's give them something to talk about."

*

Sebastian wanted to die.

Scratch that. He wanted to disappear and THEN die so that no one would look at his corpse and all the embarrassing shades that it was turning as he watched Elliott hold Will's hand in public as if such things were normal and to be celebrated.

"What the fuck is that guy doing?" Abigail hissed.

Sam shrugged. "Just because Sebastian is in the closet doesn't mean he has to be."

He drank more of the spiked punch and debated just leaving. No one could really stop him, he realized. He'd been all about getting this day over with but if he had to watch William flirt with another freaking man in front of him, he'd rather just go home and brick his room up. He imagined how his skeleton would look coiled over the keyboard and the macabre image appealed to his fatalistic nature.

"This is bullshit," Abby said, plucking the cup out of Sebastian's hand. "C'mon Sebastian. We're going to go stake out a spot."

"We're going to what?" Sebastian asked, eyes wide as Abby locked her hand onto his wrist.

"You're going to what?" Sam choked, nearly spilling his own punch on his white shirt. He took the glass that Abby shoved into his free hand and held both of them back from his suit as they sloshed.

"He is trying to make you jealous, dumbass," she said, rolling her eyes. "We are going to fight back." She shot a hateful look over at Will. "No one tries to make a fool out of my friends."

Sam’s mouth was open, no sound emerging. He coughed then turned his head, smiling now, like it was all a game. Sebastian could see his fingers were tight around the little glass cups, the whites clear on his nails. And even though he sounded amused, Sebastian was tuned to his friend, tuned to his anger at the current events. Abigail was oblivious, her gaze locked on Will and Elliott. If he went along with this...would it piss off Sam?

He didn't have a chance to decide though because Abby was hauling him towards the middle of the meadow. He swallowed then straightened his back and stepped up, snaking an arm around her waist, gripping her hip as he did. In for 1 gold, in for 1000.

"So," she said, her voice eager, "Here's the plan. We are Together. We are in Lurve, with all that sparkly shit. No one will think you care at all and then where is he? Out and not your problem."

Sebastian nodded, focusing on the top of her head. He couldn’t look into her face without potentially blowing the whole charade.

"Hey, I know," she said, waving over at Hailey, "we get Hailey to take our picture for the town yearbook."

Alarm rose in his throat. He'd, to this point in his life, avoided getting any pictures shot of the two of them enduring this ridiculous dancing holiday. Yet, he glanced sideways and saw that Will, the traitorous bitch, had an arm linked in with Elliott's. And how fucking dare he, honestly. They’d been together YESTERDAY and he couldn’t keep his hands off someone else? He at least had and excuse. Abby didn’t mean anything to him beyond a childhood friend. Yet somehow, like always, Will was ignoring the rules and doing what he wanted.

Well. There were consequences.

Sebastian straightened his spine. No. He wasn't going to let him see that he was affected. If he wanted to play boyfriend chicken, then he better get ready to back down.

"That's the spirit," Abigail said in a whisper. "We townies don't just roll over because a city boy pushes."

He took in a deep breath and then looked down at her, really focusing on her face. Abigail had a good face, as girls went. Her eyes looked bigger somehow and she’s smeared shadow around the outsides in an artistic manner. Abby had always been skilled with makeup, he reflected. When their band had gigs she’d made sure to do the costumes and make up for them, always helping him with the delicate streaks of black.

_Black eyeliner that had stained William’s pillow case months ago._

He pushed away the thought and tried to objectively examine Abigail, to try and understand Sam’s attraction. Her hair was pulled back and she had wore a thick cluster of flowers clustered at her ear. She wore the traditional white dress and for an instant, didn’t look a thing like his best friend. Maybe there was something to this whole legend and its symbolic link to that magical couple of yore.

“Is he watching us?” He asked, feeling nervous while holding onto her side. He had never dared to take the farce this far, too concerned about dealing with his mom’s reaction to the change in their friendship status. Too worried about how people would talk. He skimmed his gaze around the circle. Oh yeah, people were noticing. Haley skipped over to where they stood, a camera around her neck.

“Abigail! You’re dress look so pretty this year! Are those fresh flowers?”

Hailey wore a crown of the stupid plants, her blonde hair falling in artful tresses. He wondered how long the entire mess had taken her to construct and if she’d ever get all the pollen out before she went to bed. And what if there had been bugs in the leaves?

“Oh yeah! Dad is selling big tubs of them over at the front of the meadow,” Abigail said, smiling back. She looked at the camera and then leaned into Sebastian. “Say, you think you could get some pictures of us this year?”

Hailey’s face lit up and she pulled the camera to her eye.

“Oh my gosh, of course!”

Sebastian’s stomach dropped as the lens focused on them. He glanced over again, trying to see if William was furious yet. To see if his own games had the effect he wanted.

William wasn’t looking at him at all. Instead he was in serious discussion with Elliott, a big meaty hand on the more delicate man’s shoulder. He never hated someone as intensely as he hated Elliott in that moment. Hated his poise, his beautiful hair and his handsome face.

Hated that William, _his Will_ , was looking at him with concern.

“Want to strike a pose for the camera?”

He narrowed his eyes, the image of William’s hand on Elliott’s shoulder scorched into his brain.

It hurt. It hurt to see him that way. And all he wanted was to hurt him back.

“Sure,” he said, smoothly, his hands sliding up Abigail’s shoulders. She frowned and then looked up, brows knit. William was looking now. As if he could sense the movement in his periphery. He took in what he saw and scowled.

Good.

Sebastian met his eyes and for a moment they were in perfect sync, as if they were standing next to one another, body language as clear as spoken words.

_Don’t you fucking dare_. William warned.

_Fuck you, I don’t do what you tell me._

And then he leaned down and pressed his lips against Abigail’s just as Hailey’s camera bulb went off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, the best payment for any enjoyment is a comment. If you can't comment, then kudos are nice. If you have friends that like Sebastian shenanigans, please share and let people know about my lil' labor of love. <3
> 
> Next update will be Sunday September 10th 8-10 CST
> 
> To all my Florida readers, I hope you're staying safe and dry. ((HUG))


	23. Dirty Little Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lose lips sink ships.... RIP S. S. SquatchGoblin

William wasn’t sure how he kept it together.

After Sebastian’s little lip locking stunt, Abigail had stepped back, eyes wide. And then his mom and step dad had come up, giving small cheers, Robin hugging Abigail around the shoulder, Demetrius giving Sebastian ‘atta boy’ slaps on the back.

He wasn’t sure how he’d kept it together.

But he had.

He’d managed, through discipline he didn’t know he’d possessed, to get through the ridiculous dancing festival without punching Sebastian in his stupid, lying, cheating face.

The Kiss. The freaking Kiss.

William had thought the flirting was a petty game.

He’d been wrong. It had been a pin less grenade that they’d been tossing back and forth between them.

And Sebastian had dropped it.

Elliott had been a decent guy through the whole affair, whispering steps to him as he marched through the dance in a rage haze.

Sebastian’d actually gone there. He’d actually fucking done it.

And William wasn’t going to give him any fucking slack on this.

The music stopped. The dancing ended. The people separated and he waited, waving Elliott on.

“I don’t live far, man,” Elliott had said. “Come see me at my beach sometime.”

“Thanks.” William said.

Then he turned towards the trio. Abigail was giggling at something, probably still thinking that the game was on. Sam hung back, not daring to meet his eyes. Sebastian had his arms crossed, that stupid lock of hair over his stupid face. William knew his face was stormy. He knew his body language was too aggressive. But Sebastian only had himself to blame for this and it was time to pay the damn piper.

He approached them and Abigail, the stupid bitch, stood right between them.

“Hey now,” she said, as if she had a fucking say in what was about to go down, “you started this.”

“Abigail. Move.”

Sebastian was standing next to Sam, his body language petulant. William opened and closed his fists then looked back down at the girl. “Final warning.”

Sam stepped up and took a hold of Abigail’s elbow, pulling her out of the way.

“You’ve done enough Abby,” he muttered, his face just as cold as William’s chest felt. Interesting.

“You think just because you come over here and growl at me that I’m just going to—”

William didn’t waste words and grabbed him by the elbow and turned his arm, causing the man to yelp. William didn’t bother easing his grip. He wasn’t hurting him the way he wanted to and the pain would ease as soon as his grip did. He shoved him forward and walked him deeper into the woods, farther away from everyone else, far away from eyes and ears that Sebastian cared so much about.

“Let me go, Will,” Sebastian hissed as William marched them into deeper shadows. “Hey! I said, Stop!”

William ignored him, the rage monster in his chest tearing at his heart as his traitorous brain replayed the way Abigail’s cheeks had flushed.

William shoved Sebastian onto a tree stump and glared down at him.

“You know what? You’re an asshole.”

“I’m an asshole!? You’re the asshole!”

William crossed his arms and kept his eyes on Sebastian’s face.

“Explain that logic to me, you cheating bitch.”

Sebastian surged to his feet and shoved William back. “Pot versus fucking kettle! You were making god damned googly eyes with Elliott! What was I supposed to do!?”

“How about NOT kiss someone else!”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Oh please. It didn’t mean anything. And the whole pay back was Abby’s idea anyway.”

William narrowed his eyes and grabbed Sebastian up by the lapels of his blue suit.

“Abby’s idea huh?”

Sebastian’s nostrils flared, “You started this! What’s wrong, big shot? Don’t know how to take some of your own medicine back?”

William loomed over him, then leaned forward. “Did you like it?”

“What kind of stupid question is that?”

William had Sebastian pinned against a tree now, his back pressed into the bark. “Answer it, Sebastian.”

“Of course I didn’t like it!” Sebastian shouted back.

“Well you’re still a dick for doing it!” William yelled back.

“You’re hurting me,” Sebastian said, gritting his teeth.

William dropped his hands, disgust on his face.

“None of this would have happened if you’d just agreed to go to the dance with me in the first place.”

“You said you understood!”

William threw his hands up. “Okay! So I lied! I don’t understand! And for fuck’s sake Sebastian, you let that girl hang all over you!”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as his eyes narrowed to slits. “It’s a fucking Dance, William, I had to dance with someone.”

William crossed his arms.

“Well shit, Sebastian, do you think I’ll just wait around until you get done playing Straight and Narrow with Abby?”

“Why did it have to be Elliott!? Why couldn’t you have asked… I dunno, Penny! Or Hailey! Or even Emily from the bar! You know her.”

“Because,” William said, “I don’t play around with women. I don’t pretend to be something I’m fucking not.”

“You let him touch your face!” Sebastian spit back. “Play with your goddamned beard!”

William closed the distance between them but Sebastian didn’t back down, letting him meet him, chest to chest.

“That bother you?”

“Yes, it fucking bothered me.”

William reached up and slipped his fingers into Sebastian’s hair, making a fist in the locks.

“Next time I do something that pisses you off,” he growled, “you don’t solve it by kissing another fucking person in front of me, goddamn it.” And then he took possession of Sebastian’s mouth, forcing his head still, shoving his tongue inside. It wasn’t like any of their other kisses- tender and eager. It was a punishment. Sebastian sagged against him and gripped onto the lapels of his uniform. He made hungry, mewing sounds as William kissed him, gripping him tight and contained. William’s other hand caught him by the throat, his thumb on Sebastian’s jaw, holding him still. Sebastian melted into him, his fingers tight on his shoulders.

“I hate the fucking effect you have on my goddamned sanity,” William hissed when he pulled away for air. “This shit ain’t right, Bastian.” They were forehead to forehead, air mingling between them.

“Yeah? Well why the hell does everyone in town know you’re gay, huh?” Sebastian grumbled back. “You’ve been here less than a month and Jodi set you up with Elliott?”

The snippy whine in Sebastian’s voice killed what was left of William’s anger, lust, and fury. It was replace with exhaustion. He let go of his hair and rested his hand flat, cradling his head.

“Damn it, Bastian,” he whispered, “I know that your privacy and shit is important to you but would you for once in your life stop being a self-centered prick all the time.”

“Self-centered?! It’s an honest question.”

“No,” William corrected, “It is a fucking self-conscious one. I don’t expect you to live your life like me, man. If you want to be afraid and hide, fine. But I’m not going to be joining in with that.”

Sebastian pounded both his fists on William’s chest, his frustration clear.

“You are out in public for less than a day and you’ve already found someone to replace me.”

William felt his eyebrow hit his hairline. He tightened his grip on Sebastian’s hair and jerked his face up to look at him.

“Do you even hear yourself?”

“You just said it!” Sebastian said, eyes squeezed tight. “I’m a self-centered prick. I hurt everyone who hangs out with me too long. I have fucked things up with Sam, fucked things up with Abby…lied to my Mom. And now? You already have someone ready to replace me with.”

William sighed and let go of him. Sebastian sagged against the tree, looking away, his eyes red but cheeks dry. He was refusing to cry and William hated him for it.

“You are a grade-A, stupid, sonofabitch.” William pulled his hat off and hung it on a tree peg. “How the hell did we get to the point where you fucking kiss someone else,” he reached up and pulled Sebastian against his chest, “And I’m comforting your dumbass.”

Sebastian was stiff against him but William didn’t care. The guy was a mess too. He’d made him that crazy? Then he definitely cared about what was between them more than he was letting on.

“I thought you were dragging me out here to punch out my face,” Sebastian admitted against his chest.

William sighed and tightened his grip. “Yeah, well, if you want the truth, so did I.”

They were quiet, the forest around them singing and chirping. Sebastian relaxed a small modicum and William finally pulled back.

“So,” he said, letting him go and sitting on the stump. “Decision time.”

Sebastian absently dug through his pockets but didn’t find what he was looking for and sighed. He crossed his arms and tapped his fingers against his elbow. “Okay.”

William folded his hands, as if in prayer and lightly chopped them slowly up and down.

“We are not doing that bullshit again. No more jealousy high school nonsense.” He looked him in the face. “I want to be with you.”

Sebastian swallowed, looking sick. The hits just kept coming. William didn’t let his gaze waver, pinning him place with the sincerity of his emotions. Finally Sebastian spoke, his voice almost too soft to understand.

“Did you see what they did?”

William frowned.

“What _who_ did?”

“My family,” He hugged himself, “they were excited. My mom. She got…excited. And. Demetrius…he clapped me on the back. He’s never done that before.” Sebastian looked up at him with lost eyes. “And when they find out that I lied to them…I’ll lose it all over again.”

William felt something within his chest shatter.

Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut. “Can’t you just put up with it?” he begged, “For a little longer until---”

“It’s over, Sebastian.”

Sebastian shook his head. “William, listen, this won’t-”

William turned away, his chest aching with pain. “Won’t what, Sebastian? Won’t be long? Won’t be for real?” He turned and pulled his hat the branch. “I’m done.”

Sebastian scrambled and grabbed him by the jacket, “No, no, no…just, just listen. It’s a good idea. You just—”

William glared at him, “Just have to be your dirty little secret?”

Sebastian swallowed, looking sick. “I don’t want to lose you. I also don’t want to lose them. Can’t you see what an impossible situation you’re putting me in!?”

William rubbed the bridge of his nose. “There you go with that ‘me’ again.”

“What do you want me to say? That I’ll just change everything about myself because if I don’t, you’ll find someone else?”

“Glass fucking houses, Mr. Loose Lips.”

“It was FAKE!”

“Why the fuck is it not okay for me to ‘fake’ flirt but it’s okay for you to kiss Abigail, huh? No, Sebastian. I’m not doing this. I’m not playing these fucking games with you. I’m not going to let you come shatter me one day and then treat me like trash the next.”

Sebastian hugged himself. Softly he whispered, “Don’t do this William. Don’t give up. We can get through this!”

William hesitated. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to tell Sebastian to fuck off. He felt possessive and angry. He felt violent. He felt broken. He blew out a breath and shoved his hands into his dress pants pockets. But he was done. Better pain now than worse pain later. Still, he was weak, weak to Sebastian’s face and body language.

Only 24 hours ago they’d been wrapped up together, safe and whole. He stepped forward and leaned down, cupping Sebastian’s face and pressing a kiss there. One last kiss to remind himself that they hadn’t always been a fucking mess. He felt the tears now, but didn’t stop, didn’t stop until he’d branded Sebastian’s lips onto his heart for the last time, an invisible tattoo burning just for him.

He finally pulled back, forehead against Sebastian’s.

“I’m sorry. Good-bye Sebastian.”

He turned and walked away, not daring to look back.

*

Sebastian wasn’t sure how long he stood there in the woods. Maybe only 10 minutes. Maybe an hour. His suit was sweltering hot in the spring humidity. He wanted to take it off. To burn it. He rubbed at his face and felt tears. Damn it.

He’d fucking begged.

And it hadn’t mattered.

A fresh wave of pain ran through him but he swallowed it down.

Instead of focusing on how hurt he was. Instead of focusing on how bad he’d fucked up everything, he only concentrated on walking back towards his friends. Sam and Abigail could help him get home. Sam and Abigail…he heard voices. He froze, listening.

“—He did it of his own volition, Sam! I said we were playing a game. I didn’t tell him to kiss me.”

“Yeah, but you should have fucking stayed out of it Abby.”

“Well you know what? I’m glad it happened! I’m fucking glad because now I have a chance again.”

Sebastian swallowed down the bile in his throat. It was Abigail and Sam. He closed his eyes tightly. They were fighting over him.

“You are delusional. He’s gay, Abigail. You’re not a guy. You’re just going to get hurt again.”

“He kissed me, Sam! Gay men don’t kiss women. Maybe it’s finally special between us, you know!”

“Abby,” Sam’s tone was gentle, “he was using you. It was never for you. It was for William.”

“Damn it Sam, can’t you just be on my side here?”

“Abby, I am ALWAYS on your side.”

Sebastian turned his head to the side. They were standing closer than he thought, through shoes ruffling the grass.

“But you know the truth now. He’s not wired to like women. He’s not going to be able to reciprocate what you want to give.”

“You don’t-”

“Abby! Stop burning yourself on him! Give up on Sebastian and maybe you could find someone who likes you for who you are!”

“Sam, I love him.”

Sebastian closed his eyes at the confession. Fuck. He’d fucked up. He’d fucked up so badly.

“Abigail,” Sam’s voice was soft, “Don’t say that.”

He swallowed and let out a breath. He couldn’t listen to any more of this. He stepped firmly, moving towards them, making sure to snap twigs under his feet and to let bushes rustle as he passed them. He heard both of the freeze and then he turned a corner to see them.

Sam had untied the bow tie and it hung uneavenly around his neck. Abigail had ditched the white dancing slippers and wore her combat boots under her white dress.

“Seb!” she rushed towards his side. Sebastian watched Sam’s face twist and felt the anger radiating out from him. But he kept his voice even.

“Good to see you. William said we might need to check on you. He uh, didn’t seem too happy.”

Sebastian swallowed. He was a sick bastard but knowing that William was even in a fraction of the pain he was experiencing made him feel a tiny bit better.

“We uh,” the words burned in his throat and he had to swallow before continuing, “broke up.”

Sam closed his eyes, as if these were the worst things he could have said. Abigail surged forth, hugging him. Sebastian shuddered at the touch. Abigail’s body was so very different from William’s. Her form soft and lumpy, her hair smelling like dying flowers and overly sweet things. Gently, Sebastian put his hands on her shoulders and stepped back.

“I’m okay, Abby. I’ll get over it.”

She held onto his arm, her face full of sympathy. “Sebastian, I’m so sorry. I can go talk to him. Tell him the whole thing was-“

He held up a hand.

“No. No, I think…I’m just going to give him some space.”

Sam watched him, fingers tight in his pockets. “Wanna spend the night at my place tonight?”

Abigail frowned at him but Sebastian took the lifeline.

“Yeah man. Yeah, that…that’s what I want to do.”

“Then that’s the plan. C’mon. Let’s get out of these woods before it gets too dark.”

*

William didn’t go straight home.

It was too soon. The light was dying in the valley but he couldn’t handle the loneliness of his house right now. The bar was a fucking bad idea so instead he wandered the woods, eyes peeled from the wild onions he’d been collecting to season the MREs.

It was then that he came upon the Tower.

That fucking Wizard’s Tower.

He hesitated. He was a mental wreck. He was probably too angry or antsy to be able to focus fulling on any damn thing that this wizard had to say. However, he’d promised to go over yesterday and between the storm and the festival he’d let it slip his mind. He let out a breath. Time not to be a chicken shit. And hey, maybe he’d piss the guy off and get turned into something. That was a cheerful thought.

He followed the path up to the big tower and then looked around before knocking. The door creaked open and he swallowed, before walking into the dim room.

The wizard was standing in the middle of the room, looking down at a bubbling cauldron.

“You’re late.”

William closed the door behind him, eyes skimming the amazing room.

“I uh, had something come up.”

“I can see. I sense heartbreak on you, young man.”

William grimaced. He should have pickled his liver instead of putting himself through this sort of questioning.

“Good guess.”

“No matter. The state of your heart has nothing to do with the worthiness of your soul. Here. I have a potion prepared for you that will allow you to take on the task of Champion.”

“Dude,” William said, crossing his arms, “I ain’t no one’s Champion.”

“Oh? So sure of that, William Bauer?”

He hesitated and then caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror that was standing on the side of some big mess of lit candles. He was in full formal uniform, still pretty stiff despite all the activity of the day. His beard was against grooming reg, but other than that, he was in parade dress. He looked like he belonged on one of the Ferngill Republic Recruitment posters that had plastered his high school when he was trying to figure out what to do with his life.

He could almost picture the propaganda font of ‘Be A Champion of Ferngill/Defend her Borders!’ over his head with the Ferngill flag behind him.

“I’m retired.”

The Wizard tossed him a bottle and he reflexively caught it, looking down into a green liquid stoppered with a cork.

“Well then, Mr. Retired, don’t drink that.”

“What is it?”

The wizard smirked. “It will let you communicate with the Juminos that populate the shrine. It will let you read their messages and full-fill their requests.”

He frowned. “Who said I want to.”

“You. When you gave the first offering. Have you planted the seeds that the little creatures gave you yet?”

“No.”

“For a farmer, you sure are lazy.”

William scowled then looked down at the potion. The wizard tilted his head to the side and then in a softer voice said, “I’m divorced. I….made a mistake a few years back and my wife left me. I know a thing or two about heart break.”

William shoved the potion into his pocket.

“Wasn’t anything that serious,” he lied. “If this was all—”

“One more thing. Something that helps me when I’m worked up is to exercise out my anger. If you go north of town, there are some mines. My friend Marlon has been fighting the creatures that live there.”

William frowned. “Fighting? Here? This valley is in the middle of a peace zone.”

The wizard leaned forward on his staff. “You can thank Marlon for that. He has single handedly been keeping those mines clear of anything dangerous for years.”

“I thought you said the Juminos were friendly.”

“The juminos aren’t monsters, you dense bag of potatoes,” the wizard snapped. “Go to the mines and see the danger for yourself. It might give you something to think about other than your bad attitude.”

William rolled his eyes then turned, walking towards the door.

“Thanks for the potion.”

“Hey, one more thing.”

William frowned and turned his head. “Yeah?”

“If you find anything unusual down there, bring it to me.”

William hesitated. Then nodded. “Sure thing.”

“And plant those seeds. You’d be amazed at what the gifts of the Juminos can give.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all. This was a hard-as-fuck chapter to write. As in 9 freaking pages on Word. 0_0  
> Most chapters are 4-6 pages, max. But we had a lot to cover.
> 
> Hang in there with me as I promise I'm going for a HEA.
> 
> I have to work overtime tomorrow so out of kindness to myself, chapter 24 will update on Wednesday September 13, 2017. As always I appreciate your comments, shares and recommendations to friends. This fic wouldn't exist without the support I get from readers. You can find me on Tumbler @dracoangelicawritesfanfiction and on Twitter @WriterHolec.
> 
> <3 Thank you!


	24. Chameleon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> This chapter contains offensive language, potentially upsetting situations involving sexual violence, realistic depictions of bullying and hazing. Please read with caution. There is a mention of suicidal thoughts. If you are experiencing such feelings, please see the end notes for help.

It was dark outside and Sebastian and Sam sat on his bedroom floor in a pile of pillows that they’d confiscated from the rest of the house. Sebastian had pulled Sam’s computer monitor off the desk and they’d propped it up on a chair to be their impromptu TV. Two wireless controllers and an emulator were all they needed to relive the classic Gigaman torture of their childhood.

Abby had gone home hours ago and they’d been sitting in silence, Sam occasionally crunching into a bag of potato chips while Sebastian tried, vainly, to get through the hell that was WindDude’s attack sequence. Megaman died once more on the screen and WindDude’s obnoxious face ‘ho ho ho’d into the screen before Game Over flashed.

Sebastian tossed the video game controller down, before falling back and pulling on his hair.

“I swear to fucking Yoba, if WindDude kills me one more damn time…”

“I dunno, Seb,” Sam said dryly, “Maybe if you keep standing still enough for him to hit you with those bullshit cyclones, you can finish that sentence with something entertaining.”

“Fuck you dude, YOU do it if you’re so fucking smart.”

Sam scooped up the controller, rebooted the game and began an expert run through of Gigaman 2, successfully getting the wood shield and pwning the hell out of WindDude as if he were a level 1 drone instead of one of the hardest bosses in the game. Four minutes and 22 seconds later, Gigaman was dancing a victory shuffle over WindDude’s pixelated corpse.

“Will must have seriously fucked you up,” Sam said, switching onto the next set of screens to go after Gigaman’s oncoming enemies. “It’s not like you to flub GigaMan.”

The name of his, holy shit, Ex-boyfriend, was like a punch to the careful shield he’d erected around his heart.

“I’m pretty sure I’m the fuck up, not Will,” he muttered, rolling away so that he didn’t have to look Sam in the face. Sam didn’t bother trying to get him to focus or look his way. It was something he appreciated about the guy- always steady and understanding.

He closed his eyes and for a moment, was lost in a memory of a time when he wasn’t such an asshole about his life.

I wondered if all gay guys fell in love with their best friend first. It had been two weeks before school started when he got the courage up to tell Sam how he’d felt.

And by tell he meant tried to force a kiss onto his unsuspecting mouth.

Sam had moved into Pelican town when he was in middle school, a bright and cheerful kid who helped him hide the frogs he caught in unsuspecting places. They’d swapped games and comics, gotten detention together and play pranks on anyone who hurt the other. All through the hell that was middle school they’d been inseparable. Sam had even cried in front of Sebastian once, right after his dad had been pulled back on deployment with very little warning. Sebastian had fallen for him then, feeling an uncomfortable obsession eat him daily as they spend more and more time together.

The summer before freshman year, they’d played hard. Swimming every day it was sunny, catching fish and frogs and bugs. They’d run through the mountain paths in the middle of imaginary games and often had stripped down to shorts to dive into whatever water source was closest.

If they weren’t swimming in the spa, they’d take turns jumping out of an old tire swing by the mountain lake that Sam’s dad had put up ages ago before one of his many deployments. It was the lake that they’d been at that day, the day that Sebastian had found his courage.

He could still taste the water from the lake in the back of his mouth, could feel the hard pebbles mixed with the mud under his toes as they’d gotten into a shoving war over something stupid. Probably a name called wrong. Maybe even a bullshit challenge.

Sebastian remembered how Sam’s hair, usually zealously styled into tall waves was flat against his face, his grin infectious. Sebastian couldn’t say where the impulse came from, just that he’d gone with it, oblivious of consequences. He moved forward in that twilight dimness and pressed his mouth against Sam, eyes sliding closed as his heart pounded.

In the movies when two people kissed, it was like a magic spell. Like just by sharing the surface area of lips you could share your minds, your hopes…your heart.

Real life wasn’t a movie. Sam hadn’t kissed him. He’d shoved him back so hard that Sebastian had lost his footing, sucking in a lungful of lake water. He came up, choking only to see Sam staring at him with horror and bewilderment.

“Dude, what the actual fuck?”

The shame hit then. The shame and the fact that he couldn’t fucking breathe through the awful horror of how badly he’d misread everything. He coughed and then threw up lake water, scrambling to shore. When he finally was able to suck air in, to try and explain, Sam had gotten to the shore, troubled and bothered by what had happened.

He’d followed him, an explanation on his lips. Sam just shook his head, holding up a hand.

“Look. I’m not gay. Okay.”

And just like that, Sam had gathered his clothes and left him alone, shivering and small at the edge of the lake, feeling like the world’s biggest stain.

It was a miserable set of weeks. Weeks where they didn’t talk. Weeks of solitude, just him and his computer games, alone in his room.

School started and even though he and Sam rode the same bus to the Stardew Valley high school, a school so small that it took four other towns the size of Pelican Town to have enough students to justify the cost, they didn’t speak. Sebastian couldn’t meet his eyes and Sam seemed to feel the same way.

Sebastian knew then that he didn’t want to be gay.

He didn’t want to be different.

He didn’t want anyone to look at him the way Sam had. He couldn’t handle losing anyone else because of the way he was.

So he decided then and there, on that bus ride to high school that he was going to be the straightest fucking dude he knew.

On the first day Sebastian signed up for the gridball team. He came home and put the flyer defiantly down for his mom and Demetrius to see, only to have Demetrius cheer. It was alarming.

They drove all the way into Zuzu that night and Demetrius kitted him out, helping him pick cleats and pads, buying extra everything, more gridball equipment than he would possibly need. On the way back home, Sebastian remembered they weren’t fighting.

“I didn’t know you liked any of this stuff. You stay in that lab all day.”

“I used to play,” Demetrius had said, fingers tapping on the wheel. “Until I was injured in college. Luckily, there was always biology, right there as a back up to catch me. Still, gridball scholarships were what paid my way. If you can get good, maybe you’ll do the same.”

 For the first time, he and Demetrius got along as he trained, running drills, Demetrius throwing balls for him.

He didn’t talk to Sam.

In the halls, months into the semester, they’d pass. Sam and Abby hanging with the band nerds, eyeing him like he’d grown a new head. He ignored them, following along in his fellow grid ball teammate’s shadows. He and Alex began to carpool to the county games, Robin sitting with Alex’s grandparents while Demetrius blew airhorns and called him, “My Boy.”

But as great as that was…it was a lie.

Sebastian was good at lying to himself. But he didn’t call it lying. He called it pretending.

He pretended that seeing his teammates didn’t get him hard at night.

He pretended that yes, he really did like pouring himself into practice until he puked.

He pretended that he was normal.

And he’d almost made it. He almost had figured it out.

Until one of his teammates found his phone unlocked on the bus.

It had been stupid, he knew. But he’d been bored. He’d been surfing a male model site. Normally, he could hide that sort of thing in the sports magazines that he bought. He could hide it as a male fantasy of getting buff- something he found practically impossible with his own frame.

But this had been his phone and phones were private- he thought.

He wasn’t sure what they’d seen. Maybe it was two men staring into each other’s eyes while touching in a way that was transparent. Maybe he’d looked too long at someone. Maybe someone had seen him trying to hide an erection at practice. He’d never known the exact catalysis to the end of his closeted life.

He knew things were fucked when he opened his locker to see dildos with ‘fag’s breakfast’ written on the side of them.  He couldn’t breathe and slammed the door shut. All around him, the guys around him laughed. All but Alex. Who was a fellow Townie.

Alex had stomped out of the showers to the laughter, taken one look at Sebastian’s face and then grabbed his helmet and slammed it onto the ringleader’s head.

Except the ringleader was a senior and they were 2nd string junior varsity.

The coach had come down on them like the hammer of an angry god and Alex had been suspended for four whole season games. And without Alex to help him out, it was open season on the suspected fag.

During practice, the hits he got were too hard. The coach just shook his head and told him to toughen up. His water got switched for mud. His uniform would find itself in the toilet. Sebastian buckled in, tried to ignore it. They didn’t dare do it outside of the locker room. And after he started hiding a second jersey in his hallway locker, he had a way to fight back.

He wasn’t going to let them win.

But everyone had a breaking point.

His had been when he found his face taped over a woman’s in the midst of getting plowed behind by a gorilla. He’d snapped and called out the ringleader, ready to get suspended if nothing else than to get it to stop.

But they’d been ready, four of the worst guys, waiting until it was just the five of them. He still remembered how the duct tape tasted on his mouth, how his legs had been cold. How much it hurt to get kicked in his most tender spots as he struggled. His wrists had been tied and he’d been taunted. And couldn’t have screamed. All he could do was shake the bench they’d bound him to, scrapping it across the tiles.

“Listen here, you freshie faggot,” the senior had said, holding up one of the skinny grid-field cones. It was short and orange. The cone had a narrow tip about the size of a quarter and a long base about as wide as a coconut. “You like things shoved up your ass? I’m going to make your fucking day.”

He had flailed, panicked at the cone, panicked as his tormentor circled around him. He was going to vomit. He was going to die.

“What will your parents say if they find you like this, hmm?”

That caused another spasm as he tried to pull off the bench. But he was exhausted and terrified. They’d tapped him too hard. He couldn’t breathe well past the gag and he couldn’t just Think.

He felt his tormentor’s hand on his back. Felt his cheeks beginning to separate. He screamed against his gag, but knew, just knew, he was going to die from whatever they were about to do…

Around him in the room the stooges were chanting “QUEER QUEER QUEER!” like it was a pre-game ritual.

Then there was a slam on the lockers and it made everyone jump. He felt the cone drop between his knees and roll off to the floor. He turned his head, eyes wide, to see Sam, standing in the doorway, his nostrils flaring, enraged. He held a huge mallet in one hand and a music stand in the other.

He stared at them, then at the ringleader.

And like a gold kissed hero, charged.

The others left, too alarmed, too terrified of the crazy drummer with his weapons of music turned into weapons of war. He dropped the music stand and threw a punch at one retreating bully then, brandishing his drum mallet and slamming it sporadically into the lockers.

Sebastian shied away from what had happened next. He’d blocked it out. All of it. How Sam had untied him. How he’d sobbed like a pussy about the whole thing. How Sam had called his mom for him and told her that he was spending the night. How he’d just swept it up and taken care of him.

Because if he had to remember his tenderness, it might break him more. Even now with over five years between then and now.

Sam hadn’t judged.

Just helped him get straightened up and got him home.

Sebastian’d resigned from the team the next day, one week before the homecoming game.

He wouldn’t tell his parents why. Couldn’t tell Demetrius. He’d been too ashamed. Ashamed of all of it. Ashamed of who he was and ashamed of being beaten. Ashamed that he hadn’t been strong enough to avoid it and most of all, guilty that he wasn’t normal.

His bullying after that would have probably ended in suicide if it hadn’t been for Abby and Sam taking him in. He went to the coach once who dismissed it and told him he’d been imagining things- been too imaginative. If it hadn’t been for Alex nearly getting expelled for fighting when Sam had told him what the other team members had done, he might have made more than quarterback his senior year. But it had ruined his relationship with the coach; something else Sebastian had to feel guilty for. If Haley hadn’t started a smear campaign that blacklisted the senior quarterback from getting a date for the rest of the year, he might have thought it was just because Alex and Sam knew him. But it was more than that. They were all from Pelican Town. Pelican Town kids stuck together.

But years later…and it was years later, Sebastian never forgot what could happen. He’d never forgotten that vulnerability.

And the deep seated belief that he’d just open himself to that sort of torment again if anyone ever found out his darkest secret.

But Will.

Will wouldn’t have let anything like that happen.

If anyone tried something like that with someone like Will around…he wouldn’t have stopped with a punch. He would straight up murder them. He would have made it safe.

The game let out a chirp that jerked him from his memories.

“It’s like that, see? Right weapon for the right enemy.”

Sebastian opened his eyes, turned and saw that Sam had conquered the game, Gigaman standing in front of the ending credits.

“Sam,” Sebastian said into the quiet of the room. “You’re my best friend.”

Sam shrugged. “Tell me something new, loser.”

Sebastian pushed himself up.

“William broke up with me because I kissed Abby.”

Sam stiffened, obviously not ready to have this conversation. But Sebastian couldn’t stop himself now that he’d opened the gate.

“And I think he’s right. I’m doing it again. Trying to play a straight. And that fucked me up last time too.”

Sam let out a breath then turned off the monitor and faced him.

“I know you just got your heart broken and shit, but I’m low-key furious with your emo-ass.” He said, his tone cold. “And I’m trying really fucking hard right now to be a good bud right now. So. Can we focus on video games and how you suck?”

Sebastian felt that roil of anxiety at Sam’s censure.

“Back in high school…”

Sam rolled his eyes and stood up. “You never have learned when to shut the fuck up, have you?”

Sebastian focused on the floor. “Back in high school, freshmen year, you remember? I joined gridball.”

“I remember.”

“And I was a dickweasel to you.”

Sam scrubbed at his hair. “Dude, I was immature. It was my fault you joined.”

Sebastian stared. “What?”

“If I hadn’t,” he waved a hand, “You know, been a scared kid about things? Had picked up the phone and talked to you? After you know, you kissed me? Maybe you wouldn’t have been on that bench.”

He flinched, the words touching something horrible within him. He swallowed past it.

“I wanted to be normal.”

Sam gave an exasperated sigh. “When are you going to get it through your head, Sebastian. Dude. You ARE normal. You are just fine. There is nothing wrong with liking guys. There is nothing wrong with who you are. Ask Will. He thought you were pretty great when you weren’t skeeving on your best friend’s crush.”

Sebastian covered his face and pulled his knees in. “It’s too late now though. It’s entirely too late. I messed it up. I messed everything up.”

Sam scooted over and wrapped an arm over his shoulder. “Seb. You done fucked up. That’s true. But give him some time. Apologize. Maybe even, I dunno, think about being more honest.”

Sebastian stared down.

“I don’t deserve you, Sam.”

Sam punched his shoulder.

“OW!”

“Yeah fucking right, ow.” Sam said. “Stop it. Stop with the poor me bullshit.”

Sebastian stayed quiet, afraid to misspeak again. Sam sighed and rubbed his hand through his overly gelled spikes.

“I got a challenge for you. If you do it, I’ll forgive you for making the whole town think you and Abby are an item.”

Sebastian raised a brow. “Okay.”

“Tell Maru.”

Sebastian frowned. “Tell Maru what?”

“Tell Maru that you’re gay. Tell at least HER.”

He swallowed. “Demetrius would kill me.”

Sam threw his hands up. “For being honest with your sister?”

“Half-sister.”

“Bullshit man. She’s your little fucking sister, no matter if your dads are different. Tell her. You can trust your sibs to have your back. You tell Maru and I’ll see this as real change. As you taking a fucking step forward. Otherwise, we are uneven on the Abby liplock session.”

Sebastian let out a breath.

“Okay.”

Sam held his gaze, waited, then after a moment, nodded.

“Okay.”

And just like that, they were cool again. Sebastian only hoped that he would be able to fulfill the promise when it came time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I need a shower after doing research for this chapter.  
> If you know of anyone who is being bullied, please reach out to 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Also, the suicide prevention hotline is 1-800-273-8255. According to the suicide prevention lifeline.org, over 80% of LGBTQ+ youth have been assulted or threatened, and ever instance of victimization in a LGBTQ+ person's life is more than doubles the likelihood of self harming. This is a fictional story that no means represents anyone real however as this shit does happen, please be aware that you are not alone.
> 
> In other news, work has been a beast, so I'm giving myself three days until the next update baring any more unexpected overtime. So! Chapter 25 will go up Saturday September 16th, 2017 between 8-10 CST. The best thanks as always is a comment, a kudo and if you liked this, please tell your friends. 
> 
> I love y'all and this story has been the best thing I've done for myself all year. Thank you for reading!


	25. Mine your own Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I FINALLY get to the Mining portion of this story.
> 
> We have creeping and pining and banter. Oh my.

William entered the mines for the first time the day after he’d ended things with Sebastian.

It had been a long walk, especially since he’d avoided Robin’s, and therefore Sebastian’s house, on the way. He stepped into the darkness of the cave that was held open by old supports. Warnings of danger were printed on rusted signs. An old, busted mine cart lay on its side near the entrance, rubble and dust on its wooden frame. A broken lever was sticking out of a mangle gearbox. William passed it on, and squinted into the dimness. Then froze because he wasn’t alone.

Standing in the middle of the large cave was a man with only one eye. He was tall and had the scars that indicated some old fight. He wore an old red commander’s cloak over one shoulder, his thumbs tucked into his belt. He was peering down at some hole in the cave and William could make out the glint of nails. It was a ladder attached to the hole.

“Hmmmmm. That wizard up yonder said I might see you down here today, son. Didn’t expect you so early in the morn’.” His accent was from the northern country, deep from the mountains. William had heard it before on some new recruits that had joined from the high peaks of the Ferngill hills. He associated it with intelligent men who had good and instinctive woodcraft, unlike the city-slickers, like him, who didn’t know his ass from his elbow when he’d first joined up.

“I’m William,” he said, remembered the Wizard’s entire spiel about manners and whatnot. The man nodded at him then looked down at the hole.

“Marlon. Leader of the Adventure’s guild. You wanna come take a looksee down here?”

William looked around then stepped closer towards the dark, yawning hole.

“Used to be a time when this mine was active,” the greyhaired man said, rubbing a silver streaked goatee. “But no more. The mines dried up and with them, the shipping died.

“Shipping?”

“Course. You think we got all those docks up at the coast for our health? You could crank out the ore, then float it down the river to the ocean. But the mines dried up. Nothing left now but a few pockets here and there. Nothing a big company wants to deal with.”

A strange sound echoed up the ladder and it set William’s hair up.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Well,” Marlon said, eyes narrowed, squinting down at the hole, “nature hates a vacuum son. The humans moved out. And other…things…moved in.”

William shivered as there was another faded screech.

“I keep them from making their way out of the front door.”

William narrowed his eyes. “These…things. They dangerous?”

“Dangerous enough. Pests on the higher levels. They get a little more cantankerous the farther down you get.”

William rolled his head on his neck then adjusted his rucksack before reaching for the ladder.

Marlon raised a brow. “What you doing, son?”

“Well.” William said. “Way I figure it, there are some things that need killing. And I haven’t gotten to kill something that needed killing in a long time.”

Marlon stared at him with his good eye before unbuckling something on his chest then passing it over. The lump under his red cloak revealed a long, rust-speckled sword.

“I’d found this in the rubble. Thought I’d go clean it up and resell it. But you look like you could use it if you’re going down there. You manage to kill 10 of the varmints, you come over to my lodge house and come see me.”

William looked down at the sword and weighed it in his hand.

He knew fuck all about sword fighting, but he had some close combat training. Couldn’t be too hard to figure out.

“Thanks Marlon. I’ll come see you by the end of the day.”

Marlon clapped him on the back then turned, leaving him to his task.

William took a breath, and then narrowed his eyes, ready to make whatever creepy crawly that was down in the darkness his bitch.

*

It was near sunset and Sebastian was sitting out on the banks of the lake when he saw Will emerge from the mines near the top of the mountain. Instinctively he slipped behind a tree, his heart pounding. He’d been waiting outside to catch Maru before she got home from the clinic, nervously pacing and smoking a cigarette from his fresh pack that he’d gotten that day at the Joja.

Will was dirty and not wearing his shirt. He had a sword hilt sticking out of his rucksack and was hauling a bag of rocks from the old, abandoned mines. Sebastian wasn’t sure if he should roll his eyes at the ridiculous picture he made or be concerned about the spreading blood on his arm. His missing shirt was wrapped tightly around his bicep, red from blood. Sebastian’s heart pounded in sudden concern and a burst of indecision. The asshole had some nerve to walk around like that after chewing him out for a damned sprained ankle. Didn’t he know a dirty t-shirt was no replacement for a bandage? If he kept up like that it wasn’t going to get infected and—

“Oh my gosh, Farmer Bill!”

Sebastian started at the shout and turned his head. Maru was still wearing her clinic scrubs, her hair pulled back under her cap. She was crossing the meadow and evidently hadn’t noticed him hiding underneath the tree.

“Oh,” Will said, nodding over at his half-sister. “Hey, Nurse.”

“Bill, you’re bleeding! You have to let me get you to Doc Harvey.”

“Nah.” Will kept walking. Sebastian bit his lip. Was he really that pigheaded?

“Are you really that pigheaded?” Maru said, exasperated. “You could get an infection! If it gets too bad, you’ll lose the whole arm.”

“Nurse,” they were passing in front of his tree now, “you seem swell and all, but I’m going home. I’ve got some stuff. I’ll stitch it up. No big deal.”

She huffed out a breath that blew her bangs up and stomped a foot. “Well, you’ve given me no choice.”

“No choice about what?”

“No choice about following you home.”

Sebastian froze.

He was supposed to come out to her today, damn it. HOW in the hell was William screwing up his opportunities AGAIN?

“Suit yourself, nursey.”

He watched helplessly as Maru followed William up the path to his farm, and then, narrowing his eyes, followed at a discreet distance.

Even if Will had broken his heart, he didn’t want him to bleed out. If he lost consciousness from blood loss, the big bastard would be too heavy for Maru to haul to Harvey’s.

He couldn’t hear anything they were saying until he slipped onto William’s property and crouched behind his house. Then frowned. No wonder it got so drafty in there so easily; the walls near the floor were practically paper thin, the heat from the chimney radiating out.

He shifted until he could sit, then started when Ingrid languidly emerged from under the house and climbed into his lap, purring.

He swallowed, his heart racing. Could they hear her? But no. They didn’t seem to hear anything. He leaned against the wall, listening.

“—And you have to sterilize these things first! You can’t just start stitching.”

“Untwist your panties, Maru,” Will said. “It’s all sterile. Second box.” Sebastian strained and heard movement, then scraping, then a lid snapped open.

“Oh my god, William, what did you think you were going to need this for? It’s practically a crash cart.”

“Army motto. Be prepared.”

“I thought the Army motto was, ‘This I will defend.’” Sebastian could hear the bed creak and Maru was snapping on gloves. He adjusted his head and found a crack he could peer into. He could only see feet. William’s bare toes and Maru’s sensible nursing shoes.

“Hard to defend something if you’re not prepared for your enemies, ma’am.”

“This is going to sting,” she said primly as she stepped closer to him.

“No offense, but getting bit by one of those damned bug things stung a lot worse than whatever that--- SHIT lady, what’d you do, dip it in fire first?”

“Hold still you big baby,” she snapped, shoes shuffling.

“Not if you’re going to freaking take off my arm with whatever that shit was.”

“It’s alcohol, you infantile pansy. Now be still or I’m marching you to Doc Harvey and letting HIM do this.”

William grumbled and Sebastian could imagine his face, grumpy and frowning as Maru tended him with a no-nonsense, no-bullshit demeanor.

“Are all nurses so mean?”

“I’m not a nurse,” she said. “And this is going to need stitches.”

“I can do it.”

“You are crazy. This room? Not sterile.”

“Sterile is for weaklings.”

“Sterile is for people who don’t want their limbs rotting off because they took toxic masculinity to the Darwin level of stupid.”

Silence. Then, “What if you did it?”

“I don’t stitch people! I told you, I’m not a nurse. Doc Harvey is going to have to do the surgery.”

William groaned. “Then for the love of god, just stick a bandage on it and wrap it up and I’ll deal with it later.”

“Bill—”

“Maruuuuu,” he drug out the last syllable of her name as if to mock her. “Patient is non-compliant, capisce? I’m not going to see Doc Harvey over this wimpy little scratch. And no one asked you to come over here and OW, FUCK! _That was on purpose_!”

“If you only needed a bandage, that wouldn’t have hurt. C’mon, Bill, it’s deep.”

“No.”

“Ugh. Fine. You’re impossible.”

“It’s my middle name, sweetheart,” he grumbled.

“Now. What the heck stung you? I’ve never seen a bug that could do that before.”

Sebastian winced as Ingrid dug her claws into his leg and bit back a noise that might alert them that he was there. He almost missed what Will said next.

“It was in the caves. Turns out the things that go bump live down there.”

Sebastian’s heart hammered, eyes wide. William had gone into the mines? Not just wandered around the first floor the way any sane person would.

“Inside the mines? And there was a monster bug?”

“Yes ma’am. Big as my arm.”

“Sounds like you need to be more careful, Farmer Bill.”

“You can wrap it tighter.”

“You don’t need to lose circulation.”

“Eh. I can take it.”

Maru snorted and Sebastian felt similarly inclined.

“You really are the macho meathead that Haley said you were.”

“That’s not very nice, Nurse Maru. You keep talking like that and my poor feelings are gonna get all hurt.”

“Oh please. If you had feelings you’d have gone to Doc Harvey. But not you, Bill. You’re all testosterone. There. That should hold up. When it inevitably starts to swell up and hurt, just come by the clinic and we’ll try and save your arm.”

“And get more of your tender mercies? Why, thank you for the invite, but I think I’ll pass.”

Maru started bustling around and Sebastian shifted, starting to wonder how he was going to manage to get off Will’s property without either of them seeing him.

“Listen,” Will said, “you’re Sebastian’s little sister, yeah?”

“Half-sister,” she said absently. “Same mom, different dads.”

“A sibling is a sibling,” Will said, “doesn’t matter how they got that way.”

She gave a soft chuckle. “You think so, huh? Well. Yeah then. Sebastian’s my big brother. What of it.”

“How’s he been doing? You know. Over the past few days?”

Sebastian’s heart began to do a double time rhythm. Will was asking about him? Why would he care? He’d been the one to call it off. He froze in stroking Ingrid, listening even harder for Maru’s answer.

“Seb? Fine I guess. He’s been spending all his time with his new girlfriend now. Mom is over the moon.”

Silence. Sebastian wished he could see Will’s face. Wished he knew what he was thinking.

“It’s real important to your parents that he have a girlfriend, huh?”

Sebastian didn’t think that Maru picked up on the bitterness in William’s voice, but it cut him like a knife. He looked down at Ingrid and felt immediately guilty. He shook his head. He’d have a better chance of getting out of here unseen if he left now. He carefully moved the ginger cat, who gave a trill of annoyance before stalking off to go somewhere else and began to slip his way out.

He’d meet Maru on the way home.

And maybe then he’d have the courage to say what he’d been trying to figure out how to say all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> Thank you for all the feed back and support!
> 
> Next update is scheduled for Wednesday September 20, 2017 8-10 CST


	26. Can of Worms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear of trying causes paralysis. Trying causes only trembling and sweating. - Mason Cooley

“Sebastian is sort of a loner,” Maru said as she packed up his medical kit.

William liked the girl, despite the hard time he was giving her.

“Seeing that he’s got someone makes us all happy,” she continued.

He stood up and began to dig for a shirt. His other one was ruined. Not even Jodi was going to be able to get out that blood stain. The action also succeeded in hiding the glare he felt coming on when he remembered Sebastian’s arm around Abigail. Whoops. He’d ripped it. He tossed it to the side for a fresh attempt at clothing.

“Fair enough. I’m sure it’s not a surprise,” he said, keeping his voice impressively even. He should get a gold star.

Maru’s eyebrows knit, her face twisting in thought. “Actually, I was surprised.”

William stilled. “You were?”

She shrugged. “Honestly? I didn’t think Sebastian liked Abigail that way.”

Perceptive Maru.

“From what I heard, they’re always hanging out,” he said, pulling a clean shirt on.

“Well,” Maru said, her tone practical, “Sebastian also hangs out with Sam all the time but that doesn’t mean they’re dating.”

An un-easy thought crossed his mind. Did Sebastian want to date Sam? He shuttered that poisonous thought away for later.

“Right.” He opened his rucksack and began digging through it.

He’d gotten quite a few ores and even found some shattered diamond bits from a particularly tricky set of ore. As much as he’d been blustering around Maru about how fit and fine he was, the truth was that he was sore everywhere and had the bone deep weariness that usually set into place after a long session of PT.

“You’d better stay out of the mines for a couple of days,” Maru advised as she shoved his medical kit back under the table that he’d stored it in. “At least until you heal up.” She frowned. “But they are really dangerous.

“Here,” he said, spreading some of the diamond chips out onto a fresh scrap of handkerchief that he’d pulled from the clothing bin. “You helped me out, even though I was a grouch.”

Maru’s eyebrows shot up.

“Bill, are those diamonds?”

He shrugged. “Nothing too pretty. Just some chips from the mines.”

She reached over and collected the handkerchief, eyes shining. “I’ve been looking for some JUST this size for my newest robot! I saw a video of a guy building something and thought, ‘if only I had diamonds on the bit of my drill.’ Thanks!”

He shrugged and immediately regret moving his arm.

She frowned critically at him. “I’m coming to check on you tomorrow, okay?”

He waved her off and sank onto his bed.

“Don’t waste your time. I’m exhausted.”

Maru shook her head and then opened the door, only to squeak in surprise.

“Mayor Lewis!”

William took a deep breath. Great. No rest for the wicked.

“Why, Miss Maru,” Lewis said from the door. William stood up, standing behind her at the doorway and immediately grateful that he’d put on a shirt. The last thing he needed was Sebastian getting some half-baked rumor that he was banging his sister. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Maru opened her mouth, probably to spill the whole story out. William put a restraining hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. She looked up, surprised, but William shook his head in a small negative gesture.

“She helped me out with a small farming accident,” he said, shifting his grip on her shoulder to a friendly pat. “But she was heading home.”

Maru raised an eyebrow then nodded, shifting the handkerchief full of diamond bits into her pocket. “Right! Yup. That’s what happened. See you tomorrow Bill. Keep that cut clean.”

“Like a whistle.”

Lewis and William watched her depart, heading north on the mountain path back towards her home. William looked at Lewis who had his thumbs hooked into his suspenders. Lewis waited until Maru was out of sight before nodding his head around the farm.

“You’ve been working hard on the land here, boy.”

William leaned his good shoulder into the doorjamb but didn’t bother inviting the mayor in. For one thing, he hadn’t disposed of all the bloody gauze and things from his injury. For another, this visit seemed a bit too intentional.

“I had a package come in and it wouldn’t fit in the mailbox,” he said easily, handing him a box. William took the box and looked down. It was addressed from his parents.

“You could have just left a note to pick it up, Lewis, no need to traipse all the way out here. Thanks.”

Lewis shrugged, looking around with interest. “You know, I thought you and Mr. Elliott were getting cozy the other day. Is it true that you’re…” He slowed as if he wasn’t quite sure how to end the statement.

“Gay? Yes. I’m a gay man, Lewis.”

Lewis coughed, flushing from William’s direct look. William was too tired to care that he’d made the old man uncomfortable. His arm ached and he planned on having it stitched closed and tight before Maru could stick her nose in his business the next day.

“Well, there is nothing wrong with that,” Lewis said, after a moment of digestion. “And that Elliott is a good looking guy, as guys go. Not that I look at guys. I like women.”

William rolled his eyes. Then cleared his throat, reached over and clapped the older man on the shoulder.

“Good talk, Lewis.” Lewis stumbled at the weight. Will continued and pointed at the spot that he’d picked out for his brewing system.

“You should come by when I get the kegs installed. Pops left a few good ale recipes that we could try.”

Beer was the universal common ground among men and this subtle shift was enough to get Lewis to get on with his purpose and move the heck off of William’s porch.

“Sounds like a wonderful idea my boy! I’ll come over and have a pint with you sometime. We can toast your grandpa, may he rest in peace.”

“Amen,” William murmured.

And with that, Lewis waved and left. Ingrid chose that moment to saunter through the door, a dead mouse hanging from her mouth. William rolled his eyes but didn’t bother trying to stop her. He’d dispose of the ‘gift’ with his dirty wound dressings.

He put the package down and opened it up. Sure enough it was a letter from his mom and dad, and to his surprise, a cheap pre-paid cell phone. Well if that wasn’t a hint to call home, he didn’t know what was.

He sat in his chair and opened the letter.

“Dear Son,” his mom’s beautiful copperplate handwriting began, “it’s been weeks and your father and I wondered what could have taken you so long to write! Then we decided it would be easier for you to call. We’ve heard of some news and we were afraid it might trouble you if you heard it from the wrong person. Please feel free to use the included cell phone.”

William sighed. He hoped the device came with some charge as he still didn’t have electricity for his cabin.

He had a sneaking suspicion that her ‘upsetting news’ had everything to do with the letter he’d received from Cameron. He read on.

“Please let us know when we can come visit you! We both love you and want you to have a good life. It’s been hard not being able to visit when the whim hits. I’m including a small gift. I know you’ve been working so hard. We love you, William. – Mom and Dad.”

He bit his lip, the cellphone a small bomb, waiting to go off. He stared at it and its clamshell package. The damn thing was Pandora’s Box and he wasn’t sure he was ready for whatever fresh hell Cameron was about to bring into his life.

He let out a breath and then pulled out his pocket knife. After all, putting it off would just make it worse.

*

If Sebastian could put off dealing with coming out to Maru one more day, he figured he would. But after Sam had been so insistent, he didn’t see how he had a choice.

So he waited.

Just as he was beginning to wonder if Maru would ever come down the path when she emerged, looking as though she’d just had a fight and lost. Man, did he empathize with that. Classic Will-struck moment.

“Hey,” he said, stepping up to wave at her. She nearly jumped out of her skin and clapped a hand against her chest.

“Oh my goodness, Sebastian! Warn a person next time.”

He rubbed his neck. “Sorry. I…uh... wasn’t expecting to see you.” Which was a lie since he’d just stalked her for the last 2 hours.

She hesitated then shrugged, falling into step beside him. “Well, I was over at Farmer Bill’s place. He’d had an accident in the Mines and needed an extra pair of hands.”

Sebastian nodded, sweat gathering on his palms. He let out the breath and began to try and find the words that he’d spent the whole day gathering up. He was tempted to ask about Will. Tempted to ask what he’d asked. But he couldn’t figure out a way to bring it up without revealing that he’d been listening. He rubbed his hands on his jeans as they walked and compulsively swallowed.

“Maru, listen, there is something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Sure,” she said, her head tilted in interest as they made their way towards home.

“I…” he looked over at her and could see himself in her eyes. Taller than her, sharper features. His skin paler, his bones more narrow. He could see their differences in the way she was relaxed and he was tense. And nauseated.

Maru waited as the words died in his throat.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

He bit his lip.

Sam had been clear. He had to at least _try_ to tell Maru. He had to at least begin the process of trying to be more honest. Maru was his sister. She would probably not be disgusted with him. Probably.

“If I…what I want to talk to you about, it’s sensitive okay.”

She slowed and cocked her head to the side. “Okay, Seb. What’s wrong?”

He closed his fingers around of his pack of smokes, dying to have another cigarette but knowing that Maru would get mad. He let out a breath. No need to make this worse.

“I…there is something I haven’t told you. Or…anyone in the family.”

Maru waited and he tried to find the words. His brain flailed around for a lead in. For a link to what he was versus how he’d presented himself.

“It’s about Abigail.”

She waited.

“She and I aren’t exactly…well…it’s complicated.”

Maru chuckled. “You two were making out at the Flower Dance. It doesn’t seem that complicated.”

“I…It wasn’t…I’m not seeing Abigail.”

She cocked her head.

“Did something happen?”

He grimaced because this wasn’t coming out right.

“You could say that.”

Maru slowed and stopped against the last tree from their house.

“What are you TRYING to say?”

He bit his lip, looked at their house, then looked back at the path that led to William’s farm. “I-I’m trying to say that I don’t really like Abigail. And that I actually…well, it’s like…I…” the words faltered and he could feel tears burning behind his eyes. It was just Maru. This should be easy. Just say the words, he urged himself. Just say, _I’m gay._

He inhaled, looked her in the face, opened his mouth--

“There you two are!”

Sebastian stiffened and he and Maru turned their heads just in time to see Abigail running towards them, waving. He looked at the sky and wondered, WHEN exactly the universe had decided to point and laugh at him. His words, already slipping out of his fingers like beach sand, just completely dissolved. He shoved his fists into his hoodie and slouched as Abigail approached. He scowled when she threw her arms around his elbow, grinning up at him.

“So!” she said brightly, as if they were a couple, which she knew good and well that they weren’t, “Why don’t we go down to the Saloon and play a few rounds in the arcade tonight?

Maru got a small smile then winked at him.

“Heh. Well don’t let me interrupt.”

Sebastian gave her a bugged-eyed look, as if asking for help, but she laughed. Then leaned forward, her voice so low only he could hear it.

“Don’t worry big brother. Your secret is safe with me.”

“What secret?” he hissed back.

“That you’re in love.” She said, too soft for Abigail to hear. “Lips are sealed.”

He felt as though his head would explode.

Abigail cocked her head curiously, clearly not catching Maru’s whisper. He felt as though his soul left his body and drifted off into the hateful sun.

“Later, lovebirds,” Maru said. She walked on as Sebastian stayed frozen to the spot, ice hard in his stomach.

As soon as she was gone, he jerked his arm out of Abigail’s fingers. She looked startled. He even went as far as to shove her backwards by the shoulder.

“What the hell is wrong with you!?”

“Hey,” she snapped, though he hadn’t had real force in the shove, “Careful!”

Sebastian clawed his scalp, pulling his hair.

“Abigail, WHY did you just do that!?”

She frowned, crossing her arms. He could see that she had her flute strapped to her back in its narrow case. “You’re welcome.”

He groaned. “I’m _not_ thanking you! Why did you just do that!? I was…” the words died again. Every time he tried to express what he was trying to do, his throat closed up.

“What? You looked uncomfortable. I thought I was helping!” She waved a hand back, “You know, giving you an out.”

“Well, you weren’t. We need to stop this whole fake relationship thing. It’s just causing a mess.”

Abigail rolled her eyes. “Sebastian, c’mon. You are the one who doesn’t want your family to know. This way you can get them off your back.”

He glared.

“You mean this way, you can get me all to yourself?”

She flushed.

“Wh-what?”

He was so frustrated, so angry at himself, at his circumstances and by extension, HER.

“You think that this little game is some sort of sick opportunity,” he snarled, stepping up. Abigail stared at him, wide-eyed. “That you can just talk me into being bisexual or some shit just because you want more? Well that’s not friendship, Abby.”

She shoved him back, eyes flashing with anger.

“You want to make accusations, Sebastian? How about LYING to me for years!? How about letting me pine over your emo ass for years without one single fucking thought about how much I liked you? Huh!?”

“I never told me to like me!”

“And I never told you to kiss me!”

They glared at each other but just as he was about to walk back home, intending to bury himself in work to try and make some success of this absolute _clusterfuck_ of a day, she snagged his hoodie.

“No! You don’t get to walk away again, Sebastian. You get to listen!”

He froze then turned towards her, eyes dull.

“Fine. Say your piece.”

Abigail was thrumming with emotion and built up anger. She let go of his arm and kept her hands balled into fist at her side.

“I learned drums for you.”

He shook his head, not following what she meant, but Abigail plunged forward, too focused on getting it all out.

“When you and Sam started your band, I learned drums so I could join you. You played keyboard and Sam wanted to play the guitar. I practiced the drums every day for hours.”

He opened his mouth, but she plunged on like racing him.

“I like the rain, JUST like you do. My favorite color? Black. Just like you.” She stepped forward. “I play the same games you play. I like the same horror movies you do.” She put her hands on his hoodie, balling the fabric into her fists as she looked up into his eyes, growing more passionate with every word.

“I hate this town, _just like you do_.” She shook him.

“Sebastian, can’t you see? We would be _good_ together! I can MAKE you happy,” her lip began to tremble and her voice cracked, “all you have to do is let me.”

Sebastian stared at her, the anger bleeding out as she spoke, each word more desperate, more frantic and his heart broke at the pain that he was about inflict. He swallowed then groaned, putting his hands on hers. He ducked his head, hiding behind his bangs.

“Abigail, don’t do this,” he pleaded, “we’re good as friends. Don’t do this with me.”

That made her cry; ugly fat tears running down over an overly red nose.

“Sebastian, please, just…just try! Then no one has to know that you’re gay. You can pretend with me and we can be happy.”

He looked at her and then said softly, “Abigail, you’re a sweet girl. You’re smart and brave. You’re funny and you have a lot going for you. But I can’t love you like you love me. I’m so sorry.”

She sobbed then, leaning her head down. He tightened his grip on her hands, holding her still, feeling like he was going to cry with her.

“The person I want? He’s right.” He shook his head. “If I keep doing this, it’s just going to hurt you worse. It’s hurt him. It’s hurt me…Abigail. I can’t be what you want.”

She swallowed and hiccupped, crying harder now. “You haven’t even tried!”

He barked out a laugh.

Had he not?

Still, he pulled her into his arms, rubbing her back. She cried more, her heart clearly broken. Yet, as she exhaled, he realized…she was starting to calm down.

He’d broken her heart…but she was going to be okay.

“Look,” he said, pulling back when she started to sooth, “Go home, Abby. Take a few days. I’ll give you some space. But this? This is a lie. One I should have fixed a long time ago.”

She wiped her face, eyeliner streaking as she sniffed.

“I feel stupid,” she admitted.

“You’re not stupid,” Sebastian said, feeling wrung out. “You’re brave. You say what you mean and you’re never a dirty liar like I am.”

She opened her mouth but he waved a hand. “Don’t argue. It’s my fault. I’m sorry. I…after what happened in high school, I was terrified to tell anyone anything. I was so afraid.”

She cocked her head. “Right. I guess that makes sense. You know, you never told me exactly what made you quit the Gridball team. No one would talk about it. Just one day you were a weird jock and the next day, you were yourself again.”

He coughed. Now that can of worms was too full to open up.

“Some other time,” he muttered, meaning, Never Ever.

She looked down and nodded.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Sebastian said, and then he turned. “Now excuse me while I go and ruin my life.”

She hesitated. “You want me to go with you?”

He shook his head and waved. “I’ll call you and Sam later. We’ll talk. In fact, maybe go over to his place for a bit.”

She brightened. “Yeah, that would be nice. Sam is always really nice.”

He didn’t wait, his body keyed up, his mind focused.

It was time to take the plunge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all have no idea how happy I am to move past some of the angst in this story. 
> 
> Okay. I think for now, the Wednesday/Saturday update schedule is what is working, so I'm going to stick to it.
> 
> Next chapter goes up on Saturday September 23, 2017 8-10CST unless the Rabbit of Caerbannog comes and eats my face.
> 
> As always, blanket warning that these chapters are UnBeta'd because I write faster than is humanly possible for any beta with a life to keep up with me. I am going back as I have time and smoothing out previous chapters, so as always, thank you for your love and support as I commit this hot mess to internet page. Your comments give me life and make the writing process so worth it. Y'all are my favorite part of this experience. (because tbh William is giving me heartburn and Sebastian has doubled my kleenix bill this month for real)


	27. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _You've got to express yourself in life, and it's better out than in. What you reveal, you heal._ - Chris Martin
> 
> _Words, like nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within._ - Alfred Lord Tennyson

“William,” his mom’s voice was tinny on the cheap phone, “It’s so good to hear your voice!”

He smiled, and leaned back on his bed, sinking into his mom’s soft words like a soft hug.

“Hold on, you’re dad’s getting on the other handset,” he heard shuffling around and for a moment had a flashback to when he’d call home from the front lines.

“William?” His dad sounded breathless, like he’d run to their second phone and William grinned.

“Hey Dad.”

“How is the farm? Are you eating enough?” His mom sounded strained, and William recognized the stalling tactic for what it was.

“Yup. So, I don’t have electricity hooked up yet and it’ll be a few weeks before that gets installed. What was the big news?”

He could hear bed springs, which meant one of his parents was sitting down. He braced himself.

“Well,” his dad said, as his mom had fallen silent, “it was about Manuel.”

The name brought the man’s face to mind. He’d been a mutual friend back when he and Cameron were dating. He’d gotten them a rather nice engagement present before all the shit had gone down.

“What? He’s getting married or something?”

More silence and he guessed again.

“He have a baby?”

The silence stretched and he heard his mother let out a breath, a brush of air over the phone that broke into static.

“He died, William,” his dad said softly.

William lost his air and was suddenly glad that he was laying down.

“Wh-what?”

His mom’s weird breathing suddenly made sense. She was crying.

“Ma,” he said, his voice gentle. “Ma, its okay, don’t cry.”

“Manuel was your age, William,” his mom croaked. William sat up and winced as he jarred his injured arm.

“I know. I know Ma. But don’t cry. Shhhh…”

He heard his dad’s movements and in his mind’s eye he pictured his parents, silvery hair, bent and creaking joints, sitting on his mom’s ridiculously flowery couch, his dad with his arm around her tiny little form. His dad’s meaty hands overly large on her delicate shoulders and he ‘there-there’d’ and awkwardly tried to pat her soothingly.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” his mom said between little gasping sobs, “it was just such a shock. He was so young.”

“Cameron came by and told us about it. He was trying to get in touch with you,” his dad said. He heard his mom turn off her handset and he sighed.

“I wish he hadn’t gotten you guys involved,” he said.

“Well, we knew Manny’s parents, William. When you boys were deployed, we talked. That creates a bond.”

“Right,” he said, “well, did he leave a number to contact him? I should probably drop him a line.”

“He planned the funeral. It was last week. I’m sure he’d be happy to hear from you.”

“Maybe,” William said, frowning down at his injured arm, “it’s been a while.”

“He’s got a new fellow now,” his dad said. Though, he didn’t sound like he approved.

“Good for him,” William said dryly. He heard the line shuffle and his mom was back on.

“William, I know things went wrong between you too—”

“That’s one way to put it,” he said, “Ma, he threw me out. He threw my stuff out of a third story window. He wrote ‘Dirty Lying Scumbag’ on the trash bags that he put my stuff in.”

“You weren’t exactly innocent, William,” his dad snapped.

William rubbed the back of his neck, both from shame and irritation.

“Boys,” his mom cut in.

“What?” he and his dad said at the same time.

“Don’t fight,” she said, her voice soft. “Just. Call Cam. And tell him to come over whenever he wants. I still make those pinwheels he likes.”

“Ma,” he snapped, “we broke up two years ago. Can you please stop making him baked goods?”

“Cameron was a great comfort to your mother,” his dad bristled back. “And he’s going through a hard time right now. You can’t dictate our friends.”

He groaned. It sucked when your parents decided they wanted to keep your ex when you’d rather they just stop talking to him. Still. He’d been a shit. And Cameron was, as always, perfect.

“Fine. I was going to call him anyway,” he said.

“Good. He’s a good man,” his mom sniffed, the unspoken, _and you were an idiot_ tacitly understood. What else was new?

“You going to be okay?” His dad asked.

William scrubbed his face and then said, “Yeah dad. It sucks. But yeah. I’m level.”

“We want to come visit you,” his mom said, her voice back under control.

“You should. Maybe in a few months I’ll have some room for you two to stay and you can see how it’s all looking. Pops left the farm in a bit of a clutter, but I’m getting it straightened out.”

“I bet you’re doing a good job, son,” his dad said. It was Dad for _‘I’m sorry I brought up your ex’_

“It could be better,” he said. That was son for _‘I accept.’_

“We’ll see. Well listen. Don’t wanna kill that battery of yours. You might need it for an emergency.”

“Call us soon, baby,” his mom said and William smiled.

“Love you two,” he whispered, as the he stared at the bare, wooden, floorboards of his house. Ingrid came up from wherever she’d been eating that mouse and rubbed against his ankles.

He hung up and let out a breath. Tears gathered and he rubbed his palm against his cheeks, the wave of homesickness for his mom and dad washing over him. He let out a bark of laugh. He hadn’t evolved that much at all, had he?

*

Sebastian pushed open his front door and smelled roasting vegetables. He swallowed. This was probably a bad night to try and do this. He was going to ruin family dinner night. Sebastian went down to his room and took off his shoes, pulled his hoodie off and hung it up, then hesitated. How was he going to do this? Should he do this? When talking to Abigail, it had seemed so clear. So easy. Necessary and urgent that he just do it. But now? No. He couldn’t. He couldn’t possibly to it yet. He wasn’t ready.

And how was he going to even manage to get out the words? Trying to tell Maru had been damn near impossible. After she’d seen Abigail’s interruption…he shook his head and let out a breath. He was a knot of tension and nerves.

But he’d promised Sam.

He’d just wait until after dinner, he decided. He’d go out and look at her telescope or something. Yeah. That was what he’d do. Private. Just the two of them. If she seemed receptive, he’d work his way up to it. He swallowed and nodded. That was the plan. Slow. Solitary. Subtle.

He paced his room until he heard his mom call for dinner. He went upstairs and sat at his place at the table, counting down until dinner would be over. He endured the meal. It felt like the loudest and most agonizing dinner he’d ever had. Sebastian felt every clink of silverware, every sweep of the napkin across the table, as an electric jolt against his resolve. He couldn’t manage more than monosyllabic responses whenever his family spoke to him, couldn’t follow the conversation. Instead he replayed his plan in his head, trying to find the words again, trying to find exactly how he was going to break this to her.

“Sebastian, you should invite Abby over for dinner next weekend,” his mom said, the first sentence that managed to get through the cloud of anxiety he’d been trapped in.

He pushed his roasted squash over on his plate with his fork. “Can’t.”

Demetrius frowned. “Trouble in paradise already? Goodness, Sebastian, it’s only been one day.”

Of course Demetrius expected him to play the perfect boyfriend. That was just like him. He probably already had some weird graph of what babies would look like. Some list of genetic traits that he could track and map like he did the genetics on his plant projects.

He gripped his fork tighter and then forced a piece of carrot between his lips. Maru shushed them.

“Oh no, I saw them earlier,” she said. “They’re doing fine.”

He put his fork down with more force than he meant to.

“No. Sorry, but,” his throat was coated with mushed carrot and he swallowed past it, “Abby and I aren’t together. We’re not like that.”

Demetrius frowned. “That’s a cruel trick to play on a girl you were kissing yesterday, Seb.”

Robin’s brows knit.

“And rather sudden Sebastian.”

He closed his eyes, his heart pounding. He wanted them to stop looking at him. He should have just agreed with his mom. Should have just told her yes. But it was too late now. Too late to lie because he’d already said that Abby wasn’t coming.

Because he was going to be honest.

Because he was done playing straight-and-narrow.

Because it was time to stop being a self-centered prick.

“I’m gay.”

Silence.

He had his eyes closed and the words were out. Too late to suck them back in. Too late to say ‘whoops.’

“Wha-what did you say?” Maru asked. He peeled his eyes open, entire body tense. He swallowed and couldn’t look at his mom. Couldn’t look at Demetrius so he locked onto her brown eyes and repeated, “I’m gay.”

“You-you are?” His mom sounded shocked. Demetrius was still quiet.

“Yeah mom,” he said, turning and meeting her surprised face, “I am.”

“Sebastian,” Demetrius whispered and he finally screwed up the courage to look at him. His step-father looked flabbergasted, his brows at his hairline, his mouth partly open. “All this time?”

He felt the guilt and the shame building up then, making his face red. His eyes burned and he couldn’t taste what he had eaten. He was shaking.

“Is…is that why you don’t talk about who you’ve been with?” Robin asked, her eyes starting to flood with tears.

He was hit instantly with shame. With guilt. This was going terribly. Why had he told them all? He was only intending on telling Maru. He’d intended to do this one at a time. Not all at once. Mistake. Bad idea. He wished he had kept his hoodie on, but he didn’t have its comforting weight and warmth. He reached up and tried to surreptitiously wipe at his eyes.

“I…guess. Yeah. I guess so.”

Then they were all speaking at once and he felt himself curl in.

“—Why didn’t you—”

“I just can’t believe—”

“—But we all thought—”

He covered his ears, starting to breath harder as they spoke but Demetrius’s voice was loudest.

“QUIET!”

He felt his heartbeat in his ears at the new silence and he looked up, waiting for the blow. Waiting for the rejection.

Waiting for the look that Sam had given him that first time.

Instead, Demetrius looked lost.

“Sebastian, how could you ever think…” his voice was so disappointed, so full of an emotion that Sebastian knew was going to shatter him, “that you couldn’t come to us with this? That it could change how much we love you?”

A sob broke in his throat and he couldn’t help it, he was crying.

Robin darted around the table, and then Maru. He felt their arms around him as Robin whispered, “Oh my baby boy,” over and over. He couldn’t help it, the shock of their acceptance, and the relief at their words made him cry harder.

He found himself in a family huddle, all of them curled close and he couldn’t believe it. He tried to speak, but the roil of anxiety was too much to verbalize.

It took long minutes but finally he managed to croak, “You’re not mad?”

Robin gave out a choked laugh.

“Sebby! No, of course we aren’t mad! Demetrius and I would never be mad about this, honey.”

“And I definitely don’t care,” Maru said, her hands squeezing his shoulders. Sebastian took in a shuddering breath.

“C’mon ladies,” Demetrius said gruffly, “Let’s give him some air. C’mon. To the couch.”

Sebastian felt Demetrius ruffle his hair and then the moved to the couch.

Maru darted out and came back in a few minutes later with a glass of water. She crouched on one side and Robin perched on the other on their couch. He sucked the water down gratefully, his heart pounding as left over adrenaline ran through him.

“Okay,” Demetrius said, sitting in front of him, “Start from the beginning.”

“There ah, there isn’t much of a beginning, Demetrius,” he said, looking down at the water, “I’ve been gay for a while. Since before high school.”

“Are you and Sam…” his mom asked, suddenly remembering all the sleep overs she condoned at her house. He barked out a laugh.

“No. No, uh, Sam’s straight. We’re not like that.”

Maru covered her mouth, “But what about Abigail? Why—it just seems really confusing Sebastian.”

“Are you bisexual?” Demetrius asked.

He shifted and flushed at the intensity in his gaze.  

“No. No, I’m uh…I’m homosexual.”

Robin looked up at the ceiling and then back at him. “Sebby! Why didn’t you just tell us! Oh goodness, the amount of times I tried to set you up with girls. Baby, you must have been so uncomfortable!”

He flushed, so overwhelmed by the outpouring of acceptance, so unprepared for it he shrugged.

“I…thanks guys, I…I didn’t think…I’ve been…It was really hard to come out and tell you that I’m not normal.”

“Nonsense,” Demetrius said, his tone broking no argument, “Homosexuality is found in nature. There is nothing that is abnormal about you, Seb. You and I might not always see eye-to-eye but it’s perfectly natural to feel the way you do.”

He stared at him in shock.

Demetrius frowned, “Sebastian, come on. I know we’ve had our conflicts, but…I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression that your sexuality would change how much we care about you. It’s not a factor, Sebastian.”

“Exactly,” his mom said, kissing his cheek. “And you can always come to us. With anything.”

Maru laid her head on his shoulder, rubbing his back. “I just didn’t know,” she said softly. “I’m really sorry.”

“You guys,” he whispered, shaking his head, “I…I didn’t know how to say it.”

“Well you’ve said it now,” Robin said firmly. “And now you can let that go. We love you. Nothing changes that. I don’t care if you want to settle down with a girl or a boy, just as long as you’re happy.”

Maru shook her head and chuckled, “Goodness, Sebastian. It could have been something REALLY bad, like a tumor or something.”

He coughed and then rubbed his face. Then he couldn’t help it, he started to chuckle.

“You guys are…unexpectedly, the best,” he finally whispered. “Thank you so much.”

 

*

William’s back was bothering him along with his arm and he tried not to think about it as he gathered up the dirty bandages, remains of Ingrid’s snack, and tossed it into the fireplace. Pain was to be endured, not coddled. He grabbed a broom, swept up the mess, then hung a kettle over his growing fire, telling himself it was the smoke that was making his eyes smart and definitely was not the aches.

He pulled out the suture kit and began unwrapping Maru’s handy-work just as footsteps creaked on his porch. Seconds later there was hard and rapid knocking.

He groaned.

Hadn’t he had enough today?

He looked down at the sutures in their plastic and sterile package and then stomped to the door, throwing it open.

“What?” he barked.

Abigail’s face melted from determined to alarmed; he knew he looked bloody, tired, dirty, and his hair was sticking in several directions. Too bad for her. She was trespassing.

“Apparently this isn’t a good time,” she stammered.

As she was the second to last person he wanted on his doorstep at O’dark-thirty, he agreed.

“Goddamn it Abigail, what are you doing here so late at night?”

She tilted her chin up.

“I came to talk to you, you big angry oaf! But I didn’t realize it would be a bad time.”

She turned and began to walk off but William narrowed his eyes at her right hand. She was clutching a cardboard sleeve with bottle tops sticking out of it.

“Hey, what is that?”

She stopped then turned, holding it up. “It’s beer. I was going to make it a peace offering but if you’re going to be a growling asshole about it, my beer and I can go home.”

He weighed the option. “You squeamish?”

She raised an eyebrow, “C’mon Sergeant Squatch, you’re not that bad.”

He rolled his eyes then stepped back, holding open the door, “fine. Come in.”

She grinned and darted inside.

“Why are you here anyway?”

“Oh, well.” She shrugged and put the beers on his table, “Sebastian broke up with me.”

He let the door shut and scowled.

“He was never going out with you in the first place, you little home wrecker,” he took one of the beers straight from the cardboard bin that she had them in. He turned the label out and raised and eyebrow.

“What is this shit?”

“It’s a local brew!”

He sniffed it and wrinkled his nose. “It smells like candy.”

“It’s hard root beer.”

He took a drink and then made a face. “Oh my god, Abigail. You brought me girl beer.”

“Hard Root Beer!”

He rolled his eyes then chugged it down, swallowing it within a few more seconds. She gaped.

“Better than nothing I guess,” he said, after letting out a belch. He settled down and went back to getting his sutures ready.

“What are you doing? A sewing project?”*

“As in sewing myself together? Sure.”

She frowned. “The hell, dude.”

“How about this,” he said as he pulled out a pair of locking forceps, clipping them into place around the needle, “You talk about whatever it is that brought you to my door and I get this arm fixed up before nurse psychopants comes back over.”

“Huh?”

“Maru. Now. Speak your peace, Spooky, and open up another one of those girly beers.”

She scowled but then twisted off the top of a beer and put it to the side.

“I wanted to tell you that Sebastian made things pretty clear to me. You know, breaking off our fake relationship.”

He paused with the curved needled above the middle of his gaping and puckered wound. Then he braced himself and shoved the needle through the skin, pushing fast enough that the little point emerged from the other side. He let out a breath then pulled the suture through.

“C’mere, Spookerella,” he said, his tone harsh from pain. “Make yourself useful and hold this for me.”

She stood up, curiously staring down at his bloody wound.

“So um,” she continued, holding the tool while he looped the suture around the tip of the needle then carefully closed it square, pulling the two gaping edges of flesh together, “I thought you might like to know that he did that.”

“If you are going to puke,” he said with intense concentration, “I recommend using the bathroom. I don’t want to clean up your sick after finishing this up.”

She turned her head to where he gestured then swallowed.

“Is there a reason you’re not going to see Doc Harvey about this?”

He reached over and took another swig of beer. “For this? Don’t want to waste his time.”

“Right,” she said.

He aimed the needle again and made another stitch. Three stitches, he figured, that would close it up tight enough to keep from having issues later. Maru was going to shit a brick but he’d deal with it later. He glanced up at Abigail as she stared at his hand, mesmerized by his smooth stabbing.

“You’re not afraid of needles?” She asked.

“No. Though I’d probably stay out of trouble if I’d been more phobic of the little bastards.”

She shrugged then held the forceps while he used his good hand to loop the suture over and over, knotting it three times.

“I like weird stuff. I’ve never seen someone do this to themselves before. Did you numb it?”

“Nope.”

“That’s hardcore,” she whispered.

“Well,” he said, “let’s put it this way. I’ve been through worse than a few stitches.”

She watched him snip off the suture and then waited patiently as he made the final stitch on the other side.

“Why not just start from one end and work your way back?”

“Nah, you want the skin to close in the middle then work in halfs. It works better that way. Skin puckers and if you go from one end and work your way down you gotta use a lock stitch. I’m not that fancy.”

“William Baeur,” she muttered as he closed the third stitch, “not fancy.”

“You got it Spooky.”

He reached over and busted open a packet of ointment, covering the wound with gauze and began to wrap it around his arm.

“So. Um. Anyway,” she muttered, leaning back as he covered up the wound, “You should totally go and forgive Sebastian now.”

He leveled a look at her.

“Really? That’s what this about?”

She crossed her arm. “What? I came over. I told you that he did the right thing. I held your weird needle and gave you beer.”

“And you think that’s going to fix all the issues?”

She threw her hands up. “If I hadn’t been—”

“Abigail,” William said, rubbing his forehead as if it could stave off the headache that was forming behind his eyes, “I think you mean well but in case you forget, Sebastian kissed you. Not the other way around.”

She stamped one booted foot on the ground, glaring at him.

“Damn it, Sasquatch. My friend is sad. He misses you.”

“Yeah? Well then he can march his emo ass up here and deal with me himself instead of sending his spooky little beard to do it for him.”

She scowled. “He doesn’t know I’m here, okay.” She paced for another minute before blurting, “And you dumped him! I bet he doesn’t want to look pathetic. Besides, I figure it’s my fault anyway.”

William began cleaning up his mess, not wanting to look at her earnest face. He didn’t LIKE the bitchy little shit and beer offering non-withstanding, he couldn’t figure why she was here when she clearly didn’t like him either. Still, she’d been a trooper. And she hadn’t tried to boss him to the doctor. He let out a breath.

“Look, it’s not that simple. Our issues? They’re not going to get fixed just because you came up here to apologize.”

“Well why the hell not?

He was tired. His arm hurt. He groaned and tossed the rest of the trash into the fire.

“Spooks. You mean well. That’s sweet. But it’s late. I have sort of had a rough day and the crops aren’t going to water themselves tomorrow,” he turned, intending on booting her ass outside.

She stood in front of him. “No. I’m not leaving until you tell me why you’re giving up on Seb.”

“Because,” he said, “he’s not out, Abigail. I won’t be a secret.”

She scowled. “You are a selfish bastard. Do you think just because you two have hooked up a few times he has some sort of obligation to live like you do?”

He felt his shoulders tighten.

“I didn’t say he had to. But I also didn’t say that I had to just put up with being his secret, did I?”

She threw her hands up. “William. You’ve lived here less than a season. You think you can just march in and dictate the way the town runs? Just change everything because you want to?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you, woman.” His head was really pounding now.

Abigail didn’t let up. “All I’m asking is that you give him a chance again. You broke his heart!”

His temper flared. He punched the mantle with his good hand and she jumped flinching from him.

“I broke my OWN heart, Abigail,” he snarled. He gave her the full force of his gaze, furious with her meddling. Furious with how much he wanted something for pain. Furious that he hadn’t been there when Manuel had died and very much wanting to be left the hell alone. “Or did you ever consider that it might have been hard on me too?”

She swallowed then narrowed her eyes. “Yeah well, you will get over it. Sebastian don’t get over pain so easily.” She stalked over and gathered her things. She looked over her shoulder at him, “you’re welcome for the help. And for the beer. Just think about it.”

He stood by the fire as she left and then stumbled and sagged into his mattress. He let out a breath and rolled on his side, keeping all the weight off his arm. Think about it? Didn’t the dumb bitch realize that all he wanted to do was NOT think?

Because if he thought too much he’d probably end up doing something way worse than breaking a heart.

He held up his hand in the growing shadows of his room, but he could still remember the way the needle felt sinking into his skin. Only he hadn’t let himself have a single drop of anything that could give him relief in a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, these chapters just keep getting longer. >_<
> 
> As always, a warning that this story is not beta'd and I periodically go back to previous chapters and clean up sentence issues and punctuation/spelling errors as I have time. Thank you everyone for always being so awesome and so supportive of my strange lil' yarn. I'm not sure exactly where we're going to end out. I thought I might be done in 50 chapters but now it's feeling like it's more like 60. So. You've been warned.
> 
> Updates happen now on Wednesday and Saturdays. Chapter 28 will be posted Wednesday September 27th, 2017 8-10pm CST.


	28. Remodel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A stiff apology is a second insult... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt. - Gilbert K. Chesterton
> 
> I think you sometimes have to go hit rock bottom before you can grow and rebuild as a person. - Paul Dano

“And you just told them? Just like that? DUDE. I am so freaking proud of you.”

Sebastian felt his face flush at the praise and absently shoved his shoulder into Sam’s, making his Jumino cart veer off the track. It had been three day since he’s officially come out to his family and he’d been recovering from the stress by throwing himself into work. He’d not yet gotten around to telling his mom about his relationship with William. He’d gotten bolder but there was a huge difference between admitting he like men to specifically Introducing a man.

“Focus on the road,” he said, not wanting to focus on this subject any more than he had to.

Sam grinned and then Sebastian 8 bit cart lapped Sam’s cart.

“Dude,” Sebastian complained, “You’re not even a challenge anymore.”

“Whatever,” Sam said, “Abby will be here soon and we can start band practice. Which is good because we’ve got a gig coming up this weekend.”

He perked up. “We do?”

“Yeah, I got a call back from a festival. They need a group to do their live show. I sent them our demo last month and we got the gig.”

“Nice,” Sebastian said, impressed. “You know, you keep this up and we’ll start getting booked more than once a month,” he teased. Sam scowled and rolled his eyes. “You got to take this seriously man. Today, small town festivals. Tomorrow? Headlining in major cities.”

Sebastian chuckled and then stood up, rolling his head on his shoulders. “Fine, fine. Want to try and record another video for the MeTube channel tonight?”

“Maybe,” Sam said, turning off the monitor and storing the controllers.

“You got any new songs?”

Sam shrugged and Sebastian shoved him again, grinning.

“Don’t be shy dude. Your songs are good.”

Sam ducked his head and pulled the carpet over, plugging up the amps. “You’re a good friend to lie to me that way.”

“Who’s lying?”

They looked up to see Abigail coming into Sam’s bedroom. He hesitated, because this was the first time that they’d really interacted since that their conversation, but if she had reservations about seeing them, she had them well-hidden. She nodded at him and tossed her bag on the floor, flopping onto her stool. He let out a breath at that avoided bomb and turned on his keyboard.

“No one,” Sam said, casting Sebastian a glare, that said, ‘Do It And Die.’ Sebastian ignored him.

“Sam’s got a new song and won’t show me.”

Abby brightened, resting her drumsticks on her stand. “A new song!?”

“I don’t,” Sam protested. “It’s not ready.”

Abby grinned and then sat down at her set, tapping her sticks together.

“Okay, well, then. I guess you’ll just show us when you’re ready.” Sebastian blew a raspberry out of disappointment. Usually Abby joined in on any chance to help him tease Sam. She rolled her eyes.

“Grow up, Seb. He doesn’t want to. Now, I didn’t come all the way down here for nothing. Your text said that we managed to get a gig this weekend, right?”

Sam relaxed and plugged in his guitar. “Yup. So let’s work on our set list.”

Sebastian ran his fingers over the keys then shook his head, “You guys suck. Yeah okay, let’s get to it.”

Abby began a steady beat and Sam began to play some chords over it. Sebastian ran his fingers over the keys and then began to pound out the opening bridge to _Hard to Handle_ by Black Crowes. Abby jumped in on the drums and Sam grinned. Abigail raised her brows at him then tapped the cymbals as joined in at the chorus of “ _sure hard to handle_ ”

He’d missed this, he realized, playing the keyboard as Sam sang. He’d missed the routine of band practice and the easy way they all three found the rhythm and music together. Telling his parents, telling Abby…he felt free. His fingers rolled along the keys as Sam begged an unknown pretty mama to light her candle. He and Abby’s voices blended into backup vocals and he laughed as Sam gave a goofy jump while throwing his arm around in wide circle on his guitar.

Abby changed the drum beat and shouted, “ _Your Love!”_

It was all the prompting they needed. Sam shifted his guitar, then took over the opening versus. Sebastian threw himself into the harmonies and they sang it together, playing three encore endings as they each did their own riff. Sam began to play a holding pattern of chords while they looked at Sebastian. In a pause in Sam’s chords, Sebastian began _All Right Now_ and Abigail and Sam picked it up enthusiastically. Sam faced them while he sang and Abby grinned. They finished with their signature set piece: _Bat Out of Hell_ , Sebastian’s personal favorite.

They ended it and Abigail laughed, clapping her drumsticks together.

“You want me to see if Mom will let us use the truck to haul up our gear?” Sebastian asked. None of them had a car. What was the point in their tinyass town? Where would they go? Sebastian had his bike for those occasional trips and otherwise, he begged the truck off his mom.

Abby scooted her chair back.

“Sounds good to me. Where are we playing?”

“Victoryburg,” Sam said, putting his guitar on a stand, “We made the cut called us back about that spring festival they have. We’re going to do an hour on their live show rotation.”

“Oooh, I like the Victoryburg Festival. Rides and snacks and stuff.”

Sebastian pulled the cover over the keyboard, losing his smile.

Last year when they’d managed to get a gig at the same festival and he’d spent a post-performance hour of it hooking up with a stranger he’d met at the beer tent. They’d hidden in the back of the guy’s pick-up truck and he’d felt so stressed about possibly getting caught, he hadn’t even enjoyed it.

He couldn’t even remember the guy’s name.

“You should invite William,” Abigail announced.

He and Sam both snapped their eyes up at her, Sam in surprise, Sebastian in alarm.

“Don’t really like sticking my hand in fire, Abby.”

She rolled her eyes. “You gotta fight for this, Seb,” she said, crossing her arms. “It’s not something that comes along every day!”

He let out a bark of a laugh and said, “If you’re worried about me, don’t be. I can get laid just fine without Will.”

“Yeah well, dirty hook ups in rest stop bathrooms versus someone who gives a shit about you is a stark difference. Besides. I think he misses you.”

“Abby,” Sam said suspiciously, “What did you do?”

She flushed red and fiddled with her backpack. “Do? Me? Who said I did anything?”

Sam groaned. “Abigail, you said you were going to let it alone.”

“When did she say that?” Sebastian asked, suddenly on alert.

“When she left my place last night,” Sam said.

“I said I was going to leave SEBASTIAN alone.”

“Telling me to ask William out isn’t leaving it alone, Abby,” Sebastian muttered.

She stomped her foot. “You two morons like each other! There was a misunderstanding and anyway, William is being a selfish, bossy prick.”

Sebastian felt the beginnings of an Abigail induced headache forming at the back of his head. Probably from his clenched jaw.

“Whatever. It’s not like I’m going to get a chance to see him anyway. He’s banned from the bar on the one night I go there and if I’m not in my room, I’m with you two. So. Problem solved.”

Abigail blew a set of bangs out of her eyes then plopped on Sam’s bed while Seb went towards the door.

“I’ll see you guys Saturday,” he told him as he left both his friends behind, “and stay out of my love-life Abigail.”

And with those parting words, he was out.

*

William looked down at the little plot of land that he’d planted his Jumino-gifted seeds on and wondered, seriously wondered, what the hell had been in the Wizard’s potion.

He’d taken it the night before, right after his first strawberry harvest. His arm was healing up fine and he figured he’d snip and remove his stitches in the next couple of days. Feeling daring and with no one around him to tell him what a bad idea it was to take mysterious potions.

He’d passed out upon taking it and when he woke up, he’d felt…different.

Not bad different. Just, more aware and alert.

Which was why when he was looking down at his plot of land, he could almost detect which plants were going to grow into a nicer and bigger version of what he was trying to achieve. Their leaves were fuller, their stalks stronger.

His other seeds had sprouted bigger as well and he shifted his bucket as he started weeding and pruning his crops. William went through the field and began to pull potatoes, kale, green beans, parsnips and cauliflowers into separate bins. At the rate he was going with his harvests, he was going to have to get some sort of wagon or truck to haul it all back and forth. He carefully packed up the strawberries on top of his daily harvest and headed to Pierre’s.

Hours later, he still was in shock at the amount of money Pierre had slid over for the strawberries.

“It’s the season for them, Bill,” Pierre had said with a chuckle. “Those things are like red gold during spring. Bring me more whenever you have the chance.”

He nodded, then looked down at his dead cell phone.

He’d conveniently forgotten to charge it at Jodi’s, because despite his promise to his Mom, he was avoiding calling Cameron. He wasn’t ready for even a toe to touch back into that part of his life. And if he could put off delving into their past for a little while longer, he was willing to gather the excuses.

He shook the gold in his pocket then looked up at the sky. It was still pretty bright in the day, he reckoned. Robin would be home and probably alone. That decided him.

He went north. Time to get a new expansion on his house.

*

Sebastian’s Mom looked pensive when he came upstairs at his normal evening social time. He looked left and right but Maru and Demetrius were busy with their own studying and work.

“Sebastian,” his mom said, her eyes scanning plans on her table, “Do you know if Jim changed his number?”

Jim was her electrical guy. Sebastian had run cables and wires for him during the summers of high school, the short-term electrician’s gig helping him save up enough for his first computer build. Sebastian actually had a certificate for electrician’s work even though he’d never bothered to get licensed and bonded.

“Yeah, he’s retired,” Sebastian said, leaning against the door. “Why?”

“Shoot!” she grunted, leaned back and rubbing her head. “I can’t get Michael or Amanda until next month and Jim was my last hope.”

He shrugged. “So tell the client that you’ve had a setback.”

“If it were any other client I might,” his mom said, looking back over the plans. “But it’s Farmer Bill and his house is in need of so much work, I’d rather not put it off. Look at this, Seb, no wiring anywhere. What the hell was his grandpa thinking when he’d put that shack together?”

Sebastian remembered William’s home. Cozy but absolutely rural.

“I could do it,” he said.

She blinked and looked up.

“But, I thought you said…” she shook her head, and Sebastian remembered what she was referring to. It had been a long summer and he’d put in over 100 hours one week with her at a particularly frustrating job site. Their general contractor had created ridiculous last minute changes and he’d been stuck in an attic for over half the day, his skin itching from insulation and irritating flies that had plagued the jobsite. After they’d finished, he’d declared that there wasn’t enough money in the world to ever make him lug one more damn coil of wires up into the hot-as-hell attic. He’d slept for three days after they’d finished the contract and he’d joined the computer club as soon as his junior year started.

“C’mon, mom. It’s a small job. It’s like, what, a kitchen expanse and some updating on the bedroom? It’ll take us three or four days. Tops.” He leaned over the plans, even though he’d personally been in that house less than a couple of weeks ago. “See? Maybe it’ll need four boxes. I can do the install and you can call the county power company to come out and hook him into the main system.

She relaxed. “You’re a life saver, son. Yes, absolutely. You can have part of the commission.”

He waved a hand as he headed towards the kitchen. “Just take it out of my rent.”

He tried to act casually while she went back to scratching notes on the side of the plans. He washed some of the dishes in the sink. Dried his hands. No one came in. He opened the fridge, looked inside then snagged a drink. Deciding that was enough of being ‘social’ he retreated, waving as he passed her again. He closed his bedroom door behind himself and leaned against it, his heart pounding.

Had he been casual enough? Had he made it cavalier enough? He shook his head, put his drink down, kicked his shoes off, and flopped onto his bed, groaning at how stupid he was being. He hadn’t run lines in a while and actually DIDN’T particularly enjoy the manual labor. This was going to be a disaster.

But he couldn’t help it. A chance to see Will again? Maybe make some headway on what an idiot he’d been? He looked up at the ceiling and let out a long breath.

No telling how it would go. But Abby was right. It was time to fight for it.

*

It was a beautiful and sunny day when Robin drove her truck full of wood and supplies onto William’s property. He stepped out onto the porch, a mug of instant-coffee in one hand and he waved at her. Then almost choked on his coffee. Because sitting shot-gun in her truck cab was Sebastian.

He hopped out with his mom and began unloading wood from the back of the truck as Robin crossed, coming over to greet him.

“Well, look at all this,” she said, looking at the fenced off rows of crops that he had in square and even lines. “Where are you running your sprinkler lines from?”

His eyes glued to Sebastian, he nodded his head towards the south end of the far, the part that creeped towards the Cindersap forest, “I’ve got a pipe running from the lake up here. Put in a pump house last week.”

She let out a low whistle. “You’re handy William.”

He shrugged and took a longer sip of coffee, still staring at Sebastian and his surprising ease at hauling out sawhorses and power tools.

“I manage,” he said, hating himself for appreciating the lines of Sebastian’s body as he set up a work table and the generator for their job site.

“Well,” Robin said, “I figure that by the end of the week we’ll have your house ready. Going to start on the kitchen today and get the wiring done, then tomorrow we’ll fill in after doing the framing. You should be fine staying the night though. We’ll clean up as much as possible.”

He finally faced her, pulling his attention from checking out her son.

“Sounds like you’ve got it worked out. Gimme a minute to clear out.”

William escaped back into his house and privately reminded himself that he was done with the sideshow that had been trying to date Sebastian. Told himself firmly that it didn’t matter that Sebastian looked better than ever today. Told his dick specifically that it was not in the driver’s seat today. Even if the attractive looking bastard was doing some work at his house. He grabbed his backpack, prepared for a long day in the Mines and therefore away from his potential troublemaker that was APPARENTLY now a fucking handyman on top of being a smart, computer whiz. He was going to Just Say No the way all good addicts were supposed to.

Just as he’d sat down to tie on his boots, there was a knock. Figuring it was Robin, he called, “Come in!”

Clearly the universe took, “No” as a challenge. Sebastian walked in, a clip board in his hand and a belt around his hips, heavy with tools.

He wasn’t wearing his characteristic hoodie, instead he had on a black t-shirt with his mom’s woodworking logo on the right breast. His jeans weren’t the usual tight emo-gear that he favored either, instead he had on a pair of cargo pants with big pockets.

William thought that tight pants had been good for Sebastian’s ass. Nope. Apparently, low slung cargos were just as generous to his ex-boyfriend’s sleek body.

William stared up at him and wasn’t sure what to say. Sebastian closed the door behind him and glanced around the one room cabin. William remained silent. Afraid what he’d say. Afraid to say anything actually. He’d made his feelings clear last time and he knew that any words he spoke would muddy that clarity.

“Hey,” Sebastian said, after William refused to break the silence.

“Hey.”

Sebastian looked back down at the clipboard and then around the room. He hesitated though, the easy confidence he’d shown in the yard retreating into the more familiar anxiety that he associated with Sebastian.

“Came to mark where we’re going to demo and where I’m going to have to add wiring.”

William waved a hand. “By all means.”

Sebastian nodded then turned his back to him, beginning to run a grease pencil in ‘x’s on sections of the wall. William watched him as he tied his boots. Then retied them. Then William took his time blousing the pant leg. Finally, when he realized he was considering changing his belts he decided to just spill out the question that had been plaguing him since he’d left Sebastian alone in that grove.

“How have you been?”

Sebastian’s shoulder stiffened, then he shrugged, “Good. Um, real good actually.” He turned and looked over at him. His look caught William by the heart, his breathing hitched at that intense look. Sebastian did look good. His gaze was clearer and his shoulders were straighter.

“You should know,” he said, “I came out to my family last week.”

William stared, taking in the news.

In his silence, Sebastian looked back at the clipboard and then at the wall. “I thought a lot about what you said. And you were right. What I did? It was immature. And you were right. I’m not expecting anything. I just wanted you to know that I took it to heart.”

William swallowed then stood up, scooping up his backpack. “That’s really great, Bastian,” he said softly, adjusting the straps. “How’d they take it?”

Sebastian grinned and ducked his head, his face flushing. He pushed a lock of hair over his ear and William felt a jolt of arousal coil in his belly. Damn, happy was a good look on Sebastian.

“They did good. Real good, actually,” he said, still smiling, “I probably should have done it sooner, actually.”

William nodded, uncomfortable, the unspoken ‘because then maybe you would have stayed’ was between them. He jerked his thumb at the door.

“I’m uh, heading to the mines, but I’ll be back around noon. You guys think you’ll be taking a break around then?”

“You doing okay since you got hurt?”

He cocked head head. “What?”

Sebastian jerked his chin at William’s arm. “You got hurt a few days ago. My sister told me. You okay?”

He shrugged. “Fine. It wasn’t nothing. Your sister is a worry wart. Showed up the next day with antibiotics and a lecture.”

Sebastian chuckled. “She’s bossy is all.”

“Right. Well. Take it easy, okay?”

Sebastian shrugged. “Mom’s the foreman and she’s a pretty tough boss. So, unlikely.”

He had to stop this easiness. Had to put some distance between what they’d been and what they were. William gave a quick nod then reached out, clapping Sebastian on the back, intending it to be a ‘good job’ type of pat, something heteronormative that would place their distance, but Sebastian was faster, and he locked those long fingers around his wrist.

“I miss you.”

“You’ll get over it,” William whispered, but even though he could have snapped his hand back, he left it in Sebastian’s warm wrist-lock, too intrigued to leave just yet.

“Don’t do that, Will,” he said softly, his fingers still tight, “don’t try and pretend it wasn’t real.”

William’s heart was pounding now. What was happening?

“Because I want you to know,” his fingers tightened, “I’m not giving up on us.”

William opened and closed his mouth, off-balance. Then he scowled.

“You think we can just pick up where we left off? You think it’s that easy? Just because you want it now?” Will said, keeping his voice low in case Robin was close.

“I don’t. I acted badly,” Sebastian said. “That doesn’t mean I don’t miss you though. And it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to find a way back to where we were.”

William’s mouth went dry at the confession.

Because this was the first time that he could remember that Sebastian had made even the first effort at pursuing him instead of the other way around.

Sebastian let go of his wrist then and nodded at the door.

“See you when you get back,” he said.

William nodded, unable to think of something to say.

Maybe if Sebastian’s mom hadn’t been there things would have gone differently. Maybe he would have just done what he’d always done whenever he wanted something…he’d take it.

But things weren’t different and he needed to be able to think about what exactly Sebastian was offering before he made any more mistakes in his week.

As mistake counters went, William’s was already too damn high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who has left kudos, comments, and bookmarks. I do this for y'all.  
> The setlist that Sam's band used in this fic:
> 
>  
> 
> [Hard To Handle](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtLbE3IUY2U)  
> [Your Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N1iwQxiHrs)  
> [All Right Now](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siMFORx8uO8)  
> [Bat out of Hell](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QGMCSCFoKA)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> (Just imagine Sam as all the lead singers. Sam singing Meatloaf makes me wanna just throw my arms up and dance, not gonna lie. Yes. I am a dirty, dirty 80s-90s rock fan.)
> 
> We are about to see a shift in Sebastian as he has completely morphed from the voice I originally had when I started this roller coaster. Also, hopefully the future chapters are going to get a little bit more steamy. I started this story with the intention of there being way more smexytimes happening but then you know, William. 
> 
> Anyway, chapter 29 will go up Saturday, September 30th 8-10pm CST. Thank you for all feedback and love. I read and cherish it all. :3


	29. Frozen Tear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
> Violence, pining, hurt/comfort, medical emergencies, blood and all the other disastrous bullshit that William puts himself through in the name of love.

It had been literal years since Sebastian last did manual labor.

His mom, so chatty when they were in social groups, slipped into her normal work mode as soon as Will was gone. Which meant that her orders were brusque and direct. He had work to do and had no time to think about William, who was looking ripped and gorgeous as he stomped off towards the mines to smash things and probably get more cuts and bruises doing whatever macho bullshit he seemed obsessed with. He’d said he was coming back at noon.

Did he mean it?

“Seb, go get the tarps,” his mom said, pulling him out of that particular anxiety spiral.

He pull tarps out of the truck, added gas to the generator and then got to work.

They dug up the spot for the new foundation and then their delivery came. It was rebar to reinforce the foundation groundwork. While he was hauling the rebar into the hole, his mom had laid out pipes for the gas and water lines.

“Careful that you don’t expand it past that spot I marked,” his mom said, pointing to the left. He frowned at her, dragging more of the rebar cages over.

“What’s going there?”

“His basement expansion.”

“We’re doing that too? Mom. We’re not going to dig a basement in a week.”

She shrugged and pushed her hair out of her eyes. “I’ve got a feeling about the farmer,” she said, reaching over and straightening her framework for the foundation, “and it’s better to be prepared for the future, son.”

Sebastian frowned. “What sort of feeling could you have about Will?”

His mom paused in her work and glanced up at him. He felt as though she were measuring him. As if he’d revealed something important but he couldn’t fathom what she’d noticed or seen. Then she went back to work, nodding for him to pull the last of the reinforcements down into their hole.

“Just that he’s going to be settling with us here in the Valley,” she said, her gloved hands matching the rebar joints with the same ease that other moms might fold a basket of laundry. Yet, this was her realm- the realm of building things. The realm of creating shelter and art in the same act. He shrugged off her cryptic words. It was unlikely he’d be able to pull more from her without a pair of plyers. He hopped out of the dirt hole and went back up to where they’d set the saw station to cut down the framing boards.

They worked for hours; he and his mom measuring and cutting boards, ripping out drywall that concealed the beams he needed to use to start the electrical install, laying out the plywood that would be the beginning of the new walls. It was steady and quiet work. They didn’t chat other than to pass materials back and forth. Their only shared words were his mom’s terse instructions and his grunts of acknowledgment.

They worked alone until their concrete truck pulled up.

Their steady effort was interrupted by a sudden construction frenzy. The team that had accompanied the truck poured concrete over their prepared plot, shoving as much of it as possible into every nook and cranny, running long and slender sticks of wood over the entire plot before leaving it so it could cure. It took two hours before they’d finished, but by 11, they were done and gone.

Sebastian and his mom worked till noon. Once the sun was high in the sky, his mom clapped him on his shoulder—the signal for break time. They sat on the lip of her truck, sharing cold drinks from the thermos while eating sandwiches. But William didn’t come by like he’d said he might.

“Demetrius is the best cook,” his mom declared when she opened her lunchbox to see he’d cut some cheese into heart shapes.  Sebastian let the words pull him back into the present. William had probably decided that it was best to avoid him after all. He frowned down at his own lunch with similarly shaped cheese snacks.

“What, does he think we’re five?”

His mom grinned at him, love-struck, and stupid as always when it came to Demetrius.

“Dem is a good man, Sebby,” she chided.

“When he’s minding his own business, maybe,” he said.

He interrupted any further conversations by shoving the first cheese slice into his mouth and waggling his brows at his mom.

“You know, Farmer Bill is also a good man.”

His master plan of not talking was foiled by a sudden inhale of cheese particles into his lungs. His lungs protested this invasion and began evasive maneuvers. These operations were performed by an intense coughing fit that had his mom pounding his back as he choke-wheezed.

“Goodness,” his mom said, taking his lunch away from him and raising his arms above his head. After a moment, he was able to get a decent breath, but his eyes were watering from the sudden pain of near-death by cheese.

“What?” he croaked as his mom shoved a thermos at him. He gulped iced tea and after a moment had his breathing under control.

“Looks like the thought of Farmer Bill leaves you a bit flatfooted,” she chuckled, handing him back his lunch.

“Mom,” he said, “please don’t tell me that you’ve already swapped match-making targets.”

She raised a brow then waggled her own brows back at him, then bit into her sandwich. She didn’t choke. So unfair.

He shook his head and stared at Will’s house. He saw her plans in his mind’s eye like a set of transparent lines over the work that was currently there. They still needed to get the frame for the addition on, but that would come tomorrow after the concrete cured. Today he was going to run lines and install the power boxes and do the testing. Tomorrow they’d frame it up, install the counters and cabinets, and then attach the main power. Maybe they’d get it all done in a day. They’d been making good time thus far.

“You know, Sebastian,” his mom said into the quiet of his thoughts, I really wish you’d have told us sooner. Was that why you quit grid ball?”

Record scratch on his thoughts.

He shifted on the truck bed and ate some more so he wouldn’t have to answer. She was looking at him with Mom Eyes, too soft and understanding. He knew, maybe, he should say something, but…it had happened so long ago. He had never wanted them to know. Had never wanted anyone to know. The locker room incident was so far in the past that even thinking about it was like watching an event happen to someone else.

Instead, he said, “Not because I was gay. Because…it wasn’t me. Grid ball was just an attempt to prove to myself that I could get over it. I decided I wasn’t going to do that anymore.”

It was partly true. His mom cocked her head then shrugged, willing to let it go, at least this time.

“Well. I meant what I said. About Farmer Bill being a good guy. And Jodi said that he’s gay too, you know.”

He looked at her sideways.

“I see.”

“Because you know, whoever you bring home, we only care that they treat you well.”

He flushed. He took another bite of food and knew his face was turning bright colors but he couldn’t help it. His mom had no idea how reckless he’d been when it came to his relationships. She didn’t know about the clumsy hand jobs in bathrooms or his first, disastrous college boyfriend who’d ended up being such a disappointment that he’d barely touched another physical person until William. She had no clue that he’d been a freaking nightmare to date, had dumped all his anxieties and baggage on William like so many rocks. No wonder the guy was gun-shy about trying again. Hell, the indomitable Mr. In-Your-Face hadn’t even had the desire to leave the mines for lunch.

Sebastian sipped from the thermos and focused on the porch that was currently covered in sawdust and a stack of wood. That porch where they had done _things_. Shame heated his cheeks but at least the exertion of the day could disguise the embarrassment as sunburn.

“Thanks, Mom,” he said, bumping her arm with his shoulder. She smiled then brushed the crumbs off her lap.  He did the same and pulled his work gloves back on.

“So,” he said, nodding towards the coils, “shall we dance?”

She mimed rolling up her sleeves, “Thought you’d never ask.”

*

William had never been a fan of big gyms. He’d never liked fancy exercise equipment and sharing his air with muscular walking dumbbells that were more interested in the appearance of their bodies than the function. Plus, the rampant homophobia that existed in most exercising spaces had just caused him to avoid the stupid sweat factories.

The military had a better attitude about the entire process of building one’s body up.  You did it through effort and purpose. Hike 15 miles while carrying another human on your back. Pour yourself out into a mold of a soldier to come back even stronger than before.

When he was in boot camp, he worked hard because the soldier next to him was going to need his best.

Today though? His effort was all about trying to process his stupid, fucking, brain before he gave into what Sebastian was offering. Not that he was completely sure Sebastian _knew_ what he was offering.

He slammed the pickaxe down and let it be a metronome to the whirlwind of his thoughts.

Fact 1- He and Sebastian had electric chemistry. William had tried, at first, to tell himself that their connection was as a simple right place, right time. They’d been able to scratch a mutual itch better than most. Yet the near month they’d spent together had proven, to him at least, that Sebastian eased something in his chest. His touch could clear the shadows from his brain. He had a way of bringing the world into perspective. Worst, part of him believed that Sebastian needed him, or at least made him feel like he did. And no one had needed William in a damn long time.

His pickaxe shattered a few rocks and he collected up the copper ore. Checked his watch. Three hours until noon. He had time.

Fact 2- Sebastian was terrified of the whole damn world and William hadn’t understood it. He’d pushed him into being open, pushed him into accepting him, even though saner people that Sebastian had tried and failed. Which made Spooky right, damn it. He was a selfish bastard.

His pickaxe smashed another rock and revealed a ladder. Nice. He propped it to the side, judged the drop and then began to climb down, sticking a torch against the wall as he did so.

For a moment, his scattered thoughts were lost in the beauty of the new cave that he’d found. He shivered, the temperature dropping. These mines were unlike anything connected to true reality. The longer he’d explored them, the more he realized that there couldn’t have been any way that a company would have abandoned them for any normal and explainable reason. The magic that existed in this strange place had changed it utterly.

William passed an elevator shaft and looked around. All around him was open space spotted with ore-rich stone. He laid down a torch to mark his path and began his descent once more, still chewing on his problems.

Fact 3- He missed Sebastian. Missed him like an ache in his side. He’d thought, stupidly, that once he’d ended things, it would be like it always was when he was done with a relationship. He’d just move on, with no desire to talk to his ex….Cameron didn’t count but then again, he hadn’t decided to end that, now had he?

He smashed another hole and found a new shaft. He followed it down, going deeper, mentally tracking where he was in relation to the elevator. He marked his path with torches and followed his instincts, marching deeper into the cold, dark caverns. He kept his senses on alert, his mind still turning over the tricky problem of what to do about his logical brain (End things as they were. Minimize pain) and his heart (One more try).

Fact 4- He felt like he was slipping and he didn’t know how to stop. He’d been out of support groups for 9 months. He’d been isolated and alone for almost a week, outside of dropping off his laundry and setting up his home expansion, he’d barely seen another person. His body ached now worse than before and he knew he was pushing himself too hard, but he couldn’t help it. To be still for too long was to invite the whispers back, to remember how good it felt NOT to feel.

William turned a corridor, mind adjusting the compass of the mines in relation to his elevator.

The mines were bizarrely broken, their layout confusing with no safety features installed for the previous miners. Perhaps it wasn’t so bad that they were no longer in commercial use. He didn’t care because there was one thing the mines had that nowhere else in his peaceful little valley had.

Danger.

As soon as he entered the next level, he could hear the wingbeats of giant bats. He couldn’t see them, not yet.

He’d fought them before and knew their pattern: dive bombing unsuspecting trespassers in the darkness.

He stepped back into the glow of torches. He was ready for them today. When the first one came out of the black, he spread his legs, balancing the way he’d been trained. William had swapped his pickaxe to his off-hand and drew his sword. He waited and then, with a sudden blur of motion, he slammed the blade into the screaming creature. The bat bounced off the blade, dazed. There was a line of hot, smelly, blood splattering across his face and the mine shaft. That splatter of gore eased a craving he had within him, something visceral and dark that had been hungry for violence and the need to rend and tear ever since he’d been medically discharged from active duty.

This was life or death—because more bats were emerging around him, long teeth dripping with green saliva. William screamed a challenge at them and they screamed back. The first bat lunged at him again, bleeding but crazed with aggression and hate.

William slashed it out of the air and felt his lips stretching in a smile as the little fucker cracked against the blade.

Did Sebastian really want this?

He’d warned him, back on the ocean. No one really wanted crazy. They thought they did, but the amount of instability that lay at his own core was so overwhelming that he couldn’t process it. And William wasn’t sure that Sebastian had even begun to understand the bullet he dodged.

He stepped forward and shoved the point of his sword down onto the writhing monster and then turned, catching the next one on the blade. He dispatched that one just as brutally, blood dripping on his skin, on his clothes, and on the walls.

Being with Sebastian had helped with that disassociated greyness, but nothing cured his ennui like a fight. He heard more of the cloud of bats, more of the colony summoned to do battle with the intruder. William shoved back against them, his thoughts straightening up with each swing of his blade, laying out the facts in neat, orderly rows.

He’d pursued Sebastian when he knew that he was in the closet.

He’d practically stalked the fucker.

He’d pushed him.

He’d shoved him, shoved him so hard that Sebastian had been forced to push back.

And it was fucked up.

And Sebastian, the poor guy, deserved better.

The bat crawled at his feet, screaming its outrage, dragging a broken wing, little red eyes full of hate. He shoved the tip of his blade down on the creature and it died, bloody and gruesome.

He looked around and was surrounded by the disgusting little corpses. He stayed tense but it was finished. The battle was done. He let out a breath and rubbed at his bloody face.

Every day had pulled into a pattern: Get up. Water his crops, harvest what was ready, go sell them to Pierre, then to the Mines, where he broke stones and lost himself in the repetitive hunt for ores and monsters.

He was an aggressive hamster on a wheel and how was that any different than staying back in the city?

William pulled out his handkerchief, wet it from his canteen and wiped his face, turning the white square blood red. Jodi was getting tired of washing the blood out of his clothes. Soon he wouldn’t have to bother her with it. He sheathed the sword, collected his things, and then turned towards his next ladder. He descended and shivered. If the last level had been cool, this one was practically frozen. He looked around and realized on this level of the mines, everything was covered in ice.

It was beautiful, he thought, looking around the room. He experimentally chipped around the rocks, looking to see if there were any more veins of ore when a few blue fragments shattered against a wall. He frowned and knelt.

It was a blue stone in a teardrop shape. William swallowed and shivered, touching the strange little crystal.

He’s found ores. He’d found gemstones. But there was something captivating about this particular stone; like someone had taken a tear and frozen it into the beautiful and sad shape. He swallowed and rolled it through his fingers, the smooth side coming to a point.

William stared at the tear and remembered with painful clarity the last time he’d cried, last time he’d been able to give release to his emotions without using pain, without using euphoria or rage.

It had been in his room, with Sebastian underneath him, his thready breathing, passionate cries and desperate touches coaxing out William’s fear and internalized horror into something beautiful between them. He took the punishment, took all William had given him and loved it. In that moment, with Sebastian’s face burned into his memory, he’d known down to the scars on his soul that what they’d had was more than sex. And it scared the shit out of him.

He sank on his heels and in that moment, he realized…this wasn’t living. William looked at the mine and his breath clouded around his face.

Since when had he ever run away from a situation?

He sure as fuck wasn’t going to do it again.

William closed his fingers around the little crystal tear, his realization locked on finding the gem. He knew exactly who he was going to give it to. He gathered up his pickaxe, eyes skimming the walls for his exit.

That was when he heard the scraping of claws on ice.

Before he could react, intense pain shot through his hand, the little gem careening out of his fingers and sliding across the ice. He had a slice over his fingers, a bolt of jagged ice next to the little gem. He closed and opened his hand. It was sore but it worked. William looked up and felt sensible, instinctive, terror crawl through him.

Standing between him and his exit was a large, black furred humanoid shaped monster with four arms and glowing, red, eyes. And the asshole was armed too. William identified a bow in its first hand, a mysteriously glowing blue ball in it’s second and with sharp claws tipping off the other two appendages rounding out its nastiness. William backed down and knelt, never letting his eyes leave the dark creature, easily a head taller than he was.

His fingers touched the little teardrop and he narrowed his eyes. He was tired, alright, but he’d promised Sebastian he’d be back in an hour. He was done hiding down here and just had one monster in the way? Piece of cake.

“That all you got, fugly?” he asked as he stood up, putting the gem into his pocket.

It roared and from the other shadows, ten more creatures stepped out of the icy darkness.

William stiffened then crouched, his hand starting to seep blood from where the bastard had grazed him. He squeezed and shifted the grip on his pickaxe, drawing his sword.

“Alright,” he muttered, “looks like that’s enough.”

His focus narrowed to his goal: the ladder out.

So maybe instead of a piece of cake, it was a whole cake. Too bad for them.

He rolled his head and then they moved and William shouted, blade raised for battle.

_I’m coming back, Sebastian. Just wait for me._

*

Sebastian was on his back, under the porch, a flashlight in his mouth when he heard his mom call at him.

“I’m calling it a night, Sebby,”

He spat out the light and pulled himself out a bit to see her. She was tired, and to be fair, so was he. But, he hadn’t finished the last of his installs, and he really wanted a chance to get this done before they started the next steps tomorrow. And. Will hadn’t come home yet.

“Go on,” he called, sliding back underneath the house, “I’ve not got much more. I want this done before the power company comes tomorrow.”

It was cooler at night at least, and while the light wasn’t ideal, it was still better than trying to do this in the heat of the day.

“Alright. But don’t stay out too late. I intend to be here early.”

He waved an arm and went back to threading the wiring.

Maybe a half hour later, he heard footsteps, but they didn’t sound like the normal steps his mom made. Instead they were slow, as if the person walking was dragging each foot in front of the other.

Ingrid dashed across his legs in the dark to greet whoever the walker was and he realized it had to be Will. He closed his eyes and let out a breath, but if he was being honest, this was what he’d wanted by staying behind. A reason to really talk with Will again. A way to prove to him that he’d meant what he’d said and that he wasn’t running away.

Will’s absence had been a sore point all day and he was low-key irritated that he’d lied about coming back, but then, he never thought this was going to be easy. Time to prove his words with actions.

Sebastian pushed out from under the deck, admiring the work that they’d gotten done. His mom had already reinforced the porch, fixed the sagging step, and the fresh wood was bright against William’s front door. Sebastian brushed himself off as he straightened, his eyes straining in the dimness for Will’s form. It was dark and he couldn’t see William as anything beyond a shadow. A big, swaying, shadow.

The lumbering shadow paused but there was no mistaking the silhouette for anyone else.

“Hey Will,” Sebastian said.

“Sebastian?”

All of Sebastian’s words he’d saved up fled at the absolute despair in William’s voice. Sebastian squinted and pointed his flashlight up…into William’s bloody face.

For a moment, William’s eyes were steady, locked on Sebastian. He smiled, as if he was relieved. Before his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed into the dirt in front of his house.

“WILLIAM!”

Sebastian scrambled forward, his body pumping with adrenaline fueled disbelief. He skidded onto his knees and flipped Will over. Will was breathing in short, shallow gasps. When Sebastian touched his chest, he groaned.

“S’fine…” Will mumbled, his movements erratic and shaky. Sebastian closed his eyes and let out a long breath. He was alive. He was breathing. He was bloody and in absolutely no state to take care of anything. Sebastian shoved his panic down, inhaled, taking a moment just to THINK.

First, get him out of the dirt. Second, call the doctor. Third, do what the doctor said. Fourth, get him well enough to yell at him.

Sebastian let out the breath and reached down, hauling Will up, one hand scooping underneath his arm and Sebastian shoved his shoulder underneath Will’s chest, lifting with his legs to get Will up. Will let out another yell of pain and protest.

“Help me, you big bastard,” Sebastian cursed, his tone curt.

“I’m kay,” Will said, his words slurring.

“No, you’re fucking NOT,” Sebastian said, shifting him up. He hissed in effort trying to get him up, “I’m calling Doc Harvey.”

William groaned low and deep as Sebastian’s shoulders touched his chest. He tried to pull away and the effort of it nearly sent them both careening to the ground.

“Lemme sleep. Made…made it back. All kay now…”

“Would you fucking help me get your big ass up your stairs?” Sebastian hissed, adjusting his center of gravity to compensate for William’s nearly dead weight, “Good god, how much do you weigh?”

“Sorry, I lied,” William mumbled as he tried to get his legs underneath him.

 Sebastian let out a breath as Will balanced slowly, still, too unsteady to walk alone. Sebastian hauled him up the stairs and into his house. They had a tarp over the exposed area of the house, but Sebastian had no intention of him staying beaten and bloody in the half finished renovation. Later. He’d worry about that later.

He shoved William unceremoniously onto his bed and pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing the clinic with a few swipes of the phone.

William groaned and covered his eyes, laying on his side.

Sebastian knelt next to him, putting a hand on Will’s forehead, but he couldn’t figure out where he was bleeding from.

It took Doc Harvey three rings to pick up but as soon as he did, Sebastian kept his voice even and calm.

“Doc? It’s Sebastian. I’ve got a medical emergency.”

“What’s wrong, Sebastian?” The doctor’s voice was sharp in the phone and Sebastian thought he heard the man moving things around.

“It’s Farmer William,” he said, grim, still running his fingers over William’s head in an attempt to figure out where the bleeding was coming from, “Mom and I were doing some work at his place and he came home disoriented and bloody.”

“I see. Alright, wait right there. I’m on my way. Don’t move him, don’t give him anything to eat or drink, and try to keep him still and calm. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Harvey hung up and Sebastian looked around, suddenly at a loss of what to do. He swallowed the lump of terror in his throat.

“Its okay, Bastian,” Will croaked from the bed, “just a bump. S’got me feeling real funny is all.”

“Shhh,” Sebastian whispered, rubbing his hand.

“Nah, keep me chatty,” Will said, trying to open his eyes, “case its concussion.”

Sebastian shook his head, and cast around the room until he found Will’s chair. He slid it over and sat next to the bed.

“What the hell happened?”

“Ambush. It’s always the damn ambushes. Never prepared for that. Cept I got it. They wanted it but I got it.”

Will started to struggle, trying to sit up, reaching into his pocket.

“Stop that!” Sebastian barked, leaning over him to shove him back down. Will grimaced as Sebastian touched his chest and let out a hiss. He fell back obediently then held up his hand in a fist, slowly uncoiling his fingers. His knuckles were bruised and busted, as if he’d been hitting hard things with them. Then he frowned as a blue stone fell into his hand, warm from William’s grasp.

Sebastian blinked and his eyes widened, holding the blue crystal up to the light. It was a Frozen Tear, a gem that was uncommon around their valley. His mom had a pair of earrings made out of them, but they were tiny stones in comparison to the rock that he was holding.

“Wanted…to give that to you,” William rasped, leaning back, his hand wrapping around the rock in Sebastian’s hand, “cuz…cuz I wasn’t giving up either. Just…god, Sebastian, I fucked up.”

Sebastian swallowed, looking at the stone, then back up at Will, his eyes still wide.

“Let me see if I understand—”

“Good luck because I barely do,” Will groaned, shifting on the bed, letting out shallow breaths.

“—this right, you found this Frozen Tear…and then got ambushed by monsters? So then what, Will? You fought them all off single handedly?”

Will started to wheeze out a laugh, but then whimpered in pain. He swallowed and rubbed at his face. He grunted and made a face, unable to get comfortable. “Sums it up,” he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.

Sebastian swallowed, absurdly touched and furious.

“You moron,” he whispered, pulling Will’s fist to his lips, “you stupid, idiotic, bumbling, pigheaded, glorious, dumbass.”

William squeezed the hand and smirked, “You’re articulate when you’re mad.”

Sebastian sighed then turned his head when he heard gravel crunching.

“That’ll be the doc.”

William gripped Sebastian’s hands tighter, borderline painful.

“Promise me,” he whispered, eyes wide as he heard the footsteps, “No painkillers, Bastian. Promise me.”

Sebastian hesitated then rubbed Will’s hands, “Shhh, Will, you’re hurt. Doc Harvey is going to fix you up, okay?”

Will nearly pushed himself upright but Sebastian was beginning to predict his stupidity and placed one hand on the middle of Will’s sternum, pushing back with barely any force. Will shouted out, and fell back, unable to speak. He breathed quicker now, and Sebastian could feel his heart pounding against his palm. Will opened his mouth again but he could only to breathe in short, raspy, urgent pants. Sebastian frowned down at him, shaking his head. This much pain? How could he want to just deal with what was clearly in a lot of pain.

Doc Harvey didn’t bother knocking, just came in as Will stared at Sebastian, his gaze locked on him like a lifeline.

“See, it’s going to be okay, all okay. The doc is here.”

William opened his mouth, tried one more super-human push against Sebastian’s restraining hand and then as if it had finally just become too much, his head rolled back, and he sank back into the bed.

Sebastain’s mouth went dry, but then he let out a breath. The doctor was here. William was delirious and he was going to be fine.

Just. Fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooooooh!
> 
> Alright, so according to my vague sense of how these things are paced, I feel like we're getting to the end of act 2 and moving into act 3 with the idea that this is a 5 act type story.
> 
> I'm going to go ahead and give this story an ending of 50 chapters with understanding that I will definitely be adjusting that as time goes on.
> 
> Thank you everyone who bookmarks, kudos, and of course, my favorite, comments. 
> 
> These chapters are un-beta'd and so any errors are mine and will and can be smoothed out as time allows.
> 
> Update schedule for Cloudburst is Wednesday/Saturday and chapter 30 should go up Wednesday October 4th, 2017 from 8pm-10pm CST. Thank you all for sticking with me! ~Draco


	30. Broken Nose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visitor from the past and a promise for the future.  
> Not necessarily in that order.

His ears worked. Something nearby beeped out a staccato of pulses. His nose burned with bleach and alcohol. He felt a scratchy sheet over his bare legs and the room was too cold, his skin pimpled with gooseflesh. William’s heart pounded in his ears in time with the incessant beeping, yet his breathing was steady. He was floating, he realized vaguely. Weightless in the bed. He knew that couldn’t be right. He’d _hurt_ so much…why didn’t he hurt? Was he dead? No…that wouldn’t make sense. You couldn’t hear and smell and feel if you were dead. His beeping staccato began to increase in pace. His palms felt moist but he couldn’t seem to get his breathing under control. It was so slow.

He inhaled but he couldn’t make it faster. It was too slow. Oh fuck, could he breathe? Why couldn’t he breathe?

“Will?”

He turned his head and peeled his eyes open, saw Sebastian sitting next to him and vaguely realized he was in a white room, a teal-green curtain hanging around them. At his movement, Sebastian surged to his feet and squeeze his hand. He shifted and with building panic saw the catheter attached to the IV pole.

No.

Nononononono….

The beeping went crazy as he jerked himself upright and tried to claw the little plastic tube out of his hand. What were they giving him? He was hyperventilating and struggling against choking terror.

“Harvey!” Sebastian shouted as he threw himself forward, pinning William back onto the bed. William shouted in anguish but Harvey had already intervened, his hands joining Sebastian in shoving him down. He felt too weak, too tired, too worn from fighting the creatures in the cave and besides, the horse was out of the barn. After working so hard and staying strong for so long, it was over.. Two and a half years of sobriety fucking _gone_.

The sob rose up in his chest and he hated them both right now, hated everyone, and hated the world for this sick joke.

“Mr. Bauer,” Harvey snapped, pulling a strap across the hospital bed and locking him into place as he cried, “calm down! You are going to exacerbate your wounds.”

Sebastian was white-faced, his eyes huge pools of fear as he watched William break down. He couldn’t look at him, couldn’t do anything except try and master the panic, master the terror and the loathing. William tried to suck in his breath, tried to control his breathing and after a few seconds of cramped muscles, until he could growl, “Take it out doc. Take out the IV. Stop the drip, please, please, I’m begging you,” his voice broke and he wanted to hide his face, wanted to do anything feel their eyes on him in this too-bright room with its cold lights and harsh smells.

Harvey frowned but then moved to the side, doing something with the IV pump, and William knew it was too late, knew he’d broken the streak and once more he’s failed—

“Will,” Sebastian whispered, snapping his thoughts into focus, “Will, shhh. It’s going to be okay. You were hurt pretty bad. Broken ribs and a concussion. We had to drive you up to the county hospital.”

“Unstrap me,” William said, his voice flat.

Harvey shook his head warningly at Sebastian then stepped outside, talking softly outside the door to a nurse. William felt his eyes dripping and squeezed them, emasculated and small in this stupid fucking room.

“If you give a shit about me, Bastian,” he hissed, “you’ll help me get the hell out of here.”

Sebastian didn’t look intimidated. And didn’t that just take the entire bakery of cakes.

“In a minute,” Sebastian soothed, rubbing his shoulder as his eyes flashed around. “The hospital contacted your parents and they’re on their way.”

“How?”

“Um, you had a phone at your place. I powered it on and figured that ‘Mom and Dad’ were important contacts.”

William squeezed his eyes shut and the shaking started again.

“Hey, hey,” Sebastian said, his fingers rubbing tighter circles on his shoulder. It was grounding, gave him something to focus on and William fought his breathing, imaging how he had to look on the hospital bed. The picture his imagination painted was brutal. He probably looked half crazy. His mom and dad were going to walk in to another one of his breakdowns. Another failure. He’d been doing so well but this was just one more dip into his normal routine of destroying those around him.

“You’re going to be okay,” Sebastian continued, “they did x-rays and a CT. You’ve got some broken ribs that they want to be careful of. You’re going to need the help. But hey, no internal bleeding. You probably feel a bit disoriented but Harvey said that was normal with a concussion.”

He wished he could believe Sebastian. He wished that he could make him understand how very Not Okay he was right now. He cleared his throat but didn’t try opening his eyes. The drug was working in his system and it terrified him that he felt so very, very soft right now.

“What did they give me?”

“Um, I’m not entirely sure. They were worried that you weren’t conscious. You slept through the scans.”

William opened his eyes, eyes locked on the ceiling.

“Tell the doctor no opiates. Tell them that.”

Sebastian bit his lip and then said softly, “they were worried about your pain—”

“NO GODDAMNED OPIATES!” he shouted, the heart monitor beeping a shrieking staccato. Sebastian flinched.

The shout tore a shock of pain through his healing chest, punishment for losing his temper on Sebastian. He let out a shallow sigh as the guilt washed after the fury and he turned his head away.

Sebastian started to withdrawal, started to leave him, but William clung to his fingers, stubborn and desperate for the contact. Starved for anchor as the pain Sebastian had warned him of began to return. Good. He wanted the pain instead of the hateful floating.

William couldn’t look at Sebastian—was too afraid to see the fear back in his eyes; but he didn’t let go of that hand. As much as he hated the situation, he knew it wasn’t Sebastian’s fault.

Sebastian hesitated, but try and take his hand back. Then William heard a chair scrape across the floor and Sebastian sat in it, his fingers still locked around his.

William waited for a soft word of recrimination, waited for the chastising. It didn’t come.

He turned his head, finally able to _try_ looking at Sebastian’s face. He looked calm, eyes soft and with no hit of judgement in his eyes. The absolute relief that he didn’t see that same recrimination he’d created in previous loved one’s faces was better than the drugs. He sagged a bit, his mind locking onto the way his skin felt with Sebastian’s his thumb moving in soothing and steady circles against his knuckles, right over the track marks between his fingers. The realization caused a small stomach flip. He looked down to where Sebastian’s long fingers and delicate finger pads were stroking, then let out a breath.

“I’m sorry,” William whispered into the silence.

Sebastian kept watching him with those dark eyes, his expression even and steady. Then he leaned forward and wiped William’s face, running his finger over the tear tracks. William closed his eyes again, the care more than he’d expected, after everything that had happened between them. Sebastian pressed his forehead against Will’s his body resting on half of the hospital bed.

“I tried to tell them,” he said softly. “But they said your heartrate and blood pressure was elevated. Something about how you were going to cramp up. I didn’t understand all of it. But since I’m not next of kin, I couldn’t make the call.”

William hated himself for how much he craved these touches. Hated that he’d wasted them on the stupid hospital room. He let out another shallow breath and nodded his head at the restraints.

“I’m not going to freak out again,” he said gruffly, trying to prove his good behavior by staying still, “Tell Doc Harvey to let me up.”

Sebastian sat up and blew his bangs to the side of his face. Then he reached over and unbuckled the restraint from around William’s shoulders.

“Doc said that they’re going to keep you overnight and send you home with some meds,” _fuck that shit_ “they want you to check back in with Doc Harvey to check your lungs. You could develop pneumonia if your breathing doesn’t improve.”

William held off laughing, knowing it would just hurt worse. Then he sombered. Sebastian was here. Despite all of it. He was here. He squeezed the hand again, then relaxed it. Sebastian squeezed back. Doc Harvey’s shadow left the edge of the room and Will turned his head to contemplate the tubing.

“You scared the shit out of me, Will,” Sebastian said.

William turned his IV-connected hand sideways and rubbed it against the sheet.

“If it makes you feel any better,” he said, feeling woozy all over again, another effect the drug inside him, lying to him about how he felt, “I didn’t mean to.”

“You didn’t mean to come home like a bloody wreck?”

“Well, no.”

Sebastian bit out a laugh and shook his head, the laughter easing some of the tension in his face.

“Will, when was the last time one of your plans went the way you wanted?”

“First rule of being a soldier,” he said, easing into Sebastian’s gentle teasing, “no plan survives first contact with the enemy.”

Sebastian squeezed his hand, his face sobering.

“Don’t scare me like that again, please.”

William turned his head and nodded, rubbing his IV hand against his face, grimacing when he felt how sweaty-dirty he was. The grime was rolling into disgusting little stripes of filth against his damp palm.

“I look like dogfuck,” he muttered, looking around.

Sebastian let out a long breath then squeezed his hand.

“So basically how _I_ feel right now,” he said softly, mimicking Will’s face scrubbing with his free hand. William grimaced and looked him up and down, critically accessing the wrinkled hoodie, the red eyes and tousled hair. He finally released Sebastian’s hand and Sebastian looked up, startled.

Will gave him an easy smile, at least he hoped it was an easy smile, “I’m feeling thirsty, babe. Can you go get me a drink?”

Sebastian relaxed, focused on the request, before nodding.

“Does it matter what it is?”

William waved his good hand. “Something with caffeine. I want to be awake when Ma and Dad get here.”

That changed the tension in Sebastian’s body language. _Well_ , William thought uncharitably, _if you didn’t want to meet my parents then you shouldn’t handed over their number._

“Sure thing. I’ll be back soon.”

Just as he was about to get out of reach, William snagged Sebastian’s hoodie sleeve.

“One more thing,” he said, tugging him close.

Sebastian looked at him and leaned down. Sebastian’s lips made him hungry for more than food. The heartrate monitor went off again but at least this time, the reason wasn’t panic.

*

Sebastian felt like he’d been hit through a wash cycle and then tossed outside in the middle of a tornado to dry. His stomach had been giving him fear cramps for over an hour, his shoulders and neck throbbed from how tense he’d been and all of it was secondary to the crushing relief that Will was going to be Okay.

He walked down the bleach-white halls of the hospital towards the waiting room and vending machines. Harvey waved at him from the nurse’s station and Sebastian stopped.

“Looks like its all okay here now,” the Harvey said, nodding a head back to William’s room. “They’re going to bring an addiction counselor come follow up with him tomorrow.”

Sebastian let out a breath.

This was messed up and he wasn’t going to forgive Harvey for this.

“He’s still pretty angry,” Sebastian warned, sticking his hands into his hoodie pocket. He liked the doctor and wasn’t used to being at odds with him, but this? It was fucked up.

Harvey’s face was calm. “Having some pain relief while in acute pain is not going to automatically initiate an opioid dependency, Sebastian. And as we told you earlier, the heartrate problem is a lot more severe. I’d rather him be alive and angry. He’s not broken sobriety by getting treated. I’m sure the counselor will put his mind at ease.”

Sebastian shook his head. The Doc just didn’t get the way William’s mind was working. The nurses at the station glanced over from their charts, as if this was the most exciting thing they’d heard all day. It kicked up Sebastian’s anxiety. Still, he opened his mouth, intending to try one more time when Harvey clapped him on the shoulder effectively cutting him off.

“He’s stable, Sebastian. And you’re not next of kin, so you legally can’t get a say. I’m sorry.”

The doctor passed him, heading towards the exit.

“Wait, you’re just going to leave him?”

Harvey waved at the room. “I’m less than 15 minutes away. If they need me, they’ll page me. But it’s 1 in the morning. He’s going to have 24 hours care until discharge tomorrow. You should consider coming back to town.”

The idea of leaving William alone in that room made his skin crawl. He shook his head, eyes focused on the clean tile.

“No, I’m good. I called Mom and she knows what’s up. Thanks Harvey.”

The doctor nodded, yawned and headed away from the vending machines and towards the elevator.

Sebastian swallowed back his frustration then continued his quest for the vending machine.

He’d never seen Will panic before and he felt like he could happily go pretty far in life never seeing it again. Now that he wasn’t IN the room, not the focus of Will’s blue eyes, he thought maybe he could have a bit of a fear reaction of his own. The last thing in the world he’d been expecting tonight had been Will in that bed, bleeding.

Actually, if he was being honest with himself, he’d THOUGHT was going to be in that bed with him. The irritation he felt at Will’s timing was…in a word…immense.

Sebastian slowed when he turned the corner to the vending machine because someone else was there, blocking the selection. It was a well-dressed man of medium height holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand and his cell phone against his ear. He reminded Sebastian of the beautiful models that graced the covers of different clothing lines. His skin was a deep brown and his complexion was smooth. He had his hair shaved into a fade, the top of his head barely covered in fuzz.

Even his voice was musical despite how irritated he sounded on the phone.

“—Roy baby, I know, but they’re family friends and I’m not going to just stay at a dinner when they need me.”

Sebastian looked around them but the hall was deserted. He bit his lip and waited as the man fed coins into the machine. He didn’t want to eavesdrop but he didn’t have much of a choice.

“You’re being paranoid, baby,” the man said, making a selection, “and if I had told you that it was an emergency call for anyone else, you wouldn’t be throwing a little diva hissy fit.”

Sebastian watched him choose a drink and then heard it fall in the machine…only to see nothing come out.

“Ugh, stupid cheap hospital vending machines,” the man tried to juggle the phone and the flowers to reach for it, “Roy, baby, I love you boo, but this just isn’t a good time right now.”

Sebastian hesitated then stepped forward and mimed pointing to the open space in the machine. The man mimed pressing his hands together in gratitude then something that was said on the phone made him cut his eyes to the side. Sebastian reached into the machine and wiggled the opening around a little.

“Yes,” he paused, “yes,” he paused and crossed his arm over his chest, “yes,” scowled, irritation free from his voice even though his face was a storm cloud, “I know.” The man ran his fingers over his scalp and looked at the ceiling, “No. Yes. Okay. Okay. OKAY, Baby. I’m hanging up now and turning off the cell. Bye.”

Sebastian felt the cold drink on the tips of his fingers just as the stranger shut the phone off. There was a clatter of aluminum on steel and he brought the drink up so the man could see.

“You,” the stranger said, “are legitimately my hero right now. Thank you, hon.”

Sebastian shrugged.

“No problem.”

The man smiled then looked down at his phone, brows furrowed. “Honey, stay away from domineering men. They are NOTHING but trouble.”

Sebastian felt the laugh bark out of him and he pulled coins out of his pocket, remembering the first time he’d ever seen Will, all golden and furious. Domineering? Only always.

“Unfortunately for me, it’s a little late for that.”

He tensed as soon as he said the words and glanced over at the stranger. But the man just grinned a conspirator’s grin, as if to say, ‘I see you’.

“Get it, youngblood!” he crowed, winking, “you get it! They are always so attractive the first run through but then their asses put you through hell.”

Sebastian flushed, but the stranger’s words hit close to home. He changed the subject and fed coins into the machine.

“Well, no one goes to the hospital if someone hasn’t messed up.”

“Truth,” the man said, “oh, I’m Nurse Practitioner Baker, by the way. Visiting from another hospital as a favor.”

Sebastian felt impressed. The guy didn’t look that much older than he was. He accepted the handshake and said, “Sebastian. Nice to meet you, Mr. Baker.”

NP Baker’s hand was warm and solid. He had long fingers and square, clean nails. He wore an engagement ring on his hand and Sebastian raised an eyebrow at it. It was a large diamond with sever chips of little diamonds three deep around it.

“At least the domineering man has good money,” he said nodding.

This caused another peel of laughter from the stranger. Sebastian flushed and scooped out the sodas he’d bought from the machine.

“True that, Sebastian. True that. Anyway, I have to get going, but thank you, again, for my rescue. I owe you one.”

Sebastian watched as the man turned back towards the waiting room and he turned back towards William’s room. Was it because he’d just come out that he suddenly recognized other gay men everywhere? Or just a coincidence? He let out a breath and looked down at the sodas, then back down the empty hall. Then at the ceiling.

He closed his eyes for a moment and just remembered, remembered Will’s face as he’d been restrained. He’d been like an animal with a paw caught in a trap, hurting itself even though that wouldn’t get him free. He opened his eyes and straightened his shoulders.

Doc Harvey was right. A little bit of medication wasn’t going to suddenly see him falling down the rabbithole of heroin addiction again. He has broken ribs, for god’s sake and anyone would have healed better with appropriate medication. It was going to be okay. He’d make him see that.

Sebastian turned and went back to the room in the quiet hospital ward, passing the nurses station. He stopped at the door with the sudden realization that Will wasn’t alone.

There were two well-dressed, middle-aged people standing next to Will in the hospital room. A big, bearded, man with greying hair was standing on one side of Will’s bed, a petite and fragile woman at his side. William was holding the woman’s hand while she looked exasperated with him. The man looked up at Sebastian realized he had William’s piercing blue eyes.

“Bastian,” Will said, rescuing him from the awkwardness, “you’re a life saver babe, thanks.”

“Babe?” the older man said, his rumbling voice a near match of Will’s deep basso.

William tried to push himself up but the woman tutted at him and hit a button on his hospital bed that raised him instead.

“Honestly, William, if there was a path with a door and a brick wall, you’d go through the wall out of pure hardheadedness.”

He flashed a grin at her, that charming, melt your pants off smile that Sebastian had fallen for the first time. His mom didn’t seem impressed. Sebastian felt a little off balance. Will was smiling, laughing and joking. He was still tired and dirty, but he looked nothing like the broken creature he’d left in here less than 10 minutes ago. What had happened?

“But Ma, I’ve got you around to think for me. Who needs a brain?” She rolled her eyes and Will reached over and kissed the top of her hand.

“Anyway,” he reached and beckoning hand out and Sebastian crossed over, grateful for the anchor.

“Ma,” Will said, “Dad, I hate the circumstances, but I want you to meet my boyfriend Sebastian.”

His dad’s brows climbed and William’s mom’s face softened.

“Oh, oh dear. Oh so you’re the one who got our William to the hospital?”

Sebastian felt his face flushing and shrugged, nodding, unable to meet the kindly woman’s eyes. He felt so on the spot with the attention they were both paying him. Will’s mom was a little older than own. Her hair was an icy-blond, lighter with several strings of white and grey lacing through. Yet it didn’t diminish her appearance. Her skin was clear and her eyes were smeared as if she’d been at a party of some sort and not had time to wash off her face. William’s golden hue—that matched his dad’s coloring.

“Yes ma’am,” he said, forcing down the panic of what a poor impression he had to be making. He had been working on a construction site all day. He was sleep deprived and also??? It wasn’t like he and William had actually settled any of the issues between them…boyfriend was a strong label after all they’d just been through. Still, knowing Will wasn’t hiding it…it felt right.

“Mighty grateful to you, Sebastian,” the bigger man said. Then he hesitated before saying, “Angie, maybe we’d better…”

But before he could finish Sebastian saw William’s cheerful façade melt away, his eyes locked on the open doorway.

Sebastian turned and saw NP Baker standing in the door, the bouquet in his hand like a peace offering.

“Well aren’t you a hot mess, William,” the man tutted out disapproved and came into the room, a fist on his hip. “They leave you alone for three months and you just can’t manage to stay out of your favorite hotel room.”

“Cam.”

The word looked as though it cost Will something to say. Sebastian frowned and looked between the two.

“Oh look at you,” Cameron said with a sigh, starting to put the flowers into a cup he’d brought it, “always so rude.”

He turned that blinding white smile back on Sebastian.

“Hi! I’m Cameron. William’s ex.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are amazing!
> 
> I appreciate every kudo, bookmark and comment.  
> Especially comments because I am a black void of need for validation haha.
> 
> Thank you for hanging out with this story for so long! I love y'all and you make it worth it.
> 
> Next update is scheduled for Saturday, October 7th, 2017 between 8-10pm CST.


	31. Daytime Talkshow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences._  
>  \- Robert Green Ingersoll

William didn’t know anyone who wanted to live through a daytime talk show episode. Sure, those sorts of train wrecks were entertaining to watch when you were stuck in a rehab rec room, but it wasn’t on his bucket list. Yet as always, he would have been disappointed if the universe actually gave a shit about what he wanted in life.

_Today on_ The William Bauer Show, “ _My parents kept my Ex in the Divorce_.” Cue applause track.

William let out a breath and tried, against the remnants of the pain meds, to say something diplomatic. Something that would ease the tension. Something a mature adult might say when in such an awkward situation.

“Who the fuck invited your ass here?”

His mother gasped and he didn’t even flinch at her outrage. Damn, what the fuck had they put in his IV? It was like he had no filter. Then he snickered. Oh yeah, that had been missing since birth.

Cameron, he realized with disgust, looked perfect. He wore a beige suit with a subdued grey tie that gave him an aura of elegant authority. He was clean-shaven, his hair buzzed so short he was nearly bald. He wore a silver wristwatch, which probably cost more than William’s pump system, a diamond stud in his ear, and a patient expression on his face.

Groomed. Poised. Attentive.

Like William hadn’t ruined him at all.

“I was trying to tell you,” Will’s dad said, sounding worn, “Cam was with us when the hospital called. We came up together.”

“It’s not your fault, David,” Cameron said, his tone appeasing, “William has had a hard day.”

Sebastian, silent this entire time, finally shifted in his chair. William immediately felt like fifty shades of asshole.

“Cameron, meet Sebastian. Sebastian, my parent’s favorite second child, Cam.”

Cameron’s shoulders tightened but he didn’t stop arranging the damn flowers, his eyes meeting Sebastian’s with a nod. His mom threw her hands up, frustration in every line of her face.

“William! Honestly!” his mother snapped, “we left a benefit to drive all the way down here in Cameron’s car, in the middle of the night because YOU were spelunking!”

William lowered his brows, his mom’s temper sparking his own, but his words died in his throat when he saw his father’s narrowed eyes. That look was a warning and a promise. He closed and opened his fists in stymied aggression. His mom, oblivious to the strain she was putting on his self-control, crossed over the stand next to Cameron.

“Will,” Sebastian said softly, “I’m heading out.”

They all looked over at him and William’s heart sank. He was satisfied, at the very least, to see his Mom’s aggression fade in the realization that they’d been misbehaving in front of Company.

Sebastian’s face was unreadable. William felt another burst of frustration and bit back any words to ask him to stay. This was more than he’d anticipated and Sebastian had already gone above and beyond. He wanted to apologize, wanted to make up for being such an asshole. Then he saw Cameron observing him and closed his mouth on it. Sebastian stood up, his hand reaching down to squeeze William’s fingers.

“It was nice to meet you both,” he said, his soft voice sincere.

William looked away, guilt rising up in his stomach. This was a fucked up reunion. His ribs throbbed helpfully to remind him that it was also, all his own fault.

Sebastian stilled, locking onto William’s face. He could only imagine the thoughts of recrimination he was biting back. Something shifted in Sebastian’s eyes, hardening with a resolve William couldn’t understand.

“I’ll come take you home tomorrow, okay?” He leaned forward, brushing a firm kiss on his cheek, hands on the metal frames next to the bed.

_He would?_

“Sorry,” he whispered into Will’s ear, “but it’s too much. Tomorrow.”

William felt dazed and he nodded, his tongue too thick in his mouth to say what he wanted…needed to say. But there were too many eyes and Sebastian was doing better than William had a right to expect.

“Night,” William whispered.

Sebastian didn’t smile and his shoulders were stiff, but he did give a nod to Cameron as he stepped out, as if acknowledging and dismissing him within the same gesture.

William sank back into his pillow and let out a small sigh.

Well. That could have gone worse.

“Well,” Cameron said, leaning against the wall, “he seems nice.”

William groaned and rubbed his face.

“He does seem nice, William,” his mother said softly, looking at least a little regretful, “we would never have intentionally tried to make him uncomfortable. Only, you know, Cameron is a nurse. I thought he could help us understand what had happened.”

“Oh, it’s easy,” he said off-handily, “I just ruined my sobriety. No big deal. Just back to Day f---” William stilled the curse with a sharp look from his mom, “—freaking zero.”

Cameron pushed off the wall and walked over to the stand of hanging bags. His voice, previously casual became more professional.

“William, did you tell them your medical history?”

He so did not want to do this right now.

“I was unconscious when I got here. What do you think?”

Cameron made a face. “Relax, William, I’m not the bad guy here.”

He opened his mouth to retort but his mom squeeze his hand and he let out his breath in a huff.

“I’m really tired, guys. Maybe we could do this tomorrow?”

Cameron skimmed the labels on the medications. “In a minute. Have your scans come back?”

William frowned. “I, uh, don’t know.”

“Angie, come with me. Let’s go hunt down the doctor on call and get a report on his scans.”

“It’s just some busted ribs. I’ve had worse.”

Cameron’s voice remained smooth, his face a mask against whatever the hell he was really feeling. Which was just par for the damn course with him.

“William, your ribs are connected with your spine. A spine that you barely healed two years ago. We want to make sure that they snapped in a way that isn’t going to exacerbate your chronic pain.”

“Because if I’m hurting again, I’ll start using, eh?”

Cameron’s eyes narrowed and in a cool voice replied, “You said it, baby. Not me.”

“Fuck off, Cam. Mom! I don’t care if you guys like this motherfucker but I want him OUT.”

He pushed himself up, the rage overtaking the pain. His dad’s meaty hand held his weaken body still but William felt spittle gathering on his lips.

“William, son, calm…” his dad said. Cameron flinched at the yell, his fists clenched and his face pale against William’s anger, yet again succeeding in making him feel even more guilty but the guilt was a small battle to fight compared to his outrage of Cameron’s interference in his life one more time.

“Angie,” his dad said, his tone gentle, “Why don’t you two go on. Will and I are going to chat. Close the door.”

Angie, unaffected by her son’s temper tantrum glared back. He knew it was a mistake to rile his mom up on this. Too much had passed. Too many things unspoken from before. But he didn’t care and was absurdly grateful that Sebastian HAD left. He wouldn’t have wanted him to see this.

He sank back into the pillows as the door closed. Some damn hospital. His monitors were going off like fireworks but not a single nurse came to check on him.

He snorted and then sank back, the pain rolling up through his ribs and…as loathe as he was to admit it, his back.

His dad waited for a minute then sighed, sinking into a chair next to him.

“Your mom is scared, Will. You have to understand how scared she is.”

“You two shouldn’t have brought him.”

His dad shrugged.

“An oversight.”

Will cut his eyes sideways but his dad’s face was placid, calm in the face of his son’s rage. It was hard to maintain the inferno that was complex and blended with previous mistakes and current frustrations.

“When we got the call,” his dad said softly, “we were at a benefit for survivors of narcotic addiction. There had been a speech your Mom gave. It was a shock.”

“Cameron just happened to be there?” he sniped.

“Cameron was there when you weren’t son. He’s always been good at that sort of thing.”

It hurt worse than a slap. William closed his eyes and leaned back into the pillows.

“I wish you two would keep him out of things involving me.”

“And I wish you would stay out of trouble, boy. But it looks like the world is an unfair and cruel place.”

William didn’t speak.

“We didn’t know about Sebastian. If we’d known, we would never have let him come with us. You know that we would never do anything to hurt you.”

William grunted, the bleed of aggression making way to a slow and tired languid feeling that was drawing him down into sleep whether he wanted to or not.

“I didn’t ask for the drugs,” he said in a small voice, not expecting to be believed, “Dad, I’m sorry.”

His dad’s hand was firm and warm, almost bigger than his own hand.

“You have nothing to apologize for. Rest.”

William felt like a child, for a moment, his dad’s bigger hand wrapped around his own as he let sleep, finally, take him out of the place where there was only guilt, remorse, and pain.

*

Sebastian’s hands shook as he flicked his lighter. Once. Twice. Finally, on the last click, he got a flame. He held it cupped to his cigarette and felt some of his tension ease with his exhale. His mind was scrambled, his skin itched from sweat and exhaustion. Sebastian took a minute, standing in the opening of the hospital next to a large ashtray. He was bathed in glowing ‘Emergency Room’ light. It gave the dark ground a red haze, red like the bloody knuckles he’d had his lips on less than an hour ago.

He finished the cigarette, ground it out into the ashtray and lit another one.  Then he shoved his other hand in his pocket and started through the parking lot to his mom’s truck.

William was going to be okay.

It was the priority thought- the beginning of his processing. No matter how much he’d scared him from the mines, he was, at the heart of the matter, going to be Okay.

As soon as he acknowledged that, took it in as truth, his anger and frustration swirled and roiled within him. He slammed ripped opened the door of the car with a jerk, his head pounding out currents of his internal storm of outrage and terror that was coated with the chilling knowledge of just how deep his own feelings were about the complicated asshole.

He bit onto the filter, started the truck and turned out, peeling out of the hospital parking lot.

He pulled his cell phone out and dialed Sam as he kept the filter of his cigarette pinched by his lips.

Sam, thank god, answered on the second ring.

“Dude, do you have any idea what fucking time it is?”

Sebastian rolled the window down. His mom was going to bitch him out for smoking in her truck but at the moment, he didn’t care.

“It’s O’Shit-thirty. Sorry dude. Having a bad night. You want to go back to sleep?”

He could hear familiar movement in Sam’s room. Hell, he’d probably spent just as much time there growing up as he’d ever spent at home. Sebastian shoved the truck into a higher gear and merged onto the highway, point the truck home. He was going to owe his mom hella gas money after this was all said and done.

“Why aren’t you like, obsessively typing or something?” Sam asked.

“Because,” he blew smoke out of his nose, “Will is in the hospital. He collapsed a few hours ago and I am driving home right now.”

“Whooa….damn. Shit man.”

“Yeah. Shit.” Sebastian said. He leaned back, his phone against his shoulder as he took another calming inhale on his smoke.

“You okay?”

Sebastian squeezed the wheel and glared forward, Sam’s calm breathing centering him as he rolled the question through his mind. The cigarette nearly died and he shifted his hands, maneuvering out a third cigarette to light. He tossed the dead one out of the open window and then admitted, “I’m pissed.”

More silence. Sebastian settled into it, letting the sounds of the wind blowing through the window try and sweep out his cluttered thoughts. Sam didn’t complain even though he knew it had to be hard to hear him with the window open. The road was practically empty this late at night, only delivery trucks out so late.

“Why?”

Sebastian immediately felt guilty at the question. Why? Why _was_ he pissed? He was fine. He didn’t have broken ribs. He didn’t have someone breaking his long sober streak with terrifying ease. He wasn’t scared and alone in a hospital bed with the judgment of his family for company.

“He’s an idiot and he’s going to get himself killed with his goddamned death wish,” Sebastian said, hitting the accelerator. It would still be another half an hour before he got home but with the empty road and the stars in the sky, he hungered for the speed. He wished he could have come home on his bike. It wouldn’t have let him talk to Sam but it would have done wonders to clear out his brain. But here he was, leaning on Sam again, unable to just process it. Why was he pissed? Because it was all so scarily outside of his control.

“Dude, it’s late,” Sebastian said, flicking out his spent cigarette out the window.

“Nah man, you need me, I’m here. No questions asked.”

Smiled then, relieved. He rolled the car window up and the cab of the truck felt like it had been closed out from the world. He relaxed a bit into the illusion of safety.

“So. William has a death wish huh. Catch me up. How did you go from Persona Non-Grata after that disaster of a flower dance to driving him to the hospital?”

Sebastian groaned and felt another wave of irritation waring with his exhaustion.

“Yeah about that,” he muttered, “apparently we’re dating now.”

He thought he heard skin hitting skin. Sam face-palming?

“You cannot be for real right now.”

“That’s what Will told his parents.”

“His PARENTS were there?”

“Oh yeah,” Sebastian said, adding a cherry, “and his ex-boyfriend.”

“Good god, what is this, reality television?”

Sebastian began laughing, then couldn’t stop. It was so ridiculous and messy. He laughed for several minutes and shook his head, eyes focused on the road, getting himself under control. Then again, it was William. When had anything ever been clean and logical with him?

Sam shifted on the phone and finally said, “Dude, is this big bastard worth it? I mean. I know you felt bad about how the dance went down. But. Do you need him? Your parents know you’re out. You got your business. He’s obviously a bucket full of issues on his side. But you man? You’re not like, required to put up with it.”

Sebastian blew out a breath, and absently rubbed at the side of his face. His eyes were leaking from being so tired. He’d worked a full day in the sun today. He’d waited to get Will alone, wanted to have a fucking normal conversation…and then Will had gone and gotten his body broken.

“It’s late,” he said.

“Right. Okay man. Text me when you get in?”

“Yeah. Um, hey, and Sam?”

“Yeah, man?”

“Thanks.”

He hung up the phone, eyes glued to the road. He lit another cigarette and rolled the window back down.

Was it worth it?

He inhaled smoke and let the taste of it settle on his tongue. He couldn’t get the desperation out of his head, the way Will had sounded, keening and broken sounds. He’d been like that on the docks, his eyes full of frantic, haunted pain from what he’d seen and done. Why couldn’t other people see it as clearly as he could?

Sebastian had noticed the cracks. It was there when he first met him, that first night.

He’d looked down into Will’s desperate face, had heard his words and felt the way his fingers had dug into him as they’d moved together. He’d wanted to comfort him then; had kissed him, trying to push himself so deep inside that he could fill the void he saw. That first night…they’d gotten off, but it had been about more.

The second time…as frantic and hungry as they’d been, William had slept then too.

William always slept after they’d been together. Was it because only after someone held him close he could relax enough to rest?

He flicked the cigarette to side, letting the wind take the ashes off the glowing red tip.

And the last night?

The last night he’d fucking shattered in his arms.

His brain helpfully shuttered in more images, memories in his grey-matter hard drive pulled up by his meandering thoughts. When he’d come back into the hospital room, William was sitting up, smiling through the pain, eyes crinkled in a laugh when less than ten minutes ago he’d been a wan ghost of his normal vibrancy.

A lie.

Everything about his attitude. His blustering. His sarcasm…it was all a lie to hide how broken and fragile he was underneath it all. He narrowed his eyes. Before, the terror of his own secret, his shame at WHAT he was, had been like a pair of dark glasses in the middle of the night. It was gone. But he wasn’t holding that in anymore and all of William’s halo of overly masculine divinity just faded to reveal exactly what he was too scared of anyone seeing.

A broken, scared man who was barely holding it together.

_But do you need that?_

He didn’t NEED William. It had been one thing when he was looking for that acceptance; when he’d been hoping for connection. But he was out now. He could go trawl a club and find someone else. He could go online and date now. Hell, safely even.

He squeezed his hands on the wheel, then let out a breath. He reached a hand into his pocket. Not his hoodie where he kept a lighter and his smokes, but his jeans, where the cool stone of the frozen tear had remained since William had dropped it into his hands that evening. The stone he’d brought him back through that mine, even though they’d been angry. Even though Sebastian had hurt him first.

He thought about Will with Elliott, with his smooth manner and nice clothes. Elliott and Cameron would get along, he decided. They were of a type. They were confident and knew what to say. When he’d seen Will flirt with Elliott at the dance, it had scrambled him, ruined his logical decisions. He’d wanted to drag Will off into the woods then, wanted to make him remember that HE’D been the one to see his darkness. He’d been the one to hold him while tears soaked his shirt.

Need? No. WANT. He wanted him badly. Even now, he felt guilty for leaving him…but he knew with a bone-deep certainty that he wasn’t any good to him this way.

He smoked and thought.

When the cigarette died, he lit a new one, letting the smoke and wind take out the anxiety, the messy fears and pain and it all boiled down into one pearl of ironclad understanding.

Not this time.

No matter what William thought, no matter what anyone had said, he couldn’t do it alone. He wasn’t an island that could just endure his storms and come out whole on the other side of it.

And without that meeting, weeks ago…without Will’s care, he wouldn’t have been able to be what he was today.

He flicked the cherry off the cigarette and threw it out onto the highway that fled below him.

He had meant it this morning when he said he was going to fight for it. He hoped Will had been paying attention.

*

Sleep in a hospital was impossible. Anyone who’d ever tried it could tell you that it was easier to sleep through a hurricane in a rowboat than getting any uninterrupted rest with the nurses constantly coming to and fro.

After arguments to the contrary, his parents had agreed to call a cab and get a room in a motel across the street.

Leaving Cameron to sit, quietly, his eyes half closed in a chair as far across the room as he could get.

Three times nurses had come in to get his vitals. Each time they’d caused him to tense up and shift, jarred from whatever stillness he’d almost sunk into.

Cameron didn’t speak to him and the silence was driving him nuts. The last time he’d seen him had been almost 9 months ago after they’d tried, disastrously, to attempt friendship. Finally, just as four am crept its way into the room, after his most recent nurse closing the door softly behind her, William spoke.

“Mom said you come over a lot.”

Cameron opened his eyes, brow relaxed. He covered his mouth and yawned and William realized he’d been in a state of near-doze too. It reminded him of the times just like this when Cam had kept vigil over his healing body. Too many damn times.

“Angie and David are good people,” he said.

William bristled to hear Cameron call them by their names so familiarly. But then, he’d always had a way about that. An ability to familiarize himself with whatever environment that he’d been in.

“They are.”

Cameron frowned.

“You know William, you’re a good person too. You just had an accident, is all.”

“I thought I was a hot mess.”

He smiled, amused. “Well, that goes without saying.”

William grumbled and shifted, immediately regretting it. In the past, the grunt would bring him running, long fingers stroking his head as soft lips soothed. Instead, Cameron looked away, his thumb absently rolling a ring around on his finger.

“You get engaged? Find someone who wants to be suffocated by your arrogant ass?”

Cameron stiffened and stopped playing with the ring.

“Yes, William. You have a boyfriend now too, so it looks like we both moved on.”

“Marriage is a big step, Cam,” he drawled. “If he messes up are you going to throw all his stuff out of your third-floor window too? I hear divorce makes it really difficult to just kick a guy out.”

Cameron rolled his eyes. “You are the prickliest cactus fruit, Sergeant Bauer. Unlike you, Roy would never take my prescription pad and write it for false drugs. You almost lost me my LICENSE, William. Do you not think that stealing has consequences?”

Then he spread his hands out, “Yet! Because your parents are walking angels, I am here, so they don’t have to listen to you. Get it through your skull, Will. I didn’t drive all this way because I wanted to make your experience worse. That is your department.”

“You’re right,” he snapped back, the argument old and familiar. “How about I remember how you tried to turn Mom and Dad against me? I was homeless for almost six months!”

Cameron narrowed his eyes and William remembered that old rush of aggressiveness that flooded through him at that look. He tensed, waiting for the verbal slap back, almost craving it like he did in the old days. Cam would volley back that he was homeless from his constant drug seeking. He would throw back that Cameron had enabled him to make him that way. He wasn’t sure what would come next. Cameron had always been talented at making sure his verbal digs stuck. Then to his ridiculous disappointment, Cameron’s eyes filled with pity.

“You just can’t do this without fighting, can you? You can’t have any relationship without driving someone batshit crazy.” He stood and William glared at him, contained as he was to the bed. Cameron put his hand into his pocket and fished out some coins before giving him another of those maddeningly pitying looks.

“You weren’t the only one who needed therapy after we broke up you know.”

William looked away.

“You broke my trust William,” Cam said, “and you stole from me. If we were going to be keeping a tally of who hurt who, you would win that particular trophy hands down.”

What was he doing?

He knew it was stupid to pull up old bullshit like this. KNEW that there was no point in dredging up the past. Yet up it came, like sewage from the gutter. Because inside, that was all he really way.

“I was never going to be who you wanted me to be, Cameron,” William said, closing his eyes. He’d planned on pissing him off into yelling then leaving. Into just getting out of the room so he didn’t have to remember all the times they’d been good together. So he didn’t have to remember all the shame he still had when it came to the past.

“You never tried, Will.”

He laughed softly because of course Cameron, who had always succeed at every challenge, who had overcome his shitty parents, been first in his class, had been the head nurse and a commanding officer in the MASH unit would think that. That anyone who didn’t succeed was just a person who hadn’t tried.

“Go talk a walk, Cam. I’m too tired to do this with you right now.”

He didn’t look at him. Didn’t want to see his sympathy. Didn’t want to see his pity and his compassion. He couldn’t take the kindness that he knew he didn’t deserve.

Cameron sighed, “I’m sorry.” He closed the door behind him as he left.

William slowed his breathing and relaxed, looking up at the tile. Not as sorry as he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, who leaves kudos, bookmarks and comments on Cloudburst! I am so lucky that I've gotten so much support from my readers. You guys really make this all worth it. :D
> 
> I update on Wednesday and Saturdays between 8-10pm CST!


	32. Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FIRST OF ALL
> 
> Some graphic sexual context. Please read with caution.
> 
> Also, I recommend listening to [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1P0VSHthVw) when you get to William's POV in this chapter. It was a heavy inspiration for the tone of the conversation.
> 
> Thank you to all readers! As always, blanket warning that these chapters have no beta. Feedback is food y'all. <3

Sebastian thought about when he’d given his first blowjob on his way to spring Will from the hospital. A song that he’d remembered from high school came on the radio and it was like being transported back in time.

He’d been at a school game. Despite everything, grid ball games were the best reason for a country kid to leave home for a Friday night out. Abby and Sam didn’t have a choice, what with being in the band. So despite how much he hated the game, he’d tag along, and wait for it to be over. Usually, they’d crash a bonfire or someone’s after party, sneaking beers and laughs. Sebastian had a lot of high school memories of hanging out under the bleachers, swapping cigarettes and chilling with stoners.

It all changed when Sebastian had discovered _Kruisin_. It was an app that connected gay men by geography. He’d thought it was funny, that people might actually use something to be so honest about who they were and what they wanted. Then, when Sam had taunted him about being too chicken shit for a hookup, Sebastian had caved. He’d used a fake name and picture to hide his identity. He and Sam had skimmed the offerings until he started getting unsolicited dick pics.

He still chuckled when he’d seen Sam’s nose wrinkle in horror at the first one. Sebastian had laughed, taunting him being phobic of peen. It was enough and Sam had tapped out, shaking his head.

Yet, despite the weirdness of having something so incriminating on his phone, Seb couldn’t help himself. He kept it. He never sent pics. He rarely talked to anyone, but at night, when he was alone, he’d scroll through profiles, just basking in the fact that he wasn’t alone.

So it wasn’t so much a surprise as it was unexpected when the app buzzed at alert at him. He froze, pulled out the phone and realized that whoever it was, they were at the game too. He messaged the guy on a lark, figuring there was no way anyone else was looking for that sort of thing. That it would be a joke. Yet it wasn’t.

They’d met underneath the bleachers of the away team, hidden by a banner. Sebastian’s heart was on a drumroll, tapping out terror and excitement with every beat. The stranger was cute. He had curly black hair, rich dark skin and kind eyes that were very expressive. Sebastian’s mom had wanted him to wait for ‘the right one’, but he was pretty sure there was no such thing as Gay Prince Charming.

So he’d sucked the guy’s cock and felt the deepest sense of validation in his life.

Porn had made cock-sucking look violent and gross. Pornstars always slapped the people sucking them with their dick, made them take exaggerated postures as they slid in and out. His first time hadn’t been anything like that. He’d taken to cock like his first lollipop, gently and gradually harder before he had his first bitter, salty taste of cum. It had egged him on, turned him hard to hear the guy’s moans, to feel fingers along his scalp as he worked out the mechanics of tongue pressure, suction and movement. It was like tapping into a new level on a video game, he decided as the guy began to whimper, soft high sounds coming out of his throat.

It made Sebastian him eager to hear it, his pants uncomfortably tight when he realized with deep, satisfaction that HE was the one causing it.

Maybe after the guy had come on him, maybe they would have fucked for real, instead of the mutual jackoff that followed. But he’d turned his head to catch his breath after giving his first head…and saw those orange cones lining the field.

His hard-on had died, the memory of his teammate holding that cone while he was tied down…not a good headspace.

They’d parted on good terms, the other guy genial but not clingy. It had been impersonal yet, special. His first time. Probably, Sebastian reasoned, you always remembered your first time. And maybe, that had been the beginning of his kink for sex with strangers.

Sebastian pulled up to the hospital in Demetrius’s sedan, his mom needing her truck to finish the rest of Will’s house while he sprang him from the medical big house. He pulled a plastic bag out of the passenger seat when he got out. He’d followed his mom to the job site and collected fresh clothes out of the meticulously folded box that Will kept everything in. Finding his things was simple in his small room; everything was exactly where he always put it. Had he always been so meticulous? Sebastian found it weird for someone so reckless with his words and actions to care so very much for how his material possessions were arranged.

He got out and lit his first cigarette. If his Mom despised smoking in her car, Demetrius was murderous about it.

He wasn’t afraid that day, behind that bleacher.

Sebastian looked at the hospital, eyes narrow as he thought about what he planned to do that day. It wasn’t like him, he knew, to hunt down what he wanted. But William Bauer wasn’t a stranger anymore. He’d become something integral to him and fixing their problem was like going on a bug hunt in the development stage of what they were to each other.

Then again, he decided as he ground out the cig on his shoe and put the butt in his pocket, Will had called him Boyfriend first and if he hadn’t read the user agreement on that, well, wasn’t that just his fuck up?

He came into Will’s room, a bag of fresh clothes that he’d fetched that morning, braced to see the crowd from the night before. But he shouldn’t have bothered. Will was alone on the bed, sitting up and disconnected from all the monitoring and drips. Will his skimpy hospital gown was open and Sebastian finally got a good look at the large back piece he’d inked into the space between his neck and hips. It was a painting of falling firebombs on a meadow. Not a single bomb had hit the meadow yet, but in the background of green, fire had bloomed and smoke coiled. The grass of the field was green and spotted with flowers. It all seemed so idyllic. The creatures below had no concept of the hellfire about to rain down on them and were peaceful in their unawareness. It was a disturbing moment perfectly paused between destruction and tranquility.

Will was staring off into space when Sebastian entered, and Sebastian was gratified to see Will free of the IV. Sebastian crossed the room to see that he was staring a packet of discharge paperwork, on top of it a sheet of prescription paper with a printed list of medications. Sebastian put Will’s clothes on top of the script, breaking Will’s eye contact.

“You don’t have to fill it if you don’t want to,” Sebastian told him when Will’s head jerked up to stare at him.

He expected a greeting. Maybe that lazy-sexy smile to stretch across his lips. But Will looked guilty instead.

He wouldn’t meet Sebastian’s eyes, snagging the clothes and crossing to the bathroom. Sebastian tilted his head, admiring the curve of Will’s mind-scrambling ass. He filed the guilt to the side. Not the time right now. He looked around the room.

Cam’s flowers were still in their make-do vase, looking more elegant than anything had a right to while arranged in a plastic promotional cup; the hospital’s logo stamped on the side. He circled the room. Will’s trashcan was filled with the remains of breakfast take-out. One of the paper coffee cups had a smear of lipstick that matched the color his mom had worn the day before. He glanced over at the bathroom but the door was still shut.

So Will’s family had come already? Hmm. And now they were gone. He could only guess how that conversation had played out.

Sebastian sighed glancing down at the discharge papers. Will had a follow visit with a clinic scheduled for two weeks out, a list of emergency symptoms to watch out for and some numbers of doctors of…pain management clinics.

“Will?” He called.

“One minute Babe,” Will said, shifting in the bathroom. Sebastian skimmed through the rest of the chart and saw a list of diagnoses. All of them referenced herniated disks, a few fractures and….at least six back surgeries.

The door opened and he came out, self-assured grin on his face. It died when he saw what Sebastian was holding. He scowled and reached for the papers but Sebastian held it back before he could hide them.

“Why do the doctors think you need pain management?” How much _was_ he hurting?

“C’mon Sebastian, we don’t have to talk about this.”

Sebastian met his eyes and let his shoulders relax. It wasn’t the time nor place for this confrontation. He handed the packet to him. Will still wouldn’t meet his eyes, folding the papers into an envelope that was pinned to them. Sebastian knew, probably, he should back off of this. He’d never have pushed in the past.

_But then Will hadn’t nearly fallen down in a bloody heap in the past now, had he?_

“You said you were a heroin addict. Why would they give you narcotics?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m recovered.”

“Are you in pain?”

“Why,” he snarled, suddenly tense, “because you think if I am I’ll start using again too?”

Sebastian froze, unused to this. Unsure of what would be the wrong thing to say. He narrowed his eyes, and said carefully, “Who thinks you are going to start using again?”

Will didn’t answer, stuffing the envelope into his jeans. Sebastian expected fury. Fury and anger seemed to be Will-default mode. Instead, he’d just withdrawn, eyes unfocused. In a voice too even and calm, he said, “I’m ready to go back now.”

Sebastian bit the inside of his cheek before nodding, waving an arm. He’d lose this battle. But he wasn’t done. Not by a long shot.

“Alright.”

*

William stared at the car that Sebastian indicated. It was bright yellow with a bumper sticker on the back that said “Science! It works whether you believe in it or not!”

“Did you steal this from the circus?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes.

“Mom has her truck at your house. She’s finishing your reno. It should be almost done today.”

“Yeah but seriously. An Electric compact?”

“It’s Demetrius’s. He’s saving the world.”

William snorted, “Yeah, okay sure.”

Sebastian waited for a moment, pulling out a pack of cigarettes that was half-gone. He offered William and he grunted his thanks, accepting it. He liked that Sebastian smoked such full flavor tobacco. When he’d first met the guy, he’d figured they’d be menthols. Almost all emo-kids liked those damn minty cigs, but the dark flavor of Sebastian’s brand was etched into his mind as purely Sebastian. He didn’t know if he’d ever associate the bitter smoke with anything else.

They lit and exhaled. William didn’t know what to say. He froze when Sebastian leaned against him, in the parking lot, as if he didn’t care that people saw. It hurt his ribs but he was so damn hungry for any affection, he wasn’t going to let him know that. Relief melted a cold spot in his chest. The affection-something so hard to get from the guy- has never been expected. He accepted it, greedy, knowing at any time Sebastian would probably pull it away.

They stood, silent, his arm around Sebastian’s shoulder while Sebastian leaned on him.

“I’m playing a concert with Sam and Abby this weekend,” Sebastian said abruptly against his shoulder, turning his head to puff his smoke, “I want you to come watch.”

“Um,” he said, off balanced, “Yeah. Okay.”

Sebastian finished his cigarette and William was grateful for the little hit of nicotine. His back and chest were a ball of pain and fire. He needed to sit down, but the thought of asking Sebastian how much longer they’d be standing, to admit that sort of weakness, clawed at him more than he thought it would.

He was a filthy mess. The nurse had come in first thing that morning and sponged him off. His mom had fussed with his hair. He’d accepted her peace offering of coffee and they’d made nice. Finally, after convincing them for the fifth time in an hour that he was Fine and would call them later, they left.

At least he only had Sebastian to front now.

Sebastian let him go and they crawled into the tiny car.

“Does this thing even get up to 15 miles an hour?”

Sebastian laughed.

“Why does it not surprise me that you like to go fast? No, I think it peaks at 80. But the gas mileage is superb. Which is good since I am paying for it.”

“I’ll pay you back.”

“No Will.”

He scowled and waved a hand, “I caused some bullshit. I’ll pay you back.”

“No. It’s not necessary,” Sebastian said

William closed and opened his hands. He growled, “I’m not fucking broke, Sebastian. I can afford to cover the gas.”

“I’m _also_ not fucking broke. If my boyfriend gets his ass put in the hospital, I don’t want him to PAY me to go see him.”

William’s ribs hurt from how much he wanted to breathe hard.

Sebastian didn’t interrupt the silence. Just let it stretch like a piece of taffy until it sagged and began to stick.

“You’re mad,” William said softly, unable to look at Sebastian’s serious and cool expression. How could he just do it? Turn off all emoting? Just clam up like that?

“I’m. Furious.”

William tensed his shoulders up, waiting.

“Do you know why?” Sebastian asked him.

“I know he should have asked about it first,” he whispered.

Sebastian turned his head and frowned at him. “Asked me about what?”

William waved his hand behind him.

“Back there! You know, calling you…telling my parents that…introducing you as my boyfriend. That stuff.”

Sebastian barked out a dry laugh and shook his head.

“Try again, dumbass.”

William jerked his head at him, scowling.

“Wait, what? Is it because Cam was there? Look! I didn’t know that—”

“Will. Your mom seems nice but I am starting to wonder how hard she dropped you were born. NO stupid, I’m not mad about any of that shit. Jesus. Did you think what I said before you went to the mines meant nothing? God. I’m HAPPY about the boyfriend thing, okay? Fuck me, but you’re dense.”

William felt thunderstruck.

“Wait. And it’s not Cam?”

Sebastian leaned forward and groaned, lightly tapping his forehead the wheel of the car before straightening to glare at the road. His cheeks were flushed.

“No. OBVIOUSLY. You didn’t want him there. No one knew that apparently, but I am not blind.”

“Then…why are you mad?”

“Because. You. Got. Hurt. You. Fuckwit!” Sebastian slammed a hand onto the wheel to punctuate each word.

William’s ears burned.

“Ah.”

“Yes. You moron. ‘Ah’.”

William sighed and looked up at the top of the little car. His knees were bent at a ridiculous angle and his chair was as far back as it could go.

Sebastian let out a slow breath.

“I’m pissed,” he said slowly, “that you were in such bad shape. I am more pissed when I realized that if I hadn’t decided to stay to finish your power hook up, you would have come home to NO ONE and Mom and I would have had to find you like that this morning.”

William crossed his arms. He hadn’t thought about that.

“Will,” Sebastian blew his bangs out of his face, “the last thing I wanted when I told you that I wasn’t giving up on us…was for you to give up on yourself.”

“That’s not exactly how it went down, Bastian, give me some credit.”

“Why? Since WHEN have you earned credit?” Sebastian cried, eyes wide, one hand thrown up in a helpless and frustrated gesture. “It’s not like you have been MORE careful since you started digging down there. If anything, you’ve been worse.”

William looked out the window, unable to face him. Because in a way, Sebastian was right.

“Just. Can you tell me WHY you aren’t at least a little more careful with yourself?”

William thought about shrugging. Which was how he’d probably answer anyone else. But Sebastian had come all this way to get him. He’d gotten him clean clothes, he’d tried to take care of him. People rarely tried to take care of him outside of his family.

He closed his eyes, rolling the question around in his head. Finally, he found an answer.

Softly, because the words were too tart and spikey in his mouth he said, “I wasn’t supposed to make it out alive, Sebastian.”

Sebastian misunderstood, he could tell immediately. Sebastian glared at him, so he hurried forward.

“Not from the fucking Mines, from Gotoro.”

His palms began to sweat but his motto was too burned into his mind. Head-on. He had to remember that problems were always easier when taken head-on. He was too close to that precipice of forgetting.

Sebastian stilled when William said ‘Gotoro’. He resolutely turned his head back towards the road.

William felt himself sweating again. The therapists had used some fancy ass word to describe it. Psycho-sematic symptoms. He just called it being a pansy-ass.

“Look,” he ground out, scooping each word up from the place where he kept this shit buried. “I got. Hurt. I got hurt when I uh…” why was this so hard? He glanced over but Sebastian was patient, his face back into that zenned-out mode he slipped into when he wasn’t ready to share his feelings. He blew out a breath and continued.

“I got hurt over there. In Gotoro. And I was the lucky one.”

Sebastian didn’t speak but slipped a hand down between them, and as much as a baby as it made him, William clutched the fingers, holding him.

“I’m listening,” Sebastian whispered, the only sound their shared breathing and the car’s electric whine as it thought-it-could, thought-it-could puttered up the road. William rubbed his face and rested his elbow on the door, hiding his eyes as he continued. The semi-darkness his hand provided was a comfort. He squeezed Sebastian’s hand gently then continued.

“All of the men in my unit died in the ambush. I had been trying to get us out. I don’t know why…I don’t know why I survived and they didn’t. I couldn’t walk at first…after. There was a lot of damage. And pain. There was,” he swallowed, “yeah, that shit sucked.”

Sebastian slowly nodded. “The pain pills led to the Heroin, didn’t they? That’s why you started using?”

He froze at the soft question. He looked through his fingers but Sebastian still had on the rock-steady face of someone watching paint dry instead of listening to William rip his fucking soul open for him.

Still, if he’d babbled over him, or tried to be sympathetic, he didn’t know that he would have continued.

“I shouldn’t have lived, don’t you see?” William whispered. “And what did I do with the opportunity, Bastian? I fucked it all up. I became trash. I should have just…died with them.”

Sebastian let out a long breath and to Will’s surprise, he could see a tear, one perfect tear, forming right in corner of Sebastian’s eye. He didn’t look like he was crying. Didn’t sound like it.

Sebastian absently rubbed the side of his cheek against his shoulder, wiping the tears away surreptitiously.

William looked away but Sebastian was still holding his hand.

They were quiet again but something had eased. He was expecting some sort of denial.

He was expecting Sebastian to tell him that of course, he shouldn’t have died. Was expecting to hear about how his men would have wanted him to keep going or some other saccharine bullshit.

“I’m glad you lived. Because I don’t know who I’d be if I didn’t have you. So. Sorry for the others. Sorry, Will, but…I’m glad.”

William sank back into his chair. His ribs hurt. His head hurt. He needed a shower and some real sleep instead of the interrupted dozes he’d gotten last night. He wanted rest.

Yet those words did something warm and soft to the jagged parts of himself.

“Look, I know you want to go home but, Mom is still probably working on it. Can I take you somewhere else?”

William cocked his head. “Um, sure. You’re driving the car.”

Sebastian nodded and William closed his eyes, the relief, and acceptance just enough to lull him into a light doze.

*

Sebastian had never come up the mountain path in a car before. The whole road was easier to navigate on his bike, but the car did its best taking the curves and steep track.

“You know,” Will said in the shadowy darkness of the woods they were driving underneath, “if I didn’t know any better, I’d say this is where you hid the bodies of stupid boyfriends.”

Sebastian laughed, unable to help it.

“Not quite. I haven’t had a lot of boyfriends before you.”

William looked at him sideways, surprised.

“Really? I mean. You weren’t exactly a virgin…where you?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes.

“Would it matter how many guys I have been with?”

“No. Don’t be stupid.”

“Then why are you asking?”

Will didn’t shrug. It probably hurt his ribs too much but the emotion was there. “Just curious. You don’t talk about it.”

“Well, to be fair,” he said, making the final turn, the car facing a cliff edge, “we’ve not had a lot of opportunities. What with breaking up and getting back together.”

Will sighed and flinched. Sebastian didn’t want him in pain, but also hoped the jab of his ribs would remind him not to be such an idiot in the future. He turned off the car and opened the door, stepping out.

It looked different in the daytime, and it wasn’t anything as beautiful as it was at night, but when he’d been white-knuckle following the ambulance the day before, he’d had the shattering thought that maybe he might never get a chance to show Will this place.

No time like the present.

William unfolded himself out of the compact and sighed, looking around.

“Dang. Big view.”

Sebastian nodded, looking at Will’s outline. He was scraggly, his cheeks that he usually kept tripped giving little fuzz above the sharp line of where he normally had his beard trimmed. His hair was pulled back into a top knot but the hair was split and greasy near his scalp. He thought it was the most authentic look Will had.

“Yeah. It’s better at night,” he said, pulling out the smokes. He lit one, started it then handed it to Will who nodded.

“I’ve been wanting to take you here,” Sebastian admitted, lighting another cigarette as he stepped towards the edge, looking out.

Will came up behind him and draped an arm over his shoulder. Sebastian thought it had to hurt to hold him like this and he shivered because Will was doing it anyway. As if the pain was nothing compared to not touching. Sebastian turned in Will’s arms, looked up, and pulled his head down.

Will tolerated the position for a moment, kissing him with slow and steady need. It was burning in his chest.

They’d not been together like this in weeks, Sebastian realized, when Will pulled away, rasping out pain and pleasure in the same breath.

“There…” Sebastian said, voice was shaking, “there was something else I wanted to do for you when we came here.”

William swallowed, his eyes half closed.

“Yeah? What?”

“You might not be up to it.”

“That a challenge?”

Sebastian bit his lip. But look at him like this, he couldn’t resist the urge.

“You can say no.”

Will rolled his eyes. “Bastian, out with it. What?”

Sebastian leaned up, his hands on Will’s shoulders, too afraid to risk the ribs. He pressed close and shivered as he felt Will’s beard, soft against his own bare cheek. Will turned his head, letting Sebastian whisper the words he’d been wanting to say since he’d gotten out of the car.

“Will. I want to give you head.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, for reading! 
> 
> Just a couple of notes.  
> First, I am officially trying to end this at around 50 chapters. With the caveat that my brain is a wild and fickle creature who rarely gives me what I want.
> 
> Also, I am going to take a week off posting between October 29th and November 4th to do some outlining, take a breather and celebrate an important holiday. Until then the 2-chapters-a-week schedule remains. Depending on what outlining decides, that could change.
> 
> Finally, I hope if you liked this you will consider leaving a comment, a kudo or giving a recommendation to a friend! The adventures of the Squatchgoblin ship has definitely taken on a life of it's own and I'm so glad when people want to share with me. 
> 
> Next update will be on October 14th between 8-10pm CST. It will be NSFW. Prepare accordingly.


	33. Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NEW TAG WARNINGS:  
> -Oral Sex  
> -Mild Breathplay  
> -Childhood Trauma
> 
> -  
> THIS IS A NSFW CHAPTER. THIS IS AN E RATED FIC AND THERE BE SEXYTIMES BELOW. READ WITH CAUTION

William wondered if he’d died in the mines and the last 24 hours had been a type of fever dream. It wouldn’t have surprised him to be in a dream. Except for maybe the pain. As much as he hated to acknowledge it, every breath was a throb. Every inhale gained him a protesting pang from his beaten ribs. Yet despite how sore he was, his traitorous cock hardened out of eagerness that was, really, just _so_ pathetic.

He shuddered in a blend of need/want as Sebastian’s arms rested behind his head, his words rocketing through William’s brain like electric nodes. He inhaled the blend of tobacco/soap that was pure heaven after being stuck in the damned hospital. Was he serious?

Sebastian’s hands were on his head now, hands interlocking into his hair, the long and slender fingers rubbing circles into his scalp. Surely, he was going to pull back now. Could he trust this as real?

“Aren’t you afraid I’m too hurt?” William asked, tightening his grip on the smaller man’s shoulders, his thumbs tracing his collarbone, following the lines to his throat.

Sebastian chuckled and looked up, that shock of black hair he hid behind so often slipping to the side so that he could meet William’s eyes.

“There is a bench right over there. You sit, lean back, relax, and I’ll do the rest.”

William turned his head to see that yes, in the shadows of a tree was a long stretch of wood held up by some cinderblocks. It looked cobbled together and unsteady.

“You think that twig across two stones is going to handle all this?” he teased, his fingers rubbing against Sebastian’s cheek. It was smooth and clean. At least one of them had had a shower today.

He shivered, suddenly conscious of himself.

It felt so out of character. Sebastian was usually so timid, so shy of their games. He’d asked for William to go slow before, been resistant until William had overpowered him with his aggressive advances.

“You can at least wait until I go home and catch a shower,” William told him. He closed his eyes against his own words, knowing that Sebastian would see sense as soon as he let them escape. He didn’t want to see him flinch. He didn’t want to see him feel rejected. But it would be for the best so that Sebastian could be sure.

He there was a shadow of sharp movement and William hissed as Sebastian pinched the shell of William’s ear, digging his nails into the flesh. The pain was sharper than the dull pounding in his chest, grounding and it pulled his mind out of the fog of exhaustion to the present.

“Did that mom of yours,” Sebastian said, his tone pleasant as he drew William with him back towards the shadowed bench, “teach you not to look a gift horse in the mouth?”

William surrendered. He wanted to protest but his heart wasn’t in it. A good man would try and preserve his partner from something like this. A stronger man might even manage to convince him to wait until he was presentable and worthy of what Sebastian was offering. He even, out of a sense of obligation, tried to form the words to explain that he didn’t want Sebastian touch him while he was this dirty, after he’d been infested with all of the medication. But William had stopped being a good man several years ago and any argument died in his throat.

William felt the bench hit the back of his knees and he sat. He could lean back, his shoulders resting on the tree that was directly behind the bench. It creaked as he sat, the wood squeaking, the stones rocking together. He glanced around but the bushes in the area made the corner of the lookout semi-private. The road had been so narrow, there would be no way anyone could sneak up on them without them noticing.

“Hey,” Sebastian said.

William pulled his gaze from their surroundings to focus on him. Sebastian was watching him with narrowed eyes before moving closer, and with his hands pressed on either side of William’s head, flat against the tree. He leaned closer and William let out a slow breath, his chest throbbing. Yet, even though it hurt, he wanted this. Needed to know that in this at least, he and Sebastian were on the same page.

He reached a hand up and fisted Sebastian’s hoodie, pulling his face down, and biting his bottom lip. He was rewarded by a groan and for a while, William lost himself in the kiss.

Each stroke of lips, of tongue, of breath across his mouth was a drop of primary ink into the black well of his thoughts. Reds, greens, and yellows that blended and swirled with sensation in his mind’s eye. Yet, Sebastian was so careful and William growled, wanting him closer, tighter, wanting their chests rising and falling in rhythm with each other. Yet when he tried, a flare of pain that took his breath stopped him. It was like trying to breathe through an iron cage.

“Shh,” Sebastian said into his ear, his amusement in the hush. “Lean back, Will. Lean back and let me do this for you.”

William closed his eyes as feather-light touches ran over his aching chest and down to his hips.

“Are you—” William swallowed, leaning back despite his doubts, “are you sure?”

Sebastian’s chuckle was dark and sensual as he gripped tighter on William’s hips.

“You let me worry about you just a little longer, okay? I have a feeling you’ll make this up to me.”

*

Will was, in a word, magnificent. He’d been larger than life when Sebastian had first met him at the Mirage. He was always towering over Sebastian, no matter where they went or who they were with. Too big to be believed while clutching a tiny basket during the egg festival and arrestingly intense when he was dancing with Elliott that stupid dance.

And in this moment, Sebastian was pleased to note, he was all his.

Will’s pants popped open with a pull on the button. Sebastian slid them down. The bench creaked under Will as he shifted and let his pants pool between his ankles. Will spread his knees and groaned when Sebastian turned his head, kissing Will’s right thigh. The stones rattled as Will relaxed and Sebastian took his time. He could sense Will’s tension in the way he was braced, both hands planted on either side of his legs, shoulders pressed into the tree. He let out shallow, unsteady breaths. The bench creaked again and Sebastian felt the sound run down his back, like fingers. He loved the effect he was having. Sebastian turned his head, kissing Will’s the left thigh, sucking on the sensitive skin.

“God, _Bastian_ ,” Will said, dropping his head down, his golden brown hair falling over his face. Sebastian pushed himself up on his knees and reached forward, pushing Will’s hair out of his eyes.

“I want you to watch,” he told him, fingers combing through the soft threads of Will’s beard.

Will stared, bit his lip, and then nodded, raising his chin up. One of the hands he had clutched into the bench rose to his face and he dug his fingers in, letting out a breath of pained desire as he raised the arms, and ergo, stretched his torso.

Satisfied that he was going to get the reaction he wanted, Sebastian bent back down, rubbing up Will’s thighs. They were thick with muscle, the skin covered in a light dusting of long hair. Will groaned, closing his eyes at the sensation. Sebastian smirked and then squeezed his legs.

“Eyes open, Will.”

 Will opened his eyes and Sebastian resumed his teasing.

“You want to kill me? Is that what you’re trying to do right now?” he rasped.

Sebastian grinned, then leaned down and gave the head of Will’s cock a long, lazy lick.

Will grit his teeth against a moan as Sebastian looked up at him, his hand wrapping around the shaft. It was a beautiful member, full and flushed with all the proof Sebastian needed that despite his hesitation, Will wanted this.

Sebastian tossed his bangs out of his eyes, lowered his head, and raised his brows. Their eyes locked as Sebastian fed Will’s cock into his mouth. So many different emotions crossed Will’s face. Pain and lust mingled with greed for what he was getting. Sebastian smirked and then began to bob his head, sheathing his teeth with his lips. He pressed his lips together on the down stroke and adding suction as he pulled up, letting his tongue drag down the big vein running on the side.

Will’s groan was all the fuel he needed to continue.

Will had wanted a shower, but all Sebastian could taste was musk and skin. He reached his fingers of his free hand up and ran them through Will’s golden pubic hair, rubbing circles as he let his hand work down to Will’s heavy balls. Then, Sebastian let his mouth widen, taking in the cock with hunger he’d needed to satisfy for weeks.

Soon, Will was slippery, slick from Sebastian’s mouth, and Sebastian ran his fist back and forth in time with his head, adding pressure and friction as he pumped him. Every upstroke, Will’s breathing increased and the hand that was on the bench tightened, knuckles white against the dark wood.

Sebastian settled in, finding a rhythm he could maintain for several minutes at a time. Eight to ten strokes and then he’d shift his weight, taking Will deeper into his mouth until he could hardly breathe. Then he would pull back, pumping his fist while he sucked and lathed the head.

Will was expressive, his groans low and basso, the bench punctuating the shift of his hips and the tension Sebastian built in him.

He loved this, Sebastian realized, his own cock hard in his pants. Sebastian loved the control he had. He loved how he could just listen to Will’s hissing breaths and periodic moans and then chase that reaction with tongue and hand to make it better than the last time. He craved the muscle spasms in Will’s thighs as his hips shuddered and bobbed from need. Every squeak from the bench was like a prod shoving him closer to what they both wanted.

He learned Will’s cock with every stroke. He was, Sebastian decided, average, as length went. That worked for him…if he’d been any longer, Sebastian wasn’t sure he could have swallowed him so totally. But his girth? That was where he became extraordinary. His jaw was starting to ache from how long he’d held it open, but he endured it, not yet ready to give Will his release. He wanted this moment etched in Will’s thoughts, the way he’d burned Sebastian.

“Can I touch your head,” Will asked, his eyes half closed as Sebastian came up for air. Yet he was still staring at him, unable to look away.

“Go for it,” he said, his throat sore from the head of Will’s cock rubbing against the back of it. He ducked his head back down, increasing his pressure and speed just a touch more.

One of Will’s hands released the bench and his strong fingers dug into Sebastian’s hair, the grip harder than Sebastian normally found pleasant. He breathed through his nose and swallowed deeper. Sebastian felt his eyes sting as Will held him still for a second longer than he was used to. He relaxed into the hold, his heart pounding from the feeling of suffocation. Then Will let him go and he could get a full breath again. He sucked in air through his nose, but Will’s hold was greedy, insistent. The pull on his hair was just more incentive to keep moving his head, to suck just that much harder, to rub his lips just that much faster.

He kept up the pace, starting to sweat, feeling his neck and back straining against the pull, yet he dug in and held on, chasing that tension higher and higher, hyper aware of the wood creaking and Will’s whimpers.

Finally, he found the edge. He knew Will was at a limit, knew from how his hips shook, could feel it in the tension in Will’s thighs. Sebastian slowed down, panting, still pumping Will’s cock with a sliding motion, rotating his wrist on the upstroke.

“You want to see me swallow it, or wear it?” he panted, shifting his weight. His knees were aching on the dirt and he thought that the seam of his pants was going to rip from how hard his cock was pressed against it.

Will’s face was flushed, his eyes crinkled but focused, his mouth open in quick, shallow gasps.

“You choose,” he groaned, shifting as Sebastian pumped him. The stones holding the makeshift bench together rattled, but held steady. Now Will’s hand was slower, petting his head, running slower, lighter circles over his scalp. Sebastian pulled back and licked the side of Will’s cock, the head shiny from his attention. The fingers on Sebastian’s head trembled from how much he wanted this.

“You taste beautiful,” he said, knowing Will heard him because he’d squeezed his eyes shut.

“How,” Will wheezed, “does someone taste beautiful, Bastion?”

Sebastian ducked his head once more, swallowing him down, his fist a piston of force and gentleness all at the same time. He tried to think of an answer, his mouth full of Will’s flavor, of his salt and musk. He wanted to share the feeling, wanted Will to understand that he didn’t have the words he was grasping for, just this feeling that right now, in this place, with this man, he was the most Alive he’d ever been.

Will groaned then, a warning in the sound. Sebastian had been categorizing the gasps, moans, and shouts, filing them away for later when he was alone and wanted to replay how good it felt to give this to him. On a scale of 1 to 10, Will’s expressive nature made the entire experience an 11.

“I’m close,” Will warned.

Sebastian hummed, eager and suddenly faster. He knew his hand was blurring. He inhaled through his nose and then shoved deeper, letting Will’s cock slide into his open throat as he hummed.

It was enough.

Will swore, letting go of Sebastian’s head. Sebastian took the hint and pulled back, just in time to feel the first stripe of cum on his tongue.

He pumped a few more strokes, his fist milking out one more burst of spend before he swallowed it, shivering with the bitter, salty taste. He sucked the head of Will’s cock, licking it clean before he pulled back, panting, a long string of saliva stretching from Will’s cock to his lips before it snapped.

Will reached a shaky hand into his pocket and then handed Sebastian a handkerchief. Sebastian accepted it, wiping his face and exhaled, half coughing as he did so. Sebastian fell back on his ass, breathing, chest pounding from exertion. He looked up into the swaying branches of the tree, jaw tired, eyes closed.

Then, after Will had tucked himself back together, he knelt down and pulled Sebastian against his chest. Sebastian’s eyes widened and he almost pulled back, unwilling to put any pressure on the ribs, but William held him tighter.

“Not yet,” he said into Sebastian’s ear, “just…another moment.”

Slowly, shivering because he was so sensitive right now, his balls heavy in his jeans, he tried to give Will what he wanted, tried to just hold himself back so he could calm down.

But then with a grunt, Will turned him, pulling Sebastian back flush against his chest, on arm crossed over Sebastian’s torso, Will’s other hand freeing him from his jeans.

Sebastian closed his eyes as Will took the handkerchief out of Sebastian’s limp hand and wrapped it around his hard and throbbing cock.

The cloth was soft against his sensitive shaft and made of a soft material that ran smooth and hot against his skin. Will began and gentle but insistent pressure, milking him with a fierce intensity that had him quaking.

It was over within a few moments, his balls tightening and his breath leaving his body in whimpers. He let out a final, surrendering cry as Will bit down on the back of his neck.

They stayed there, panting and relaxing, that post-coital calm sinking into them. Sebastian looked up into the tree branches that hung over them, making the ground they sat on dappled with sunlight and shadow.

“I…I didn’t expect you to finish me,” he whispered, his head resting on Will’s collarbone.

Will pressed his face against Sebastian’s cheek, his beard soft and soothing.

“I don’t leave my best guy hanging,” he whispered, his chest heaving shallow breaths behind him.

Sebastian’s eyes widened and he tried to pull away, but William tightened his grip on his torso, pinning him.

“I’m hurting you. Your ribs, Will…”

“They’re fine,” he said gruffly, pressing his forehead against Sebastian’s shoulder. “Orgasms make natural pain relievers. Seriously, that’s what pain meds should do: make you orgasm.”

Sebastian laughed weakly and leaned his head back, eyes closed. If he swallowed, he could still taste Will in his mouth.

Will was gentle, folding the cloth, wiping him clean before sticking it back in his own pocket. Sebastian tucked himself away and then leaned into Will, trying to keep his weight off of Will’s broken ribs.

“One more smoke and then we head back, hmm?” William said.

Sebastian nodded, feeling languid.

“And this time, we like each other in the morning. I’m tired of this shared orgasm then bullshit throwdown fight bullshit,” Will groused.

Sebastian chuckled.

“What? Don’t you like when I stomp off, pissed?”

Will tightened his arms.

“I hated that,” he said softly. “Like, I hated all of it.”

Sebastian dug into his pocket. Miraculously, Will hadn’t crushed his smokes when he’d pulled his pants open. He lit them two more cigarettes and then they sat, staring out into the view of the mountain. Behind them was the valley and home, but here, all of Zuzu was over the rise of the cliff, the skyscrapers creating a magical skyline of modern architecture. Sebastian thought it looked like a wizard’s castle on the hill.

“I come here when I need to think,” he told Will. Will was absently stroking his shoulder, keeping him snug as they contemplated the view.

“And what do you think about?”

Sebastian flushed and leaned his head back, resting it on Will’s shoulder. He took in the smoke and blew a cloud of it to the sky.

“Different things. Moving out to Zuzu, mostly.”

Will chuckled, “Yeah? Maybe we would have hooked up again.”

Sebastian rolled his knuckles against Will’s forearm. There were roses tattooed into the skin, flowers and leaves and thorns covering the flesh with art. They went all the way over Will’s hands, coloring the flesh with elegant petals and sharp thorns.

“I thought about that. You know, finding you again.”

He felt Will’s lips bend into a smile against his back. “Did you?”

Sebastian nodded.

“What else do you think about, Sebastian? Hmm?”

Sebastian stilled, his eyes locking onto the particular break in the air that the skyline created.

“I uh, you know,” he said softly, “I think about my Dad.”

Will stilled.

“Yeah?”

Sebastian swallowed. Did he want to tell Will about this?

He wasn’t sure.

But then, he licked his lips in nervousness and was hit with another salty-bitter reminder of how close they’d become. He remembered Will’s eyes from yesterday, wild and needing ad he was trapped on that hospital bed. Helpless.

Will had given him a lot. Given him his addiction story. Told him about his injuries. Had given him his time and energy…even when Sebastian had pushed him back. His logical mind couldn’t help but see the inequality present.

He closed his eyes and then said, “Yeah. My dad. He lives in Zuzu City too.”

*

William stilled when Sebastian brought up his dad. He’d never spoken about him before. Maru said they were half-siblings, which meant her dad, Demetrius, was his step-dad, not birth father.

“You ever go see him?”

Sebastian shrugged, eyes still closed, cigarette lazily burning between his fingers.

“Yeah. Sometimes.”

William waited, not pushing. The breeze around them was nice, blowing through the clearing with a clean smell in the air. Sebastian’s cigarette bloomed and he sank into a bone-deep contentment. His ribs throbbed but he hadn’t been blowing smoke about orgasms and endorphins. It wasn’t as good as dose of morphine would have been, but it was enough to keep him level for now.

“He would…when I was a kid, he’d just show up. Out of the blue. One week you couldn’t get him the answer the phone,” Sebastian took a long puff, “the next? Saturday morning he was there with donuts and tickets to a baseball game. We’d watch cars race. Horseraces. We’d go to sports games and pool halls. Dad was good at that sort of thing.”

William rubbed the stub of his cigarette out and waved his hand in rejection when Sebastian reached for his nearly empty pack.

“He liked to gamble?” William guessed.

Sebastian chuckled, “Yeah. Yeah, he loved it. He was sometimes pretty good at it. He’d rake in good money one week, just tons of cash. Then he’d show up with presents and candy. Mom hated it. He never remembered like, my birthday or anything. Wintersday? Forget it. But maybe a few weeks after. But it wasn’t common. Just here and there.”

Sebastian contemplated his smoke and inhaled on the dying stick. “I thought he was like, this wizard. Just appearing whenever I wanted some fun.”

“When was the last time you saw him?” William asked, feeling like the lookout was their own personal room, even though they were in the open.

Sebastian didn’t answer right away. He stubbed his cigarette then pulled out another, lighting it with careful, precise motions, the ritual just as important as the smoke. He blew out the smoke and then leaned back, looking up at the clouds.

“Right after I uh,” he stuttered, swallowed and then said, “well, after my freshman year, I went and drove into the city. Had gotten my license. I wanted to move in with him. Wanted to stop living with Mom and Demetrius. Demetrius and I…we don’t always see eye-to-eye and when I was in high school, we had some pretty big fights.”

William narrowed his eyes. “He ever hurt you?”

Sebastian snorted. “Demetrius is an asshole, but he’s not like that. No. Dem…Dem would never hit me or Maru. Especially not Maru. He loves her more and we all know it.”

William squeezed a bit, waiting for the rest.

“Anyway, I’d been a shit that year. Like, typical teenage bullshit. Dropping interests. Creating new ones. Bucking rules and boundaries. Stayed out too late on the weekends and had a dip in my grades. Looking back, it’s all really stupid but at the time…it felt big. Felt like the biggest thing in the world.”

He pulled on the cigarette and released the breath.

“I decided I was moving out. I packed a bag and caught the bus in the middle of the night. Mom was worried sick,” he shook his head, “and to be honest, it was really fucking stupid.”

“What did your dad do to you when you showed up on his step?”

Sebastian chuckled. “He let me crash.”

William blinked. “Just like that?”

“Yup. Told me that I was his son and of course I could stay.”

William frowned. “What was the catch?”

Sebastian rolled his cigarette in his fingers for a minute before saying, “You know what a con-artist is right? A grifter? Someone who rips people off for a living?”

William felt the understanding click.

“Your dad?”

Sebastian ashed the cigarette and sucked again on the filter. He let out a breath and with the cloud nodded. “Yep.”

Will let out a breath.

“Fuck.”

Sebastian nodded.

“So then….what? He get arrested or something?” Will asked.

Sebastian snorted. “Marcus Kormos? Get arrested? Please. You’d have to pin the slimy eel down first. No. I uh, I learned some stuff from him. We trolled pool halls.” Sebastian shook his head. “But it wasn’t like I thought he was.”

William tried to imagine a younger Sebastian following around an older man into pool halls, sharking guys for cash. He tried to imagine the kind of seedy things that Sebastian would have seen.

“It was like,” Sebastian said, frowning, “I’d built him up in my head as this really cool and awesome person who had no rules. He was an outlaw. He lived on the edge and was so amazing. But when I was living with him? Sleeping on his couch? It fucking sucked. He moved motels like, once a week, minimum. He lived out of a suitcase.”

Sebastian frowned at his cigarette. “He got me hooked on these little shits,” he muttered, inhaling again. “No one expected me to be young if I was smoking, so he taught me how.”

“When did you go back? I bet your Mom was worried sick.”

“Oh, she was furious. I’d called her when I came into town from the payphone at the bus stop. Told her I was living with Dad now. She tried everything to get me home.”

He chuckled then as if the memory made him smile, but the slash across his face was the grimmest smile Will had ever seen.

“You know who finally found me?”

William had a guess but kept it to himself. Sebastian stared back out at the city. “Demetrius. Dad and I were camped at this old roach inn that was right outside the city. Demetrius said he’d used, ‘The Scientific Method’ to narrow it down, but I guessed he just called every racetrack, pool hall, casino and bingo hall in the area until he found a man meeting dad’s description with a stupid kid.”

“He dragged you home?”

Sebastian nodded. “Wanna know the worst part?”

“What?”

Sebastian let out a shuddering breath.

“I tried to get Dad to fight for me. To make me stay. To tell Demetrius to fuck off. To tell him that I was his kid and he was my father and just to leave us alone.”

William couldn’t help but hold his breath.

“But,” he looked down and Will remained still, braced for the blow, “Demetrius had brought the checkbook. See, Demetrius had a theory. And like any good scientist, he was going to do an experiment. Demetrius told him to name a price. Any amount that he thought was fair and he’d write it for him as long as he never tried to get me to move in with him while I was in school.”

William focused on the red cherry at the end of Seb’s cigarette. Sebastian’s fingers were trembling as his face remained a mask of calm. He exhaled. “He did this while I was standing right there. So, you know, front row seats to the deal.”

Sebastian’s face grew icy.

“I begged him not to. Told him that it was just a trick. Told him that Dem and Mom would never really do it. But,” he laughed a bitter sound, “that didn’t stop my Dad for selling me back for 500$.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, for sticking with me! As a reminder, Feedback is life and life is love. I appreciate everyone who comes by! Kudos, Bookmarks and (best of all) Comments are my favorite ways to receive appreciation for the time I put into this.
> 
> Next chapter will update Wednesday, October 18th 2017 between 8-10 CST. If you ever wanna chat, you can hit me up at [My Fanfic Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dracoangelicawritesfanfiction).
> 
> Also, a reminder, I will be taking off the week of October 29th - Nov 4th so there will be no updates that week.
> 
> Thanks for everything!


	34. Anger Management

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The return of actual game plot in this hot mess.

William had felt a lot of types of anger over the years. There was the flash of fury that accompanied something painful, inconvenient or rude. Usually, a few quick actions and this was handled, whether that was a punch or a hard fuck. Back during the dark days, he’d just get an extra hit of whatever chemical he was close to. The flashes were light lightning. They hit. They burned and then disappeared, only the too-bright flash and blindness on the cornea showing it had been there. A flash of fear in the eyes of fellow members of his unit...a flinch from friends. Still, he could sooth this.

There was loud anger- longer than the lightning strikes. Loud anger roared like thunder and flooded the system but after a few punches, maybe receiving a few in return, it leveled out. Bruises would remind him of his stupidity later but after a week? Done. He’d forget the reason why he was pissed in the first place.

He also knew what he called broken-heart anger. Cameron had been kind enough to introduce him to this particular level of his fury scale. It lasted in aching hurt and came out in ill-thought comments, an inability to relax and re-occurred with glares and shifts to defensiveness from his righteous fury.

This was different.

As he held Sebastian in the lull of their intimacy and listened to his lover explain in clinical detail how his father had not only destroyed any trust he could have held for him but also created a wound so deep that he wasn’t sure if Sebastian had ever truly healed…he didn’t feel any level of hatred he’d ever had a word for.

He was…calm.

His heart? Perfectly steady in his chest. His mind? Clear as fucking glass. His hands? Steadily intertwined with Sebastian’s trembling fingers.

He waited, looking for words. He’d need words right now because he had to make sure that Sebastian didn’t realize how the anger felt like a being within himself. He didn’t need him to know that in this moment he was imagining exactly how he would find his father, how he would bring him somewhere private and gut him.

Gut wounds, he remembered, absently, took a really long time to kill you.

He’d pull the intestines out of the open wound and just wait, watching as the man screamed. He might even keep him hydrated. He wondered exactly how this bastard would feel if he could see the water working through his system, his insides on the outside, like bright ribbons of deep grey and red. He’d bleed out, but it would hurt. It would hurt a lot. And maybe in that hurt, he could achieve an ounce of the pain that he knew Sebastian was feeling when he told that fucking story. Maybe if he kept him outside for days, tricking water into his mouth, letting him die slowly, it would make up for a few of the moments Sebastian had spent realizing that his own father thought he was worth less than a week’s room and board.

“Your dad,” he said, his voice raspy with all that he was suppressing, “better hope that he and I never meet.”

Sebastian gave a soft chuckle and leaned against him. William’s ribs ached at the contact but pain in this context was good.

He wasn’t quite feeling up to going on a homicidal hunt, his body reminded him. He had to heal before he could do something like that.

“Fat chance,” Sebastian said, starting to get up and stretch. William watched him, his eyes focused on the lines in his face.

“How long has it been since you’ve seen him?” William asked, his fists digging into the grass beside him.

Sebastian shrugged and rubbed his cigarette out, shoving the butt in his pocket.

“Long time. Since then, but, you know, not for a long time.”

William could see the walls shutting back down on Sebastian’s face, the door he’d cracked open closing. He didn't push, instead, starting to negotiate his own rise to his feet.

Sebastian let out a hand and he looked up at him.

Anyone who focused on surface issues might think Sebastian was a pretty fuck and that was it. And it was true, he was lean where William was thick. He was shorter and his body gave sort of androgynous prettiness that William knew he’d never have. Yet underneath all of it was a core of pain that he’d crystalized into diamond-hard.

William accepted the hand and with a graceful lean, Sebastian pulled him to his feet.

It was agony bending and he felt his face break into a sweat from the whole experience, but he’d have done it all over again just to have Sebastian’s hand in his again.

“Let’s take you back,” Sebastian said, shy. William held his hand, letting go only to fold back into the clown car.

As soon as they got back on the road, he turned on the radio and interlaced their fingers for the rest of the drive home, his murderous intentions buried underneath the aching in his heart for the man beside him.

*

It was just after noon when he and Will pulled up underneath the archway that declared them to be on the “Cloudburst Farm”. He was surprised to see his mom had already finished most of the framing for the expansion and she’d managed to get a bigger team over than before. At the rate she was going, the expansion would be finished in its entirety by tomorrow.

“Your mom works quick,” Will said, impressed.

Sebastian nodded, warmed by the admiration in Will’s voice. He yawned despite himself. He’d had four hours of sleep and a shower since yesterday, but he was bushed.

“You’re not going to have a very calm place to rest,” he said, noticing the generator and power tools.

“I’ll be fine,” Will assured him, squeezing the hand that he’d been holding since they’d left the lookout. “I want some time to like, be home, you know?”

Sebastian hesitated then nodded. He couldn’t begrudge him that.

“I’ll be by tomorrow,” he told him.

Will waved a hand.

“Nah, Bastian,” he said, “get some work done. Go get a nap. You’ve been busting ass here and I bet you haven’t gotten any of those contract things done, yeah? That shit is important.”

Sebastian felt a moment of warmth flood through him at the acknowledgment.

He felt like he was always trying to get his family to recognize that he was busy, yet here was his boyfriend, clearly needy for contact and time shoving him towards what he had felt guilty for neglecting.

“After then,” Sebastian persisted. “I’ll come by.”

Will smiled that half-smile.

Sebastian ached to push for more. Wanted to find out what he REALLY thought about the bomb he’d dropped about his dad. Wanted to know if he thought Sebastian was weak for believing that his dad had been more than a criminal using him…but the strength he’d found in the silent acceptance was too much of a balm against his own pain at re-visiting the memory he just couldn’t think too hard on it.

He waited until he saw Will disappear into his house before backing out and going home.

*

It was three more days of construction. William almost wondered if he should have tried to go stay with his parents while it was going on, but the thought of having another run in with Cameron while he tried to just get back to breathing normally was about as attractive as sticking honey-coated hands into an anthill.

Yet, despite the days of interruption and disorder, he was very pleased with the renovation once Robin completed it.

He had a kitchen again, thank god. And electricity.

“This is just a ridiculous level of rusticness,” Sebastian complained. He sat on William's floor fighting with an internet router.

William leaned back on the couch, amused to see him fiddling with the apparent inferior product that William had bought at Pierre’s.

“You could have had me order you one online,” Sebastian grumped as he inserted plugs into the little box. “This thing is barely going to give you enough upload speed to play a decent game on that console.”

“I don’t need to play online,” William told him, sipping a beer he’d bought from the store. It was proper beer, a dark stout with a bitter coffee flavor on his tongue after each sip. None of Abby’s too-sweet girly shit.

Sebastian cast him a baleful look from under his forelock of black hair.

“You need to just let me build you a PC,” he said, shifting to put the box underneath his TV.

“When am I going to have time to play on a computer,” William asked, amused.

“PC Master-race, Will,” Sebastian replied, leaning back at the little blinking box. He turned in place and starting typing rapidly into the laptop he’d brought with him.

William sipped his beer, watching in appreciation as Sebastian’s face melted from that irritated scowl at William’s Console-peasantry into a blank focus of work. It was a beautiful shift from annoyance to competence.

How hard, he wondered, shifting against his healing ribs, would it be to convince Sebastian that another one of those mind-scrambling dick suckings would actually be really fucking good for his healing process.

Just as he was plotting the best method of bringing it up, there was a knock at his door. He turned his head and raised a brow at Sebastian.

“Don’t look at me,” Sebastian said, “it’s your house.”

William let out a small curse as he pushed himself up. The bruising was starting to fade in his torso but he couldn’t help the twinges of pain that had followed every time he’d moved. He was able to keep his crops weeded but his project of clearing the land out had been slowed considerably by his injury. He went to the door and was alarmed to see that fucking wizard standing with Marlon, the guild master. He glanced backward at Sebastian, his solid, logical and boyfriend setting up an internet connection and then back at the freaking wizard and Jumino-whisperer.

Sebastian had glanced up but he couldn’t see who was there from the door. William stepped outside and closed the door behind him.

Robin had given his porch a rail with the expansion, and extended the roof quite a bit, creating a sort of sheltered deck. He’d even been looking for some chairs to put outside so he and Sebastian didn’t have to sit on the steps when they smoked.

Rasmodius and Marlon looked like a pair of fantasy-punkers who had gotten lost on their way to the convention.

“Heard you had some issues down in the mines,” Marlon said, his fingers in his pockets.

“Something like that,” William said, feeling guarded at the sudden invasion.

“You’re stupid, son,” Rasmodius told him with a scowl, “Why didn’t you come to me if you suffered magical injuries?”

“Broken ribs ain’t exactly a magical malady, Rasmodius,” William said, “and careful. I’m not sure that I’m ready for Sebastian to know these injuries are more than just a bad fall while spelunking.”

“Nonsense,” Marlon snorted. “All the kids in town know there be monsters down yonder in them mines.”

“If there were monsters,” William said carefully, “Why isn’t like, the government down there and experimenting on new war weapons in the Gotoro conflict?”

“Because the magic of the valley keeps them out,” Rasmodius said with a snort. “Come on boy, you can’t be that ignorant.”

“Apparently I’m pretty fucking stupid.”

“Language,” they two men snapped at once.

It was like getting a ‘magical journey’ lecture from his mom, he swore to god.

“Look,” William said, letting out a shallow breath because his body still forgot that he couldn’t inhale as deeply as he wanted, “I was stupid. I stayed too long and went too deep. I’ll be more careful next time.”

The wizard didn’t look convinced but pulled a flask of something oily and blue.

“Drink this tonight and those ribs should be a memory of pain tomorrow.”

William narrowed his eyes

“What are you giving me Rasmodius?

“A chance at decent healing. Look, you still need to finish your offerings to the shrines of the juminos. We can’t sit around and wait for you to just ‘get better’ Mr. Bauer.”

“What? Why?”

Rasmodius rolled his eyes and Marlon frowned.

“Oh no, you don’t you old spell-slinger. I hate that teleportation stuff. Makes my insides feel all jumbled,” Marlon said.

“Too bad,” the wizard said, reaching over and snagging them both by the arms before summoning that bright flash of light.

William felt as though someone has shoved a fishhook behind his bellybutton and pulled as hard as they could. Yet, instead of pain lashing up his back like he would have expected from such a pull, he felt instead as though the world was shifting around him and he was standing still.

As quick as a blink, the feeling was gone and his ears rang from the residual magic.

He was going to shout at them, freaked by how quickly they’d used the magic, but Marlon squeezed his shoulder and because it was the side that he’d gotten hit pretty hard on the last time he’d been down into the mines.

They were on a ledge, above the town. If he looked back he could see the hill that lead towards Sebastian’s house. Yet that wasn’t what Rasmodius and Marlon were bringing him to see.

Where they stood they could see the large eyesore of the Joja store. Where Pelican Town looked simple and beautiful in its rural charm, the long blue finger of the mega-mart stood out.

“You see that?” Marlon said, pointing at a single black car that had pulled next to the back end of the store.

William frowned and peered forward.

A man in a blue suit was speaking seriously to Morris, his hands making short, pointed gestures at the northern half of town.

“He’s here about the shrines. That company has been trying to get Lewis to sell it for years. But they just might succeed now.”

William scowled.

“I don’t get it. As long as no one buys another membership for the Jojamart, it should be fine, right? Lewis said he’d hold out that long.”

They both looked grim.

“Doesn’t matter what Lewis thinks. Morris is on a mission from corporate. You’ve been too distracted, Mr. Bauer. We need you to refocus or this town will get its very magic ripped from the roots.”

“We cannot,” Rasmodius said, “lose the shrines. It’s the last holdout of the Stardew Valley power nodes.”

“You know,” William said, feeling tired, “we didn’t have to teleport all the way out here to see this. You could have said, ‘Hey, William, please get off your ass because we can’t save our own town and need you to do it for us’.”

Marlon rolled his eyes.

“William, while I know you think it’s just a strange bit of oddness, I promise you, that man’s appearance was never supposed to happen. Morris would never have called cooperate if you hadn’t frightened him the way you did.”

“You keep frightening him,” Marlon rumbled.

William threw his arms up.

“You hit a guy ONE TIME and no one lets you forget it, no matter how much of an asshole he was.”

Rasmodius rolled his eyes.

“It has nothing to do with your aggressive nature, William, though I assure you the spirits have noted your warlike tendencies. No, your farm. You’ve undercut all of the produce that Joja has been producing from their bigger farms out in the northern valley. The spirits are fond of you. However they have noticed and will not take such a defeat lying down.”

William crossed his arms.

“So now what?”

Rasmodius held up his staff and again, William had that uncomfortable ripping sensation against his stomach before they reappeared on his porch. He turned his head but a glance into his own window showed that Sebastian was doing something on his computer, his face screwed up in annoyed concentration. William turned back towards the men.

“The shrines must be obeyed,” the wizard told him intently, “they must be given their due and soon, young William. We are living on borrowed time.”

William wanted to say more. Specifically about magical so-and-so’s interrupting his day but both men disappeared with a burst of light. Fucking wizards and their fucking magic tricks.

William sighed and looked out at his farm. Despite his last few days, it WAS flourishing. The small seeds he’d received from the shrine were blooming well and most of his crops came out better than average. The magic had to be real, or how else would a city-kid turned farmer be able to produce such good produce on his first attempt?

The blue potion caught his eye. Rasmodius had left it sitting on the rail of his new deck. William hesitated.

A magic potion? What if there was something mind-altering in it? Something that would make him crave whatever it was. He closed his eyes.

He’d been weak already, quietly filling the prescription that had been in his discharge packet the day before. Though he hadn’t brought himself to take any of the pills, they sat, deep in the back of his bathroom cabinet. A safety blanket just in case he needed something more. A contingency plan.

He knew what his family would say but, he couldn’t stop himself. After all, William reasoned, he’d been in recovery for two years and counting. And, AND….it wasn’t like he would take them to get high. If he took one….if….it would be because he needed to get up that morning. All the farm work had been aggravating his back injury anyway. It wasn’t something he had to have. It was just a safety net.

William swiped the potion into his pocket, the little vial hard and cool against his hip. It would be better to never need them and if the wizard could help with that, then he wasn’t going to look a gift drug in the mouth.

William stepped back inside and Sebastian looked up, a brow raised.

“Who was that?”

“The uh,” he tried to think about a way to explain what had just happened in a way that made sense, “I have a neighbor down past Marnie’s. He’s sort of a hermit in a tower.”

“Oh, that old astronomer? He calls himself a wizard, right?”

William frown.

“Astronomer?”

Sebastian shrugged and looked back down at the computer.

“Why else would he live in a tower?”

There was a ‘ding’ on Sebastian’s laptop and he brightened, immediately distracted from William’s odd houseguests.

“Hey, it’s up! Finally.”

William sank back down on the couch and fiddled with his half empty bottle of beer.

“So I’m online, huh?”

Sebastian stretched, rubbing his neck. The sight was like an instant turn on. William wished he could pull him over. If his ribs were a fuck-ton of OUCH right now, he would have. William swigged down the rest of his beer, his thoughts circling around dragging Sebastian onto his new couch. It had been a relic in Jodi’s garage. Yet he’d love to give the thing some new memories. They could consider it a type of christening.

Oblivious of the predatory thoughts that William was slowly enacting in his mind, Sebastian looked up at him. “Sam just messaged. He and Abby want to hang. And tomorrow we have the festival performance.”

Well there went the evening. He stood up and chunked his empty bottle into the recycling bin and opened the fridge. He’d bought three 6 packs of beer yesterday and still had half of them all left today.

Trying to make himself sound casual and not at all like a spurned bitch-made man, William said, “So you’re going to hang with them tonight?”

William froze when he felt Sebastian’s hand on his back.

“Easy on those,” Sebastian said lightly, wrapping his fingers over the top of William’s hand.

William could feel the contrasting warmth of Sebastian’s hand over the icy chill of the glass neck. William hesitated. An argument sparked to his tongue, but he couldn’t bring himself to form it with Sebastian leaning on him that way, his head on his shoulder, his fingers interlaced with his own. Had it been his 4th in two hours? He was barely feeling a buzz.

He leaned back and Sebastian had an arm around him. He closed the fridge then turned them so that he had Sebastian pinned to it. He expected fear or alarm at the sudden loss of mobility, but Sebastian smirked, pleased with himself.

“We can go hang out with them if you want,” Sebastian said, his voice sultry. He walked his fingers up to William’s shoulders. “You know you’re always welcome anytime I’m with them, right?”

All of the irritation he’d had swirling within himself about being ditched so that Sebastian could hang out with his friends at the bar stilled. Because William…hadn’t know that.

“Oh.”

Sebastian smirked then, that quirky little twitch of lips.

“As a sign of goodwill, I’m even lifting that stupid ban we made from our bet.”

William swallowed, the implication more than he’d dared hope after all the issues Sebastian had shown in the past.

“You know…people might see us together. They might know.”

A fierce light came into Sebastian’s eyes and he reached up, curling his fingers into William’s shirt.

“Do you know how tired I am of hiding it? I don’t care. Let them know.”

William put his hand behind Sebastian’s neck and kissed him then, pulling him into his arms. The kiss was long and lingering and better than any beer he’d had that day.

*

It was, Sebastian decided, very magnanimous of him to release Will from their pool bet. The Stardrop was a lively place on Friday nights and the sounds of Abigail trouncing Will at the Prairie King Arcade cabinet was free entertainment.

Will had, briefly, attempted to try a game of pool but leaning was more than his ribs could take that evening.

“You’re a fucking cheat, Spooky,” Will groused at the death music tinkled from the wooden cabinet.

Sam raised a brow at him and Sebastian took a sip of his beer.

“Do all of you Squatches whine so much when you die?” she hissed and Sebastian grinned wickedly at Sam, who rolled his eyes, downing his own beer.

Their drinking game had started within a few minutes of witnessing Abby and Will bicker over…everything. When Abby called him Sasquatch, Sam had to drink. Every version of Spooky meant a sip for Sebastian with a double glug if he came up with something truly creative with the moniker.

“This is bullshit, Sebastian,” William said with barely contained disgust. “This game is fucking impossible. They get you from every freaking angle.”

“You have no Joystick-fu. Guess you missed classic retro games that day in school, Sargent Squatch.”

Sam looked at his beer and finished it with a grimace. So far, they’d been even but Abigail had just put them over the edge.

“I’ll get them,” Will said, apparently eager to escape his continual beat downs by Abigail's superior video game prowess.

“And since you lost, AGAIN, I want wings!” she called, sounding gleeful with her new found power.

Sebastian shook his head.

“You need to let him win at least once Abigail. Like, you know, you let Vincent win sometimes.”

“Um, Vincent isn’t a crazy mountain troll pretending to be a person,” she said, leaning over the pool table. “And besides. It's not often I get to trounce anyone at that game. You and Sam have too much practice.”

Sam chuckled, “You could always help him get better instead of just kicking his ass.”

She turned then scowled in Will’s direction. Sebastian smiled a bit though when he saw him. It was infectious, watching him make friends. Despite his own insecurities about the neighbors knowing they were together, they hadn’t elicited as much hoopla as he’d thought they would. Maybe it was because they were in a group, but no one had commented or raised an eyebrow at Will’s arm around his shoulders. No one seemed to be acting as though Will had some sort of illness or disease.

In fact, after he’d ordered their food, he high fived Shane. Odd that he didn’t have a problem with someone everyone else pretty much stayed away from. Sebastian leaned on his cue stick while Sam set up his shot, unable to keep his eyes off of his laughing boyfriend. Will was leaning against the bar, listening to something Shane was saying, and then he reached over to give a backslapping bro-hug. It was a genuine and affectionate thing, but Sebastian knew he’d never be able to be so casually touchy with someone he didn’t have genuine feelings for.

Abigail was watching Will with him and her brow furrowed.

“Nah. I enjoy kicking his ass too much. It’s the least I can do. I mean, c’mon, do you think that he cares if he wins?” She snorted in derision.

“Nothing gets to him. Even teasing him is like…bouncing ping-pong balls off of a brick wall,” she said.

Sebastian frowned, mind flashing back to days before when Will had laid on sheets so white they reflected the lights.

“Oh, he’s breakable,” he muttered, cocking his head as Sam took a terrible shot that lined the balls right into his plan. He leaned over the table and snapped his stick at the cue, sinking two in one shot.

“It’s cool that he came out with us tonight,” Sam declared. “Friends should be able to hang out and stuff, and I’m glad your boyfriend considers us friends.”

Abigail’s brows shot up. “Shut your mouth, you guys are official?”

Sebastian snagged the chalk block and nervously fiddled with the pool stick.

“Um. Yeah. Mostly. Sort of. I think.”

Abigail let out a breath and nodded. “Good.”

Sam’s eyes snapped over to her, focused on her face as she processed the news. Sebastian felt nervous. He hadn’t meant for this to be a ‘coming out’. He’d just thought it would be good to get Will out of that house, cooped up with nothing to do but drink and be moody.

Yet…when he saw Will coming over with a basket of wings for Abby and several long necks in one fist, something inside him eased. Because it did feel right to hang out like this. Nothing to be nervous about at all.

Demetrius stood up as William passed the table they were hanging at.

Sebastian didn’t think much about his mom and step-father coming to the bar tonight. They went dancing most weekend nights and seeing them here hadn’t registered as anything other than the usual Friday night.

But Sebastian had seen that look in Demetrius’s eyes before. It was stern and very clear to Sebastian that he had a bone to pick and the person he was about to pick was Will.

“Oh shit,” he muttered, stepping away from the table and leaning his pool stick against the wall.

Will had his back to Dem and was laying out the food and beers on one of the high tops near the pool table.

“Alright, Eliza Spooklittle, I got your wings. And beers for all of us.”

Sebastian was only about a foot away when Demetrius cleared his throat.

“Excuse, Bill—”

William turned and gave a genial smile to Demetrius.

“Yes sir?”

Sebastian made it to his side just in time to hear Demetrius say, “We need to have a talk about your intentions with Sebastian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, who has stuck with me over the last few months! I am now working on wrapping up all the loose ends and crocheting them into a nice, complete story quilt so that chapter 50 doesn't leave anyone hanging.
> 
> If you like what you're reading then please consider leaving a comment, a kudo or telling a friend! I've been running this marathon since August and I am starting to have swirly eyes come Wednesday and Saturday haha.
> 
> Updates are Wednesdays and Saturdays between 8-10pm CST. You can find me [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dracoangelicawritesfanfiction) if you ever want to chat about Cloudburst or throw me a line. :D I am a starving pit of need when it comes to feedback friends so never feel shy.


	35. Intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love has some strange ways of showing itself.
> 
> Mild NSFW content near the end.  
> New tag: war death

Demetrius, William decided, would be a real threat if he’d bothered to build any of his body’s muscles. Though, William figured that the meat patch between his ears was plenty big enough. Demetrius was tall and lanky with a pair of square glasses perched on a narrow nose. Yet, for a man who had, for all intents and purposes, called him out in a public place for being an inappropriate influence on his step-son, William didn’t get that energy feel of someone truly trying to start a fight.

  
Sure, the words had been aggressive, but there wasn't any posturing behind them. Instead of a fight, it was almost as if Sebastian’s step-dad had tossed them out the way you’d throw down a flag…like William was a bull he expected to charge.  


Despite a lack of true aggression in the words, Sebastian was a tightly wound string of Oh Fuck just clinging to his arm. William thought that perhaps he shouldn't like Sebastian clinging out of fear, but if that wasn’t the sweetest candy of attention for his mind to wrap around, he didn’t know what was.  


William gave an easy smile, his inner tension coiled and hidden underneath the guise of genial cheer. “I intend to watch him play pool right now.”  


This made Demetrius’s eyes narrow and belatedly, William remembered that Marcus was a pool-sharking jackass. Great. His mind took the liberty of mapping out the room.

  
Sebastian was on his right. Demetrius was between them and the door. Tactically, this was a shit situation. Too many people around and he was hemmed in. His inner strategist cursed at the poor battlefield. Still, there were options for diplomacy.  


“Beer?” William offered, holding the tray out for Demetrius. It was enough to derail whatever thought train the older man had been following.

  
Demetrius, thank goodness, was too polite and too wise to turn down free beer. Hurray beer, the diplomatic buddy of many a tense conversation. Someone should give the inventor of the stuff a fucking medal.  


“Demetrius, stay out of this,” Sebastian said next to him, his arms dug into his hoodie as if the jacket was going to somehow contain all his anxiety and stress.  


William draped an arm over Sebastian out of reflex, letting his height and weight anchor his lover. It was always easier to focus on the here and now with something holding you there. He narrowed his eyes at Demetrius, who was watching them as he drank his PeaceBeer. The man's face was cool, like a camera taking in data without revealing the processes behind it. Yet, when William gave Sebastian an absent rub for reassurance, a cloud of confusion crossed Demetrius's face. It was so quick that William couldn't decipher more than annoyance blended with shock. And he was damned if he knew what that meant.  


“Sebastian,” Demetrius said, sounding tired and older than he looked, “did it ever occur to you that people care about you?”  


“Hey,” William said with an attempt at an easy smile, “now that is something we can agree upon.” He tightened his grip on Sebastian's shoulders when he felt Sebastian start to tense as if to lunge at his step-father. If anyone was going to be fighting it was going to be him. After all, his reputation was already fucked. No need to bring Sebastian down with him. Demetrius had chosen this battlefield and they were at a disadvantage even if William couldn't quite figure out where the pitfall was.  


Sebastian looked at him sideways, as if he didn’t quite know William’s game. He didn't really know his game either. Dealing with awkward parental confrontation was a new experience. He'd never had to deal with an irate or disapproving father before.  


Well. Unless getting kicked out of a boy’s house in high school for being naked in his bed counted…but then again, he’d been able to understand the fury of that particular misadventure a lot better than his grown-ass boyfriend’s step-dad coming out of the woodwork like a pissed off papa wolf.  


“That remains to be seen,” Demetrius said softly, his eyes resting on Sebastian’s angry face.  


“If you're going to give him the third degree,” Sebastian growled, "is there any way I could convince you not to do it in front of the whole town?”  
Demetrius looked around and William figured that had actually been apart of whatever half-cocked idea that driven him to confront them in the first place. Abby and Sam were behind them now and William realized that despite his normal squabbling with the girl, it was sort of nice to have her angry eyes focused on someone other than him.  


However, there were advantages to staying in the room. People tended to behave themselves if they thought they would be judged by their neighbors. Or at least...other normal people cared about that. He was blessed with the ability not to give a single fuck about what the world thought.  


Demetrius’s eyes were roaming up and down over him now. This was familiar. Demetrius might not intend a physical confrontation but he was definitely spoiling for some type of fight.  


“Well, I thought William would be more comfortable in a conversation with witnesses, Sebastian, but if you insist,” he said.  


William knew that none of this made Sebastian feel any better but then again, whatever Demetrius was after, it clearly wasn't violence, no matter how Sebastian was reacting. And...hadn't he said that Demetrius had never hit him before?  


“If it's all the same then, I will meet you outside to discuss some things. I trust you won't keep me waiting,” Demetrius turned and placed the beer down back on a table. They watched as he made his way out. William noticed Robin grab onto his arm and they shared a whispered conversation before she threw her arms up and crossed the room to sit next to Leah, the lady who apparently saw him throwing cans into the lake.  


Sam slid up beside them, frowning.  


“You want us there, man?”  


Sebastian shook that overly-long lock of hair out of his face.  


“Not necessary,” he muttered, “I'm sure that Demetrius just wants to throw his dick around.”  


William snorted.  


“Now there is a kink I don't play in.”  


Sebastian’s face flushed and he shoved William in the arm, causing a dull pang to shoot through his ribs at the movement but William couldn't help but laugh.  


“Please,” he growled, “do not even JOKE about screwing Demetrius.”  


“I mean, babe,” William teased, starting towards the door, “they say once you go black, you never go back.”  


Sebastian tossed his hair, insolent. “Tell that to Cameron,” Sebastian didn't QUITE snarl.  
William laughed despite himself. The thought of a throw-down with Demetrius wasn't that appealing, what with him being Sebastian’s step-dad and therefore anything physical having messy consequences. Still, Sebastian was frowning.  


“What do you think he wants?” Sebastian asked him as they made their way out.  


William avoided shrugging because it hurt. “Whatever it is, he doesn't scare me.”  


“He has a plan, Will. Demetrius never does anything without a reason.”  


William remembered his role in Sebastian’s daddy drama and grimaced. Part of him actually understood the ice-cold bastard's motivations. After all, how else to prove to a stubborn teenager that he was throwing his lot in with an untrustworthy person. On the other hand how fucking cruel?  


He didn't feel the same anger towards Demetrius as he did towards Marcus but yet, he owed him for that particular hurt.  


Still.  


Too many witnesses at the Saloon for any major conflict. And hell, the whole town was going to analyze everything that was done or spoken anyway. No need to make it easy on them. They stepped outside and William looked around.  


Demetrius was standing in the dimly lit town square.  


William narrowed his eyes then let the tension flow out of him. People always thought you should tighten up when you were about to fight but staying loose was key to minimizing injury.  


“So!” William said, letting go of Sebastian so he could clap his hands together, “where is the shotgun?”  


“Excuse me?” Demetrius said.  


Sebastian and Demetrius both had puzzled looks that were hilarious mirror images to each other but William pressed on; keeping people on the back foot was a specialty of his and an off-balance opponent was a lot easier to deal with than one on his game.  


“You know sharp knives. Shotguns. 'Bring my baby home by the time I dictated'....I figured that's what we're doing here.”

Demetrius crossed his arms. “And if that's what was going to happen? How would you react, Mr. Bauer? Would you hit me for daring?”  


William sank into his heels.  


“Nah. I don't need to. You and all whatever this is? Like, what's your game, man? You ain't even mad.”  


Demetrius frowned, arms crossing.  


“Oh? If I was mad, would you break my jaw too? The way you attacked Morris?”  


The snarl came up out of William's throat without warning and Sebastian was between them, his hand on William's sore chest, his other hand held out towards Demetrius.  


“Out of line, Demetrius!” Sebastian shouted.  


“Why does everyone fucking care what I did to that asshole?” William asked, frustrated, “pay a-fucking-ttention Demetrius. Joja is trying to destroy your whole damn town and you all just sit around and play social fuck-fuck games.”  


“There is never a need for violence!"  


"Fuck that. You don't get to sit in your safe little house on your safe little hill and poo-poo violence. You don't get to sit around and pass judgement when there are men and women who put on a uniform to deal in the business of violence."  


"You're not on the battlefield anymore, Mr. Bauer. This sort of outburst is exactly why I question your predatory relationship with Sebastian!”  


Shock filtered through the rage, icing it out. He leaned back as if slapped.  


“My what?”  


Demetrius looked at Sebastian now.  


“Look, Seb, I know we don't always see eye-to-eye, but whatever happened the other day, you aren't under any obligation to William. I know you don't know a lot of gay men and maybe this introduction feels like some type of fate...what with him falling out at your feet the other day, but I am concerned by the amount of time you are suddenly spending together.”  


William started to laugh. “Wait, what?”  


Sebastian stood in shock. Demetrius wasn't done. He glared at William. “I know exactly how kind-hearted Sebastian can be. I can only imagine whatever infatuation you might have convinced him of. There you were, helpless and you just 'needed' him so much. Well, William, I'm not going to see anyone do that to him. Not going to watch you drag him into whatever----”  


“Demetrius,” Sebastian said softly, covering his face in mortification, “Shut. Up.”  


He froze at the sound of near hysteria in Sebastian's voice.  


“I know you don't like when I speak up, but--”  


William started to laugh at the image that Demetrius had pulled up in his head. He had never really thought about how they might look to an outsider, but the pieces began to slide into place.  


Sebastian suddenly wanting to come over to his house.  


Sebastian coming home covered in dirt and sweat after taking him the hospital.  


The sudden visitations that Sebastian wasn't hiding.  


Oh, it was rich.  


Laughter, as if punishing him for being too bold, hurt. His ribs protested the deep belly laughs.  


“Dude,” he gasped, “what sort of rumors are flying in this shit town that makes you think I'm some sort of creepy gaytard who runs around snatching up young, impressionable twinks?”  


Sebastian's face turned bright red.  


“Will!”  


William cackled, unable to help himself, “Oh god, stop, it hurts to laugh.”  
Demetrius was completely thrown now, eyeing William the way one might sidle around a rabid dog as if whatever crazy that was cracking William up was contagious.  


“Look,” William wheezed, “Dude, you have got us ALL wrong.”  


Demetrius frowned.  


“Tell him, Sebastian,” William said, straightening and trying to control his breathing. “Tell him how we REALLY met. Jesusfuck, this guy needs to be straightened out.”  


Sebastian...froze.  


“Um...”  


William's humor died a sudden death. Fuck. He didn't think this far ahead. Sebastian said he'd come out, but that didn't mean he'd told his family about ALL of his extracurricular activities while he'd wallpapered his little closet, now did it.  


“What does he mean, Sebastian,” Demetrius said, “how you really met?”  


William closed his eyes, suddenly feeling like the world's biggest idiot. Shit. How was he going to expect him to just say it out loud? They'd just gotten back into a place of stability yet here he was, pushing too soon, too hard and too fast AGAIN. Didn't he ever learn?  


He'd fucked up. William braced, waiting for Sebastian to drop him and run. Waiting for Sebastian's inevitable shove towards the bus. As Sebastian inhaled, he felt himself walling off that part of himself, preparing for the impact.  


“Dem,” Sebastian hesitated. William closed his eyes. “Will and I knew each other from a gay bar in Zuzu before he moved here.”  


William's eyes flew open and he felt his jaw loosen in shock. Across from him, Demetrius’s shoulders stiffened and he mirrored William's own surprise.  


“You...did?”  


Sebastian's shoulder's straightened and he turned, reaching behind himself and taking William's hand. His palms were warm from the hoodie but damp, the sweating the only sign of how brave he was being right now. William tightened his grip, trying to just push his own feelings through their interlocked fingers.  


“Yeah. Yeah, we did. It's why I've been acting weird. I...” he swallowed and squeezed William's hand, “I've just been trying to get myself worked out. So, like, I see you're trying to do a good thing here and all, but...you don't have all the facts for your hypothesis.”  


Demetrius turned to the side and pulled off his glasses, absently rubbing them against his shirt.  


“It seems as though I owe you both an apology,” he said, his voice strained.  
William stared in wonder and pride at Sebastian, who wasn't looking at him at all, but instead focused on Demetrius.  


“Just...next time you have to say something, try and do it with me first. Leave my boyfriend alone.”  


William felt his chest burn, not from his ribs but from a sensation so intense that he wondered if maybe he was having a heart attack.  


He didn't know what to say so he kept his mouth shut, unwilling to steal one ounce of power from his lover's moment. Unable to form anything that could express how he felt.  


“I'm...glad you're happy then, Seb,” Demetrius said, putting his glasses back onto his nose. “I'm sorry for any trouble I caused tonight.”  


“See you later. Will? Let's go," Sebastian said.  


William dug his free hand into the pocket of his faded jeans and turned his back to Demetrius with Sebastian beside him.  


They walked, silent, their hands tight. Sebastian's grip anchored him, and he figured, based on the tremors going through his arm that it was doing something similar for Sebastian. He held it in, didn't know quite how...it felt remarkably similar to holding his emotions in check at the flower dance only a month before, but as soon as they'd turned the corner onto the dirt trail that led to his farm, he released Sebastian's hand and looped his arm around Sebastian's shoulders, pulling him into his aching chest.  


Sebastian's body began to shake hard now, whatever bravery he'd found to get him through that confrontation was gone and he was falling apart, hyperventilating and nearly crying from the strain of keeping it together.  


William couldn't help it. He smiled into Sebastian's black hair and felt like the luckiest man breathing air.  
*  
He was, Sebastian, realized, probably having a panic attack.  


Which was a ridiculous reaction to have logically speaking. But his body didn't seem to agree with this assessment, much more convinced that he was about to die.  


Will's arms were like walls in his storm. He'd never been able to do that before. Just stare Demetrius in his arrogant, father-knows-best face and tell him that he was wrong and be believed.  


He closed his eyes, inhaling Will's scent of masculine safety trying to calm his breathing. Will's heart was steady against his ear and he squeezed his eyes tight, knowing he'd not be able to look Will in the face if he started crying over LITERALLY nothing. They'd won. They'd finished on top and it was all okay. So why couldn't he stop shaking?  


“My first firefight,” Will said, his hand moving in soothing patterns on his back, “we were escorting a few trucks from one side of the territory to an ally within the Gotoro enemy lines. We didn't have any problems on the way there but on the way back some of their soldiers found us on their patrol.”  


Sebastian inhaled, Will's calm voice replaying the events in his head. He tried to picture it and his mind inserted that clean-shaved man he'd seen on his computer screen. No tattoos. Hair in a proper buzz with a Ferngill helmet on his head. He tried to imagine Will that way, young and scared, clinging to a gun with other men in similar uniform, boys far from home facing bullets.  


“I think we scared them as much as they scared us,” Will said, his fingers still rubbing strong circles over Sebastian's spine, “and I reacted. I shot first, my bullet taking out their leader right between his eyes. He fell backward and they shot us back. The firefight was eh, maybe less than a minute. Then we hauled ass one way. They hauled ass the other way. I guess they wanted reinforcements and we wanted Ferngill back up around us.”  


Sebastian's brows furrowed. How could Will even compare something like life and death battle to what had just happened.  


“In boot camp,” Will said, letting out a long breath, “I had the lowest accuracy of any cadet in my year. My sarge used to say that I couldn't have hit the broad side of a barn with a hammer from 2 feet away. Yet then, on that op, I got that guy. Right between the eyes, just like I'd always imagined I would in training.”  


“No one died here today, Will,” Sebastian said into his chest, “my freak out is nowhere near the same.”  


“What I'm saying, Bastian,” he said, pressing his lips on top of Sebastian's head, “Is that sometimes we don't get the reactions we think we should. That night I got black out drunk and woke up with a communications officer from another unit that, I'm pretty sure had never been with a guy before that night. Ain't that fucked up? Kill my first man and then go whore it up? Man. You must hate how I reacted to that shit.”  


Sebastian frowned then let out a longer breath. The shaking had slowed and he knew he'd at least be able to walk now.  


“No,” he said, not feeling right about what Will was trying to say but trying to puzzle it out anyway, “you just reacted how you needed to. You had to like, relieve that stress, right?”  


“Exactly,” Will said, rubbing his shoulder and starting towards his farm. Sebastian felt himself leaning on Will's stronger arm but couldn't bring himself to feel self-conscious about it. The panic was still there, under the surface of his skin but Will's voice and touch had helped it recede a bit more.  


“I don't see how--”  


“I relieve stress by fucking,” Will said firmly, shocking Sebastian into snapping his jaw shut, “you react like a normal human being and just sort of tremble those chemicals out of your brain for a bit. So don't worry about doing it in front of me because I won't let anyone get to you when you need that moment, okay?”  
Sebastian felt a relief that soaked into the trembling and nodded slowly, looking at him with a small bit of awe and a lot of hunger.  
Fucking....fucking sounded like a really good way to unwind after that run in.  
*  
No matter what he'd said, it has stopped being fucking a while back with Sebastian. Maybe it was the way they moved together. Maybe it was how he could hold Sebastian's body with every touch gaining another writhing texture to his cries. He didn't know if it was the sounds he could coax out of Sebastian, the way he got greedy towards the end or how William could whisper filth into his ears that still made him blush. No matter the reason, William had the disturbing feeling that this was so much more than just the physical. So much more than lusty exertion.

  
William replayed the last hour in his mind. Sebastian was asleep on his chest, the lights dim as they lay under a blanket on his couch. It had been more than good, a release of all that strain and whatever anxiety Sebastian had managed to hold onto...well, William had shaken it out of him by now.  


Shadows stretched on the wall and William closed his eyes, trying to just memorize the moment, the taste of Sebastian on his lips, his unique tobacco and soap smell sinking into his bones. He opened his eyes, replaying touches, replaying the way Sebastian cried against him as he'd driven them towards completion. He'd been careful, always careful not to bruise his skin, always careful not to make it hurt too bad, yet Sebastian demanded, not understanding exactly how easy it would be to crush and hurt him if he didn't keep control over his own strength.  


Because despite Sebastian's words, despite the fact that he'd claimed him, literally stood up to the worst person in his own life, William had felt a hint of concern at Demetrius’s words.  


What were his Intentions?  


He didn't want to hurt Sebastian. Ever.  


He slipped his fingers into Sebastian's straight black hair, fine and soft. It was a beautiful thing to see how easily Sebastian fell into that boneless sleep after they'd been together as if he was always so wound up with tension that the release of the anxiety caused an instant-crash. He felt a surge of possessive protectiveness rise as he inhaled, the feeling receding with his exhale, leaving the realization that this WAS more than he'd thought.  


He'd been in love before.  


And damn if it wasn't more destructive than any other emotion on the spectrum.  


William looked up, memorizing whirls in the wood on his ceiling, fingers sifting through black hair as warm breaths bloomed and faded on his bare skin. He wasn't going anywhere now. Because he'd be damned if anyone else would hold this man through his panic. He'd be damned if those beautiful bedroom sounds went to anyone else. He'd end whoever tried to take this from him.  


He closed his eyes and let out a long breath. Even if it wasn't what was best for Sebastian...he had him now and wasn't letting go.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the chapter that almost didn't happen when my main computer decided to suddenly die last night. Thank goodness for back up laptops and drop box. As always, a reminder, I have no beta and write these very close to the posting date, so please and thank you for overlooking all mistakes.  
> Two more chapters and then I am taking a week off posting lovelies.
> 
> I am hoping to have this all wrapped up by ch 50! So far, so good.
> 
> Feedback is food for the fanficcer's soul, y'all. Comments, kudos, shares and bookmarks are all appreciated. If you're enjoying Cloudburst, I hope you'll tell a friend about your pleasurable experience with these two morons!
> 
> Updates are Wednesdays and Saturdays between 8pm-10pm CST. Thank you!


	36. True Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to Turtletotem who took this wreck of a chapter from my shaking hands and reglued the grammar and spelling into place.

Sebastian opened his eyes in a dim room that wasn't his. He was naked and warm, heavy arms around him. He yawned and turned his head, feeling slightly self-conscious about the trail of dried drool on Will's bare chest. Will shifted and Sebastian tried to extract himself from the too-warm skin to skin contact, reaching his arm down for his pants which were crumpled next to Will's couch.

 “Hmm...” Will groaned.

 Sebastian raised his head and then tapped Will's chest. Will squeezed him harder for a moment and Sebastian groaned.

 “Lemme up, Will,” Sebastian yawned. “Gotta go home.”

 “Hmmm...” Will loosened his arms and reached up, rubbing his hand over his face and scratching his beard.

 Sebastian stretched and pushed up, their bodies loose and limp from their sexual exertions. He rubbed his head and stretched, flexing his fingers. Sebastian felt sticky and needed a shower. He slid reluctantly out of the warm cocoon of blankets and Will. Sebastian's feet touched bare wood and he pulled his pants on, not bothering to look for his boxers which were...somewhere. He reached into his back pocket and checked his phone. Almost midnight. He cast around for his shirt and spied it hanging on the end of a chair. He found his hoodie in a lumpy puddle of cloth underneath it. He pulled them both on, shifting them so they didn't look too wrinkled. Then again, hoodies always looked wrinkled.

 Will was sitting up now, the blanket pooled between his thighs. He looked like a grumpy sex god roused too early from sleep.

 “You could stay the night, Bastian,” he offered, stretching his massive chest and thick arms. Sebastian buckled his belt, eyeing the way Will's tattoos rolled and flexed as he shifted his weight. He was beautiful this way, he decided, barely lit by firelight and coated with shadows. His rose-covered arm was a contrast to the barbed wire on the other. Sebastian cocked his head as he saw the angel and pedestal that was surrounded by a curtain of flowers and thorns. One of these days he would explore every inch and figure out exactly how many of those pieces he had covered himself with.

 “I would but we've got the concert tomorrow,” and man did he regret that... “gotta get my gear, get ready and all that for tomorrow morning. Mom said we could use the truck.”

 Will yawned, a ridiculously loud and dramatic vocalization that exaggerated his wild features, his beard, and hair adorably disheveled from their rough and tumble affections hours before.

 “Want me to walk you?”

 “Nah,” Sebastian said, checking and finding his lighter and cigarettes next to his wallet. “You're coming tomorrow?”

 Will squinted at him. “I said I would.”

 Sebastian smiled. “Okay, good.” He leaned over the couch, intending a forehead kiss, something light...but Will had other intentions. He surged up onto his knees and caught his cheek with one big hand, kissing him deep and long. Sebastian dug his fingers into the couch and then leaned back, flushed. He smirked and tilted his head, admiring the bare ass that blended into thick, powerful thighs. “You never do anything half-way, do you?”

 “Hmmm...how boring would life be?” Will's voice was so soft, eyes fierce. It made him shiver.

 Sebastian wished, for a moment, he could stay, but... no. He had too many variables about tomorrow to juggle.

 “Rain check,” he whispered, ducking his head to rub his cheek against Will's. Will's beard was soft against his skin, still warm.

 “Hold you to it,” Will growled, nipping his ear before he reluctantly let him go.

 Sebastian didn't linger, knowing if he did that Will wouldn't have any self-control left. The air was getting warmer, he realized. Summer was coming. Sebastian flicked his lighter open and lit a cigarette after he stepped off Will's porch. He capped the lighter and looked behind himself. His mom had done a good job extending the deck, rails and a longer cover over the front of the house. All it needed were some chairs and an ashtray.

 He inhaled his smoke and then stepped off, one fist in his hoodie as he walked home.

 He'd bring an ashtray over next time, and an extension cord so he could work outside while Will was there. It might be nice in the evenings.

 His phone buzzed and he pulled it out.

 Sam:  
You and Will hiding Demetrius's body?

 He smirked at the text and hit call, inhaling, the small fire at the end of his cigarette glowing a cherry red.

 Sam answered on the first ring.

“You got a shovel?” Sebastian deadpanned, ashing his cigarette as he stepped onto the mountain path that curled around the hill between his and William's house.

“Wait... wait, really?”

Sebastian chuckled, soft and dark.

“No. Just irritated at his ridiculous high-handedness is all. I never expected him to do something like that in public.”

“What did he want, anyway?”

“To make sure I knew that Will was like, hella bad news n' shit,” Sebastian said, inhaling the warmth of his cigarette, then he frowned. “You knew I was joking, right?”

“I mean. I knew you were probably joking. You wouldn't kill Dem. William on the other hand...”

Sebastian shook his head. “He's all bark.”

“Dude, like, I get you're all in the heart-eye stage, but William is plenty capable of bite. But you know. It's cool. I'm not scared or anything. Unlike Demetrius, I know you're too smart to get involved with an abusive dick.”

Sebastian flicked the ashes off his smoke. It was almost a nub to his fingers now. He took the last drag, killing it off, then stubbed it out against his shoe.

“He asked me to spend the night.”

 “Whoa... that's pretty serious.”

 Sebastian stuck the butt in his pocket and let out the last lungful of smoke.

 “And uh... I told Dem how we met. In Zuzu. At a gay bar.”

 Silence.

 “Damn....” Sam finally whispered, and Sebastian heard him shift back, probably laying in bed. He appreciated that with Sam he didn't have to say a lot. That he could just explain something once and it was accepted. “So this is it for you, isn't it? Laid down the law and shit.”

 Sebastian reached into his pocket, his fingers trailing the blue Frozen Tear stone that Will had given him over a week ago.

 “How do you know what love is, Sam?”

 Sam shifted and Sebastian could picture him in his mind's eyes. It was easy. Too many years obsessing about Sam, watching his body language, and just knowing what he was doing from the way his mattress squeaked.

 “When you love someone... you just know, Sebastian.”

 “That's a non-answer.”

 “No, bro. You can't logic your way through this. Feelings just are.”

 Sebastian shifted his weight and saw his house in the distance. He slowed, hesitating.

 “You know,” Sebastian said, voice soft, “I thought I loved you once.”

 “You still do, Seb. And I love you too, man.”

 Sebastian flushed. “Not like that.”

 “No,” he said, voice as easy as a breeze, “but you can love someone without wanting to like, get inside them. Still, I just know. I know and you know and that's what matters,” he let out a breath, “but look. If you want to know if you love William?”

 “I didn't say that.” Sebastian's cheeks flushed.

 “When you love someone, you just love them. Only you can decide what that means.”

 Sebastian ended the call a few minutes later and when he put the phone in his pocket, felt Will's Frozen Tear stone rub against his knuckles.

 He let out a breath, feeling for a moment like he was standing on a precipice... and it was only going to take one wrong step before he fell off.

 *

 William hopped out of Lewis's pick-up truck and slipped the keys into his pocket late the next afternoon. It was a bright day, the clouds ridiculously fluffy and white against a sky so blue that it stretched to near white the farther he craned his neck.

 Parking for the spring festival was in a huge field. He made his way in, paid the admittance fee and looked around, eyes drinking in the Ferris wheel, twirl-a-whirls and a clattering house of mirrors that had huge lines of crowds circling them. It was still early in the set-up but getting more crowded by the minute. Children with balloons tied to their wrists ran around and screamed in delight. Carnival workers manned booths with huge stuffed prizes hanging from the walls. In the distance, he could see the stage. He grinned, seeing Sebastian's band name “Cracked Star” painted on a musical line-up in big letters to the side.

 He was impressed. He'd never heard Sebastian play. In fact, when pressed, Sebastian had just insisted that the whole endeavor was more of Sam's 'thing' than anyone else's. But a festival this big didn't pull just anyone onto their stage. William smirked. He'd always wanted to bang a musician.

 William crossed the gravel and grassy section of the big event, dodging fellow fair-goers with ease. He caught a glimpse of Sam's blond hair, gelled as high as he could make it, like a big blond homing beacon to his prey. He ducked underneath the barrier that separated out the crowd from the performance area and tracked him. Sam was hauling the last of a big drum kit. Behind the stage with about four other groups, Abigail was standing over Sebastian, who was sitting on an amp, eyes closed as she applied makeup.

 They looked pretty good, he decided. Their punk-rock theme was clear in matching styles of black denim with silver chains and artistic rips. Sebastian wore fingerless gloves, a black net shirt that revealed how muscular his slender frame was, and black jeans with ice blue stitching, rips along his knees and shins. William realized with a stirring of immediate appreciation that his eyeliner gave him a smoky, mysterious look. Anticipation coiled in his belly and he told his libido, _later_.

Abby pulled back, tilting Sebastian's head back and forth. Where Sebastian wore ice blue, she wore neon purple threading through a mini vest. She had on black shorts and high purple socks. Sam was wearing a red t-shirt over dark washed jeans, red dyed in streaks through his hair, exaggerated red eyeliner. He huffed and put the kit down, apparently exhausted from the set-up. Still, the silly fucker didn't seem to let it keep him down. His face broke into a cheerful burst of excitement when he saw William.

 “William!” Sam cheered when he came closer. Sebastian turned his head and William realized that he might have to keep Abigail around if she was capable of always making Sebastian look so sexy.

 Sebastian stood, stuck his fingers in his pockets and Will could see every line of his shoulders and chest through that neon blue net shirt.

 But as much as he appreciated Sebastian's chest, his eyes locked to the pendant made out of the Frozen Tear that hung around his throat.

 “So?” Sebastian asked, making a negligent wave over himself. “Thoughts?”

 “Knocked from my head,” William answered.

 “Are you two going to be gross?” Abigail asked, rolling her eyes.

 “Only if you're bitchy,” William replied, giving a toothy smile. He laughed when she rolled her eyes. Sam laughed and she glared at him.

 “I keep telling you not to poke the bear, Abby,” Sam said.

 Sebastian huffed and grabbed William by the wrist, dragging him away.

 “Stop torturing Abigail, we need her to play tonight and she vents her spleen on us.”

 “You're pretty tough,” William said lightly, “you can take it.”

 Sebastian turned, opening his mouth to quip something and William took the chance to lean down and kiss him deeply. Sebastian's surprised hum was the most delicious taste that William had that day. He squeezed him close for a hug and pulled back, looking down with satisfaction.

 “Smearing my make up is a good way to torture Abby,” Sebastian said, breathless.

 “Missed you this morning,” William said, pulling him close for a hug.

 “You're touchy today,” Sebastian chuckled into his chest.

 “Get used to it. I'm touchy all the time.”

 Sebastian stilled, cocking his head to look at him, as if understanding something. Will smirked but suddenly felt uneasy under the focused gaze.

 “You are, aren't you?” Sebastian said, folding his fingers into William's shirt. “Bring it on then.”

 William's heart stuttered at the fierce challenge in Sebastian's voice. He felt suddenly unsteady. But... that had been happening a lot with Sebastian.

 “I...”

 “What? Don't you like me when I'm a rock star?” Sebastian teased, releasing his shirt. “Speaking of which, we have mic checks coming up. Come find me after the show.”

 William nodded, still feeling dazed, his mind returning to that scrambling and erotic afternoon a few days before on the hill.

 They kissed once more, a smooth exchange of promises for later, and then William found himself at loose ends.

 It didn't take him long to decide that spring festivals were boring when you were by yourself.

 He wasn't hungry, so the food trucks, though smelling delicious, were not worth battling a crowd for. He did buy one of the yards of beer from a nearby booth and meandered through the crowds of Victoryburg. Children were everywhere, going on rides and screaming in delight at clowns folding balloon animals. He passed pony rides, different huge mechanical set-ups of small roller-coasters and carnival fun and took notes of which games probably weren't rigged and which ones definitely were.

 He hadn't meant to go into the advertising booths, but despite his attempts to avoid it, he found himself in front of a huge Joja stall, declaring the restorative power of the newest wonder drug that the Joja Pharmaceuticals were pushing that year.

 He skimmed a sign as he drank his beer, creating a small game. Whenever he passed a resentful looking Joja-slave, he took a sip. Every time he saw marketing lies, he took a long swallow. The stupid Joja jingle was two sips.

 SEVEN OUT OF EIGHT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS AGREE THAT JOJAJUICE WILL LENGTHEN YOUR LIFE!

 He snorted. Not doctors. Medical Professionals. That meant that anyone who worked at a medical job and considered themselves professionals could shill for the mega-monster. He wiped the foam from his beard. He'd run out of beer at this rate.

 He skimmed the booth, amused and disgusted by the crappy advertising tactics, making record time on his drink, when he froze over a familiar face in the pictures.

 Cameron. As in, Cameron Baker, his own fucking ex-fiance, was wearing scrubs and a white jacket while holding a bottle of the newest product, his trademark white teeth bright against his brown skin. The text above his head read, “Ask your doctor about JojaJuice today!”

 William tilted the entire long tube up to his mouth and swallowed. He sighed but alas, the magical properties of beer did not take away the fact that Cameron really had sold his soul to Joja and was their poster boy.

 He stepped closer, frowning, squinting for the disclaimer, for the fine print. As he did, nearing the booth he heard a familiar sound... one that matched the poster he was studying.

 “You need to calm down. This isn't that bad.” Oh yeah. He knew that soothing tone. Had heard it too many times, focused on him.

 “You are a fucking idiot, Cam. I swear. What the fuck did you do before I took you in?” the unfamiliar voice snapped. William, who had been prepared to turn and walk the opposite direction, froze at the sneering tone. Who. The Hell. Was talking to Cameron that way?

 He knew, sincerely knew, that turning that corner was a bad fucking idea. Because A—he didn't WANT anything to do with Cameron anymore. Cameron was not his problem. That had ended... multiple times, each time dying a bit harder. And B—he knew the moment he did, he'd be involved no matter his desires.

 “Roy, baby, please, just calm down and—”

 The sound of a slap was unmistakable. Flesh on flesh. A sharp inhale.

 “Why do you make me punish you this way, Cam? Look at you. You're a mess. You'd better ice that. We have a photoshoot tomorrow.”

 William turned the corner to see Cameron, of all fucking people, standing in a guarded position, a hand on his cheek, his eyes focused on the ground. It was the most wrong thing he'd ever seen. Cameron was a confident and sassy man. The first night they'd met, he and William had wound up in a brawl with another unit that was trash-talking their grinding on a dance floor. Cameron wore glitter and sparkles, threw dishes when he was mad and had never hesitated to put William in his place whenever their tempers had sparked.

 The man William knew was hard to see in the curled figure flinching away...from the CEO of Joja that he'd had pointed out to him by the fucking wizard and guild master.

 “Hey,” William snapped. “Asshole.”

 Cameron's head snapped up as though he'd been zapped. His eyes widened in horror as he saw William standing at the edge of the tent.

 “Will?”

 The CEO glanced up from his phone. “This is a restricted area.”

 “Maybe next time don't beat up my friend where I can hear it.”

 The CEO narrowed his eyes, looking him up and down.

 “Who the hell is this gangbanger, Cameron?”

 Cameron crossed the space between them and dug his fingers into William's forearm.

 “Just an old patient, Roy. I'll take care of it.”

 “Whatever,” Roy snarled, shoving his phone in his pocket. “I am going to be late.” He turned and walked off.

 William started to move towards him, about to remind him that, hey asshole, they were having a conversation here, but Cameron's apparent timidness didn't extend to William. He dug fingers into William's elbow and hissed, “Do not do this to me, Will, for the love of God. I do need him angrier later.”

 William jerked his arm out of Cameron's and swapped the grip, snagging his ex by the elbow and dragging him out of the Joja tent.

 “Hey!” Cameron cried, looking around. But William was too pissed.

 He dragged Cameron out of the tent, out of the arena of an audience and closer to the concert hall. The fuck if he was missing Sebastian's performance to deal with Cameron Baker drama. He found a mostly isolated zone near a set of tarped-off crates and let go of Cam's arm.

 “What the FUCK is your problem, Bauer!” Cameron shouted, fists clenched. He looked elegant, William observed, with his mock turtleneck and classy blazer. But it looked as though William's own personal talent of pissing off saints was holding true judging by the red spots on his cheeks.

 “The fuck is MY problem? I don't know, Baker,” he snapped back, “when did you sell your fucking soul to Joja?”

 “That is none of your business!”

 “Okay? Right. Totally. Does my MOTHER know that you're letting some douchenozzle in a tie smack you around like his own personal monkey?”

 Cameron's hand shot out and Will accepted the openhanded blow across his cheek. He sighed, giving Cameron an 'are you fucking serious' look. Cameron flinched back, covering his mouth in shock at his violence.

 “How long have you been waiting to do that?” William asked, dryly. The hit hadn't hurt. None of Cameron's blows had ever hurt. But he remembered the pattern of their fights like an old song and he dug into his pocket for his clean handkerchief as Cameron's brown eyes began to swell with tears.

 “ _Fuck you_ ,” Cameron hissed at him, snatching the offered handkerchief from him. He covered his eyes, inhaling for patience.

 “Tale as old as time, Baker,” William said, but he couldn't infuse the words with the same remembered malice.

 “Why are you even here?” Cameron asked, his voice doing an admirable job of staying steady. Cynically, William remembered fights that had ended with him standing stoically while Cameron wailed unintelligible words of fury and grief before sagging against him. He'd always comforted him in the past, always accepted the blame for whatever conflict that had come about.

 Not today.

 “Sebastian is playing with his band.”

 “Seb—oh. Your new toy,” Cameron sniffed.

 “Bitchiness doesn't become you, Cam,” Will said, his ears straining for the announcer. “Look. Fine. Whatever. Fuck you. I am not in the mood for getting stuck in your drama. You don't want my help? Fine. Return my handkerchief to Mom.”

 He turned away, but like an old dance step he felt Cameron snag his shirt tail. He froze, inhaled and closed his eyes.

 “Wait,” William heard him whisper.

 William turned his head.

 “It's... I... look. Can I see you this weekend?”

 Unease twisted in his stomach but... fuck. Cameron's shoulders had lost their rage. Instead he was looking at, once again, that broken man that Roy had slapped. For a moment the old Cameron had shown through, but as much as he hated being drawn back into the endless whirlpool of Cameron's problems, he couldn't help but remember how many times it had been his own fault that the whirlpool had enough momentum for another turn.

 He closed his eyes but then, as if the words were pulled from him, growled, “Fine. Meet me at my parents' house Sunday. Mom is probably hosting a damn brunch. We'll talk.”

 Cameron waffled. Probably he wanted to meet somewhere in private. Tough nuts.

 “Okay. Okay. Sunday brunch at Angie's.”

 William narrowed his eyes and then nodded once.

 This time Cameron didn't try and stop him and he felt his stomach drop.

 Fuck. What was he going to tell Sebastian?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, for sticking with me for all this time! 
> 
> Next update will be Saturday and then we will have a week-long hiatus while I actually beat an outline into place for the remaining chapters.
> 
> I write two chapters a week and while I can see the light at the end of my tunnel, the comments, kudos, and bookmarks are what keep me going. I appreciate all of you!


	37. Hard to Handle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you forever and ever to the fantastic Turtle Totem who went through and beta'd this chapter.
> 
> Trigger warning reference to an attempted sexual assault, anxiety attacks, realistic portrayals of friendship, the Anger of William Bauer and traffic cones.
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT AS OF NOVEMBER 7-  
> I’m sure some people are checking back here Wednesday for the new chapter but due to a coworker having surgery last week and being out, a lot of my writing schedule got eaten by overtime at the office. So ch 38 is happening Saturday instead so I can devote the time it needs. Thank you everyone for your continued support! I haven’t had to push an update until now but even I know my limits. See you Saturday! -Draco

The first time that Sebastian had gotten on a stage, he’d been terrified by the eyes staring at him. Their first gig had gone terribly, with him sweating bullets, Abigail missing the beat and Sam actually giving such terrible feedback on their cheap amp that a couple of people left the bar. It had, Sebastian decided, probably been the worst performance of their garage band’s history. Yet, even though he was ready to call it quits, Sam had dug in, determined to try again.

So they’d gone to another gig the next week at a different bar and didn’t suck so bad.

That was the thing about these gigs. Even though part of Sebastian was pretty convinced that he was going to die if he went out on the stage, he never did. That was… freeing.

So when they rolled their equipment up on the platform and stood in front of the hundred or so people, he felt them. He always felt those eyes, staring and judging him. Maybe they thought he was too skinny. Or maybe they could see that he wasn’t as confident as Sam. Probably they wondered if could even play the keyboard. Yet as soon as Sam stepped up to the mic, all the eyes went to him. Maybe, Sebastian thought as he finished clicking the settings into place on his keyboard, that was the key to what he was attracted to. Someone who would take all the attention off of his nervousness and let him fade into the background.

“HELLO VICTORYBURG!” Sam called into the mic, his body language open and free. The crowd responded to his energy with a surge of applause and cheers. He smiled in spite of himself. Sam was infectious on that stage, feeding off of the eyes and attention like a sunflower turning to the bright rays of the solar star. 

“WE ARE. BROKEN STAR!”

And with that intro, he set the mic back as Abby began to let the drums beat. Sebastian rolled his fingers over the keys and Sam crooned ‘Baaaabayy’ into the mic and threw his arm down, rolling a smooth chord over the amp. Sebastian’s fingers danced over white plastic as Abby set the rhythm over the drum kit and cymbals. It was like a clicking a key into place in his memory. They played, and Sebastian began to forget his nerves as the music flowed, the drumbeat that Abby laid down driving out the fight or flight response into the need to just follow the thumping beat of the music.

He didn’t miss that every time Sam shouted, “hey little mama, let me light your candle” he made eyes back at Abby before turning his body to the audience who sang, “sure hard to handle” at him.

Sebastian skimmed the crowd, his fingers moving with muscle memory. William stood out, blond hair and golden beard framing his face like a beacon. He couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face as he saw him, felt his cheeks flush and he ducked his head, focusing on not missing a beat as he poured sound into the energizing blend that seemed to just fuel Sam into a rocking dance. He shifted his fingers and began a repetitive riff on his keyboard as the song made it to the guitar solo, then swapped to the drum focus. It was excellent to see Abigail and Sam volley the focus back and forth.

The crowd loved it, singing the old familiar cover with enthusiasm and vigor.

Sebastian ran his fingers over the keys, about to finish the song when he looked up and saw THEM.

Three members of his old gridball team, standing in a trio and laughing at the edge of the crowd.

His fingers fumbled and he picked up the last notes before they switched to the next song.

All the comfort he’d felt before was shattered.

They were standing there, looking at him, pointing and laughing at one another.

Sweat gathered on his neck.

He shouldn’t be freaking out. He’d had to go six months to high school with them after all. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen them since the Incident.

But just seeing their faces as he stood, in makeup, with half his chest exposed in a shirt he’d picked out specifically to make William crazy… god. He swallowed, feeling lightheaded.

He closed his eyes and tried to focus. Tried to listen to Abby’s drumbeat. Tried to remember the next part of the song. They still had 2 more left in the set. Two more and they’d be done.

His hands were shaking though and he couldn’t keep up the music. He stepped back, feeling horrified and mortified and knew he had to get off that stage where they couldn’t see him or he was going to throw up on everything.

Sam’s head swung sideways as Sebastian stopped playing, nearly tripped over the power cables and backed off the stage.

He was ruining it, he realized. He was ruining Sam’s show. But he couldn’t help it. He’d lost the beat. He’d lost the focus. He couldn’t stand up on that stage with those men LOOKING at him, knowing that they’d seen him LIKE THAT on that bench…he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t see. Spots were forming in front of his eyes and he just knew… knew that he was going to lose it.

When was the last time he’d had a panic attack? His chest hurt. His eyes burned but he wasn’t crying, just couldn’t get enough air. They were there and his hands… why wouldn’t his hands work?

“Sebastian?”

He whipped his head around and saw Will, who had…somehow gotten backstage during the show, blue eyes locked onto him like a magnet. He swallowed. He’d never told him. He’d never told anyone but Sam. And he wouldn’t have told Sam but Sam had BEEN there. Had taken him off the awful bench. Oh god, he couldn’t TELL him. Couldn’t have him knowing that yet… couldn’t let anyone know. Sebastian swung his head away from Will, trying to think of words, something that would hold him back, something that would pull the panicked feeling inside. Yet as his eyes cast around, he froze. Along the back end of the staging areas was a stack of orange cones for traffic control. 

He’d passed cones before.

These didn’t look a thing like the practice cones that had been waved in front of his face.

But it didn’t matter.

Sebastian turned his head and vomited.

*

William wasn’t sure what the fuck had happened. One minute Sebastian had been playing on stage, sexy and mysterious, that small smile as he’d rolled long fingers over the keys. Clean and healthy and just fucking happy. It was a good look on him. The trio looked electric and in tune. William enjoyed it. Sam had a good voice and even though he and Abby seemed to be eye-fucking one another, he could forgive it. Hell, Sam was a better target for whatever attention Abigail had. Maybe they would all hang out after and he and Sebastian could nudge it into something more than just stage flirting. 

He was enjoying the dancing. Even hollered back lyrics with the rest of the audience. Then Sebastian’s face changed. His smile slipped off of his face and he stopped playing, his eyes focused off into the crowd. William turned his head, trying to figure out what could have brought such sudden horror and terror into his lover’s face. He skimmed around but could only see people. Nothing horrible that he could identify. He turned back towards the stage but Sebastian wasn’t any better. He looked sick.

Just as William began to make his way up to the stage, Sebastian turned tail, a frightened creature. William couldn’t fathom what had brought that much fear into him. The effect was instantaneous. Sam continued singing but he was watching Sebastian, his face concerned. Then he too skimmed the crowd, eyes narrowing in fury at whatever he saw. Abby’s sticks lost the beat as Sebastian ran past her. Yet Sam continued to play, stuck in his role as the entertainer, keeping their show going. William found a break in the crowd and surged after him. He remembered the way backstage from earlier, ducking underneath a laughable barrier. Some carnie worker started to say something to him but one look backed the guy off. William dug his way back to the staging area only to see Sebastian stumbling towards the open bed of Robin’s truck.

“Sebastian!” he called, hoping his words could break through whatever haze of terror he was experiencing. His heart pounded and twisted to see the jerky motions that Sebastian made, his fingers opening and closing. As he approached his mom’s vehicle his hand shot out and he braced himself on the tailgate of the truck. William was almost close enough to touch him when Sebastian turned his head to vomit. William let his inquiry die in his throat. Asking if Sebastian was okay was clearly stupid. He was the exact opposite of any spectrum of Okay.

William put a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, kept it tight and pulled his hair back as his boyfriend threw up then coughed, dry heaving. Sebastian was trembling like a leaf, eyes wild and not tracking his surroundings. William reached into his pocket and remembered with a curse that he’d given Cameron his handkerchief. Guilt and concern warred through his head but he shoved it aside, trying to put Sebastian’s distress in front of his need to FIX this.

“Hey,” he said, eyes skimming the area, “hey. Calm down.”

In answer, Sebastian spit and rubbed his wrist over his lips, pupils were blown with stress. He swayed on his feet, lost. William pulled him close and in the background vaguely heard Sam giving an enthusiastic called off, “That’s our show, folks!”

One song? No way. Sam was ending the show early to come check on Sebastian. Good man. William was grateful to have some back-up in dealing with whatever it was that had turned his boyfriend from confident rockstar to frightened mouse. Sebastian dug fingers into his back and William noted that his palms were sweaty and skin clammy. He let out a breath. At least Sebastian wasn’t pushing him away.

“Shhhhh,” William said, rubbing a grounding circle into his back, trying to put enough pressure into the motion to link the poor guy to the here and now. Enough pressure to lock him into place so that he might get some words out of him. Because William had decided that who or whatever had caused that reaction was about to spend their very last moments on the earth.

“Will?” The sound was thready and hoarse, Sebastian's throat obviously sore from heaving up whatever had been lunch.

“Yeah, babe.” He was rewarded by Sebastian clutching him tighter. He pressed a kiss to the top of Sebastian’s head. “It’s me. Hey, here. Relax. I got you.” He glanced over his shoulder and saw with relief that Sam was taking the backstage stairs two at a time and tearing over to their area. Finally, some answers. Sam slid to a stop and reached out, his hand resting on Sebastian’s shoulder. 

“Seb, hey, Seb…”

Sebastian shuddered at the touch but lifted his face from where he’d buried it in William’s chest. William kept his arms tense, not willing to give up any of the pressure on Sebastian’s body.

“What the fuck happened up there?” William asked as Sebastian pushed against him. He reluctantly released his grip. Sebastian’s face was pale and he was still sweating. That eyeliner had smeared a bit into two smudges around his eyes giving him a sunken look.

“They’re here, Sam,” Sebastian choked out. “Saw them. Three of them in the corner of the field… god…” He turned away from them both and dry heaved.

Confusion mingled with anger and the deep protective need to handle whatever was upsetting Sebastian so badly. They? Excellent. A Target for all this anger.

“WHO the fuck is here,” William snarled. Sebastian flinched at William’s growl began to shudder harder. He dropped his arms, giving Sebastian space. Abby joined them, her eyes wide with terror at what she was seeing. Sam ran his fingers through his gelled hair and sighed.

“Seb, dude, it’s okay. We can leave.”

William narrowed his eyes, not appreciating being left out of whatever the fuck was going on here.

“Samuel,” he said softly, “I am not fucking around. Someone is going to tell me what the fuck has him so upset or so help me—”

“Leave it, Will.” Sebastian whimpered, his hand locking on William’s wrist.

“Leave it? You look like someone just scared the fuck out of you. You think I don’t know what an anxiety attack looks like?”

William was rewarded with more shuddering.

“I’m taking him home,” Sam said, firm, pushing Will’s arm off Sebastian.

Ice settled into William’s chest.

“Bastian, talk to me,” he whispered, leaning down. “Don’t shut me out of this.”

“Will. Just. Just leave it alone. Just… I’m okay.”

“We can have this conversation later,” Sam said, putting a hand on Sebastian’s back. “William, how did you get to the fair?”

“Borrowed Lewis’s truck. And we DAMN sure can have this conversation NOW. You’re not taking him anywhere. Not without me,” he said, irritated.

“Nah man,” Sam said, an arm underneath Sebastian’s shoulder. “We don’t need none of that. You want to help? Help Abby get the gear into Mayor Lew’s truck. Abby, can you go home with William?”

“Hey!,” William snapped, “who the fuck died and made you King, Sam? I just sai—”

“And I said it can fucking wait. Seb will talk to you about this when he’s not 3 sheets of fucked up, 'kay?”

William closed his fingers into fists. If Sam wasn’t Sebastian’s best friend, William would have lost his fucking temper by now. The fuck that Sam was the one comforting Sebastian. He was the one who had that job, not Sam. Yet, Sebastian was nodding at what Sam had to say, following his lead as he walked him towards the cab of the truck. He growled, impotent fury fighting his jealousy. 

“It’s okay, William,” Abigail said, her hand on William’s forearm, “I’ll get it all together quick. We’ll be right behind them.”

Leave it.

William closed his eyes as Sam shut the door of the cab. He opened them when Sam stopped in front him.

“This isn’t the time for your need to rage against the world, William,” Sam said, his easy face worn with strain. “You going to be level enough to get our gear and my girl Abby home?”

Abby made a soft sound beside him but for some reason that William couldn’t decipher, he couldn’t maintain his rage in the face of Sam’s cool attitude.

“This is so beyond okay, it might as well be in another fucking country, Sam.”

“Agreed,” he said. “But it’s not about you or me. It’s about Sebastian. And if you care about him like you claim, you will not make what is already a fucked situation worse.”

William wanted to hit him. Badly. And probably that was a sign that Sam was right. How they expected him to just stand by while Sebastian was clearly being tormented by some mysterious Them out in the fucking crowd, he didn’t know… but Sam, damn his stupid fucking face, was right. It wasn’t about him, was it?

“We’ll be right behind you.”

“Come to my place then. Seb might be willing to talk by then,” Sam said, before snapping the tailgate up and circling the truck to get into the driver’s seat.

William felt it was all wrong. Too much that he didn’t know and no one was giving him a road map through whatever ravine he was stepping into.

*

The locker room had smelled like sweat and mold. The bench had been smooth and damp from his sweat and tears, wood grain against his cheek. He shuddered as memories racked him, tried to breathe and couldn’t, spots still present behind his eyes.

“Seb,” Sam said, rolling down a window, “Sebastian, hey.”

He felt guilty and so unsteady he couldn’t track Sam’s words. He heard a click and a moment later he smelled the familiar, calming scent of tobacco. Sam handed him the lit cigarette and with a shaking hand, Sebastian took it, rolling down the window a second later to release the smoke out into the darkening sky. He took one, two… three drags, the nicotine hitting his brain like a blanket of relief. He let out another long breath and managed to tap the cigarette out the window before the long line of ash fell onto his lap.

The tears were in the back of his head but he didn’t want to let them go.

They’d been there. They’d been watching him on that stage.

They’d tied him down and nearly…

He turned his head and coughed, the gagging bringing up nothing but sickly sweet saliva. He pulled his knees up and shuddered. Sam let out a long breath and said softly, “Watch that cig. You’ll burn a hole through your pants.”

“Will knows.”

“Knows what? That you’re having a panic attack? Yeah, sorry bro, he managed to figure that out.”

Sebastian shook his head and took another pull on the cigarette, pulling on his hair. “Did you tell him?”

“No. No, of course, I didn’t tell him,” Sam said, “Sebastian, he’d fucking go kill them, are you kidding?”

The words did something to the panic, to the memory spiral, the new data interrupting the loop.

“What?”

“Okay, look, no offense to your big-ass bear of a man-toy, but he would kill them. No, I didn’t fucking tell him while they were where he could possibly get his hands on them. I’m not stupid.”

Will? Kill them? Sebastian dug for his cigarettes, finishing the one in his hand, starting to feel a small bit less shaky. Sam absently handed him the pack and he remembered that he’d left them in the center console when he, Abby and Sam had driven up that morning. He dug for his lighter and Sam sighed, handing him that too. He felt clumsy and stupid, unable to process and to calculate anything beyond the unwelcome flashbacks… the duct tape on his wrists and how it tore the hair from his arms… and how it had felt to know, the moment… to know the moment that William knew about what had happened he’d not want to touch him. Would know that he was a broken, dirty weakling who’d let himself get caught like a mouse in a trap.

“Will wouldn’t…”

“YES,” Sam said over him, frustrated, “He is a fucking SOLDIER, Sebastian. When are you going to see that? Yes. He would KILL them. Just like if something like that happened to ME and my father found out, he would go KILL them. That’s what soldiers do. They kill people. They go away for a long time and when they come back, they are able to Kill people. It’s how the military works, Sebastian.” 

Sebastian felt like Sam had dumped water over his head, suddenly clearing out all of the shadows of terror with a sharply comforting truth.

If William knew… he would kill them. Not blame him, but kill them.

Sebastian lit the next cigarette and after a moment unfolded his legs.

“He… he would.”

“Yes, dumbass. And since I figure long distance isn’t exactly your idea of a good date, I didn’t tell him. But you’re going to have to.”

Sebastian shuddered and sucked on the nicotine deliverance system, his breathing starting to calm.

“I feel like an idiot. A dramatic, ridiculous, idiot,” he whispered.

“YOU feel stupid? I just stood up to William fucking Bauer when his man was in danger. Excuse me if I don’t count myself the lucky to be alive right now,” Sam said, amusement in his voice. 

“He wouldn’t hurt you,” Sebastian said automatically.

“Oh god. You really just don’t know that guy at all sometimes, Seb,” but Sam was laughing now.

“I do know him!” Sebastian snapped back, feeling defensive.

“Maybe you know how to kiss him, but when was the last time you like, learned something about him? Like. You guys hang out, sure, but what’s his favorite color?”

Sebastian opened his mouth and then shut it.

“Abby’s is purple,” Sam said softly. “She likes all the hues of it. She likes it from when the sun is setting and she likes the way blues blend with pink. She likes it on flowers and on amethyst stones. What’s Will’s favorite food?”

“Uh…”

“Abigail likes that pufferfish sushi we get when we’re in the city. What does Abby want to do with her life, hmm?”

“You know, you and Abby have known each other since high school. Will and I have been dating less than a month. This isn’t exactly fair.”

“Okay, dickcheese,” Sam snapped back, “you want to talk about fair? How about always leaving me to hold the fucking bag when you lose your shit?”

Sebastian flinched and Sam growled in annoyance, running his hand through his hair. The red dyed stripes Abby had carefully sprayed into place was starting to smear and fade, giving Sam more of a pink stripe than the fire-engine red line she’d painted.

“Sorry I—”

“No, I’m not—jeez, no. I’m not snapping at you for your freakout. You couldn’t help that. But. Like. Ugh,” Sam leaned his head back and then looked back up at the road. “Sebastian. You just need to realize that you can’t HIDE this event that happened to you from him if you want to have a real relationship.”

“But WHY? Why does he have to know? I can just say I had an anxiety attack. I can just…say the lights gave me pro—”

“Three of the guys who tried to rape you with a cone were in the crowd of our concert,” Sam said, his voice cool. Sebastian flinched.

“Fuck you, dude.”

“No. No, Sebastian, not fuck me. Fuck you. You can’t hide something like that when you had such a public freak-out. You can’t hold it back when you probably scared the fuck out of him.”

Sebastian lit another cigarette, the last one nearing burnt to the filter. He sighed and looked out of the window, recalling bits and pieces of the fight near the truck. He closed his eyes. Guilt and shame boiled in his chest. Will had been worried. Will had tried to help him and he’d just left.

“Fuck.”

“I know you don’t want to. I know you don’t want anyone to know. I’ve never told, okay. Ever. And like, I get it. I get why William would want to kill those fuckers. What they did?” Sam shook his head. “Inexcusable. And they never got punished for it. So don’t think I’m so fucking saintly that I wouldn’t want to see them roughed up a bit for revenge. But William is an extreme kind of dude, Seb. You need to keep that in mind. The military man. My dad? When he comes back from tour? He’s going to be jumpy for months. It’s what happens. He’ll be different. They always are. When you love a soldier? You accept that shit. So recognize that.”

Sebastian realized with a feeling of dread that he was on his last cigarette. He carefully folded the pack around it and put it in his pocket.

“Thanks.”

Sam sighed and then reached over and squeezed his shoulder, pulling off on the Pelican Town exit. “Don’t thank me yet. He might decide he hates my face for not letting him tag along and rearrange it for me as like, favor or some shit.”

Sebastian didn’t respond to that. He didn’t know what he could say. He swallowed, his mouth tasting like ash, but it was better than the sickly sweet nausea had come in waves.

How. How was he going to tell Will?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL! Isn't that a great chapter to take a week off from?
> 
>  
> 
> ~~I will return to the posting with Chapter 38 on Wednesday, November the 8th, 2017 between 8-10 CST.~~  
>  **Due to life circumstances beyond my control, the next update is scheduled for Saturday! Then the schedule will continue it's normal 2x a week manic pace between now and chapter 50, barring unforeseen circumstances.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Please know that this is a long endeavor and your encouragement in the form of kudos, comments, recs and bookmarks help me in my lonely authorial tower of solitude. I love you all and thank you for sticking with me through this ride.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Until next time!**


	38. Hatched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for:  
> -discussion of trauma  
> -discussion of abuse  
> -Misunderstandings  
> -Abigail fucking with shit

Loading the truck was an unexpected pain in the ass.

It wasn’t that the equipment was heavy. It was that Lewis had made it a point to collect every tool known to Yoba and beyond, and hidden any tie-downs underneath a tarp under said tools.

William wanted to get the equipment in the back and then chase Sam and Sebastian down like the proverbial bats out of hell.

Instead, here he was with Abby, just now packaging up Lewis’s sundry rusted tire jacks, tire irons, patch kits, gauge meters, caution signs, and other nonsense that the small town Mayor had apparently thought absolutely necessary to keep in his kit at all times.

“And I thought my dad was bad about keeping old shit,” Abby groaned when Will had snapped the last box into place.

“When I get a truck, I will be dead before I see it cluttered up like this,” he growled, snapping the tailgate down so that they could begin to stack the drums, amps, mic stands and sound equipment underneath the old tarp.

“Farm life paying so good that you’re going to buy a car?”

“Truck,” he corrected, as Abby made quick work of breaking down the drum kit. She had cases for the big drums, and dragged a rug over that went underneath it. She worked quickly and he started to feel like maybe the half hour they’d spent going through Lewis’s crap wasn’t going to slow them down too terribly if she were this efficient at handling the equipment.

“Whatever. It has wheels. It can drive you places. Sam and I can use his mom’s car sometimes. Sebastian has his motorcycle.”

Sebastian’s name brought another surge of urgency. He pulled the round case that Abby was handing him and laid it down with force.

“Hey! Watch it, William. That drum cost me almost a year’s worth of babysitting money.”

He frowned.

“They’re your drums? I thought—”

“Thought what, that Sam had bought them? Hell no. _I_ did. They just live at his house because mom can’t stand the noise.”

He cocked his head and then was more careful with the rest of the drum-cases. She knelt and began to roll the rug into a tube. He hopped down, hauling the heavy thing up on his shoulders and sliding it inside.

“I didn’t realize. Sorry.”

She squinted at him as if waiting for the trick. When he didn’t say anything else, she pushed her hair over one ear, the bracelets and earring she’d been wearing jingling.

“It’s not a big deal,” she murmured, side stepping him. “No damage done.”

“Look,” William said, scanning the ground for anything they’d left. “We might have gotten off on the wrong foot Abby, but we're on the same side here.” He pulled himself back up and began to snap rust-stained bungee cables and crank the tie-downs to secure the equipment. She regarded him for a minute then reached forward, helping him, the silent acknowledgment of his peacemaking. After they were done, she stepped back.

“Get in,” he grunted, snapping the tailgate closed and jumping out of the back.

Abigail didn’t have to be told twice, hauling her little body up the big step and already snapping her seatbelt in while he started them up.

Finally, almost an hour behind Sam and Sebastian, they were on their way home.

William felt like he’d been coiled on a spring, his heart beating a steady staccato rhythm.

Something had scared the shit out of Sebastian, but no one knew what.

Something had made him so terrified that he’d thrown up.

Someone had upset someone who belonged to William, and no one had the common decency to point them out for their rightful slaughter.

He tightened his fingers on the wheel and realized that Abby had been completely silent next to him. He glanced sideways and then realized, uncomfortably, that he was freaking her out.

She was leaned as far away from him as the small truck cab would allow, her knees pulled up to her chest, her head turned away from him, looking at the trees that were passing by, her fingers tight on her knees.

He sighed and tried to make himself relax. It was still a while before they got back to Pelican Town. No need for the girl to give herself cramps just by sitting next to him.

“You okay?”

She shrugged, still looking out the window.

“C’mon, Spooky,” he said, his voice gentling, even though inside he was a stressed out mess. “No need to give me the silent treatment here.”

She took a breath and when he heard the hitch in her throat he closed his eyes for a second, before peeling them open and focusing on the road. Damn Cameron and his handkerchief theft. He was going to have to start carrying more than one.

“I’m just… really worried, okay. I’ve… I’ve only ever seen Sebastian like that once, okay, and like, I can’t figure out what happened.”

He turned his head, sensing answers if he just could ask the right questions.

He reached over to the glove box and popped it open, finding the stack of napkins he’d left there from the breakfast he’d grabbed on his way into Victoryburg. He peeled a few off and snapped it closed, handing her the paper. Abby took it and blew her nose, then wiped her eyes, streaking the purple make up that she’d painted on. She let out a sigh and looked at him sideways.

“When did you see him like that?” he asked, careful to keep his body language neutral and his tone light. He couldn’t help the hand that was still gripping the steering wheel.

She sighed, rubbing her face.

“It was at the end of our junior year. We were at like, this bonfire and a few seniors had crashed it. Nothing big, I thought. But you know, Sebastian had been like, on the gridball team in high school back when we were freshies. Some dude from his team had always given him a hard time for quitting right before homecoming.”

William frowned.

Sebastian? Gridball?

“He doesn’t seem like he’s into sports,” he said carefully.

Abigail snorted.

“That’s a fucking understatement,” she said, wiping her face again. “Sebastian turned into a damn pod person our freshman year. He joined the gridball team, started hanging out with Hailey and Alex at school, became like, a super prep for a year.”

“Super prep?”

“You know, team jersey, jeans that were like, mainstream. Polo shirts. Non-ironic khakis. He even kept his hair short. It was weird. _He_ was weird. He and Sam didn’t talk for-fucking-ever. Then one day, right around homecoming, I come over to hang out with Sam, and boom. Sebastian’s back, moodier than ever. He grew his hair out and was just… I don’t know what happened. They would never talk about it. But he and Sam were back to being best friends and I was just…” She looked at him sideways and William grimaced, because that was probably when the torch she’d been carrying had lit. “Well. I had my reasons for being glad he was back, okay.”

“It’s okay, Abby,” William said. “I know that you had feelings for him and… I know this has to be awkward right now.”

She barked a laugh.

“Awkward? Sasquatch, you have a _gift_ for understatement.”

He felt his spine relax at the insult. If Abby was insulting him, something was going back to normal.

“Don’t know what you mean,” he said mildly.

She rubbed her head and sighed, but then unfolded her knees, putting her feet on the floor boards.

“William, you might think I was like, some kind of dumbass to not know that Sebastian was gay, but _how_ was I supposed to know? He never told me. SAM knew and never told me. We would hang out with people all the time. And he would sit next to girls and hold hands with some, sometimes. He would put his arm over my shoulder too, you know? It wasn’t like he made it obvious. Not until YOUR hairy butt moved to town, anyway.”

“You want me to apologize?” William asked, looking at her sideways.

She rubbed her fingers against her elbows, leaning back. She let the moment stretch before shaking her head, her earrings clinking softly.

“No. I want Sebastian and Sam to.”

He blinked.

She absently kicked a foot at the dash, not hard, but enough to leave a boot print on the faded vinyl. He frowned, but it wasn’t his truck. He’d wipe it down later.

“Why?”

“Because!” she exploded. “They’ve been doing this shit to me for SO LONG. Keeping secrets. Keeping me out of whatever is going on. Not telling me if there is a big change, just expecting that I’ll roll with it. Fuck, Squatch, it makes me feel so fucking _stupid._ If Sebastian had just told me that he was gay? God, I could have moved on from him so long ago! It’s not fucking fair.” She kicked the dash again.

“So,” he said, trying to steer the conversation back to his goal. “Sebastian freaked out like this before?”

“Yeah. Me and a few of my band mates were hanging around a bonfire when—”

“High school drumline? I’m trying to imagine you marching around with a snare.”

“I played the flute,” she sniffed.

He glanced at her sideways and raised an eyebrow. “How rock and roll.”

“Exactly,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But mom thought it would be more ‘lady-like.’”

“Has your mom met you?”

She punched his shoulder then winced, shaking out her hands.

“What are your arms made out of? Jeez.”

“The broken skulls of my enemies,” William deadpanned. “I eat them for breakfast.”

“You are ridiculous. How did Sebastian even find you? He search Neanderthal and you were the first dating profile that popped up?”

William shrugged. “Not quite. Someone was messing with him. I convinced them not to.”

“Oh, I’m sure I can imagine how that played out.”

William glared. “I can be diplomatic.”

She broke into giggles and he scowled.

“Oh! Oh, yeah. Totally. About as diplomatic as a sock full of batteries.”

He looked back at the road, frowning.

“Look,” Abigail said, still smiling. “You can’t just beat all of Sebastian’s problems to a pulp.”

“Seems like a waste of good Ferngill taxes on all my training.”

She rolled her eyes. “It might FEEL good to you, but the problems don’t go away Will. They just come back with a lawyer. Whatever or whoever upset Seb, you can’t punch it _better_ , okay. Learn from beating on Morris.”

William sighed, wondering if he’d ever live down that moment in his life.

“Why does everyone keep bringing up teaching Morris a lesson? Your dad thinks I’m awesome.”

“It’s a small town, dumbass. No one forgets anything. Like the time Sam dropped rotten fish in the luau soup. Or the time I thought I could jump off the roof with only an umbrella to break my fall. Or the time Penny got caught in a tree while trying to get a kite out. People thought she was peeking on Sam.”

William turned and squinted at her.

“How does your head have room for all these memories?”

She flipped him off, then snapped, “Quit avoiding the subject. You gotta have like, a battle plan or something for how you’re going to NOT be a big giant bear-man about this whole freak out thing, right?”

“Don’t tell me my business, Spooky, I know what I’m about.”

“ _I know what I’m about_ ,” Abigail mocked, rolling her eyes. “Bullshit, Sasquatch. I think half the reason you barrel around town is because you have no clue what you’re doing and you don’t want anyone else to realize it.”

He tightened his fingers on the wheel.

She continued. “Just because you eat like, rocks for breakfast and can make yourself into a patchwork action figure doesn’t mean that you are somehow exempt from the laws of physics, of gravity, or of time. So keep that in mind. Whatever Sebastian is dealing with is going to follow those rules. So learn them, capisce?”

William stared at the road but then relaxed his fingers on the wheel.

After another moment of silence, he reached over and turned on the radio. Abigail accepted this and they road back the rest of the drive to soft country on the local station.

*

Sebastian heard the truck pull up before Sam did.

As Sam was currently engrossed in a video game, this was unsurprising.

Sebastian felt… hollow.

He’d cried out his despair and horror in the truck, thrown up again in Sam’s bathroom, and endured Jodi wrapping him in a blanket as Sam waved off his vomiting as something he’d gotten from a rogue food truck at the fair. Sam had dug out one of the bazillion hoodies that he’d forgotten at his house in the past few years and he’d covered up the ridiculous net shirt with it. It smelled like him, which was comforting, but also like lilac detergent which made it feel off. No tobacco or cedar like his clothes smelled at home. Yet the armor of the familiar garment was too valuable to quibble about smells.

He sat on Sam’s bed, knees to his chest, blanket around his shoulders, wishing to hell he could smoke right now, but alas, he was inside and if he went outside… well, Sam would be there too.

Sebastian’d figured Abigail and William would be beating down the door any minute now, but they were taking forever to follow. His anxiety happily began to relay scenarios why this might be the case.

Such as – Will had realized exactly what a basket case Sebastian was. This was demonstrated by his sudden freak out on a stage in front of dozens of strangers, and his adamant abandonment of his boyfriend in favor of his best friend. Oh yeah, he closed his eyes. That was going to go well.

Then, his brain had supplied another helpful scene of Abigail and William dead on the side of the road, Lewis’s truck flipped on its side while blood stained the glass. Yup, that would fucking figure. Then his last words to Will would be… well fuck, he couldn’t remember what his last words had actually been. So his boyfriend and other best friend were currently dead in a ditch, and he’d have nothing to say at the funeral about what he felt because all he currently felt was a void where something should go.

But then, just as his brain was helpfully painting a meteorite falling from the sky to smash Abby and Will into a melted puddle in the middle of the fair, the wheels of a truck crunched up Sam’s driveway.

A new sort of tension stole over him.

Shit.

He was here.

Sebastian closed his eyes and laid his forehead on his knees, his ears picking out the sound of the truck door, then the tailgate bouncing open. He dug his fingers into his knees as the patter of voices picked up: a feminine alto that ran in and out of the higher registers, Will’s basso that kept a steady tone as they began to unload the truck.

Sam paused his game when he heard the front door, but Sebastian just sank in on himself.

_Shit_.

He should have gone home.

He shouldn’t have just sat here like a damn rock, waiting for William to come by and want to _talk_ about things he couldn’t talk about.

“Seb?”

He nodded his head, hoodie pulled over his eyes, the tip of the hood resting on his nose. He could see his knees, he could smell his own breath, hot and wet as he tried to keep from hyperventilating at the oncoming conversation.

S h i t.

“You level, buddy?”

He swallowed back another vomit-inducing mouthful of saliva and gave a shaky thumbs up.

He didn’t look up from his curled position to see if Sam bought it. Nearly ten years of friendship said no, but then again…

Sam’s door opened and he closed his eyes, blocking out everything else in the room.

“Well, we got it all,” Abigail chirped, grunting.

He heard the squeak of floor boards, counted steps…

…and realized he only heard Abby and Sam. He opened an eye and looked up.

Will wasn’t there.

He sat up, surprised, eyes scanning over Abigail. Her hair, previously hair-sprayed into an elegant fall of curls, looked bedraggled and tired. Her eye make-up was a smear around her face, and the netting she’d had on her fingers torn up a bit.

She clomped her booted feet across the room and dropped the rug that her drum kit usually lived on.

“The mountain yeti unloaded the truck and is on his way to return it to Lewis,” she said, as Sebastian watched her. He exhaled.

“It was good that he helped out so much,” Sam said, coming back inside of his room, the biggest drum carefully balanced between his hands. Abigail sat on the edge of the bed, looking at Sebastian the way you’d view a frightened animal, which, he decided was both humiliating and non-threatening.

“You doing okay, Seb?” she asked, her voice low.

He nodded, and let his shoulders slump, the blanket falling around him.

“Did Will say if he was coming back?” Sam asked.

Abigail hesitated then she shrugged, her face shifting from worry to unconcerned.

“I told him that he’d probably make everything worse,” she said airily.

Sebastian’s jaw dropped.

“Abigail,” Sam began.

She crossed her arms.

“What? It was obvious that Sebastian didn’t want to talk to him after ‘whatever’ the fuck happened today. So I told him that” –she was looking at him now— “if he really cared, he’d give you space.”

Anger burned through the hollowness at her constant meddling.

“You don’t know anything, Abby,” he croaked, shoving off the bed and tossing the blanket down. He stalked over and shoved his feet into his shoes near Sam’s door.

“Where are you going?” Sam asked.

“To Lewis’s. He’ll walk home,” Sebastian snarled, slamming the door behind him as he stomped out towards the darkening street. He vaguely heard Abby behind him imploring Sam to just let him go.

What was with her lately?

*

William’s steps fell heavy as he headed back to Sam’s, rolling over the things he was going to say to Sebastian. It was irritating that Abigail had been right. Battle plan? Sure, he had those. They all began with identifying his targets, then changing their designations from threat to non-threat. Maiming would be a good method of that. However, it wasn’t going to make… whatever had happened go away. He’d have to just… wing it. Despite Abigail dismissing the tactic, it had gotten him this far in life, so he didn’t see the point in changing strategies this late in the game.

He heard footsteps ahead. He looked up to see Sebastian standing in the middle of the sidewalk, eyes wide. He had found a hoodie even though the summer night was making William sweat against his thinner t-shirt. Yet the mix of honest relief on Sebastian’s face made his heart skip.

He’d told Abby he’d drop the truck off and asked her to tell Sebastian he’d be right back.

Apparently he was being slow.

He opened his hands, wanting to say something. Sebastian beat him to it, taking four long strides and then slamming into his chest. William closed his arms around him and shivered as the fear that he was going to be alone again was settled. He was grateful for the potion Rasmodius had given him. Just as the crusty wizard had said, it healed the bones to an… alarming degree.

And as Sebastian was apparently trying to bury himself through blunt force, he was grateful.

He leaned down and inhaled his hair.

“Hey,” he said softly, looking over his head, eyes scanning for anyone who might be watching, since apparently the barest hint of anything out of the ordinary was gossip fodder for the entire village for months.

Sebastian had no self-consciousness though and was giving soft exhales. William swallowed and his mouth moved before his brain did.

“Look,” he tried, sliding his hands around Sebastian’s shoulders. “You don’t have to be ready to talk about this yet… I… get hasty when I’m upset.”

Sebastian gave a derisive snort and then leaned back, rubbing his face.

“Thought you were going home.”

William frowned.

“No, I told Abby that I was going to come back over after dropping off Lewis’s truck. It’s like, a four minute walk, Seb.”

Sebastian froze and then looked up at him slowly, gears whirling behind his eyes. That was the thing he’d been picking up about Sebastian: he just sort of figured things out like a sexy robot.

“That… bitch.” He turned his head, mystified.

“I mean,” William said mildly, “I keep telling y’all Spooky was hatched or something. She’s nothing like Pierre and way too nice to be from her mom. Dragon egg, Bastian. Only explanation.”

Sebastian shook his head and let his shoulders sag.

“No, she was… helping.” He grimaced. “In her way.”

William nodded slowly, not at all following whatever logic train Sebastian seemed to be riding to come to that particular station.

“If you say so.”

Sebastian reached absently into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. He snapped his lighter a few times but it only spit sparks. He scowled and shook it, trying again. Will rolled his eyes, reached into his back pocket and pulled out a fresh bic, lighting the cigarette for him. Then took the pack and lit his own, blowing a cloud of smoke to the sky.

“Since when do you keep a lighter handy?” Sebastian asked as Will fell into step beside him, walking towards, well, wherever Sebastian decided he wanted to go.

“Since I started dating a chimney,” William said. “I got a pack of the smokes you like back at the house too, just in case you run out.”

Sebastian squinted at him.

“What sort of egg did _you_ hatch from?”

William chuckled and then wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

“The asshole eggs. It was left like a cuckoo in mom’s nest and she raised me unknowing that I was an alien.”

Sebastian shook his head but leaned subtly into his touch. They walked next to the river, crossed Marnie’s property and then started up the southern path. For the entire time, Sebastian didn’t speak, just smoked, slowly, letting each puff drag the cherry. They moved in sync, William shortening his strides to match Sebastian’s, his fingers rolling absently over his shoulder. Finally, once they’d crossed the property line and began to get through the trees that William was still clearing, Sebastian spoke.

“Why aren’t you asking me?” he sounded almost accusing.

Will sighed and flicked the cigarette butt out, shoving the spent filter into his pocket, mimicking Sebastian’s habit to not throw the butts down.

“You don’t want me to do that.”

“You want to know, though,” Sebastian said, unable to keep the irritation out of his voice.

“It’s not about me.”

Sebastian shrugged off his arm and glared up at him.

“Since. When?”

“Since you’d rather go hide with Sam than tell me whatever the fuck you’ve got going on, is _when_ ,” William said, eyes focused off in the distance. Sebastian stared at him, scrutinizing, probably running him through one of those check lists his brain seemed to like so much.

“You going to give me a hard time for that?” His tone was accusatory, his body language aggressive.

“You going to stop trying to pick a damn fight?”

Sebastian’s head whipped back at the words and he turned back towards William’s house, crossing his arms. “I’m not picking a fight.”

“Yeah, and I’m thinking of asking out Harvey to the next Spring Dance, what with my love of doctors and all.”

Sebastian threw his arms up. “You’re supposed to be mad!”

“Maybe if I knew who to be mad at, I would be!”

He froze at that, that same haunted look creeping back into his eyes.

William threw his hands up too. “You can’t have it both ways, babe. I can either be fucking COOL about shit and wait for you to _tell_ me what is wrong, or you can _point_ at whoever did _whatever_ they did to you and I can go serve up their heart on a platter.”

Sebastian looked struck, then looked at the ground.

“You’re not going to kill anyone,” he said stubbornly.

William felt the words like a leash and sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well of course not,” he said, smoothing his tone into reasonableness. “That would be crazy.”

This seemed to relax Sebastian, which was really adorable in its own way. William reached over and draped his arm over his shoulders. Sebastian leaned into him and William pressed his nose into his hair. It was gelled stiff, but underneath the reek of hairspray he could still find his unique cedar/tobacco scent.

They approached the porch and Sebastian stepped up first, going into William's house. William kicked off his boots, leaving them at the door and came inside after him. Ingrid was curled up against the fireplace, the coals banked and barely smoking. Sebastian had sunk onto his couch and was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, his fingers in his hair. William let him be, walking into the adjoining kitchen to pour two glasses of lemonade from the pitcher in his fridge. He frowned as he looked into his bare living room. He needed a coffee table and some other chairs. Maybe a rug.

He crossed over and then sat next to Sebastian, nudging his hand with the glass.

Sebastian looked up and then took it, sniffed, and drank it deeply. Figures. He’d probably been such a mess he hadn’t bothered hydrating. Orange juice might have been better, but William didn’t keep the stuff around. Lemonade mixed better with whiskey.

“I ruined Sam’s concert,” Sebastian whispered, pulling into himself again.

William drank his lemonade, watching him. Sebastian wasn’t looking at him, just focused on a place on the floor. William waited longer, finding that he could have patience here. It wasn’t like before, when Sebastian would flip the script – fine one moment with being in his bed, then freaking out at the first thought of being seen together. And, through all of his stress, William could see the cord with the Frozen Tear peeking out from underneath the neck of his hoodie.

They finished their lemonade. William got up and took Sebastian’s empty glass from his fingers and crossed into the kitchen to wash and put them away. Sebastian followed him, and as William was turning on the water, he wrapped his arms around his waist.

William looked over his shoulder, but could only make out the back of his head.

He turned off the water, waiting.

Sebastian flexed his arms, locking them tighter before whispering, the words warm against the back of his shirt. “When I was fifteen, some guys tied me to a bench and tried to rape me with a traffic cone.”

William’s fingers gripped his sink and counter at the words, washing through him with shock, followed by the same cold anger that had burned through him when he’d heard about Marcus’s little stunt. He closed his eyes and Sebastian’s arms tightened around him.

“They didn’t, you know, do more than just scare me. Sam… stopped them.”

Well. He was now very grateful he hadn’t punched the guy. He’d go buy Sam a beer and see if he could get some identities out of the rocker. He waited, because he knew, knew there had to be more to this.

He hated when he was right.

“Tonight… ” Sebastian let out a shudder, and William closed one hand over the two that were clasped around his waist, urging strength and support into the grip. “Some of them were in the crowd at the concert. I… I panicked. That’s… that’s what made me…” He was starting to breathe fast now. “That’s why I…”

William shifted, turning around to face Sebastian. He wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him closer, tightening his arms around his shoulders to block out the light, to block out what was around him so that Sebastian could only feel him, not whatever else he was remembering.

He began to cry, deep sobs shaking William’s arms. William took it, tightening his hold whenever Sebastian started to try and pull away, and was rewarded with him sinking bonelessly forward.

They stayed like that for a while. Then William hauled Sebastian up, hands around his thighs. Sebastian obeyed, wrapping his legs around William’s waist and he carried them into his bedroom, laying them down in the dimness of the room. After a few minutes, William tossed his shirt down, pulled off Sebastian’s hoodie to a mild protest and then had them settled under a blanket, Sebastian’s face against his skin.

“If you ever see them again,” William told him, laying a tender kiss on his forehead, “I will rip their throats out through their assholes. All you have to do is point.”

Sebastian laughed, the sound wet and sharp amongst the tears.

“Aren’t you going to tell me that it’s going to be okay instead?” he said, sounding hysterical with his laughter. “Oh my god, were you born in a damn action movie?”

William shrugged and held him closer. “I ain’t a greeting card, babe. I’m a no good, dirty, murdering, ex-heroin addict who cares very little about the way the world views me. Unfortunately for you, I have made you mine, and anyone who fucks with what’s mine gets _all_ of my bad side.”

Sebastian quietly soaked in the words before saying, “You’re incorrect.”

“About what?”

“About not being good. You’re good, Will. You’re really good.”

William closed his eyes, the words soft and ringing with sincerity.

“Yeah, well, maybe this is shitty timing, but there is something I need to tell you.”

“Yeah? Can’t be worse than what I’ve just told you.”

William grimaced. “Perspective is a bitch.”

*

After the whirlwind of the past afternoon, Sebastian felt safe.

Will was good at that.

From the first moment he’d met him, he’d been trying to make him safe and it was a balm to his heart that after hearing the story he hadn’t pressed for details. Hadn’t tried to armchair psych him about it. Hadn’t said anything stupid like ‘it's not your fault’ or ‘you’re okay now.’ He knew it wasn’t his fault. Didn’t stop the terror when he’d seen them. And he knew he wasn’t okay. Yet William had taken it, not bothered lying with words, and instead had comforted him with actions. He felt like he was being held by a bear, a furry, soft, scary bear that only wanted to be nice to him.

That was… really good.

“So what are you going to tell me?”

Will groaned and rolled onto his back, keeping an arm around Sebastian, but putting some distance between them underneath the blanket.

“I… saw Cameron at the fair.”

The word flipped a switch in his brain. Cameron? The cover-boy nurse practitioner who’d left floral artwork in Will’s hospital room, and who apparently had been such a good boyfriend that Will’s parents still loved him?

“Um. Okay.”

“Oh but it gets better,” William said, rubbing a hand down his face. “It turns out that his fiancé is like, an abusive dick.”

Sebastian felt something inside his chest tighten. He sat up and looked over at him.

“Did he have to call the cops on him or something?”

Will’s hand was resting on his forehead and his jaw was strained. Sebastian had begun to read the signs based on the tightness around Will’s lips and the way his veins would pop on his forehead.

“No… but I saw the guy belt him one.”

Sebastian flinched, squeezing his arm out of discomfort. It was too fresh a reminder after his fall down memory lane. Sympathy bloomed in his chest.

“Poor guy,” he murmured, crossing his arms around himself.

Will looked up, incredulously. “Poor Cam? Poor us. Getting involved in this is going to be messy, babe. I’d understand if you wanted me to stay out of it.”

Sebastian shook his head. “How can you say that? I mean, you know he’s getting hurt. How could you stay out of it? You aren’t like, someone who can DO that, Will.”

Will pushed up, looking at Sebastian like he’d lost his mind.

“If I think Cameron is going to cause problems? Yeah, you bet your ass it’s something I could do.”

Sebastian frowned, sat up and leaned forward, resting his hands on Will’s knees.

“You were the one who stepped up at that bar,” he said, meeting his eyes.

Will stared back at him, not looking away, as if he saw something he liked. Sebastian maintained the contact, as if he could find a way into the brain behind the blue gaze. “You were the one who saw that I needed help and did something.”

Now Will looked away, frowning. Sebastian reached up and cupped his neck. “Tonight? I got to remember in HD Quality what it feels like to be helpless and want someone to help you. I know you, William Bauer. You have no intention of ignoring Cam, whatever the hell was between you two.”

Will closed his eyes when he felt Sebastian’s fingers rubbing his neck.

“You really don’t know what I’m getting into. His fiancé, he’s some kind of corporate big-shot at Joja. Getting involved is like… ten times worse than the fucking love tap I gave Morris. Believe me, this isn’t some like, catch and release. It’s gonna be sticky.”

Sebastian shrugged and then shifted closer, climbing into Will’s lap, wrapping his arms around his back, resting his cheek against his bare shoulder.

“So we do it together,” he said softly. “You don’t have to take on the world alone, Will. If you want back up, all you have to do is ask.”

Will’s hands were hot on his back, the heat of them running through the net shirt.

“You’re gonna regret offering this,” he said, but Sebastian was satisfied that Will was holding him back.

“Yeah? And then it’s my problem. Not yours.”

Will chuckled. “Bastian? You will always be my problem.”

Sebastian gave a low moan as William began to kiss his neck, kissing a line down from his ear to his shoulder.

“Too bad,” he groaned.

“I love the fuck out of this shirt,” Will muttered, running his tongue over his collarbone. Sebastian shivered then reached up, fisting his hand into the longer hair on top of Will’s head.

“Don’t get distracted,” he panted. “I want to go with you. I mean it.”

Will’s ardor visibly cooled at this statement.

“It… it’s gonna be at my mom’s. Tomorrow. You sure?”

Sebastian swallowed, the suddenness unexpected… and he’d be going to Will’s parents' house? Jeez. The last time he’d seen them, he’d been a mess at Will’s hospital bed.

Then he saw it – Will’s disappointment. It was a spark of an emotion and he was already about to smile and cover up whatever he was really feeling. Probably make a joke. Sebastian narrowed his eyes and surged forward, kissing him before he could do any such thing.

They fell back on the bed, Will’s surprise shifting to growling hunger. Sebastian still had his hand on Will’s head though and he pulled him still, putting distance between them.

“I meant what I said. You aren’t alone dealing with this.”

Will nodded and then rubbed his fingers over Sebastian’s cheeks.

“Alright. So. We have each other’s backs. Means a lot, Bastian.”

Sebastian relaxed at the endearment, at the pressure that Will had on his shoulders.

He laid his head down on Will’s chest and for a while, that’s how they stayed, sharing breaths and heartbeats.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaaack!
> 
> Oh man, have I missed you guys!
> 
> Alright, well on my un-intentional 2 weeks off, I have discovered that it is rather nice to take a whole week to write a thing so commenters who have adviced me to relax, OKAY YOU WIN I AM RELAXING.
> 
> For now, all updates will be Saturday nights between 8pm and 10pm Central standard time. Shoutout to Turtletotem and GingerDelight for betaing this chapter and being the best friends a person could have as they slog through the mess they made. 
> 
> I love this story but I don't know if you love it unless you tell me. So! Comments! Kudos! Bookmarks! I appreciate them all. <3   
> See you next week!


	39. Brunch at Angie's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning:  
> Fashion police  
> Stupid cars for road trips  
> Asshole William  
> McMansions

William slipped into Sebastian’s room with him early the next morning. They’d walked over to Robin’s place in the dark, the cool morning air not yet full of the summer intensity that would rise up later in the day. It was almost 9 and they’d be pushing it to make it on time.

They were borrowing Demetrius’s clown car again and William was already starting to wonder how soon he’d be able to afford a truck of his own. The borrowing was grating.

Sebastian’s room was surprisingly spacious. William saw pictures on the wall of different fantasy games Sebastian liked, a bookshelf full of comics and coding books, and artwork of a wizard in a spell-casting pose. He chuckled at it all. The space wasn’t neat, per se, but there was an order to the chaos, both on the desk and on the shelves.

“Big comic book fan?” he asked, squatting down to read titles.

“Yeah? So?”

William held a hand up, waving off the defensiveness.

“No offense, Mr. Prickles. Just curious.”

“You don’t have a lot of books at your place,” Sebastian noted, digging through some drawers while William tried to figure out which ones were Sebastian’s favorites.

William was used to his mom’s shindigs. Picking out his clothes had been like pulling out a uniform from his days of living at home. The clothes felt awkward. He was putting on muscle again from the farmwork and his shirts felt just a touch too tight, the buttons at a low-key risk of breaking. That sort of thing was great when you were trying to get into someone’s pants, but less comfortable when you knew you’d need to smooze with some dipshit from city accounting about something useless.

He stroked a finger over a particularly dog-eared copy of  _The Return of the King_ , wishing that he dared show up in dirty jeans and a loose t-shirt. Alas, his mom’s head would explode and he’d already given her enough reason over the years to be pissed off.

“Don’t read that much,” William admitted, putting the book back. “Where are your games?”

“On the computer,” Sebastian said, digging through his drawers. He was pulling shirts and pants out of his closet and then tossing them on the bed.

“But where are the cases?” William asked, trying to figure out what he liked to play.

“I download them. Saves the environment with a lack of packaging,” Sebastian said, still moving the clothes around into piles. William rolled his eyes. Typical private Sebastian. He probably had hundreds of e-books too that no one could see. He turned, skimming the cork board next to the computer chair. Sebastian had four columns denoted with thin electrical tape, invoices, project deadlines and a huge calendar with neat writing on the days. It was all very organized, as opposed to the desk which was a pile of energy bar wrappers, chewed pen caps and about twenty different sticky notes lining a monitor screen. 

“But how am I supposed to snoop through your interests if you keep them on that war machine over there?” William said, looking at the computer.

“Um… you don’t. How’s that sound?”

William frowned, the words short and crackling with nervous stress. He turned and saw that Sebastian’s face was pinched as he sorted through the same shirts for the third time.

“What’s up?”

Sebastian shook his head, tossing the clothes he was holding onto the bed and digging through the closet a few minutes longer. “Not sure of the impression I’m going to make with your family is all. I don’t exactly get out much.”

William crossed over, eyes skimming the clothes. Yeah, he could understand why. Black, black, black and more black. Not exactly brunch fare. He glanced over at Sebastian and then looked into his closet. He frowned and thought hard, an idea forming.

“Here,” he said, pulling out a pair of dark wash jeans from the pile and tossing them at Sebastian. They weren’t the typical skinny-jean emo-wear, but something with a straight cut leg. They would make him look sturdier than his lanky frame usually gave him. “Those. And this.” He pulled a black button up from the back of Sebastian’s closet. The cut would be flattering on him. It was also pressed which meant he’d probably rarely worn it.

“Um…” Sebastian looked dubious, but William’s instincts were locked in on the combination. It would give him that professional, together look while not trying too hard. Good armor against his mom’s snooping gaze. She’d slide right over him as someone classy but simple.

“Trust,” William said. He leaned over and bumped his head against Sebastian’s forehead. For a moment they stood that way, close and barely touching, breaths mingled. It relaxed Sebastian enough that he picked up the clothes William had given him. Still, his face was painted with skepticism.

“Jeans?”

William ignored the question. Denim was a more comfortable fabric than the stupid cotton blend he was wearing. He let his mind skim the outfit, feeling like it was missing something. Then he seized upon a memory.

“You still have a pair of those red suspenders?”

“How do you know about those?” Sebastian asked.

William snorted.

“Jodi has tons of pictures of you and Sam. I have a few memorized, let's just put it that way. Put those on over it and do that thing you do to your hair. Boom. You’ll fit right in.”

Sebastian bit his lip, looking at William like he was speaking a new language, then shook his head. He didn’t argue anymore, just began to strip, getting dressed. William sank onto the bed and watched him with appreciation. This was intimacy, the comfort, and ritual of getting ready together. Not just that, but he appreciated the planes and angles that Sebastian hid underneath his clothes. He let his eyes drift half closed, remembering the feel of skin against the net of the shirt he’d worn last night. It made him hard to see him this way, to see him around his own things. William half-heartedly reached for him but Sebastian stepped back.

“No,” Sebastian said, his face cool and tone neutral. “We’re not going to be late for your mom’s thing.”

Damn.

“Late is fashionable and shit,” William said, trying at least once more, grinning when Sebastian stepped back again. “Haven’t you read the magazines, Mr. I-Like-To-Read-Things?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes, tucking in the shirt.

“How’d you learn to do this?”

Seduce guys? Well, apparently not well since Sebastian was putting his clothes back on instead of off…

“Do what?”

“Fashion,” Sebastian grumbled, crossing over to the dresser to pull those red suspenders out.

William blinked, his fantasies dashed. He rubbed the back of his neck, the shirt too tight around his wrists and throat.

“Survival. Ma has been a social butterfly her entire life. Growing up was like, a revolving door of cocktail parties with Zuzu’s movers and shakers.”

Sebastian paused in straightening the red straps over his shoulders and looked at him as if William had surprised him. He was doing that a lot lately and William wasn’t sure how it made him feel. Like a formula that was being solved. He looked away, made uncomfortable by the focus. He could only imagine what Sebastian was thinking. Knowing about clothes and shit wasn’t special. As much as William liked attention, he wanted it on his terms. Clothes were an easy way to control that scene.

“So like, your parents are rich?” Sebastian asked, checking himself out in the mirror. He looked together and casual. If he wanted, he could have disappeared in the crowd, easily forgotten against the brighter flowers in his mom’s social garden.

William shrugged.

“More like. Influential. Money was never tight growing up, but Ma is friends with the entire world. So we knew a lot of people. You know, just because she was good at organizing that sort of thing.”

“Huh.”

William looked at him, watching him, a slow dread about this entire ordeal forming into his stomach. He thought that Robin and Demetrius’s house was pretty big, pretty similar to the way he’d grown up, even if it was out in the woods instead of a big neighborhood. But Robin wasn’t socially focused like his mom. She had practical, simple shit. His parents leaned towards the ostentatious. And the last time he’d brought a guy home to meet the family…

“You know,” William said, feeling suddenly very desperate to avoid this entire situation, resolve and promises be damned. “We don’t  _have_  to go.”

“After all this effort?” Sebastian said dryly. “Nice try.”

He stepped into his bathroom and began some magic with a jar of pomade and a hairbrush. William stood, restless, and began to gather up all of Sebastian’s discarded shirts, shaking them out, putting them back. They needed to be ironed. Why didn’t he bother to iron his clothes?

He’d gotten four of them on hangers when Sebastian stepped out of the bathroom, raising an eyebrow.

“You can leave them,” Sebastian said. “I’ll get it when I get home.”

“They’ll get wrinkled,” William growled, his fingers finding the task grounding.

Sebastian rolled his eyes, stepping past him to collect his wallet and keys.

“I’m not a slob. You don’t have to pick up after me.”

William grit his teeth then threw the shirt he was holding down on top of the ones he’d separated out. He crossed over and plucked the keys out of Sebastian’s hands.

“I’m driving,” he said, stalking towards the door, realizing that this was a terrible, terrible fucking idea. The whole damn thing. And it was too late to stop it happening.

“Hey!” Sebastian cried.

“What?” William snapped back, his temper flaring. “I know where we’re going.”

“What the fuck is your problem, Will?”

The question hit him like a slap and he snapped his mouth shut. Sebastian was staring at him like he’d grown a new head but he couldn’t help it. They had to be there in three hours and that wasn’t even near enough time to prepare Sebastian for the shit-storm that had been William’s entire life before he’d moved to Pop's farm. He closed his eyes, pushing the frustration to the back of his mind. He was such an asshole to drag Sebastian into Cameron’s drama.

When he had settled it back, he released a long breath. “Sorry. Nothing. C’mon.”

He turned his back on Sebastian and ignored the feeling of eyes boring into his back as he left the room.

*

The trip was tense. Within a few minutes of getting into Demetrius’s car, Will turned on the radio and didn’t speak. Still, Sebastian was a little amused at how far Will had needed to push the seat back, how high he’d needed to adjust the steering wheel. He was larger than the little car had any right to contain.

Sebastian watched the scenery pass them by and itched for a cigarette. Will had been in such a hurry he hadn’t even let him get in a smoke before they’d gotten on the road.

A few times, during the commercials on the radio, he’d glanced over to see if Will was going to break his silence, but he chose not to. He’d been shut down since they’d left the house, those fleeting moments of comfort shoved back with whatever was going on in his head. Finally, when they were 15 minutes out from the city, Sebastian spoke up.

“So, anything I should know about this brunch?”

Will’s body tightened, as if that were possible. It was sort of impressive, he thought, wondering how he even managed to steer the car with a body wound up like a spring.

Then, Will forced himself to relax, his tight facial muscles slipping back into a sort of resigned slackness. It smoothed his expression. Like he was telling each muscle group to obey, his shoulders drooping and his fingers loosening their grip on the wheel. It was oddly sexual to see that sort of control over his body. And also unsettling.

“Ma is going to have a lot of random people there,” he said finally, choosing his words carefully. “She also isn’t expecting us so, be prepared for that.”

Anxiety spiked.

“Wait, she’s not?”

“Not unless Cameron gave her a heads up yesterday. I called her this morning, but we’re still going to throw off her seating chart, so she’ll be annoyed for that.”

“…seating chart?”

William nodded slowly. “Yep.”

Unease coiled around his Anxiety.

“Um. A lot of people at your mom’s house on a Sunday?”

“Depends on who needs what,” Will said grimly.

“That’s… not comforting and way too vague.”

Will sighed and rolled his neck. “Look. Ma’s on a revolving door of city committees. She’s been in the Chamber of Commerce, the School Board, two stints on city council and she’s also like, part of a dozen different charity organizations, okay. Angie Bauer’s brunches are The Place To Be for anyone who is anyone in Zuzu.”

Panic tried to slide up to hang out with Unease and Anxiety.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, and, the worst part is… I’ve not exactly got the best reputation in these circles, okay. So. Just… take anything you hear with a grain of salt.”

Sebastian turned his gaze back, eyes narrowed, hearing something unhappy slip through the neutral tone Will was using to lay out this problem.

“I see,” he said, noticing only the micro-flare of Will’s nostrils. He narrowed his eyes, different gears clicking into place as he analyzed Will’s body language. He waited for him to add to that. To give him a hint of what exactly they were getting into here.

He was given an entire plate of nothing.

“You worried?” Sebastian asked.

“Nope.”

Sebastian pulled on the sleeve of his shirt, itching for a smoke.

“Then why are you tense?”

“Not tense. Just thinking.”

Sebastian felt like he was rubbing against a brick wall, scratching at the bricks. It was irritating.

“What are you thinking about?”

Will’s eyebrow twitched and he shrugged, but otherwise his face remained the same.

“If you’re not tense,” Sebastian said between grit teeth, “then I am also an accomplished yodeler.”

Will squeezed the wheel then forced himself to relax it.

“Just leave it, Sebastian,” he said as they pulled off the road. “Let me do the talking and we’ll get out of it fine, okay?”

“It’s not a war zone, Will. It’s a meal. With your family and a few strangers.”

Will rolled his eyes and then turned them off of the main street into a neighborhood that was getting increasingly nicer as they drove.

“Ma’s brunches are another layer of hell, okay? Trust me. I’ve gone to enough of them.”

Sebastian let out a slow breath, looking back out the window. Why had he wanted to come again? Oh yeah, to support the asshole sitting next to him currently being a grumpy dick. Because he’d thought, last night at least, that Will could use the backup. Now he felt like he was a burden. Such a great and uplifting mood to meet one’s boyfriend’s family in.

Will’s hand stretched across and squeezed his fingers.

“Sorry. Maybe I’m a little tense,” he said softly.

Sebastian squeezed the fingers back.

“It’s fine,” he said.

Will nodded his head once then pulled them into another maze of roads. It was so big compared to Pelican Town’s three narrow cobblestone-paved corridors. Sidewalks here were bright and uncracked. The houses were all two-storied and the space between them got longer and larger with each passing street. Soon they left any signs of urban life and fit into winding roads, passing a golf course. Finally they started up a small hill, three houses on a cul-de-sac, each one with a driveway that went deep into the property. Cars lined the road and the collection was a blend of makes and models. Sebastian frowned as they passed by a red dented sedan parked next to a high-end sleek SUV.

“Sort of a mix?”

Will nodded, parking Demetrius’s yellow-engine-that-could behind a mid-ranged van that had a ‘My Child Is On The Honor Roll!’ bumper sticker.

“Yup. Ma’s not classist.”

Sebastian swallowed but then got out, feeling weird and out of place on the neat lawn. Will’s parents’ house was a large brick creation that looked as though the architect had taken a few darts and thrown them at his favorite features of clashing designs. The house was surrounded by large and ostentatious hedges and conifers that were shaped into spirals and round symmetrical geometric shapes. It had about 15 windows of different sizes, four large columns that were a few details away from being Corinthian, and a front door that warred with a bay window for largest frontal focal piece.

“Your parents have a McMansion,” Sebastian said, awed. “I’ve never seen one in real life.”

Will stopped in mid-stride, looking at him as if he’d just seen him for the first time, and burst into a peal of laughter. It was so unexpected that he squinted – whatever he’d said had slapped Will out of the bizarre head-space that he’d been living in on the ride up there.

“Oh man,” Will wheezed, “whatever you do, don’t tell Ma.”

Sebastian flushed, suddenly chagrined.

“Um, it’s like, a nice house,” he said hurriedly.

“Babe, it’s fucking hideous,” Will said grinning, shaking his head and reaching over to drape an arm over Sebastian’s shoulder as they started up the cobblestoned lawn.

Sebastian ducked his head.

“Um.”

“Nah,” Will said, apparently still cracking up at Sebastian’s assessment. “We grew up in this tiny little house closer to the city. She and dad built this right before I started high school. Hate this place.”

Sebastian cocked his head but didn’t ask. Apparently Will wasn’t into questions today and he was hungry for any info before they walked in.

“It's… a very big house,” he said.

Will snickered, apparently still amused.

“Yeah well, you’ll see.”

Will ignored the ostentatious front door with its huge decorative wreath and hanging glass light fixtures and swung them through the garage with long practice and ease. He slipped between two very nice sedans, both a deep blue, and opened the back door into a bustling kitchen.

“MA! I’M HUNGRY!” Will called, stepping inside as if he did this every day.

Sebastian blinked, the sudden change in Will’s demeanor knocking him off his mental balance.

He followed him into a sort of organized chaos.

Four men and women wearing matching blue polos with ‘Rex’s Catering’ on their breasts were dividing up steaming food between silver tin-foiled platters onto tiered trays and plates.

The kitchen was huge. Whoever had decorated and designed the interior had ignored whatever boneheaded advice that the contractor had agreed to. He and his mom had spent a short summer working on a suburban project like this and it made his eye twitch to see such a beautiful interior design against such a ridiculous exterior. Still, despite the outside appearances and crimes against architecture, the Bauers had taste. Everything in the large room was sleek and modern, professional grade stove range with 2 ovens, a warmer system, and a huge refrigerator made the kitchen look less like a place where people lived and more of a setting of work.

It was tasteful; like it had been peeled out of a magazine and pasted into the Bauer home with care. He skimmed the space and saw Will squeezing the shoulders of a thick-armed blond woman.

“Gretchen,” he pouted, pressing her into a half hug. “You’d feed a starving boy, eh?”

The woman rolled her eyes and slapped his fingers with long practice as he tried to sneak a taste of whatever was in her dish.

“William! It’s been a few weeks. I thought you’d moved.”

“He did! Into a barn.”

Sebastian looked up to see the tiny woman that he’d met in the hospital a few weeks before.

“Ma!” Will said, jubilantly, leaning over and pressing a loud ‘smack’ of a kiss on her cheek. “How the hell ya been?”

She rolled her eyes.

“Son,” she mimicked, “watch your mouth.”

“Can’t,” he said breezily, “my nose is in the way. Sebastian? You remember Ma, yeah?”

She gave the sky a look of exasperation then smoothed her face into a charming smile.

“Of course, how could I forget? Please, call me Angie.”

Sebastian nodded, trying to make eye contact and remember where his words had gone. Angie held out a manicured hand with creamy nail polish. He exchanged grips, her fingers delicate and soft where his mom’s hands were always rough and strong. It was so strange to think a woman who looked so fragile had produced Will.

“It’s very nice to properly meet you,” he said, feeling tightness in his chest at her bird-like gaze. She shook his hand once then smiled brightly.

“You as well!” She gave Will a side eye. “You tell me if this behemoth misbehaves, okay? He’s a big boy but I can still turn him over my knee if necessary.”

“Ma,” Will said, “be nice. Sebastian has been listening to me tell him about what a sweetheart you are, okay? So maybe don’t mess that up.”

She narrowed her eyes and then turned her gaze to Sebastian. Something about what Will had said made her get a calculated look. Out of nowhere the soft grip, they’d exchanged changed. She moved sideways and tugged, forcing Sebastian to step forward to keep from stumbling. She tucked Sebastian’s hand into her elbow and beamed at him.

“William! Go see your father. I’m going to give Sebastian the tour.”

He cast a panicked look over at Will, who was scowling.

“Ma,” Will said, warning in his tone.

“No, you go say hi to your father. He’s in the den. We’re hosting the Lions today for brunch. Shoo!”

Sebastian opened his mouth to protest but before he could, Angie was walking and he was forced to go or create an awkward scene.

“Um,” he tried. “That’s very kind—”

“Well you’re welcome,” Angie said, smiling at him and suddenly, Sebastian realized with alarm that… William might not look like his mom, but she was where he’d gotten his undercurrent of dangerous energy from. He swallowed and nodded.

“Right.”

“I’m so glad we understand one another,” Angie said demurely, taking him out of the kitchen and out of the line of sight of the only person he knew here.

*

William didn’t like the look in his mom’s eyes when she kidnapped Sebastian, but then again, it was her house. Still, who said that he couldn’t follow them to make sure that she wasn’t terrorizing him? No one, that’s who.

He left the mini restaurant workflow that was the kitchen and crossed into the living room, where seven card tables had been covered with white tablecloths and small centerpieces. Over two dozen people were mingling and talking, mimosas clutched next to Bloody Marys. A buffet of bacon-wrapped asparagus, mini quiches, and trays of mini-eggs Benedict were lined on a long table. He frowned when his mom whisked Sebastian out of the room but had barely taken a step after them when he saw Cameron rise up to greet him.

Fuck.

He knew his face didn’t show his displeasure. He was too practiced at these sorts of dances to let that happen.

“I can’t believe you actually came,” Cameron said, leaning forward to give him a greeting hug. Will shifted, turning the hug into a platonic back pat.

“Yeah well, I keep my promises these days. Something something Sober Reform something.”

Cameron raised a brow then nodded at the table where pictures of water, juice, and champagne lay. “Drink?”

Will raised a brow at him. “This conversation going to be so bad that I’ll need one?”

“Ha,” Cameron said, crossing over and snagging two of the delicate fluted glasses. Will accepted the drink then absently tapped his glass to the one Cameron held.

“To that good make-up hiding your bruises,” Will drawled.

Cameron’s eyes shifted around them to see if anyone had heard, then narrowed them before replying, “To old friends who have  _such_  a way with words.”

They both drank. Cam took a delicate sip. William tossed the entire eight ounces of champagne-infused OJ down and then licked his lips. Ma had always been fond of making use of her leftover wine for these shindigs. When you threw as many dinner parties as she did, it was a criminal waste of vino not to have a backup plan.

“C’mon,” William said, “let’s get this over with.” He turned towards the sunroom and out the back door to the big yard. He could hear the pool pump running, and his mother had decorated the patio with bright oranges and geometrical tiles in cream and gray to contrast the peppy theme. The backyard oven and grill looked like they’d been recently used. Will sank down into one of her chairs and kicked his legs out. Cameron had followed and folded gracefully across from him.

“Saw you’d brought your new trick with you,” Cameron sniffed, looking petty and cool while the wine glass stayed perched in his fingers.

“Be disrespectful to Sebastian one more damn time and we’re done. I don’t care if Roy rips you in half with a spike.”

Cameron stiffened then took another hasty sip, clearly shaken. William honestly gave zero fucks.

“You’re right,” Cameron said. “It was beneath me. I’m sorry.”

William watched him for a moment before inclining his head.

“Forgiven. Now. What’s the deal, Baker? Why are you letting that three-piece suit knock you around like a damn bowling pin?”

“So it’s my fault?” Cameron said dryly, leaning back in the chair. “Bauer, you always think you know everything.”

“I know that you’d have scratched out a pair of Gotoro eyes four years ago if they’d pulled that sort of nonsense. I know that you broke damn nearly every plate in our apartment when I was being an ass. I know that you’ve never put up with someone beating you before, and so yeah, I’m going to go ahead and say,  _why_  are you  _letting_  him slap you around?”

Cameron shrugged, rubbing his forehead. “It’s complicated.”

“No, you’re just being a stubborn, dramatic asshole.”

“You’ve got the market share of asshole,” Cameron snapped back, fist clenching, “so don’t call me black, Mr. Kettle.”

“You’re looking a little dark there, Pot, is all I’m fucking saying.”

Cameron drank down the rest of the mimosa and placed it carefully on the table.

“Angie did a great job with this backyard,” he said, distracted, looking away. “Amazing what someone can do with time on her hands.”

“Amazing what someone can do when she has Dad to foot the bill for her gardeners and landscaping crew,” William replied, unfazed by Cameron’s blatant attempt at a subject change.

“But she designed it. The lighting, the outdoor entertainment area…”

William rolled his eyes. “Are you going to swoon over Ma’s decorating or tell me what’s up? Because like, I don’t have to be here.”

Cameron glared at him.

“You know,” he said, “this is why we never worked out. You rush into everything.”

“Oh? And here I was thinking that it was because I lied to you, stole your prescription pad and almost got you arrested for fraud. Funny how we remember these things so differently.”

“Yet here you are, wanting to know why I’m in a toxic relationship,” Cameron snapped back.

Will leaned forward, glaring. “Yet here I am, figuring out exactly what kind of shit an old  _friend_  has gotten himself into, because other than nearly marrying me, you used to be pretty smart. So stop hedging, stop playing the ‘I don’t wanna talk about it until you make me’ game and spill. What does he have on you?”

Cameron froze, eyes wide.

_Paydirt_ , William thought.

“I don’t know what you’re implying.”

“Uh huh. Pull the other one. What did you do, Cameron?”

Cameron stood up, crossing his arms, looking tired.

“This was a bad idea. I have to go to a photo shoot in an hour. I should just go.”

William sighed and shook his head.

“You just can’t stop yourself.”

“What?”

“You say  _I’m_  bad with my temper? But you just can’t stop yourself from getting involved with assholes. I give a shit, you idiot. Tell me what happened.”

Cameron sat back down but didn’t uncross his arms. He closed his eyes then opened them.

“It’s wrapped up in some shady billing practices. I… ugh, this is hard to explain,” he said, rubbing his head.

William waited.

Cameron blew out his breath then nodded.

“And it’s personal. It's very personal… he had nudes.”

William’s eyebrows rose and Cameron plunged on.

“Not just regular nudes… nudes while I was… working. Things that are against our ethics clauses. If he releases them, I’ll lose my contract, lose my job, and lose any ability to work in this city within a 50-mile radius. William, if he lets them go, he’ll ruin my career.”

“How…?”

Cameron glared at him.

“He wasn’t always an asshole, you know. When we started dating, he was very… charming. He would do all the buying. He brought me gifts. I thought we had a connection, you know? I was so…” he hesitated but William could fill in the blanks pretty easily. They involved ‘recovering from your boot print on my life’ and ‘healing from what a jackass you’d been’ somewhere on that list.

“Until he was an asshole,” William said, getting a complete picture as he thought about it.

“Yeah,” Cameron said softly.

“So. Simple solution. We get the nudes back and you quit and boom. Problem solved.”

Cameron glared at him, then held up his hand. “We’re engaged, Bauer. You can’t just quit that sort of thing. It’s been in the planning stages for months!”

William stared at him, jaw dropping. Then he clicked his teeth together.

“I cannot believe we lived together.”

Cameron stood, glaring, “I’m under contract with him and Joja! I am a representative of the brand! If I break this wedding off—”

“Which do you want, Cam? My help? Or am I supposed to watch you tie yourself down to that abusive fuck because out of fear?”

“What the  _hell_  would you know about being broke and unemployed?” Cameron snarled, standing. “It is so easy for you to say what I should do right now when you lose nothing!”

William surged to his feet, glaring. “I remember very fucking well what it’s like to be poor and _homeless_ , or did you forget the dumpster you saw me in? Because I promise you that memory was burned into my brain.”

“Being a homeless beggar for a _fix_ isn’t the same! You had people who cared! You had a place to pull you out of it. You had a fucking safety net.”

“WELL YOU SURE HAVEN’T HAD A PROBLEM USING THAT NET BEFORE,” William roared, slamming his hand on the table. “SO WHY STOP NOW?”

“FUCK. YOU.”

They stared at one another, faces flushing, chests heaving. It was just like old fucking times, he thought grimly, fists clenched. Then Cam’s face paled and he was looking over William’s shoulder.

William closed his eyes then turned his head.

And looked right into Sebastian’s eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [TurtleTotem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleTotem/profile) and [GingerDelight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/profile) for their amazing beta work. This fic wouldn't be 1/10th the amount of awesome that it's turning into without both of you guys. T_T
> 
> OMG YOU GUYS 10 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO HOLY SHIT!!!!!
> 
> Updates are on Saturdays between 8-10pm CST!  
> If you enjoyed this fic, guess what? I don't know unless you tell me. So kudos, bookmarks and most especially comments are always appreciated.


	40. Powerplay

Over the last few weeks, Sebastian had familiarized himself with different levels of fear. Fear of losing William. Fear of his past. Fear of rejection due to said past… it was all a blue-soaked blanket streaked with neon yellow terror.

Yet because the universe was consistently reminding him that all limits were made to be pushed, he now had a new shade of terror: lightning-hot discomfort from Angie Bauer. He felt the anxiety shoot through his arm as she walked him through her beautiful home.

Maybe it was because his own mom was a tall and forthright person. Or that his sister was a no-nonsense straight shooter. Hell, even Abigail was blunt in how she thought and felt. But Angie Bauer seemed more like one of those sweet-talking deadly elves from Knights of Solora: she was lovely and poised with a spine of titanium, and Sebastian wondered if anyone suspected the 4 foot 11-inch woman toting him around was one of the scariest people he’d ever met.

And she was William’s mom.

Angie paused in front of one of the paintings in their house, a large landscape. Breezily she said, “That was painted by an old friend I knew overseas. He owns one of the biggest museums on the coast now. We see him when we vacation.” Sebastian noted the expensive wood frame as she nodded her head over to another section of displayed art. “That was made for David when he opened up a new account for Justine Domach. She’s a founding member of the Joja corp. Such generous people.”

He looked at her sideways. Then she slowed to chat with some friends and he swallowed, uncomfortable. She turned, beaming, “This is Lucille! She and I used to serve on the school board. Lucy? This is Sebastian, William’s new beau.”

The woman smiled and Sebastian felt frozen by the attention. One of Angie’s hands, bedecked with manicured fingernails and a tasteful pair of diamond and gold rings, was curled underneath his elbow. Lucy chattered at him and he nodded, not quite following what she was trying to say. Then she and Angie kissed cheeks before he was dragged off.

“It was a hard-won race,” Angie said to him, her tone mild while watching Lucy walk away, “But the old superintendent…well. Changes had to be made.”

Sebastian felt a shiver of something cool run down his spine at Angie’s tone. ‘Changes’ indeed.

His heart raced as the tyrant in pearls tugged him around, cheerfully talking to the people around them as if she was always escorted by strange young men. As if it was normal that Will would bring home a new man to introduce to society. In a flurry of gestures and movements, she introduced him to the mayor, the head of a local museum and a scientist that claimed to study molecules from meteors. He glanced over his shoulder, gratified to see Will was stalking them, a wrinkle of displeasure across his forehead. Sebastian opened his mouth then, thinking to extract himself from those polished fingernails, when Angie turned the full wattage of her smile at him.

“Sebastian and William are dating,” she said breezily to a lady who had come up, kissing the sides of Angie’s cheeks as if she were paying tribute to the Queen.

“Oh! How wonderful. Where did you two meet?” the kind strange lady asked.

_In a dirty hook up outside a dive bar,_ Sebastian thought dryly.

“Will moved near my house,” he said instead, feeling discomfort crawl down his neck. “Just chance, I guess.”

“We are so grateful for Sebastian,” Angie said, rubbing a hand over Sebastian’s arm. “William had a small accident the other week and Sebastian brought him to the hospital.”

“Oh, I hope he’s doing alright,” the woman said, eyes wide. Angie raised a brow and looked at Sebastian.

“He seems well. Is he, Sebastian?”

The sound of a trap clicked around him. So that’s what this was about. Angie wanted more information on William. Yet what did William want her to know? They hadn’t come here to see his family…they’d come here to see Cameron. He glanced around the room, his mind seizing on anything he could change the subject to.

He decided to use all his practice at being suave – and by that, what he meant was that he panicked.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” he blurted.

She stared, stunned, whatever she was about to say lost in the outburst. The woman they had been talking to tittered.

Sebastian felt his cheeks turn red at the bald-faced admission, but an out was an out.

“Um, of course,” she said, picking up the request as though he’d just asked her for directions to the closest historical site. “Down that hall and to the left.”

He slipped out of her grasp and smiled weakly, then turned and followed the directions to a door.

He closed himself into a beautifully decorated black and white room, elegant ceramic swans on the wall, towels hanging from their necks.

What was he doing here?

And why the heck had he wanted to make the trip?

Just as he was debating what he should do, he could hear voices near the door.

“Well, it looks like William’s not in jail, so I suppose you should pay up, Joyce.”

Sebastian swallowed then shifted, turning his head, William’s name perking him up.

“She is just so brash, Natalie,” Joyce said with frustration. “Anyone else would have never had the nerve to bring someone like that here. After all, the Mayor doesn’t need to be associated with her hoodlum son. After the months of terror that boy gave them, I swear. Angie Bauer just thinks she can do anything she wants.”

“Obviously, he wasn’t David’s,” the Natalie said with disdain. “You’d never see a man like him going around dumpsters. And that poor man, Cameron. What a trial William put them all through.”

Sebastian’s heart hammered.

_You’ll hear things,_ Will had warned.

Was this what he meant?

“Well, at least he’s clean today. Last year when Martin saw him behind the Applebees, I thought he was telling a story,” Natalie said.

“Oh watch out, Angie is looking this way. I still need to send her a thank you card for the vases she sent the gardening club… Angie! Darling! You look so well today!”

Sebastian backed away from the door and then turned on the water and ran his hands under it, trying to get his heart rate and his thoughts sorted.

Lies and Smiles.

This was Will’s world.

He had the uncomfortable realization that he was completely out of his depth. He dried his hands, then slipped out again, going the opposite way from the party. It was a cheap move but she was distracted by the vipers. The layout of the house was simple enough and he spotted William and Cameron outside by the pool through one of the too-large bay windows. Sebastian slipped into the sun-room, letting one of the caterers shield his escape. He glanced over his shoulder and saw that Angie was looking off at the bathroom he’d come out of. She hadn’t seen him exit. Good.

He stepped outside, just in time to hear William shout something at Cameron, which was returned with a loud, “FUCK YOU!”

They both noticed him there after that and he froze, a new sort of discomfort.

Out of the Angie frying pan and into the William fire.

“Sebastian,” Will said, looking strained. “I see you extracted yourself from Ma.”

“Yeah, thanks for all the help with that,” Sebastian said, mild censure in his voice.

Will grimaced but then reached a hand out to him. Cameron’s eyes narrowed at the gesture and Sebastian felt a sudden realization that… Cameron didn’t like it. Maybe he wasn’t as over Will as he seemed.

It made him feel irritated and possessive. He took Will’s hand and leaned against him, fingers interlocking. Warmth bloomed in his chest. And maybe something petty was satisfied by Cam’s jealousy.

“Cameron,” Will said, “I want you to listen to me. Anything you tell me, you can tell Sebastian. I trust him and he wants to help too.” He was speaking calmly, much more evenly than when Sebastian had come in. Looked like whatever irritation Cameron had teased out had been locked back down.

“No offense, Sebastian,” Cameron said in a tone that guaranteed offensiveness, “but I don’t think you’ve got a skill set that can handle this problem.”

“And what skill set would that be?” William asked dryly. “A sniper certification?”

“That’s not even funny,” Cameron snapped.

“I can’t tell you if I can help if I don’t know what’s going on,” Sebastian said, surprised by how steady he felt. Maybe it was the relief of not having Angie hanging on him. Or maybe it was the knowledge that William’s arm was around him and not anyone else. But in that moment, he didn’t look at the beautiful man across him and feel intimidation. He felt pity.

Cameron sighed.

“Fine. Tell him what’s happening.” He sat down, disgusted, and crossed his knees. Will sank into the metal chair. There was only one other seat but before Sebastian could suggest going and getting another, William sat and pulled him down to sit on his lap.

It was… intimate. He shot a glance at Cameron, who looked away, as if the sight pained him.

“It goes like this,” Will said, grim. And then he laid it out. As he spoke, Cameron became stiff, flinching when Will got to the part about Roy having nudes.

Sebastian let out a slow breath after hearing all of it and then nodded slowly.

“I can get rid of them if I know the machine he’s keeping them on,” Sebastian said.

“Wait,” Cameron said, focusing on him. “How?”

Sebastian shrugged. “Sixty lines of shell code in his main work rig should be enough of a window into whatever he’s doing. After that it would just be a day of key-stroke logs to pick up his passwords. Once I have those, I can dig through his info and locate them. Delete them. Done.”

Cameron’s jaw dropped, then closed, then he shook his head. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-four. But I’ve been writing code since I was fifteen. I know my shit,” he said.

“See?” William said, amused. “Looks like he does have the skill set required.”

Cameron burst to his feet, pacing before turning back.

“Why?”

Sebastian stared at him steadily. That answer was easy enough. “Because I know what it’s like for someone else to hurt you.”

Cameron swallowed then checked his watch.

“We have to do it today,” he declared, shoving his hand in his pocket and fishing out a pair of keys. “Follow me to my place and we can get there while Roy is out.”

“Homeboy leaves the house on a Sunday?”

Cameron rolled his eyes. “Yes. He has golf on Sundays. Follow my car and we’ll be at my apartment in a few minutes.”

*

His mom had been pissed as hell that they’d ditched the brunch after being there less than 30 minutes but that was something William would pay for later. He had a plan now. And as soon as he and Cameron were Done, he could get back to the farm, get back to his new life and start to forget about all the bullshit that was the Cameron Drama Sideshow.

Sebastian was quiet in the car and William felt a pang of guilt.

“Sorry,” he said as they got into Lewis’s truck to follow Cameron.

“For what? I said I wanted to come,” Sebastian said.

“Yeah well, I’ve been…” He’d been what? In his own head? Stressed? Pissed off? “An ass.”

Sebastian shook his head, then hesitated. “Because it’s your mom’s house?”

William shrugged and turned on the car, following the brand new sedan that Cameron was driving. “A bit. And because it’s Cam and because… that house doesn’t have good memories for me, okay? But. I shouldn’t have let Mom drag you off. Just… dude, when she decides she wants something, I usually just get out of her way.”

“Hmm. So that’s where you get it from,” Sebastian said.

William smirked then glanced over. “She say anything to you?”

Sebastian shrugged, eyes back out the window. “No. Just asked if you were doing okay since the mines.”

William grimaced. Yeah, okay, that would be a sore subject.

“Mom and Dad… I haven’t been the best kid, okay. Got into a lot of trouble in high school before I joined up. And then from there… well. The accident n’ shit. Took me a while to get my head straight.”

Sebastian was watching him now and tapping his foot.

“You mind if I smoke?” he asked William. Will rolled the window down and Sebastian pulled the cigarettes out like he was a drowning man looking for a life preserver.

William waited until he’d lit up and then asked, “So, that shit you told Cam. Can you really do that? Just type something into the computer and get the info?”

Sebastian ashed the cigarette out of the window and nodded, eyes half closed as he soaked in his nicotine hit.

“Yeah,” he said, putting the stick to his lips again. “Computers don’t care who tells them what to do as long you have the right words.”

“So basically they’re people,” William said.

“No,” Sebastian said, leaning back in his seat. “You can tell people the right things all day long but it still might not get through.”

William couldn’t argue with that.

They sat in silence for a bit until William turned on a classic rock station, letting Creedence Clearwater fill the car. Sebastian didn’t seem to care to say anything else, but William couldn’t help but feel like the comment had been aimed at him.

They left the ‘burbs and got into the ritzy residential part of the upper East end of Zuzu. Will parked the Yellow Engine That Could next to a parking meter, slipping into a parallel with easy practice. Cameron was waiting for them at the parking garage that was connected to the big fancy apartment building. It had a doorman.

“Alright,” Cameron said, nervous as they walked through a beautifully appointed space that looked more like a hotel’s lobby than a place where people lived. “We have about an hour before Roy gets back from the 18th hole.”

“So he’s bringing the 19th hole with him?” William asked dryly as they stepped into the elevator.

“Shut up, you’re not funny,” Cameron said, icy.

“I dunno,” Sebastian said, leaning against the elevator. “I thought it was sort of funny.”

“You’re a child,” Cameron sniffed.

“Oh, Daddy,” Sebastian simpered, leaning dramatically onto William’s arm.

He grinned, draping his arm over Sebastian’s shoulders. “Hmmm… you call him kid like it’s a bad thing, Cam.”

Cameron rolled his eyes.

“Congratulations, you found someone to fuck who is as immature as you are.”

“Seems like if he wanted boring and uptight, he wouldn’t have upgraded,” Sebastian said mildly, his body relaxed underneath William’s arm.

“Boys,” William said absently, trying not to be too amused at the zingers. “Focus. We have a mission here.”

Cameron opened his mouth but William shook his head. “Look, you’re nervous, I get it. Stop taking it out on us or I’ll let my pet twink here keep sharpening his claws on your ass, okay?”

Cameron’s mouth snapped shut and the elevator dinged, revealing a long hallway with only a few doors on the stretch.

“Well,” Cameron said, “follow me, then.”

They followed him down a large and well-lit hallway that had a plush rug so thick their footsteps almost left indentions in the weave. Expensive light sconces lined the wallpapered corridor to the end of the hall. Cameron unlocked the door and ushered them into one of the most modern looking apartments that William had ever seen.

“Is this where you live or just have parties?” William asked, looking at the sleek metallic table in the foyer. Sebastian slipped in after and stepped around him.

“We live here,” Cameron said. “What? Don’t you like it?”

“Looks like you’d cut yourself on the walls,” William muttered, looking around. It was a big apartment and Roy probably paid a fortune for it.

Cameron turned and walked down the hall and opened a heavy-colored office. The walls were wood, the floor a thick carpet. It was dominated by a huge desk.

“This is where he keeps the computer.”

Sebastian stepped in and sat down, fired it up and started to work. He ran his fingers over the keys and immediately came across a password-locked screen.

“Paranoid?” he said dryly, looking around the room. Then he opened a drawer.

“What are you doing?” Cameron said.

“People tend to forget passwords,” Sebastian said absently, flipping through the notebooks in the drawer. Nothing. Then he frowned at the computer. He pulled the mousepad up and bingo: taped underneath was a sticky note with a set of numbers and letters. He typed them in and boom, entrance. He rolled his eyes then let the mouse cover drop.

“So, you need anything else?” William asked.

“Time,” Sebastian said as he began to let his fingers fly over the keyboard.

*

Will was watching him, pride warring with deep amusement.

“This place ain’t your style, Cam,” Will said, looking around. “There ain’t a doily in sight.”

Cameron gave him a withering look.

Sebastian didn’t bother telling them to leave, though their bickering was annoying. He wanted to hear what they said and people tended to ignore a guy if he seemed locked into a task. As it was, Roy’s security system was a joke. He pulled up the PowerShell with three taps and began to type in the sixty lines of code that would let him stalk all of Roy’s activity.

“This might not work,” Cameron said softly, glancing around the large modern space.

Sebastian rolled his eyes as he finished the first ten lines. Wouldn’t work? By the time he was done, he’d have all of Roy’s work secrets piped into a private server. From the time he drove home to the time he was able to turn his computer on, he’d have access and a window into everything the jerk was doing. Will at least didn’t have the bad manners to agree with him. It warmed Sebastian’s heart to have that trust. He was looking around the office instead, his eyes scanning the room with that aggressive protectiveness that Sebastian couldn’t help but associate with him.

“Are you even safe here tonight, Cam?”

Cameron shrugged. “As long as nothing goes out of the ordinary, then yes, I’m fine.”

“I have a place, you know. A place he’d never be able to get to you,” William said looking at him sideways.

Sebastian froze and joined Cameron in staring at him.

“Your house? Out in the boonies. You cannot be serious.”

Sebastian opened his mouth and then closed it, snapping his eyes back to the code, fury making him backspace twice as he went back to typing. Cameron. Will's ex. His beautiful and vulnerable and experienced ex-lover…staying at Will’s house. Where Will slept. He grit his teeth.

Will, the clueless asshole, shrugged. “It wouldn’t be forever. I can sleep on the couch. You can take the bed. Until you get free of this and get back on your feet.”

Sebastian froze again. Then swallowed.

He didn’t live with Will. He couldn’t tell him what to do, and the fuck if he was going to protest in front of Cameron. But Will should have said something to him before just volunteering to have Cameron “Mr. Perfect” Baker staying at his house!

Cameron hesitated, clearly torn. Sebastian glared at him but then had his anger die; he was actually considering it.

He snapped his eyes back to the screen. Thirty more lines to input.

Was he misreading something? Was Cameron that scared of his fiance? Was this Roy guy so bad that he’d go out to the middle of nowhere and hide from him? He tried not to feel jealousy as Will reached over, his hand squeezing Cameron’s shoulder.

“My job…” Cameron said.

“He’ll be watching that,” Will said softly, increasing the pressure before letting off. “After we do this…”

Twenty-five lines. He would say something after he’d finished the next Twenty-five lines.

“I’m still under contract,” Cameron said slowly. “And we don’t have anything yet. Let’s see what golden boy can get off those machines and...”

They all froze as they heard movement at the front door. Sebastian stopped typing. All of them looked up and Cameron’s face grew pale.

“Oh god… he’s home early.”

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [TurtleTotem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleTotem/profile) and [GingerDelight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/profile) who took this bleeding chapter, stitched it back together with their lil' beta hands and have been so supportive and helpful. Y'all. Y'all don't even know. I don't know that I'd be making it this far down the road with this gorilla of a fic on my back if it weren't for these two.
> 
> Thank you for reading! If you liked it, I don't know unless you leave a comment, kudo or bookmark. ;)
> 
> As always updates are on Saturdays from 8pm-10pm CST
> 
> If you ever want current info, please follow me on Tumblr [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dracoangelicawritesfanfiction). I am chatty and love to hear from y'all so feel free to drop a line. <3


	41. Game Changer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> -Domestic Violence  
> -Country Music Used as Weapon  
> -William being an arrogant show-off

No one liked a surprise attack. Yet, the possibility of being discovered had been on William’s mind ever since they’d come home with Cam. William wouldn’t have put it past Roy to have cameras or something set up where he could watch Cam when he wasn’t home. Paranoid? Not if they really were out to get you.

William’s eyes scanned the office as a plan formed. He touched Cam’s shoulder. “Can you stall him?”

Cam swallowed, then nodded. “I… I think so.”

“Okay,” William said, eyes narrowed. “Here is the plan. You stall. Me and Sebastian hide. _Don’t_ leave with him.”

Cam nodded, then slipped out, closing the door of the office behind him and leaving him and Sebastian in dimness. Sebastian hadn’t stopped typing, the gentle staccato of the keyboard barely making a sound in the big room. William came over to look at what he was doing.

All that was on the screen was a midnight blue box with tiny white print in coded language running across the screen.

“Almost done,” Sebastian whispered, eyes glued to his work.

“That’s good,” William said, eyes skimming the room. They needed a safe zone. He turned to the side and checked a door—it was a closet. Tight fit for both of them but…

They both looked up when they heard footsteps. Sebastian looked back down and William stepped closer to the office door, and turned his head, listening.

“—so like I said, boring day,” Cam said.

“At least you can make the shoot on time.” That was Roy. His superiority and arrogance dripped from each word. “Have you seen my club card? Howard had to slide me in.”

“Oh, I think it’s on your dresser.”

“Great. Go get it. I have something I need to get out of the office—”

William shot away from the door and went around the desk.

Sebastian had just moved his fingers off the keyboard and was clicking on several dialog boxes with the mouse.

“No more time—”

“There,” Sebastian whispered, hitting a last key. The computer began to shut down. William pulled him out of the chair and they hurried to the closet. William shoved him in first then closed the door carefully, just as they heard Cam frantically say, “But—!”

Silence.

The closet was dark and smelled like dust. William could feel Sebastian shaking quietly. _Great date, Bauer_ , he thought. _Take all your boyfriends on such wacky adventures, or was Sebastian just lucky?_ He reached an arm out and pulled Sebastian close, both to comfort and to muffle his breathing. Sebastian didn’t fight it. He hid his face against William’s chest. William’s own breathing was calm, his heart-rate steady. It wouldn’t do anyone any good to freak out right now with Roy so close to figuring out their attempt on his information. Besides. As irritating as the interupption was, William still thought it was salvagable.

“But what, Cameron?” they heard Roy say.

“But… my, when was the last time we updated the decor in here? Everything is so dark.”

“It’s elegant,” Roy said dismissively. “Besides, you decorated the rest of the house. This is my space. Now go get that card please? I’d like to be able to make my tennis match this afternoon.”

“Of course, baby,” Cameron said, his voice uneasy.

William waited, listening. They were in the dark, the only light the slice that was at the bottom of the door. Sebastian’s shaking increased and William held him a bit tighter, stroking his back. He’d been so calm when he’d been doing the coding thing but apparently the tension of the closet was a bit much. He wanted to say something but didn’t dare until he knew Roy was gone.

A few minutes later and they heard Cam. “So after this shoot today, Angie invited me to go with her to Victory.”

“You were just in Victory,” Roy said, bored. They could hear him typing on his computer.

“Yes, but that was for the promotion. This is personal. She’s going to be re-landscaping her yard and wanted an opinion on plants.”

The typing stopped.

“Don’t you get tired of hanging out with that nosy bitch?” Roy sneered.

William’s eyes narrowed, fury rolling through him. Who in the hell did this stinking piece of fuckshit think he was to call Ma a bitch?

Sebastian gripped his shirt, reminding him that it would be a Bad Idea to burst out of the closet.

“That’s unkind,” Cam said, censure in his voice.

Unkind? It was more than unkind. It was an ass-kicking offense and William planned on marking that charge as part of his defense when he went up to the judge.

“You spend a lot of time with her,” Roy said, clearly unruffled.

“She’s practically my mother,” Cameron said, annoyed.

“But she’s not _actually_ your mom. Maybe your relationship with Gloria would be better if you tried to mend fences instead of hanging around the Bauer heifer like a suck-up.”

Sebastian’s fingers dug into William’s shirt so tight that William had to relax at risk of ripping the fabric.

“You never complained about my connection with the Bauers when David approved that big loan you needed last month,” Cam snapped.

“I’m not complaining. I’m giving you advice to improve your relationships.”

“No,” Cameron said, frustrated. “You insulted my friend.”

“Don’t be bitchy, Cameron,” Roy said, his voice dangerous.

“…of course not,” Cam said, backing down. But something had shifted.

“Do you think that it’s okay to just dictate what I do because you don’t like something?” Roy asked, silky.

“I didn’t—”

“Because I’m trying to be nice today. After the performance of last night—”

“Roy,” Cameron said, sounding more frightened.

“Hmmm, you know what I like?” They could hear something bump and shove. “I like when you cry about it.”

Cameron made a choking sound and William’s heart rate—previously steady in the face of danger—began to speed.

“Fuck this shit…” he muttered.

“Don’t you dare,” Sebastian hissed, pulling him back.

William put his hands on top of Sebastian’s and pressed his thumbs against his wrists, digging pressure into the tendons to make him unlock his hands. He gasped at the pressure and William was careful to let go. Something had crashed in the office behind them. William leaned down, and whispered, “While I’m a distraction, I want you to slip out and get to the car.” He pulled the car keys out of his pocket, cupping them so they didn’t jingle. “Lock the doors. Wait fifteen minutes. If me or Cam don’t come out, go to Ma’s. Have her call the cops.”

“This is so dangerous,” Sebastian hissed, his voice barely audible.

“Welcome to dating me,” William retorted, turning Sebastian’s hand up and pressing the keys into them.

Sebastian snagged his wrist and William froze.

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

William relaxed, then cupped his face. Even though it was dark, he knew where Sebastian’s eyes were in the shadows. He could feel Sebastian’s breath on his chin, feel the fluttering of his pulse against his fingertips.

“Trust me.”

Sebastian’s breath hitched and William let him go. Then he turned towards the door, took a deep breath and burst it open.

*

Sebastian shrank back into the closet, wide-eyed as Will stomped out, swinging the door shut behind himself so quickly that he knew no one had seen him. His heart pounded in terror. What in the world could Will be thinking to go out there and just confront Roy like this?

There was shouting, but Sebastian’s brain was running a mile a minute, calculating when he could escape, processing how crazy this all was. They didn’t want Roy to know they’d been there, yet here Will was, causing a scene, creating a tornado of chaos in what should have been a simple, ‘hide until the bad guy goes away’ scenario.

“—will have you arrested for trespassing!”

“I dunno, I don’t see a fucking secretary around to dial the phone for you.”

Sebastian shook his head.

He had to get it together.

If he went out there, it would make everything worse.

And it was clear now why Cameron needed to leave. No one could stay in a situation where they were going to be choked for talking back. He slid up to the door, which Will hadn’t actually closed all the way. He peeked out. Cameron was behind Will, leaning over the desk, rubbing his throat as he did. Roy was on the other side of the room, eyes wild with fury, his body bowed up. Will stood between him and Cameron. He was blocking all line of sight to the closet door. In fact, Will was stalking forward, herding Roy deeper into the big office and soon would have his focus turned away from the escape. It would give Sebastian enough time to get out. He could run down, could get to their car.

“Yeah, so this is a whole lot of Fuck That Noise,” Will was saying as he slow-stalked Roy backwards; Roy’s face was turning colors of purple and red that would have made a pomegranate proud. “Because the hell I’m letting one of my friends stay with a dick-cheese like you.”

“This is private property and _none_ of your concern.”

“How about I make it my fucking concern!”

Yet Will wasn’t swinging at Roy, just intimidating him backwards with each step. Sebastian’s heart was galloping. He tensed. His moment to run was coming. He glanced over and saw that Cameron was also backing up, eyes locked on the confrontation in a blend of shock and terror. Sebastian bit his lip, then saw it – Will had turned Roy’s gaze. They were shouting at each other now. Every time Roy would try to reach for a phone or threaten Will, Will would shout something back, his movements big and intimidating.

“Cameron,” Sebastian hissed.

Cameron turned his head and then blinked as though he’d forgotten that Sebastian was even there in the first place.

“Let’s go,” he whispered, finally slipping out of the room.

Cameron hesitated, reminding Sebastian of a beaten dog who was still not quite ready to leave a cage. He glanced at Will and Roy, heart in his throat, then moved, snagging Cameron by his wrist and pulling. It was enough. They left the room, unnoticed.

Once they were out, Sebastian turned, his hand still locked around Cameron’s wrist.

“Do you have things you can grab? You’re going to need them.”

Cameron swallowed, then turned and they slid into a large and modern bedroom. Sebastian tried not to throw up and listened as Cameron frantically pulled a bag out of his closet, opened up a set of drawers and began to shove items into it. He zipped through the room like a jet. Sebastian’s heart was pounding as Will and Roy yelled, shouting and then… something crashed. He tensed, terror running through him. More shouting.

“Come on,” he hissed, as Cameron shoved and dug around.

“I am,” Cameron snapped back, shoving a phone charger into the bag. Then he pulled open a bedside drawer and withdrew a roll of cash that he threw in, zipping it up. He shoved it over his shoulder and froze at the door with Sebastian. There was more shouting and Cameron let out a breath.

“Let’s go,” he said, turning towards the door. Sebastian hesitated.

“But… Will…”

“Can take care of himself. You and I would get in the way. Let’s go.”

Sebastian struggled with the choice, but remembered Will’s words.

He had to trust him.

“Alright,” he said resolutely.

*

William had fought and dealt with fucktards like Roy his whole damn life.

They were all big ego’d, big dicked motherfuckers who thought because they had power in a board room that they had power in life.

It was the most satisfying illusion to shatter.

Cathartic in a way.

Like popping bubble wrap.

They insulted each other for a bit.

Motherfucker this.

Shithead that.

I’ll sue you this.

Fucking try it that.

And then Roy swung on him.

Which was a fucking broadcast, if William had ever seen one. Sidestepping it was easy. Roy overbalanced and Will glanced up in the interim. It was so convenient of the interior designer to love mirrors because he could clearly see Sebastian waiting in a doorway, watching the office with eyes as big as saucers.

Well fuck, the boys were still in the house. What part of 'get the fuck out' didn’t Sebastian understand the first time?

“You fucking punch like an inflatable clown,” William said in cheerful amusement to the snarling asshole on the ground. “What’s wrong? Don’t like it when the bitch moves out of the way?”

“You are going to fucking prison for this, you invasive, house-breaking hoodlum!”

Yawn. Threats. This guy was a fucking mealy-mouthed weasel.

“Do your worst, you stuffed shirt,” William said, eyes on the mirror again. He saw the movement and jumped out of the way, this time Roy crashing into his own rolling chair. It smashed to the ground and Roy went tumbling.

“Assault!” Roy yelled at him.

“Bullshit, you pussy. The only assault going on is your furniture fighting back.”

“I am going to press CHARGES when you’re arrested. I’m calling security,” he fumed, reaching for the desk phone. William was faster, pulling the cord out of the phone, cutting it off. Roy shouted in outrage and picked up the plastic handset, throwing it, hard, against William. William knocked it out of the air, backing up, ears tuned for movement in the hallway. Goddamn it, what had they stopped for? Hadn’t William told him to go straight to the door?

He backed up more. He couldn’t let Roy throw everything on the desk at him. That just wouldn’t be very helpful if he destroyed the computer that Sebastian has spent all that time bugging for him.

“You gotta catch me first, Fancypants,” William taunted.

He relaxed when he heard the front door open and close. Roy wasn’t paying attention but then again, he was so pissed off that William doubted he would remember this fight with any sense of clarity.

Not that dodging his office-toys was much of a fight to start with.

Roy picked up a metal statue and flung it at William and he ducked, letting it sail over his head and shatter a vase behind him.

“God, Roy,” he said in mock amazement. “Look at all the damage I’m doing to your office. And I didn’t even have to lift a finger. Should have put telekinetic on my last job application.”

“GET. OUT!”

William shook his head. “I don’t know, man. I was invited and everything. Wouldn’t want you to think I’m a poor house guest.”

Roy pulled his cell phone out of his pocket but William dived forward, slapping it out of his hand. Roy took the opportunity of William closing the distance to throw another punch. William slid with it, snagged the wrist and rolled Roy over his hip, turning his arm back on him and using the lever of the arm to smash Roy’s face into his plush-as-fuck carpet.

It was almost like sparring on the foam mats that he’d trained on in the military… with the special addition of rug burn.

“Assault!” Roy spit-snarled from the carpet.

“You misspelled self-defense, asswipe,” William said, pinning him with his own shoulder, his hand on the elbow. It was pathetic how textbook the hold was.

“When I get the poli—”

“Here is the deal,” William said, placing his foot between Roy’s shoulder blades and finally getting some silence on account of his airway being slightly compromised. “I, being a good and gracious motherfucker, am going to leave. I’m taking Cam away to a place where he doesn’t get his ass beat by Mr. CEO. You are welcome to call the cops but you know, the Bauer lawyers are used to sweeping up my messes, so, I’m not too worried about it.” Roy started to speak and Will ground his foot a little harder. “However, if you feel the absolute _itching_ need to fight back?” William leaned down and his voice became a deadly growl. “I will come back here and rip off _this_ arm right here—” he gave the limb gentle pressure which caused a high whine from Roy underneath him “—and beat your ass with it. Are we clear?”

Roy was shaking now and William knew the pain receptors were overpowering him. His compromised air was making his head feel woozy. It was a good position and he’d used it on many a stubborn recruit back in his drill sergeant days. William waited another moment, wanting the lesson on Not Fucking With What Was William Bauer’s to sink in… then he dropped him.

Roy curled into a ball, hugging his arm against himself as he panted on the ground. William turned and walked out.

*

Sebastian felt an overwhelming sense of terror the longer they sat in the car. Cameron wasn’t making it any better, sitting in the backseat and rocking himself. He had his phone out and was sending a series of texts and emails. And he kept chattering, which made Sebastian’s anxiety climb on the charts.

“It’s going to be fine,” Cameron repeated for the fifth time. “I’ve seen Will get out of tighter scrapes than this.”

Sebastian nodded, eyes on the street.

“And it’s always hard to wait for them to come back but you know, he’s practically indestructible,” Cameron said.

For a moment the list of all those surgeries flared up in Sebastian’s mind. The way that Will had held his hand out to him that day on the porch, weeks ago, letting him see the track-marks on his knuckles from where he’d injected himself with poison. He and Cameron had different definitions of indestructible.

“I’m sure they’re just talking,” Cameron babbled, fingers twisting around his phone.

Sebastian remembered the breaking glass. What language was that talk happening in? Neanderthal?

“Maybe we should call the cops? What if…” Cameron’s voice faded.

Sebastian turned his head to see where he was looking and his heart lifted. William was coming out of the side of the big apartment building, his face… cheerful.

He opened the door and got into the electric car, the vehicle rocking a bit as he settled in.

“Home, James,” he pronounced, slamming the door.

Sebastian stared at him in shock. He didn’t look touched. Not a bruise or a cut anywhere near his face. Sebastian pressed the button to start the car with nerveless fingers and turned them out of the street.

“Oh my god, William, what the hell happened?” Cameron gasped from the back seat, shifting so he could lean between their front seats. “Are you okay? Did you kill him?”

“Not today,” William said, leaning back in the seat, his hands on his knees.

Sebastian looked over at the two of them. Cameron looked… uncomfortably awed by William. Which sucked because now that he knew that William was alright, he was feeling a slow, smoldering fury at the entire situation. Sebastian gripped the gear shift, even though it was an automatic, because if he didn’t, then he’d have a choke hold on the wheel and probably even Cameron would realize how pissed off he was.

He’d been so worried… and William was smirking like a well-fed cat.

“What did you do? Do you think he's going to call the police?” Cameron asked.

“Likely,” William said, reaching a hand to cover Sebastian’s.

Sebastian pulled his hand away. He put it up on the wheel.

“Hey,” Will said, annoyed. “What’s up?”

“Not talking about it right now,” Sebastian said.

“Are you okay?”

“Not. Talking. Right. Now,” Sebastian said, each word a clip.

“Ooooh, whoops. Trouble in paradise,” Cameron smirked from the back seat.

“Shut up, Cameron,” Will and Sebastian snapped at the same time.

Cameron let out a long sigh, then sank into the back seat.

Sebastian could feel William’s eyes on him, could tell he was trying to measure him out. He didn’t care.

So many things could have gone wrong there. What if Roy had been armed? What if he hadn’t been alone? What if he really did call the police? How was Will going to stay out of trouble? And while he agreed that Cameron shouldn’t be in that house… why couldn’t they have just sat outside while Cameron got his things and left? Will had shoved them right in the middle of it. On top of it all, if he’d been caught putting malicious code on Roy’s computer? Fuck.

_Idiot_ , he reminded himself, _this was what you wanted. You wanted to support him._

Did supporting him mean dancing to his destructive tune, though? Did supporting him mean following him into stupid situations and just trailing along? Did supporting him mean braiding the figurative rope so that he had a pretty noose to hang himself on? There had to have been a better way to solve that. They were smart guys, both of them. There could have been a better thought out plan. A better way of letting that go down without anyone potentially getting hurt.

The silence in the car became thick. Then oppressive. Will was shooting him furtive looks and Sebastian wanted a cigarette in the worst way. He actually had a lot to say. He wanted to say it. But the fuck if he was saying it in front of Cameron.

After several more minutes, William reached over and snapped on the radio, choosing a country station local to the valley.

“Oh my god,” Cameron whined from the back seat. “Must you?”

Sebastian reached over and turned it up.

It took them over an hour to reach the farm. Will let out a long sigh when Sebastian pulled them up. Cameron had dozed for a while in the back seat and Will had, once more, tried to edge out some words, but Sebastian didn’t trust Cameron to actually be deep enough asleep. And despite his current dislike for the troublemaking man, he didn’t want him to feel bad over things that were, for all intents and purposes, between himself and William.

Because William was Sebastian’s boyfriend. And their issues should stay between them.

“Cameron,” Sebastian said, “do you mind if I talk to William privately?”

Cameron hesitated but then nodded, getting out of the car, looking around Will’s farm. When he’d closed the door, Sebastian changed the radio station to a rock station. The music was less grating on his nerves than the country had been. William’s arms were crossed and he was waiting, an expectant look on his face.

“That… was stupid back there,” Sebastian began.

“I agree. Roy shouldn’t have thought he could get away with fucking choking another person without consequences.”

“That goes for you too, Will. There are _consequences_ to getting involved here.”

“I know. Which was why I fucking told you to stay your ass home and let me deal with it.”

“No!” Sebastian snapped. “That’s not how relationships work. You don’t just get to go charge off and be a hero while I wring my hands at home like the god-damned little woman!”

“I’m not a _hero_ ,” William snapped. “I’m doing what needs to be done!”

“What needed to be _done_ was for someone to call the police. Instead we put ourselves in a lot of danger over this!”

“People like Roy don’t just _stop_ because a lawman asks him nicely, Bastian,” William snapped back. “Bullies don’t stop unless someone makes them. And sometimes you have to speak their language to make them get that!”

“Okay, fine. Let’s say that was the best way – which it wasn’t – to handle that. You’re letting Cameron stay at your house?” Sebastian said.

“Well shit, yeah! He’s safe there.”

“He’d be safe at your mom’s house.”

“Bullshit. Roy knows where Ma’s place is. Half the movers and shakers in Zuzu know where Ma’s is.”

Sebastian glared at the steering wheel. He inhaled then tried for a calmer tone.

“Will, you’re letting him stay in your bed.”

Will blinked. “Not _with_ me, Sebastian. If you haven’t been paying attention, we fucking hate each other.”

“No,” Sebastian growled, “you don’t.”

“I’m not going to ch—” Will said.

“Not what I’m talking about!” Sebastian snarled.

Will tried to talk over him. “Look, he needs help, he—”

“He’s vulnerable and you’re safety, you giant dick,” Sebastian nearly shouted. “Don’t you see the effect you can have on people? God. You just went into his house, beat up his bully, and are taking him home to your fucking bed. You are so _stupid_. He’s going to try something tonight and you just expect me to be okay with that?”

William opened his mouth. Closed it. Frowned. Sebastian’s heart was pounding from their fight. Fuck, it had been pounding all damn day. He was eaten up with nerves and badly wanted to just... find his center again.

Then Will turned and stared off into space, finally saying, “Huh.”

Sebastian strangled the steering wheel, imagining for one moment, it was William’s thick neck.

They were silent as the radio played. Then William spoke.

“You can trust me, Sebastian.”

Sebastian shook his head, exhausted by the whole day. Trust? That’s what Will wanted to talk about? What about a modicum of security? A tidbit of normalcy? He rubbed his forehead. “Yeah,” he said, not sounding convinced. “I’m just being paranoid.”

Will shook his head and then reached out, turning Sebastian’s face to look at him.

“No, you’re not,” he whispered, staring into his eyes. “I believe you, okay. But this is temporary. Nothing is going to happen. I won’t let it.”

Sebastian swallowed, Will’s determination and focus making him shiver. It was like being caught in tractor beams… like being lassoed straight from the heart.

“I believe you,” Sebastian repeated, “but I don’t like it.”

William nodded, face twisting. “Look. I’ll figure something else out for tomorrow. It’s too late tonight to figure out an alternative.”

Sebastian sighed and reluctantly, William let go of his face.

“I’m going to go home and start digging through Roy’s computer,” Sebastian said, grim. “The faster we get all that blackmail off of Cameron, the faster he can go the fuck home.”

William nodded, still looking at him. Sebastian felt another wave of frustration. It seemed it was like this all the time between them. They’d crash together for moments of perfect clarity and unity, but whenever the world came into things, there was this… disconnection. William was reaching for him again, and Sebastian could only feel like his circuits were scrambled.

“I’ll call you if I get anything tonight,” he said.

“And I’ll see you tomorrow,” Will said, firm.

Sebastian nodded, expecting him to get out of the car. Will was hesitating. Waffling about something. Unlike him, he thought. Was he finally ready to talk? Say something beyond ‘William Smash’? Sebastian watched him and noticed Will’s fists were on his knees, curled into balls. He swallowed.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

William closed his eyes then shook his head.

“No. I guess not,” Will said. He turned and opened up the car door. Let it close softly behind him. Sebastian sank into the seat, watching him snag Cameron’s bag and walk up the steps to his porch. Was it a month ago that they’d been fooling around on those very steps? It felt like a year. Sebastian blew out a breath, turned up the music, then went home.

*

Nothing could destroy the high of a good fight like someone reminding you what a bad idea the fight had been in the first place, William reflected as he unlocked his front door and watched Ingrid stretch herself awake on his couch. She stared at them with unveiled hostility. She had two modes: fluffy ball of hate and sweet cuddle-monster. Coin flip to see which they’d get today.

“I don’t believe it,” Cam drawled as he looked around William’s newly renovated cabin. “You actually have electricity out here.”

“Didn’t at first,” William confessed, shifting to the side so that Cam could come inside.

It was weird. He and Cam hadn’t been alone together since… his brain shied away from that particular flow of memories.

“Moving up in the world, Bauer,” Cam said as he reached over to pet Ingrid. She was a fickle cat. William closed the door and watched as she accepted the attention for a few seconds before batting Cam’s hand with a few hits and then leaping off the couch to go hide under William’s bed in the other room.

“She’s not that friendly,” William deadpanned as Cameron rubbed his hand.

“Looks like she’s got the right owner,” Cam said.

“Watch your manners, Baker.” William walked to his fridge, pulling out a beer. He held it up, but Cam shook his head, sinking down onto the couch, eyes focused elsewhere. William paused as he went to open the bottle, Sebastian’s words replaying in his head. Maybe lowering his defenses with Cam was a bad idea. He put the beer back and snagged two bottles of water instead. He came back over and put the water where Cam could reach it, then retreated to the other side of the couch. Cam reached over and took it, drinking.

William turned on the TV. Noise. Something to distract from the thoughts he didn’t want to examine right now. Cam made a face at the sports station and absently, William changed the channel. There was a comedy on. He kept track as Cam relaxed. Yup. The fucker still liked the fake funny shit.

William drank his water, replaying the fight.

It wasn’t fair, he decided, for Sebastian to throw such a fit. He hadn’t even really hit the guy. The point had been to piss the fucker off and distract him so that Cam and Sebastian could get out – and he’d succeeded at that. He glanced back over at Cam, uneasy at how easy it was to slip into old habits with him.

When Cam wasn’t shooting off his damn mouth like it was his last firework, things hadn’t been so bad. Even if he’d had to endure bad TV to get him to shut the hell up.

Cam was watching the show but William knew if he gave the first sign of wanting to talk, then he’d talk. Only, William didn’t want to talk. He wanted to walk back over to Sebastian’s and remind him that what they had went beyond helping Cameron out this one time. Make him remember that they were good together. Fuse him close somehow. Because William wondered if maybe he was slipping past.

Fuck. Maudlin thoughts. Time to go do something useful instead.

William rolled his eyes and stood up, eliciting a reaction.

“Where are you going?”

Damn. The sound of Cam’s frightened voice was like a knife to his heart. Even at their worst, even when William had been the world’s biggest asshole to share an apartment with, Cam had never been afraid. Maybe worried. Like the time that William’s surgical site had gotten eaten up with staph after two days. He’d been frustrated, like the first three months of Physical Therapy when William’s entire vocabulary had consisted of ‘yes’ ‘no’ ‘thank you’ and ‘fuck off’. He’d been depressed… like when William’s ability to be intimate had been destroyed by his medication regimen for months. But even when they were screaming in each other’s faces, William couldn’t remember him ever being afraid. It sat as well as a rock on his foot.

“Just got to do some evening chores,” he said, voice calm. He watched Cam sink back into the couch. William’s instinct was to touch his shoulder. Remind him that it was okay.

_He’s going to try something_.

He kept his hand at his side.

“I’ll be right outside if you need anything.”

Cam turned to the TV and nodded, his long brown fingers tugging at the water bottle label. William waited a moment and as predicted, Cam spoke.

“I feel like I just drove a wrecking ball through my life.”

William leaned on the back of his couch, fingers folded, and shrugged. Wrecking ball and him were synonymous terms.

Cam continued. “It’s just… how did I fuck up so badly? Why do I feel like I’ve been living in this brain fog? And then you come in and blow it all back into focus like a tornado.”

William didn’t speak. What could he say?

Cam turned and looked at him, and fuck, Sebastian had been right. Cam’s eyes were soft, velvety, liquid in their emotion. In the past, William would have kissed him, pushing up the temperature, distract them both with sex and exertion until they passed out. Without those tools, he wasn’t sure what he could do to help. But it fucked with him to see Cam as vulnerable as a freshly hatched chick.

“Listen,” William said, maintaining that eye contact. “This? It’s all temporary shit, Baker.” Cameron flinched, looking away. Too much truth, William guessed, too much sandpaper fact against his exposed heart. He kept his voice even, not giving into the softness. “That room?” He pointed to the door. “That’s where you’re staying. There is a shower in there. Go change out of your brunch-duds and into something that’s comfortable. I’ve got to go do some weeding and watering. We’ll find one of those stupid rom-coms you like and get some food. It’s going to be better in the morning.”

William slapped the top of the couch once then turned away, ready to get out of this conversation and into the fresh air.

“You love him?”

The question took William off guard.

“What?”

“That kid. Sebastian. You love him?” Cameron asked, his voice intent.

“He’s not a kid,” William frowned. “He’s only four years younger than we are.”

“He’s never seen war,” Cameron said softly. “He’s never had to make the kinds of decisions that make you hard, William. He might be grown, but he’s still a kid.”

“Yeah,” William sighed.

“Yeah? You agree?”

“No,” William said, opening the front door. “Yeah, I love him.”

*

It took less than an hour to get the _ping_ that Roy was on his computer and working. Sebastian had added in script allowing him to mirror all of Roy’s desktop files onto his own machine and he found the entire enterprise to be one of the most fascinating digs he’d ever attempted.

He sipped a long pull from the coffee he’d been nursing since he’d gotten home, and watched as script spilled across his monitor. What they were doing was not on the legal side of things… but then again the more he was able to pull up, the more he wondered if they were in bad company.

The keystroke logger did some good work, but the most important bit of script allowed him to adjust and add commands as he wished from a remote location.

He dug through files, skimming names and directories with long ease of cleaning up after sloppy clients who had accidentally downloaded viruses or trojans into their own systems. On one job he’d gone in thinking he’d need to update slow-moving software, only to find out one of the security personnel had been using the company’s massive storage server to maintain his own private pornography collection. When you removed the thousands of video files it was amazing how quickly you were able to increase server speeds.

The pictures were child’s play to locate. Sebastian knew probably he should feel guilty looking over the photos, but he felt removed from what he was seeing. Maybe it was a violation to examine Cameron with any sense of criticism, but he couldn’t help but compare himself. The first picture was Cameron in an examination room, looking sultry at the camera.

Delete.

The next, he was taking off his clothes, giving the camera bedroom eyes as he stroked down his own muscular chest.

Delete.

Now he was shirtless. Sebastian could see his smooth, black skin. He took good care of himself, he noted absently. He knew a lot about the angles he was taking his selfies. He knew that he was attractive. Photogenic.

Delete.

The pictures became more graphic as he went through the files. It was obvious that Cameron had been on the clock and at work while taking them, the hospital clear in the background. He’d been careless.

Delete.

There was even a clock in this one that showed exactly what time the photo had been snapped.

Delete.

Sebastian shook his head. These pictures all broke the cardinal rules of sexting.

If Sebastian had ever sent a naked picture he’d always made sure his face was blurred, his background was too neutral to place him and all identifying marks were covered up. For someone who was older than he was, someone so smart as to be a nurse practitioner… Cameron didn’t have the Internet savvy and basic survival that God had given a twelve-year-old.

There were videos, too. These, Sebastian was positive that Cameron had no idea about.

Roy was a _sneaky_ bastard, he thought as he played the first one, stopping before Cameron and Roy got intimate.

It was a hidden camera set up. It looked as though Roy had more ammunition than just a few dirty texts to ruin Cameron’s life. Sebastian highlighted the group. Deleted.

Then he began to dig for backups. It took longer here, following the service reports and locating the backup server.

Roy wasn’t as stupid as he looked. Sebastian grimaced when he located the time-stamped service dates. One of the backups was a secure server.

But secure wasn’t the same as remote.

That particular dig took two more hours. He drank more coffee, music blaring in his room as he began to hunt pathways to the new server. Finally, after a quick consult with a friend in another network, he got the administrator codes and dug his way onto the backup, hunting for the photos and videos.

It was easy to find them. They were right next to the ‘Environmental Report’ file.

He frowned at that.

Environmental report? Why would Roy save his blackmail next to an Environmental Report?

He clicked the folder open and froze as he saw how full it was.

He opened the first report, curious and nosy.

It was about… Pelican Town.

Sebastian’s heart began to hammer. What was Pelican Town doing in Roy’s files? He began to read.

_Great potential_ … _unfortunate resistance in resource gathering_ … _monstrous creatures… power source… channel the altar_.

There were pictures of monstrous creatures now. They reminded him of the Bestiary expansion book from Knights of Solara… nothing like a creature that could exist in real life.

He skimmed more photos and froze on one that made his heart pound.

It was a Joja team member with a puckered wound on their back. The photo was accompanied by a doctor’s note.

But it looked just like the injury that William had sustained only weeks ago after his sojourn into the mines.

Shock ran through him.

William _knew_ there were monsters.

He’d known and hadn’t said anything.

Sebastian felt sick to his stomach, covered his mouth and kept reading.

It was all here in the files. That there was some sort of power source deep inside those mines, that it was connected somehow to the broken down old community center in town. That Joja wanted to build their warehouse over it—not, as they’d claimed, due to a need for distribution—but because once they did they’d have a literal _magical_ edge to their business.

It was 4 am when he’d copied all the files over and aggressively destroyed the backups. It was 4:15 when he shut off his computer and stood up, his knees weak and his back stiff.

This?

This changed _everything._

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NINE MORE CHAPTERS TO WRAP IT UP DRACO I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!  
> /sweats
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me fam. I have the bestest commenters and readers okay. T_T You guys are constantly rewarding me with your love and support. I see you all. I see those of you who have been here from the beginning and those who have found me a little later in the life of this story.
> 
> Guess what? I still love hearing from you. There is never enough food for a writer. I am a starving lil' bitch when it comes to praise haha.
> 
> This fic updates Weekly on Saturdays between 8pm and 10pm CST. Shout out to [TurtleTotem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleTotem/profile) and [GingerDelight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/profile) for being the best betas a human being could ask for.


	42. Delving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings:  
> -potential drug use  
> -fantastical danger  
> -Love and other sparkly shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT AS OF DECEMBER 14, 2017  
> ***  
> So I’ve had a family emergency come up that is putting me into a bit of an emotional headspace.
> 
> Plus. The holidays are coming up and with this upcoming event, I’m going to be putting Cloudburst on a temporary 3-week hiatus.
> 
> Updates will resume January 6th, 2018. Expect to see the next chapter between 8-10pm CST. 
> 
> Take care. If you have a family you get along with, please make sure you are letting them know that you love them. Life is short fam.  
> ***

William's back rebelled the moment he opened his eyes. Staying on the couch had been the best way possible to twist his muscles into a pretzel. He should have expected it. The spine might have been healed, the strength might have returned since the treatments, but if he overworked or was an idiot with how he slept, he wound up like this. A ball of pain.

Back pain, he'd discovered, was one of the pains that was practically impossible to 'work through'. You needed your spine and the muscles around it for practically everything you did. And when your muscles cramped up into painful lumps, it caused all those wonderful nerves to set off a screaming match that overtook whatever your brain was trying to do instead.

Fuck up your hand? Those nerves still had to go up the arm and shoulder before they could drive through the neck straight to Mr. Brain's office.

Nerves on the spine had a direct fucking line.

Like the goddamned red telephone from a superhero movie.

He hated it.

For a moment, he lay in pain, breathing slowly through the spasms.

He'd done this before, he remembered. Done this before the bad days. Done this when he and Cam had shared that two bedroom back in Zuzu City. He lay on the couch, breathing, remembering for a moment.

The way that the light filtered in through the windows in the morning. He'd asked Cam to get blackout curtains because he wanted it dark when they were sleeping, but the artistic fuck was forever opening them and leaving the gauzy front curtains out, saying the filtered light made the room look softer.

Made daggers drive through his head that early in the morning. He'd thought that if he told Cam that, he might keep the fuckers closed. Still, Cam was the type of fancyfuck that cared more about the aesthetics of a space than the functionality.

William pulled himself out of the memory loop. His mind liked to do that when he was wrestling down the screaming nerves. His brain would lock him somewhere else for a while. He focused on where he was instead. His floor was wooden, the stain was dark and he could follow whirls in the grain. His living room was dim—because he did keep blackout curtains on the windows and at night they were pulled. He focused on the nap of the couch under his fingers. Soft and worn in places.

All he had to do was sit up and he could go and get that bottle of pills from his bathroom.

One pill.

Just one.

William closed his eyes.

It'd been less than two week since the mines. He'd already broken sobriety. His two year streak was shattered, so what was the point in trying to make that number last longer right now? His back hurt today.

It hurt right now and that's what medicine was for.

Two years sober. That proved he could control himself, right?

He focused. Psyched himself up.  _Pushed_.

And he was upright.

More slow breathing.

The muscles contracted and released. He couldn't sleep on the fucking couch again, William decided. He'd figure something else out tonight.

He wouldn't have to sleep on the couch if he had more than one bed in his house, he thought. Maybe the floor wouldn't fuck him up so bad tomorrow. Or maybe Sebastian was right, and he should just bring Cam back to his mom's. It was stupid that their past was making their present so difficult. He wished that he could just pipe Sebastian into his head so he could witness the entire lack of 'interested' he had in anything involving rekindling things with Cam. William had never regretted ending things. Oh sure, he'd been a fucking asshole about it. But William never wondered, 'What Could Have Been' when it came to his relationship with Cam. It had started out as just fucking. God. Was there anyone in Will's life who hadn't started out as just fucking? Those were thoughts he wasn't feeling up to examining too closely.

It took one more shove and he was up, pain writing a streak of white light behind his eyes, erasing his attempts to distract himself. He breathed. Pain could be endured.

William got to his feet and was glad he was alone in the living room. He felt unsteady. He wobbled. If Cameron had been there, he'd try and hold him up, talking 10,000 miles an hour about what he  _should/could/would_  do. Using up air that William wanted just to breathe.

_Come on you fucking stupid strip of bone,_  he thought at his spine,  _fucking work with me here._

Moving stiffly and awkwardly, he opened the door to his bedroom.

The curtains were pulled back, sunshine filtering into the space. Never seemed to bother Cameron to have the sun glowing on his face when he was sleeping. William watched the lump in the middle of his bed rise and fall, waiting.

No movement. Yup. Still slept like a corpse when he was out. Maybe it was the mindset of 'sleep when you can' that you developed on the front. Maybe it was the uncanny ability of medical personnel to shut down the unnecessary parts of themselves in the face of a crisis. Maybe the fucker was just tired and the bed was damn cozy.

William shifted his feet slowly and slipped into the bathroom, closing the door before turning on the light. He kicked a towel against the corner of the bathroom, because of course Cameron had left his wet towel on the floor from the night before. William grimaced. He hated picking up after adults who should fucking know better.

It was a good sized bathroom now that Robin had helped him with the expansion. Before he'd had a shower big enough to turn around in, a pedestal style sink and a toilet. Now he had a medicine cabinet over the sink, a tub, and a few shelves over the toilet. It was practically homey in here.

He opened the cabinet and swallowed.

The little orange bottle with its white cap stared back at him.

_Oxycontin. 20mgs. 60 Tabs. Take 1 tab PO at onset of Pain. Not to exceed 2 tabs in 12 hours. As Needed._

He took it out and closed the cabinet, but froze when he looked at his reflection. For a moment, he didn't see himself.

Instead he was looking at a gaunter face. Hair that had curled and kinked from neglect, matted and dirty. A wild beard that was two shades darker than the hair on his head and infested with lice. He'd had lice as constant companions on the street. He'd had the feeling of crawling in his hair as he woke up and before he went to sleep. He swallowed as he remembered one bored afternoon when he'd picked them out, one by one, popping their fat little bodies between two fingernails, staining his already dirty hands with his own blood.

William dropped the pills in the sink and stepped back, sank onto the toilet and almost threw up.

What was he doing?

What was he thinking?

He turned his body, hitting the shower, shoving the knob down to 'Satan's asshole' on the heat meter and paced in the bathroom for a moment, eyes on the orange bottle.

One bad morning and he was ready to go back to that place?

One little twinge of pain and he wanted to take it back on?

One hard wake up and he wanted to run from it?

_Head on._

The motto was  _Head On_. Not head in the sand.

Because when he ran from things people got hurt.

Nausea really did surge up, and he lifted the toilet seat, vomiting up whatever was left of the frozen pizza from last night. He squatted next to the toilet after, steam rising in the bathroom. He inhaled, straightened, then opened the cabinet and tucked the pills back. He closed the cabinet.

Not today.

Not. Today.

*

Sebastian's room was dark, only the light of his computer screen giving the space illumination. He didn't sleep. He reread the files he'd copied. Then he scrolled to the top of the file and read them again. He directed the little white cursor arrow through the photos of the monster corpses, the only sound in the room the tap of keys and the 'snickclick' of his mouse. He closed one folder then opened another, examined the list of monster pieces that apparently could create tools and weapons against the Gotoros. Reviewed bills of sale. Reviewed lists of bank numbers. It was more than Pelican Town would have spent in ten years. He ran his hands through his hair and drank more coffee. At 4 am, he turned off the monitor and went outside to smoke.

The cool air was shocking to the skin. Sebastian shivered and dug his fists into his pockets as he walked towards the lake, mind still rolling over all the information he'd uncovered from the night before. His eyes felt like they were coated in sand. He probably should just go to bed, he thought as he dug out his cigarette pack and stared out at the lake. But he couldn't imagine sleeping knowing what he knew now.

He lit a cigarette and stared across the water at the dark opening of the mine. It had always been close to their house. Just up the hill. He could see the small bridge that crossed river, linking the mine to the rest of the town. The very mine that housed creatures from a horrible nightmare.

Town rumor had always held that the mines were just dangerous because of the lack of structure. That the supports were unsafe. It had been closed for years before he and his mom had moved in. He and Sam used to dare one another to go inside it. Heck, Sebastian had wandered the opening a few times when he was sneaking cigarettes. He'd heard weird sounds but his logical mind had always thought it was bats. Not monster killer bats, just bats.

He hesitated and glanced at the sky. It was dark. He was sleep deprived. He wasn't going to be making rational decisions in this state.

He smoked and stared at the mines.

Was it really true? Was it honestly true that there were creatures? He couldn't imagine all those reports... all those files... being a joke.

He flicked his cigarette and paced, letting out a breath, smoke coming out in a cloud. If he just had proof... something he could see. It was too fantastic. Too close to fiction. He paced another minute. He tried to imagine Cameron's face as he came into Will's house, declaring there to be monsters that Joja was harvesting and using for a big evil scheme. He'd look like an idiot without proof. Sure, he had what was on the files... but what if it was a trap? He wanted a secondary source of proof. He ashed the butt of his smoke, rubbed it against the bottom of his shoe and stuck it in his pocket. After staring at the opening to the mine for another solid minute, his resolve hardened.

Checked his phone. 4:15am.

If he just went down... took a quick look around? It wasn't like Cameron and Will would be up yet. Sebastian could just take a quick walk down there. Gather more supporting data and then be able to prove it. He went back to his house, pulling his keys out of his pocket and crossed to the garage. He unlocked it and pulled a flashlight out of the tool kit he used to fix his bike. He checked the time. 4:20. Then he started towards the mountain.

If Joja had been down there, there would be traces. They wouldn't be able to hide all the people and equipment they'd need to gather those pictures. They had to have created some type of trail he could follow. And this early in the morning? No way anyone would be at the work site that they'd created. He'd have noticed. Plus, wherever their base was, it had to be close to the entrance…

 As for monsters... how common could they be?

*

William heard the knock at the door at 8 am and looked up from his coffee. He'd stretched his back slowly, walked around and had buttoned the worst of his discomfort underneath a mental shutdown. It was always better after he started moving around. Cameron was still asleep and he'd been sitting, restless, wondering how much longer he was going to have to wait around before Sebastian came back. He was relieved at the knock and crossed the door, moving easily, expecting Sebastian on the other end. Instead, it was a somber Rasmodius.

"You," William said.

"Yes," Rasmodius said acidly, "me."

William rolled his eyes but stepped outside onto his porch, closing his door behind him.

"What is it this time?" he muttered, crossing his arms. "I haven't had a chance to even—"

"This isn't a status visit," Rasmodius said. "I've got alarming news and we haven't much time to spare. We must go into the mines."

William shivered, the memory of crawling out of that dark pit a bit too fresh.

"C'mon man, I just managed to heal up from the last time I got stupid down there."

Rasmodius shook his head.

"It involves the carpenter's boy," he said seriously.

All the hairs rose up on the back of William's neck and he wrapped a hand around Rasmodius's arm with a growl.

"What the  _fuck_  did you just say, Wizard man?"

Rasmodius frowned and tried to pull his arm away but William's grip tightened.

"Unhand me," the wizard warned, "or I promise you will be croaking out your next words."

William's nostrils flared and he finally released the arm.

"Sebastian," he growled, heart hammering, "where is he?"

"In the mines."

William turned and went back into the house, crossing over to a chest that he banged open. He began making mental lists. He had field rations in his cupboard and a canteen. He pulled out a sword and a pair of boots. The mines were dark on the best of days. He grabbed a flashlight, some rope, a roll of duct tape and an empty bag.

"What in the world..." Rasmodius asked from the door.

"We're going after him," William said, strapping the sword to his back.

Rasmodius nodded slowly, still not coming inside, but leaning against his staff, intrigued. "I can see that."

William knocked sharply on his bedroom and then walked in.

Cameron groaned and pulled the sheets over his head as Will kicked the side of the mattress.

"Baker," William barked at him. “Listen up."

Cameron, previously trying to bury himself in the bed, sat up at the tone. William realized he'd slipped into his old drill sergeant voice, a bark that would wake any military man up from a dead sleep. Cameron didn't bother with trying to rub the sleep from his dark eyes, just focused on him with that steady alert they'd shared back when they'd met at the front. He didn't have a smart ass comment for once either. William took that as a good sign.

"I've got to go pull a rescue," William told him grimly.

"Already? Didn't we just do that yesterday?" Cameron said incredulously.

"Yeah well, Sebastian is in trouble," William growled. "I need you on standby in case he's hurt."

Cameron pushed out of bed, stretching.

"What am I working with?" he asked, cautious.

William crossed the room and slid his suitcase of a first-aid kit out.

"What'd you do? Clear out a medical supply store?" Cameron sounded impressed despite himself.

"Don't got time to go over it with you," William said as Cameron popped it open and began to sort through the kit. “But will it do?"

"It looks like it was loaded by an EMT," Cameron said, voice professional as he went through it. "William, did you use a suture kit?"

"Long story. If I get through this with Sebastian in one piece, I'll tell you about it."

Cameron rolled his eyes, sorting through the kit. "Fine. Where am I positioning?"

"Stay here. I'll be back in a bit."

Cameron looked over his shoulder. He nodded. "Be careful, Will."

William grunted and walked out. Rasmodius watched him as he closed the door behind him and then took his arm. William was expecting it this time and wasn't as surprised by the hook-behind-the-bellybutton feeling of the teleport.

They appeared outside of the blackened entrance of the mines. William let out a breath.

"You coming?" he asked Rasmodius.

"I... cannot," Rasmodius said with frustration. "I am a watcher in these circumstances. Only a warrior can successfully navigate the darkness."

"Sounds like a fucking excuse," William groused, shifting his pack and checking his grip on his blade before marching into said darkness.

*

The mines were dark. Very. Very dark.

Sebastian's flashlight beam had cut through it on the first level and he'd followed a path that he'd thought... was regular. So regular that he'd thought it was going to lead him to the Joja zone. After all, who had a foot path for these sorts of areas just laying around?

But then the first creatures had come.

Sebastian had run.

He'd run and then tripped over a ladder and found himself climbing down,  _deeper_  into the darkness of the mine, his flashlight jiggling in a shaking hand.

He'd thought it would be like a LARP, he realized, like Solara. But whatever the hell that larva creature had been had nothing in common with the Knights game that he and Sam had played across the table.

He tried to find his way back but after three missed turns and another frantic trip down a ladder he was hopelessly lost. And it wasn't like in the woods where he could just backtrack. There were  _things_  blocking his way back.

He swallowed, and found a corner to sit down in. To think. He shut off his flashlight to save batteries.

What. A. Giant. Fuck up.

What in the world had he been thinking? That it would be simple to find them down here? He couldn't figure out where they were based on the notes he'd read. He couldn't see anything that resembled the research hall. Had he thought he could just walk in and locate it with a snap of his fingers? God. How arrogant that had been. Maybe William wasn't the only one who needed to focus on reality here.

He let out a slow breath and rubbed his head.

He had to get out of this mine. No one knew he was down here. He pulled out his phone but there was no service. He frowned. Again, an oversight.

_Maybe you wouldn't be so stupid if you hadn't decided this on a stomach full of coffee, no sleep for almost 20 hours and a half a pack of cigarettes._

Oh. So  _now_  his brain wanted to weigh in with logical conclusions. Where had that shit been four hours ago?

The battery blinked red. Twenty percent power left. He swallowed then turned it off to conserve battery. He had to think. Really think.

There had to be a way out. He just had to figure out what it was. Then, once he was out, he'd never come back into these mines again. He looked around and absently noted the lumpy rocks around him. Then froze. Because one of them was moving.

He swallowed back the fear. Fear wasn't going to help him get out of this. Slowly, he stood, heart in his throat. The rock shifted again. He turned on his flashlight, wondering if maybe his mind was playing tricks on him...only to see the rock grow legs.

And start to crawl forward.

He backed up and heard more sounds. Wing beats – like the monstrous insects that he'd run from in the first place to get down here.

_Stay calm... stay calm... stay..._

He was backing up, and his back hit the wall. The walking stone lifted up on its back legs and all he could see in the shadows of the flashlight were the rows and rows and rows of teeth lining the underside of the rock like a revolving saw of death.

He screamed, and covered his head, knowing that today he was actually going to die.

Then something came out of the shadows like a rush of air and slammed against the creature with a metallic twang. He opened his eyes and swallowed back his shout in awe.

_William?_

Will's boot knocked the creature to the ground and then he slammed the tip of his sword home into the mouth. Blood gushed out and Will twisted the weapon, before whipping around and cutting a nearly silent bat out of mid air. And once more. And a final time.

Sebastian hugged the wall, eyes like saucers as he stared.

Will wasn't winded. Wasn't even panting in exertion as he looked around the mines. It was eerie, like he had a hyper sense of the darkness. Sebastian swallowed.

He was standing tall now. Taller than Sebastian could ever remember seeing him. Blood and ichor from the creatures he'd slain were speckled across his face and neck, his hands were bloody from the conflict and Sebastian felt a deep pang of certainty that before today, he'd only seen parts of Will. He'd seen the protector in the club. He'd seen the confident farmer who cleared land and cared for plants. He'd seen the anger barely controlled behind clenched jaws and shaking fists, but it all combined here. The swing of his arms and the concentration on his face. Before this moment, Sebastian had only seen pieces of Will.

This warrior was who William really was.

*

William had picked up Sebastian's trail from the first level of the mines. The footsteps had been easy to follow. What hadn't been easy were the squads of monsters that were following the same paths that William had. He'd shoved his terror down when he'd realized that Sebastian was going deeper into the bottom of the mine instead of exploring out towards the tunnels that stayed on the upper levels. He'd learned that the deeper one went in the dark depths, the harder and more fearsome the creatures had gotten.

But.

He'd only made it down four of the dark levels, stalking a group of bats on the hunt for blood, when he'd come upon him.

Just as he was about to be eaten by a rock crab.

That was his heart attack for the day, he decided.

Taking the creature out had been harder than he'd expected. Usually the stupid things needed one good kick before they were rolling around in screaming terror. Either it was a big one or William was tired from smashing the tiny little hordes that Sebastian had been attracting.

He turned around after dispatching the bats and glared at Sebastian. He wanted to strangle him for scaring him so badly. Sebastian was wide-eyed and flushed against the wall and another, darker part of him wanted to make him pay. But his first touch against Sebastian's neck made his heart shudder.

What was he going to do if he lost him?

William wondered if Sebastian had any idea of how many people he'd lost in his life. If he had any idea of exactly what sort of danger he'd put himself in and how badly... how close they'd been to tragedy.

The hold on Sebastian's neck shifted from a potential strangle, to cupping the back of his head and William kissed him, relief and anger at war. Sebastian melted against him at the first touch, which was good, he thought in his darkest mind, because he was terrified.

When he pulled back to breathe, William growled, "Ought to fucking turn your stupid ass over my knee for going into the mines alone. You fucking dumbass."

"I had a reason," Sebastian managed.

"No reason you could have possibly had was good enough to pull this stunt."

"Will, I—"

William dropped his sword and surged forward, shoving Sebastian against the wall, one hand on his thigh, the other under his arm and with a step he had him pressed against the smooth wall. Sebastian gasped as William hiked him up and ground their hips together. He was satisfied to feel Sebastian's cock growing against his through their pants.

"When we get settled," William told him, his pulse hammering in his ears, "I'm going to tear your ass up so hard you aren't going to be able to walk for a week."

"Is this," Sebastian gasped, "really the best place to be having this conversation?"

"You think I'm going to let anything get you?"

"Will," Sebastian said, and William could hear the almost whine in his throat. "Will, please, I want out of this place."

The request was a bonerkiller, but then, William guessed he couldn't blame him. Stupidass hadn't even brought a basic stick when he'd come down here. For someone as booksmart and clever as Sebastian was, he sure had made a bone-headed decision when it came to basic survival instincts. William reluctantly pulled back, letting him down. Sebastian was quiet as William gathered the sword and then Sebastian's dropped flashlight. Then William took his hand and put it on his hip.

"Hang on to my belt," he told him. "I'll get you out of here."

The walk back up to the entrance was easier than the hike down had been. As they navigated the twists and turns of the mine, William stayed alert, but the monsters seemed to have told their buddies that this wasn't a good night to come out and hunt. They were unmolested all the way back up to the entrance.

As they got to the final floor, he heard Sebastian's breathing change from the quick, nervous pants he'd been giving to a deep sigh of relief. There was the entrance ahead.

When they walked out, Sebastian froze to see Rasmodius, waiting patiently.

"Only took you an hour," the wizard said, pleased.

William rolled his eyes. It almost hurt to have the people around him have such little faith.

"Yeah well, I need to get him home. Neither one of us are hurt. Could you go back and tell the guy at my place that I'm going to be late coming back?"

Rasmodius looked concerned and focused on Sebastian. “Are you alright?”

Sebastian gave a short nod, holding onto William's arm. His grip was tight and he looked wound up. The wizard tried again.

"I could bring you both with me and you could tell him yourself."

William weighed this option, then shook his head.

He wanted some time alone with Sebastian.

"I'll owe you one, buddy," he said.

Ras rolled his eyes. "Most people would be careful owing a wizard."

"Yeah, well," William drawled, his hand absently rubbing Sebastian's shoulders, "I'm not most people."

*

The walk home was short. They hadn't spoken on the way there. Sebastian kept waiting to hear something from Will. Anything. But his jaw was tight, as if he had too many things he wanted to say. Too many thoughts. Sebastian was too tired, too drained to delve into it. If Will was going to give him the silent treatment over having to pull him out, he'd take it. Better than a lecture. They came in and Sebastian slipped them past his mom's front desk. She was somewhere else and he wasn't in the mood to explain. He held his bedroom door open for Will then closed them into his room.

Will still wasn't speaking. Not a good sign, since usually he wouldn't shut up. Like when he was being defiant of Joja upper management.

"You okay?" William asked.

Sebastian nodded. "You?" he asked.

William nodded and stared at him. Sebastian hesitated for a moment then turned and pulled off his hoodie. William sat down on his bed.

Sebastian turned away and went into the bathroom. He was a mess. He turned on the shower in his bathroom and stripped off his shirt. He hesitated for a moment, turning back to look at Will. For a moment, it didn't look at though William was tracking, lost in his own thoughts. Sebastian stepped forward and held his hand out. Will looked up then took it, letting Sebastian lead him into the bathroom.

Sebastian stripped off Will's shirt and then Will unbuckled his belt. They took turns, pulling off clothing, then stepped naked into the shower together, hot water sluicing over them. Sebastian expected Will to push it. After all, it was such a natural place to do that. But...he didn't. Instead, he took Sebastian's soap and lathered a cloth, rubbing at the dirt on Sebastian's neck, running fingers through his hair. Sebastian didn't want to speak, didn't want to break this bubble.

The steam built up in the bathroom, but Sebastian could see William's face clearly. He reached up and with careful fingers, wiped away the crusted monster blood, shampooed Will's matted hair, then leaned up and pressed a kiss on Will's nose.

Will stared down at him and in that steamy, silent shower, looked as though he had something he wanted to say. But he didn't.

The moment seemed to melt after that and Will turned his face up to the shower spray, suds sluicing off his beard and neck. They finished and when Sebastian stepped out of the shower, he felt as though his limbs were jello. He wrapped a towel around his hip and handed one to Will. Just as he was about to exit the bathroom, Will laid a hand on his shoulder.

"When was the last time you slept, Sebastian?" he asked.

Sebastian shook his head. "Before we went to Zuzu yesterday," he admitted.

Another long sigh and then William was behind him, rubbing his shoulders.

"I should strangle you for scaring the shit out of me," he said. "But it doesn't do me much good if you're dead on your feet."

"I had a reason for going down there," Sebastian told him.

"I don't care if it was the best reason in the world," William growled into his ear. “You should have waited for me or someone to go with you. You could have been killed."

"It never seems to stop you," Sebastian snapped.

"Yeah? And where the fuck did that land me? If you're going to start following in MY dumbass footsteps, maybe you'd better get good with something sharp first."

Sebastian's shoulders sank. He couldn't believe he was getting a lecture on not being stupid from William.

Will pulled him against his chest and for a moment, Sebastian felt woozy. The feeling of Will's thick arms around his chest, his breath on his ear, his beard on his neck, it was too much comfortable bliss after hours of being terrified and even longer hours of being horrified by data.

"I have to tell you what I found on Roy's computer," Sebastian protested. "It's really important. Joja is—"

"Joja can wait until after you've gotten some rest," Will said in a tone that left no room for argument. Sebastian wanted to argue more but Will's hands were too convincing, his fingers digging into his shoulders, thumbs finding the tense muscles.

Will followed him back out and pulled his jeans back on. Sebastian found a pair of boxers and Will turned off the lights, rolling them into bed, tucking Sebastian's head against his chest. Sebastian finally fell asleep, Will's steady heartbeat lulling him into a black hole of exhaustion that he didn't wake from for hours.

*

William woke up and tensed.

He'd thought... for a moment... he'd woken up somewhere else.

What had disturbed him?

Sebastian was sitting up, back to his own wall, eyes off in the distance. William stretched and the move was enough to shift his attention to him.

"Hey," William said, his voice careful.

"Hey," Sebastian replied.

"You alright?" William asked, eyes scanning the room for a clock.

They'd slept about six hours. Almost a full REM cycle. Will was surprised. His back didn't hurt, though. Apparently Sebastian's bed was a better place to relax than the couch.

"I've been thinking," Sebastian said softly, "about some things."

"Things?" William said. The dark of Sebastian's room felt like a cave, the bed warm from their shared body heat.

"Things like... why you're with me."

William frowned, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean..." Sebastian rubbed his head. "William... I'm not like you. I'm not some military warrior dude. You... you were alone against Roy."

William sat up. He might normally roll his eyes, but he could sense a change in the energy between them tonight. He shifted until he sat beside Sebastian in his bed, his back against the same wall.

"I don't need that," William said, reaching over and taking Sebastian's hand.

Sebastian shook his head and continued, but he let William grip his hand. "I was useless in the mines."

"You don't have combat training," William said.

"But I was a liability."

William squeezed his hand. He sensed Sebastian wasn't done talking. He was right.

"You... you're insane," Sebastian said softly. “But now that you're in my life... I can't imagine it without you. And like... I don't know if the reverse is true."

William's gaze shot to him.

"What?"

"You... you could have anyone, you know that?"

William frowned. "No. No I can't."

Sebastian glared up at him. "Yes," he said, "you could. You're strong and confident and you just... you don't get scared. And if you do, it doesn't stop you. But when I get scared..." He hesitated and William could almost feel him remembering the stage, remembering how Sebastian had fled the concert, only days before.

William leaned over and pulled him close.

"You've got that big ole' brain," he said into Sebastian's hair, "and you haven't figured it out yet? You're different, Sebastian. You're different from all the others."

"...what?"

"Look," William said, pulling him into his lap and pressing his head against his, "maybe... I didn't this proper."

"Do what proper?"

"Try and date you," William said.

Sebastian shifted away but William turned his head.

"Maybe it would have been better if I'd taken things slow," he said, rubbing his hands over Sebastian's shoulders, "maybe we would have met. Talked a bit. Maybe you would have gone to dinner. Maybe we would have eased into it. But you know what? You're the first guy I've been with in over a year who thought about kissing me when we had sex. You wanted me. And you wanted to connect. That... that was unique, Sebastian."

Sebastian stared at him and then in a confused voice said, "Who wouldn't want to kiss you?"

William couldn't help it. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against Sebastian's.

They'd had sex.

Several times.

Rough sex.

Slow sex.

Hungry sex.

This, William thought, as he pressed Sebastian down, stroking and readying him, was making love.

It was slow and languid, the words knotting in William's throat between moans and cries.

He was conscious that they were at Seb's house, in Seb's bed, for the first time and already he had Sebastian naked in it.

He didn't care. All he knew was that if he stopped, he'd die.

They climbed the pleasure peak together, arms locked, breaths in time, sweat coating skin and faces.

And once it was done, once he was spent and Sebastian was spent, he pulled him close and whispered what he'd been trying to say.

"Sebastian?"

"Yeah?" His voice was groggy.

"I love you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Edit on Dec 11***  
> In my haze of updating on Saturday, I realized...to my horror...I'd posted an older version of this and not my final draft. So. If you are reading this after Dec 11, this is correct. If you are re-reading this from posting day, whoops sorry. The shower scene was a final addition. Thank you, everyone, and so sorry to have done that. XD  
> ~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> This chapter was a beast y'all. It fought me every day and was this figurative dog that did not want to come out and do it's thing. If it weren't for the support of the fantastic [GingerDelight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/profile) and [Turtletotem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleTotem/profile) this chapter probably wouldn't have happened this week. Thank you Ging for telling me my brain needs to STFU and thank you Turtle for telling me that I needed to remember the lessons of Frankenstein when dealing with my word children.
> 
> ~~Friends. I hope you enjoy this. I really really really do. We have 8 more weeks of this to go. I don't THINK that I'll miss an update around Christmas??? I plan on being done and on time but you know. Holidays make life difficult.~~   
>  **Please keep an eye on my tumblr for updates. Due to a family emergency, CB will be on hiatus until at least Jan 6. Thank you for bearing with me.**
> 
> For now! You can always get updates on my works from [my tumblr page](https://dracoangelicawritesfanfiction.tumblr.com/). I update on Saturdays between 8pm and 10pm CST.
> 
> Feedback is food friends. And I am a dragon so I need a lot of food. If you like what you read today? Please consider leaving a comment, a kudo or telling a friend. I know this is a long beast of a fic but I love you ALL for hanging in here with me. Thank you so much for the support and love. EIGHT MORE CHAPTERS!!!


	43. Just Protagonist Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> -Here there be bats  
> -Name Calling  
> -Snark  
> -Smoking  
> -NSFW Scene  
> -Nightmare mentions

“And so,” Sebastian said finally, “it looks like the altar search and monster manipulations have been going on for at least a year. This data coordinates with all of the problems the town has been having. The breakdown of the city bus, the mining carts that have shut down, the stones that block the bridge near the mine, the dried ravine in the corner of town, the blocked and closed mine quarry, and the breakdown of the community center.” He looked out at his audience—Will, Rasmodius and Cameron. They were sitting in Will’s living room back at the farm and he fiddled with handouts he’d printed.

“Joja did all this?” Cameron asked, mystified. In the corner of Will’s kitchen, Rasmodius was quiet, his fingers locked around his staff, running them over runes on the wood.

Sebastian swallowed his anxiety at speaking in front of the strangers and nodded. They’d gotten to Will’s the next morning and Will had done something that summoned the Wizard to this meeting. It had taken them a few minutes to get Cameron to believe them, until the Wizard had summoned a Junimo to prove his point. Cameron had stared wide-eyed at the dancing apple-shaped forest spirit before making a sign to Yoba on his chest and sinking wide-eyed into a chair. He’d been receptive to Sebastian’s talk after that.

Part of Sebastian was annoyed that Will had known a wizard for  _weeks_. He could have strangled him for keeping that information to himself. His eyes darted over to Will. His tattooed and muscular boyfriend was peeling an apple with his pocket knife, the red peel coming off in one long, curled strip. He looked calm, and Sebastian found himself captivated by the flash of the blade as it separated the skin from the fruit’s flesh. He’d not said a word while Sebastian had spoken, letting Rasmodius and Cameron ask all the questions. If William hadn’t been watching with such focus, Sebastian might have wondered if he was paying attention at all. As it was, every time Sebastian looked up, he was met with Will’s intense blue gaze. Which… was back on him.

Sebastian looked back down at the notes on his computer screen, shuffling papers. Those eyes seemed to be expecting something. And he shivered, remembering last night.

_I love you_.

“There is no doubt that we finally have an answer for the disruptions that have been going through the magical world now,” Rasmodius said with satisfaction. "Good work.”

The mundaneness of the meeting had been a shield. Something to focus on instead of the swirl of uncertainty inside himself. Sebastian closed his laptop. The debrief of all of Joja's shady activities had taken them all morning. He rarely spoke this much in front of Sam and Abby—much less a team of strangers. He felt as though his nerves were the fuzzy parts of a pipe cleaner, little threads of his calm wrapped around a wire.

His phone buzzed and he glanced down to see Sam’s name flash over the screen, texts starting to stack in the notifications. Speak of the devil and he will text.

“Do you mind if I…?” He held up his phone.

“Go on,” Will said.

First words he’d spoken since Sebastian had laid out the corruption and magical manipulations of the corporate super giant. Sebastian hesitated and Will bit a piece of apple off the edge of his knife. His heart raced a bit. Dangerous. Deadly. Devoted. He flushed then turned, escaping to the porch. He lit a cigarette then called Sam.

“Dude,” Sam said, his voice irritated. “Where the hell have you been the last few days?”

Sebastian sank onto the porch step and exhaled. “With Will,” he hedged.

Was he going to tell Sam and Abby about this mess? They were his friends but… he could just picture Abby’s excitement to go down and monster hunt out of the principle of the matter. He usually told Sam everything, though…

“Been shacked up for three whole days? Damn, Sebastian. Didn’t realize you were having marathon sex over there.”

“It’s complicated,” Sebastian said, ashing his cig before taking another drag.

“Well un-complicate it, asshole,” Sam said. “Me and Abby have been worried about you. First the concert, and then you’re Mr. Ghost for the last three days? It’s band practice day. When are you coming over?”

Sebastian looked back at the house then sighed. “Can’t today.”

“Seb,” Sam said, concern flooding his voice. “Dude, don’t let those guys keep you off the stage, okay?”

Sebastian blinked and then shook his head. Of course. Of course. He hadn’t seen Sam since the incident at Victory.

“No… it’s not that. It’s Will-related actually.”

“What? The Sasquatch can’t spare you to hang out with your friends? Bros before…” Sam puzzled it out for a minute. “Well… bros I guess, but you know what I mean here.”

“His ex-boyfriend is staying with him. Like I said. It’s complicated.”

“Whoa!” There was a screech on the other side of the phone and a thump. Sebastian frowned.

“Sam?”

A pause and then rustling. Then Sam said, “Did you say ex-boyfriend?”

“Did you just wipe off your skateboard?”

“Dude. Do not change this fucking subject. Did your pastey ass just say Will’s ex-boyfriend is staying over there?”

Sebastian took another pull on his cigarette. “Yeah,” he muttered, glancing around for the ashtray. Will had a bucket of dirt they’d been using. He ground out the butt and left it next to the other dead cigarettes. “Like I said. Complicated.”

“You know what?”

“What?”

“Been craving some of that fresh, country air.”

Anxiety spiked all over again and Sebastian sat up straight on Will’s porch. “Sam, no. Do not come over here.”

“Too late, loser,” Sam said, amused. “I gotta see what sort of tail the Sasquatch was chasing before he caught your ass.”

“Not funny,” Sebastian snarled, standing up and walking a bit away from the house. “Look, he’s on the run from his fiancé. Some big time suit named Roy. He works at Joja.”

There was a pause then, “Royland Hammond. That Roy?”

Sebastian froze. “What? How do you know that name?”

“His picture is on the break-room wall at JojaMart. He’s one of the big bosses of the whole company. I’ve even seen him a few times for our yearly inspections. Holy shit, Sasquatch stole Royland Hammond’s fiancé?”

“It’s a secret,” Sebastian said quickly. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“I’d be insulted if I didn’t know how your brain worked, Seb. Relax. I’m not about to go around town and tell them that Mr. Hammond’s fiancé thought he was a jackass. But damn dude, it’s been three days and suddenly you’re hiding a fugitive?”

Sebastian paced back towards the house. Three days. He’d freaked out on stage. Gone to meet Will’s family. Helped stage a rescue. Discovered that the mines near his house held horrible secrets.

It had felt like three months.

“I’ll come over,” he promised. “Catch you up. But you have to promise it stays in the vault.”

“Dude. I swear.”

“Then give me til later and I’ll get you updated.”

“Cool. Same.”

Sebastian hung up with him a few minutes later feeling both relieved and more anxious. He had Sam on his side. Even if he’d been hiding the real Sasquatch, he figured he’d have Sam on his side. He shoved his phone in his pocket and stepped back into the house… to a near war-zone.

“—and I said that if you go down there alone, you’re not just crazy but you deserve what you get!”

“Mr. Baker—” Rasmodius was saying.

“Don’t ‘Mr.’  _me_ , Sparkletoes,” Cameron spat. “You don’t fucking know Bauer the way I do. You send him down there without backup and you might as well kill him.”

“Cut the drama, Cam,” Will interjected, sounding irritated.

Sebastian, frozen in the doorway, looked between the three people. Will looked at him and nodded. He was standing between Rasmodius and a spitting mad Cameron, hands extended between the two.

“Um… I miss something?” Sebastian asked, feeling as though the room had caught fire while he was out.

“Yes,” Cameron said, glaring a hole in Rasmodius. “This delusional, power-tripping psych patient wants William to go take on all the beasties in the mine by his onesie because of some chosen-one bullshit that he ripped out of a FANTASY NOVEL.”

Sebastian blinked and glanced over at the Wizard Rasmodius who didn’t seem at all perturbed by the insults Cameron was flinging.

“A vast over-simplification,” was all he said at Sebastian’s raised brow.

“Would you sit the fuck down, Cam? Or do I need to get something cold to dump over your head?”

Cameron pointed at him threateningly. “Do not even think about going along with this, William. Don’t you even  _think_  it.”

Sebastian sat down slowly in the chair and let out a breath. “Could you three fill me in on exactly why Cameron is having a conniption fit?” he asked weakly.

“ _Cameron_ ,” Cameron snarled, “is having a  _conniption_  fit because that purple-haired freak just said some woo-woo mumbo jumbo about William going into those mines to find a ‘source’ of power to ‘aid the prophesy.’ Then went on a tangent about an altar and some possessed apple monkeys—”

“Junimos,” William and Rasmodius said at the same time.

“ _Apple monkeys_ ,” Cameron said over them, “who would bring rewards and blessings if the Joja corruption was removed.”

Sebastian frowned, rubbing his head.

“What I  _said_ ,” Rasmodius said, “was that Farmer William Bauer is the only one who will be able to find the source that Joja is seeking because he’s been blessed by the Junimos. He understands the runes. He’s traversed the mines before and is reliable in the face of challenge. He is our best chance at not seeing our town fall to the short-sighted plans of this corporation’s scheme.”

Sebastian blinked, taking it in, then realize with unease that in a way they were both right. Cameron had true reason to worry. Will had a tendency to push himself too hard. He didn’t have the world’s greatest sense of self-preservation… and had already collapsed once in those mines. But… Ras was also right. Sebastian had been front row center to Will’s battle competence. He’d never forget it, the way that William stood up against the  _things_  down there. And it was uncanny, the way events just began occurring around sleepy and quiet Pelican Town since he’d moved in. If anyone had a prayer of surviving the mines, it was Will.

“Cameron,” Sebastian said, choosing his words carefully, fingers rolling his lighter around in his hoodie pocket. “It's not cut and dry. The mines are dangerous, yes, but… Rasmodius has a point.”

Will relaxed, as if he’d been holding his breath. Sebastian looked up at him.

“Will,” he said. “We’ve been talking about this, but you haven’t said a word. What do you want to do?”

Cameron flushed, his dark skin becoming darker. Rasmodius didn’t looked bothered that the man he wanted to do his dirty work hadn’t said a word, but turned his eyes to him as well, expecting consent. William dropped his arms now that it was apparent he wasn’t going to have to stop either man from physically throwing down.

“Well,” he said, wiping his knife and tossing his apple core. “It's got to be done. Someone’s got to go down there and see if this can’t be puzzled out. Might as well be me.”

“That—” Cameron said.

“Is his choice,” Sebastian said, talking over Cameron as he crossed his arms. His stomach rolled. He didn’t want William in those mines. He didn’t want to agree with  _Cameron_  of all people over it either. But. To hold William back from something he was willing to do and something he was capable of doing would be wrong.

“It’s settled then,” Rasmodius said, smug and relieved.

Another flash of irritation ran through Sebastian. This guy was just as bad.

“And you,” he said to Rasmodius. “How are you going to help him?”

“I am a watcher,” the wizard said, cool.

“You’re also a wizard,” Sebastian pressed. “That means you have magic that you could use to aid him.”

“My boy,” Rasmodius said, lifting his nose. “I  _have_  been aiding him. He speaks with the forest spirits and they understand him. I have given him knowledge.”

Sebastian nodded, eyes locked on him. “And if you hadn’t given him the ability for the Junimos to understand him, he wouldn’t be the best person suited for this. So, you have a responsibility.”

“They found him. I simply made it easier on him,” Rasmodius said defensively.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “Easier by giving him  _knowledge._  And with knowledge comes power. And with power comes responsibility. Which means, yes, you have an obligation to help him.”

Rasmodius narrowed his eyes and Sebastian stared back. Maybe Will would accept that Rasmodius had reached the limits of his abilities, but Sebastian felt like the old man was holding back on them. Maybe out of fear. Maybe out of habit. Maybe out of pure laziness for not wanting to put in the extra work. But Sebastian had played in fictional spaces, and spent too many intoxicated and marijuana-laced hours debating the possible rules and ethics of magic with his friends to let the wizard short-change Will. He kept his staring contest up and Ras was the first to look away.

“There… might be some information that would aid this quest,” Rasmodius grumbled.

Will’s brows climbed. Because of course they did. Because magic was a science at its core whereas the only science his boyfriend seemed to respect was physical force.

“Good. I’ll help you look if you need it.”

Rasmodius nodded. “In that case, I will see you in the tower tomorrow. Together we can monitor William’s progress and aid him with our research.”

“And what am I supposed to do?” Cameron spat. “Stand by and watch you all let William go get himself killed?”

Will finally moved, shifting his weight, snapping his knife closed, and slipping it into his pocket. “Rasmodius? Could you give us a minute?” Will said, tone even. Sebastian swallowed, then stood up, preparing to leave with the wizard. “No,” Will interrupted. “Not you, babe. You stay. Anything I have to say to Cam is something I can say to you.”

Rasmodius brushed invisible dust off of his coat and turned. “In that case, I take my leave. I will be in contact, Farmer William.”

Sebastian swallowed but sat back down. They all watched the wizard walk out, and then heard that strange zipping sound after he’d closed the door.

“So we’re dragging out the dirty laundry?” Cameron said, leaning against the wall.

William rolled his eyes. “We didn’t bring you here to harp on my life choices, Cam.”

So it was ‘we’ now? Interesting, Sebastian thought as he sat quietly.

“Someone needs to harp on your life choices,” Cameron sniffed. “It sure as fuck doesn’t seem like you spend that much time considering them.”

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. William, showing a surprising amount of patience, ignored the jab. Instead he crossed over and leaned his hip against the chair that Sebastian sat in, standing next to him in a blatant united front.

“We brought you here to keep you out of Roy’s sphere of influence. He can’t find you as long as you remain on my property. Which means, that’s the plan.”

“I have gone on emergency leave from the hospital, Will. I’m already getting angry emails from the admin. I have patients that need rounding and the ER is short-staffed on the best of days. I can’t stay here forever.”

“But you also can’t go back,” Sebastian said slowly. “Not without being followed by Roy. He was tracking you, Cameron.” Cameron stared at him, eyes wide in shock. Sebastian grimaced. “And he was recording you. At home. He had… a lot of recordings. They’ll be gone now and I know he’ll start to get angry when he realizes that.”

William had gone still beside him, his face flickering with a barely suppressed flood of emotion. Sebastian felt the hairs rise on his neck as he watched him.

“He did what?” Cameron asked, horrified.

Sebastian swallowed and then started when he felt Will’s hand on his back, supporting him. He pressed forward.

“He had… recordings. But I made sure to destroy them. I can’t help it if he had anything in hard copy, but based on the access logs, I don’t think so. He probably thought since he had them backed up to a server, they were safe."

Cameron stepped forward and sank into the couch. Will squeezed his shoulder and Sebastian could feel the barely contained rage in the touch. His voice was shockingly gentle despite his face.

“We’re not bullshitting you, Cam. It’s more dangerous out there than it is here. As for the mines? I’ve been down there a few times and all I need to do is uncover where Joja has set up shop.”

“Its damned humiliating,” Cameron said, crossing his arms. “This entire business.”

And he hadn’t even seen his own sex tapes, Sebastian thought cynically.

“Well, better to be embarrassed than to be dead,” Will said.

The words struck something in Cameron’s face and he gave Will a sharp look, something passing between them.

Jealousy, usually under control, flared. Sebastian swallowed it down, looking away. They had a history. It was natural that some of the things they said would ping on each other. Didn’t stop him from disliking it.

“Another thing,” Will said. “I’m going to be staying at Sebastian’s while you’re here.”

Well, goodbye Jealousy. Hello Anxiety, old friend.

“You are?” Sebastian blurted.

“Are you?” Cameron said, unamused.

Will nodded. “Yup. So. Don’t wreck my house while you’re using it.”

Cameron sighed and leaned back in the chair. “Can I at least do something with the ambiance here? The decor is trailer park chic.”

“Touch my stuff and I amputate your hands, you freak,” Will said, standing. “So yeah. Food’s in the fridge. Make sure you don’t chew on my shoes, bitch, and we’ll be fine.”

“William? Foxtrot Uniform.”

Will chuckled then got up, turning his head towards Sebastian.

Sebastian did follow, feeling a bit thunderstruck. Once they were outside he said, “Um, no offense but don’t you think we should ask my parents before I move you into my room for a few weeks?”

Will shrugged. “Think they’ll care?”

He didn’t, but you know, principle of the matter.

“Still a bit high-handed, Will.”

“My hand is offended. It’s stone cold sober, Sebastian.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes, then grinned when Will threw his arm over his shoulder.

“Besides,” Will said. “You’re going to help me make a map.”

*

Something in the corner of the stone wall was dripping, the sound a ‘plip plop’ echoing around the cavernous space. It set Will’s teeth on edge. It shouldn’t have. These sounds should have been familiar. William was on day seventeen in his hunt to locate the ‘secret’ research facility.

Seventeen days of waking up early, showering, going over the maps that Sebastian had marked from the night before and eating something nutritionally dense and tasteless on his way back into the dark and dangerous depths. He and Sebastian hadn’t managed to carve out more than a few minutes of time alone beyond sleeping side by side every night. Part of it was Sebastian’s mother—always popping down to see if they needed something. Part of it was the fact that Sebastian seemed to have an internal alarm clock that woke him up into full alertness at 10 p.m. and refused to let him sleep before dawn.

William didn’t feel like he was living with a boyfriend. Instead, he and Sebastian were ships passing in port. That was two and a half weeks of living with the man he loved, and instead of any sort of ‘honeymoon’, they’d been more like intimate roommates. Roommates with very different and opposing schedules.

A screech sounded behind him, wings beating a warning  of a red-eyed bat behind the echoed sound. William crouched and then whirled, slamming his blade against the creature. His sword was sharp and it was a matter of seconds for the thing to writhe and die at the tip of his steel. He was starting to get really tired of these murderous little beasts. He knelt, cut the wings off, and then tossed the carcass to the side before looking around the otherwise empty cavern.

He was at least 115 levels into the mine. He was getting close to the bottom of this godforsaken cavern, but the proof they needed was as nebulous as proving the Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy existed. He wiped his sword down and kept walking. The deepest parts of the mines were deadly in comparison to the levels at the top. It was as if when the old Pelican Town miners had abandoned it, they’d unlocked a door to a hell-mouth and then forgotten all about it.

It was enough to make a man question sanity that he’d never been entirely sure of in the first place.

He checked his watch after what felt like an hour.

Ten minutes. It had only been ten minutes since his last time check. And before that, it had been five minutes. He sighed and paused, looking at the long and bleak hallways of rock and shadows. This was getting nowhere. Tomorrow would be day eighteen of his hunt. Two and a half weeks of delving into the deep, and for what? Stone. Rock. Monsters. And absolutely not one step closer to proving all the evidence that they’d found… not one bit closer to locating this altar and rescuing the nature spirits from Joja’s corruption.

He sheathed his pickaxe, furious. He knew the fuckers were here. They had to be  _here_ , in these tunnels, somewhere. He’d seen signs. Footprints that led to brick walls. He’d found trash from Joja cans that indicated someone was littering. He’d even seen tire treads two days before that he’d followed right into the lake—all other sign of them disappearing into murky depths. Every single new indication that he was not alone down here led to dead ends when he tried to follow them. But, there was proof of other people around nonetheless.

A hint of movement alerted him. He turned suddenly and swung his pickaxe down, skewering another rock-crab, one that had come close enough to his boots to scrape the leather. The little red creature squealed and skittered. Another slam and it was squashed against the stone and Will’s sharp point. He stared at it, his back letting out a helpful ache to remind him what a bad idea it was to twist one’s torso when you were living with four different screws around your vertebrae.

William kicked the meat off his tool. He was done. There were still at least four more hours of daylight but his patience had snapped. He got into the old shaft elevator, turned the crank and waited, riding it up to the top. His body gave a helpful twinge of pain.

He ignored it.

He was good at ignoring, he thought as the numbers on the dial clicked.

He was good at ignoring that Sebastian’s parents were wary of him. They’d welcomed him the first night, understanding that he needed to borrow some space. It had been a good family dinner. Sebastian had been as shaky as a colt on its first walk, but it had gone well.

Then, when he and Sebastian had retreated downstairs, the usual developments occurred—nakedness, skin to skin, sex, then sleep… he’d thought all was well.

Until he’d woken up to the sound of typing at 1a.m.

He closed his eyes, remembering.

Remembering that Sebastian had kept all the lights off, but was awash in the glow of his computer screen.

“Babe,” he’d yawned. “Come back to bed.” He’d have to get up in a few hours and any of that tippity-typing he was doing could wait until daylight.

“Almost done,” Sebastian said, his voice absent. William closed his eyes, waiting. Listening. Then opened his eyes, watching.

Sebastian flooded with screen light was a focused man. All the nerves of the day seemed to disappear when he was like this. All his twitches and sharp eye shifts and stiffness seemed to flow away. He sat with serenity at the keyboard, shadows sharp from the lights. William let his eyes roam down his shoulders—black hoodie pulled on. When he had been in bed, he’d been naked, skin pressed up against Will’s.

But something had made him get up out of their warm bed just so he could… Will squinted… but couldn’t tell what the heck was happening on that screen.

The background was black, the text a neon green. He had the screen split in half, different white lines running down one side, then the other half was blocked out again—three screens, all reacting to different things he did while typing a continuous and steady line of code.

William had fallen back to sleep to the sounds of Sebastian’s coding. He’d not come back to bed. And ever since that first night together, it had become a pattern.

William opened his eyes, back in the shaft. The dial was ticking him back up to the surface.

_I love you._

But he hadn’t said it back.

William hit the button when the dial got him to the 20th floor. The elevator creaked, shook and then came to a stop. He let out a breath, pushing the thoughts of his love life from his mind. It wasn’t anything that would help him solve this problem. If nothing else, he’d pick a damn fight with his moody fuckbuddy and see what he was able to parse out.

He stepped out and scowled at the lake.

The lake that had practically eaten some sort of set of tires last week. That was puzzling. Unless something could go underwater, he couldn’t see how he was going to follow it. And fuck anyone who thought he was going to trust the weird monster water. If William couldn’t see the bottom, the fuck if he was going to take a dip.

He paced the edge of the lake and then scowled into the unknown darkness on the other side. He looked around and then pulled a chemical glow light out of his bag. He cracked it, then pulled his arm back, ignored the throb of pain from his lower back, grit his teeth and flung the neon green light as far as he could…

The little tube of light shot across the lake, the glowing stick creating illumination. Then it bounced, the green glow hitting something hard. Will stared, eyebrows climbing. It bounced off the water, then settled, only inches under the surface, held up by...something.

William swallowed, pulling out another chemical light. He lined himself up and narrowed his view down into the dark and murky water. He held his arm out and dropped the chemical tube.

It bounced off a bridge that was 6 inches under the surface – perfectly lined up with the tire tracks.

He felt his face split into a savage grin.

_Found you, dirtbags._  

*

The wizard’s laboratory was a dim cave of bubbling potions, strange incense, and glowing runes. Rasmodius sat in front of a dusty old text, slowly running his fingers down the faded words. Sebastian, on the other hand, stuck out like an anachronism with his laptop plugged into the second battery bank he’d brought to the old man’s house.

Just like Will’s place had needed a remodel, Ras had no electricity. Everything was lit by candle light or torches or lanterns or… strange glowing orbs in the corners of the room. It made for a wonderful atmosphere. It sucked if you were trying to run any analytics at all.

“This is wasting time,” Cameron sighed from the side of the room, closing the book he’d been going through with a ‘thump.’ Sebastian glanced up in time to see the slender young man drop the book on a stack and rub his face with a groan. The last three weeks of the hunt for the Altar of Power that Rasmodius insisted was down in the mines had taken a lot out of all of them.

Will most of all.

Resolutely, Sebastian looked back at his spreadsheet and frowned at the lists that he’d made. Nearly four weeks of the search of the mines, and only a few places where William had marked tracks of Joja machines gave them any sign that they were on the right track. None of the data was good.

“How is it possible for them to warp the space this way? This has to go against the laws of physics somehow,” he said to Rasmodius, ignoring Cameron’s whining.

The grumpy wizard had become almost a friend over the last few weeks. Sebastian found himself spending more time down here than he did at home. He’d wake to William already gone into his first foray, gather the work he’d done the night before, go to the Wizard’s then get home in time to care for Will post-search.

Will was focused and quiet after these trips, his body sore and his senses too alert. He’d jump at the smallest things for the first hour that he was back. Except… Sebastian wasn’t sure other people noticed him doing it. The first time, he’d tensed at his mom banging dishes in the kitchen while she cooked. When they’d gone back to his room, starting to snuggle in for the night, he’d flinch at footsteps above them, eyes darting, body tight. It ramped up Sebastian’s own anxiety just watching him twitch.

Yet, as soon as they’d make love – those precious moments where they seemed on the same page, and Sebastian would get to sleep – a few hours later, Will’s nightmares would wake him.

Sebastian wasn’t even sure Will knew he had the nightmares.

In movies, a person would dramatically sit up after a bad dream, face sweaty, eyes wild, and look around as if they were in a new world… before explaining it away as ‘just a bad dream.’

Will’s night terrors were nothing like the movies.

He’d moan. Not loudly, but enough that the first time Sebastian had sat up, frightened, concerned. He’d pulled himself up against the wall that his bed was pressed against, staring at Will, not sure if he should try and wake him, not sure if he should let him be. The moan was guttural, deep and low. More like a frightened animal than an adult man. Then, after he’d let out those horrible, low and keening moans, Sebastian realized he was crying. Not a sob that would break way and let the body expel tears, but whispered gasps that left his cheeks wet, his face leaking moisture. It could have been mistaken for sweat if the river of tears weren’t so obviously coming from his eyes. The storm of night emotion lasted for only a few minutes, Will’s eyes moving under his lids, his mouth opening and closing with no sound. And then, just as it had begun, he’d wake calm and oblivious to what he’d done while he was asleep. It was both heartbreaking and terrifying.

The first time it had happened, Sebastian had stayed frozen, back to the wall, knees drawn up, staring at Will, his mind awhirl. Did Will know he had the nightmares? Did he realize it? And why wouldn’t he have them? Why wouldn’t he have deep seated scars from what he’d been through?

Yet… that first night… he hadn’t been able to bring it up at all. Just sit stewing in his own head with Will dragging out his own fears. That he wasn’t going to be enough.

_I love you._

How could he say it like that so baldly? And why couldn’t Sebastian make himself repeat the words back? He was sure he felt the same way. Will made his heart flutter. He missed him all the time when they weren’t together. Whenever Will got home at night after his hunt, they’d embrace and it felt amazing. Like they were connected and on the same level. Will’s jokes were gentle and teasing, his manner easy with Robin, Demetrius and Maru. In some ways, since he’d moved in, Sebastian wondered if his parents didn’t like his outgoing and socially-suave boyfriend  _better_  than him.

But the night terrors.

He didn’t know how to talk to him about them. And he didn’t know how to help him with his struggles in being the only person able to physically search for the altar. Sebastian knew he was falling short but he didn’t know how to be  _enough_.

“I’m taking a break,” he announced, numbers swimming.

“Me too,” Cameron said, rolling out of the chair he was lounging in and stretching, running his hands over his head.

Sebastian hesitated. He had avoided being alone with Cameron. One, because he still suspected Cameron of being interested in William, and jealousy rarely made for a good conversation companion. Two, because all Cameron had done in his every free moment was complain—loudly—to Rasmodius about what was ‘possible’ and what was ‘impossible’. Sebastian could understand the focus on science, but he also thought that magic altars and forest spirits clearly redefined boundaries of possibility and ergo it was a waste of energy.

Still. It wasn’t like Cameron was allowed anywhere that was more interesting than Will’s cabin and the wizard’s tower.

They stepped outside of the tower and down the lane towards the woods. Sebastian pulled out his cigarettes and lighter.

“Those things will kill you,” Cameron said, frowning.

Sebastian raised a brow and lit his smoke. He exhaled the cloud of smoke a few moments later.

“Noted, mother,” he said dryly.

Cameron rolled his eyes.

“Figures,” he said annoyed. “You must be the reason Bauer started smoking again.”

“Will is the reason Will started smoking again,” Sebastian countered, irritated. Yeah, okay, this was supposed to be a brain-clearing walk and break, not an invitation for more of Cameron’s moralizing bullshit.

Cameron rolled his eyes. “Oh please. If you jumped off a bridge, Will would jump too. He’s like that.” He crossed his arms. “He picks up the habits of whoever he’s dating. He’s always been like that.”

Sebastian narrowed his eyes, inhaled, then exhaled. “Okay, so what habits did he pick up from you?”

Cameron sniffed arrogantly. “I mean,  _bad_ habits.”

Sebastian stared at him with dislike, then looked back out at the forest and sighed out another cloud of smoke.

“Yeah well, maybe he picked up stitching. He did that the first time he got hurt in the mines. Went and sewed himself up like some rag doll.”

“Oh,” Cameron said, waving a hand and squatting down to sit on a tree stump. “I taught him that.”

Sebastian raised a brow. “You taught him how to stick a needle in himself?”

“Oh come on,” Cameron said lightly, looking up at the trees that surrounded the wizard’s tower. “He was going to do it anyway. He’s an idiot. If he’s going to go about the business of closing a wound, someone had to show him how to do it safely.”

Sebastian smoked, thought, weighed his choices and finally said, “Do you have like... a confidentiality clause or something?”

Cameron stilled and turned his head.

“Oh?”

“Like,” Sebastian said, suddenly uncomfortable, “if someone wanted to tell you something and not have you tell other people, would you keep it quiet?”

Cameron regarded him thoughtfully. Sebastian felt a cold sweat run down his neck. This was probably wrong. Will didn’t talk to Cam about the two of them, he was sure. But... it felt wrong to tell Sam. As amazing a friend as he was, and had been over the past several days of secrets... Sam wasn’t a part of this. He had been impatient of course but somehow Sebastian had managed to hold him off. For now. And talking to Cameron... well, he already knew some of Will’s past and trauma... it wouldn’t be betraying a trust. It would be discussing it with an expert.

“If you want to ask me something about William,” Cameron said carefully, “there are some things I  _won’t_  discuss. But I have a feeling you aren’t going to ask those questions. So... go ahead. What do you want to know?”

Sebastian looked down. Swallowed.

It had been weeks.

And he couldn’t do this without a plan.

When in doubt... outsource.

“I think,” Sebastian said softly, staring at the cherry on the end of his cigarette. “I think Will is having nightmares. And... the mines are making it worse.”

Cameron grimaced and stood. He paced for a moment, eyes on the horizon. “Ah.”

Sebastian waited to see if he’d elaborate. He didn’t. He swallowed, took another hit off of the dying smoke, then ground it against his shoe, sticking the butt in his pocket.

“He... doesn’t scream or anything,” Sebastian said finally into Cameron’s silence.

“Just moans and cries?” Cameron asked, face neutral.  
  
Sebastian’s stomach twisted. He gave a jerky nod.

Cameron nodded and crossed his arms.

“It’s not easy to say, but... that’s just part of his PTSD. Sometimes he does. Sometimes he doesn’t. You can wake him up, but usually he sleeps through them and doesn’t remember in the morning. If you wake him up... sometimes he remembers. I always thought it was kinder to let him forget it come morning.”

Sebastian's stomach lurched.

Just leave him that way?

“Can’t he... take something for it?” he whispered softly. “A...anti depressant or...”

“He used to take something for it,” Cameron said gently.

“Then why’d he stop?” Sebastian asked, baffled.

Cameron met his eyes.

“Because, Sebastian. He took heroin.”  

* 

William left the mines soaked to the knees in lake water and deeply satisfied with the results of his search.

There was a fucking door and all he had to do was get Sebastian or the wizard to help him figure out the number pad combination to get inside.

He stepped out of the mines at twilight, the sun gone but having left enough light in the sky to cast the world in blues and purples. He skirted the lake and relaxed when he saw Sebastian standing by a tree near the water’s edge, eyes across the lake on the far shore, smoking his evening cigarette.

Sebastian stood, face turned to the side, in shadows and purple-hued light. For a moment William could remember exactly how he’d looked months ago in the Mirage, bathed in the strobes and neons of the club, his face turned up and anxious. Now, he looked calm and focused, eyes off in the distance, brain chewing away at a problem. William's chest hurt to see him. Relief, mingled with attraction, blended with fascination for how he managed to get his hair to always lay just so. William focused on the way his hoodie draped over his slender shoulders and  how his long fingers pinched the filter of his cigarettes.

Damn. Now he wanted a smoke too.

He approached and Sebastian looked at him. Just as quickly as he’d relaxed after seeing him, that ease washing over his tense body, it faded, leaving a tightening in his gut.

Because Sebastian didn’t relax when he saw him. He looked away, nervous. Jittery. Then back at him, his eyes scanning over like a laser, focusing on his knees. When William was in speaking distance, the squelch of his wet shoes audible over the laps and waves of the lake, Sebastian said, “How did you get soaked?”

An excellent question.

William snagged Sebastian’s hand and leaned forward, sucking a drag from the filter of his cig, eyes dancing at him. Sebastian blushed and bit his lip. William leaned back, his fingers still linked around the wrist. He turned his head to blow the smoke. Under his fingertips he could feel Sebastian's pulse increase.

“Tell me that I’m the best,” William said languidly, his fingers running up the arm.

“Um,” Sebastian stammered, eyes wide. “Why?”

“Because,” William said, shoulders back. “I just figured out where the door to Joja’s little pet project is.”

Sebastian’s jaw dropped, then he grinned. William grinned back and shivered, the feeling of Sebastian’s joy blending with his own.

“Oh my God, are you alright? Did they see you?”

William waved a hand,  _tch_ ing. “Have some faith. Who’s the best?”

“You are the best,” Sebastian confirmed, handing him the cigarette and pulling out his phone. “We should call Cameron and Rasmodius to—”

William rolled his eyes. He’d just managed to get a breakthrough in this. The last thing he was interested in was making this a crowd. He leaned forward, snagging Sebastian’s cell-phone hand and pushing it above his head. He pressed Sebastian against the tree, crowding him with his body. He leaned down and buried his nose into his neck, the folds of his hoodie giving that spicy tobacco and laundry scent that blended into the essence of his Bastian. “Or... we could celebrate and  _then_ go deal with those two kill joys.”

Sebastian frowned, and William read a lot of things in that frown. Disappointment. Exasperation. Resignation. William sighed, letting go of his hand and stepping back.

“Or,” he said, “if you want, go ahead and call. I’m going to get into something dry.” He turned back towards Sebastian’s house, annoyed.

It wasn’t like he didn’t want to tell them. But it was already nearly supper and he was tired. Each step squished wet socks against his skin, each shift of his toes a slosh of moist and uncomfortable cloth and residual water. Robin greeted him when he came in, but he was able to beg off due to the wet clothes and disappeared down into the basement that had become his sanctuary since Cameron had chased him out of his home over the last few weeks. He stripped, and frowned at the clothes on the floor. It was Sebastian’s place, he reminded himself, putting his things to one side. But man did it bug him that he never seemed to pick up after himself.  He turned on the hot water and was hanging his wet clothes up to the side when Sebastian opened the door to the bathroom, his face determined.

“Well,” William asked. “Are they excited?”

“Don’t know,” Sebastian said, peeling off his hoodie and t-shirt with a single movement. “Didn’t call them.”

William felt hope and excitement surge in his chest and then, just like that they were kissing. Skin to skin, fingers laced.

They stripped in a frenzy then, lips and fingers and hands touching. Sebastian was lithe and wiry in Will’s arms, his skin smoother than Will’s tattooed and furry body. William reveled in the contrast. He hunted the spots that made Sebastian gasp, pressed him against the hot wall of the shower, fingers intertwining in his hair. He didn’t try to move things beyond touching at first—water was a terrible lubricant— but after rinsing off the worst of the mines, he got a handful of lotion from a bottle on the edge of the shower and pressed them both on their knees, the hot water rolling over their skin.

The hot water of the shower, the swirl of steam, and Sebastian’s excited breathing was an erotic haze of connection and focus. William could follow each trail of water as it beaded and rolled on his lover’s skin. He ran his hands down Sebastian’s flat stomach, his soft thighs and rock-hard cock, each stroke another fan to the fire in his chest. He wanted this forever, he realized as Sebastian’s back pressed against his wet chest. He clutched Sebastian to him, clinging against him, wanting this feeling of unity for the rest of his life, for the rest of the moments where he could breathe. He bit down on Sebastian’s shoulder as he stroked him, knee to knee, on the floor of the shower, hot water sluicing over them.

Sebastian writhed and struggled against William’s iron hold, but he was begging him, begging him to keep going, to please… to please….

William wanted to please him. Wanted to make him  _feel_  the love he had. Wanted him to realize that in this moment they had connection… just here, right now with Sebastian…

His cum shot out, quickly washed away. William released him, panting, stroking his chest, crooning encouragement. Sebastian turned in his arms, hugged him around his neck and William lifted him, ran that lotion around his own cock, and with a few strokes, came on Sebastian’s chest, his mouth locked on his, his tongue invading that mouth that gave him sweet cries and moans.

For several seconds they stood on shaky legs in the shower and William knew…  _knew…_ he had to feel the same.

“I love you,” he whispered. The second time aloud but he’d thought it over and over again in his chest. Sebastian swayed, panting, unable to speak. William ignored his hurt. It wasn’t fair to expect a guy to speak after they’d just busted a nut. It wasn’t his fault.

They got out of the shower. Dried off. Dressed. William held him against his chest on his bed, Sebastian pliant and quiet as he came down from the high they’d experienced. Hope and satisfaction bloomed in William’s chest. Things were looking up. He’d found the door. He had Sebastian. They loved each other, even if Sebastian wasn’t ready to say it back. Everything was fine. Everything was good.

He ignored the disquiet in the back of his mind. It had no place here.

It was an hour later when they emerged and ate dinner with Sebastian’s family. It was relaxing. Dinner with Sebastian’s folks was always light and friendly. And now that Demetrius didn’t think he was some sort of monster-molestor type they got along pretty well. William had discovered that he was into sports. Sebastian retreated downstairs while William washed dishes with Robin, then talked a few more minutes with Demetrius about a new type of wheat strain that was coming out of the northern side of Ferngill.

When he came downstairs, though, Sebastian was already on his computer, lines of code across the screen.

“Hey,” William said, sitting down. The exhaustion of the day was catching up with him. The short boost he’d gotten from dealing with Sebastian’s family – that feeling of being a part of something that mattered beyond himself – was short-lived. Now he was tired.  Sebastian turned in his chair and stretched.

“They finally wear you out?” he asked.

William stretched and laid down on the bed.

“Yup. Come to bed?”

Sebastian hesitated and William felt uneasy, but he resolutely turned off his monitors, shut off the lights and crawled into the sheets. They curled and William felt his body start to relax. This was home, he realized foggily, as he began to drift. Working hard, making love, eating a meal with people who cared about you, and falling asleep with your heartmate. That’s the way the world should be. He tucked Sebastian close, eyes closed and mind drifting.

Yet… he wasn’t sure how much longer it was after… he opened his eyes, disturbed by some sound… by coolness in the sheets. He blinked. Cool? Where was Sebastian? He opened his eyes and realized, with an ache that Sebastian was up. And on his computer.

The screen glowed in the dark room and William stared from the pillow, feeling hollow in his gut. He hated this. Waking up alone. Waking up empty. Too many nights of taking someone with potential to bed only to wake up to the guy getting dressed. Exchanging a farewell. Rolling back over and being alone.

In the past they never stayed. Yet, he was living with Sebastian, so that was ridiculous. These feelings were ridiculous.

Yet as he watched Sebastian type away, oblivious to the world around him, William couldn’t help but feel like he was staring at him from the other side of a wall. And that no matter what they did, he wouldn’t be enough to make him stay.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 2018, bitches!
> 
> Big thanks to [GingerDelight](http://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/profile) and [Turtletotem](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleTotem/profile), because without you two in my corner putting ice on my head and re-taping my hands, this chapter would be still kicking my ass.
> 
> _Big_ thank you to everyone who reached out during my hiatus. Your thoughts and encouragement were very much appreciated.  <3 
> 
> We are back on schedule with Chapter 44 scheduled to post on Saturday, January 13, 2018 between 8-10pm CST. As always, I take payment in the form of comments, kudos, and bookmarks. You have all been SO GOOD TO ME for the previous chapters and I hope that I continue to make your days better with this story. 
> 
> If you have questions about my upcoming projects you can hit me up over on my [Tumblr](https://dracoangelicawritesfanfiction.tumblr.com/) and leave an ask! I'm very social and love to talk. 
> 
> Y'all are the greatest. <3 <3 <3


	44. NutPunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Seb and Will have a nice chat in the mines.
> 
> All trigger warnings in the End Notes.

Sebastian groaned in protest when he felt his blankets tugged down to let in hateful, awful sunlight.

“C’mon, sleepyhead,” Will said, his fingers firm. “You said you’d help me look at the Joja door today.”

Door? The only door he wanted to look at was the one that shut the sunlight out of his face.

“Noooo,” Sebastian groaned, rolling over and jerking his pillow over his head.

“Babe. Wake up. It’s 10 am. I let you sleep in.”

Sleep in??? 10 am might as well be 5 am. When did he go to sleep? 3? 4?

“Ten more minutes,” he groaned, curling into the pillow that was kind, quiet and so soft…

Will shoved him. Hard.

“Fuck, ow!” Sebastian snapped.

“C’mon, lazybones. I used to be a Drill Sergeant. I have bounced recruits out of bed like they were rubber balls. These are kid gloves.”

Sebastian rolled onto his back, rubbing his face. His eyes felt like they’d been rolled in sand. His head felt like soup. He had numbers and symbols blending together in his brain. Then a new aroma broke through the haze of being half-asleep. Coffee. He opened one eye and saw that Will had Sebastian’s favorite cup – a black ceramic mug with a graphic of the caffeine molecule in white text – in his hand and was drinking from it, a mocking look in his eyes.

“Not. Fair,” Sebastian muttered, starting to sit up. Will smirked and for a moment, Sebastian forgot how to breathe. It wasn’t usually like this in the mornings, he thought, turning away, rubbing his eyes, scrubbing out the sleep. When he woke up in the afternoon, the bed was empty, nothing to show Will had been there beyond the sandalwood and cedar scent that clung to the pillow. In fact… it was the strangest thing about living with Will. They slept together, but when was the last time they’d hung out… just hung out? Every day lately had felt like a constant race to figure out the mystery of Joja’s new development and how they could free the altar.

Sebastian reached for the coffee and Will pulled it away, leaning forward.

“Gotta pay the toll, Bastian,” he whispered.

Sebastian froze. He hadn’t brushed his teeth yet… But before he could pull back out of anxiety, Will kissed him and he couldn’t help himself, he melted into it, the worry about morning breath temporarily forgotten. Why the heck was Will so good at this? At just being there and attentive and… yup. Morning wood. Fuck.

Sebastian pulled back, flushing, but Will’s eyes were soft and he shivered – and remembered that in his nightmares, William had whispered a name. ‘Max.’ It hadn’t been said with softness. It had been a keening whimper. Whoever Max had been, he wasn’t a past boyfriend. He was sure of it.

Will handed him the coffee and he pulled it close, taking a long drink. It was the perfect temperature for drinking. Warm enough to bloom heat through his chest but not so hot that he was at risk of burning his tongue. Three long pulls. He started to feel human.

He’d written a program last night for breaking through lock codes. He wasn’t sure what sort of security the keypad would have and wasn’t sure if he’d be able to plug in directly, but he had tools if he needed to remove the pad. His mind ran through what he’d need for the door. Tools. Computer. Tablet? Maybe? Cords. Power bank. Did he charge them last night? Yes.

When he finished the cup, he slipped out of the bed and into the bathroom. Will was skimming through his comics, flipping through them, bored, waiting for him to get up. But 10 am was early for someone who usually didn’t get up until 3 pm. And lately, he’d been staying up even later, taking a nap at 10 pm when Will went to sleep, then waking up again at midnight or later when Will’s nightmares woke him up. Nightmares that had someone named Max in them?

Sebastian took care of business, ran a comb through his hair, washed his face, and frowned. His sink was… clean.

“Will? Do you know where my deodorant is?”

“Medicine cabinet,” Will called.

Medicine cabinet? He opened it and stared at the neatly stacked cosmetics, lotions, gels and shaving creams. Neat cups had been lined on the shelves and… labeled. When the hell had Will had time to do this?

“Will?”

“Yeah, babe?” Will answered from the bedroom.

“What did you do to my sink?”

Sebastian closed the medicine cabinet and jumped at Will suddenly _behind_ him in the mirror. He looked amused.

“I organized it.”

“Yeah… I see that. Why?”

“Because it was driving me crazy to see it thrown all over the counter like a toddler’s crayons.”

Sebastian frowned. Then opened the cabinet again. It was… uncanny. Someone as aggressively masculine as Will being fussy about something as simple as bathroom detritus.

“Thanks…” Sebastian said after a moment. “Never thought it’d all fit there. Good use of the cups.”

Will shrugged and yet, Sebastian could tell he was pleased.

“C’mon. We’ll get a smoke in on the way there.”

As if the words ‘smoke’ had woken up his inner monkey, he felt the craving hit him like an ache.

“That would be perfect,” he agreed.

They slipped outside and Sebastian squinted into the sunlight that shone unapologetically and brutal. He yawned, stretched and lit a smoke. Will snapped the light open, and then handed it back. They began the walk to the mines. Sebastian’s skin crawled. He didn’t want to go back in there, he realized as they got closer and closer to the dark hole in the mountain. His feet slowed.

Will put his hand on his back, his fingers steady.

“I got you, Bastian,” he said, voice calm. He was thumbing his cigarette back and forth between his fingers, putting it out. Sebastian nodded and rubbed his own dying cigarette against the side of the mountain before stowing the trash in his pocket. He adjusted the backpack with his tools and things on his shoulder and took a deep breath. Maybe he was going into the mines. But he was with the man the monsters were afraid of. What was the worst that could happen?

*

When he was eighteen years old, William graduated high school from Eastside Zuzu. They were the fourth graduating class of the brand new school—built when Southside had outgrown its district. William’s mom had headed up the PTO and four of the booster clubs for activities he’d never even participated in. When they’d handed him his diploma, William had felt the sound of a timer starting to count down like a bomb.

He’d spent the first weeks post-graduation getting into trouble with local buddies, restless and rudderless, clueless of what he should do. He’d wake up only to walk the streets of the city, dealing small-potatoes weed as a middleman. The guy with the weed was always welcome at a party. It’s how he managed to help steal a rival school’s mascot, how he and an ex-fuckbuddy woke up on the roof of a church once. How his dad got a few flags from the poles of rival financial firms.

Every day his mom tried to nail him down and tell him about how his life was going to run. He’d get his morning coffee and whatever he could scrounge from the fridge of catering leftovers to a daily rundown of questions. Where was he going to go? Did he forget those acceptance letters to Ferngill U? When was he going to send back the registration paperwork? It was his dad’s alma mater, after all. If he wanted freedom and to move out, he should finish the applications and get his name in for student housing. Didn’t want to leave? He could start in his father’s financial firm. Start from the bottom and work his way up. No shame in that, William. No shame in staying home.

William knew that’s what she wanted. Ma wasn’t ready for him to leave home. And if he didn’t have a college degree, well that was okay. Just as long as he was close, right where she could keep her manicured fingers on the pulse of his life. He absorbed her lectures, silent. Then took the keys to the economy compact they’d bought him in his junior year for getting his license, and found something to do that had no long-term benefit to his life.

Four weeks after graduation, William had been brought home by the cops for breaking and entering an old warehouse. It had been stupid. He’d been drunk with four buddies and when the cops came, they’d all run. Well, they’d gotten away. William? Not so much.

It was typical. Angie and David had stood over him while he sat, buzzed and pissed off, on the beautiful designer couch in his mother’s parlor. What had he been thinking? Why was he trying to ruin this beautiful life they’d built him? Did he want to be a hoodlum?

He focused on the Gotorian rug with its paisley swirls and rich colors. His mom had recently cleaned it for the brunch that she was hosting in a few hours. He remembered Kendrick’s face. The kid had been hanging with them, a friend of a friend who tagged along for their ‘investigation’ of where a supposed killing had taken place months ago.

Kendrick had been scared and wild when he’d fallen behind the fleeing boys. William had thought he was so damn young, only a junior to their graduated seniors. Gary and Todd would be fine. They were flying out to their new colleges next week. Kendrick’s parents were working people—his mom a server, his dad a cab driver. Kendrick had the potential to get that gridball scholarship this year if he could keep his nose clean. William had looked at him and seen a guy with a future. Not a fuck-up with a golden goddamned parachute. So he had gone back for him, gotten him over the fence. Moments later he’d been tasting chainlink with the power-hungry growl of an enthusiastic cop giving him instructions on how to move.

He was lucky that time. No priors and a well-known mother who had just headed up the mayor’s fund-raising for his re-election. Instead of being tossed in the drunk tank, the cops had driven William home and delivered him to his appalled and furious parents. David and Angie snapped a decision. While William was trying to remember exactly how much he’d had to drink, he found himself sentenced to exile, off to the armpit of Ferngill.

At the time he’d been a petulant, whining asshole. He’d shown up at the bus stop, feeling as though he’d been sent to the moon. There weren’t parties in Pelican Town. He didn’t know anyone his own age. He didn’t have a car and unlike the city, where no car just meant hoofing it or using the bus, there wasn’t anything here to do or anywhere to go.

The first day had been a rude awakening when Pops had shoved him out of his cot at 6 am. They’d moved rocks. All day. And by they, that meant William moved rocks while Pops watched from his little stool next to the house, carving on a block of wood.

“Hard work is its own reward,” his white-bearded grandfather would say seriously when William was ready to throw a rock at him. It felt like bullshit. So much of this world felt like bullshit.

After the third night of post-rock moving and dirt shoveling, Will snuck out, hitchhiked down the road 15 miles outside of Pelican Town to Kilgree and used his fake ID to get into the honky-tonk bar.

It wasn’t his sort of place. The only neon in the joint was the ‘open/closed’ sign at the door. One look around and William had pegged it as full of straights. No one was interested in hanging out with a kid, and for the first time William could remember, he found himself sitting in the corner of the bright country-themed dive bar and watching the people. He was going stir-crazy on the farm. He craved the excitement of the city, craved the constant flow of activity and people. Craved movement and the burst of action that came from being in the middle of noise and chaos. Trying to find some flavor of his favorite social drug was like picking up an 8 ball of cocaine and getting a pixie stick instead.

He ended up using a payphone to call his grandfather for a pick up at 2 am. He was sloshed. He was ashamed. And he was miserable. Pops brought him home without a word.

William slept it off that day and the next morning, when he woke up, Pops was looking at him with expectation. In penance for his drunken escape, he made fence posts. His first fence posts were uneven and splintered. William had been too impatient to sand them effectively. So he did it again. The next set was too thin. He’d sanded them too much.

They had a bonfire of Will’s failures and the next morning, he tried again. These were deemed as ‘sufficient,’ so up they went.

Every week was like that. Moving rocks. Making fences. Weeding and digging ditches. Work. Work. And more work.

William missed drinking. Missed parties, but his grandfather was a quiet and steady force who seemed immune to William’s adolescent rages. He remembered the first time he’d given into one of his trademark ones. They’d been digging out a pond, a pond that was supposed to be the stock pond where fish were going to live once Pops stocked it… and William had accidentally forgotten to set the brake on their large cart that they were using to haul the massive amounts of earth out of the hole. The cart – more of a truck bed attached to the back of a 4-wheeler – had rolled down the slope they’d created while excavating, and dumped hours of removed dirt right back into their hole.

William had thrown a fit. Yelling. Throwing things. Kicking over tools, and overall expressing his self-hatred through a ridiculous temper tantrum. He’d stood over the scattered tools, panting, staring in sweaty and frustrated helplessness at the mess. Then raised his face to meet his grandfather’s cool blue eyes.

“What are you going to do about it?” Pops had asked dryly. “Getting mad doesn’t pick up the dirt, does it, son?”

Getting mad had done nothing. But the anger… what did you do with the anger when you felt like the fuckshit was going to choke you until you died?

William wondered that in a haze of fury as he stared at the empty lab that Sebastian had let them into. It had been picked clean of any papers or people. Only dead computers sat around, monitors askew. Like those Joja jackasses had known they were coming. Which come to think of it, they probably had. Because of course, they’d have noticed all the data missing by now. They’d have noticed the data breaches.

It had taken William so long to find this place. It had taken him weeks in the dark and he realized, with fury, he was about to have to do it all over again. He’d wasted all that time and energy and only been smart enough to find the place that Joja _wanted_ him to find.

“Well,” Sebastian said dryly, moving over and firing up a computer. “Not what we were hoping for.”

“You fucking think?” William snapped, walking over to an empty locker in the corner. This was typical. Weeks of searching. Finally, make a god damned breakthrough and it’s all just a bunch of—

“They aren’t as smart as they think they are,” Sebastian said, kneeling at one of the consoles. “They didn’t melt the hard drives. Just wiped them.”

He sat down at the desk and William felt a stirring of hope.

“So is that something you can fix?”

“Fix? No. Recover? Maybe. Here. Help me start pulling these computers out and we’ll see if I can’t start pulling hard drives. I have a reader back at the house.”

William let out a breath and then began to do as Sebastian directed.

He didn’t realize they could fit so many hard drives into the cabinets. And yet, Sebastian stood over his shoulder, directing him here and there.

“Those,” he’d say about a stack of metal racks. “Put them there. Careful!”

Which was ridiculous, because of course, he was being careful. Sebastian was meticulous and it reminded William of the different techs that would scurry around the camps when they had to set up, always so titchy and particular about which wires went where, which antennae could be put where.

Sebastian had found a cart and they’d been stacking the hard drives in it when William wrenched his back.

When William was growing up, he’d watch cartoons of old people who would gasp theatrically as they stretched wrong, then hobbled around comically in time to a laugh track.

Throwing out the muscles in his spine was nothing like that.

Part of him knew it was because he’d been overdoing it for weeks in the mines. Part of him knew it was because as much as he’d been slaying beasties and digging for evil hidden headquarters, he’d been careful about his limits. But here, in front of Sebastian, he’d been stupid about lifting and twisting. Stupid about reaching and turning. So when he stretched for that last set of boxes, his back decided it had had enough and instead of being able to complete the full stretch, William heard something ‘pop’ before a lightning bolt of pain shoved up through his back and brought him crashing to his knees.

Sounds dimmed and his vision wavered. He opened his mouth and didn’t scream, just sucked in air as the spasm rolled. He’d fallen on his hip, fallen on his side and for a moment wondered if he could feel his legs… but he’d banged his knee on the cart that he’d been loading hard-drives into and that pain bloomed up, almost a comfort to the mind-shattering intensity of what was going on in his back.

“Will!” Sebastian was looking down at him now and William closed his eyes, breathing and unable to speak. He felt Sebastian touch him and he opened his eyes again. “Are you okay?”

“Obviously I’m fucking amazing right now,” William snapped, hating this. Hating the way he felt and the way his back throbbed. He tried to push up to sit but couldn’t. The movement shoved another poker of pain and agony afresh down his back.

“Stay still,” Sebastian said, eyes wide and fingers trembling. His voice remained cool. “Roll over, okay?” He was pulling his hoodie off. Roll over? Might as well go do some jumping jacks. Still, while Sebastian was fumbling with his jacket, William grunted and tried to do just that, giving a half-sob, half-yell as he managed it. He let out a breath as his body shifted from the curled fallen position on his back to the more neutral one on his front. The hard floor was good, he thought dimly, his spine realigning, even as the pain coiled and throbbed.

Sebastian shifted Will’s neck and put the hoodie underneath his head. William made sure his face was turned away.

“I’m fine,” he growled.

“And I’m a pumpkin,” Sebastian snapped back. “You are as far from fine as can be right now, you stubborn ox. When did your back start hurting?”

William closed his eyes. He so did not want to do this right now.

“It’ll go away.”

“You idiot,” Sebastian growled, shifting so that he could be on the side William was facing. “If you were hurting, why didn’t you say?”

William knew that Sebastian was looking at him. He could feel his eyes, and more fury rolled through him. He was stuck, in the damn mines, on his fucking stomach, pinned and betrayed by his own god damned back, in the middle of freaking enemy territory, and Sebastian wanted to choose now of all time to interrogate him?

“Fuck off, Sebastian.”

Sebastian let out a harsh laugh. “Nice try, William. No. We are talking about this. How long?”

_Every goddamned day, asshole._

“I just overdid it a little. Too much lifting. It’ll go away.”

_I hope._

“Why didn’t you just say you needed a break?” Sebastian asked, frustrated. “It's not like we are under a time crunch.”

Fury ran through him.

“Oh? Not under a time crunch?” He opened his eyes. Sebastian was kneeling next to him, his hand reached out as if he were going to stroke Will’s shoulder. He paused. William glared at him.

“Yeah…” Sebastian said, unsure. “Like I said. We can take our time getting these home.”

“So,” William bit out, fury building, “no rush at all.”

“Will…” Sebastian said, cautious.

“If we’re not under a goddamned time crunch, then why the fuck can you not sleep through the entire fucking night without working on this problem, hmm?”

Sebastian flinched as though William had slapped him. It felt. Good.

“We’re not talking about me,” Sebastian snapped. “We’re talking about you not knowing your limits here!”

Fury mingled with the deep, burning need to prove Sebastian wrong and to rub his face in it.

“My limits are patience, you cowardly prick,” William said.

“Hey!”

“Yes! Coward,” William snarled, and he took the moment to shove himself up. The move was agony but the fury felt good. Like an infusion of endorphins. He’d pushed himself to the very limit when he was angry enough. He’d worry about the after effects later.

Sebastian was wide-eyed, and the fear and shock on his face flipped a switch in William’s head.

“You don’t mean that,” he whispered.

“What I mean,” William said, getting unsteadily to his feet, “is that you care more about the numbers on that damn screen than you do me.”

Sebastian paled. Ha. He’d hit a truth. Fucking jackpot.

William glared down at him, digging more. “You want Rasmodius to respect you like a little fucking dog, so you stay up every night retrieving those data bones, ignoring me, ignoring your family, ignoring your friends. Work is more important than anything, isn’t it Sebastian?”

Sebastian shook his head but didn’t speak. William could see he was near tears. There was, in the back of his mind, a small voice… one that sounded sensible, trying to speak. William’s pain and frustration drowned it out.

“I said I loved you,” he hissed, fists clenched. “The least you could do would be to say you didn’t feel the same way! Stop dangling me like you dangled Abigail, okay?”

Sebastian surged to his feet, enraged.

“Is that what you think?”

“YES!” William shouted, the sound bouncing off the walls. Sebastian glared then stalked past him, gathering up his tools.

“No wonder Cameron left you,” he shouted back. “You’re a stupid, mean, arrogant HOTHEAD. Go ahead and get yourself killed, it's what you want anyway!”

“I WILL!” William shouted back, glaring through the tears of fury and pain that were welling. “And you would be happy too because finally, you wouldn’t have a big, hairy asshole kinking up your life.”

“THEN STAY DOWN HERE!” Sebastian yelled back, throwing the bag over his shoulder. “Finish your stupid quest alone and just never come back for all I give a shit!”

“FINE!” William snarled.

“FINE!” Sebastian snarled back as he started towards the bridge, the door to the Joja room wide open.

William panted out his rage and frustration, knowing if he tried to take a step, he’d end up collapsing. He watched instead as Sebastian crossed the small bridge over the water, hit the elevator and stepped inside. Only after he was dead sure that Sebastian couldn’t look backward did he let himself fall.

And feel like the world’s biggest fuck up.

*

Sebastian wasn’t sure if he was seeing red, if he was going to cry, or if he was going to barf. It was a swirl of fury, hatred, self-loathing and outrage that all created a knot in his stomach.

_All you_ _’re trying to do is help the dumbass out. And he lashes out like that? What a jerk._ He stepped out into the vicious sunshine of the day and immediately lit a cigarette as he stalked down the hill towards town.

Who did William think he was? And how dare he say that he was somehow a thing that needed to be judged on a scale of importance? Of course William wasn’t less important than work. Of course he cared about him. Not wanting to throw yourself out to the world for skewering didn’t make you a coward. Sebastian didn’t have to take that.

He’d fucking come out for William. That counted. Everything that he’d done to support him had counted.

If William thought he was just going to sit in that dark, empty room and take that kind of abuse he could crawl his stupid ass home.

Sebastian finished his cigarette and started a new one, halfway down the mountain. He needed to talk to Sam. He needed to talk to someone who was on his side about this whole mess.

Because honestly. What else was he supposed to do here? He’d changed his whole life around for William. He’d nearly lost him from his own fear… nearly lost him to William’s own stupidity. Yet at this point? What was he doing anyway?

Sebastian kicked a rock out of his path, frustration and worry battling.

_He_ _’s alone back there. And hurting. And you left him._

_Shut. Up_ , he thought viciously at that soft and quiet voice. _Shut up_.

He finished his cigarette and lit a third. Fucking asshole had gone down into those mines and come back beat to hell before and hey, bounced back like a freaking rubber ball. The floor they’d been on had been silent and empty—probably something Joja had done to keep the monsters back.

How dare he call him a coward anyway?! He wasn’t afraid. He was cautious. It was a trait that the big, dumb, stupid, hardheaded, arrogant, hotheaded, loud, frustrating and INFURIATING mountain cosplaying at HUMANITY could learn from.

_He_ _’d not been cautious when he told Chad to leave you alone_.

Nor had he been cautious with his back. Or his body. Or his safety.

So many things William dove into face first as if nothing could hurt or shatter him.

He dropped the butt of his cigarette on Sam’s step and aggressively rubbed it out with his shoe. Blowing out the cloud of smoke and glaring up, he looked into the window of Sam’s bedroom, intending to knock on the pane out of habit to warn him that he was about to come busting up inside—and froze.

He had his blinds up, the curtains down but translucent.

Sebastian stared through the misty cloth and saw that Sam was sitting on his bed, Abigail straddling his lap, his fingers in her hair. Then she pulled back.

Even though the cloth was blocking the scene, it was clear enough the look of hopeful wonder on Sam’s face.

Fuck.

Like a program he didn’t know he had in his system, a list of commands ran down Sebastian’s brain, the orders as strong as if they were hardwired.

Back up.

Take this bullshit somewhere else tonight.

Because goddamned if Sam hasn’t earned a bit of happiness.

Sebastian swallowed his own frustration and problems, squatted and retrieved the butt and then slipped back slowly. He started back towards the wizard’s tower in a daze, his heart pounding.

Sam and Abigail. God, he wanted to be happy for them. He really did.But now he was currently staring at a metaphorical rubber band on the door to his best friend’s room and for once didn’t know where to turn with all the swirl of frustrated emotion that was choking him.

_Go back and check on Will_.

_Hell no_ , he told that soft and ridiculous voice. He lit another cigarette and walked along the river, eyes on his shoes.

Looked like he was going to have to figure this out himself.

He walked for a while, laying out the issue in three columns.

Column 1- the pros of telling Will to go sleep in the damn woods tonight.

Column 2- the cons of telling Will to sleep in the woods.

Column 3- whether or not he should go back into the mines to check on him.

He sighed and finally pulled his head up, trying to decide how he was going to avoid town, because the hell if he was going to risk going back onto Bauer property… when he saw Cameron walking down the path away from the wizard’s tower.

They both stared and then Cameron nodded, closing the distance.

“I know that look,” he said, tossing an arm over Sebastian’s shoulders.

Sebastian froze under the familiar gesture.

“What?”

“You, dear Sebby, have been Bauer-bombed.”

*

William wasn’t sure if he laid on that floor for ten minutes or an hour. It could have been two hours. It could have been five minutes. Between the back cramps and how much of an asshole he was feeling, he wasn’t sure it mattered.

Two years ago and change, he’d had fights like that one every day.

“Why can’t you just realize that we’re all here for you?” Cameron would whisper in their dark room while William roiled through the swamp of pain and frustration in his head. “You’re so lucky, William. Why can’t you just let us help you?”

Except their help had always meant more doctors. More physical therapy. More tests. More scans.

William shook his head, shaking his mind out of that maze.

The floor was cold, which would stiffen him. He looked left and right and saw a rolling chair that some egghead scientist had probably been sitting on days before. He fished it over to himself with reaching fingers, then pulled himself to his knees, then to his feet.

It was a hobble. But he managed. He pushed himself up, then started towards the door.

It was slow, the walk.Slow because of the pain in his back. Slow because he knew what was coming at the end.

“No wonder Cameron left you,” Sebastian had said.

No wonder indeed.

Cameron, who had been in the trauma unit the day they’d brought him in, a broken and bloody pile of meat. He shouldn’t have been alive. He should have died that day on the Gotoro earth. But they’d brought him back. They’d brought him in and cleaned up the meat sack and stitched it together. They’d fit his spine back together and pulled his body back into the semblance of humanity.

He’d woken up in traction on his stomach with Cameron’s worried and kind face right there, sitting where he could see him, on the fucking ground of that field hospital.

“It’s going to be okay, Bauer,” he’d whispered, his long and cool fingers on Will’s bare cheek. “I just spoke to your parents. You’re going home.”

And he had.

But Cameron had stayed at his side. Had managed to wrangle something miraculous through the spaghetti tape that was the Army’s policies, and accompany him with the medical team that flew them to the Ferngill territory hospital.

Every day of those terrible days, Cameron had stayed. Watched. Cared.

William opened his eyes as the elevator doors opened to let him into the first and top floor of the mine. He walked, each step a reminder of those hundreds of thousands of stitches that had put him back, layer by layer, into a man. Only, he wasn’t a man, was he? He was a dirty fucking shitbag pretending to be a man. He was a menace to those who were stupid enough to care for him.

A useless shit bag. What had Sebastian done to deserve that round of heavy verbal fire?

He’d asked if he was okay.

Like a goddamned normal person, he’d asked if he could help.

Only didn’t he know that no one could help? Because he was supposed to do this alone. If he hadn’t been such a fuck up, he would have figured it out before this and they wouldn’t have been pulling damn boxes out of a damn hole to hunt down that which William should have found in the first place.

It was his fault.

So much was his fault.

William squinted into sunlight. It wasn’t that bright, he realized dully, just a shock after the cave. In fact, the sun was going down.

The sun had been going down that day, too.

The day that he’d made sure that Cameron would find him too disgusting to be with.

He had waited for Cam to sleep. They’d been planning their honeymoon. Some beach in a tourist spot that had a picture of hammocks and sunsets on the shiny brochure. A place that Cameron was dreaming of going to. William hadn’t been excited for any of it.

He’d proposed because they’d had another fight, a bad one, though fuck if William could remember what about this time. And he’d been afraid that Cam would leave. Cam who always had extra medical supplies in his coat at the end of a shift. Cam who never questioned Will doing the laundry and easing things on him. Cameron who was so tired at the end of a shift and slept so hard that he never realized when Will was stoned out of his fucking mind on overtaking his meds.

Cameron who had left his prescription pad with fifteen pages left in his coat this time, instead of locked in the drawer at his desk.

William knew Cameron’s signature just like he knew Cameron’s body. And imitating it for the holy trinity of highs had been child’s play.

120 Norcos. 120 Xanax. 120 Soma. An opioid, a benzo and a muscle relaxer. His favorite trilogy. Made it all slow down. Made his head stop replaying the bullshit. Made his body finally, finally relax. Made it all go away.

All of it goes away.

His ability to manage things.

His fiancé.

His fucking reason to breathe every morning.

And William knew that Cameron had found out, when he’d come home from his bender the next day and saw the first bag sail out that window of their apartment.

And as the bags hit the ground, white garbage sacks with black marker on the sides, “LYING DIRTY FUCKING ASSHOLE” written as big as the font of a goddamned billboard, William knew it was over.

Over as Cameron begged and pleaded with him to go to rehab. Over when he’d felt Cameron throw the ring at his chest. Over when his parents had tried to stage their fucking intervention.

Over and over and over like the wheels in his head, replaying the bombs. The bomb which came into his dreams and left Justin’s arm where he could reach, with no Justin attached. Left Max on his back, cold and dead and decaying when men in Ferngill uniforms pulled him from his grave like a goddamned zombie.

He stopped walking when he was in front of his own door. He stepped in.

But Cameron wasn’t here.

Good.

He knew what he needed.

He knew exactly how to make this go away. To let himself get some clarity of the mess in his head.

Because god, he was already a fuck up. He had fucked it all up beyond saving. It was too much now. Too much to worry about. Too much to handle. Sebastian had said it and meant it, and why wouldn’t he mean it? Die. Just fucking go and die and maybe he would be happy.

He opened his med kit and pulled out supplies. The syringes. The sterile water. The wheel filter. The tourniquet. The two different gauge needles. One big. One small.

He walked into his bathroom and took out that bottle of pills. It was a shame they were 5mgs. He’d have to crush a lot.

He gathered it up and walked out towards the back of his land.

It was getting dark now, but that was okay. It was okay because it was time to visit Pops.

He stepped over to the shrine in the corner of his land, the one that Rasmodius had said he’d put up for the old man.

William sat slowly at the shrine and cleared the stone in front.

“Pops,” he said, “you fucked up bad this time.”

He began to lay out his supplies. Then, with the care of remembered practice, though it had been two years ago, he began to crush the pills.

These were the good tablets. No wax coating. Not many binders. Probably something from the back of the pharmacy. Pelican Town was so small. No need to think much about diversion. In the city, he could have sold a pill like this for enough money to buy twice the heroin. But he wasn’t in the mood to drive all the way out when he could get relief now.

“It was going pretty well for a while,” he told his Pops as he created the fine, beautiful powder. “But god, you should have known it was only a matter of fucking time.”

He pulled out his ID from his wallet and carefully scraped the mix into his spoon. Then he pulled out the water and wheel filter and syringes.

“You should have known the day you gave me this farm that you were burning it to the ground.”

He pulled water through the filter, added it to his mix to prime it and then began to carefully stir with the plunger of his syringe.

“But I can’t do it,” he whispered. “I can’t make anything out of this. Everyone just should have realized it from day one.”

He stared at the white mixture in the spoon, then pulled out a cigarette. With a calm movement, he pulled out the clean filter and laid it on his mix. He placed his large gauge needle and pulled up the mass of Norco into the syringe, then opened his injecting syringe, and carefully, so gently, poured clean, filtered active Norco into the waiting receptacle.

“So let’s see if I can still do the one thing I’ve always been good at?” he whispered, his hands shaking as he stared at the clear and beautiful vial.

He put his prep to the side, then put on the new, sharp, injection needle over the syringe. He pulled on the rubber tourniquet, leaning back against the headstone and closing his eyes, feeling for vein. It had been a while. Two whole years. There had to be a place between the scar tissue that he could find. Had to be a place where… there. Yes. He waited, breathing slowly as he found the spot. Pressed with his fingers to be sure. He liked this one. It would give him a quick release. Then the pain would stop. The pain from his back. From his head. Maybe even from his heart.

He pressed the needle into his skin and then slowly, at the proper angle, pressed the plunger.

He watched, heart slowing in relaxation as the vial emptied. He removed the spent syringe, watching as blood beaded at the injection site and with an exhale, removed the tourniquet.

Then closed his eyes as the haze of numbness took him.

*

Sebastian shrugged off Cameron’s arm with annoyance.

“Hey,” he said, stepping sideways. “One conversation doesn’t make us friends, Cam.”

“Well,” Cameron said, unaffected. “We have a lot in common, Seb.”

“Last I checked I was a college dropout living in a small town, and you were an army vet with a nursing practice and a modeling career,” Sebastian said dryly.

“We are in the ‘William Bauer has pissed me off’ club, Seb. It’s a bond that runs deeper than petty things like demographics.”

Sebastian exhaled his smoke and lifted his eyes to the trees. Then stopped when he realized they were almost on Will’s land.

“Nope,” he said firmly, turning away.

“Oh relax you big baby. He’s not there.”

“Considering he and I just had a fight, he might be.”

“Whatever. If he’s that mad, he’ll go to the bar. And then come back a blubbering, ridiculous, apologetic mess. It’s his motif. Fuck up. Go drink. Go get high. Come back crawling on his knees about whatever he did.”

Sebastian side-eyed Cameron.

“Will is sober.” He flicked the cigarette to remove ash and took another inhale. “He’s been sober for over two years.”

“Tell that to the beer in his fridge,” Cam said dryly. “He doesn’t think drinking counts, for some damn reason. Like one drug being ignored excuses the other.”

Sebastian shifted, uncomfortable. It was one thing to ask advice about Will’s dreams. To talk about his PTSD when it was obviously affecting him. But it felt wrong to discuss him this way. Sebastian remembered how defensive he’d been about it all when he was driving him home from the hospital. Yeah, he wouldn’t like this.

“We had a fight,” he admitted.

Cameron nodded, sage.

Sebastian frowned as they walked up the path. It looked as though the fields had been recently watered and weeded – but Will had been in the mines for weeks looking for the altar so they could shut down this plot of Joja’s.

“Did you water these fields?”

Cameron gave him a flat look. “Honey, do these look like dirt hands to you?”

Sebastian stopped and rubbed his cigarette on a fence post, tucking the butt in the collection he kept in his pocket. “Will hasn’t had time to come out here…” he said after a moment of confusion.

“Well, no. But that nice old wizard put some of those Apple monkies—”

“Junimos,” Sebastian corrected absently.

“ _Apple monkies_ ,” Cameron repeated, primly, “on it and they’ve just been doing all sorts of things around here. ”

“Huh,” Sebastian said, starting to pull out another cigarette.

Cameron snatched his lighter and threw it off into the distance.

“Hey!”

“You’re just a kid. All that smoking is going to give you lung cancer.”

Sebastian glared at him. “Thought we were friends.”

Cameron sniffed haughtily. “Youngblood, friends don’t let friends kill themselves. It’s in the damn handbook.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes and shoved his smokes into his back pocket.

“So,” Cameron pressed. “What did Will do? Reorganize your book collection without asking?”

Sebastian frowned. That was a petty thing to get mad about.

“No.”

“Did he throw out your best GlamGirl eyeshadow because he thought it was old?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes, muttering, “No.”

“Did he download a porn virus on your computer.”

“No!” Sebastian said, starting to get irritated by Cam’s obnoxious guessing game. “He called me a coward after he threw out his stupid back.”

Cameron froze and snapped his head over.

“What?”

Sebastian ran his fingers through his hair, craving that cigarette all over again.

“We went into the mines,” he reported grimly, not wanting to look at Cameron, who had jogged to catch back up. “Will thought he’d found a hideout but, well, we were going to check before we told you and Ras. It wasn’t what we thought. We were loading some disks to take back and… I don’t know, his back must have hurt him.”

Cameron bit his lip and in a serious voice, one that didn’t sound at all like the jovial happy hour tone he’d had before, said, “Where is he?”

“Well,” Sebastian snapped, “according to you, he’s at the bar telling the whole world about what a cowardly brown-noser I am.”

Cameron’s jaw tightened and he froze when they came to the steps of the house. The door was open.

“This… isn’t good.”

Sebastian swallowed and nodded. Then they stepped in, and he froze.

There were muddy boot prints on Will’s floor.

Will always took his boots off when they were dirty. Sebastian had nearly tripped over them and broken his neck one time, after a muddy pair had been set too close to the door.

“Will?” he called, looking around the small house. Cameron walked past him, eyes focused on the prints. They stepped into Will’s bedroom and saw the huge medical kit that Will had strewn all over the floor. Cameron swallowed then dashed sidewise into the bathroom.

“FUCK,” he snapped, staring into the cabinets.

“What?”

“His pills. He took his goddamned pills.”

Alarm ripped through Sebastian.

“What pills?”

“The Norcos the hospital gave him. Fuck.”

“Wait,” Sebastian said. “How did you—”

“I saw them my first day. But,” Cameron shifted, looking back at the med kit, his eyes skimming the disarray, “they were still all there. So I thought…” He shook his head, his eyes hollow. “It doesn’t matter. We have to find him. He took syringes.”

Sebastian’s heart fell. He closed his eyes and shoved his emotions back.

Logic. They needed to be logical about this.

Cameron turned and dug through the kit, muttering, then he sagged as he found a small plastic box.

“What’s that?”

“Naloxone hydrochloride,” Cameron said, eyes cool. “Auto injector. It’s for opioid overdose. The EMT that set this kit up knew what he was doing. We need to find Will.”

Sebastian thought about Will. Thought about everything he knew.

Will wouldn’t be at the beach. He hated the water.

He wouldn’t have gone to Sebastian’s. He would have gone somewhere to be alone.

Where did you go to be alone?

Someplace peaceful. Someplace no one would stumble upon.

“Follow me,” Sebastian said grimly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings:  
> -Drug Use  
> -Foul Language  
> -Smoking  
> -Crimes against bathroom products
> 
> Drug Abuse and medication diversion are NOT RECOMMENDED by the author. If you feel you have a problem or know someone with a problem related to overtaking or diverting prescription drugs, please look at the following hotlines.
> 
> https://drugabuse.com/library/drug-abuse-hotlines/  
> https://drugabuse.com/library/how-to-help-a-drug-addict/  
> https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/free/
> 
> Big thanks to [Ginger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/profile) and [Turtletotem](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleTotem/profile), because you both cried with me when I wrote scene four. 
> 
> If you had an emotional reaction from this chapter, please leave it in the comments where we can all comfort each other. God knows I fucking need comfort okay. Also you can talk to me at [my Tumblr](https://dracoangelicawritesfanfiction.tumblr.com/)! It's where I keep all of the behind the scene babble and real-time updates.
> 
> Cloudburst updates on Saturdays between 8 and 10pm CST. Chapter 45 will be posted January 20, 2018.


	45. Squeeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings.  
> Trigger Warnings ALL the things.  
> Trigger Warnings for:  
> -near death  
> -hospitals  
> -drug use  
> -trauma  
> -bad coffee  
> -slow wifi  
> -ambulances  
> -medical terminology  
> -needles  
> -the sale and use of illegal drugs  
> -generalized horribleness  
> Stay safe kids

William remembered his first heroin rush with the clarity and affection that some people gave their first kiss. He’d been 24 and it was the fifth time that week that he’d called his pain management doctor begging to have his medication increased beyond the current dose. Calling Ferngill Republic’s Veteran Affairs hospital was like walking a spaghetti maze. He didn’t think human beings worked there. Instead, it was a digital factory run by machines and roto-dialing operators who never asked your name, just the last four of your military ID so that they could insert you into the alphabet soup of department roulette.

“Hold please,” one generic voice would say.

William held, standing against the wall of their apartment, the pain of his back a nightmare of pulses. He never got a callback. No answer to his frustrated cries for help. No relief to the pain. Nothing but a cool nurse on this final try who informed him that his medication could be reviewed at his next office visit in two more months. Through clenched teeth, he requested a sooner appointment.

“No sir, we don’t have a sooner appointment.”

“I’m almost out.” He looked down at the orange bottle that he held like a lifeline.

“You were instructed to take four a day, Sgt. Bauer. That prescription was supposed to last you until the fifteenth.”

“You don’t understand," William growled. "I can't sleep without these."

“Sir. Overtaking your medication is a violation of the pain contract that you signed. It's against the VA’s policy to give early fills because a patient was noncompliant.”

He closed his eyes, the threat clear: Do as you’re ordered, soldier, or we will punish you.

“Yes, ma’am.”

He hung up the phone and felt a choking, unhappy wave of desperation and pain rock through his spine.

He’d gotten his coat. He’d ripped the list of groceries off the fridge and the cash that Cameron had stuck next to it. He left in his search.

He’d called Keith, an old friend in high school that he’d dealt weed with for the few months before getting clean and joining the service. It was a different type of spaghetti network. One of introductions. Did Keith know a guy? No, but he knew a guy who’d know a guy. One person helped another to another. With an order of $75 later William had enough pills to make it until his appointment at the doses he’d been taking.

But, as he’d been making his pick up, the dealer gave him a sympathetic look. She was a little old lady with a cloud of white hair and a face like a worn paper bag, a pair of half-moon glasses perched on her nose. Not at all the image of a stereotypical drug dealer.

“You were in the war?” she asked, seeing the memorial tattoo that he’d gotten on his arm, the symbol of Ferngill’s latest and greatest who’d fallen in battle.

“Yes ma’am,” he said, shame burning his ears.

“So was my son. And he never came home,” she murmured, turning towards a drawer. “Do you hurt?”

William hesitated. He’d just come for more pills. Something as a stopgap to keep him from getting dropped from pain management. He knew that clinic. After all his harassing calls they were going to demand a pill count and he had to make sure the bottle was right. But she waited for an answer as if she had something in mind.

“Yes,” he admitted to her assessing gaze. “Every day.”

“Here, see if this helps,” the lady said, pulling out a small bag of white powder. He frowned and then watched as she added the substance to water on a spoon, heated it up with a lighter, then dropped a cigarette filter into the mess and sucked it up a syringe.

She showed him how to tourniquet his arm. She guided her little, arthritis-wracked fingers over the vein, and then, with an easy move, she injected for him.

William sat on her flowered couch and stared off into space as for one, perfect, beautiful moment, all the pain eased. He felt like he got his first deep breath. Like he’d become someone sort of close to who he’d used to be. Someone who could move like the young man he was instead of the old geezer he’d become.

He turned his head to look at the little lady’s face, wanted to tell her, “Thank you, for this gift of relief,” but her face had morphed from the sweet heroin angel to his grandfather’s.

Pops did not look cheerful about passing on some succor to a poor, injured soldier.

William tried to stand up from the flowered couch, to back out of the room, but he couldn’t. He was stuck. He moved his head left and right as the room started to recede and the colors bled out. His grandfather was tinted blue, his body cold and mystical.

“William, son, what have you done?”

“I didn’t have a choice,” William snapped, the censure in his grandfather’s voice burning him.

“We always have choices,” his grandfather rumbled, his eyes cold in that dead face, a face that he’d buried months ago.

William tried to stand again but he couldn’t. He couldn’t move at all.

"Lie to yourself. Don’t lie to me.”

William was swallowed by his grandfather's stare. Those eyes. He could never lie to those eyes.

“It. Hurts,” he whispered. “It hurts inside where no one can see or fix. At least this way, it stops hurting for a while.”

Under Pop’s gaze, shame soaked into William’s skin.

“You can prevent this. You can make a choice every day to prevent this. You are not a victim, William. You are an addict.”

William felt his eyes burn.

“Shut up.”

Pops did not shut up. Pops got closer, his cold face and dead eyes boring into him.

“Take. Responsibility. William. Head on, remember? How does that dirt taste?”

William’s heart began to pound. He opened his mouth but Pops was right. Dirt in his mouth. He closed his eyes. Tried to figure out _why_ there was dirt in his mouth. How had he gotten that taste when he was in the old lady’s house? Just as he was puzzling it out, he felt a shot of something painful go into his leg.

“Keep him in the recovery position,” said a vague and distant voice. “We need to call an ambulance.”

The voice was too familiar. But impossible.

“How much did he take?” The sound of the second voice made him flinch. No, they shouldn’t have found him. He’d hidden so well.

“We’ll count them later. Grab every pill you see and put them back in the bottle.”

Someone was rolling him off his back and onto his side. He couldn’t see them yet but they manhandled him like a sack of flour.

Flour… he needed to build a mill next spring for his wheat crop. Wheat he hadn’t planted yet. But he was going to. Just needed enough money for the seeds.

“Will?”

William didn’t answer. He couldn’t face them. Hadn’t they told him this was best? Just to die and be happier that way?

He couldn’t remember the words, so instead he focused on the problem at hand. Would he buy wheat? It was a quick crop but not very profitable. But there weren’t any artisan mills in town yet. Everyone bought flour from Joja and if that wasn’t a recipe for bland and boring…

“Will?”

That voice again.

Couldn’t they see he was thinking about his future here? The future of the farm and the future of how he was going to fix it all. He could think now that the pain had receded. Someone had turned out the lights. His tongue felt heavy and coated in dirt.

“Is he breathing?”

Why was Baker here again?

“Yes.”

“Small favors. Okay, I’m taking this side—”

Their voices faded and William sank into his thoughts. Thoughts that made sense right now. Thoughts about crops and a memory of a larger than normal vegetable patch and small creatures with thin arms and apple bodies. Thoughts about dreams and an altar that would sink a town into darkness. Thoughts about a vague shadow in the distance with long arms that sank its roots deep and took out all the life, leaving nothing but a shell of the place that had been his haven. Thoughts of himself too weak to stand against it all.

He’d been moving the whole time, hanging between two men. Odd. Usually, a medic rolled you onto a board and carried you off the field, not made you stumble-walk. He was shifted and then felt the couch underneath him.

He closed his eyes but there was a sharp feeling on his face. The familiar sound of a slap.

Cameron.

“Stay awake, you stupid fuck,” he snapped.

William finally realized why it was dark. His eyes had been closed. He opened them now and stared into the lean and sweating face of his ex. This was familiar.

Then his heart spasmed. Sebastian was standing over his shoulder, arms crossed, eyes wide and body tense.

Fear.

William had made him afraid.

William shut his eyes again, inhaled and shoved at the web of haze that he’d wrapped himself in. He had to sit up. Had to show them it was fine. That he could still handle this.

Except he didn’t and he couldn’t. He opened his eyes but didn’t move anything else.

They were staring at him now and ruining what had started out as one of the best highs of his life. God, he wanted them to leave. To stop staring.

_Head on_ , a small voice whispered. He closed his eyes again. Not wanting to hear that voice. Not wanting to think those thoughts. Not wanting to remember why “Head On” had become his stupid life motto and not wanting to accept that once more he was fucking it all up… would always fuck it all up.

“Will.” The voice was soft and the hand that touched his own hand was softer.

He felt something hard in his chest start to crack.

“He’s not responding,” Cameron was saying, that fury and anger buried by cool professionalism. “He probably won’t remember anything we’re saying once he comes down.”

“Here,” Sebastian was saying and Will heard the rattle of pills. “I’ll stay with him. Go count the pills and see if he took anything else from the kit. We’ll wait for the ambulance.”

Cameron didn’t argue.

Shocking.

Cameron could argue with a damn brick wall over whether a color was red or rouge.

William tried to follow that thought train, tried to climb aboard and let it take him somewhere else than his own brown couch—not as magical as the flowered fabric of the old lady’s couch—

“Hey.” Sebastian’s voice was a soft rope that looped around and guided him back to the present. “Hey, Will. Open your eyes.”

He did. Because it was the least he could do right now.

Sebastian was calm. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, face level with Will’s on the couch. Then he pulled Will’s hand down, barbed wire knuckles on Sebastian’s pale fingers.

“I’m going to speak. You squeeze. One squeeze for yes. Two squeezes for no. Okay?”

William swallowed. He stared into that calm face. Fear? Where was the fear? He’d put fear there and yet here he was. Fearless. William’s inhale stretched out like taffy. Everything was so slow. Then he squeezed the cool fingers once.

“Good,” Sebastian said, his other hand reaching up and pushing the hair out of William’s eyes. “Are you in any pain right now?”

William squeezed the hand twice.

“That’s going to change,” Sebastian said, his fingers still pushing that hair back. “Cameron says that once the drugs work their way out of your system, it's going to feel like your nerves hit sandpaper. That’s why we’re bringing you to the hospital. Your heart could stop, Will.”

William closed his eyes. Maybe that would be best. Then someone else could try and find Joja’s stupid fucking hide-out. Sebastian could find someone who didn’t scream at him for reaching out. Could find someone who didn’t make him want to leave their bed at night. Someone who hadn’t jumped him like a cheap trick at a bar and didn’t cause the people around him to make him justify…

“Stay with me,” Sebastian whispered, fingers rubbing circles on Will’s scalp. He opened his eyes, felt tears leaking and couldn’t stop them because his arm was too damn heavy to wipe them away.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian said.

William squeezed twice.

“No? Well, I am.”

Frustration welled in William’s chest. Two more squeezes.

“You can tell me no,” Sebastian said, firm. “But I am. I’m sorry.”

Frustration choked. William took a breath and swallowed.

“Don’t,” he managed to rasp.

“Don’t what? Be sorry? Well too bad. I am. I pushed you out there. I made it harder. Will… that’s not what it's supposed to be about. I can’t make it harder.”

This was bullshit, he thought, bullshit for Sebastian of all fucking people, to apologize. He tried again but felt a wave of exhaustion.

Damn it, he had words to say. Things to do. Why couldn’t he move? He’d forgotten this. Forgotten this cotton-coated feeling of helplessness. Forgotten that once the drug hit, nothing worked or moved. Too slow. Too thick and stuck. Fury burned in him but for once, it did fuckshit when it came to breaking through. He could only lay there, half paralyzed as sirens approached.

Sebastian was watching him. Still holding his hand. Another goddamned merry-go-round trip to the hospital and for what? For why? God, he was so stupid, he realized with lucidity as he sat trapped in his own fucking body, for this? For this feeling of helplessness. For this moment of sitting by and being a useless sack of shit while other people depended on him.

That reminder sent a racing thought through him. Of another time and another place that wasn’t here, and a smell of something awful, that wasn’t here either. A hand. One hand pale and cool and gone.

But whose hand was it? Was it Justin’s hand on that field of black and mud? Was it…

“I’m going to meet the EMTs,” Cameron said, chasing out the foggy swamp of memories and feelings. William closed his eyes.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Sebastian asked.

William squeezed the hand once.

*

There were advantages to being an introvert with limited life experience. For example, a man rarely got hurt when his main sexual encounters were camboys with blurred faces. He’d never known their names, much less their demons. He’d been satisfied with his two friends for all social needs—they were just as vanilla-boring as he was. He’d never thought he’d miss the routine of the same night out. The same bar with the same people and the same music and the same pool table with its familiar green nap. Sebastian thought that he’d been bored. As they loaded William into the ambulance, he wished for one small slice of boring again.

Will’s hand was like ice. His breathing? Slow. His movements? Sluggish. His temperature was low and each action looked as though he performed it through water. Cameron had given him quick and concrete instructions when they’d found Will face down in front of his grandfather’s shrine. The scene of Will’s overdose was so far outside of anything Sebastian had witnessed that it had felt cinematic. It was the most horrifying surreality. Fear had crystallized into a rock of terror and anguish when they’d rolled him over, unresponsive, arm trickling the smallest line of blood. Will had used his boot laces as a tourniquet, syringes from the medical kit, a literal hammer to crush the pills, and one of his kitchen spoons to mix the whole mess.

In the ambulance, Sebastian pulled his eyes from Will’s face and watched Cameron.

He was in his element, sitting in the ambulance, handing supplies to the EMTs, a steady stream of authoritative suggestions fueling their activities. They attached leads to Will’s chest. Seconds later the staccato tattoo of a heart monitor was another background noise over the engine. Sebastian took in the sounds now. There was more chaos than he’d realized, as focused as he'd been on Will’s breathing. There was talking, the squeak of the gurney. Around them, the big truck rattled and shook as the different packed supplies shifted. There was the constant scream of the siren above them as their driver wove them down the highway to the hospital.

Sebastian closed his eyes, feeling overwhelmed by it all. The fingers locked inside his pulsed. He looked to see Will focused on him, for a moment, blue eyes as cold as his skin. Then his lids slid shut again, exhausted.

At the entrance to the ER, Cameron dashed inside and said something to the person at the front desk. Sebastian waited as a hospital bed was rushed out and he let go of Will so they could slide him over.

“Male. Twenty-eight,” Cameron said to the other nurse who was helping them load Will up. “BP is eighty-five over fifty. Heart rate dropped to 45 but has increased to 56. Last pulse ox reading was…”

Sebastian stopped following the list of stats that were all data points in identifying who Will was. He followed along the side of them, hesitating at the double doors, but before he could waffle Cameron’s hand was on his shoulder, pushing him along with them. He’d not stopped speaking as another person in scrubs stepped up.

“—history of drug abuse and extensive past surgeries. Allergic to sulfa drugs, and morphine causes adverse reactions. Family history of hypertension and hypoglycemia though patient has never shown signs—”

Sebastian stepped to the corner of the ER room they were wheeled into, folding himself back as Cameron reported Will's medical history and other pertinent information.

One of the nurses frowned as she peeled up Will’s sleeve.

“There is a lot of scar tissue,” she murmured, feeling for a vein to start an IV.

Another one leaned over his arm and sighed. “He’s going to be a hard stick,” she groused, ripping open plastic catheters and breaking an iodine wand over the spot. “Looks like he’s had infections here before.”

“I’ll do it,” Cameron said, shifting next to them. “You think this is hard, trying doing it while a bomb is going off over your head.” He snapped on gloves and Sebastian stared in amazement as he located, found, and stuck William with one smooth movement, shifting his fingers through to tape down the plastic tubing.

“Nice work,” the first nurse said. “You looking for a job?”

Cameron glanced up at Sebastian and then back at Will.

“Maybe.”

They attached a fluid bag next, hanging the stuff on a pole. Then Cam and Sebastian were left alone with William. Cameron washed his hands in the sink and Sebastian stood at Will’s non-IV side, reached forward and held his hand.

Will wasn’t speaking.

Only hours before they’d been screaming horrible things at one another.

Now he was on this hospital bed, silent and focused on something else, closing and opening his eyes at uneven intervals. When he felt Sebastian’s fingers, he squeezed. Sebastian stared down at their joined hands. Barbed wires knotted across Will's knuckles, the trail of them winding up his wrist and to his elbow, where it clustered underneath the rotten peach, dark grey scale blending with the vibrant and sickly colors of dripping peach flesh. Behind that, Sebastian traced the tattoo of eleven spent casings, each clustered to fall from the top of Will’s shoulder, each with a set of dates etched into the bottom of the shells. He swallowed as he realized the first dates were all different. The last dates were all the same.

He stroked down the ink, ran his fingers over the places between the lines. Empty spaces that still had room to be filled. The bare skin between all of his barbed wire that could still be inked with beautiful pictures. A negative canvas that he could still paint with something that didn’t remind him of rotting, pain, and loss. Sebastian let out a breath. Because that’s what it was. A tribute and constant reminder of all the things he’d messed up. The wire barbs were drawn to cut into the skin, small droplets of blood designed to bead up around the ends. The peach was perfect and beautiful on one side but the rotten core oozed and dripped. The bullets fell, each a mark of a man lost.

“It should have been me,” Will had said in the car, only weeks ago.

He was so convinced that he didn’t deserve to live that he’d made sure to scratch the reminder into himself, into his flesh. To never forget and move on. Sebastian pulled the barbed knuckles to his lips and kissed them.

As he debated if he should speak or if he should do more than stand there, Will pulsed his fingers. Sebastian looked at his face, but it was slack, his eyes closed.

Two techs came in and Cameron was back in the action, surging to his feet from where he’d been sitting.

After discussing histories and surgeries and agreeing to scans, the two hospital workers rolled William out for an MRI. Sebastian stood in the empty space that Will’s bed had occupied and then sank down into a chair beside Cameron.

In that moment of solitude, he was struck by how young Cameron was. Maybe the same age as Will. Twenty-eight? Not that much older than Sebastian’s twenty-four. Sebastian waited, unwilling to speak. What was he going to say, anyway? ‘Thanks. Glad you were there to help me with your ex-boyfriend’? Or maybe, ‘Wow Cameron. You sure do come in handy when William dives off the deep end. Good job holding the net with me.’

Cameron took in a deep breath, lost in his own feelings for once. Sebastian swallowed back the urge to go smoke. He didn’t have a lighter. It was still out in Will’s fields. He leaned back in his seat and focused on the tan wall across from them.

“How,” Sebastian ventured, “how are you holding up?”

Cameron rubbed his head, looking over at Sebastian with a wry expression.

“Experiencing… flashbacks.”

“Flashbacks?”

“Not from an OD. Just… too many nights in a hospital, advocating for him when he couldn’t do it for himself.”

Sebastian seized onto the words. Painted the picture for himself. Cameron, cool and well-spoken when they were in the medical field, would have been an excellent advocate. He got across the needs of a patient in a way staff could understand. He wasn’t histrionic. He wasn’t dramatic here. In fact, all the attitude and complaining that Sebastian had begun to associate with him seemed to be gone. It was like he was two different men. The sullen and whining pretty boy who’d slunk around the old books at Rasmodius’s, and this secure and focused pillar who could snap out chemical names as if he was reading a list instead of reciting from memory.

That had to be it, he decided, squaring the circle. That sort of quiet competence was why Will had stayed with him. That was why William’s parents seemed so enchanted with him. The Cameron he’d met, the dramatic and flailing parody of gay culture… it was all an act. A front for how he might want to be presented. Sebastian looked over at the still face, brown eyes processing and thinking. This person was so much more than Sebastian had credited him for.

“He was in recovery,” Sebastian said. “He was so proud of it. Told me about it around the first week we were together.”

Cameron looked at him, sympathy blooming on his face. He reached over and Sebastian looked down at their joined hands. Cameron’s strong fingers and brown skin against his own white. Sebastian gripped the hand, grateful, interlocking the fingers and feeling understood in his frustration.

“Ninety-two,” Cameron murmured.

“What?”

“Ninety-two percent of opioid addicts relapse,” Cameron whispered, eyes on the floor. “William always thought he’d be the exception. Wanted to be that eight percent that stayed off the juice.” Sebastian nodded, that sort of determination and shooting for the rare outcome understandable in Will. Cameron rubbed the top of Sebastian’s hand with his other hand and it seemed more like he was reaching for something to soothe himself than trying to comfort Sebastian. “You know, Bauer doesn’t handle failure well,” he said.

Sebastian snorted.

Cameron chuckled and then sighed. “It’s like if he’s forced to fuck up,” he said, irritation bleeding through his voice, “he’s going to make sure it’s the most epic fuck up that anyone has ever seen just so he can point at it with pride.”

“He’s been pushing too hard,” Sebastian whispered.

Cameron nodded. “Or, as he would see it, he’s been ‘doing what needs to be done.’ Like he’s not just a god damned human being. With limits.”

“What do we tell him when he wakes up?”

Cameron stiffened. Sebastian glanced at him. “What?”

“If he wakes up,” Cameron said, his voice in that too-soft neutral tone, “we will figure it out.”

Sebastian stared at him. “What do you mean if?”

“He injected himself with twenty milligrams of unfiltered Acetaminophen and Hydrocodone, Sebastian. Four pills. Four times what he was prescribed. And he didn’t take them orally, as he was instructed. Ingested, the medication would have released at a slow rate. But he didn’t just get the opioid. He got a major dose of acetaminophen, so they’re running liver panels. More than four thousand milligrams of the other stuff will kill him and his stupid ass just shot up thirteen hundred. After having next to no tolerance. We’re seeing him experience CNS repression. That is,” Cameron said, seeing his confused look, “Central Nervous System shut down. His heart rate is slow. His breathing is slow. We kept him alive with the rescue shot, but we don’t know what is going to happen.”

Sebastian shook his head. “He’s going to live.”

Cameron didn’t agree. But he didn’t disagree. Sebastian glared and stood.

“Cameron, you have to believe in him. He’s strong. He’s survived worse than this.”

Cameron folded his hands and met Sebastian's eyes. “I won’t lie to you about his chances. He’s stable for now and if we can get his breathing and heart rate improved, he should recover. But slow lungs lead to pneumonia. We don’t know how long he might have been suffering from low oxygen. I want to be positive too, Sebastian, but this is how addicts die. They think they’re invincible and that what happens to other people won’t happen to them. Then they overtake the thing they feel is helping them and they don’t get back up.”

Sebastian paced for a moment and shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets. Cameron stood and stopped his turning, pulling him into a hug. Sebastian froze, startled by the sudden intimacy.

“I want him to pull through too,” Cameron said, resting his chin on his head. “But we need to approach this with the facts.”

Sebastian nodded against him, and then, after a moment, hugged him back. Cameron’s heart was pounding in his ear. Faster than he thought it should.

He’s just as scared as I am, he realized. He knows how bad it can go and is just as scared.

“He’s going to be okay,” Sebastian murmured, stubborn. Because he had to believe that. It was illogical to say, looking at the facts, but Sebastian knew he had to believe it.

Because the alternative was too terrible to contend with.

*

William opened his eyes during the MRI, a loud humming dancing around his head. The feeling of being in a tunnel. He felt so heavy. He had been restrained. He tried to breathe but it was hard. Where was he? Oh. An MRI. Claustrophobic motherfuckers. He closed his eyes again.

He opened them and it was dark. There was something warm in his hand.

Squeeze once for yes and twice for no.

What was the code for he wanted to wake up now?

He closed his eyes and when he opened them, it was cold. Someone was standing over him and talking.

Words about being lucky. Words about finding it in time. Words about a rescue. Words that made no sense.

He closed his eyes and when he opened them, he was on fire. Pain that had been dulled to the point of ignoring and moving past it was now like tiny embers. He could imagine every screw. Every pin. Every place where the bone had resealed. Someone came and put something in his IV bag. Talking voices.

The hand in his hand. He squeezed once. Twice. Three times.

What was the code for making it stop?

He closed his eyes.

He let himself fall into the darkness.

*

Sebastian decided that a hospital’s wifi connection was in the same league as a nursing home resident’s top speed after a hip replacement.

It had been four days. Will had developed pneumonia just as Cameron had predicted. Yesterday he had a fever from an infection. Apparently, even if your equipment was sterile, you shouldn’t shoot your drug of choice off of an exposed stone out in the middle of the forest. A vicious part of him thought it served him right to do something as stupid and boneheaded as shoot up his meds. The rest of him was terrified.

He’d only been home once in the last four days. He’d told Sam what happened on the way home and cried as he drove. Then he’d told his parents that Will had an accident and stopped by Rasmodius’s to give him an update.

“This is very bad news,” the wizard had said. “When he is well enough, I want you to bring him straight here. I have some potions that will assist him.”

“I think he’s had enough chemical boosters,” Sebastian had said, arms crossed.

“There is more in this world than you can quantify,” Ras had replied.

Sebastian had found it to be a non-answer. Like a fortune cookie that told you to bring an umbrella when the clouds were gathering. He looked over at the bed that Will was laid up in. He’d woken up a few times, disoriented, and then passed back out. Four days was a long time to sustain the deep worry and terror that he’d been hit with. Now he was just frustrated. He stared at his laptop screen and the lists of Joja deliveries around Pelican Town. He’d come up with three new theories and methods for finding the main base of operations, but none of them could do anything without a healthy Will to wake up and find it.

He looked back over at Will. He slept like he’d never had sleep before. Though, thinking about his hours, Sebastian wondered if this was the longest amount of time that he’d ever been still.

He smelled the coffee before Cameron entered the room.

“Delivery,” he sang, swanning into the hospital room as if it were an entrance to a gala, instead of an austere concrete cell with a thirty-year-old tv and a whiteboard with medical notes.

“I never thought I’d like you,” Sebastian said, pushing his laptop to the side to accept the coffee.

“Same,” Cameron mused, putting his cup down and bustling around to snoop the nurse’s notes. “Though if he stays in here for another day, I’m going to be forced to tell Angie and David.”

Sebastian grimaced. He’d convinced Cameron, after a long and exhausting debate, to keep Will’s parents in the dark until he at least woke up. But the longer that his condition lingered, the harder it was getting to keep him on the side of secrecy.

“Ras says he’ll wake up today, if you can believe it,” Cameron mused, skimming a chart of notes. He made a clicking sound with his teeth.

Sebastian looked back over at Will who had, as of last night, been sleeping without that terrible rattle in his chest. “About time.”

“I dunno,” a chilling voice said from the doorway. “I think the bastard looks perfect right where he is.”

Ice ran through Sebastian’s veins.

Roy was standing in the doorway. He looked nothing like the enraged bull that Will had taunted almost a month ago. Today he was a blade in businesswear, his suit lines crisp, his red tie speared with a jeweled pin with the Joja ‘j’ right in the middle. He looked fresh off of a board meeting and held a bundle of yellow roses with a ‘get well soon’ balloon in the middle.

Cameron dropped the chart, the clipboard rattling against the ball chain that attached it to the hospital bed.

“Roy,” he whispered.

“Cam,” Roy replied, “you’re looking well. I see your hoodlum friend can't say the same.” He let out a tsking sound as he walked in, allowing the door to shut behind him. Sebastian’s stomach felt like a water balloon. What was he doing here? How had he known where to find them? It was a county hospital, not a city one. How had he located them?

“Why are you here?” Cameron asked, stepping up. Sebastian reached over and hit the buzzer on the side of Will’s bed for the nurse.

“What?” Roy asked in mock shock. “I’ve missed you, darling. You leave without a word,” he crossed over, putting the flowers down on the bedside table, “you don’t call,” he gave him a false pout, “you don’t write. It’s honestly very upsetting.”

“You need to go,” Sebastian said.

Roy raised an eyebrow at him. Cameron tried to block his view but Roy moved like a snake, snagging Cameron’s wrist. “Oh no, you don’t, darling. We have unfinished business.”

Cameron twisted out of the grip and Will groaned from the bed. Sebastian snapped his eyes over. Will was stirring. He swallowed and looked back up. Where was the nurse? He hit the buzzer again.

“It goes like this,” Roy said, oily voice dripping with malice. “You return home. You complete your contracts. In exchange? I tell the police escort that I have waiting downstairs that I was mistaken about the person in that bed.”

“Don’t listen to him, Cam,” Sebastian said, hitting the buzzer a third time.

“Oh, yes,” Roy said, eyes locked on Cameron’s face. “Ignore me, Cameron. Ignore me and you will get to see your friends here arrested for breaking and entering, destruction of property, illegal access to a computer, and oh, I’m sure we can figure out what else they are guilty of.”

Cameron swallowed and looked back at Sebastian, then Will.

“Don’t do it,” Sebastian said, eyes wide. He gripped Will’s hand, begging him to wake up, to get up and fix this. He fixed everything. He was supposed to be the one to save them from the monsters, not sleep like a log while the monster waltzed in to trash talk.

“Cameron,” Roy said, his voice dangerous. “You’ve seen what happens to people who have done less. You might have had your dramatic cold feet, but did you really think that a bully boy and a few weeks apart were enough to get rid of me?” He leaned forward and whispered low, but not so low that Sebastian couldn’t hear him. “I. Own. You.”

Sebastian wanted to throw up. Then the door to the room opened and a nurse appeared.

“You called for a nurse?”

Sebastian sank in relief, opened his mouth to speak when Cameron interrupted him.

“Yes,” he said, his voice faint. “Is the cafeteria open?”

She frowned, her face going from concerned to irritated. Sebastian stared at him, but Cameron didn't face him.

“Sir. The call button is for patient emergencies. Yes. Hours are from 8 until 5. Now if you’ll excuse me, there is work to do.” She turned and marched out.

Sebastian felt like his feet turned to stone. He tried to speak. Tried to say something. Anything to keep what he was seeing from happening.

But he couldn’t find the words and Will remained asleep as Roy escorted a tight-lipped Cameron out of the room, his hand wrapped around the back of his neck like a cuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments, kudos, bookmarks, and word of mouth sharing has meant the world. I love when a reader come talk to me over on [my Tumblr](https://dracoangelicawritesfanfiction.tumblr.com/)! Sometimes I post commentary about in-progress chapters and general shenanigans.
> 
> Thank you so much to [TurtleTotem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleTotem/profile) and [GingerDelight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/profile). Without you two to keep me on track every week and take this chapter from my shaking hands on Saturday, I wouldn't be able to put out such quality stuff. Thank you, both. T_T
> 
> Next update will be January 27th, 2018 between 8-10pm CST. See you then!


	46. Thorns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No starfruits were harmed in the writing of this chapter.

From The Book of Yoba:  
_Before time there was only the endless golden light. The light called out to itself...'Yoba'. Yoba wanted more. Yoba swirled the golden light into a vortex. Yoba swirled and swirled until a hole formed in the eye of the vortex. From this hole sprung a seed. Yoba smoothed the golden light. Yoba smoothed and smoothed, and the light became soil. Into this soil, Yoba planted the seed. The seed sprouted, and behold! A vine sprung skyward, twisting and probing, casting a writhing shadow onto the golden void. After 11 days, the vine bore fruit. Yoba, with knowing wisdom, peeled the tough skin off the fruit and saw that the world was inside. And so that is how the world came to be._

William never understood how the world could start from light when he always lived in darkness.

Darkness when he was asleep.

Grey when he was awake.

Light was the result of work and effort, never something that just  _was_.

Yet here he stood, confused, in the field surrounded by a type of fruit that he'd only ever seen in sketches on the walls of the Community Center. Stardrops. Thousands and thousands of little glowing Stardrops. They were beautiful and bright. He looked around and then felt fabric upon his skin and looked down. He was wearing a white tunic with matching trousers. The fabric was linen spun from flax, so delicate that it snagged on the skin of his hands. He felt an embroidered symbol on his shoulder—the bent arms of Yoba.

"It seems we meet again, Farmer William."

William turned to see Ras, his dark hat and black robes standing out among the fruits and bright sunshine.

Was this a dream?

"Did I die, Ras?"

Rasmodius didn't answer him, instead crossed over and met his eyes. Then, without warning, he snapped a fist out and punched him in the face.

The pain was blinding. William stumbled backwards, cupping his eye.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, MAN?"

"You felt that? Good. Means you're alive," Ras said, unconcerned at William's anger. William glared out of his good eye, then pulled his hand away, fist balling.

"You can't answer a simple question?"

"Pain is the best teacher you have, Farmer. Now come. Because of your little stunt, we don't have much time."

William glared and dropped his hand. He followed the wizard through the field. Ras walked with purpose, the vines swaying and rustling, the fruits swinging. His boots dug into fertile soil, the ground soft under their feet. Beside them in the manicured rows, the Stardrops glowed.

"Where are we?" William asked, looking around the vast field. He'd never seen such a full harvest of fruits. They were everywhere, millions of them gleaming and glowing against the pale blue sky. Illumination glinted from within the peels, as if they all contained something incandescent. The sky was white and didn’t show a cloud, but when William scanned his eyes up, he couldn't see the sun.

"We are on the Yoba-plane. I brought you here so that you would remember your mission. You have lost sight of your goal."

William frowned. "I didn't lose sight. Losing sight implies that you can find the da—" he coughed, the words burning his mouth. Ras looked at him sideways.

"You are on the holiest of astral planes, Farmer William. It would do you well to speak respectfully while we tarry here."

"Why the—" He frowned and re-calibrated his speech. "Why did you bring me here and not say, I dunno, a honkytonk plane instead?"

Ras rolled his eyes. "Boy, you almost died. Your soul lingers near the gates. Between the efforts of those who love you and my own arcane mysteries, we pulled you back. But you still can't seem to wake. I am sensing movement from our enemies while we are weak."

"These enemies. It's the one thing I can't wrap my head around," William said. They walked in seemingly no general direction through the endless field of fruit. "Why? Why do all this? How is it going to make a corporation that much stronger? There are laws of business, of supply and demand. All sorts of non-mojo methods to get what they want."

"Power makes all people thirsty," Ras said, pausing.

William stopped and looked at what had made Ras freeze. The wizard was leaning over a fruit. William looked at it and felt his heart race. Before he'd thought all the fruits were the same. All pulsing stars on a vine. Now though, he could see that this fruit had a face on it; a small, perfectly formed, miniature face.

William's face.

The leaves were narrow and close to the stalk. The peel was decorated in small symbols, little tiny blue colored runes. The fruit-William's eyes were closed. It glowed; incandescent brilliance.

"What is this?" William asked, eyes locked onto the fruit that shared his face.

"This is your soul," Rasmodius said, his eyes on William. "This is why you must be the one to rescue the altar."

"I don't understand," William said, shaking his head, unable to mesh that beautiful plant with its beaming light to how he saw himself. "It can't be me."

"You see with your eyes that it has your face. Look around. You will find no other fruit quite like this one."

"It's not true," William said.

Rasmodius gave him a sympathetic look, then knelt down and pulled back the soil. William knelt next to him and then stared in horror at the stalk.

Where the fruit was golden and glowing, bright and shining, the stalk was withering. There were thorns around it, each one reaching and growing around the base.

"Addiction," Rasmodius said softly, pointing at one choking vine. He pointed at another. "Hatred. This one is guilt. And this one is pride."

William felt sick. He reached out, intending to unwrap the plant, to free it from the thorns. Yet the moment he let his skin brush against one of the thorny fibers, pain shot through his hand. He shouted and pulled back. Rasmodius gave him sympathetic eyes.

"Why did you let me touch it if you knew it would hurt!?" William snapped, rubbing his fingers.

"Because, Farmer William, you are the child that must burn himself to know a stove is hot."

"That's—" he was going to say  _bullshit_  but he couldn't work the angry words out of his mouth. He coughed and as he did, a thorn sprouted on the vine, tiny and narrow but cutting into the plant.

"You choke yourself," Ras said softly, "with your anger. With your inability to forgive. With the rage and the guilt you hold within."

William glared at him and then looked at the plant, then at the others around it.

There were lights in all of them, but Rasmodius was right. William's stalk  _was_  different. Instead of a breezy and lackadaisical sway to the vine, it was rigid and stiff, the soul fruit growing higher than those around it. He tried to squint, to see if he could identify faces, but none of them seemed to have an image.

"Why?" he whispered, looking at the strange plant. "Why does it look different?"

"Because," Rasmodius said. “Because  _you_  are different."

"No," William said, shaking his head. "I'm not. That's a lie. I'm not any different than anyone else."

"You have survived more hardship than most your age."

William glared at him, frustration and fury roiling. "Yeah? So? Anyone who went through that war had to survive the same amount of hardship."

"You came out of it and still want to help others. You—"

"You're gonna make me grow another one of those thorns, old man," William growled. Rasmodius regarded him, his brow furrowed. William looked down at the soul fruit. "Don't you dare feed me any manure like that whole experience in Gotoro was some sort of gift of the Almighty Yoba to build up my character. Don't you even try it."

"Without what you have survived, you wouldn't be able to take on what is to come."

William's hand snapped fast and hard, fisting around the collar of Ras's lapel, jerking his face close to the wizard's, moving him so fast his black Stetson hat fell off his head to the ground.

"What do you know about what is to  _come_?" William snarled.

Ras stared at him. Unruffled despite the grasp.

"I know that you must overcome this rage, boy. You must face your demons and conquer them so that you may save us all."

William dropped him, disgusted. "Save you? LOOK AT ME, RAS! I can't even save myself!"

Rasmodius picked up his hat, dusted it off, then replaced it on his head.

"See the state of your soul, Farmer William. The vines that choke it are rooted from within. You can loosen your grip if only you change your thinking. You can free your soul from the bonds you forged. But no one can do it for you."

William glared at him, then knelt down to study his soul plant.

It was coiled and bent, as though it had held those thorns and choking vines for a long time. William reached down and pulled back the sleeves of the white tunic.

His arms were bare. Bares skin with nothing to hide the lines of scars and track marks. His fists were naked, his fingertips pale and smooth. He turned his palms over and then looked down at the plant.

Barbed wire thorns, each one digging into green vine, the punctures weeping small, glowing green trails of fluid, old lines of the stuff dried on the black vines. There were thin cuts and deep ones, scratches and wooded-over spots that looked as though they'd received the marks over and over and over again.

He swallowed but forced himself to stare at it. To take it in. To remember.

"Let us pray that this sinks in," Ras said grimly. William wiped moisture from the corner of his eyes, skimming his index fingers underneath them and standing. "You will return to our world now. Our plane. As soon as you are able, come to my tower and we will travel once more here. I think I know how we can locate this altar despite the effort of our enemies to shield its location."

"How do I get out of here?" William asked.

"Why, it's simple my boy. Just wake up."

*

It was only half an hour after Cameron had walked out with Roy in his misguided attempt at nobility that Will finally woke up for good. Sebastian had paced the room for fifteen of those minutes, scrambling with what to do. Was Cameron going to be okay? Why the hell had he thrown himself on the sword that way? Was stupid self-sacrifice just something they taught in the military? He spent five of them texting Cam's phone with a demand that he contact him as soon as it was safe. Three minutes were devoted to counting and recounting his cigarettes. The last seven he wasted in nerve-wracked anxiety about what he should do.

He was sitting next to Will's hospital bed, fingers digging in his hair, trying to resist the urge to leave the hospital campus to smoke—he'd have to walk all the way down to a little park just for the privilege on the non-smoking grounds—when the beeping of the heart monitor changed.

It was an increase in speed, an increase in tempo, an increase in life. Sebastian looked up hopefully and saw Will's eyes moving behind his lids. Then those lids peeled open to reveal blue eyes, vague and unfocused.

Sebastian stood, leaning forward, hands clasping Will's.

"Will?"

"Yup," Will said, voice raspy and hoarse from lack of use. He rubbed his own face and yawned, as if he'd been taking a long nap instead of being passed out in a drug-induced state of unconsciousness.

Sebastian stared at him. He'd replayed this scenario in his mind, running it over like a simulation: What he was going to do when Will woke up.

He'd thought maybe he'd yell at him for scaring them all so badly, but then, yelling had been what had gotten them into this mess, hadn't it? Then he thought perhaps he should throw himself across his chest and cry. But the very act of planning to cry seemed to take away the ability to perform the action. Now that it was real, that Will was truly awake and speaking, Sebastian just found himself sinking down next to him on the hospital bed, clinging to Will's hand.

"Do you remember what happened?" Sebastian asked him.

A flash of guilt and deep pain came over Will's face. It was raw. More emotion than Sebastian usually could get out of him on a good day. He looked away, his blue eyes focusing on the wall. Sebastian squeezed his hand, trying to prompt him to speak. Finally, after a deep swallow, Will whispered, "Got stupid."

Sebastian let out a breath and then crawled closer onto the hospital bed. The only thing Will was attached to was an IV pole, the catheter, and some leads to a machine. Sebastian leaned in, wrapping his arms around Will's barrel of a chest.

"Will, you almost died," Sebastian whispered.

Will let out a breath. "They call psych?"

"Yes. The addiction counselors. Cam, he managed—" Sebastian choked, his fear for Cameron suddenly bursting through. Will wrapped his non-tethered arm around Sebastian and for one ridiculous moment, he felt relieved. It was illogical. William was stuck in a hospital bed. He would probably be in bad shape for days yet after what he'd done. Yet here Sebastian was, coiled like a child against him, ready to spill out all the things he was scared of.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Will needed someone else to take care of  _him_  this time. Sebastian swallowed and tried to pull back then, but Will locked his arms in, keeping Sebastian in place.

"Stay," Will said.

"You don't need this right now," Sebastian said, trying to keep it together. “You just woke up. And you—"

Will jerked him back down, stronger than he had any right to be after what he'd been through. Sebastian gasped, pressed against his chest.

"Part of our problems," Will said, his chest rumbling against Sebastian's ear, "is that I don't tell you what I need. And right now, I need this. So. Talk. What happened?"

What had happened? Where to start. Should he start with how scared he'd been? Should he start with the fact that William had relapsed after one argument? What about the fact that the reason they'd argued in the first place was because Will had hurt himself? And he'd hurt himself because of this stupid quest that they were all on and that no one knew how to solve really. Except oh yeah, the big bad villain Roy, Will's current ex's evil ex – and if that wasn't ex-squared, then what was – was now back in play like a bad game module.

"I'm glad you're okay,” Sebastian said.

"I'm not okay."

Sebastian sighed and looked up at him but Will wasn't smirking his contrary grin.

"You know what I meant."

Will closed his eyes and leaned back in the bed. "No, Bastian, I mean it. I'm  _not_  okay."

"You're alive," Sebastian said softly. “That's okay enough for me."

Will opened his eyes. Icy gaze locked. Sebastian stared back at him. Will looked like he was trying to telepathically shove some type of understanding into Sebastian's brain and he let out a breath when Sebastian clearly couldn't pick the thoughts out of mid air. Finally, after seconds that felt like hours, Will said, " _Okay_  people don't do what I did."

"I didn't say you were perfect," Sebastian said, starting to sit up. Will tightened his grip, then reluctantly loosened it. Sebastian frowned, let out a sigh of surrender, and laid his head back down, cheek to Will's hospital gown. Will stiffened then relaxed, wrapping his arms around him.

Clingy for someone so intent on telling him to fuck off five days ago. Sebastian stored it away for later.

"I'm  _not—"_

"You're not  _okay,_  I get it," Sebastian repeated back. "Fine. But I'm still glad you woke up, so accept that, you stubborn jerk."

"I am a jerk. I deserve that."

Sebastian raised his head. "Do you want me to yell at you or something?"

"You might as well."

Sebastian narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"Because of what I did. I..." Will let out a slow breath. Sebastian waited him out and finally, like pulling teeth, the words came. "I relapsed. Hard. And I scared you. I jeopardized the mission. And I've let you all down." He closed his eyes and then met Sebastian's. "I'm sorry, Sebastian. It was wrong. And... and I'm really sorry."

"You forgot the most important part of that."

Will blinked, confused, then frowned, replaying what he'd said. Sebastian rolled his eyes and reached up, cupping Will's whiskered cheeks. "You almost killed yourself with that stunt, Will. You should be sorry you almost died."

Will rubbed his hand down Sebastian's back, then rested it on his hip. After a moment Will closed his eyes again, squeezed Sebastian's side and said, "Sorry."

Sebastian felt the lie of the words like an error code. It was so subtle. To anyone else, it might have sounded like he meant it. Yet... something in the easy way he'd said it made it ring false. Sebastian sighed and shifted, laying his head back down on Will's chest. Will relaxed again.

Interesting.

Sebastian began to think furiously. He listed what he knew about Will from all the moments they'd spent, lining events up in his mind. From the time they met, the shaky start to their secret trysts to the weeks living together. He lined them up. Compiled them in his brain.

Will who picked fights at bars for people he didn't know. Who moved away from the city to become a farmer. Who worked hard yet liked to participate in small town life. Who made friends with people as easily as breathing. Who never seemed afraid of anything but himself. A man who had scars on his outside to match the ones he felt inside. A man who seemed to present a confident heroic figure and yet who, in these private and broken moments gave all the signs of someone who was deeply unhappy.

Sebastian bit his lip then said, "Will, you know what I was thinking when I saw you on the ground, not breathing?"

"That you were right to hold yourself back?"

Sebastian flinched, looking up at him. "What?"

"That you were smart to protect yourself from me," Will said, his voice a whisper. “Because you knew in the back of your head that I would hurt you."

"No!" Sebastian said, horrified. He swallowed the pain that erupted from those words. "Will, no. I thought that I would never get over it if you didn't wake up. That I wish I'd told you..." he swallowed, the words not feeling like enough, so difficult to form and to just  _say_.

"Told me?" Will asked.

Sebastian swallowed. He'd not imagined it like this. He's wanted to say the words so many times. Tried to figure out how and where. It was so easy for Will to just  _say them_. To say 'I Love You' and  _mean_  it so fiercely, to just know it and not question it. To own it. Yet even here, in this moment, even though he felt it, had thought it many times while Will was laying there, he’d wanted a moment where it would mean something.

He'd even imagined how he'd do it. He'd wait for Will to take a break from searching the mines, drive him back up to that spot he drove to all the time, pull him close on the edge of the overlook ,and whisper them. Let Will hear his heart underneath the moon in his favorite spot. Let him stand with him on the edge of the world and finally tell him the way he felt. Maybe if they were there, it would feel like enough instead of just a parrot back of words Will would say perfectly.

"Told you how important you are," Sebastian whispered.

Will's hands were heavy and God, why was he just laying here like this. Cameron was already half way to Zuzu. What were they going to do? Will didn't even know...

"I understand if... after this... you regret it."

Sebastian looked up at him and then narrowed his eyes, shifting to straddle his waist. He dug his fingers into Will's shoulders, pressing a deep kiss against his dry and chapped lips. He kissed him hard, and only after he'd heard the heart monitor start to beep did he pull back. "I love you, you moron," he said, panting. Will blinked at him.

"You do?"

"Yes!" Sebastian said, frustrated. "But I wanted to tell you... when it was a good time!" Will looked stunned. Sebastian sank back on Will's thighs. Sebastian stared at him, disbelief in his voice. "Did you really think that I didn't?"

"Well... I pushed so much." He began to tick off fingers. "First there was dating me, then coming out, and just two weeks ago... moving in." Will let his hand drop. "I... wondered if you were just…" He hesitated as if hearing how dumb it all sounded, but then finished. "Just putting up with me."

Sebastian sighed, frustrated. "Will, I don't know if you've met me, but..." He took his wrists. "I have a tendency to be a bit... nervous around people. I need to be pushed. I like that I always know where I stand with you."

Will slowly nodded. Then looked around. "You know, I have to say, I'm shocked we've been able to talk so much without Cam coming into to bust through and yell at me. He'd never have let me go this long without a dressing down."

At Cam's name, Sebastian felt all the blood rush out of his face.

"Yeah. Cameron. About that..."

*

The nurses were annoyed when they were forced to remove his catheters. William didn't care. They wanted him to stay under care for three extra days for a psych eval but as they did not have his consent, he slammed down Self-Discharge like a dead can of beer.

He got a lecture about leaving against medical advice and how the hospital wasn't responsible if something happened, yada yada yada.

"Patient's rights, sweetheart," he said coolly to the Charge Nurse who'd been the third wave of resistance to his exit strategy. She'd thrown her hands up and slapped down a consent form, standing over him with hawkish intent as he scratched his name across the dotted line. He could feel Sebastian's eyes on him in near awe as he dressed, feeling woozy and shaky but too driven after the vision he'd gotten from Ras's little dream-walkabout.

Roy had hunted Cam down for a  _reason_. He knew something, and Ras was too close to the truth. Before he'd lost his damn mind to one freaking bad day, William and Sebastian had been in the  _abandoned_  work station. There had been  _clues_  there but William had been so overworked, exhausted and emotionally frazzled at the time he hadn't been able to process it.

Still, less than an hour later, they were outside of the hospital, folded into The Little Engine That Could and chugging back to Pelican as fast as the lawn mower motor could take them.

"Are you tired?" Sebastian asked him as William stared out of the window.

His first instinct was to lie and say,  _no, he felt fine_  because a knee jerk reaction was what it was. But that hadn't worked and while he was stupid, he was a stupid that learned from his burnt hands.

The entire relapse had been a big ass burn. One he would think about later when he wasn't trying to stop an evil corporation from whatever scheming they were up to. What was the question again? Was he tired?

"Yeah."

Sebastian pulled off at the next exit and a few moments later, ordered coffee from a drive-thru. William blinked when Sebastian handed over the cup and nodded his thanks. It was black, just the way he liked it. William sipped it as Sebastian steered them back on the road. They sat in silence, Sebastian moving with an absent ease, lost in his own thoughts. It was like that with him; thinking about something so serious he didn't even notice when he was being silent. Will drank the coffee, waited until they were back on the interstate back towards Pelican Town before asking, "What's on your mind?"

Sebastian glanced over at him, surprised, then leaned back, his hands sliding down to rest on the bottom of the wheel.

"Well, I've been going over the exported numbers from the Joja shipment archives. They've increased their soda output by a ton. They're all wrapped with an ad for that new health drink that Cameron is helping them launch. Weird that they are so focused on Cameron being their spokesperson. Yet, it's just a drink. Why be this intent on a product launch and how does it connect to this altar that we've been hunting?"

William tried to think about it. Why someone would care this much. What the big deal could be. But he'd spent all his energy just getting in the car.

"I really just... don't know," he finally admitted, eyes ahead of them on the road.

Sebastian nodded, frustrated, then reached over. William blinked, surprised to see him reaching for his hand.

"Don't worry," Sebastian said, focusing on the road, his other hand on the wheel. "We'll figure it out."

*

Sebastian parked Dem's car at the end of the woods and they trooped up to Ras's tower. Yet, when they neared the door, William froze, staring at it.

"I think I should go in alone," he said.

Sebastian bit his lip but then let out a breath.

"Okay. I'll be right here if you need me."

Sebastian watched as Will went inside, knowing that whatever he was dealing with was 100% relevant to the addiction and this 'chosen one' bullshit. He went back down to the car, only to have his phone go off. He was surprised. Usually signal around the Wizard's tower was awful. He leaned against the hood and answered the phone, only to realize that... it was a video call.

It wasn't the average video call. Usually someone was facing a camera, talking at it. Instead all Sebastian could see was a strange lab, one that looked almost identical to the one he and William had stumbled upon in the caves. The camera was at an angle, and when Sebastian squinted, he realized that it was at an angle to a  _mirror_ , which was what was showing him the lab. He rushed to his car, turned on his laptop and fired up the recording software. He'd just managed to plug the phone in when he made out voices on the call.

"And then what, Roy?" Cameron was asking, fear in his voice. "You add that juice to the new formula and then what?"

"Then they can't say no to it. It's the perfect addiction. And you're going to be running the study on side effects."

"You're crazy, Roy," Cameron whispered. “You're taking something so—"

The audio shifted and cut off for a moment.

Sebastian swallowed, his heart in his throat. What was he taking? What was it that Roy had found? Sebastian turned his head towards the wizard's tower and then back at the recording on the screen.

His eyes widened when the phone shifted and he saw the glowing Stardrop in the middle of the testing zone.

*

William walked into Ras's tower and slowed. The lights were usually dim. Ras was sitting in a perfect lotus position in the middle of his magical circle. Will hesitated only to see one of the Junimos come toddling forward. It held a small bundle, and bounced up and down excitedly.

He squatted, picking up the bundle. It was a wrapped potion. He frowned and then read the note that accompanied it.

_"Farmer William."_

Will raised his eyes to look at Ras in the circle who again, was still as a statue. He looked back down at the letter.

" _The potion that is in this bottle will help you return to yourself before your ill-fated overdose. It will restore your stamina and give you the health you need to complete the tasks we have in front of us. However, with all things, there is a price. When you drink this potion, you will have three sunrises before it fades and you will feel three times the amount of pain and exhaustion that you are currently experiencing. If you are foolish enough to overuse the opioid substances again, you will die instantly. The amount of hangover from taking this could also damage you irreparably. Yet, if you take this, you will surely be able to at least have the energy you need to complete this task. If you consent, drink it and join me in the circle to show you the rest of what you must do. If you do not, return the potion to the Jumino."_

Will stared down at the vial. It was small. Maybe an ounce. Yet, wasn't that more than he'd needed to nearly die from overdose? He swallowed, then looked down at the small creature. It was so strange and yet adorable, its little face anxious, the leaf that sprouted from its round body resembling the stem of an apple.

He exhaled, uncorked the vial and drank. Then stepped forward and shivered as Rasmodius's shield walls encased him.

The potion worked fast, chasing out pain, exhaustion and for the first time in weeks, he felt like his head was completely clear.

When he sat down and closed his eyes, the tower around them faded and he was back on the Yoba Plane.

*

Sebastian burst into the wizard tower after he was sure he had the recording. He had to tell Ras. He had to tell Will.

He stepped in and froze, because the room was empty... nothing there but the glow of Ras's fire.

*

William opened his eyes and he was back in those white robes, his skin bare of any tattoos. He turned and saw that Rasmodius was waiting for him.

For once, they didn't talk to one another. William felt the potion coursing through his body. He followed Ras, passing through the giant field of beautiful soul fruits. He did look at them as he passed. Before he'd thought they were all the same, but now he could see that wasn't the case. Each one was a little different. That one had an extra star-point. That one had one less. That peel was matte, and that one was glossy. Yet all of them glowed with the inner light; all of them had different diseases to their leaves and stalks. All of them were smaller than the one Rasmodius had identified as his own and none were as bright.

They walked in the field until the horizon started to change. William wasn't sure exactly how long that horizon had been the same but he felt the shift in light as they neared a huge root. It cast a shadow in the realm of light. It was a stalk, bigger than a building, that dug into the earth and then scraped the sky.

Ras looked at him, then shifted his staff to a strap that he fastened to his back. He and William began to climb, and climb, their limbs never growing tired, their fingers never scraping against the woody vine of the stalk. William wanted to ask questions but he felt compelled to move, compelled to see this sight that Rasmodius had wanted him to witness.

It felt like minutes, or maybe it had been hours. Perhaps he and Rasmodius had been climbing for days. He didn't hunger or thirst, he didn't feel fatigue. Just the need to see what was at the top of this vine.

Their progress moved in inches, then in miles. Until at one point, William turned his head and saw that the endless field of light was so far below them that all it resembled was a carpet of blazing illumination. He turned his head up and finished climbing, hand over hand.

When they finally reached a landing, William shielded his face and then squinted through his fingers.

Because rotating on an altar, was the earth.

Ras stood next to him, gazing as well. The earth was moving slowly and they could see everything, from the long line of mountains over continents, stringy rivers, and finally huge stretches of landmass over sapphire-toned water. It looked like a picture he'd seen in textbooks in high school. William swallowed, trying to understand this weird fever dream he'd found himself in. Because it had to be a fever dream, he thought, eyes wide. He couldn't really be on the top of the world vine that had sprouted the earth like its own huge fruit.

"Look," Rasmodius said softly, pointing, not at the slowly spinning ball but at the base. William followed his gaze.

Underneath their world, in a patch of rich soil grew a cluster of little Stardrops, each one eerily perfect compared to the small flaws on all the fruits below in the vast field. They approached and then froze, an invisible barrier keeping them back.

"Are they baby souls?" William asked, confused.

"No," Ras said. "They are the true  _seeds_  of the world. Stardrop. The rarest and most precious gift that our god has ever brought us. If one eats those fruits, they are permanently healthier and more fit than they were before. Changed on the spiritual level.”

William squinted into the dark earth. Something was...wrong. He frowned and pressed against the barrier. There was no light other than the shining of the Stardrop. That and a jagged hole that was set in the side of the vine. Will grabbed Ras's arm.

"Look."

Rasmodius’s face transformed from his calm and patient mien to one of horrified shock… William understood. The light that came from the hole was nothing like the warm soul-fire that seemed to imbue everything on the sacred plane. It was the florescent and weak strobe lights of a corporate office. They pressed against the barrier and could plainly see that it lead directly into a sterile and gleaming chrome science lab.

A lab with the Joja logo on the walls.

"It's too late," William whispered. "They have it."

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your continued support! If you enjoyed what you read, please leave a comment or a kudo or tell a friend!  
> If you want more Cloudburst information, Please go to my [Tumblr](https://dracoangelicawritesfanfiction.tumblr.com/) and follow for behind the scenes commentary, announcements of any changes to the schedule and updates on the weekly chapter! I love to interact with you guys whenever I can.
> 
> Thanks as always to the magnificent [TurtleTotem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleTotem/works) who actually helped TITLE this chapter and to [GingerDelight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/works) who has talked me off the edge all week. I have Top A+ Tier betas who are worth more than all the starfruit in the valley. Every week they take the steaming pile of garbage from my hands, peel back the layers and point out that I don't suck.
> 
> Final thoughts for the week: Four more chapters to go, friends.
> 
> We all are sad when our fanfics end, but you can take heart because I am putting out another long-fic with [GingerDelight](https://ginger-delight-writes.tumblr.com/) that will begin posting April 7th. If you want to be informed of the status of that project, go ahead and subscribe to either me or Ginger on AO3 or on Tumblr for updates.
> 
> Cloudburst Chapter 47 will post Saturday, February 3rd, 2018 between 8-10pm CST.  
> Until Next week!


	47. Die Hard in a Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which someone from the cast must give their best 1980s Bruce Willis impression.

When Sebastian was sixteen, he and Sam had discovered _Solarion Chronicles: The Game_ in a bargain bin at Pierre’s for 50% off.

Sebastian had taken it over to Sam’s that night and they spent hours swapping cards to create new scenarios over and over. Sam always liked playing the Warrior and Sebastian obligingly took the role as the wizard—magic and mayhem to Sam’s aggressive door beat downs. There were so many variations of campaigns. Sometimes, they’d toss them all into a pile and draw the cards randomly, coming up with solutions for the most off-the-wall situations. Long nights were spent in serious discussion on best game play. For example, If the bad guys got this tower, how could they approach? If they had to break down a door, what magic items could they use on one side or another? If they combined the following party, how quickly could they beat the modules?

Solarion seemed like the type of game that never had a true ending, even when you won. There was always a new area or combinations of the cards that would let you try again. The only time you truly lost Solarion was when you gave up.

He clung to that belief when things were hard. When Will had been in the ambulance. When Sam had stopped talking to him for those awful few months. And now once more when Will and Ras reappeared out of thin air, grim and with despair clinging to them like a cloak. He’d been frightened when they were gone but as he sat down, listening to Will grimly recap what they’d seen, he felt himself calm. He began to run over all the secondary plans he’d been collecting to run in the background of his mind. He added in the new details that Will gave him, and calculated the time it would take to locate Cameron. He opened his mouth to offer his solution when Ras threw his staff against the wall, frustrated.

“It’s all lost,” Rasmodius announced, sinking into a stool near his bookshelves. “Had we not the delay of fixing _you_ , Farmer—”

“We couldn’t find the base in the first place, Ras!” William snapped. “I was down in those mines for _weeks_ —”

“Guys,” Sebastian said.

“Weeks of _nothing_!” Rasmodius snapped. “I might as well have asked Gunther to go down there instead!”

“Then you should have!” William yelled back, furious. “I took this on because of your ‘chosen one’ bullshit!”

“Guys,” Sebastian tried again.

“You _are_ the chosen one here!” Rasmodius snarled, jumping to his feet. “A Chosen pain in the ass!”

“ _Welcome to the club_ ,” William snarled back.

Sebastian looked around the room and picked up the large wooden oar that Rasmodius used to stir his cauldron. He swung, slamming it against the big, cast iron pot. The sound was loud and shut down the escalating argument.

“Guys!” he shouted, finally getting the two angry men to turn and look at him. “Calm down. We aren’t screwed yet.”

They stared at him and Sebastian could tell neither of the two alpha-dicks believed him. He rolled his eyes then turned towards his bag, pulling out the tablet that he’d loaded Cameron’s video on.

William tensed when Cameron came on the screen. Both of them watched with laser focus as Roy demonstrated the Stardrops, and when Cam somehow hid the phone without anyone noticing.

“Son of a bitch,” Will muttered. “That’s Cam alright.”

For a whiny, crying, petty, and dramatic queen, the guy had shown true courage getting that video out. The grainy footage showed Roy and the stolen Stardrops. As it played, Sebastian pointed at different areas. “Look, see? We know what this is. We saw the abandoned workspace. This one is just bigger. AND, while you two were off playing interstellar travel, I was checking the notes I got when Will and I saw the abandoned work room. We can stop them.” At their skeptical look he pressed on, pointing to the stills that he’d taken from Cameron’s video. “They aren’t done testing this product. They have to at least have that finalized before they can head to mass production and distribution. We still have time.”

“No offense, Sebastian,” Ras said, in a tone that implied offense was incoming, “but you are not one with the divine arts and—”

“You might know magic, Rasmodius,” Sebastian interrupted, scrolling through the screens, “but I know technology and all its limitations. Cameron got a video out and with geotracking, he gave me their position. So unlike before, we actually _know_ where the jerks are this time.”

They both stared at him in awe.

“Look,” Sebastian said, already putting the coordinates into the program. “They _are_ in those mines. I can compile a map from these coordinates and get us there. As for the depth, well, once in the cave, I can find them through tracking. We can go down right now and take them on.”

Will grinned, that excited smile that meant he wanted to go take on the world. Rasmodius nodded carefully before turning back towards his books.

“Show us what you’ve got,” Will said, and Sebastian complied, laying out the maps, laying out different paths in and out of the area. Will focused on it and Sebastian felt himself getting excited. Sure, it was intimidating. Three of them versus an entire team of Joja-goons, but then, they had to go in and stop them. It was their only option. Ras finally nodded at the maps and rubbed his hands together.

“As enthused as I am that we have a plan of attack, you two should get some rest before we go.”

“But—” Will started to protest.

Sebastian glanced over at Will and realized with a jolt that he was looking way more energetic and healthy than he had when they’d arrived. His color was better. He stood taller and didn’t sway. In the car on their way up, his eyes had been dull and he looked as though he was fighting sleep. Now he was restless, constantly moving. The doctors had predicted it would take weeks for Will to feel better and be back up to one hundred percent. How was it possible? Yet here he was, standing tall and proud again. Sebastian narrowed his eyes and looked thoughtfully at Ras.

“We attack at midnight,” Ras declared. “I’ll have some things for the two of you to arm yourselves with.”

Sebastian’s heart pounded faster. So Ras wasn’t going to block him on coming along. He braced himself when Will picked up on the plan.

“The hell? No way, Sparkletoes. I go in alone.”

“No,” Sebastian said, shaking as he said it. “I’m going with you.”

William whipped his head around, eyes wide. “The hell you are.”

“I am!” Sebastian insisted. “I have the maps. I can access the computers. If they are really using the Stardrops to do something nefarious, then the only one with the ability to turn off the machine is me.”

“If the machine is busted to fucking shrapnel, it won’t work. Don’t need an off switch to shut it down, Bastian.”

“You’ll need me. I can be useful!”

“A – it’s too dangerous. B – you _don’t_ actually know what kind of technology they are using Bastian, so no, you can’t, and C – you could get _hurt_. No. I won’t allow it.”

Fury boiled up and Sebastian glared at him.

“You don’t get to make that call.”

“When I hauled ass down to the mines because you were too stupid—” Will started to say.

“It’s different this time!” Sebastian snapped. “I’m going _with_ you. We’ll work together and it’ll be fine.”

“No,” William growled, “you’re not. Give me the maps and I’ll finish this up.”

“Not a chance,” Sebastian snapped.

Rasmodius looked between the two and sighed, then turned towards the bookshelf. He pulled down a tome and crossed between the two men, handing the dusty volume to Sebastian.

“Here,” Ras said. “Educate yourself on Stardrops. I’d show you personally, but William and I have tarried long enough on the Yoba Plane.”

“Wait, there was a book that could have told me all that stuff?” Will said, momentarily distracted from glaring a hole in Sebastian to prove his superiority. Sebastian appreciated it because fighting with Will made his knees buckle. He looked down at the book.

“If I thought you were able to read something and understand it with the same clarity as being shown, Farmer, I would have sat you down in front of several books before now,” Ras said, censor in his voice. “Alas, I fear that would have been a waste of paper.”

Will scoffed but Sebastian hid a smile. Ras had Will’s number all right.

“In any case, we have hours to go. The two of you can borrow my guest room while I prepare the tools you’ll need to return the Stardrops to their proper home. Then we shall travel to the mines.”

“You’re coming too?” William said, skeptically.

Ras nodded.

“It seems as though I have no choice now. The corporation has interfered in the realms of Yoba and in this area I must intervene. I will wake you at 11 so we may journey down.”

Sebastian looked at the clock. Ten hours beforehand. He let out a breath.

“Fine,” Will agreed, turning towards the stairs and walking up to the guest room that Ras had indicated.

Sebastian watched him and looked over at Ras, who was beginning to pull ingredients off his shelf.

“What did you give him?” Sebastian asked.

“Just a small potion. It will keep him healthy enough for this task to reach completion.”

Dread ran down Sebastian’s spine. “And what happens when the potion wears off?”

Ras flushed, a guilty look in his eyes. Sebastian narrowed his gaze. Damn people and always giving William exactly what he needed to destroy himself for the greater good.

“Well, it should be fine,” Ras said genially. “There won’t be enough time for the potion to wear off. We will go straight there and face these men. We will use our arts to take back the Stardrops and end the corruption that Joja is planning. Go. Rest. Our final battle to set this to rights will be over before you know it.”

*

Ras’s guest room was plain. One double bed. A couple of tables. Six wall hangings around the circular room, and a dark rug that softened the stone floor. Will kicked off his boots. Even though he wasn’t tired, no soldier ever turned down rest before a potential conflict.

Sebastian came up into the room a few moments later, still holding that book.

William met his eyes and took a good look at him.

His long black stripe of hair was still over one eye, but it wasn’t the smooth triangle that he always seemed to manipulate it to fall into. He had bags under his eyes, wrinkles around the corners where he’d been squinting and worrying. His hoodie was wrinkled too, his skin with that stretched look of too much coffee and too many cigarettes with not enough meals.

They stared at each other.

Unspoken words. Always so many unspoken words between them.

Words like _I’m sorry._

Words like _I was wrong._

Words like _Don’t leave me._

Yet, when William stood up, closing the door behind him, it all seemed to melt away.

He leaned down and Sebastian leaned up, lips touching, hands meeting.

The kiss was good. Just like the first time and all the other times in between. The kiss was damn good.

William pulled that hoodie off. Sebastian pulled Will’s shirt off and over his shoulders too. They stripped each other as Will walked them backwards, until they fell into the bed, naked. William took him hard, like he’d never see him again. Because he knew, in the back of his mind, before a battle, you could never predict the outcome. William knew, somehow, this might be it. That he’d go in and not come out.

He rode Sebastian slowly, his gasps and moans the fuel to move harder, faster, to burn himself into Sebastian’s flesh so that when he was gone, Sebastian would have this night to remember. William clutched him, bringing him off once, letting him rest, then doing it again.

Sebastian was determined to go on this mission with him? Wanted to see war face to face? Then William would make sure that he had this one cluster of hours to feel amazing. It was always good to be able to retreat into something amazing before you went and faced hell.

When William finally hit his release, Sebastian was a shivering mess of sweat, tears, and whimpers underneath him. They wrapped up in the blankets, Bastian against his chest, head under William’s bearded chin. It was right. In a world that had been so wrong for so many weeks, it felt right.

William stared at the wall. The potion was keeping him from sleeping but that didn’t mean that Sebastian shouldn’t rest. They didn’t know how long this raid would take.

“I was so angry,” Sebastian said, exhaustion and release making him honest. “Yet here we are.”

“I’m sorry,” William whispered, running his hand down Sebastian’s hip.

“About what?”

“Everything.”

Sebastian was quiet. Then he turned his face up. “I’m sorry too.”

“You haven’t done anything wrong, though,” William said gently. “All you’ve done is dragged my drug-soaked ass to a hospital and then get dragged into my fated bullshit hero quest.”

“I haven’t made you feel like you can talk to me,” Sebastian said, meeting his eyes. “I made you feel like you couldn’t trust me. So you went back to your drug instead of telling me what you needed. I’m going to do better.”

William sighed, tenderness in his chest.

“You can’t love someone to healthy, Bastian. I’m broken. That’s not on you.”

Sebastian stared up at him, eyes soft. Then he leaned forward and kissed the eagle on Will’s chest, lips brushing against the scar left behind by shrapnel from the first bomb that had dropped on him almost three years ago.

“You’re not broken to me, Will,” Sebastian said, eyes closed. “You’re tempered in the fires of hell maybe. But that makes you strong. Not broken.”

William blew out a breath and tucked him closer.

In that twilight dimness and safety of the room, William felt… understood. It was novel. This feeling that he wasn’t entirely alone.

“I love you, Sebastian,” William said, his voice feeling as though it was sharp in his mouth.

“I love you too,” Sebastian replied, falling into a deep and limp sleep.

The potion kept William awake, but he matched his breathing to Sebastian’s and waited, keeping watch as they both rested.

*

Will woke him up gently, fingers rubbing circles around his neck and shoulders, lips on his forehead.

“Babe. It’s time.”

Sebastian swallowed and blinked. The small room had felt like the save point of a game before a final battle. He nodded, pushing up, eyes blurry.

They got dressed and Sebastian watched, a bit jealous that William didn’t seem to be groggy at all. They went downstairs in time to see Ras finish strapping a rod to his arm, a satchel over one shoulder.

“All we need now is Rogue and Cleric and we’ll have a complete party,” Sebastian noted dryly, pulling his bag over.

“This is not a game, Sebastian,” Ras said.

“I dunno,” Will said, leaning against the wall. “I’m entertained.”

Ras rolled his eyes then pulled out paper-wrapped bars.

“Eat,” the wizard ordered. “You will both need your energy.”

Will caught the paper bundle and began to scarf it down. Sebastian looked down at the pressed bar.

“What is it?” he asked.

“A concoction I blended up. It will handle your nutritional needs for twenty-four hours,” Ras answered, checking his hat before pressing it onto his head.

Sebastian frowned. “Side effects?”

Will, who had just finished the bar, looked at the paper chagrined.

Ras scowled then shrugged, “Suspicion isn’t a good look on you, Sebastian.”

Sebastian didn’t break eye contact. Ras threw his hands up. “Perhaps… you will have odd dreams. Now, eat and let’s go.”

Sebastian stowed the bar in his hoodie pocket and with that, they were off.

They teleported to the mines and Sebastian felt his heart start to hammer. At the tower he’d been too adrift in his feelings of what he and Will had shared, that knowledge that they had a mission to be too scared. Yet now that they were here…

“Okay,” Will said, his voice changing from the lackadaisical amusement he’d exhibited in the tower to a serious tone that invoked a raid-party leader. “A couple of rules. I’m in charge here.”

Ras started to open his mouth but Will flashed him a look that said, ‘go ahead and challenge me, you won’t like the results.’ For once, the wizard shut his mouth. Sebastian just nodded and pulled out his tablet. As he began to pull up the maps that he’d developed off of Cameron’s last known location, Will continued.

“I’m taking point. Sebastian, you’re in the middle, and Ras, you’re bringing up the rear. If for whatever reason things look questionable, you help Sebastian run.”

Sebastian snapped his head up but Will’s look was deadly serious. He swallowed back the argument and looked back at the map, nodding.

“You get out and you go for help. Go to my house and get my parents’ number. You call Ma and you tell her everything. She and Dad have resources and they’ll mobilize.”

“You make it sound like they are going to call in the National Guard,” Sebastian said, skeptical. Will shrugged and then turned, eyes narrowed on the darkness.

“C’mon. We have work to do.”

The walk down into the darkness wasn’t at all like the first time that Sebastian had traveled into the depths. They had a map. As soon as the world started to dim, the wizard whispered something to his staff and it began to glow. Sebastian had the sudden thought that if Sam were here, he’d start humming the theme song to Lord of the Rings or something. Except it was more like Lord of the Fruit, from the way Ras and Will had described their goal.

They went through tunnels, and when Sebastian indicated the next path, they were stymied by a block of wooden grating that for all the world looked as though it hid a black hole into hell.

“Are you sure, Bastian?” Will asked, squinting at the wood.

Sebastian slipped his tablet into his bag and came around the side of the wooden barrier. He squinted at it, looked around and then remembered a module of Solarian.

“Look for a switch.”

They scoured the wall and just when Sebastian was beginning to question his own instincts about the secret door, Rasmodius grunted an affirmation and the entire wall began to split in half.

They backed up and Sebastian’s palms began to sweat.

The split wall led, not to more of the hewn rock and broken wood of the mine shafts, but a smooth metallic pathway with LED lights and a Joja corp logo on the side of the wall.

“Damn,” Will said and Sebastian shivered at the amount of ‘impressed’ in Will’s voice.

They walked slowly down the corridor. All of them jumped when the doors shut behind them. Unnerved, Sebastian stared at it. Closed. They were trapped now.

Will leaned against it, trying to open it... but it wouldn’t budge.

“C’mon,” Rasmodius said. “We’ll find an exit further up.”

Will nodded, then met Sebastian’s eyes, as if he were trying to say, ‘This doesn’t change what I want you to do.’

Sebastian swallowed and shifted his bag over his shoulder. They continued down the stark and cool hall. At the first sign of an electrical box, Sebastian stopped to plug in to the network. They’d be a lot better off if he could tap in and figure out what security they were facing.

He’d just gotten through the digital barriers when Will tensed up.

“Ras? Stay here. I’m going on ahead to check something out.”

Sebastian looked up alarmed but Will didn’t wait beyond that, moving up the empty hallway, footsteps lighter than they had any right to be on the metal floor. He rounded the corner. Sebastian bit his lip and stared back down at his tablet screen. He had a mobile keyboard propped up on his arm and he was typing furiously when he heard a commotion from the corner. He swallowed, looking back behind them.

“What is our plan, young Sebastian?” Ras asked, voice calm, though Sebastian could see how white his fingers were on the edge of his staff.

“We have to break into their security,” Sebastian replied, listening as there were more shouts up ahead. “And then—”

Will reappeared, his face flushed.

“So. About that stealth…” he paused and turned to look over his shoulder.

They looked up, just in time to see a squad of Joja-logoed security personnel.

Well. This just put a kink in everything.

*

William hated corridors. They were limited in their exits and essentially trapped in a funnel – which was the opposite of ideal.

Especially when one was faced with about four armed security guards who were totally unamused with unauthorized personnel.

“Halt!” one of the Joja-Troopers had snapped when he’d seen William.

William did not halt. He scanned his surroundings, looking for an exit. Then, at a loss, he blocked the way, sword drawn.

“Gentleman,” he drawled. “I really don’t want to cause any problems so why don’t you all just put your billysticks down and line up in the corner to be taken hostage. I’m sure there is a procedure for it in the Joja manual.”

This, sadly, did not have the hoped-for effect.

Four on one were not good odds, but eh, he’d had worse.

It was messy. It was loud. He received a smattering of bruises and was pretty sure he broke at least one of the guards’ bones in the tussle.

But, not before one of the motherfuckers hit the panic button.

Will knocked the last guy out, dropping him next to the previous three. He backed up and went back around the corner. Ras was tense, watching Sebastian’s back. His eyes scanned the hallway as he moved. Smooth walls. Nothing. He looked up and let out a breath of relief. They had a big ventilation system. Which meant, if they were very clever…

“So,” William said as he neared Ras and Sebastian, “about that stealth…”

“Why didn’t you just throw a bomb down and announce our presence that way?” Ras snapped.

“They knew we were here when we broke open the door,” Sebastian said, eyes glued to his tablet. “I’m working on scrambling the alerts now but—”

Klaxon alarms sounded around them and all three of them flinched at the loud buzzers.

“Attention all Joja Employees. This is an Intruder Alert. This is Not A Drill.”

Sebastian hissed, fingers flying over the little keyboard he’d brought with him. “But I just now got into their system.”

He swiped a finger over the screen and the alert died but William scowled.

“They know.”

“Four units are being sent our way,” Sebastian confirmed, eyes on the screen. “Estimated time of impact, two minutes.”

William looked up and then over at Ras. “Hey, can you cast anything useful?”

Ras scowled at him. “Have something in mind?”

“Something to break open the ceiling.”

Ras squinted, then glanced over at Sebastian. “Not for you, but I might be able to levitate him up.”

William let the wheels turn.

“One minute and thirty seconds,” Sebastian said, finger still flying.

“Good call,” William said, decision reached. “I’ll buy time. Sebastian, when you get up into the ceiling, get out and do what I said.”

“And what is your plan for me?” Rasmodius asked.

“Easy. You’re my escape clause. We get captured and you can teleport us out.”

Ras opened his mouth, then closed it. Nodded.

“Don’t you idiots know you never split the party?” Sebastian snapped. “This is a terrible idea.”

“And don’t you know you never put all your eggs in one basket? If something happens, you have called back up. No more arguing. I’m going. Ras? Don’t let me down.”

Sebastian snagged William’s wrist and before he could think, pressed a quick kiss against his lips. “Don’t be stupid,” he said, voice cool and sharp. “You have promises to keep.”

William stared into his eyes for a second. Precious seconds.

Yeah. But the hell if he was going to let Sebastian be dragged down because of this damn quest.

“Hurry,” he said.

They separated, William taking the end of the hall and beginning the difficult task of distractions.

Turned out, despite one’s best intentions, it was hard as fuck to hold off a group of men when they were armed with Tasers.

Contrary to popular belief, it was very possible to retain consciousness when fifty thousand volts of electricity were pulsing through your body in five second intervals. Alas, remaining upright, retaining control of his limbs or the ability to do anything other than wheeze for air… that was sadly out of reach.

He was on his side when he got hit with the first set of electrodes, on the ground and face turned towards the hall that Ras and Sebastian were still in… except Sebastian was levitating into the space of ceiling that William knew was there from the blueprints that Sebastian had downloaded.

He saw Ras make a motion with his staff before the second set hit, and he twitched violently.

He focused on breathing.

They’d all been tased in training, but he didn’t remember it hurting _this_ bad.

Probably the screws in his back didn’t help.

It was a few minutes later when he was able to get his breath back. At this point, he was zip-tied.

Ras, shockingly, didn’t struggle at all. He just mildly put his hands up and surrendered his staff.

William had trouble walking, swaying next to Ras as the guards dragged them forward.

This was stupid. This whole plan had been madness. They weren’t supposed to get captured. They weren’t supposed to be caught. This was terrible. Who the fuck had made him leader?

They were frogmarched to the main room where apparently all this evil testing was going down.

 _What a bullshit lab. It's like a fucking video game. I bet if I got away from these motherfuckers I could just hide in a goddamned cardboard box and watch for exclamation points_ …

The electricity had also scrambled his thoughts.

William focused on breathing again.

Breathing was good. Air was currently his friend. Inhale. Exhale.

He rallied as they came into the big room, and then spotted the entire purpose of this fucking exercise of crazy.

The Stardrops. Blue and glowing and perfect, sitting on a lit dais as pipes and tubes ran from them.

“Well, give me this much credit,” William said under his breath to Rasmodius. “I got us to the Stardrops.”

Ras nodded, eyes on the drops.

William narrowed his eyes at the two figures standing next to the glass case that held the Stardrops.

Roy.

He smirked when they were presented. William narrowed his eyes. Something about the smug bastard was… different. Something in the way he walked… in how he carried himself. William inhaled slowly. The first time he’d gone through the taser test, he’d been so sick and exhausted from the spasms it had taken him almost a full day to recover. But that potion Ras had given him was working like gangbusters. Already he could feel his back starting to ease its pain. Not as good as a pain killer/muscle relaxer/benzo combo but hey, this could be a market.

“The hoodlum is caught breaking and entering.”

This night just kept getting better.

“The evil villain’s club called,” William said. “They want their shtick back.”

“You have a smart mouth. Too bad your brain never caught up.”

“Now Royland, let’s be gracious hosts,” the person next to him said.

Ras, who had been looking around them for an exit, froze at the sound of her voice, his eyes slowly dragging back towards her. She was...a witch. The most classical witch William had ever seen. She had green skin and wore a black lab coat over a black dress. Her nose was long and hooked with thick green warts of a lighter shade over her forehead.

“William, get ready to run,” Ras said, a low thread of panic in his voice.

William snapped his head sideways. Was Sparkletoes serious? Run? He could barely breathe.

Ras opened his mouth but as he did, the green-skinned woman turned her head sideways, eyes locked on Ras like a magnet. Then she snapped her fingers and out of nowhere ropes appeared and latched themselves around Ras’s arms, his mouth, his legs and his hips, locking him into place. Ras shouted but whatever words of power he tried to snap out weren’t faster than the woman’s spell.

William stumbled, eyes wide.

The witch paced forward, eyes on Rasmodius.

“Well,” she said, her voice shockingly lovely despite her horrid appearance. “What a surprise… husband.”

*

The one advantage to the Joja Secret Lab being in an underground base was the necessity to pump in air. And pumping in air meant that the ventilation system within the compound was solid and firm. If they’d tried this in an office building, no way Sebastian, as slender as he was, would have been able to crawl around the ventilation systems to skirt around the guards.

Will had ordered him to leave and go for help. Demanded it. As if Sebastian was going to abandon him to an unknown fate and sit home twiddling his fingers again.

He’d gotten a taste of that in the car when they’d raided Roy and Cameron’s place, and wasn’t interested in a repeat exploration.

Especially since it would be easy for whatever security and lawyers to just block them. No, if you were kidnapped it was always easiest to escape as soon as possible.

Sebastian froze, terrified as he peered between the cracks of the ventilation to see Rasmodius taken in. He waited for what felt like hours, but his watch told him it was only a few minutes. After the corridor was clear, he let out a breath and then leaned back, pulling up the map on his tablet and then began to determinedly follow it.

There were two wrong turns before Sebastian finally was able to locate the main laboratory where William and Rasmodius were being kept.

He felt his eyebrows hit his hair and reached up, pushing the forelock out of his face and squinting through the grate of the ventilation shaft. It was like Joja had called up ‘Secret Research Laboratories dot com’ and added four of everything in the catalog to their basket. There were huge servers, bigger than the ones in the room he and William had found. There were tables of computers that looked like they would launch a spaceship as easily as they would analyze a Stardrop.

He pulled up the tablet and then carefully pulled the netbook out of his bag. He would kill for a damn workstation. These mobile devices were great for basic collections but had the processing power of a hamster on a wheel. He turned on the detection app and started running the password detector for the network against what he’d been able to pull from the brief hard-connect he’d had in the corridor.

Below him he could hear voices and froze, blinking when he recognized the hateful voice of Roy.

“Aren’t reunions nice?” Roy was saying.

Reunions? What was he talking about?

“You know Roy, you amaze me,” Will said, sounding almost bored.

“Impressed by my lab?”

“No it’s just, I’ve never seen a horse’s ass speak before. It’s impressive as fuck, man.”

There was a ringing slap and Sebastian’s heart rose to this throat as he stared down at the conflict below. Roy had hit Will so hard that he could see a stripe of blood running down his lip. Will’s head was still turned from the impact. Did Roy break his neck? Sebastian swallowed, trying to convince his heart to return to his chest. Tried to get his fingers to work harder on the keys… but he was stuck waiting on the program to run.

Will turned his head back towards Roy, then spit violently right into Roy’s face, red-flecked saliva hitting him in a burst.

Roy’s next hit was hard, right into Will’s chest. Will heaved from the pain. Then, again, Roy struck him. On the ground, helpless and tied, Ras writhed, muffled sounds coming from where he was contained.

Seb was in that closet again. Except this time, instead of Will taunting and having control of the situation, he was at Roy’s mercy, held still by the guards while Roy pummeled him.

Options.

Solutions.

Ideas.

He needed something. Anything to make this stop.

He swallowed down bile. He was going to throw up. He was going to get caught too and then he’d be useless. He had to do something…

And then his tablet vibrated and he blocked out the horrible sounds of hitting. The awful sounds Will made, the way he was sure he could hear the blood hitting the metallic floor, even though he was in the white noise of the ventilation shaft.

Power controls? Locked. Fuck. Those permissions would take longer.

Emergency shut downs? Locked.

Sebastian frantically skimmed through other available menus.

Climate control? Hey wait…

He ran his fingers over the keyboard and then figured out the maintenance protocols.

There.

Lights.

Sebastian looked down and then hit the lights on the tablet, plunging the lab into darkness.

Below them, engineers shouted. There was a moment, a moment where Sebastian was _sure_ that this would be the key… but then they came right back on.

“Who is helping you?!” Roy shouted, holding up Will by the collar.

“Maybe Yoba likes me better, seeing as I don’t steal his shit.”

The final punch was so loud, Sebastian flinched.

“Be careful, Roy,” the dark-clad woman said. “This one has been Chosen.”

“Has he now?” Roy said, contempt in his voice. “And I should care why?”

“Because,” the woman said, and when she turned her head, Sebastian realized she was _green_. “We can use him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THREE MORE WEEKS
> 
> I can hardly believe it. T_T
> 
> I have met so many wonderful people through writing and sharing this story with you all. Thank you for being a fantastic group to hang out with Saturday after Saturday. We're getting close to the end and that can make us sad but good news! I am co-writing a project with [GingerDelight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/works) that will begin posting April 7th. So if you want more information on that, please subscribe here or follow me on my [Tumblr](https://dracoangelicawritesfanfiction.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Chapter 48 posts Saturday February 10, 2018 between 8-10 CST. As always, if you enjoyed this, please let me know by leaving a comment or kudo. Love you all and see you next week!
> 
> As always, thank you to [TurtleTotem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleTotem/works) and [GingerDelight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/works) for being amazing betas and doing a rush job on this chapter so I could do some social stuff Saturday. Best Betas ever.


	48. Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing comes without a price...

Blood tasted like metallic coins, the flavor sick and rotten. From the first time he’d gotten into a fight in the schoolyard, to the training grounds of boot camp, he’d become familiar with the nauseating sensation.

Pissed him off that of all the fucking motherfuckers in the world, Roy had made him taste his own blood.

William was hanging from the grips of the two Joja-troopers, eyes unfocused, thoughts racing. He took stock of himself, trying to get his ears to make up for the shortcomings of his eyes, listing his injuries, focusing on what he could quantify.

Loose back tooth. Blood inside of his mouth where the fucker had smashed his lips against his teeth. His skin was on fire and the bruise on his cheek throbbed. His shoulders throbbed where he hung. His ribs ached but he could still breathe, so probably not broken. His ears picked up the shift of the witch’s clicky heels on the tile. She was nearing them, her toe kicking Ras’s hat to the side.

“You know, Rasmodius,” the witch said. “I never thanked you for breaking your promise and cursing me.”

_Hell of a thank you, lady._

Ras squirmed on the ground, grunting something behind his gag.

“What was that?” The witch said, squatting to pull Ras’s head up by his hair. “You miss me and wish I’d return to your lying, cheating, and philandering side?”

Ras gave a shout of frustration.Will inhaled, his ribs throbbing. He swallowed and coughed, the taste heavy in his mouth. He spit out the mouthful of blood and wondered if the blood coated his teeth.

“It’s hard to talk to someone who’s gagged, you grassy bitch,” Will slurred, swaying. The Joja-troopers gripped him harder. The witch snapped her beady eyes over to him, granite gaze trying to pin him still. She dropped Ras’s head on the tile and rose. William squinted. His vision began to clear. Good shit, that potion. Too bad whatever punishment it had for healing him would return times three once this shit wore off.

“Oh, the chosen one speaks,” the Evil Frog Woman said. “Don’t you know that one should _never_ interfere in a married dispute?”

“Don’t you know it’s bad manners to air your dirty laundry?” William said, starting to steady.

“Perhaps you don’t understand your position here,” Roy snapped.

William glared back at him through his non-swollen eye. He just had to hold out until Sebastian called his parents. It would be maybe… six hours before they’d get here. Six hours before they came with the police. Maybe… just maybe… they should have started with that. But then, he’d had a reason to hold back. It involved magic and magic face fruit. Right? Wasn’t that the reason? Ah yes… different dimensions would be difficult to explain to the mundane police. This blatant kidnapping though, that was clearly in violation of regular people law. He just had to stall.

“Last I checked, my position involved my knee in your kidneys, Roy,” William said, feeling a long line of bloody drool drip onto the tile floor.

“What’s this?” the witch asked, amused. “Did he best you, Royland?”

“A minor annoyance,” Roy said, before slamming his fist right into William’s solar plexus. Will couldn’t help it. He dry-heaved from the blow, spewing red-tinged spit on the ground. He tried to gasp but the air was knocked out of him. Whatever progress the potion had made on his healing had to restart.

_Good job Bauer_ , he thought, _keep him hitting you. Show them who’s boss._

Beside him Ras shoved himself up to his knees. His hair, usually covered, showed white streaks through the dark strands. It fell over his craggy face like a dirty mop, strings over his eyes. They exchanged glances and William’s focus resharpened. They were in this together and he wasn’t about to let them die in this fucking lab.

“Well, despite this entertainment, we have a demonstration to complete,” the witch said.

Demonstration? With the Stardrops?

“It’s really quite genius. Cameron, dear, please, come forward and explain.”

William lifted his head, his temples pulsing in painful throbs. Sure enough, eyes tight, jaw tense, and in the same white Joja-monogrammed lab coat of the people around them, stood Cameron. He had a yellowing bruise on the corner of his forehead and red marks on his neck. A new surge of fury ran through William and he jerked against the men restraining him.

“You sick bastard,” he snarled.

“I feel quite healthy,” Roy said mildly. He smirked then looked over at Cameron.

William’s heart ached to see him. Cameron’s face, his shaky body language, all of it was _wrong._ He pulled against his captors but they held him fast. Fear. True fear ran through him, fighting against his previous pulse of hope. There were too many unknowns in this situation. Everything had gone FUBAR. How were they supposed to get out of this?

“You said that they wouldn’t be here, Roy,” Cameron protested, never meeting William’s eyes.

“I said I wouldn’t _go after_ them, darling,” Roy said, absently examining his knuckles where he’d busted the skin against William’s face. “I never expected them to ignore your _heroic_ sacrifice and come deliver themselves. It really must make you feel quite useless, lover.”

William caught Cameron flinch at the word. Roy opened and closed his hand. “Did you know about the wizard?” he asked.

Cameron shook his head slowly, never daring to look over at Rasmodius and William. “No idea.”

Roy turned his head, sneering at William. “Did you think you could stop us, Bauer?”

He was going to hit him again, William realized, his chest starting to ease, the potion fighting against his wounds. Again, his head starting to clear. He needed to gain time to let it work.

“I dunno, Roy,” William said. “It didn’t seem like that hard a task. After all, last time we tangoed you did most of the heavy lifting for me.”

The witch chuckled and Roy’s face was a mask of fury. From the corner of the floor, Rasmodius looked at him like he was an idiot, but William knew what he was doing.

When Roy came at him again, Will shifted, dropping straight down, letting his body fall like dead weight against his captors and timing it just so that Roy’s swinging fist slammed into a Joja-Trooper helmet.

The howl of rage and pain was worth every fucking hit he’d taken from the meat-fisted asshole.

“This is ridiculous,” the witch muttered. “Do I have to do everything?”

Before he could figure out what she meant, ropes appeared again, slamming themselves around him like iron chains, binding him at the wrists, elbows, knees, and around his mouth. His legs slammed together as they bound him and he overbalanced, falling onto his hip and side. His nostrils flared, the tightness more than he’d expected.

_Magic. Of course she has the fucking magic. Miscalculation. I guess I’m lucky she didn’t turn me into a toad the way Ras is always threatening._

Roy helpfully kicked him while he was down and William thought, for a moment, he was going to choke. Once again the healing surged up to combat the new injury.

“There. Silence at last. But oh dear, our friends can’t accurately view our demonstration. Royland, honestly, didn’t your mother teach you how to be a good host?”

Something invisible pulled against the ropes. William saw the same happening to Rasmodius and then they were rising up to look at the large screen behind Cam. William breathed through his nose.

The higher leverage point gave him a better view of the lab. It was a large room with a tiered set of desks rising around in a semi circle. On a large dais was the hole into the Yoba Plane, the perfect and shining Stardrops in the middle, encased by glass.

He counted the people he could see. Fourteen employees, the four guards that had taken them in, Cameron, the witch, and Roy. That was it. Twenty enemies. William took stock as the witch went into an explanation of the mystical properties of the Stardrops. Enhanced strength. Enhanced endurance. Enhanced blahblahblah… He pulled on the restraints. The ropes were scratchy, and William’s head spun from the height and blood loss. But that was fixing itself, after a second more of her explaining how they’d extracted some type of juice from the little fruits.

William narrowed his eyes, a plan forming. Well. Goals. Plans would come as he figured out what he needed to do to get out of this fix.

Step 1 – Get free.

Step 2 – Smash the machine.

Step 3 – ???

Step 4 – Profit.

*

Watching Will get beaten was hard. It was even harder to sit in the cold ventilation shaft. He could feel screws and metal bolts digging into his legs and hips as he tried to quietly watch. At the same time he was working through the network and also listening to what was going on below him. The witch explained how they’d stolen the Stardrops from the Yoba plane, how they’d discovered they could tap into the mystical fruit and extract magical nectar. He exited out of error after error in his attempt to hack into the network, fingers flying even as his ears absorbed her story.

“There was just one problem,” the witch said, in mock sadness. “The nectar was just _so_ highly addictive.”

Sebastian froze, his fingers pausing over the screen.

“It’s a pleasurable drink. It tastes wonderful and our customers who try it will feel _oh so much_ better. All those lovely health properties you understand. In fact, they will love it so much they will never stop buying it. We will become as ubiquitous as water. And as necessary. Because anyone who tries to stop will experience withdrawal that makes your puny drug addictions look like a cake walk. Before anyone discovers the side effects, we’ll have the world enthralled!”

Sebastian stared down, horrified as the witch walked over towards what looked like a soda machine. All those people, suddenly forced to drink their concoction because this woman wanted power. Because she wanted revenge on a cheating spouse. The level she was willing to go through… to warp something as sacred as Yoba’s Stardrops…

His mind flashed to Will’s body in the hospital bed. He could picture Will’s anguish when he’d seen the morphine drip, the opiates he’d fought his dependency on leaking into his veins without his permission.

This was worse.

Children. Men. Women. They’d never realize what they were signing on for. His heart stuttered. Sam. Who drank Joja cola as an afterthought… never able to stop. Craving the magical juice like Will had craved the high of pain relief.

“It’s simple,” the witch continued, pressing a button and watching impassively as a can of unmarked liquid fell into the bottom of the tray. “We even have medical endorsement from the most recent nurse of the year.” She gave a simpering smile to Cameron. “Isn’t that right, Nurse Baker?”

Sebastian wondered if he was going to be sick. He shoved the nausea down and to the side and watched through the grates. He couldn’t attack them directly. Will had helpfully demonstrated why that was a terrible idea. They had all the advantages.

Except for one.

He looked down at his tablet and began to skim his fingers over the different menus. He needed access. He needed to be able to get into the system. He needed to be able to go in and shut this entire operation down from the start.

Then he spied it. Cameron’s controls. He narrowed his eyes and realized, to his amazement, that the same sticky note with Roy’s passwords that had been underneath the mouse pad at his house was still next to the console.

Some people were too predictable.

Quickly he tried the codes from his clipboard where he’d stored Roy’s passwords and to his glee, they worked.

“And today you get to watch,” the witch was saying, “as we get ready to distribute our potion to the entire world!”

Ras struggled, jerking his head in a frenzy against his restraints. As if something had timed out on Ras’s ropes, they loosened just enough for him to wiggle his jaw out of the gag.

“Morgan! This is madness. Can’t you see how you’re unbalancing the world?”

Sebastian blinked. Morgan. That name had been written inside several of the spellbooks and lorecraft tombs that he’d spend days pouring over. He swallowed. She really was Rasmodius’s wife.

“I am re-aligning it!” she snapped back. “Because you, dear husband, will have the unique honor of taking one of the very first drinks of our newest creation!”

“You are warping the very fabric of magic to create this monstrosity,” Ras snarled back at her.

Sebastian checked the progress bar on his connection. Why was it taking so long?

“The way you warped the bonds of marriage?”

“I was weak! I made a mistake and I’ve spent every day regretting it!” Ras snapped. “I can’t take back my past but I can try and help you. Please, Morgan, it’s not too late to stop this.”

“Stop it? Why would I stop it when I spent so long trying to _start_ it? Do you think it was easy for a woman _cursed_ to be _green_ with horrible envy to start a corporation in the modern world from nothing?”

Sebastian’s head snapped up.

“What?” Rasmodius asked, horrified.

“Oh yes, _husband_. It was me. I was the one who took the struggling little soft drink business and blew them into the multi-billion dollar empire that you see!”

Rasmodius shook his head, horrified. She grinned, her gaze on his with horrible focus.

“Yes,” she purred. “For the last twenty-one years, it’s been me behind all of the different power plays. Behind the war. Behind the expansion and destruction of your precious nature. You're constantly devoted to repairing the world after the shadow wars, but you're never willing to step up and deal with the problems you caused!"

Sebastian’s tablet blinked and he let out a breath.

This was going to have to work.

He began to type, focusing on the different alerts he had to set up. First in sector one, which according to the map was on the other side of the facility. In the corner of the room, four of the Joja employees saw the alerts and slipped out, quickly going to check them before their absence was noticed. Seb waited. The witch was describing the details of stealing the fruit from the plane, something Ras was arguing had been an impossibility. He hit the second series of commands and two more peeled off to go check. They were obviously hesitant to discuss their issue with Roy. In fact, when he hit the third series of alerts, he watched four more slip off to check them, this time on the north side.

He checked the cameras he could see from where he sat in the vents.

“Two, four, six, eight,” Sebastian whispered, clipping through the lockout commands and watching the cameras with satisfaction as different teams of employees suddenly realized they were trapped in the very service rooms they’d gone to secure. “Who do you appreciate?” he asked himself, smug.

The crew of twenty had been cut down to one supervisor who was looking in concern at the status screen in front of him. Sebastian hit the power button on the main frame and immediately saw lights on the main computer start to dim. The witch cut herself off in mid-sentence, turning as the display died on her demonstration.

“Roy,” she snapped, “you idiot, what’s happening?”

“What are you talking about?” he said, frowning. “I didn’t do anything.”

Sebastian took a chance and sent a message across the screen that Cameron was staring at, trying to reboot or restart the system he was in charge of.

It was just one word.

“Run.”

*

William noticed one by one the different staff members of the Joja lab peeling off. Two here. Three there. Two then four. One at a time, checking their belts for information and backing out in a hurry. Morgan didn’t notice, and if Ras did, he was too busy yelling back at her. Surreptitiously, William began to shift his body, shift his arms against her ropes. He noticed that the more she focused on Ras, the looser his ropes got. As if her focus and concentration were somehow related to the strength of the spell.

“YOU CHEATED, RASMODIUS!” Morgan was spewing, her eyes wild and her hair starting to slip out from under her pointed hat.

“YOU NEVER HAD TIME FOR ME!” Rasmodius spat back. “MORE INTERESTED IN YOUR BIZARRE SHRINES THAN IN ME!”

“Well I thought you married me for my power!”

“And I thought we were in love!”

William shifted his shoulders and took a deeper breath. The moment of tied stillness was frustrating but he could feel the points of contact. The invisible hook that held their ropes up was only focused near the back, depending on their weight and lean to keep them taut and contained. He took a deep breath and let it out, squirming as he exhaled, and was rewarded with another inch of slippage.

Roy was locked onto this fight. William swallowed back the terror and anxiety of the unknown that had been thrumming through him since he’d been captured. None of that was going to help them get out. And really, there wasn’t much they had to do. Just. Get free. While under watch.

What he wouldn’t give for a good distraction.

There was another shift of his weight with the next exhale and he felt the ropes slip another inch. Ras threw out another insult, this time about a thaumaturgical something or other. _Fucking magic users…_

He swallowed and then exhaled more, knowing that this was it… all he had to do was shimmy out and once he hit the ground, it was game on.

Just as he had that thought, Morgan cut off mid-rant on why exactly her newest method of cloning Stardrop nectar was going to revolutionize her takeover of all of Ferngill, because the display screen on her damn powerpoint disappeared.

“Roy,” she snapped, turning to her minion. “You idiot, what’s happening?”

“What are you talking about?” he whined, his stupid face snapping out of the focused and eager zone he’d been in while watching Rasmodius and Morgan scream at each other about magical whatsits and who did what to who. There was a creak and if William hadn’t been suspended mere feet away from the huge ventilation shafts that piped fresh air into the caves, he wouldn’t have noticed the sound. Yet, when he glanced up, his heart stopped. Because he could see through the grate as Sebastian, white-faced and determined, moved his fingers on one of those tiny keyboards that he kept in his pack. Sebastian saw him look and then held up five fingers, then peeled them down to four. He pointed down. William turned and locked his eyes on Cameron, ignored and stiff behind TweedleBitch and TweedleLump.

Cameron looked so small against the large display. There were giant television sized monitors hanging over his head, walls of screens that were piping out results of the Stardrop monitoring. Cameron read the monitor in front of him and then slowly began to back up to an exit.

_Yes_ , William thought with a surge of triumph. _Sebastian_.

He’d been their unknown ace in the hole. William would tan his ass later for not going home and staying safe, but for now he rolled with what they had. His battle plans shifted and he glanced back up at Sebastian just in time to see his little countdown go from four to one. William blew out a breath and _heaved_ against his bonds, feeling them start to give a little more. Suddenly every alarm in the main room let out a blaring shrill scream through the laboratory.

Everyone on the ground flinched and Morgan’s concentration on the rope spell snapped, slack spilling through the ropes. William was prepared and he crouched as he hit the ground, then launched forward, running like a quarterback towards the witch, tackling her.

Because while she might have been able to make with the woo-woo, in his experience, there wasn’t a spell-slinger alive who didn’t block with their face.

“I don’t usually hit ladies,” he growled as he pulled back his fist, “but in your case, sweetheart, I’m willing to make the exception.”

Before he could let the hit connect though, Roy was on him, tackling into his side, slamming him against the concrete. But this time wasn’t like the times before. He wasn’t held back by two people while the cowardly prick wailed on him. William accepted the first hit right in the head and shifted his face so that Roy’s knuckles connected with his forehead, that nice plate of bone to smash his tender fist against instead of the softer and meatier flesh of his cheek and jaw. It rang his bell but William had the potion on his side to help combat stupid things like concussions. When Roy howled, pulling his throbbing fist back, William followed through, shoving forward and flipping the shithead over to slam him onto the ground. He grabbed a fistful of Roy’s collar and aimed his hit, letting it fly right into Roy’s nose.

This wasn’t the play-slapping bullshit that Roy had been throwing around. William packed all his frustration and rage behind the blow and was relieved to feel the cartilage crinkle and snap underneath his fist.

_That’s right. Taste your own blood, asshole._

Roy howled and choked against the blow and William shifted his weight, driving blows into Roy’s chest and ribs now. He glanced up. Morgan was screaming in incoherent rage and pointing at him with a ball of something green and terrible looking in her hand… which couldn’t be good at all.

William threw himself sideways, crab walking backwards. He wasn’t going to be able to get out of the way of whatever it was, he thought with panic. The spell was going to hit him. Yet, as it left her hands, Roy stood, nose pouring, eyes promising murderous revenge. Just as he pulled a fist back to smash into William, the bolt of Morgan’s spell hit him and he froze, expression melting into a mask of confusion. Then, he began to shrink. And his bones shifted. And he grew feathers.

William stared in horror as the man changed from the towering psychopath in a suit to a bird. Not just a bird, but a dark-colored dove. It stared back at him and all the aggression that had been in the man’s face was absent. As was consciousness. Oblivious, the bird began to peck the ground. William stared up at the witch, his heart pounding.

That had almost been him.

“You,” the witch spat at the bird, “idiot. Fine. I didn’t need you anyway. Just got in my way.”

“Nice pension plan you got at Joja,” William said, reaching behind to the wall to push himself to his feet. “Does it come with birdseed in the severance package, or did Roy just get lucky?”

“You know, you speak a lot, Chosen One,” the witch sneered, walking towards him with menace in every step. “But you really don’t say much, do you?”

William reached behind him and felt around on the desk. His fingers touched a stapler and he gripped it, feeling the weight.

“I think you miss the point,” William panted, backing up another step.

“The point of my spell through your head?” the witch said silkily, following his retreat.

“No, the point of a distraction,” William said, suddenly flinging the stapler at her. She laughed callously and pointed her staff at it, and instead of it turning into anything, it just exploded into hundreds of pieces.

“Your grand plan is to throw things at me? What are you? A caveman? Only someone with True Power can take me on!” She threw another bolt and William dived behind the desk, letting the blow smash into the steel frame. It ricocheted off of the metallic surface and went wide. William’s eyes followed it and he felt his heart drop as the bolt slammed into the ventilation shaft instead. The long, hollow square tube shuddered then cracked, crashing sideways. As if pushed down a slide, he saw Sebastian come tumbling out to fall onto the hard stone floor. He swallowed and shifted his weight, reorienting himself to intercept.

“I was just trying to get your attention,” Will called, shifting to dive behind another desk as her blast came towards the sound of his voice.

“Excellent plan,” she sneered. “That makes it so easy for me to find and destroy you.”

“And,” Rasmodius said, “made it really easy for me to get my staff back.”

William peeked up just in time to see Rasmodius throw a blast at Morgan that launched her off her feet and into a wall. He glanced sideways at Ras and for a split second thought of all the times he’d run his mouth off at the older and crankier man.

And not been smashed against the wall like an insect.

_Let's hope I didn’t use all my luck up on that…_

He turned and ran along the wall to slide to a stop on his knees next to Sebastian. Cameron was already kneeling next to him.

“Thought you were getting while the getting was good,” William said, kneeling on Sebastian’s other side. He was starting to come to.

“Well, easier said than done,” Cameron said. “It’s not as bad as it could have been. He dislocated his shoulder.” Sebastian groaned underneath Cameron’s probing fingers. “I need to x-ray this.”

“Yeah I’ll just whistle one of those up,” William snarled. He glanced back over at the fight between Ras and his crazy ex-wife. He blew out a breath. “Can’t you just pop it back in?”

“Does this look like an action movie to you, Bauer?” Cameron snapped. “He could have major damage if we manhandle this.”

“Yeah well, if you wait too long, he’ll swell up,” William pointed out.

“I can hear you both,” Sebastian grit through wheezing gasps of pain.

“Shut up,” they told him crisply.

William looked down at him and then at Cameron. “C’mon Baker. Nut up. Show me where and I’ll fucking do it.”

Cameron scowled then said gently, “Sebastian, we need to reset your shoulder joint. When you fell, you knocked it out of the socket. You need to remain calm.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian said, sweating and trying to stay still. “Just do it, okay.”

William shifted, putting himself between them and the ongoing battle behind him. Sebastian’s breaths were fast, tears in his eyes. William stroked his head, watching as Cameron began to align the arm.

“You stupid shit,” William said, bracing him while Cameron carefully ran his hand down to find the joint. “I told you to go home and call for help.” William stilled when Cameron found the ball joint. This was going to hurt like a motherfucker.

“Couldn’t… leave you… again,” Sebastian panted, flinching as Cameron touched him.

“Breathe,” William ordered at Cameron’s silent look. Unthinking, Sebastian inhaled. Cameron didn’t hesitate, snapping the joint of his arm back into place. Sebastian wheezed out in pain and William shifted holding him up as he cried and gasped.

“Belt,” Cameron ordered, snapping his fingers as he folded Sebastian’s arm up to his side. William moved a hand down, taking off his belt and handing it over so that Cameron could stabilize the limb. Then he looked over his shoulder. Rasmodius had Morgan completely distracted but the fight was getting closer.

“Okay, Cameron. Time for you two to get the fuck out.”

“Negatory,” Sebastian said. “Didn’t come this far to abandon you now.”

William glared down at him. “Look at yourself, Bastian. You’re hurt.”

“And you’re free,” Sebastian snapped. “You’re welcome.”

“He’s right, Bauer,” Cameron said. “If Sebastian hadn’t been doing his techno-voodoo on the computers we’d be facing 20 different thugs. He uh… also locked us in here.”

“Locked them out,” Sebastian protested, getting to his feet. “C’mon. Let’s get the Stardrops settled.”

William’s head swam. Two non-combatants to protect. Magic-throwing crazies.

He revisited his original plan. Get free? Check. Smash deadly addiction-juice-making machine was next on the grocery list.

“Fine,” he growled, frustrated. The plan was still on. “Cam, you and Seb are in charge of disrupting the machine. I’m going to play interference.”

Sebastian nodded and Cameron let out a breath. “Careful, Bauer.”

“You too, Baker.”

They split up then, Cam and Sebastian going for the machine and Will staring at the massive wizard duel going on… trying to figure out how he was going to do this without getting killed.

*

His shoulder ached worse than anything he’d ever experienced before. Still, Sebastian felt the adrenaline pulse through him. This was the most terrifying moment of his life. Worse than being in the mines alone. Yet, somehow he was moving. He’d always thought, ever since his attack, that if he were in another deadly situation that he’d freeze, not knowing what to do, too frightened to act. The way he’d been too frightened to get away from his attackers in high school. The way he’d frozen in terror when he’d seen Will, unresponsive and too-still on the ground in front of his grandfather’s grave. Yet here he was, running with Cameron next to him, his eyes on the goal—the machine that held the Stardrops. He couldn’t let Will down. Couldn’t fail him here when it mattered so much.

They were almost to the Machine when something crashed behind them. Sebastian turned in time to have Cameron pull him behind a shield of one of the desks. The piece of lab equipment smashed over the tile they’d been standing in.

“Can’t they just watch where they’re throwing those things?” Cam said in a hysterical and shrill cry. Sebastian’s heart was pounding in his ears. Seconds ago, Cam was a cucumber of calm throwing his joints around like he was a doll. Now they were cowering and Sebastian could see his hands shaking.

“We just got to get to the power source,” Sebastian said, holding his bad arm.

Behind them Will shouted some type of challenge. Sebastian realized he was shaking too, just as much if not more than Cameron.

“So easy to say that,” Cameron snapped, “but it’s a damn war zone out there, Sebastian. It’s dangerous. Maybe we should…”

The words were understandable. But as soon as he heard the defeat in Cameron’s voice, Sebastian narrowed his eyes and exhaled. No. Will was counting on them. And Sam. And all of Pelican Town. The entire country.

He shoved himself to his feet and began to run a zigzagged path towards the main machine where the Stardrops floated in the glass enclosure, leaving Cameron to shout behind him. Around him, shrapnel buzzed like bees. He felt something slice across his cheek as he made his run. He didn’t check the scratch, just focused on keeping his balance. His shoulder, throbbing in pain with every step, was ignored in his need to get to that desk.

Fingers of one hand were all he could run along the keyboard. He focused on the codes, blocking out the chaos behind him.

Four lines.

He needed to write four lines. It was agony to do it one-handed, staring at the keyboard and then back at the screen to hunt-peck with one hand, constantly backspacing as the sounds behind him got louder and louder.

He let out a breath then hit send. Lights began to dim and connections began to hiss as they detached from the glass dome.

“NO!” someone shrieked behind him. He turned around, eyes wide, to see Morgan throw Will and Ras off of her with a blast of power. Sebastian raised a hand against the blinding glow of the light that came from her hands, but felt a surge of triumph. It was too late. He’d done it. The Stardrops were beginning to levitate, floating back to the Yoba Plane where they belonged.

She saw the drops moving and her very hair stood on end from the blast of energy that pulsed out in green-black strobes. Energy crackled like lightning around the room and Sebastian wobbled as the entire cave shook from her screech of fury. He heard something above his head and looked up. One of the huge monitors was wiggling on its support. Then he saw Will dashing towards him, arms pumping the air as he leapt over the desks. He reached him and shoved him down, rolling them out of the way of the crashing screen.

It smashed down in a shattering cacophony of glass and metal and plastic. Will stared down at him and Sebastian’s heart surged, hope pulsing through him.

“I did it,” he said, excitement and joy pounding through him. “We’re going to stop her. It’s okay now,” he said, dazed in his realization that it was over. The fruits were safe. They were all safe.

“Good job, Bastian,” Will said, panting, catching his breath. He’d caught some of the glass against his forehead, the gash bleeding down despite how shallow it was. He shifted and Sebastian looked up.

Ras was falling in slow motion, a magical blast from Morgan smashing him into the wall. Sebastian saw her face, saw it lock on Will, saw the hatred and anger congeal into a focused and murderous resolve.

Morgan pointed at them. And Sebastian knew, knew she was pointing at Will. Because while Sebastian might have been the gun that shot her fruit off into the Yoba Plane, Will had pulled the trigger. He scrambled. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do. He just knew, could predict the movement, the physics of it with every hand wave, could see the power gathering once more as her lips moved to form words. His mind compiled it together and with his entire body, he rejected the output.

Sebastian shoved, knocking Will backwards with his burst of movement, unbalancing the larger man, slamming him onto his back. A bolt of power sailed harmlessly above their heads. Sebastian swallowed and Will rolled them again, hauling Sebastian to his feet and making another dash for more cover. Behind them, something else sizzled and melted. They were sitting ducks this way. Just as they were hurling towards the exit, Will tripped. Sebastian stumbled turning, eyes wide.

“GO!” Will roared at him. Sebastian stared down at him and then up. The bolt was coming. There was no time. If he did, he’d leave Will exposed. The choice was clear. Run and let Will die or stand his ground and take it for him.

Sebastian felt no regret as he braced his feet and took her entire, deadly blast square in the chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this week's installment of Cloudburst! Please deposit all screams, tears and demands for my immediate death in the comments section below.
> 
> If you want any behind the scenes chatter or notes about the drafts as they are happening, be sure to go to my [Tumblr](https://dracoangelicawritesfanfiction.tumblr.com/)! I post every few days and am always available for chatter.
> 
> Thank you as always to [TurtleTotem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleTotem/works) and [GingerDelight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/works) who make it a point of removing my Garbage Goggles when looking at my own works. You two are the best and I don't know how I'd finish this story without your support and help.
> 
> Chapter 49 will be out on Saturday, February 17th, 2018 between 8-10pm CST!


	49. Orpheus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which William disagrees with Death.

Sebastian fell like a rag doll.

One minute, he stood with his good arm out, his hoodie blowing in the blast of the witch’s power. The next he was crumbling down, crushed under the force of it. William caught him before his head hit the ground, his dead weight straining William’s arms and shoulder.

“Sebastian!”

But he didn’t respond.

Ras launched himself from the wall that Morgan had thrown him against and clashed against her, giving William a distraction. William shifted Sebastian around, cradling him. Then, Cameron was at his side.

William felt frozen, his hands shaking. He couldn’t understand what he was seeing as he stared down at Sebastian’s blank face. How could his chest be smoking? How was it so hollow? There was a deep, black, and charred circle that wept blood and a nauseating ooze.

“William,” Cam snapped, “let’s get him behind cover.”

Cover.

That made sense.

William and Cameron cradled Sebastian between them and ducked underneath more of the scattered desks that were flipped around the laboratory.

“Why isn’t he moving, Cameron?” William asked, frantically stroking Sebastian’s hair. There was a ‘clink’ as the Frozen Tear pendent slid to the side, the corner of it charred from Morgan’s blast.

Cameron swallowed, eyes moving over the young man’s body, his fingers clutching over Sebastian’s wrist.

“Will,” Cameron said.

William ignored him, his focus on Sebastian. “Babe,” he crooned, stroking a cold cheek. His heart beat painfully; too fast and hard. “Wake up. C’mon, we have to get out of here.”

Sebastian didn’t blink his eyes. He didn’t turn his head and tell William that it was all a joke. He didn’t push him off and grouse that he was worrying too much.

“William.” Cameron tried again, gently, this time covering Will’s hand with his own.

William shoved his offered hand off and shook Sebastian, lightly. He didn’t want to make that terrible chest injury worse. His voice cracked. “I know you hate waking up, but we got to go, Bastian.” Something was coming up in his stomach, something terrible, but William fought it down. “We got to get out of here.”

“William. Joseph. Bauer,” Cameron said, snapping each word like breaking down a door. “He is dead.”

William stopped breathing. It couldn’t be. He was supposed to be the god damned chosen one. He was supposed to stop this from happening. He shook his head, eyes burning.

_I wanted you to stay home._

“No.”

Cameron let out a breath and in a shaking voice said, “His heart isn’t beating. He isn’t breathing. Will, he’s…” His voice broke. “…gone.”

William felt something inside him shatter.

_Look at me,_ he begged the corpse in his arms.

Sebastian didn’t.

A new bomb had fallen on his life. One that didn’t shatter his spine, but instead destroyed his heart. William stared at Sebastian’s blank face. Pale skin and hollowed eyes, lips turning blue in the face of death. For a moment different faces superimposed themselves over him. Justin. Max.

Failures.

All of them.

_I love you. I’m going to bring you back._

Gently, William let Sebastian down on the ground, leaning down and pressing a kiss to cool lips that didn’t twitch. He sucked in a breath and then with an effort of willpower tightened a tourniquet around his heart, twisting it until all the pain he felt was choked off. He stood.

“Where are you going?” Cameron snapped, trying to pull him down. William shoved him off and leaned over, hauling a piece of shattered pipe that had been blasted off the wall by one of Morgan’s attacks. “Bauer, you testosterone-infested, moronic bag of _hammers_ , it is a damn war zone out there. You are going to wind up as dead as Sebastian!”

“He’s not dead,” William said, his voice cold. “Not on my watch.”

*

The sky was warm.

Sebastian opened his eyes and looked around. He was laying in a field of glowing violet fruit. The large Stardrops were shining like LED bulbs.

“Welcome!”

He looked down and saw a little green Junimo.

“I didn’t know you could talk…” he said, confused. He looked down at himself. He wasn’t wearing his normal dark hoodie. Instead, he was encased in a white tunic. He had dried and curled leaves around his arms and legs, as if he’d recently shed some type of leafy encasement. He brushed at his arms and legs, confused at the dirt and dust that shed from his skin.

“You can hear us now!” the little creature said, cheerful. As it spoke, a few more of the apple shaped creatures peeked out of the stalks around him. He rubbed his eyes but they remained there, in all sorts of colors. The green one seemed to be the leader. It hopped up and down. “Come! Let’s show you what comes next.”

Next?

Sebastian turned his head left and right but could see nothing but the bright fields with endless rows of swaying stalks. Why was he here? Hadn’t he been somewhere else? He’d been trying to do something… but what? He couldn’t remember.

He stood, the dried leaves and flower petals shedding off of his white tunic. The garment was short and left his arms and legs bare. He reached up and frowned. He usually wore something around his neck, didn’t he? What was it? He inhaled, intending to ask just as the pollen from the field of endless plants filled his nose. He blinked and he forgot again. What was he doing? Oh yes, following the Junimo. The little creature bounced forward and they began a long and meandering walk towards a huge tree in the middle of the field.

*

Morgan was focused on Ras.

Ras was focused on Morgan.

No one was focused on William when he slammed his pipe down on the witch’s wrist right as she was rolling it to fling another incantation. William had a goal. That goal needed to be reached through a series of steps.

_Step 1. Disarm the witch._

He was willing to take that literally. Her shriek was a mild balm to his bleeding heart. He adjusted his next swing, breaking her other wrist cleanly and with a snap. He kicked her in the stomach, his boot slamming force into the soft flesh of her belly, her robes offering little to no resistance.

Rasmodius sank back, watching him handle Morgan with wide eyes.

William wondered if he should feel vindicated. Maybe satisfied? Yet, when he tried to reach for the normal, fuzzy, _good_ feelings that came from opening a can of whoop-ass, all he could touch within himself was chilled indifference. He reflected on this lack of passion as Morgan gasped, limp wrists crossed over her chest. She was scurrying back from him, sliding on her rear and pushing herself with her heels. William felt no pleasure out of watching her crawl like a rat. All pleasure had died a sudden and gruesome death. It was laying back behind a desk while Cameron stood vigil.

William sank into the cold. He would let the internal ice add support to his resolve.

“You have to bring him back,” he told Morgan, his voice as calm as if he were explaining how to weed the parsnip fields.

“What?” Morgan said, baffled and terrified.

William pointed at her with his stick.

“You can pull a magic Stardrop out of Yoba’s ass. You can bring Sebastian back.”

_Step 2. Explain to the target the parameters of its mission._

Done. Now they could move forward.

“Farmer William…” Ras said, uncertain, his eyes flicking to Morgan with concern, then back to William. He stared at him as if William were a crazy person.

_Fair assessment, Sparkletoes._

William pointed his pipe at Ras, his eyes keeping the green-faced witch pinned, the threat of violence enough of a restraint.

“Either help me, Rasmodius, or stay the fuck out of the way.”

The witch licked her lips, eyes shifting over him as if weighing her options. Her face was screwed up with pain and she closed her eyes, biting her lip. Then, just as if she’d cut off feeling in her hands, she relaxed, her eyes growing sharper as her mind ran through her.

“What you ask… it is difficult. One cannot simply bring a soul back from Yoba’s side.”

“Sounds like a ‘you’ problem,” William said.

“Farmer William,” Rasmodius tried to protest, “only Yoba can bring life where there is none. We _all_ die—”

William pointed the pipe at Morgan then looked at Ras. Rasmodius flinched when they met eyes. William didn’t know what he saw in his face that made Ras flinch, but he didn’t care. It was low on the priority list. Satisfied that Ras was going to stay out of this matter, he turned back to Morgan.

“Well, witch?” he said, his voice the same cold tone he’d use on a recruit he was instructing to scrub toilets with a tooth brush. “You have two choices here. Either you help me get back what you took, or I kill you and move on to another option.”

She nodded then. “I… I can help you.”

Ras sucked in a breath.

“Morgan,” he said sounding worried.

“Oh stuff your concern, Rasmodius. You are just as much my captor now as he is.” She turned her head to the side and spit contemptuously. A flash of pain ran across Ras’s features but they hardened. William stepped forward and hauled the witch up by one bony arm. Her hands flapped uselessly.

“Let me at least splint her wrists,” Ras snapped. “No need to be a barbarian here, William.”

William looked down at the witch’s impassive face that showed not one flash of pain over the way her wrists swelled and purpled.

“Fine. But once you’re done, I want you to bind her. Then she takes us to Yoba.”

“You know, Rasmodius,” the witch said as he began to pull small rods from his robes. “You could easily bring the Farmer to the Yoba Plane. I’m sure that if you just _ask nicely_ Yoba will appear for you.”

Ras scowled as he wrapped. “You know it’s dangerous to go there in physical form,” he growled as he stabilized one wrist and then the other.

“Ah yes, such a stickler for rules,” Morgan mocked, her voice biting. “I suppose you treat your vows the same?”

William turned away from their squabbling and stared off to where Cameron was hiding with Sebastian’s body.

Helpfully, his brain began to replay Sebastian’s death. He closed his eyes against the mental images.

_One hand outstretched against the blast meant for William. His body dropping like a sack of rags._

William shoved the image down.

He was going to get him back.

He’d promised to keep him safe.

He wasn’t going to fail one more person.

*

The little Junimo led him through the tall stalks until they came to a tree that was so tall it scraped the heavens, going so far up that Sebastian couldn’t see the top. Sebastian hesitated, daunted at the enormity of it. Yet, as he turned his head to question their destination, the Junimo danced up to the bark and waved its stringy little arms. A door opened in the side of the enormous trunk.

“Come!” the little creature crooned. “Time to go to Yoba!”

Sebastian peered into the darkness, but stepped forward. He supposed it was time to go to Yoba.

*

Morgan led them to the back of the laboratory, her face grim. William saw a large mirror much like the ones he’d seen in Rasmodius’s basement. In an awed voice Rasmodius said, “You created a portal to the Yoba Plane from the physical plane?”

“Just because you are limited by the rules of earthly and celestial separation doesn’t mean I am, Rasmodius,” Morgan said.

“Activate it,” William ordered, staring at his own impassive face. The witch stepped forward and murmured words that caused the crystals on the edge of the frame to glow. Then, the sharp surface bubbled like the surface of a lake. She looked over her shoulder at them.

“There, the way is open.”

William shoved her through first, then followed.

“Farmer William,” Ras said in his ear as they stepped into the Yoba Plane through the mirrors that the witch indicated. “This is madness.”

“No one told you to come,” William said, voice that same dead calm.

He looked around and immediately felt like they didn’t belong here. Just like before, when Ras had brought him here in his comatose state, the fields were full of the little soul/star fruits, long green stalks as high as their knees. Except now he could see odd shadows stepping and moving between the fields. He frowned, but when he focused the shadows disappeared. He could only really see them when he turned his head sideways, little blurs on the edge of his vision. Morgan’s biting reply distracted him from asking if they could see those shadows too.

“Yes, _husband_ ,” she said, silky voice despite her broken wrists, bound arms, and captive state. “ _Do_ let us go along without you.”

“Morgan is up to something dangerous. You are being very foolish to allow her to lead us,” Rasmodius said, eyes on his ex-wife. “The Yoba plane doesn’t operate on the rules that the mortal one does. Here, we are in the realm of spirits and souls. We cannot interact with the dead, nor can they with us. Are you sure about this?”

“Yes. I’m sure. She broke it, she fixes it. Isn’t that how the magic works?” William asked as he marched towards the tree that he and Rasmodius had climbed before.

“Bringing back the dead is a different cauldron of costs,” Rasmodius said grimly. “The veils between the Yoba Plane and Earth were not intended for the mere mortal to cross. Everything has a consequence. You must pay a price.”

“Like the price our marriage paid when you broke my faith?” Morgan sniffed derisively. “Save your sanctimonious lectures, Rasmodius. You fool no one.”

Williams shoved her forward a bit as they marched through the field. “Lady, I know you’re all bent out of shape over this—” He bit his tongue as the curse burned in his throat. He growled and then grit out, “Unfaithful _basketcase who_ couldn’t keep it in his pants, but you don’t have to go destroying everyone _else’s_ lives just because he ran off with someone else.”

“It didn’t quite happen like that,” Rasmodius sniffed.

“And how would you say it happened?” Morgan snapped.

Rasmodius sighed, frustrated. “Can we stay on topic about how raising the dead is a bad idea and generally leads to heartache and tragedy?”

“Heartache and tragedy is when your psycho ex-wife kills people in the name of jealousy,” William muttered.

“Well,” Morgan said, her tone reasonable. “I built an empire.”

“You started a war,” said William.

“War is good for business,” Morgan replied.

William absently shoved her farther along. She didn’t protest, even though he wondered how her hands weren’t killing her right now. She stepped confidently over the vines and walked. William stewed. She’d caused so much heartache. So much pain. All for revenge? Even when he and his fellow soldiers had been bombed, he’d never truly blamed the Gotoro soldiers who’d dropped the mortars. They’d all been cogs in the war machine. Yet, here he was, in front of the woman who had literally orchestrated the war by her own admission. Was such a thing truly possible? He frowned and slowed, glancing over at the fruit. Little images of people’s likenesses were still on them. That was eerie. Yet, if Rasmodius had been able to show him his own soul-fruit… did that mean that Sebastian…

Before he could complete the thought, Morgan suddenly dashed sideways, jumping a line of the little soul fruits. She phased right through them and tore off in the opposite direction, right back to the portal they’d all come from.

The swear burned William’s mouth as he leapt after her. She had bunched her fingers into the back of her skirts, her feet tearing towards the exit of the plane. His heart sank as he realized the amount of distance she’d managed to gain on him with the swift move.

Just as she’d almost made it, Rasmodius snapped a word out behind them and the portal closed. Morgan was in mid-dive and William was right behind her, tackling her to the dirt as the portal disappeared.

He landed on her hard and she finally gave a cry of pain and protest under his full body weight.

“Witch,” William snapped, unable to put a B in front of the word, “did you _think_ I was messing around?”

She struggled underneath him, gasping, “Let me up!”

“You’re lucky I don’t break your neck like I did your wrists,” he said, shifting to haul her up.

Rasmodius caught up with them and stared down, eyes wide at her boldness. “Did you think you’d lock us here, Morgan?”

She sighed. “Well it was a hope,” she admitted as she struggled against William’s hands.

“Was this all a trick?” William snapped, shifting his hold from her shoulders to her neck, ruddy fingers against green flesh. “Can you really bring him back?” Her glare goaded him to squeeze but Rasmodius snatched his wrist.

“The theory is simple,” Ras said softly, coaxing William’s murderous intentions back. “You restore the vessel and then coax the soul back into the body. In practice…”

“Something must be exchanged,” Morgan said softly, her voice rough under William’s fingers.

“What something?” William demanded

“Something you value, of course,” Morgan said.

That could literally be anything, he thought.

"It's an expensive thing you ask for, William," Rasmodius said with seriousness. "The life of one who has already passed."

"Well," Morgan said, offhandedly. “If he is willing to trade himself..."

"Trading is one thing, but you don't know what the Great Yoba will ask for," Rasmodius said.

"That's if he agrees to see you in the first place," Morgan scoffed.

William nodded, grim. "So. I trade for something important with something important. Seems simple enough."

He shifted and began to walk, pulling Morgan between him and Rasmodius as they marched towards the tree. They walked in silence then, silence that felt eerie as no birds sang. No wind rustled through the long stalks of plants. It was, William realized, as though they were on another planet. As before when he and Rasmodius were here, they came upon the large tree trunk that lead all the way to the sky.

"I cannot believe you expect me to be able to climb that with broken wrists," Morgan scoffed.

William looked at her and with a shrug, lifted her up over one shoulder. She shrieked in pained outrage as he threw her over his back.

"Lead the way."

*

The way up the tree was through a long and winding staircase. One that rolled up and over. Over and up. Sebastian felt like he was climbing for ages. Yet he never got tired. How odd was that? Never got tired of one foot in front of the other. Never got exhausted by one more step. One more stair. He looked left and right and slowed. He turned and looked behind himself. He couldn't see anything in the darkness. Couldn't see anything in the dim shadows of the tree. He swayed.

He was supposed to be...

"Follow!" urged one of the little Junimos, waving thready arms. "Follow and we will find it!"

Find it. Yes, he thought, turning back to take another step. That sounded right.

*

This trip up the tree was harder. Harder because hauling Morgan was heavy. Harder because unlike before when it had just been his mind following Rasmodius through his weird astral projection, now William could feel tired and his lungs labored. Harder because when they moved he could feel it. Feel how exhausted he was. Was the potion wearing off?

"You know, you can't trust that this will work," Rasmodius warned as they climbed.

William thought it was very unfair that Rasmodius should have so much extra breath that he could waste it on talking about this not working.

"Keep climbing," he grunted.

"I'm serious,” said Rasmodius. “She could be trying to lay a trap. She’s clever."

“Not clever enough to keep you interested in our marriage,” she snapped.

“If I could do things differently,” Rasmodius said, pulling himself up another few feet, “I would have done things differently, Morgan.”

“Have we forgotten,” William growled, “how she’s already tried to escape and lock us in an entirely different dimension?”

"I can still hear you both, you know," Morgan said from where she was draped over Will's shoulder. “You don’t have to act as though I am deaf.”

Will shrugged and she gasped, his shoulder hitting her right in her stomach. "Don't give me a reason to drop you, Witch," he said.

She gasped and panted, the jolt clearly bothering her.

"Why isn't she screaming about her broken bones?" William asked Ras. “Do you magic types not feel pain?"

"Mental pain blocks," Ras said. “She perfected it when we were young. She’s always been amazing at magical feats of the mind.”

"Barf," Will said, hauling them up a few more feet, the tips of his shoes digging in for purchase.

"Some of us have strong backs," Morgan said. "I happen to have a strong mind."

"But in the morning, you'll still have a face that looks like an avocado," William said through gritted teeth. "So. She has a strong mind. And she's evil as fuck."

“She wasn’t always evil,” Ras said, glancing back over.

“So sweet my husband is feeling today,” Morgan said sarcastically.

“It’s hard to talk to you when you avoid me, Morgan,” Rasmodius said, his voice more sincere.

William scowled at him. “She’s the enemy, Rasmodius. Eyes on the mission objective.”

“Oh?” Morgan said, amused. “Mission objective? Are we still in the military? I’ve been reading up on you, Sergeant Bauer. You were drummed out of your post for those _terrible_ injuries. Yet here you are, strong enough to carry a witch up the side of a tree on the quest for your poor lover. If you’d stayed out of it in the first place, you could be at home, tending your crops safe and sound. Do you think that it’s your part to be a hero?”

William froze, then gritted his teeth so hard that his jaw began to ache. He hauled them up another few feet, strength surging back up. Maybe the potion _was_ working, but he’d been pushing the limits it could give him. He exhaled through his nose and finally said, "My _part_ was to keep you people from destroying the valley. Did that bit. Then you killed my boyfriend. Not cool, Morgan."

"Did you ever wonder if you deserved to stop us?" Morgan wondered aloud.

"Did you ever wonder if maybe starting a war with another country wouldn't get a lot of people killed? If I didn't need you, I'd drop you right here and now."

"Such idle threats. You murdered when it was your job. I doubt you would murder otherwise."

“Morgan,” Rasmodius said warningly.

William gripped the bark harder and glared up at their destination, the top of the climb. "What about our conversations that we've had lately has indicated that I am of sound mind and body, and am not somehow a homicidal maniac?"

"The fact that you care so much about another person that you are literally on a plane of death to return him to your side," Morgan said, smug.

“Caring doesn’t make someone weak,” Rasmodius said, his voice odd, his eyes locked onto the witch.

William felt an uneasiness in his stomach at the intent way that the wizard looked at his ex-wife, as if he was seeing something new there. William shrugged his shoulder hard enough to make her 'oomph' again. Rasmodius looked away.

"Shut up, Witch," William ordered in a tone that brooked no argument.

They climbed the rest of the way in silence.

*

When Sebastian got to the top of the steps, he was looking up at the world. It was beautiful, like a glistening sapphire rotating above them. He stared at it, wondering how he was able to see the planet this way, white clouds skimming across the surface in creamy swirls.

"Hello," a kindly voice said. Sebastian turned his head and saw a man wrapped in a robe, a watering can in one hand and a shovel in the other, looking for all the world like a farmer. His face was hidden by a hood pulled far over his head.

"Hello," Sebastian greeted, looking around them. "Where are we?"

"We are in my garden," the man said, sounding gentle and soft. "Where I plant new seeds."

"Oh," Sebastian said. "I don't know how I got here."

"You are waiting," the man said, stepping closer, "to be planted anew so you may begin once more."

Sebastian stared, then nodded, as the man got bigger and bigger and he got smaller and smaller and smaller.

*

William pulled himself up to the top of the tree and dumped Morgan on her side. She rolled over onto one hip and scowled at him, then froze as she cast her eyes around. William followed her gaze and frowned. There was another figure up on top of the Shrine. He carried a watering can and a shovel and was speaking to a Junimo. Just as it looked as though he was going to give the Junimo a seed, the man stopped and turned, but no face could be seen underneath his hood.

"We went the wrong way," Morgan said, frantically trying to worm her way down and back onto Will's shoulder. Rasmodius also looked white-faced, but before he could tell William why the hell Morgan was freaking the fuck out, the man spoke.

"I sense a Farmer."

The words rolled through him. William felt as though someone had called him for duty. He pushed to his feet.

"I am a Farmer," he said, swallowing back his apprehension.

"And where do you farm?"

"In the Stardew Valley."

The man regarded William. William wasn't sure how he knew this, as he couldn't see the man's face at all. It was just a pool and hole of black shadow. Yet he could feel the eyes on him.

"I also see a thief," the man said, turning to look at Morgan. Then to Rasmodius, "And I see a man who must reconcile his heart."

Rasmodius knelt down on the ground and opened his mouth only to have no words come out.

"I do not need you to speak," the hooded man said, and William felt a shiver run down his back. The cloaked figure had shut Rasmodius up as if he were shutting a can, or closing a box. William’s brain began to catch up with the rest of him, adding factors together. Morgan's fear. Ras's sudden silence. Comprehension on who he was in the presence of sank in. Just as it did, William sank to his knees.

"You are the mighty Yoba,” William said, awed. “The god who created our earth and who created humans." He felt terrified and triumphant at the same time. If anyone could bring back Sebastian, truly it had to be this entity.

"I am Yoba. But, dear boy, all I did was plant a seed. Within seeds are more magic than anyone can imagine.”

"I came to you because the witch said that she could bring my lover back to life," William said, feeling earnest terror as he spoke.

"You ask for one who has only created destruction to then create life? Such a thing cannot be done. What you ask is impossible.”

William’s heart slammed at the words and he looked sideways at Morgan, who was shaking. Clearly this little romp through the Yoba Plane had not been what she thought it would be. William refocused on Yoba.

“If she cannot give me what she claims, perhaps you can assist me?”

“All things must have a cycle, Farmer,” Yoba said, his voice tinged with sadness.

William let out a breath and moved forward. “It wasn’t his time, Great Yoba,” he said, still on his knees. “I will give you anything you ask, pay you any price, if you will help me restore him.”

Yoba gazed. William wasn’t sure if looking into the face of the god was rude or not, but he wasn’t sure how else to give his sincerity weight. So he stared.

It was a moment that stretched like taffy, minutes that felt like hours, before the hooded man turned away.

“Follow,” the entity said, voice as soft as the new leaves pushing through dirt.

William pushed to his feet, moving to follow the hooded man. Standing, William found that he was… taller than the being. He followed as Yoba glided forward.

“You are not only a farmer,” the entity said as he moved across the platform. William swallowed and nodded. Though he wasn’t facing him, Yoba seemed to see his nod. “You have killed. You have pride. You have farmed, but also sought to pull ore from the earth. Shells from the shore. Fish from the sea.”

William held himself still. Fidgeting had been trained out of him.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Yoba asked, stopping in the middle so that they could view the edge of the vast field.

“Doesn’t seem a point to argue with facts,” William said.

Yoba gave a soft chuckle. “No defensive statements? No blaming others for your actions, Farmer?”

William swallowed the temptation. The deep and hungry temptation to say that killing those men had been his job, not something that he wanted to do, but it had still been his choice. He wanted to say that his flaws were the fault of others, but that would be a lie, and while he knew he had made mistakes of the intellectual variety before, he wasn’t fucking stupid enough to attempt that sort of pansy-assed excuse-fest with the creator of his world.

“I did those things,” William said softly, “and I once tried to hide from it. And when I did that, I didn’t just hurt myself. I hurt those around me. Some of them so deep that they never will come back. So after that day, I promised myself that I would face my challenges Head On.”

“And that includes the god of creation,” Yoba asked.

William wasn’t sure if he was amused or just feeling contrary. “If that’s what it takes,” he said, eyes out on the endless fields. “Even the god of creation.”

"You may tell me what you want," Yoba said as they looked out into the fields. "And in exchange, I will tell you what you must do to earn it."

William swallowed. The words were what he needed to come out with.

"I want..."His mouth felt dry, and he let out a breath. "I want you to give Sebastian a second chance. Restore him whole and let him live a full life."

Yoba nodded and turned.

"Then, in exchange for this, you need only plant this seed."

William stared. "What?"

Yoba smiled and then leaned forward, his fingers sliding out like vines and opening William’s hand.

"You are a farmer. Here is a seed. You wish to bring life? You must plant the seed and nurture the growth."

William stared down at the seed and then up at Yoba.

“What is the cost?” he breathed, looking back down at the seed.

“If you fail,” Yoba said, his voice firm, “you must live alone with your failure. You may not end your own life. You may not follow where he goes until it is your time. If you do, you will never see one another ever again, not in this afterlife or the next.”

William swallowed, feeling as though Yoba had seen into his heart, seen his contingency plan if he were to fail. The worst case scenario was laid out with no mercy. If he failed, he would have to live with that pain, live a life of solitude, completely alone. He closed his eyes and nodded, closing his fist around the seed.

“I...accept.”

"Now," the kindly, faceless farmer said. “One more matter to discuss." William saw him turn to Ras and Morgan, who were still sitting. "What I am going to do with you two?”

William blinked. He'd almost forgotten about the witch and wizard while he was trying to figure out what the hell he was going to ask Yoba for to get Sebastian back.

"Thieves must be punished," Yoba said.

"You have never been a god of retribution," Morgan said, stiff and terrified.

"Maybe it's time he got in the business," William muttered, glaring at the evil old hag.

"It is not about retribution. It is about balance. I will allow you to begin tending to the fields that you have disrupted."

At Morgan's blank look, Yoba's shoulders shook in amusement. "You believe that you should hold the secrets of the Stardrops without earning them, dear girl."

"I..."

Then her voice cut off.

"Mighty Yoba, what would you have her do?" Rasmodius asked, looking apprehensive.

"I would have her raise a Stardrop from seed to fruit," Yoba said, firm.

"Then...mighty Yoba, I would help her."

William stared.

"Are you f—" He swallowed as the Yoba plane's weird restrictions on basic cursing burned his mouth.

"Gentle words," Yoba said, his voice a croon. “Harsh words are bad for the plants."

William didn't agree, but then this wasn't his house, was it?

"I know you think I am insane, William, but your quest has proven something to me," Rasmodius said.

"What?"

"That love is the most important thing."

Morgan eyed him with suspicion.

"And it must be earned with trust," Ras said, staring at Morgan.

"You know that she created a soul sucking commercial empire, started a multi-national war, created circumstances for the death of innocent people from both countries, stole mystical fruit from a Godplane, and tried to enslave a country to an addictive substance, all because she was angry at you for not keeping it in your pants, right? And that's the love you want to tie yourself to?”

"When you put it like that, " Yoba said, “it sounds insane."

William frowned. The god turned towards Ras. “She must atone, Wise One. If you remain here, you will carry half of her load. You will endure her hardships. You will suffer her trials and experience her redemption. The road to redemption is a jagged and rough path that changes those who walk it."

“I must do my own atoning,” Rasmodius said, his eyes locked on the green-faced hag.

“Do I get a say in this?” Morgan asked dryly.

Ras knelt next to her, eyes focused on her, as if he saw someone beyond the pock-marked flesh, beyond the lime skin and straw-like hair.

“It’s a second chance, Morgan. I hate seeing you in pain. Hated seeing the jealousy curse change you...please. Once more, let’s try.”

She stared at him, her brows drawn. She shook her head.

“You don’t mean that,” she whispered, vulnerability breaking through her voice. “And now I look like...this.”

“I don’t care how you look,” Rasmodius said.

Morgan and Ras gazed at each other, and William felt like he was intruding. Then Ras’s shoulders tightened in resolution. He turned towards Yoba.

“I wish to stay.”

“Then such is your choice,” Yoba said smoothly. He turned towards the middle of the large platform and William hesitated, looking at Rasmodius.

“Wizard, are you sure, man? She’s sort of a hateful cow. None of this would have happened if it hadn’t been for her.”

“I find that the older I get, the more difficult it is to blame one action as the sole cause for a series of events. I broke vows. I destroyed trust and the ripples of that decision contributed to the current environment. I must take responsibility.”

William let out a breath and then looked down at the seed in his hand. It was heavier than any seed he’d ever held.

“I can’t stay here, Ras,” William said, his shoulders feeling heavy. “And without you or Morgan to open up the plane...”

“I will care for your return,” Yoba said.

Rasmodius put his hand on William’s shoulder. “You and Sebastian can use my tower while I am gone. Try to keep people from getting into trouble, hmm? Morgan and I will one day return.”

William scowled at the witch who was curled miserably and hatefully on the floor, her hair sticking to her forehead as if it was sweating into place. “Take your time,” William said. Rasmodius didn’t laugh but nodded solemnly.

“Luck, Farmer William. These challenges are rarely what they appear.”

William nodded and turned away, knowing it might be the last time he ever saw the salty old wizard ever again.

Yoba led him to the edge of the tree.

“How do I know what to do with this seed?” William asked, looking troubled at the small weight he carried in his palm.

“A true farmer knows where to plant that which he grows.”

Then, before William could ask him anything else, Yoba gently pushed him forward, off the edge of the tree.

*

William stepped out of thin air into the barren ruins of the Joja lab. The stark lighting and bright paint of the room was a 180 to the warm lights and soft feel of the Yoba Plane. The room smelled of dust and caustic cleaners, and the stone floor under his feet crunched with broken plastic and glass from Ras and Morgan’s epic battle. Cameron was sitting with his knees pulled to his chest, Sebastian’s body laid out on the floor, covered by a tarp that he’d found from somewhere. William’s stomach churned.

“How long have I been gone?” he asked, stepping forward, that seed still cupped in his palm.

Cameron raised his head and stared at him, surprised. He swallowed, then looked at his wrist. “Less… less than an hour.”

It had felt longer.

William knelt next to Sebastian, and for a moment his mind went blank. He had to plant the seed? But where? There was no earth here. There was no place to put the little seed. He swallowed then reached for the tarp. Cameron put his hand over Will’s questing fingers.

“You don’t want to see that,” he whispered.

William pulled back on the covering anyway.

Sebastian’s face was pale and blue. He didn’t look like himself, not at all. William swallowed but pulled the rest of the tarp farther away.

His eyes drew down to the hole in his lover’s chest, the way the blood soaked his dark hoodie and had congealed and stiffened against the fabric. Yet…

William looked at where the seed in his hand was cupped. It pulsed light between his fingers. Instinct pushed him forward and he laid the seed over Sebastian’s body, right in the dent where Morgan’s blast had concaved his chest.

The seed glowed for a moment, hovered, then sank into the space. And nothing else happened.

William swallowed, horrified. Had he just wasted the chance? Had he just misunderstood? Had all of it… the entire quest been for nothing? He leaned back on his heels and reeled internally. He’d failed. The seed was gone. He’d wasted it. Perhaps when Yoba had said to plant it, he meant in dirt, like a normal seed. William’s hands began to shake but he couldn’t look away, begging, silently demanding that the seed sprout.

Nothing.

A sob racked through his chest and he curled over Sebastian, silent tears flowing from his eyes onto the gore-soaked man. He clung to him and rocked, realizing that it was useless. That nothing was going to happen.

As his tears hit the body though, as he poured out his grief and love and need for it to somehow be okay… a bright light encased Sebastian. William flinched back, the light _hot_ in its intensity. Cameron gasped and they both shielded their gaze as Sebastian’s limp body rose from the ground. From his chest, leaves and flowers sprouted into many colored sparkles. William held his hands up to shield his eyes but watched, awestruck, as the power bloomed forth and began to heal Sebastian of his injuries. The blood disappeared, the fabric mending. The belt that William and Cameron had wrapped around Sebastian’s chest to hold his dislocated shoulder slipped off and fell to the ground with a rattle. The light poured from his body and then suddenly pulled in, until there was just a soft glow where his heart should be. It pulsed once. Twice and he sank, whatever power that had pulled him up, letting him down. William stared, mouth open.

Sebastian finally was sitting, and then, he inhaled. Cameron gasped and began to cry and William knew he was crying but he didn’t care. He surged forward as Sebastian’s eyes opened.

“Sebastian?” he asked, desperate to be sure that it was real.

“Will?”

William dragged him close, and then Cameron was on the other side and the three men hugged.

William wasn’t sure how long it lasted, but finally Cameron staggered up.

“I’m going to call for help now,” Cameron said, wiping his eyes. “I was able to unlock the doors.”

William nodded, feeling as though the potion, which was supposed to last at least another day, was starting to wear off. Maybe he’d overdone it?

When they were alone, sitting in the ruins of the lab, Sebastian hugged him tight. William’s shoulders shook, harder than before as relief set in. The emotional tourniquet that he’d wrapped around his heart snapped and he curled down, folding Sebastian in.

He’d done it this time. Sebastian was warm and alive in his arms, breathing and moving. They could have a future. They could have a chance. All of the things William had felt flooded in. He’d regretted never taking Sebastian out on a real date. Thought of all the ways he could have shown him that he loved him. Introduced him properly to his family, brought him out to meet old friends. But now? Now they had one more chance. Sebastian clung to him as he sobbed. Soon, it felt as though every tear, every breath he had to spare on the emotional turmoil had slipped out of his body. He felt exhausted, felt the weight of his relapse, his battle for their lives and his final quest to pull Sebastian back to him.

He looked up and around them. The lab was cold and dead, and people were coming in. They were emergency personnel. Cameron had pulled through after all. As they got to their feet, Sebastian curled pale fingers into his own tattooed hand.

“It’s going to be okay now, isn’t it?” he whispered.

“Yeah, Bastian” William said, closing his eyes to savor the strength in his long fingers. “It’s going to be just fine.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you like what you just experienced, please let me know in the comments below. If commenting intimidates you, you can leave a kudo or make a bookmark. Tell your friends what I'm up to over here, friends. I love writing and having my stories read is what clears my skin, waters my crops and brings sunshine to my rainy days.
> 
> If you ever want behind the scenes commentary or discussion, please follow me on [Tumblr](https://dracoangelicawritesfanfiction.tumblr.com/). My askbox stays open and I love to talk to anyone who wants to chat.
> 
> Thank you as always to my two amazing betas and best friends [TurtleTotem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleTotem/works) and [GingerDelight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/works) for helping me improve the quality of my work each and every week. Go read their stuff. Its amazing.
> 
> I update on Saturdays between 8-10pm CST. Chapter 50 will go live Saturday, February 24th, same William time, Same William place.


	50. Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> Extreme fluff and Happy Endings

((THREE MONTHS LATER))

The courtroom was very full. Sebastian's palms were damp and he rubbed them against his dark pants. Will reached over and took his hand, squeezing it in reassurance. His head was swimming. They'd been in court for three days laying out the fraud, conspiracies and violations that Joja Corp had done, along with the blackmailing. He glanced over at Will in the hard seats of the plaintiff table. It had been, he decided, a strange twelve weeks.

"As the court can attest," their lawyer said, wrapping up his closing arguments, his sharp eyes focused on the jury, "my clients were kidnapped and only through their swift thinking did these two young men manage to blow the whistle on dangerous and fraudulent practices led and run by the Joja corporation. As we've seen in the exhibits, it was a long recovery from what Joja did."

Not, Sebastian thought, necessarily the truth. Will's recovery was from the side effects of Ras's potion to get him through the hump of his withdrawal and their quest, but no one could prove that.

"The mines that Joja set their operations in were on public land and my clients had a legal and protected right to mine out the ores within them when they stumbled upon this illegal and fraudulent operation. It is my hope that today, you the jury will give them justice. Thank you," their lawyer concluded.

The people behind them shifted and whispered as the defense stood to give their closing arguments. The lawyer was thin and had a nervous gait and he paced the galley, listing a few facts about corporate rights, the improvements that Joja had made to the areas they'd overtaken, flashing pictures of the injured Joja security guards and reminding the court that William had been the one to initiate such attacks. He pulled trespassing charges and pleaded with the jury to remember that every procedure had been fairly and justly followed in enacting their business. When he was through, the judge told the jury to adjourn and then everyone got up.

Will and his parents had, Sebastian decided, the look of a team of people ready to fight for more than just justice. They seemed focused on getting revenge.

Sebastian felt like he was in a whirlpool. He'd had that feeling ever since they'd been freed from their capture. Yet as he stood to leave, Will's arm was over his shoulder, and he relaxed. It was an anchor in this storm. A place to rest while they were thrown around by the consequences of their quest. No one, he frowned, told the heroes that at the end of the journey you'd be called to court for beheading the evil dragon, and asked to pay reparations to the dragon protection fund. It was ridiculous.

Angie and David were staying in a hotel across the street from the courthouse for the duration of the trial. They walked into the room, waiting on the jury's decision, away from the press. Sebastian sank into Will's side on the couch.

"They'd be fools to rule in favor of Joja," Angie, Will's mom, declared.

Sebastian slipped his hand into Will's and watched as she walked back and forth, a cream-colored dress around her like a sheath, each step of her foot sharp on the tile. She reminded Sebastian of William, the way she glared at the wall as if it would submit to her willpower alone. Sebastian leaned his head on Will's shoulder and watched Will's father, David, sitting steady across from him. He felt a kinship to the man. Whereas Angie had been probing and sharp, David was like a stone, unfazed by his son and wife's outbursts as they'd prepared for trial.

"Honey," David said, watching as she paced back and forth, worrying at a diamond tennis bracelet on her wrist. “Settle. You're making me dizzy and making the boys nervous."

Angie huffed, sat next to him and absently 'thwapped' him with her cream colored clutch.

"I'm not making anyone nervous," she declared, and using the same clutch, pointed it back at the jury. “THEY are making ME nervous."

"Ma," Will finally said, “hush. No point chewing on it. We've been chewing on the trial for weeks." He pushed to his feet.

"Where are you going?" Angie asked as Sebastian stood to join him.

"To go get a smoke and some food," he declared, wrapping an arm around Sebastian's shoulder. "Who knows how long they'll be?"

"What about the press?" David asked.

Will waved his hand to the side as if things like The Press didn't affect him. Sebastian waited until he was outside before checking his phone. Their friends were in the parking garage where they’d dodged the pack of press camped at the front of the hotel.

"Sam and Abby are waiting for us downstairs," he reported, glancing back up at Will.

Will grunted, translation: Good.

He'd realized more and more that Will, at his most comfortable, would prefer to use facial expressions, body language, and vocalization as opposed to real words. On the one hand, it made his friends impressed when he seemed to read his boyfriend's mind. On the other, having a real conversation could be like pulling duck teeth.

Still. He'd been closer than ever to him emotionally since they'd gotten out of the mines. For a solid week, Will had been trapped in bed. The blow back from Rasmodius's stupid potion had been just as debilitating as the man warned.

But Sebastian had been there. He'd had to shoo Cameron off after the second day. The man might be a nurse and know the business of healthcare, but he fussed entirely too much for anyone to be able to relax around him. One week of bed-rest had made William cranky. Yet, after much grousing and grumping, Sebastian had gotten him on his feet, and they’d walked around his house. One more week and he was able to start working on his farm again. Between the travel to their lawyer’s office to build their claim against Joja and the rebuilding of the community center, Will was back to full strength. The purpose of the work was exactly what he needed.

"How you holding up?" Will asked as they started to the side of the building where Sam and Abby waited with their getaway car.

Sebastian looked at him sideways."How am I holding up? You were the one that was cross-examined for forty minutes this morning."

"Ain't as bad as a court martial," Will said.

"You're full of shit," said Sebastian.

Will stiffened, then smirked at him, sheepish.

_Ha_ , Sebastian thought, as a surge of triumph filled him.

It was like he was bug hunting in code, figuring out the moments when Will was deflecting his real concerns for the sake of appearances. After the last near eight weeks of constantly seeing Will's mom and dad, Sebastian realized of course he did. Will's mom was as focused as a terrier with a bone when it came to sniffing out problems, and the merest hint that something might not be on the level was like spraying the room full of bacon perfume and shouting 'here girl!'

"I'm fine," Sebastian said, answering the original question.

"They might not rule for us."

"Statistically improbable," Sebastian disagreed as they stopped at the elevator.

"How do you figure?" Will asked, sticking his hands in his suit pockets.

The doors to the elevator opened and they stepped inside. Will punched the button for down.

"Because the jury is on our side. They've shown it since yesterday. When we showed them the photos, four people flinched. When we explained the effects of the syrup, over half of them were swearing. This might go all the way up to the national and international levels if they could figure out where the ties with Gotoro are."

William regarded him in the elevator as if he were something new, then reached over and hit the 'stop' key on the control board. Sebastian jumped and stared up at him. Will was intense, moving close, then catching him under the chin and pressing him against the wall.

Sebastian's heart _slammed_. He melted into the kiss.

It had been weeks; weeks of Will's recovery. Weeks of the trial and the law and the police running over the town. Weeks of his own family being worried and the press digging into their lives about this case.

But for this one, stolen moment, they were alone, just the two of them in this elevator, reconnecting.

He savored it.

It was, he reflected three hours later, as they stood in the courtroom and waited for the verdict, one of the treasured moments that had sustained him during the stress of being under scrutiny.

"We, the jury, find Joja Corporation guilty of treason of the highest order," the jury read.

And just like that.

They'd won. Joja would be forced to shut down all operations under their current leadership. The company would have to liquidate all their assets and pay reparations to all of those on the lawsuit and anyone else who submitted and proved a claim of harm against them.

They could finally go home.

*

((FOUR MONTHS AFTER THE JOJA TRIAL))

William sat in the passenger side of the truck and let the engine click to a slow stop, staring grimly at the brick building. Sebastian shifted, looking over at him, then at the building, then back. William checked his watch and reached for the pack of cigarettes he'd bought at the gas station. He rolled the windows down, and silently he and Sebastian lit and inhaled, blowing the heavy, sweet tobacco out the windows.

"You know, I don't have to go in," Sebastian offered.

Tempting.

Too tempting.

"Not ashamed," William said, taking another puff.

_Great_ , he thought, eyes on the door of the building. _S_ _tart lying. That always worked out well for you, Bauer._

"It's not about shame," Sebastian said, reaching out, taking his hand. “It's about not rushing through this. It's not a race to 'Better', Will."

"It's just a meeting," William said grimly, ashing the cigarette out the window. “It'll be fine."

Sebastian didn't look away. Instead he pressed himself against Will’s arm, his head on his shoulder."I'm proud of you," he said softly. “Okay?"

"For what? Going into a room to tell a bunch of other losers what a loser I am?"

"You're not a loser," Sebastian said softly, fingers running over his fingers, tracing thorns on his knuckles. “Because a loser wouldn't do the things you're doing. They'd be off still pretending they don't have a problem."

William sighed, but his self-loathing couldn't hold up well against the soft touch of his Sebastian's hands.

"You might hear things in there, at these meetings... things that change the way you look at me."

Sebastian raised his head.

"Will, did knowing about my assault change the way you looked at me?"

William frowned. What sort of boneheaded—oh. He looked down at Sebastian's patient face.

"Of course not," he said softly, pulling him into his chest.

"Then there you go.” Sebastian hugged him. "Nothing can change the way I see you, Will. We've been through too much. Those things you did? Those are things you did. _You_ aren't those things. And you aren't what happened to you."

"Then why am I here again?" William asked dryly.

"Because," Sebastian said, squeezing his hand. “Just because you aren't those things, doesn't mean that you're coping well."

William sighed then nodded, pulling the keys out of the ignition.

The inside of the building was sparse. It was the Stardew County Civic Center and there were faded posters on the wall, plastic chairs, and a table with pre-packaged cookies and coffee. A thin woman wearing a badge that said 'Moderator' was standing at the entrance.

William and Sebastian sat in the room, which gradually filled with about a dozen other men and women.

People talked and William listened, his hand locked on Sebastian's. They heard from a woman who had just hit her fourth month clean from methamphetamines. A man who was two years clean from cocaine. He outlined his drug use and how it had destroyed his career. An older woman explained her addiction to pain pills. People from all walks of life stood up and spoke. Not everyone. Not about a lot. Someone just stood, announced that her husband agreed to let her see her children. Someone else stood to tell the room that he was getting a divorce after all. Some had victories and others had sorrows. They all just talked.

Yet, William felt like he owed these people more than just sitting and listening to their confessions.

So he stood and went to the podium when the last shaking addict stepped off. He felt his hands go numb and shake as he stared down, unable to meet the eyes of those around him at first, before he raised his head and locked his gaze onto the only person who mattered in the room.

He cleared his throat and then leaned forward into the speaker.

"Hello, my name is William. And I'm an addict."

*

((FIVE MONTHS AFTER THE JOJA TRIAL))

"I didn't think so many people would come," Sam said, peeking over the edge of the stage.

Sebastian turned his head but Abby jerked his chin back.

"I swear to God, Seb, if you move your head one more damn time, I'm going to intentionally blind you with eyeliner."

Sebastian stilled and sighed. "Sam, it's going to be fine."

"Yeah, but there are at least a hundred people out there! And we don't start for another 15 minutes."

Sebastian smiled. Angie was well connected, and a few name drops about the New and Upcoming Musician from Pelican Town had brought a lot of interest for the local Zuzu music scene.

"Sam, I'm going to start a drinking game," Abigail announced, as she looked critically at Sebastian's face. "For every time you peek your head out of that stage, I'm taking a shot."

"You'll get sick," Will warned as he set up the last of their equipment in the corner.

Ever since Sebastian had started trying to organize the re-do of their festival performance, Will had been his champion, helping him find space, loading and unloading all their equipment, and going to his mom's brunches at least three times in the last month to help spread the words among his mom's crowd.

Sebastian was, he reflected, getting used to Brunches. Though they were uncomfortable and awkward, being there at Will's side was a lot better than being adrift among the Movers and Shakers of Zuzu. Still, David, Will's dad, was a nice man and often didn't seem to mind if Sebastian sought refuge in his library. Even if he was a little cool with him, Sebastian had a feeling it was only a matter of time before he warmed up to the older man.

"Okay guys," Will said. "I'll get out of your hair."

Abby looked up. "Thanks, Squatch."

"Any time, Spooks."

Sam paced back over and pulled his guitar out, tuning it again for the third time.

"Stop being nervous," Abby chided, putting away her make-up brushes and spraying a setting spray over Sebastian's face. He wriggled his nose at the brief but cloying scent of roses. "We've been practicing for six weeks. We sound better than ever."

Sam nodded then swallowed. "Yeah, yeah," he said.

Abby put the make-up to the side and brushed off her hands, then crossed over, cupped Sam's cheeks and gave him a hard kiss. His hand froze on the guitar. Sebastian grinned. It was the first time she'd kissed him in front of both of them. She seemed to realize what she'd done and they both looked suddenly guilty over at him.

"What?" Sebastian asked, amused. "It's honestly about fucking time."

Sam blushed and coughed, standing awkwardly, all his normal smoothness gone. Abby winked at Sebastian and he sighed in relief at the easiness between them.

"Well, c'mon boys. Let's go Rock!"

*

William leaned back in the chair next to his Mom and Cameron at the end of Sebastian's show. It had been amazing, he reflected. Better than the first ill-fated show in Zuzu. The three of them played well, Sam leading the show with Abby's strong drums as the foundation of his speed, Sebastian's precise keyboard a paintbrush of sound and accent over their sets. The crowd had reacted well, dancing and singing to the energy the three of them had together. The set lasted four songs, people having a great time around them at the concert.

"I have to say," Cameron said thoughtfully, "I didn't think that Sebastian would be so talented with his hands."

William rolled his eyes. "Baker, if it's up to me, you'll never know exactly how talented he is with those hands."

"Boys," Angie chided, "it was an excellent show." She gave them both a quelling look that was about as effective as spritzing a bonfire with a spray bottle. Then she brightened. The producer she had pointed out earlier was approaching Sam. "Look, Howard is already speaking to their band leader. He has excellent taste."

William winked at Cam who smirked back.

"So, Ma," Will asked, throwing an arm over her shoulder, "how do you feel about having a rocker as a son-in-law?"

Cameron turned his head, intrigued.

"You think this one will stick, Bauer?" he asked, mocking. But there was no heat to it.

William wasn't quite sure _how_ or _when_ his ex-fiancé and current boyfriend had become friends, but whatever animosity he'd have expected from them hadn't manifested. Turns out that saving the world together was quite the bonding experience.

"Like glue, Baker. Like glue."

"William," Angie said, barely holding in her excitement. “Are you saying what I think you are?"

William lifted his head to where Sebastian was clapping Sam on the back while he stared wide-eyed at Howard the producer. "I think," he said, memorizing the way Sebastian stood on that stage, eyeliner dark against his pale skin, "I'm saying exactly what you're thinking."

*

((SIX MONTHS AFTER THE JOJA TRIAL))

The hum of the tattoo gun ran over the rock music that Will’s tattoo artist Poe kept on in the corner of her bright and sterile room. The artist would run the gun over a few lines, then gently wipe the area with a folded cloth she'd soaked in disinfectant. The gun had a plastic covering fastened with a rubber band and looked awkward, yet the artist moved it as graceful as a paintbrush.

Sebastian didn't know what he'd been expecting when Will had taken him to his artist. A big man with 'Mom' written on his chest or something. Maybe someone as burly and macho as William. Instead Poe was a pixie of a girl, her hair a shock of bright blue. Her ears held twenty different piercings and her lobes were gauged. She was Punk Rock Barbie, Sebastian decided, in a full skirt dress and heels, art decorating two full sleeves and legs covered in different styles of ink masters that she'd worked with and known over the years.

She had greeted Will with a squeal and hug when they'd come into the little shop. On the wall, Sebastian had been surprised to see Will's large back piece, fresh and a little swollen, in a frame as part of a mural of different art pieces that she'd done over the years. She'd flipped the 'closed' sign as she'd brought them to the back, chattering excitedly at Will, who seemed more amused than annoyed at the bright gossip. People and places that Sebastian had never known and heard of. He was getting used to that when they came to the city. Will had grown up in Zuzu and, it seemed to Sebastian, made it his personal mission to interact with at least fifty different people a day.

Sebastian found he had a hard time watching as ink and beads of blood smeared Will's skin under the needle, but Will didn't flinch as the thin and heavily inked woman outlined and colored in the design that Will had kept a secret from him.

"So," Poe asked, her eyes focused on the developing blue blob on the hollow of Will's collarbone. "You interested in a tattoo, Sebastian?"

Sebastian coughed then sat, shaking his head.

"Will has enough for both of us," he said, slipping a hand into Will's thick and callused palm.

She smiled affectionately at Will and looked back down at her work.

"He is my _favorite_ canvas," she said with pride.

"You say that to everyone," Will rumbled, eyes half closed as if the inking was a massage and not dozens of needles being shoved in and out of his skin at high speeds.

"It's true," Poe said defensively. "See his knuckles? That was my first hand tattoo."

Sebastian blinked. He figured Will had only gotten that done about two years ago. "How long have you been doing this?"

"It'll be three years at the end of winter," Poe said, pulling the needle back to wipe away the excess ink. She dipped her needle then went back to work. "I had just gotten this dump and Will came and helped me fix it up in exchange for ink."

Will went to shrug and she pulled her needle back and thumped him on the side of the head.

"Use your words, buddy, or you're going to fuck me up."

He raised an eyebrow and said, exasperation in his voice, "It wasn't a big deal, Poe. I got the better end of the bargain."

She rolled her eyes then went back to work.

"He was also my first big commission,” she said, running the needle in swirls over the blue mass. Sebastian stared as it began to take shape, his heart starting to pound in recognition.

"First paycheck I got, I spent it on that back piece you designed," Will agreed, now watching Sebastian watch Poe's developing art.

"It was better than the eagle," she sniffed.

"Leave my eagle alone. I like him.”

Sebastian ignored their bickering. He was too locked on the spiral blue shell that was forming under Poe's needle.

"What is this thing, anyway?" Poe asked as she switched to white, adding depths and highlights to the piece.

"It's a mermaid's pendant," Sebastian said, turning to meet Will's eyes.

"Yeah," Will said, softly, looking at Sebastian.

Sebastian felt something swell in his stomach and tears came to his eyes. He closed them tightly.

"A normal person would just ask, dumb ass," he said, feeling choked.

Poe glanced up from her work, confused.

"There is," Will said, his thumb carefully running a circle over Sebastian's knuckles, "where Seb is from, a legend about a mermaid who fell in love with a sailor. She gave him an amulet for protection and as a symbol of her love."

"The shells can only be found on our beaches," Sebastian said softly, eyes locked on the growing detail of the pendant on Will's skin. It would, he realized, sit right over his heart, just over the outstretched wings of his eagle.

"When someone from Pelican Town wants to propose," Will said softly, fingers still brushing those nervous circles over his knuckles. “He gives a pendant for his beloved to wear." Will reached into his pocket then and pulled out a small, velvet bag. Sebastian’s eyes widened and he accepted it, spilling out the blue pendent into his hand.

Poe leaned back, looking between them and then smiled, her cheeks bright from enthusiasm.

"That's so beautiful!"

Sebastian stared at their clasped hands.

William, his proud and defensive boyfriend, was asking him this question while he lay, vulnerable on his back, getting the proof of his desires inked into his flesh. Asking him without knowing for sure his answer...

"Yes," Sebastian said.

"Yes?" Will repeated, eyes locked on him with the intensity of a man looking for gold.

Sebastian nodded, shaking with his enthusiasm.

*

((SEVEN MONTHS AFTER THE JOJA TRIAL))

"How much stuff do you have?" William groused as he hauled boxes into his new truck.

"Stop whining," Sebastian said, "and be careful with those graphics cards."

"Am I moving in my boyfriend or a computer workshop?"

"You're about to move in a kick in the pants.” Sebastian walked his motorcycle up the ramp onto William's truck.

William nudged him with his shoulder and Sebastian flushed and shoved him back. They finished loading up the last of the boxes and Robin came out to meet them as William was pushing the tailgate.

"I'll be out tomorrow to help you work on the Barn," she said, giving first Sebastian and then William a hug.

William was grateful for her expertise. "I'll see you at the build site bright and early," he promised, looping an arm over Sebastian's shoulder.

They got into the truck and Sebastian stretched, not bothering with the passenger side of the long bench seat, pressing up against his side as they drove the short trip from Robin's back to their place.

The wedding had been quicker than lightning. Three days of frenzied planning, with Sebastian, shockingly, standing up to the extravagant plans that Angie had pulled out of a binder that she'd evidently had in some type of storage.

A simple ceremony, something that suited them, standing in front of Mayor Lewis and the citizens of Pelican Town, words exchanged about eternity and forever.

Yet here they were, the realities of forever being moving all of Sebastian's stuff out to William's house.

"Alone at last," Sebastian sighed as they drove into the farm.

William smiled and pulled him close, feeling a deep peacefulness sink into his bones as he parked his truck and started to help him unload.

*

((EIGHT MONTHS AFTER THE JOJA TRIAL))

It had been a strange All Spirits Eve. Marnie clearly thought it was a prank when Sebastian and Will had shown up with a black dove to see if she'd want to adopt it.

"I've never seen such a strange bird," Shane said dubiously, while Jas ran around in the background of the farm house, looking for her Spirit's Eve ribbon.

"It's a dove," Marnie said with authority, looking over the black bird, turning it this way and that.

"Yeah," Shane said, doubtfully, squinting. “But look at its eyes. They seem to... understand what we're saying."

"All animals understand things, Shane," Marnie chided.

Sebastian bit his lip and glanced at Will who looked bored...

"So what do you say, Marnie? You want him?"

Marnie sighed then put the dove into a cage. The dove glared at them murderously.

"Well, I suppose. What do you call him?"

"Roy," Will said blandly, looking back at the bird with not a single ounce of pity.

As they were leaving Marnie's house that afternoon, Sebastian bit his lip.

"Did we do the right thing?" he asked.

"We didn't kill Roy, we found him a new home. So yeah, I guess," Will said.

The bird had shown up on their porch that morning, grumpy and full of ire, yet had allowed Will to catch him and pull the note off his foot.

"It’s just...why would Ras use Roy to send his message?"

"Why does that sparkletoes do anything?" Will asked sourly. They slowed as they reached the tower, looking up together at the big brick building. For the past eight months, it had been dark, no lights in the windows, the door shut tight.

"Well," Sebastian said, taking the first step forward. “Let's get this over with."

"Careful," Will said, his eyes scanning the door suspiciously.

Sebastian had felt his over-protective gaze over his shoulder for months, his eyes constantly seeking him when they were apart, his hands reaching out whenever he could. Sebastian knew it was from when he'd passed out after taking the Witch's blast to his chest. He'd been told he died, but he just had to take their word for it. It hadn't felt like dying at all.

"You have the note?" Sebastian asked, stepping into the room.

Nothing had changed from when they had been here last, the books he and Ras had looked through still in their same spots, a thin covering of dust over everything.

"Yeah," Will said, handing him the small, furled little curl of paper. Sebastian pulled out his phone, snapping on the flashlight so he could read the instructions. He looked up and stepped towards the bookshelf, pulling down the indicated volume. He jumped back when something clicked in the shelf. They both stopped and stared as a passage with stairs leading down revealed itself. Will took a deep breath then stepped up.

"I'm going first," he said, in a tone that brooked no argument.

"I'm right behind you," Sebastian said, grabbing onto his belt.

They walked down the stairs, but slowed when they realized they were walking towards a glow. The farther down, the brighter the glow, until they were in a single stone room with a large, seven-foot-tall mirror against the wall.

"Well, it's about time you boys got here."

Both of them jumped, but stepping into view in the mirror was Ras.

He looked… great, actually.

Instead of his normally pinched face and sparse goatee, he'd filled out, looking like he'd gained a few pounds, his eyes less lined, his skin brighter.

"Rasmodius?" William said, startled. Sebastian peeked out from over Will's shoulder.

"In the glass," Ras confirmed. "Well. Look at you two. It's good to see you both."

"What are you doing?" Sebastian asked, puzzled. "I mean... you aren't here, are you?"

"It's Spirits Eve, Sebastian. The veil between the two realms is thin."

"You look good," Will said softly, his hand on Sebastian's shoulder. "How are things going with... um, Morgan?"

Ras relaxed and nodded.

"It is going very well indeed. With her in the Yoba plane with me, all of her harmful magics have begun to unwind and disappear. However, I wanted to give you something while I was thinking of it."

"What?" Sebastian asked, puzzled.

"Permission. You both now have my permission to go through the tower and use any of the information you find for the sake of the town and the farm. I don't know when the next time will be that I am on that side of the dimension. So, Sebastian, William, I want the two of you to be the custodians of my power until I can return for it."

They stared at him, stunned. Then Sebastian felt a swelling of pride.

"Of course," he said, firm.

Will looked down at him and pulled him to the side for the moment.

"Bastian, are you sure? We just got done with all this weirdness..."

Sebastian looked up at him, pursing his lips. There was a time in his life when he was too afraid to take on new challenges. Was unhappy and discontent with living in his small town. But William had shown him that there was plenty of excitement right in his backyard.

"We," he said, taking his hand, "can do anything together. I'd rather the two of us be in charge of whatever the weirdness is than anyone else."

William stared down at him, locked into the moment, then nodded and turned.

"Alright, Sparkletoes," Will sighed. “We'll housesit while you're gone."

Rasmodius beamed at them.

"Excellent. I know it's in good hands. Farewell, boys."

And like that, the light was out and they stood in a dark room, alone but with the knowledge that all was well.

*

When they got back to his farm that night, William felt oddly settled. They had worked for months to get the house set up where they both were comfortable. When they came in, Sebastian set the books he'd pulled from Rasmodius's library on his desk. The computer desk was his workstation. William had felt a sense of deep satisfaction that Sebastian had adjusted his schedule, getting up with him in the mornings and coding while Will worked on getting the farm back into shape. They'd both end work at the end of the day, and sleep at the same time. Sebastian still had his occasional night of insomnia, where he'd get up and go out to the porch to smoke and be alone, but it was bearable, the consistent nights together soothing William's anxiety about waking alone.

William wandered the house, turning off the lights, locking the doors and refolding the throw they used on the couch, while Sebastian scowled down at Rasmodius's hard-to-understand books.

"You know," William said, watching in amusement from the corner when it was close to bed. "Seems like you might be better off punting the stupid book into the pond."

Sebastian blew the lock of hair out of his eyes and stood, stretching, "I'm starting to agree," he groused, walking over and pressing his forehead against William's chest. Then, his hand slid up and he stroked the spot on William's collarbone where the Mermaid Pendant was inked.

"What would you have done if I'd said 'no'?" he asked against his t-shirt.

William looked down in surprise.

"You weren't going to say no," he said, amused.

Sebastian scowled and looked up at him. "Well no, but what if?"

William put his beer to the side and with a heavy sigh scooped him up.

"Hey!" Sebastian protested, pounding on his back. William ignored the protests and dumped him into their bed.

"I would have talked you into it," William declared, snagging Sebastian's struggling foot and pulling off his shoe. Sebastian laughed and reached behind himself blindly, catching a pillow and 'thwapping' William on the side of the head with it.

"I still need to set up my computer!" he protested as William stripped off the other shoe.

"Later," William said, grinning, fingers tickling his foot.

"Wiiiiiiiiill," Sebastian protested, trying to wriggle away, but, William noticed, not trying very hard.

"Baaaaaaastian," William mocked, fingers running up Sebastian's pants but moving to his band t-shirt, pulling it out of those maddeningly tight skinny jeans, and shucking both it and his hoodie off, tossing his own shirt off a few seconds later.

They wrestled, Sebastian putting up token resistance and sighing in appreciation when William finally pinned him down, naked. He reached into the side drawer and snapped open a bottle of lube, squeezing then tossing it to the side, kissing Sebastian’s neck as he prepared him.

William sank into Sebastian, sank into his warm and tight body, marveled at the sharp definition on his hips and how his thighs quivered in time to their pants. William found himself clutching Sebastian tight as they moved, fingers gliding down his lover's chest and finding his hard cock. William stroked Sebastian as he drove into him, going slow on the down-stroke and hard on the upstroke, only to slide back slow and easy again.

Sebastian's breath, beautiful and desperate, was music of its own. William had his other hand flat against his chest, Sebastian’s heartbeat drumming against his palm. William kissed his neck as they moved together.

"I love you," he crooned, moving in sync with him. "Would walk through hell to keep this."

Sebastian gave a hungry groan. "Will, you already proved that."

William groaned, and moments later they were on their sides, panting and shaking as they came together. He lay, clinging and shaking, eyes half-closed as he reveled in how _good_ it felt. He inhaled and squeezed his eyes shut.

He never thought he'd have this, he marveled, because Sebastian was staying. He was living here now, forever.

Sebastian got out of the bed a few minutes later while he lay and panted, and William opened his eyes. Sebastian came out of the bathroom then climbed back into bed, a warm and damp cloth in one hand.

William leaned back as Sebastian stroked him with the clean rag, cleaning sweat from his shoulders and chest, leaning down and laying loving kisses over his skin as he brushed. William reached up, stroking his face.

"I love you," Sebastian said softly, his fingers brushing the tattoos with the cloth, "and of course I was going to say yes."

William smiled and leaned back, sighing in contentment at the touches. His mind wandered in the darkness of the bedroom, Sebastian, his husband, catching his breath next to him. William closed his eyes, feeling hope blossom in his chest. He’d moved here to escape a cloud of gray. He’d lived for so long under a thick blanket of fog in his mind, but now he had a clear and steady purpose: The farm. Making Sebastian happy. Keeping his home safe. All concrete and life-long tasks. And he would have his life. All of it, with Sebastian to make those goals a reality.

He turned and faced Sebastian, propping his head up on the pillow.

“Hey,” William said, fingers lacing with his husband’s.

“Yeah?” Sebastian asked, groggy but content.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For everything,” William said, fingers brushing. “And for what’s to come.”

Sebastian met his eyes and the moment stretched.

Until Ingrid jumped up, meowing in annoyance at both of them for making such a racket, and folded herself up at the end of the bed. They looked at the put-out cat and then Sebastian collapsed into laughter against William's bare chest.

Joy.

Hope.

Sanctuary.

It was, he decided as he curled up to sleep, good to be home.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dearest Reader.  
> Yes, you. Whether you have reached this chapter the day it posted, or you have come to me weeks, months or even years later, Thank you. Thank you for reading my first novel-length work to its end. If you enjoyed this, I hope you will leave a comment. I am active and those words of appreciation and encouragement mean the world to me.
> 
> This has been a story that has run my life since August 2017 when William Bauer stomped his boots into my brain and dragged me around to witness his life. If you are interested in further adventures involving him, please subscribe to my name or go follow me on my [Tumblr](https://dracoangelicawritesfanfiction.tumblr.com/). I am always open to asks, comments or messages. I'm pretty talkative so feel free to drop a line.
> 
> To my Betas: [TurtleTotem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtleTotem/works), you always believed in me and in this story. I am grateful that you have given me so much of your time to listen to me ramble and to help me smooth off the rough edges of my draft. One day I will master dialogue tags and commas and Won't Randomly Capitalize, I swear. And [GingerDelight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/works), thank you for taking off my trash goggles on the daily and bopping me on the head with them. Thank you for your constant and steadfast support and cheerleading of this story. I'm so glad that my writer crush on you has turned into a writer marriage. <3 You both are my best friends and I am so lucky.  
> (Shut up. I'm not crying. You're crying.)
> 
> On April 7th, 2018, my next project will begin posting. Please subscribe to either myself or my collaborator, [GingerDelight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerDelight/works), to stay posted on its progress. If you haven't read Ginger's fic, [ For a Long Time Looking at Stars](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9634940/chapters/21766157%0A), I recommend it because her version of Shane will be the co-star in our newest title work.
> 
> Until next time!
> 
> ~Dracoangelica Feb 2018~


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